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- Chris: I had cancer when I was 18!
- Gwen: Ah, fascinating.
- Heather: [Scurries frantically around the island.] I sued my bartender.
- Chris: Half of you will become Skittles!
- Jô: The fuck?
- Chris: Heather, Gwen, DJ, Lindsay, Brick, Trent, Dakota, Owen & Courtney. You guys are now skittles.
- Heather: Ah Jesus.
- Lindsay: Ah, that's nice!
- Heather: I wanna watch Oobi.
- Chris: Now the rest of you will become Roland Barretts! Duncan, Jô, Ezekiel, Zoey, Izzy, Geoff, LeShawna, Cody & Bridgette.
- Jô: We'll be a band of thugs!
- Duncan: I shoved Sierra up my ass; that's why she's not competing.
- LeShawna: Oh man, my back is aching.
- Jô: Wanna suck a cow's dick? (If you say no, I'll impale your respiratory system.)
- Chris: [Pulls out easy button and pushes it]
- Button: That was easy.
- Bridgette: Aw, how cute! That's better than me fucking nine immigrants across the border!
- Chris: Hope you had fun!
- Cody: [sneezes]
- Gwen: Bless you.
- Duncan: hahaha He's already sneezing.
- Chris: I'm going to make a fisherman's trio with Special Agent Oso.
- Lindsay: Wow is that legal?
- Heather: Totally! (I like biting into Four Locos bottles with my teeth.)
- Izzy: Wohooo let's go tubing!
- Heather: Vote Donte Garcia for president!
- LeShawna: Yes! He's better than his whore sister Patricia!
- Heather: Yeah, Patricia is problematic.
- LeShawna: Let's cut to the chase. (Ohhhh, my head is on fire, but my legs are fine!)
- Chris: I'm currently listening to C'mon (Catch 'em By Surprise) by Tiesto vs. Diplo ft. Busta Rhymes! Good song!
- Zoey: Hello, companion!
- Ezekiel: [Feeling melancholy] Ah crap, a girl is talking to me already.
- LeShawna: (Maurice shouldn't have left the Kids Next Door.)
- Duncan: (Hahahahaha I have to give him credit for saying something most OTHER guys find themselves saying.)
- Chris: Diplo also puts the "pro" in procreating!
- Geoff: Riiiiii-colaaaaaa!
- Bridgette: Oh, that commercial.
- Geoff: (I wanna go to Casa Bonita.)
- Chris: Now I'm off to cure cancer.
- Lindsay: (I can lift the entire Denver Broncos!)
- Chris: All done!
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