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Total Drama Chapter 1

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Jan 6th, 2018
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  1. Chris: I had cancer when I was 18!
  2.  
  3. Gwen: Ah, fascinating.
  4.  
  5. Heather: [Scurries frantically around the island.] I sued my bartender.
  6.  
  7. Chris: Half of you will become Skittles!
  8.  
  9. Jô: The fuck?
  10.  
  11. Chris: Heather, Gwen, DJ, Lindsay, Brick, Trent, Dakota, Owen & Courtney. You guys are now skittles.
  12.  
  13. Heather: Ah Jesus.
  14.  
  15. Lindsay: Ah, that's nice!
  16.  
  17. Heather: I wanna watch Oobi.
  18.  
  19. Chris: Now the rest of you will become Roland Barretts! Duncan, Jô, Ezekiel, Zoey, Izzy, Geoff, LeShawna, Cody & Bridgette.
  20.  
  21. Jô: We'll be a band of thugs!
  22. Duncan: I shoved Sierra up my ass; that's why she's not competing.
  23. LeShawna: Oh man, my back is aching.
  24. Jô: Wanna suck a cow's dick? (If you say no, I'll impale your respiratory system.)
  25.  
  26. Chris: [Pulls out easy button and pushes it]
  27.  
  28. Button: That was easy.
  29.  
  30. Bridgette: Aw, how cute! That's better than me fucking nine immigrants across the border!
  31.  
  32. Chris: Hope you had fun!
  33.  
  34. Cody: [sneezes]
  35. Gwen: Bless you.
  36. Duncan: hahaha He's already sneezing.
  37.  
  38. Chris: I'm going to make a fisherman's trio with Special Agent Oso.
  39.  
  40. Lindsay: Wow is that legal?
  41. Heather: Totally! (I like biting into Four Locos bottles with my teeth.)
  42.  
  43. Izzy: Wohooo let's go tubing!
  44.  
  45. Heather: Vote Donte Garcia for president!
  46. LeShawna: Yes! He's better than his whore sister Patricia!
  47. Heather: Yeah, Patricia is problematic.
  48. LeShawna: Let's cut to the chase. (Ohhhh, my head is on fire, but my legs are fine!)
  49.  
  50. Chris: I'm currently listening to C'mon (Catch 'em By Surprise) by Tiesto vs. Diplo ft. Busta Rhymes! Good song!
  51.  
  52. Zoey: Hello, companion!
  53. Ezekiel: [Feeling melancholy] Ah crap, a girl is talking to me already.
  54. LeShawna: (Maurice shouldn't have left the Kids Next Door.)
  55. Duncan: (Hahahahaha I have to give him credit for saying something most OTHER guys find themselves saying.)
  56.  
  57. Chris: Diplo also puts the "pro" in procreating!
  58.  
  59. Geoff: Riiiiii-colaaaaaa!
  60. Bridgette: Oh, that commercial.
  61. Geoff: (I wanna go to Casa Bonita.)
  62.  
  63. Chris: Now I'm off to cure cancer.
  64.  
  65. Lindsay: (I can lift the entire Denver Broncos!)
  66.  
  67. Chris: All done!
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