anomaly

Dude, you brought scotch? That’s awesome. I’m gonna need it.

 Man, I gotta get this off my chest. You don’t know how it feels. The night shift, man. Every time I enter that elevator and go downstairs, I get a bigass knot in my stomach. Like when you have to give a presentation you didn’t prepare for, or you see something shady going on as you’re walking the streets. It doesn’t feel good. Y’know, they put a little note in the handbook they give ya when you get the job, saying that you shouldn’t eat before or during your shift.  I dunno what they tell you topside guys, but I bet you don’t have to deal with this, do ya?

My second night, I ignored that little note and ate some gumbo with cornbread before I came in for work. Now, you might think that’s a big mistake. But it was actually two mistakes, I tell ya.

Because the microwaved gumbo  comes back. It’s sour, man. When I was on the elevator and the gumbo juice came back up and I felt it sloshing around my teeth, it tasted like shit! It felt like my stomach was melting from the inside. Not fun.

Last night was different, though. I came in, and the robot voice guy came on. He told me I was gonna do some maintenance work over in the Funtime auditorium  and that everyone had been deactivated before I came in, and… well,  I’m not supposed to tell you the rest of this stuff, but it’s okay. You’re at my house, and I don’t think anyone’s watching. Just don’t go blabbing to your other pals. Another shot?

Okay. So he’s all  “Alright man now you gotta go maintain Ballora, she’s in the storage room”. I was like, yo what’s up with that? I mean, you’ve seen Ballora. Nobody would complain about maintaining Ballora if she was knocked out. But Ballora’s in Ballora Gallery. It’s why they call it Ballora Gallery and not Freddy Gallery.

But y’know what? Handunit’s never led me wrong before. I’m not joking. He saved my ass on my second night, when he rebooted the systems and shut the vents before Foxy got inside. So when he tells me to go to the auditorium, I go to the auditorium. I flick my light around, Foxy’s on stage. It’s all good. Handunit’s never wrong.

But then he goes “Actually, she’s in the scooping room” at which point I’m a little weirded out. I mean, I didn’t even think I was authorized to go in there… Man, this stuff really hits the spot, you want more?

Oh. You sure you’ve had enough? Oh, the diet. I forgot.

Anyways, I walk in there, the scooping room. Man, it’s messed up. And then the doors close behind me, like outta some horror movie,  and it’s at this point that I….





“Smash your fucking face in.” Arnold grabbed the bottle by it’s neck and swung it into Andy’s face. The force of impact shattered glass and bone alike, as the burning liquid seeped into open flesh wounds. As Andy began choking , Arnold stood up..

Arnold’s trenchcoat rippled and undulated.

“Why did you do that?”, asked Ballora. “Why would anyone say such a terrible thing?”

“Jeez, Baby, that’s a little too much, don’t ya think?” Freddy asked.

Part of Andy’s jaw began hanging, his eyebrows raised in shock. That reminded Paddy too much of his past for comfort. Of when he was scooped. So Arnold walked to the other side of the room, where the kitchen was located.

“Shut up,” said Baby. “ I have a plan.”

Arnold rummaged through drawers, his fingers flicking at superhuman speed, until he found it. His fingers wrapped around it, and he walked back to Andy.

Andy had stood up, his hand clasped to what was left of his mouth as blood and shards slid between the fingers. He never had time to see the cleaver swinging at his throat. Andy was thrown back onto his chair, as Arnold’s body  pinned him down. Muscle was stronger than fat. This was scientific fact.

Tentacles ripped through Arnold’s jacket as Andy’s neck gushed red. They coiled around his neck, as the cleaver began to reach bone. Some glass oozed out of the esophagus. Arnold kept swinging, as the thick, probing wires had wound themselves in Andy’s hair. Arnold dropped the cleaver, and his hands fell to his side. The tentacles tugged a little, and Andy’s head came off like a lobster’s claw.

“Arnie was getting too talky, and Andy was getting too suspicious. Arnie isn’t very good at playing pretend,” said Baby.

“And don’t forget that Arnold’s too small for all seven of us,” said Paddy. He didn’t like speaking much, but felt an explanation was owed on the part of him and Baby, as they were the ones who controlled Ennard more often than not.

“Seven of us?”, asked Bonnie.

“What, you thought Arnold was going to just up and die on us when we found someone else?” Baby said. She was bit more sarcastic than usual.
“Arnold’s gonna be with us for a long time,”  said Paddy. The wires bore into the bleeding stump that was once Andy’s neck, and began digging. More wires emerged from Arnold’s chest, drenched in red. Some wrapped around Arnold’s neck to cut off circulation, while others converged to form a firm grip on the bloodied cleaver and lift it up easier.

“Arnold was just the best opportunity with what we had. Gullible, easy prey.” said Baby.

“But he was nice enough to give us a hiding spot... “ said Ballora.

True, Baby thought. Man is the warmest place to hide.