Reversed - An RGRE Story

>You are Anon, in a place you can't quite understand.
>It's not the fact that this world is inhabited (mostly) by technicolor little horses, aka ponies as they call themselves, but how their society works.
>It's a completely reversed take on gender roles, making the stallions girlish, in the best case motherly, and the mares behave like your typical manly man stereotype.
>Alright, sure, that's fine with you, if not for getting catcalled, despite being a whole another species!
>But it's okay.
>Their ruler, upon your arrival, was kind enough to assign her protege to guide you into this life amongst ponies.
>Ths protege has a circle of friends whom you have also became friends... sorta.
>Your problem is that from all of them only the rainbow maned pegasus understands you.
>Only she acts like you were one of them and not just another 'stallion'.
>Because of this you tend to trust her decisions, even if they sound stupid at first.

>...

>Be Anon, on a sight-seeing trip to Manehattan.
>Damned ponies, they made horse puns out of everything, even the city names.
>Your group of friends and you are sitting on a carriage/taxi.
>The girls are busy chatting and/or making photos and just generally being in awe for seeing such tall buildings for the first time.
>You couldn't care less, you are a city boy after all, so you just sit there, waiting for your suffering to end.
>You are about to ask when will you reach the hotel they picked when Rainbow starts talking to you.
>"Hey dude, you look bummed out. What's up?" She asks, looking as cheerful as the others but she speeks with a slight undertone of worry in her voice.
"Nothing... I just want to get to the hotel so I can get drunk." You admit rolling your eyes at her.
>Frowning the cyan mare wraps... uh... attempts to wrap a foreleg then a wing around you, none of that really happens.
>Ponies are so little!
>"Aw, come ooon, man! Don't be such a downer!" She cries out, making you grimace.
>What sort of language is that?
"Dash, look. I get it, you want to help me... all of you do, but right now the best help would be to just let me and twelve bottles of twelve years old whiskey have a date."
>You can't possibly drink that much but they don't have to know that.
>The girls, now all of them listening and looking at you, let out a collective, sad sigh.
>The rest of the ride to the hotel is spent in awkward silence.
>Finally out of the taxi you close out all the things and focus on getting to the hotel room's minibar as soon as possible.
>You barely register that the girls are talking to you, though you do feel a sharp blow in your side, to which you just grunt.
>A couple minutes later you are finally at your destination: the minibar!
>The following hours go by in a blur, but at some point you find yourself sobering up on one of the nighttime streets, you don't know where.
"Well.. shit... I gotta get back before they start to worry..." you mumble to yourself and pick a random direction to go.
>Five minutes later you are sitting on a park bench, totally lost.
>As it happens a jogger passes you by, and for some reasons stops to talk to you.
>"Hey, uh... are you alright?" He asks - a stallion of rather small stature, white coat, straight red mane with grey highlights and blue eyes - and you start to wonder why would he stop by you.
>Stallions do not have the same standards as human men, you expected a mare to stop and ask you if you are okay.
"No.. I'm lost. Got drunk and wandered off from my hotel," you admit, leaning back on the bench to look at this jogger stallion again.
>You can't see anything out of the ordinary, stallionish clothes, masculine, although small build and face.
>Before you could start to drunkenly wonder about why would he act normal by your standards, he holds up a hoof to pull you up.
>"Come on then, we gotta find your place, you will catch a cold!" He tells you, and even to your own surprise, you take his hoof.
>It's the booze in you, you reason.
>"So what's your name?" Your friendly fellow asks as the two of you leave the park.
"I'm Anon, and I'm not from around, if that's what you were wondering," you tell him, shrugging.
>Always the same jazz, they ask about your name and then where you are from, wondering why you look like... well, the way you do.
>"Ah, that explains your looks." Jogger pony replies and you kinda want to ask his name now.
"Uhhuh. What's your name, again?" You ask, feeling too sober all of a sudden.
"Oh, sorry for not introducing myself, I'm Scarliet Skies," he says and stops, putting his right forehoof on his chest, bowing a little.
>He opens a pair of wings which were hidden under the jogging clothes until now, slipping out from under them as he bows.
>Another pegasus, you think, maybe he'll be like Dash.
"Pleasure to meet you, Scarlet," you reply, nodding to him.
>"Any idea about the hotel's name?" He asks you, looking around in the mostly empty streets.
>What time is it anyway??
"None at all, I only remember the minibar. And that I left it empty," You reply and chuckle, Purple Pony Protege will have to pay for all of that or something, you brought no money with you.
>"Guess we will have to ask all of the hotels. Did you travel with somepony?" Scarlet asks you with determination.
>Why is he so set with helping you?..
"Yes, a group of six mares one of them is the student of the Princess or whatever, I always zone out when she starts to talk.
>"O... kay, that can actually help finding your place." He responds as he tucks his wings back under the jogging sweater.

>...

>About an hour of walking, hotel checking and talking later you are standing in front of a building that looks vaguely familiar.
"Hey, I think this one is it," you tell Scarlet.
>You soon figured that he is a really swell guy and almost acts like a proper dude from Earth, and not like these sissies of Equestria.
>"Guess we part ways then. It was nice to meet you, Anon." He tells you and starts to leave... but you stop him by quickly standing in front of him.
"Nuh-huh, you got me home before sunrise, I gotta repay this kindness," you say as you shake your head and guide the pony towards the building.
>Heck, Pinkie Pie is actually in there, bouncing as usual, this really is the place.
>"Well.. if you insist." Scarlet sighs, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden, even you can notice it.
>Too late for backsies, the two of you enter the hotel and immediately get greeted by the pink embodiment of party.
>"OhmygoshAnonyouarebackandyoubroughtafriendwithyouhiIamPinkiePiewhat'syourname?!" She asks, or at least you think she does, not understanding half of what she has just said.
"This dude here is Scarlet Skies, I met him in some park after I got lost," you introduce Scarlet to Pinkie.
>"Uhm... nice to meet you," he waves a little to her.
>"Oooh, a new friend! It's so nice to meet you! Thank you for bringing good old silly Anon back to us!" She says energetically, then hugs both you and Scarlet, only to let go and speed off, probably to tell the rest of the girls of your arrival.
"Just... ignore her, let's go up to my room, I think I have one bottle of booze left," you tell Scarlet, patting his back.
>He seems reluctant.
>"I'm.. not sure," he is frowning now.
>Thankfully you know the medicine that will turn that frown upside down!
"Aw come on, it won't hurt!" You grin 'convincingly'.
>A couple minutes later you find your room (thanks to the key that was in your pocket all along) and enter.
>Empty bottles of alcohol are everywhere, but you spot a few that's still half full at least.
"Welcome to my room! Now let's just ignore the empty bottles and take a seat," you tell Scarlet as you close the door behind him.
>"O-okay..." he nods nervously.
>You will fix that up quickly, it only needs some sips from the brew and he will be happy and all like when you met him!
>Focused to make that true, you chat Scarlet up, asking about where he lives, what he does, how often he jogs - and all along you give glass after glass of booze to him.
>By the fourth glass he is giggling like a schoolgirl, but at least he is not nervous!
>As it turns out he is a local, works for the Manehattan Meteorological Institution and just happens to be on a two weeks long vacation.
>With each passing minute he starts to warm up to you more and more, soon switching seats to sit right next to you, then leaning on you, then wrapping hooves and wings around you.
>You... have not expected this.
>He is too friendly now and you start to feel uncomfortable.
>"A-anon, you did not tell m.. me *hicc* that you are a charmer..." he tells you drunkenly, pressing his muzzle against your side, chest.. then neck.
"U-uh, dude, what... what are you doing?" You ask, trying to shy away, to no avail.
>"What do y- *hicc* -ou think I'm doin'?" He asks back, grinning slyly.
"No, I mean you are trying to, uh... thing with me, but I'm not gay!" You tell him, shaking your head.
>Scarlet looks confused now.
>He blinks at you several times, then arches an eyebrow as if you said something extra stupid.
>"You do realize that... *hicc* I'm a mare, right?" He asks flatly.
>Wait, what?
"Wait, what?" You stare at him... her? With wide eyes.
>"Yes, I am! Well, I guess you *hicc* are not from around so you couldn't figure it... makes sense..." she replies, giggling again.
"But... you look like a dude! You act like a dude, talk like a dude and dress like a dude! Even your voice is like a dude's!" You try to reason, your world collapsing around you.
>"Just... just... ugh!" She grunts and grabs your right hand, pulling it inside her jogging pants.
>You can't act quickly enough and pull it away.
>A moment later you realize that you feel a certain lack of something between her legs.
>It is confirmed, you have been bamboozled.
>A reverse trap, you note the definiton for what she is.
>Why and how, you have no idea, but here she is.
>You start to wonder if you should be disgusted, interested, excited or bummed out, however, Scarlet stops you from going too far with those thoughts.
>"Kiss me you idiot!" She tells you and leans into a kiss which you can't avoid.
>Well, might as well...
>Thinking about your defining lack of action, the fact that your little reverse trap friend, Scarlet, wants to kiss you and probably more, you just roll with it.
>Hoping that the strong booze you made her drink took away the taste of hay or whatever, you kiss her back, not shying away from using your tongue!
>Scarlet is quite feisty, probably because of the alcohol coursing through her veins, and kisses you back with fervor.
>Yepp, you only taste the hard liquor, it encourages you to explore her mouth with greater excitement.
>As the two of you tongue fight for dominance, you pick her up with ease and bring her to the comfortable double bed.
>To you the bed is barely as large as a single one, for now however that does not matter.
>Sitting down on the edge, Scarlet still in your arms, you start and sensually run your fingertips up and down her back and sides.
>She breaks the kiss and leans back to talk to you.
>"You know Anon, you are quite *hicc* lucky, I haven't had any action in... months," she tells you, looking serious for a moment. "A-and I'm just s- *hicc* sayin' that you aren't the best catch either, so you are luc- *hicc* lucky you got me drunk."
>This thought makes you feel kinda bad.
>As you think about it, your drive seems to leave you.
>Then Scarlet puts her hooves on the sides of your head, forcing you to look into her blue eyes.
>"Aw dang it, don't feel bad please! I still wanna do it!" She says, letting out an annoyed sigh. "Why must I always tell these things to the stallions I'm with... ugh.." her little self-scolding brings a smile on your face.
"Hey, it's okay. I know what I am: a dumb, potentionally alcoholic slacker, living off the goodwill of others," you admit, the weight of your words hurting even you.
>"Aw man..." Scarlet frowns, hugging you.
>Now both of you feel like crap.
>You decide to just lean back on your bed, ending up kicking your shoes off and lying down on the soft mattress properly.
>Scarlet is still in your arms, cuddling into you as you get on your side.
>"Anon?.." she takes your attention.
"Hmm?" You turn your head a little and start to pet her mane.
>"I think I bucked up. Ponies always assume I'm a stallion, then when I stumble into one who wants to... to.. *hic* to get on with me, I badmouth them and make things like... this."
>You just nod to what she is saying.
>Honestly, she reminds you of yourself in some manner.
"It's fine, we are both adults here. We make mistakes," you shrug.
>"So you are not angry at me?" She asks, turning her head a little.
"Nope. And still a bit horny, if that's your next question," you reply, smirking just right to let her see it.
>For a few seconds she just stares at you, then she starts to grind her pegasus flanks against your crotch.
>Back into business, you quickly take your clothes off, then help Scarlet out of hers.
"I... don't know about how big stallions are... sorry if I disappoint," you tell her as you feel her unclothed body pressing against yours.
>"Don't sweat it..." She exhales.
>You feel a hot wetness pressing against your skin, leaving a wet mark.
>Damn, she is horny!
>Planting your hands on her flanks, you squeeze them.
>'Muscular, well chiseled' are the words that pop into your mind, and with a grin you guide her closer to your manhood.
>You are already rock hard, you don't need any encouragement.
>With your right hand you lead your tip to her glistening entrance and gingerly press it against her.
>Scarlet lets out a little gasp as the contact is made, and as she does so, your left hand wraps around her body, seeking out her marehood.
>A moment later your fingers are touching her pussy, the wetness quickly coating your digits as you rub her excited cunt.
>The happy little gasps every time you touch her clit tells you that you are, in fact, doing it right.
>With your control over her made sure, you start to push in the tip of your cock, easily sliding in thanks to the, by now copious amounts, of pussy juice.
>"O-oh... feels different..." Scarlet moans, pushing herself against you again, taking control.
>This of course leads to you quickly bottoming out in her, making her moan and sigh out in bliss.
>"You are just fine..." she whispers, and as she does so, she starts to grind on you.
>Pony pussy feels different.
>So much better muscle control.
>You find yourself practically twitching as she works her little flanks on you!
>This gives you an idea.
"H-hey... do you want to... uh... be on t-top?" You ask her, almost unable to formulate words.
>"Oh my, do I?"
>A few moments later...
>You are lying on your back, hands on the hips of Scarlet as she pounds you into tomorrow.
>Is it a pony thing, is it the reverse gender roles, or something else, you don't know.
>Facing you and staring into your eyes.. nay, soul, she holds out her forehooves.
>You take them into your hands, her little gasps of pleasure making you that much hornier and closer to cum.
>The wet schlicking sounds only add to the feeling, and you have to realize, NOW she sounds like a mare!
>You look down at how quickly and effectively Scarlet lifts her hips, just to slam them right down a split second later.
>Like a well oiled piston, almost, your cock is penetrating her relentlessly, and you have no control over it.
>Leaning completely back, you feel the familiar pressure of an orgasm appearing in you.
"I... I think I'm... gonna.." you mumble.
>"Shhh, don't talk, just enjoy it!" Scarlet responds, closing her eyes and leaning back.
>You take her advice and close your eyes as well.
>As if you have been deprived of it forever, you reach sweet release, the hot pressure in you finally undoing as you cum, filling up Scarlet's pussy with your seed.
>With a rather loud moan of pleasure Scarlet orgasms as well, her pussy muscles clamping down on your dick, trapping it inside her.
>It almost hurts you, but soon her orgasm subsides and you lean forward, wrapping your arms around her.
>You spend the next ten minutes basically motionless, hugging her close, still penetrating her.
"That was... incredible," you sigh out, petting her mane.
>"Hmm-mhm..." She lightly nods, or rather, nuzzles into your neck.
"I hope nobody heard us," you say then, glancing around, as if you could see through walls.
>In the next room to the left, Anon's friends are lying in their beds, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes.
>"He is not pent up anymore, Ah s'ppose." Applejack comments after a while.
>"Anon, you moron..." Dash facehoofs, shaking her head.

>...

>Your night in your hotel room passed you by way too quickly and now you are in the shower, trying to wash your hangover out of your system.
>Scarlet Skies, your new smol fuckbuddy is right next to you, enjoying the lukewarm water as much as you do.
>Glancing down at her you wonder for a moment, she still looks like a stallion, kinda acts like a dude too, but then again, the mares here behave like males here.
>With these mind-boggling thoughts at hand, you decide to ignore it all and just lean down to pick her up.
>"H-hey! Easy! Don't ruffle up my feathers!" She whines.
>Her wings are also smol, but in a proportional way.
"Yeah-yeah... what are we going to do now? I mean, after shower and all," you ask, slowly spinning around with Scarlet in your arms.
>"Uhh... I... we... I don't know. I mean, I will have to go back to work in less than two weeks and you live in a town that's like a three hours train ride away, if that's what you are asking."
>She is right, this thing is really temporary.
>Thankfully you have not one, not two, but six mares to ask what to do!
"Guess I will have to figure out this on my own then. Here..." you reply to her and put her down, both of you return to shower.

>...

>The breakfast with the girls is rather... awkward.
>All of them are making side-glances at you, you see deep disappointment on Dash's face, too.
>You couldn't care less about the glances, but the expression of your best (and maybe only) friend makes you feel bad.
>Deciding to end this nonsense, you think of the best way to start and make a conversation, bringing up great points and logical reasoning.
>You clear your throat and speak up.
"What."
>Your voice is flat and now all of them are looking at you, frozen like statues.
>About twenty seconds pass like this as you look at each and every one of them in the eye, reaching Dash at last.
>"Why are you such an idiot, Anon?" She asks you, frowning deeply.
>You frown back, staring into her eyes.
"I have... not a bloody clue why you think that I'm an idiot," you reply, shaking your head, "and you lot, you wouldn't tell me a word either! How am I supposed to right my wrongs if I don't know what they are?"
>Understanding women was a mystery to you, understanding mares is a mystery wrapped in a riddle, inside an enigma.
>"Well, there are a few things we could give a list of if yo-" Twilight tries to say but you interrupt her.
"No, I am not interested in lists. I met someone, we hit off well, got really drunk and then fucked. Why is this such a problem?" You start to feel disappointment of your own.
>"Anon..." Dash groans, "you could have told me... uh, us, that you are gay!"
>Your confused expression must tell stories you can't put into words.
"Gay? What?!" You ask, barely able to contain your anger, "what the /fuck/ are you talking about?!" You demand, not even noticing that you hit the table with your fists, making all of them startled.
>The confusion on Dash's face makes you offer more information to her.
"You think I... that we... the... oh my damned... that pegasus was a mare! A-a-a trap, or whatever!" You spurt out, leaning back and looking away.
>The silence that settles on this canteen becomes quite overwhelming.
>"Well... buck." Dash deadpans, looking at her fellow friends.

>...

>It's been a few hours since the breakfast incident.
>You wish you could just go with Scarlet, your lovelife is fubar and now literally everyone thinks that you are some sort of sexual deviant.
>Thankfully Mr. Red Label is near - in your right hand - so you can tell all your sorrow to him.
>Alcoholism is your life now, you guess.
>Or, rather, it would be if not for a knock on your door.
"Go away!" You yell at whoever is behind the locked door.
>"Are you sure?" You hear a familiar, kinda coltish voice.
"Scarlet? Shitshitshitshitshit-" you scramble to throw the bottle of whiskey in a cabinet, "don't go anywhere!" You yell then, grabbing an orange soda to mask the smell of alcohol.
>A minute later you are kinda presentable and open the door of your room, only to see... all six of your friends and Scarlet, who is in a hoodie and jogger shorts now.
>You don't know what to expect, so you just stare down at them.
>Dash to the rescue, she speaks up first.
>"Okay, look, we all did something bad here, so I got the girls together to fix the problem. Can we come in?" She asks, already walking in your room, without your approval.
>She tends to do that quite often.
"Right, sure..." you sigh, standing aside.
>The ponies file in, with the exception of Scarlet.
>She just stands there, making that head move which means that she wants you to lean close.
>You do so, she starts to whisper.
>"Hey... let's.... let's skip this and go to my place. I have a few things to tell you," she says.
>You shrug, turn around and close the door of your room, locking it behind.
>It takes a good ten seconds till the banging and yelling begins.
>By then you are already in the elevator going to the ground floor.
>Neither can Scarlet or you hold a straight face for long, chuckling until you leave the hotel building.
>"Wow, these mares are obnoxious!" She exclaims after finally getting outside, "I wanted to talk to you but that pink one, uhh... Ponka Poe? Ehm, she cornered me and forced me to follow them... Celestia damn it."
>You feel sorry for her.
"She can be overwhelming first," you admit, "but she makes the best pastries, ever."
>Scarlet nods to that, waving down a chariot/taxi.
>"Well anyway. I thought about yesterday... uh, today? And... well, screw my job, I wanted to leave this damned city anyway," she tells you, then tells her address to the taxi pony.
"Wait... are you saying that you...?" You ask, baffled.
>"Uhhuh. I mean, why not? We only live once, after all."
>You can't help but facepalm at that.
>This is literally your second day in Manehattan and you are already dealing with things like this.
>You wish you have had that bottle with you now...

>...

>Your day could go better, to be honest.
>Scarlet's decision to just up and go is... reckless, to say the least.
>It shows how the gender roles are completely switched up, only some idiot of a man would do such a thing.
>As you sit on her proportionally small couch, you think about these things, trying to view her decision from the point of view of a man.
>It... kinda makes sense, you have to admit, but on the other hand, is it really worth it?
>You are not the best catch.
>You are barely a catch, even.
>You facepalm again, for the seventh time under ten minutes, your mind is abuzz with the nonsense ponies throw at you all the time.
>"Hey, why the long face?" You hear Scarlet talking to you, however you are not really there, so you just grunt in response.
>Scarlet's grimace can't evade your perception, especially because she walks in front of you and leans so close to your face, your nose can practically touch hers.
"...What?" You finally ask, focusing your mind on her, looking deeply into her blue eyes.
>"You act like a stallion now, all worry, none of the adventurous joy I have seen in you just yesterday," she explains, shaking her head, "it's disheartening, Anon. You are breaking my heart!"
>There it goes, you are facepalming again.
>She's mocking you now, quite like how that one former colleague of yours back on Earth.
>Screw that guy.
"Well, what do you suppose I should do? We barely met!" Your tone of voice carries how stupid this situation feels to you.
>"There it is again... What am I going to do with you?" Scarlet responds, shaking her head with a disappointed expression on her face.
>You roll your eyes and lean back, staring up at the ceiling.
>For some reason or another you think you see something written on it.
>Before you could focus on that, your view gets blocked out by Scarlet's red and grey mane as she leans above you.
>"And what would happen if I did... this?" She asks, sitting down on your lap, making an attempt to rub against your junk.
>Your pants are effectively blocking her attempt, however the message goes through.
>With a groan you put your hands on her sides and lift her off of you.
>"H-hey, wait!" She cries out, trying to flap her wings to lift off, to no avail.
>A moment later she is firmly planted next to you, her wings kept shut under your palms as you keep her in place.
"Scarlet, look..." you begin, looking into her eyes, "I know how you feel, but.. can't we just think about this for a moment?"
>She stares up at you with an adorable-angry expression, which you have to fight yourself to not smile at.
"So... let's recap this. We met, got drunk, fucked, you went home before breakfast, thought about things and now we are here, 'discussing' how you throw everything away just to be with me," you tell her, deeply frowning.
>"Uhhuh. Yeah, that's basically how it happened. Why, what's your problem with it?" She asks, tilting her head to the side, "you... you think I like it here?" The incredulous expression on her face confirms that she actually means what she is saying.
"Well I, uh, no sane person would jus-" you try to reply, suddenly rather unsure about your reasoning, but she cuts you off.
>"Oh, boo-hoo, grow up, Anon! This place, the whole city, it sucks! I hate my job and been waiting for a reason to just uproot and leave for years now!" She sighs, shaking her head, "does this look like a happy place to you?"
>You look around in the room.
>Everything is dull. Grey. You see some photos of Scarlet but she is not smiling on either of them.
"No... I guess not," you quietly reply to her.
>Once again she reminds you of how you lived and felt in your life on Earth, before Equestria and all this pony nonsense.
>You can't help but admit that you are, in some twisted way, happy here.
>Even if you are.... were frustrated because of your lacking love life.
>Then comes Scarlet in the picture.
>She basically throws herself at you and you react with... doubt?
>Disbelief and doubt, yes.
>It's almost like when you were a kid, seeing that one toy you really wanted.
>As long as you don't have the means to get it, you are longing, wishing for it to be yours.
>Then, when you can buy it... you don't want it anymore.
>Not even yours just yet, still sitting on the shelf in the store, but you don't want it any longer.
>Is this it, the same thing again?
>You start to get angry at yourself.
"You know what?" You start, a determinded expression appearing on your face, "fuck this place! Fuck it all! Let's go! I'm so done with everything right now," you sigh, letting go of her.
>Scarlet just looks at you for a few moments, then she grins and jump-hugs you, giggling in joy.
>You wrap your arms around her, drawing her into a proper hug.

>...

>The walk back to the hotel is spent in a happy silence, with Scarlet occassionally flying up to hover-hug you.
>She is making you smile alright, even though the other ponies around are making funny faces at this 'strange' display.
"Who should tell the girls about this... this... all?" You ask her as you near the hotel's entrance.
>"Well, I don't exactly know them, soooo..." she replies, shrugging.
"Of course." You sigh.
>You hate explaining things to them.
>A few moments later you are in the lounge, looking at Fluttershy who was most likely left there to see if you return.
>Or she just shied away from going.. wherever the rest of them went.
>She spots you and waves to you, bearing a genuinely happy expression.
"Gig is up, let's go," you tell Scarlet and head towards your butter yellow friend.
>After settling down on the comfy couches Fluttershy was at, you look at her, waiting for the timid pegasus to ask you.
>It takes the usual few moments, but as soon as she finds herself comfortable enough in Scarlet's presence, she speaks up.
>"I.. we have been worried, Anon. To be honest, Applejack was more angry and Rainbow Dash was even more... disappointed, but we were all worried," she tells you in her usual, barely audible tone of voice.
>You don't need to strain your ears to understand her though, you know exactly how all of them would react.
>Kicking the mental image of that out of your head, you just nod to her.
"Scarlet and I had to have some alone time, you see. With the rest of the girls.. we couldn't exactly have that," you explain, making sure to avoid showing too much emotion, lest you want to scare Fluttershy.
>Took you a while to learn how to handle her.
>"Mhm, I see. Did you work the problems out, though?" She asks you, looking hopeful.
"Well yes, we did. Scarlet is moving in with me as soon as we return to Ponyville," you smile, genuinely, forcing yourself to not think about any bad things.
>"There are openings in the Ponyville Weather Patrol, right?" Scarlet chimes in, gently smiling.
>"O-oh! Anon, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you! And... yes, I think they do hire new ponies." Fluttershy replies, nodding and smiling.
"Huh, so it really is working out, after all," you comment, leaning back.
>Scarlet uses this opportunity to quickly go and sit on your lap.
>You start to idly pet her mane and scratch behind her ears.
>Force of a habit, you have always had dogs and they all loved that.
>"O-oh, my..." Fluttershy whispers, staring at Scarlet and you with wide eyes.
"These bloody ponies..." You say under your breath, barely audible.

>...

>"Well Ah s'ppose that could work out fer ya, sugarcube," Applejack shrugs as she responds to Scarlet's plans.
>It's around noon now, the girls all returned to the hotel to eat lunch, which inevitably led to a meet up with them.
>Scarlet's apparent joy was enough to convince them of that you don't need scolding for leaving them behind in the morning.
>The fact that she couldn't be shot down also helped a little; you have no idea how much anguish and pain she has had to go through to be this joyous over throwing away literally all of her previous life.
>"Of course it could! It will! Am I not right, Ms. Dash?" Scarlet asks your friend, still grinning.
>Said rainbow maned pony in question just shrugs.
>"I mean.. sure, I definitely can tell a few good words to the weather team... I'm just.. not sure..."
>Those last words are muttered, barely audible in the noisy canteen.
>"What was that, darling? We couldn't quite hear you well!" Rarity speaks up, taking the bullet.
>Rainbow sighs, lowering her head.
>You can see that she is having trouble with how things turned out on this trip, namely the events that transpired in her absence.
>You are thinking about how and why this could be a problem for her, she is your best friend, after all...
>"I said... ugh, I said I'm not sure. I mean, sure, I have been in the team for a good while, best worker and such, but I left it since a while..." Rainbow finally speaks up, but you know her enough to know she is not telling the true truth.
>She can say stuff that is true, but not the truth she has been asked of.
"Really now? Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty, personal friend of Twilight Sparkle, Wonderbolt trainee... or full time Wonderbolt, I can't even recall, uhm do I need to list more titles? What's your /real/ problem, Dash?" You ask her, noticing how everyone goes silent and tense as you start to speak to her.
>With a mildly annoyed expression you glance at your friends, then at Scarlet.
>All of them seem to know the problem, despite not saying a word, save for Scarlet of course.
>She knows as much of this as you do.
"Well? I'm waiting," you tell Rainbow, putting your spoon down, wondering when you grabbed it.
>You didn't plan to eat soup that has hay in it anyway.
>For about twenty tense seconds you are observing the girls as they exchange those looks you grew to hate.
>Always makes you feel like you are an outsider, despite their best effort.
>Damned reversed gender roles again, they think you'll flip like some hysterical woman would!
>Wait, that's it.
>The only thing you have to do is so simple, it's the most natural thing to you!
"Dash... look, I'm not going to judge, get angry, flip or do anything a stallion would. Remember, I'm not from around! So just tell me. What's this all about?" You ask her, sounding as calm and collected as you can possibly muster.
>For a few more seconds Dash just stares at you, then she closes her eyes and sighs in resign.
>"I will tell you after lunch, this is a... uh... private topic," she explains, frowning sadly.
>You hate to see them - ponies in general - sad like that, but in this situation you can't do much.
>You have to respect what she's just said, the same way you would respect the wish of a bro who feels bummed out and just wants to enjoy the company of a bottle of booze.
"Right. Later then," you nod and start to grab yourself food you can actually eat, this whole topic closed for now to you.
>The girls all seem to let out a more or less silent sigh of relief.
>You feel Scarlet gently poking your side, mouthing 'what's going on' to you, but you just shrug back to her.
>You have no idea either.

>...

>The room of the girls is at least three times bigger than yours.
>Well, sure, six of them has to share it, but still, you feel left out with your single bed room.
>Even if the single bed is actually a princess sized bed.
>As you walk in you notice how all of them took a seat on the various furniture the room has to offer.
>Naturally, Pinkie is sitting atop the wardrobe with no observable way she could have used to get up there.
>Forcing back a chuckle, you look at them all, your gaze stopping at Rainbow.
>She is sitting on the edge of her bed.. blushing?
>Oh, the color of embarrassment, how adorable.
"Shall we begin?" You ask them matter of factly as you close the door behind you.
>They response in the affirmative, so you just sit down on the floor to get on (more or less) eye level with them.
>"R-right..." Rainbow starts unsurely, looking at her friends to gain courage, "so the problem was that... y-you know how we are friends, right?" She sounds quite vague, probably unable to just shape her thoughts into words.
>Quite familiar.
"Yes, you are basically my only friend, best friend if I might say," you nod, keeping a neutral expression.
>"Right, yes. So... I like spending time with you, Anon. You are fun! I can talk to you about sports and fights and-and.. stuff!" She lets out an exasperated sigh, looking at the others.
>The girls, especially Rarity, gives her reassuring nods.
>They are up to something, you realize.
>"So... so.. you are like a lesbian best friend a-and I-uh.... uh... f-forget it!" She stutters and tries to jump it... only to get caught by Twilight's magic.
>"No, Rainbow Dash, we have already discussed this. Mare up and tell him," she commands her friend, placing the speedy pegasus back on the spot she occupied just a couple seconds ago.
>"Okay-okay, fine!... Ugh..." Rainbow grimaces, probably feeling rather awkward, "I... I.... I can't tell him! Let me go!" She cries out and this time Twilight is not holding her back.
>As her rainbow trail disappears, you furrow your eyebrows, your lips becoming a line as thick as a blade.
"Care to explain? Any of you?" You ask in a mildly demanding tone.
>The room's silence is only broken by the sound of Scarlet shuffling as she climbs onto your lap and gets comfortable.
>Cheeky, isn't she?..
>After a long, disappointed sigh, Twilight speaks up.
>"She has a mare-crush on you. Her biggest problem is that you are actually a... oh, how did she put it? A... guy," she explains, rolling her eyes, "and she hasn't been interested in relationships so far, therefore this is a serious problem to her."
>The things these new facts imply are quickly getting to your head.
"But why?" You ask, not quite understanding the problem.
>As you ask, you start and pet Scarlet's mane... and scratch behind her ears again.
>"Darling.. we can't solve this problem for Rainbow. You will have to talk to her about it," Rarity sadly shakes her head, wearing a sympathetic expression.
"Well, that's just great. Since you all know me as the one who can talk through things and stuff," you reply, facepalming, "when will this ever end?.."

>...

>Rainbow Dash didn't show up for the rest of the day.
>Since the entire tour was about sight seeing, the train back to Ponyville was the one that's leaving at eight in the evening.
>The afternoon was quite busy for Scarlet, and therefore you, you were helping her packing up all the things she wanted to bring while she went to her workplace to resign.
>You ended up with only two larger suitcases.
>As the sun began to set and your group gathered in the hotel's lounge, Rainbow finally showed up.
>Your heart began to break seeing her in the state she was, wings and ears drooping down, head held low, mane and tail disheveled.
>She probably tried to fly her pain away.
>It obviously didn't work.
>"Oh my goodness! Rainbow darling, are you alright?" Rarity gasps as she notices her friend, trotting to her as fast as her elegant gait could allow.
>"Yes... no..." Rainbow answers, looking up at Rarity, then at you, "I'm sorry..." She says then, sitting down on one of the couches.
"We will have to talk about this... problem on the train. You know that," you tell her and sit next to her.
>She just looks up at you, fakes a smile and nods.
>"Sure.." she says with a sigh.
>You can't imagine her inner struggle, but before you could try to, you feel Scarlet poking her head under your arm on your other side.
>You look at her and smile, ponies are adorable after all.
>This whole new situation however... it's making your head hurt.
>You already know, the ride back to Ponyville will be a long one.

>...

>The trip back to the train station is spent without as much as a peep.
>Sure, Pinkie does her antics, but even those are more moderated both in intensity and noise.
>The weight of the situation is hanging over everyone like that sword the name of you have forgotten.
>At the train station, as your group is forced to sit down and wait, you finally find the chance to look into Rainbow's eyes.
>She's the most sad you have seen so far, her inner pain practically radiates from her.
>With a sigh you kneel down in front of her as she sits on one of the many benches the train station has to offer.
"Rainbow... hey, Rainbow!" You snap your fingers a few times in front of her face.
>"H-huh? What?" She breaks out of her lethargic state, only to sadly frown as she realizes that it's you trying to talk to her.
"Do you... uh.. do you want a hug?" You ask her.
>Ponies love hugs.
>For a few moments she just stares at you, then she nods weakly, sniffing.
>"Y-yeah, sure... go for it," she replies, not sounding too convincing.
>Regardless of her (lack of) enthusiasm, you lean in and quickly wrap your arms around her small body, patting her back and feathery wings.
>From your peripheral vision you can see the red-grey of Scarlet's mane moving, you realize that she's looking at the two of you.
>With one last little pat, you let go of Rainbow and stand up, barely catching that longing look on her face.
>It breaks your heart a little.
>The rest of the wait for the train is spent with quiet conversations between the rest of the girls and silence on your part.
>...
>As you board the train and find a train coupe with enough space to all eight of you, you can't stop to think about the things you should ask and tell your best friend.
>Your train of thoughts is only derailed by the discomfort you have to go through while sitting down on the super low and uncomfortable, only pony compatible 'seats'.
>You take a look around at the girls before speaking up: all of them are on various levels of sad.
"So. Let's just get going, the sooner we discuss this the better," you tell them, taking a last glance at the coupe's door to make sure it's locked.
>It is, you look back at everyone around.
>You are sitting in the middle of the seats that are facing the same direction the train goes, Scarlet is on your right, Rainbow is right in front of you.
>Her sad expression saddens a little more, further breaking your heart.
"Rainbow Dash? Do you wish to start or should dear Anonymous begin?" Rarity speaks up after a few moments of silence, taking the bullet once again.
>You will have to buy her a fancy cake or something, she deserves it.
>"Yes, right... so, Anon..." Rainbow starts, looking up at you, then shifts her gaze down at the floor, back at you again and at the floor once more.
>You know exactly what this means, however, you don't want to act upon it, this is serious business.
>"I have... been thinking. You know, we are friends and... and... oh, pony feathers... look, I have a crush on you, okay?" She blurts out, shaking her head, almost as if you have told her something painfully stupid.
"Yes, we are sorta best friends, and... well I'm flattered, but-" You would continue but Rainbow cuts you off with a raised hoof.
>"Okay, dummy, listen. I have a crush on you and it's tearing me apart! So hear me out," she continues, staring into your eyes.
>You just nod to her to continue.
>"I... I got this crush because of how you, uh, how you are. How you behave and act... you are cool and I love hanging out with you but... but..." she suddenly quiets down.
"But?.." You repeat, furrowing your eyebrows.
>You see from the corner of your eye that Scarlet is tilting her head inquisitively, probably as confused as you.
>This makes you glance around, and indeed, save for Twilight and Rarity, everyone else is having the same curious/confused expression.
>"But I'm not into stallions, okay? You make me this fuzzy and butterflies and... stuff, but you are a guy!" She cries out, now looking more hurt than anything.
>To your honest surprise, Scarlet speaks up, sounding kinda... disappointed?
>"Wait, you want to tell us that you are having this sorta thing happening to you?" She looks at you, at Rainbow, then at the rest of the girls, "I mean, look at me, I look like a colt and still get hit on by stallions!" She sighs, shaking her head.
>She makes a point in a... twisted kind of way.
>Scarlet is a trap, after all.
>"Y-you don't understand!" Rainbow hisses, her eyes narrowing as she looks at Scarlet, "you think it's so easy to be me, THE Rainbow Dash? Idol of countless fillies, the next big hotshot, only to fall for... for.. him?" She pokes a hoof at you.
>Besides the fact that now you feel kinda insulted, you understand her reasoning.
>Rainbow has a prestige she has to maintain, and that can't allow much private life, especially not lovelife.
>And now that she fell for you because of specific circumstances she has no control over, she's torn over what she could or should do.
"Well, isn't that just rosy," you huff, facepalming.
Rarity gently pats your left knee a couple times, reassuring you.
>You will have to get her more than a fancy cake, she's, like, your second best friend.
>"Well then, you can't be with him, so you won't, I already claimed him anyway." Scarlet replies to Rainbow, making you mentally cringe.
>"Whoa there, girls, calm down!" Applejack speaks up, quickly getting between the two lovestruck pegasus.
>Thank goodness for that.
>"Now, Ah'm sure ya'll have yer differences, but we can talk it out, like so-phis-tea-cate-ed beings," she tells them, making a noble, albeit funny expression.
>Both Rarity and you have to force back a snort, this was Rarity's doing on AJ, and you knew that.
>"Of course we can," Scarlet nods, leaning back in her seat, "I hereby challenge Ms. Dash to a duel!" She grins almost evilly...
>Everyone in the coupe gasps, save for you and Rainbow.
>You only facepalm harder and Rainbow forms a super-angry expression in reaction to this bold statement.
"Twilight, please tell me she can't do that," you sigh out, looking at her from between your fingers.
>"Well, technically she has the right to challenge a fellow pegasus mare to duel for a stallion, it's in the rule tablets of the Ancient Pegasi..." she replies with an awkward little grin, making you send her a death glare.
>"What in tarnation? Twahlight, ya can't just allow this ta happen!" Applejack cries out, shaking her head in disbelief.
>"This sound like super not-fun.." Pinkie quietly comments, you notice her mane to be less poofy than usual.
>"I'm sorry girls, but it's an ancient law, still in power... just because it is not acted upon nowadays, it won't be any less true."
>You wish you could see for just 5 seconds into the future to grab Twilight's mouth before she says something stupid like these things.
>"Where. How. When," Rainbow 'asks' in a low tone, looking at Scarlet above AJ's back.
>"Above Ponyville, cloudbox, tomorrow at noon," Scarlet quickly replies before anyone could say a word.
>As you look at the seven mares around you, you start to wonder, a question becoming rather clear in your mind.
"Why must this happen to me?"

>...

>You have been walking back and forth in front of your bed, in your home, in Ponyville, for the last at least ten minutes.
>Scarlet is sitting on said piece of furniture and you are trying to talk sense into her, that's why you are tiring yourself in this mind numbing way.
>So far she's refused to heed your words, and with the better part of the morning gone, you don't know how to diffuse the situation.
"For the love of... Just listen to me, will you?" You tell her, putting your hands on the sides of your head, "I'm not a property to fight over, I'm not a stallion, pegasus or pony to begin with! Ugh!" Your frustration makes no impact on Scarlet's expressionless face.
>"This is my choice and your so called 'best friend' accepted the duel. Neither of us can stand down now," she tells you for the fourth time.
>You feel like slamming your head into a wall, the absurdity of the situation is really getting to you.
>Then, as if on cue, a great idea pops into your mind.
>You stop in your tracks and look at Scarlet, her blue eyes are returning your gaze with an almost passionate lack of care.
"Fine. Whatever. Do what you want," you growl at her, your scowl making her eyebrows rise.
>Before she could respond, you storm away, slamming your bedroom door behind you.
>If the ponies expect you to behave like a crazy bitch, you will!
>Of course, that's not your plan, it's an essential part of it.
>Your plan requires a few other 'ingredients' you will only find in town.
>A minute later you are on your way to the Carousel Boutique, feeling bad for what you will ask of Rarity.

>...

The little bell of the tailoring shop rings out as you enter, prompting your alabaster unicorn friend to respond in her singy-song voice.
>"Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, I will be with you in just a minute, darling!" As usual, Rarity is working on a dress or another.
>You quickly locate her fainting couch - the only furniture large enough to support you properly - and sit down.
>You remain silent intentionally, if you would reveal your person, she would take more time to get to you.
>A minute of quiet thinking later you hear her marshmallow hooves clip-clopping on the floor as she approaches the front part of the boutique.
>"Oh, Anonymous dear, it's just you," she smiles, surprised to see you in her shop, "my, I was expecting a customer but... oh dear, you look troubled," she continues, a worried expression appearing on her otherwise immaculate face.
"Is it that visible?... Nevermind. Yes. I need help," you reply, sadly nodding your head.
>"It's the duel between Rainbow and Scarlet, is it not?" She asks, taking a seat next to you.
"Yes. I have a plan thankfully, but I will need you to act as a... a... an anchor," you try to explain, moving your hands up and down in front of you as you try to find the proper expression.
>"And in what way would you expect me to fulfil such a strange and unexplained role?" Rarity asks back, tilting her head and fluttering her eyes.
>Damn ponies, why are you so adorable.
"I actually only need your magic, Rares. I don't trust Twilight with this and you are the only unicorn friend I have. Can I count on you?" You offer her a forced smile, which quickly falters, you really don't feel like smiling.
>"Oh, but of course! Since you need my magic and used 'anchor' as the simile for what you require, I would expect you will want me to take hold of and keep one of our rowdy pegasus friends in place, correct?" She asks, making you nod, an expression of respect appearing on your face.
>One smart cookie, she is.
"Yes indeedy. I will need Applejack to get Rainbow under check though, so... can you help me convincing her?" You ask, placing a gentle hand on the back of your fashionista friend.
>"Why, yes, I most certainly can. We shall set out immediately, there is not much time left before noon!" She nods with a warm smile.
>The tab on how much you'll have to spend on the gift you will get to her is getting bigger, but damn, she deserves it.
>A few minutes later the both of you are already halfway out of Ponyville.
>At this time of the day Applejack is usually tending to her trees in the orchard, which means there is not much time left to bring her back to Ponyville.
>Despite being as graceful as she is, Rarity can keep up your jogging pace... for a while at least.
>As the two of you reach and leave the outskirts of Ponyville behind, she starts to lag back.
"Rarity? Ya alright?" You ask her, stopping.
>"Y-yes dear, I'm fine... I just.... I only need a tiny breather..." she replies, huffing.
>You don't have time for this.
"Okay, sorry about this, but we are running out of time," you tell her and pick her up in one fell swoop!
>Rarity's trademark yelp only makes you chuckle as you pick up the pace again, pony in arms.

>...

>The telltale song of strong hooves hitting the hard surface of the apple trees leads you to Applejack fairly easy.
>In respect to her dignity, you put Rarity back on her hooves before AJ could spot the two of you, she quietly thanks you for it.
>A second later you see Applejack turn and look at you, her green eyes inquisitively taking in the scene in front of her.
"Hello, AJ," you greet her and continue without missing a beat, "we don't have much time and I need your help."
>"Anonymous wants to stop Rainbow and Scarlet from fighting, you see," Rarity chirps in.
"Only your skills with the lasso can keep Rainbow in place, so... can I count on you?" You bluntly ask, hoping for that she will see the desperation on your face.
>Applejack looks at you for a few moments, then at Rarity, then shrugs.
>"Ah'm not sure if Ah should interfere with them girls. It's a problem of theirs, they have them rights to fight, just let them," she shrugs, walking up the the next tree to buck.
>"Applejack! How can you say something like that? Can you not see how troubled dear Anonymous is because of this violent wrangle Rainbow and Scarlet has jumped into?" Rarity pleads, to no avail.
>"Meh. Y'all know how mares in love are, just let them fight," she says before bucking the tree she walked up to.
"Oh, for fuck's sake!.." you growl facepalming in the most angry manner you can manage while ignoring whatever Rarity is telling you about language, "If you are not coming willingly, I will bring you there! I. Need. Your. Help!" You tell her, standing in front of her so you can properly tower above her small, pony form.
>"Pass," AJ replies, ignoring you.
>"Anonymous dear... we are running out of time. It is almost noon," Rarity quietly reminds you.
>Even if you did take Applejack with you, she wouldn't catch Rainbow.
>Now properly angry, you let out a groan of frustration, then as if she weighed nothing, you scoop Rarity up from where she stands and start running back towards Ponyville.
"Freakin' AJ and her stupid values!" You mutter under your breath, already feeling the strain of running the not so small distance from and to Ponyville, with a pony in your arms.

>...

>It only takes ten minutes and the feeling of that you will puke, to get back to Ponyville.
>However, it is already too late.
>"Oh dear," Rarity gasps, pointing up at the sky.
>A football field's length above you see a boxing ring made out of cloud.
>Inside you see a cyan/rainbow and a white/red figure flying and clashing into one another.
>You slow down and stop, letting Rarity go.
>For a few moments both of you are silent, then you speak up in a rather angered tone.
"For fuck's sake!"
>Rarity doesn't even try to scold you this time.

>...

>Be Purple Smart.
>The sight seeing trip you planned for a month failed, causing a tear between your friends.
>And the worst of it, you were forced to sit back and watch as it all came down crashing.
>You have been noticing a few signs of Rainbow Dash changing her attitude towards Anon, but you paid it no mind.
>Big mistake, the primate alien unintentionally made your hotheaded friend fall for him.
>Then he met with a colt-looking mare and immediately got hooked up, while the thing Rainbow was attempting didn't happen.
>You repeat the flow of these events as you make your way towards the cloud home of your pegasus friend, hoping that you could speak some sense into her head before she does something reckless.
>Or rather, more reckless than this whole duel thing that's happening later today.
>You find the front door of Rainbow's cloud mansion unlocked, and by the sounds coming from deep within the compressed cloud walls, you can make a guess why.
>Grunting, thuds, the crackling of electricity... Rainbow is getting ready for combat.
>You quickly get to the source of the sounds and enter.
"Rainbow Dash, I need to talk to you," you announce your presence, promptly breaking her out of her concentration.
>The cloud she was chasing and kicking zaps her with an arc of electricity, making the speedy pegasus yelp.
>"Twilight! Not now!" She cries out and jumps after the cloud.
>You make an unimpressed expression and wait for her to do... whatever she is attempting with that poor cloud.
>After two minutes of getting repeatedly electrocuted, she gives up, grumbling something about 'being watched.'
>With that out of the way you raise your eyebrows, making her sigh in frustration.
>"What?" She asks annoyedly, her frown is deep and angered.
"You are fully aware of the exact reason behind why I'm trying to talk to you, so let's just skip the unnecessary Q&A and get to the important parts," you tell her in a dry, impatient and serious tone.
>Rainbow looks at you for a few seconds with an expression you would describe as 'are you bucking serious?' but rolls her eyes and sits down right where she stands, staring at you.
"Good. I believe there is no point in telling you how reckless and pointless this duel is, so I am only going to ask you a question, Rainbow. Why do you feel like that a duel is the answer?" You ask, also taking a seat.
>Clouds feel funny on your tush.
>For a few seconds you see intense concentration on Rainbow's face, then she sighs again and starts to speak.
>"I guess I could say honor or some other old values, but you know the old rules better than anypony else I know, so... I.... ugh," she facehoofs, then continues to speak, "I told you guys how it's about my prestige, right? Well, I wasn't really telling the whole truth."
>You are not surprised, you are not a psychologist but even you were able to see the dance of emotions on Rainbow's face back then.
"Well then, what was the missing part?" You ask, making her continue.
>"It's.... I-I don’t know how to tell you, this... feeling in me. A part of me wants to buck that whorse's face and snatch Anon from her to myself, but...I don't know if I really want to do that either, I-I-I mean Anon is a guy and I'm... not into... UGH!" She groans, slapping herself on the face with both hooves.
>You offer her a sympathetic little smile and a pat on her withers.
"Don't worry Rainbow, I understand."
>"Do you?" She asks back in a tone you did not expect from her, "because I don't see you chasing after a mare! Seriously Twilight, don't try to pretend," she narrows her eyes.
"I'm not! I'm only trying to help you, please don't push me away," you reply, masking your annoyance well enough to not let her hear it.
>"Fine. But you can't change how I feel so you might as well just give up now," she replies and stands up, quickly turning tail to go somewhere else in her house.
>You follow her, rolling your eyes.
>"I know, I should have acted... it's already too late. She is... with him. And she looks like a stallion, for crying out loud!" she continues, almost as if she was grumbling to herself, but you don't dare to interrupt her now as she starts to open up.
>The two of you reach the kitchen of the house, Rainbow grabs herself some apple juice from her fridge before continuing.
>"I was... I was close to just go and confess to him, too. I guess. I just needed a good opportunity. But... no, this is my fault and it's only up to me to fix it," she says before opening the carton of juice and drinking straight from it.
>You are not even offered some.
"Why?" you ask her, taking her attention, "why do you think it's only your responsibility? You are not alone, Rainbow, you have many friends and everypony wants to help you. I went as far as visiting you because I'm worried about you!" you explain to her, making a worried expression..
>"It's not that simple, Twilight, alright? Admitting to myself that I'm into mares was difficult enough, I almost always feel guilt for rejecting all those cute stallions, but then... the one, the only one that's not like an everyday stallion who I fall in love with just gets taken away from me by some random mare! It's unfair! And my name is not Rainbow Dash if I'm not going to fix that!" She replies, growing cold in her tone as she reaches the end.
"Rainbow, please don't. There are other ways to handle this, I could find a-a loophole in the ancient rules! Please, just don't fly head-first into something you know you will later regret!" You try to reason with her, to no avail.
>Rainbow puffs out her chest, nostrils flaring, then puts the carton of apple juice down.
>"This is between Scarlet and I. The best mare will win, the stallions' opinion never mattered. You exactly know that," she growls to you and looks at the clock on the wall.
>It's almost noon.
>"Don't try to stop me, Twilight. I'm not the smartest gal around but even I know about the punishments a pony gets if they try to interfere with a pegasus duel," she tells you before opening her wings, ready to take flight.
"Rainbow... it's still not too late, please, just stop! There is always another way!" you try one last time, but you already know the answer.
>"No, there isn't. But don't worry, I will win," she replies, grinning in the way a maniac would.
>With a powerful flap of her wings she takes flight, and with the use of her pegasus magic she punches through the walls of her home, flying straight towards the center of Ponyville.
>You watch as her form grows smaller and smaller in the distance, knowing that you can't do anything.
>Ancient or not, the rules are rules, you are bound by them as much as anypony else.
"I have failed my friends," you sadly whisper, then set out to follow Rainbow.
>Hopefully you will be able to at least spectate and stop them if something bad happens.

>...

>The combat above the town quickly gathers a good number of spectators.
>Mostly pegasi of course, but other earthbound ponies are also looking up at the sky as the two mares fly at one another, exchanging kicks and blows.
>With Rarity on your side you run about underneath the designated arena, finally able to make out that the mares actually wear gloves and... 'shoes' made of some really thick looking cloud, but their fighting style reminds you of a completely aerial version of kickbox.
>For a few seconds you just look at them going at it, then you groan in annoyance, taking a deep breath.
"Stop fighting, for fuck's sake!" you yell up at them, and for a moment you see both lose concentration to look at you.
>As fast as it was taken, their focus is back on the fight.
>Rainbow seems to have the upper hand (hoof?) but Scarlet is capable of avoiding the oncoming attacks with greater efficiency given her smaller size.
>"What should we do now?" Rarity asks you, a worried expression on her face as she stares up.
"I... I don't know. Neither of us can go up there and they won't come down here. You can't reach them with your magic, can you?" you ask back, looking down at your alabaster friend.
>"I'm sorry Anonymous, I'm afraid I can't. I might have a trick or two up my sleeve, but this is simply too large of a stretch for me," she replies, frowning apologetically.
"Nah, it's alright... I guess I will just.. find a different..." you respond and look around for a rock you can throw.
>Best idea of the year.
>A few seconds later you find one, and with some aiming, you fling the large pebble upwards.
>It doesn't hit either of them but it does take Rainbow's attention.
>The split second is more than enough for Scarlet to land an unexpected blow, and with a yelp, Rainbow begins to plummet towards the ground.
"Shit!" you jump and run for where you think she will crash, "holy shiiieeee-" you yell out, jump, and end up kinda catching Rainbow.
>Except now both of you are on the ground, with the speedy pegasus on your belly as you lie on your back.
"What the fu-Rainbow you idiot, why are y-" you try to say but she puts a cloud-glove covered hoof on your mouth.
>"Anon, shut up! I got this, I will prove myself and..." she takes a big breath, exhales, then takes her hoof away from your mouth, leaning on for a kiss.
>It's short but passionate, and as she leans back she whispers you four words that make your stomach jump.
>"I love you, dummy."
>Before you could respond, or basically do anything, you see a red-white streak zoom down from above.
>A moment later Rainbow is knocked off of you and sent flying, taking up the fight again.
>Lying on the ground you stare up at them, feeling a strange combination of emotions.
>Forcing yourself to not think of them, you pick yourself up and yell at them again.
"Stop fighting! Both of you!" you sound angry now, "I give you ten seconds!"
>The mares look down at you, hovering momentarily, then they look at eachother, their expressions turning to one of pure rage.
>They both fly towards the other, ready to land the winning blow, then...
"Seriously...?" you mumble, watching the two pony fall from the sky, both of them knocked out cold.

>...

>You hate hospitals.
>They smell funny, the nurses are always angry at you, people are miserable, it's a bad place.
>Even the chair you occupy is making you feel uncomfortable.
>However, you can't just stand up and leave, no.
>Your chair is between the two beds Rainbow and Scarlet lying on.
>They have already received treatment for their injuries, so you are allowed to sit there like a statue, waiting for them to wake.
>After about the fortieth minute spent on that uncomfortable, small chair, you see Rainbow stir.
>"Ow... my head... side... back... hooves... ow my everything..." she mutters, slowly opening her eyes, "oh, hey Anon... you are here! So I won?"
>You shake your head no, frowning down at her angrily.
>"So I did then! Cool!" Scarlet speaks up, apparently she woke up while you focused on Rainbow.
"No, you didn't win either. In fact. Both of you lost," you tell them, crossing your arms before your chest.
>Both of them gasp, a look of shock and confusion settling on their faces.
>"But... we fought and..." Rainbow replies, then both of them say the same thing in the same time.
>"..I knocked her out!" they look at one another, then at you.
"And you both lost. I consulted Twilight about those stupid laws and it explicitly states that if the outcome of the duel is a draw, the stallion in question can choose either of the duelers," you explain, a calm, neutral expression appearing on your careworn face.
>So... who did you choose?" Rainbow asks the obvious.
"Neither of you," you respond, making both of them drop their jaws, "you don't listen, wouldn't settle for a civilized talk... why do you think things would be different if I picked one of you? Couples argue and I know for a fact that I won't back down from my truth, and if you two are like this, then..." you shake your head and stand up, literally kicking the uncomfortable chair away.
>The mares are just gawking at you, unable to form a coherent thought.
"You guys need bed rest. So stay put. Maybe if you would /talk/ first and decide after, things would have went differently," you tell them, turning away.
>"B-but... Anon, no!" you hear Scarlet cry out, her voice sounding like she is about to break.
>"No..." Rainbow whispers.
"It's better this way. For all of us," you sigh and leave the hospital room.

>...

>As the door is closed behind you, you lean on it.
>You turned and walked away because you couldn't keep your emotions off of your face.
>This hurts, a lot, making not one but two of them feel this... this...
>You force yourself to not feel again.
>The sound of approaching hoofsteps barely register in your mind.
>"How did they take it?" you hear the familiar voice of Twilight, breaking you away from your emotional agony.
"..Badly," you tell her, glancing at her for a few moments before looking down at the sterile floor again, "do we really have to do this? This... it's killing me, man."
>Twilight nods her head in the affirmative.
>"I'm afraid so. They won't learn their lesson if we are not forcing them to do so. I'm sorry for putting you through this, but... there really isn't any other way," she explains to you.
>Which is a lie, but at that moment you are not aware of that.
"I... see. Are you going to walk in and talk to them now?" you ask her, pushing yourself away from the door.
>"Yes, their shock is still fresh, I should actually start right about now," she confirms, nodding again.
"Alright. Uhm... good luck," you reply and start to walk away, the hushed conversation is over for you.
>"Thank you, Anon," Twilight says, offering a weak smile, then opens the door and walks in.
>The journey back home never felt this long and lonely before.

>...

>A whole day has passed since the duel between Rainbow and Scarlet.
>Through this day's worth of time you have been unable to settle down and relax, not for a minute.
>At the very least you are not alone in your suffering: after some thinking you decided to go and visit Fluttershy so you can talk to her about this event, however, you met her half way towards her cottage.
>Apparently she's had the same idea.
>The two of you decided to just go and sit down under a nearby tree and just... talk.
"How could this happen to me?.." you finally blurt out the near-rhetorical question, staring off into the distance as Fluttershy lifts her head to look at you.
>"Such is life, Anon. There are things we can't avoid and will have to... accept," she responds, lowering her head again, placing it on the soft grass.
>You are sure she talks from experience.
"Even then... I know I made my mistakes, but, I feel like this time I've got nowhere to run. This world, it was an unforeseen escape from my life, and it went so well, too..." you mumble on, more like just speaking to yourself than with Fluttershy.
>"You are not alone, Anon. You have your friends.. I'm your friend. I know it's not much, but... I am here for you," she replies and with that, she climbs onto your lap, leaning on you.
>You don't have the words to respond, so you just start to pet her mane, letting out a heavy sigh.
>Petting a pony really does make you feel better at least.
>Your moment of respite is broken when you hear a little... strange gasp escaping Fluttershy's lips.
"Wh... Flutters, what the fuck?" you ask her, leaning to the side to look at the butter yellow pegasus' pleased expression.
>"I-I-I'm sorry Anon, I just... I saw you do this to Scarlet and-and... I couldn't help myself..." she apologizes but you feel her still pushing her head against your palm.
"These fucking ponies..." you mutter but keep scratching behind her ears - you automatically start to do that, after all - realizing that the timid pony's antics took your mind off of your troubles, even if only for a brief moment.

>...

>It's around four in the afternoon when you get back to your home.
>On the way there you have had ample time to settle your inner problems, the chat with Fluttershy, added with the 'lewd' pony petting and consensual cuddling calmed your nerves.
>As you reach the front door of your house, about to grab your keys from your pocket, you notice that the door is, in fact, open.
>Like, broken-in open.
"Sonva! Why today of any days?" You grumble but keep your voice low, the burglars might be still in there.
>Quietly you enter, taking off your shoes so your steps will be silent.
>You mentally thank your mom for teaching you how to sneak like a ninja.
>Those midnight fridge raids were useful, after all!
>Straining your ears you start to make out the noise of hushed conversation coming from deeper within the wooden walls of the building.
"I will need a weapon for this..." you mutter to yourself and after a quick glancing around you find... a fly swatter. "Perfection," you grin, grabbing the less than lethal 'weapon'.
>Within a minute you are at a door which hides whoever is in your house.
>Or rather, whoevers, as you can hear multiple voices.
>You can't quite make out what they are saying, but they are definitely female and sound familiar.
"Screw this," you huff and armed with your fly swatter, you suddenly open the door, stomping in as loud as you can manage, "why did you break in my hou-oh hello Twilight. Rainbow, Scarlet... okay, what's going on?"
>You are successful in scaring the magic out of them, Twilight even sends off a couple sparks in her surprise!
>The two other girls - both wearing bandages and patches - just jump back and get airborne.
>Probably a pegasus reflex reaction.
>"Sweet Celestia, you scared me!" Twilight yelps, grasping her chest, "Anon, how did you sneak up on us??" she asks then, sounding more surprised than shocked now.
"Not a pony, remember? I can move near silently if I'm not wearing shoes," you answer, lifting up your right leg, pointing at your foot.
>All three of them look at the socks-clad limb.
"I will ask again now, why did you break in?" your voice is indignated, rightfully so.
>In fact, you walk up to Twilight and boop her nose with the tip of the fly swatter.
>"U-uhh... we-uh..." she tries to respond, her eyes focusing on the 'Fly Ender' (as you decided to dub the handy little tool).
>"We talked," Rainbow speaks up, landing next to you.
>"We have realized how stupid we both were," Scarlet continues, following Rainbow a second later.
>"We hope that you can forgive us. Even after... " Rainbow sighs, looking at Scarlet in hopes that she could finish.
>"After we went mental and fought, against your wish," she grumbles, looking away in shame.
>"Y-yes, see Anon? They can change," Twilight chirps in, suddenly perked up, "I will go now, you three need to settle the scores. See you all later!" She says and hurriedly leaves the room.
"Purple Smart! We are not done, you owe me a new door!" you yell after her angrily.
>Cheeky son of a... you swear you can hear her chuckle.
"Okay, fine, let's just sit down," you tell your mares, pointing at... your bed?
>You are in your own bedroom and you haven't even realized it right until now?
>Rainbow and Scarlet is quick to comply, sitting down on the middle of the bed.
 >You can't avoid seeing the twitches in their gait, probably because of the pain in their limbs thanks to the duel.
>Settling down in front of them, you just stare down at their smaller forms.
>For several long seconds nothing happens as they stare back up at you with their big, emotional eyes.
"...Fuck's sake..." you mutter and lean forward, hugging them both, "You are big dum-dums, both of you," you quietly tell them, but your tone of voice is loving.
>"So... you are not angry at us?" Rainbow asks, sounding surprised.
>"Twilight told us that you were... that you were raging?" Scarlet continues with the questions.
"She lied! This was her plan. I wanted to just talk to you right then and there in the hospital, but she told me that she can make both of you accept the other. I only needed to tell you... the thing I did," you sigh, a great pressure leaving you, like a boulder falling off your chest, "never again, I can't handle all these feels."
>Both mares remain silent for a few seconds, then they hug you back as best as they could.
>For a solid minute nothing is said, no noise is made.
>Then, Rainbow speaks up, breaking the silence.
>"Remember that spell which makes books fart at you?" she asks, leaning back, a wide smile spreading on her face.
>"What kind of spell makes a book fart at you? What?" Scarlet asks as she also leans back, a cute confused expression on her coltish face.
"Oh yes, took me almost two hours of stare battling with Luna to make her give me the scroll for that," you reply, fondly remembering that night in Canterlot, the challenge games you played with the Night Princess while literally everyone else was busy with some... gala or whatever.
>She's one chill pony, that's for sure.
>And once she drops formality, she's also quite playful!
>But damn, was it worth it to fall asleep with open eyes to get a magical scroll imbued with an ancient power...
>"You mean Princess Luna? /The/ Princess Luna?" Scarlet asks, her confusion growing in intensity, gaining a pinch of honest surprise.
>"Yeah, Anon and the Princess are big buds!" Rainbow grins, you could almost swear you can hear pride in her voice.
"Yepp. I still have that scroll somewhere around, so... I think it's time we have a nice bonding time with going to Twilight's library and enchant literally every book with the spell," you offer the plan.
>Naturally, Rainbow is ready to go, pumping her right forehoof in the air, although she does not jump up and away from you as she would: she is still hurt.
>"Huh. Okay, count me in," Scarlet shrugs, visibly just happy to be with you.
"Although... before any of that," you start talking, taking both of their attentions, "there is something else I want to ask you guys about."
>They look at you, then at each other.
>"What is it?" Rainbow ask unsurely.
"I have had a nice little chat with Fluttershy and... I know it's probably weird, at least it was weird for me, but... you guys know what a herd is?
>Both of them squee and basically tackle you in the same time, knocking the air out of you...

>...

>A very important conversation is ahead of you.
>You are Twilight Sparkle, and your friends need your help, help to understand how the male they both have their eyes on will not stand for their rivalry.
>Well, only Rainbow is your actual friend, but you can’t be biased to her side just because you’ve known her for longer.
>You speak a few words to Anon before entering the hospital room the two mares in question are located.
>You feel bad for him, the emotional pain is clearly present on his face, he doesn’t want to do this.
>However, you have to go through with your plan, it’s the only way… or so you told him.
>You could have used 17 other methods to solve this problem, but decided to go the blunt way, as blunt as Anon himself.
>With your bipedal friend left behind, you enter the room and are immediately welcomed by the sight of the two pegasus mares about to break down, tears collecting in the corner of their eyes.
>They are like colts now, getting all emotional… alas, your work needs to begin.
“Hello there,” you greet them after you are sure the door is closed behind you, “I think we, all three of us, need to talk.”
>They look at you, Scarlet sniffing, Rainbow wiping her eyes of the forming tears, waiting for you to continue.
“Good! I expect you know why this situation has happened the way it did, correct?” you ask them, switching in looking at one then the other.
>They both nod, you see Rainbow mareing up enough to concentrate on your words.
>”It happened because I was a wimp and couldn’t confess my love to him,” she tells you, trying to keep her expression neutral.
“That’s incorrect,” you tell her, shaking your head.
>”Was it because I acted too hastily and jumped at the first opportunity to escape my life in Manehattan?” Scarlet asks then, giving Rainbow no room to respond, however, you shake your head again.
“Also incorrect. In fact, the events that transpired, the hostility between you, the duel, ignoring Anon’s wish to stop, his fuming rage he was barely able to contain, all of these can be followed back to a quite specific point,” you explain and pause, waiting for them to ask what that point is.
>For a few seconds both of them just look at you, confused, then Rainbow takes the lead and asks you.
>”What… point?” She sounds more confused than hurt now, good.
“The point in time in which Anon agreed to come with us to the sight seeing trip to Manehattan. Why, you may ask? Simple. Anon is coming from a quite different culture, the males there are behaving like the females here and vice versa. He wasn’t interested in seeing Manehattan - from what he has told me before he actually grew up in one such city - but decided to go with us because he respects our wishes, accepts our feelings and can act in a selfless way many of us seem to often forget.”
>As you speak you notice how neither of the two pegasus follows everything you tell them.
>With a sigh you decide to summarize the things.
“Anon made a selfless sacrifice and was repaid by acts of selfishness and jealousy.”
>This, they understand.
>The two mares exchange looks, probably thinking about what they have done.
“Lucky for you, the solution is, and always was, right in front of you,” you continue, prompting them to ask about the solution.
>”Uh… what is it? I… don’t think I can fully understand this just yet,” Scarlet asks, sadly frowning.
>Rainbow nods in agreement, so you smile, knowing that you have already succeeded.
“You need to talk, girls. It is that simple. One of you begin and explain how they feel, what brought them to the point which made the duel possible,” you explain again, having trouble forcing your smug expression off of your face.
>”Oh… uhm.. Okay, I guess?... Do you want to begin?” Rainbow responds first, her offer to be the second proves to you that she gets it now.
>Scarlet’s expression changes, the hint of a smile appears on it.
>Your job here is done, the only thing you need to do is to sit back and listen.
>You spot an upturned chair in a corner, so you levitate it to you and sit down on it.
>Celestia damn it, it’s one really uncomfortable chair!

>...

>About twenty minutes later the two pegasus mares are hugging, apologizing for being idiots.
>You swear you can hear Rainbow whisper something like ‘no homo’ to Scarlet, to which she just snorts and chuckles.
>You realize, it’s time to initiate the second phase of your plan.
“Alright… it seems I will have to head out now, but before that, I need your help, girls,” you tell them, standing up and kicking the chair away.
>The chair flings into the same corner, upturned like the way you found it.
>Rainbow and Scarlet are intrigued by your words, looking at you as they settle back down in their respective beds after the slightly straining hug for which they both got out of the soft and comfortable lying place.
“I talked with Nurse Redheart and she said that both of you will be let go around tomorrow noon. But I want you to go to Anon’s house, I will be waiting there for you. You need to tell him that you have solved the problem within yourselves, and you need to disallow him from just leaving.”
>”Wait, do you want us to break into his house or something?” Rainbow asks, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.
“Yes.”
>”Alright, I’m in,” she shrugs.
>Looking at Scarlet you see her also shrug and nod.
“Excellent! Please make sure to get there in time. Until then, girls!” And with that, you leave them, hearing their goodbyes behind you.
>Everything is going according to the plan.

>...

>It’s been about an hour since Anon left, going towards Fluttershy’s cottage.
>He didn’t notice you, which was good, your plan could proceed without a single hiccup.
>Thankfully you don’t need to worry about Rainbow and Scarlet being late, they can fly just fine and darn you if you can say that they aren’t fast!
>As expected they show up shortly after noon, landing near you.
>Both of them are smiling now, you sense no hostility in them whatsoever.
“Hello there!” you greet them, smiling genuinely, “I don’t know how long we will have to wait until Anon returns, so we should probably get going,” you explain to them and with a flick of your horn, the lock on the front door of Anon’s house snaps and breaks into several pieces.
>Or rather, the door frame cracks, along with the lock.
>Maybe you have put too much power into that spell.
>Oh well.
>”Are you sure that was a good idea?” Rainbow asks, tilting her head as she stares at the busted door.
>”I think he will be mad,” Scarlet adds, shaking her head.
“Nah, it’s fine, Anon is a gentlestallion. I am fairly certain he won’t be troubled by such meaningless little things,” you respond and waltz in the house which looks and feels larger than it should be.
>”Alright, if you say so, Twilight,” Rainbow shrugs and follows you in.

>...

>The following hours are spent with quiet conversation between the three of you.
>You have had ample time to explain to your friends that they must show how sorry they are, that they want to make up for their wrong doings.
>After all was said and done a more casual chat took place, right until…
>With the noise of a wardrobe falling over, the door slams open: an enraged Anon appears, yelling at you!
>”Why did you break in my hou-oh hello Twilight. Rainbow, Scarlet… okay, what’s going on?” he asks, and you are barely able to contain your fright, feeling your heart beating in your throat…
>You did not expect him to appear in such a way, which makes you realize, you need to leave as soon as ponily possible.

>...

>Today was a good day.
>You solved a friendship/relationship issue all by yourself, probably making Cadence proud, won your bet with Applejack about Rainbow pushing her pride behind for her feelings, and now, at the end of the day, you can finally just go back home, pick a good book to read and relax.
>It was so nice of Spike to go out with you to that eatery, too.
>He was rather enthusiastic about trying all those fast foods you are quite fond of, although you aren’t exactly sure why was he sweating after eating the more spicy foods.
>He is a dragon, after all…
>Regardless, you are back, he is in your bedroom, getting ready to sleep, and you have nothing else to do but to relax.
>The shelves of your library are well organized, by topic, author and name.
>Everything is perfect.
>After a few minutes of content browsing, you find your book of choice and with it in your magical grasp, you head towards your bed.
>Settled down and comfy, you open your book.
>It lets out a long, quite pronounced fart.
“What on Starswirl’s beard?!” you gasp... only to retch as the noxious gas fills your lungs, mouth and nostrils.
>Spike suddenly pops his head above the bed, he’s been hiding somewhere, all along.
>He starts to giggle like the little colt he is, his claws trying to hold his mouth shut.
“Spike, what happened to this book?!” you demand, jumping out of your bed.
>”Oh, haha T-Twilight, I dunno, I guess you should check another book!” He continues to chuckle, pointing a claw towards the library.
>You let out a growl and gallop towards your beloved books.
>Taking off the first book from the closest shelf you open it.
>It farts onto your face, making you retch again and throw the disgusting piece of literature away.
>You pull another random book from a different shelf.
>It farts at you, too.
>You try another and another, your expression growing into a mixture of utter disgust and searing hot rage.
>Every single book is... is… enchanted with this malicious spell!
>You suddenly realize something.
“ANOOOOOOOOON!!”
>The only answers to your scream of rage are the farts of the books and the laughter of Spike as he rolls around on the floor…

The End.


Epilogue

>It’s been a little more than three months since the trip to Manehattan.
>You are Anon, husband of two lovely mares, living in Ponyville under the constant shadow of… Rainbow Dash’s cloud mansion.
>Soon after the events that transpired after the duel, Rainbow eagerly asked if she could anchor her house to yours.
>You didn’t have too much against the idea, however, as the months passed you realized how it must feel to be British in the Industrial Revolution.
>Your house receives minimal sunlight, but in exchange it’s always damp with the water the cloud mansion above seems to constantly leak.
>You /would/ have went up to fix it, but alas, you can’t interact with clouds.
>This, of course, led to arguments between you and Rainbow, ending with you walking away as you grumble to yourself.
>The water damage to your house requires your constant attention.
>This has led to that even in your dreams you are troubled.

>...

>You suddenly are.
>In a lovely, well lit and warm room, reminding you of your late grandma’s living room.
>You look around, wondering what exactly you are doing in this place, then notice a certain someone.
“Luna? It’s so good to see you!” you exclaim and walk/hover to your friend.
>”Anonymous! I hoped I could talk to you ‘off the clock’, however as it turns out, you actually need my help,” she explains, hugging you and patting your back.
>You hug her back, enjoying her hyper realistic touch, even though you exactly know that this is a dream.
“It’s about my house getting soaked 24/7, is it not?” you ask her, rolling your eyes.
>Luna lets go of you, just catching your reaction.
>”Yes, it is. Luckily I have a solution for you, although it might be difficult for you to achieve, given how you are… not exactly stallion-y,” she explains with a sad little smile on her face.
>Pony society have the gender roles all screwed up, you have learnt this long ago, but it still makes you feel uncomfortable from time to time.
>You pet Luna’s ethereal but silk-like to touch mane, then sigh, asking the obvious.
“Let me guess. It’s behaving like how a girl would to make Dash finally get her stormcloud of a house away from mine, isn’t it?” your resigned tone of voice tells Luna that you have already realized this, but had little intention on going through with it.
>”I’m afraid so,” she nods, pushing her head against your palm, “don’t worry though, she will go along with it if you try it once, I already left a subconscious message for her.”
>You raise an eyebrow before scratching behind Luna’s ears.
“Does it involve putting dream-Dash’s hoof into a cup of water?”
>”Maybe.”
>Both of you share a chuckle.
“Damn, I miss those weeks when we were always bunked up in the same room, travelling the country,” you reminiscent, a warm smile appearing on your face. “You were shorter and had no magic mane, remember?”
>Luna nods, those memories also fond to her.
>”Yes indeed, it was priceless to have a companion like you. However, that is in the past, your troubles are now. We can set up a not-dreamworld meeting at anytime, so yo-” she responds but you cut her off.
“Wait-wait-wait, you want to tell me, that… that we could have met at any given moment in the past several months? Why am I hearing this only now?” you feel a bit upset, spending quality time with Luna was your favourite thing after that crappy gala whatever, you convinced her to see the country, after all!
>”Uhmmm… yes,” she admits it, smiling sheepishly, “We have been quite busy back in Canterlot, you see, with royal duties and…”
“Stop bullshitting, you were working on the perfect prank. Wait, speaking of, remember that scroll of farting books I won from you?” you ask, you can’t be mad at her.
>”Yes, what about it?”
“Couple months ago we used it with the girls, every single book in Twilight’s library has been enchanted. The place smelled of farts for two weeks!” You grin, barely able to hold back your laughter.
>Luna stares at you with a serious expression… then bursts out laughing, rocking back and forth after quickly sitting down to not lose her balance.
>The rest of the dream is spent with swapping stories about things the two of you have done in the last few months - since the last time you have seen each other.

>...

>You wake up well rested and happy.
>You can still remember bits and pieces of your happy little reunion with Luna, so you are sure, it was really her.
>As you stir, you realize that Scarlet took the opportunity to climb atop you in her sleep, so you are trapped.
>Of course, you won’t allow that, but as you try to move your arms, you realize that your left arm is held tightly by Rainbow.
“Goddammit...” you mutter, officially stuck for who knows how long.
>After about ten minutes of staring a hole into the ceiling, you feel Dash starting to wake up.
>With a yawn, she opens her eyes, meeting yours.
>”Morning’...” she greets you with an adorable smile. “Uh… I-I need to use the toilet.”
>With that she climbs out of the bed as quickly as her groggy state allows her, and as it happens she accidentally pokes Scarlet’s side, waking her up.
>”Gnnhhh… what? Who?..” she asks, looking around, then down at you, “Oh hey… morning!” she greets you and plants a little kiss on your lips.
“Morning,” you kiss her back, and since you can freely move now, you do so, removing her from your chest, making her let out a sad little ‘aww’..
>It’s time to offer Rainbow your idea, after all.

>...

>Luna was right, it worked.
>You look up at the cloud mansion as it slowly drifts higher up and away.
>Your mares are on your sides, Scarlet looks content while Rainbow has an expression of mild disappointment on her face.
“I wouldn’t have ever been able to be in there, you know that,” you reassure her, to which she just sighs.
>”Yes, I know… no need to tell me…” She sighs again, “Let’s go, the girls are waiting,” she says then, poking her head towards the train station.
>Apparently the girls invited someone special to Ponyville, and as part of their group of friends, you were officially required to be around.
“Right, right,” you nod, taking one last look at your house as it finally breathes in relief for not getting the constant drizzle anymore.

>...

>As you arrive at the train station you notice that the rest of your group of friends is already there, chatting amongst themselves.
>Twilight seems to be in the center of course, looking rather excited, if her little jumps are anything of an indication.
“Care to tell me who we will meet?” you ask Rainbow, glancing at her as she lazily hovers on your right.
>”Nope! The train will arrive any second now anyway,” she replies, smirking.
>”I also want to know, Dashie,” Scarlet exclaims, using that adorable nickname she borrowed from Pinkie.
>”Nuh-huh. Not telling! I promised the girls I won’t!” she shakes her head and flies ahead, leaving you and Scarlet behind.
>You won’t stand for this insolence, so you quickly grab Scarlet and hold her close to your chest, your arms wrapped around her, her hind legs dangling down.
“Fine, don’t tell us!” you overly-dramatically yell after her, making her look back… and stop immediately, seeing what you are doing.
>You have learnt a few weeks ago that, despite being manly in your own, traditional sense, Dash very much loved upsies.
>”That’s not fair!” she cries out, crossing her arms before her chest.
“Life is not fair either,” you retort, however before Rainbow could reply, a sharp whistle sounds up.
>The train is here, slowing down to a halt.
>The rest of your friends see and greet you, motioning to you to quickly get over there.
>You decide to put Scarlet down, you can tell that she feels a bit embarrassed.
“Sorry I used you, sweetie,” you whisper to her.
>”No, no, it’s fine,” she kindly smiles, rubbing her muzzle against your right leg.
>Anoon! Anoon! Anooon! C’mooon, you don’t want to miss this, hurry!” Yells Pinkie Pie, hopping up and down.
>A few moments later you are by their side, on the platform.
“So, I will ask once again, who are we expecting to arrive?” you ask, looking at the overly excited Twilight and ever bouncing Pinkie, only for the train to stop and a door that just happened to be in front of your group, open up.
>For a moment nothing happens... then a dark blue blur jumps forward, tackling you right off your feet, knocking you back and onto the floor of the platform.
>”Surprise, Anonymous!” Luna yells into your face, grinning ear-to-ear.
“Jesus Christ, don’t scare me like that!..” you gasp, the air knocked out from you.
>You managed to fall on something soft, though, so you are fine.
>”Owwie…” you hear Pinkie from beneath you.
>You fell on Pinkie.

>...

>It’s interesting to see an entire town cheer and greet a single pony.
>True, it’s one of their princesses, but it still baffles you.
>After some discussion Luna decided to visit you in your home first, which led to your current situation.
>Eight ponies and you are sitting in your now rather cramped living room, idly chatting.
“So,” you take their attention, “Luna and I met in the dreamscape last night, and right now she’s here… what’s the… occasion? Reason? Explanation?” you ask, slowly glancing around at your friends.
>”Aw, don’t try to find an explanation for everything, Anon. I am here to enjoy your company! Also, I finally managed to beg a couple vacation days from my dear sister, that also serves as a reason,” Luna explains, wrapping her right wing around you.
>She is one of the few ponies who can actually do that.
“Huh. I see. So… what’s the catch? Am I going to get pranked at every step now?” you ask cautiously, looking into her blue eyes.
>”Maybe,” Luna grins mischievously.
>Everyone starts to giggle
“What am I getting myself into…”

[Actual End]