Paavo vs. Google

5:32 PM <paavo> dear god
5:32 PM <paavo> google is a fucking monster
5:32 PM <paavo> so quick update on my phone situation...
5:32 PM <paavo> i broke my iphone
5:32 PM <shinybro_> cool
5:32 PM <paavo> it had all my 2fa shit
5:32 PM <paavo> so i cant access my gmail
5:32 PM <paavo> anyways
5:33 PM <paavo> i log into a different gmail account and order a nexus 5
5:33 PM <paavo> enter in all the stupid payment shit
5:33 PM <paavo> no problem
5:33 PM <shinybro_> you didn't back up ur stuff?
5:33 PM <paavo> its on authy
5:33 PM <paavo> i just need a new phone
5:33 PM <paavo> ANYWAYS
5:33 PM ⇐ utfib quit ([email protected]) Read error: Connection reset by peer
5:33 PM <paavo> so i go to log into the account i ordered my nexus on
5:34 PM <paavo> to see where it is
5:34 PM <paavo> shipping tracker whatever
5:34 PM <paavo> and MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN DISABLED
5:34 PM <aabtc> ooh
5:34 PM <aabtc> did u try calling support
5:34 PM <paavo> lmfao
5:34 PM <paavo> OH BOY
5:34 PM <paavo> FUCKING GOOGLE MONSTER HAS NO SUPPORT
5:34 PM <aabtc> ¯\(°_o)/¯
5:35 PM <aabtc> jeez paavo, no phone, bitcoin down 60%
5:35 PM <aabtc> this is a bad year
5:35 PM <trixisowned> ahahaha
5:35 PM <paavo> HOW CAN GOOGLE HAVE NO LIVE SUPPORT
5:35 PM <trixisowned> just kill yourself already
5:35 PM <trixisowned> you have hit rock bottom
5:35 PM <paavo> WHAT IN THE FUCK
5:35 PM <aabtc> >_> ok no paavo don't kurt cobain out
5:35 PM <paavo> its a sign i shouldnt have a google phone
5:35 PM <aabtc> what do u mean they dont have support
5:35 PM <trixisowned> but really it doesnt make any sense that google doesnt have phone support
5:35 PM <shinybro_> too stronk
5:36 PM <paavo> aabtc i double dog dare you to find a support chatroom/phone number/anything
5:36 PM <paavo> where you can talk to a HUMAN BEING
5:36 PM <aabtc> im pretty sure i had a prolonged support convo with them
5:36 PM <paavo> seriously go find one
5:36 PM <paavo> 1. YOU HAVE TO LOGIN TO TALK
5:36 PM <aabtc> guess u'll have to make a new account?
5:36 PM <paavo> AFTER THEY DISABLE UR ACCOUNT
5:37 PM <paavo> LMAO
5:37 PM <paavo> dude i see now
5:37 PM <paavo> revelations was right
5:37 PM <paavo> autonomous corportations with no human support
5:39 PM <paavo> i seriously ordered it and 0 problems it said everything was gravy thanks for the order
5:39 PM <aabtc> sooo
5:39 PM <aabtc> r u still getting ur phone?
5:39 PM <paavo> idk
5:39 PM <aabtc> but u cant track it?
5:39 PM <paavo> I DONT KNOW
5:40 PM <paavo> literally its a black hole
5:40 PM <paavo> i want to nuke everything
5:40 PM <paavo> if google was an ant i would get a machine that made it dog sized so i could beat it ruthlessly with a baseball bat
5:41 PM <TheMediator> lol
5:41 PM <TheMediator> I like that metaphor
5:41 PM <aabtc> https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/183733?hl=en
5:41 PM <TheMediator> I'm gonna use that later
5:41 PM → utfib joined ([email protected])
5:42 PM <paavo> so aabtc... how again can i confirm or deny if the purchase went through
5:42 PM <paavo> literally nothing
5:42 PM <aabtc> well get ur email back first?
5:42 PM ⇐ therein quit ([email protected]) Quit: My MacBook Pro has gone to sleep. ZZZzzz…
5:43 PM <paavo> it was a semi-throwaway account
5:43 PM <paavo> and its asking for the exact date i created it
5:43 PM <paavo> like 2 years ago? idfk
5:43 PM <aabtc> well just fill it out anyways
5:43 PM <paavo> and 4 people who have emailed me
5:43 PM <paavo> (constantly in communication with)
5:43 PM <paavo> it was an email for spam
5:43 PM <paavo> I DID
5:43 PM <paavo> it said SORRY INFO NOT MATCHED
5:44 PM <paavo> its the most fucked thing ive ever encountered
5:44 PM <paavo> so... i think im going to have to create another account
5:44 PM <paavo> and order one
5:44 PM <paavo> itll probably block that one too
5:44 PM <paavo> and then charge me for two phones
5:45 PM <paavo> im so fucking angry
5:45 PM <paavo> whats a good nexus alternative
5:45 PM <aabtc> lol call their hq 1 650 253 0000
5:45 PM <shinybro_> none now
5:46 PM <shinybro_> nexus has always been the best hardware and software wise
New messages since you tabbed out
5:46 PM <paavo> yeah i 100% garantee its an automated siri that answers the phone
5:47 PM <paavo> aabtc its seriously a monster
5:47 PM <paavo> 666
5:47 PM <trixisowned> lol automated siri
5:47 PM <aabtc> jeeez paavo, didn't realize u just wanted to menstruate about it
5:47 PM <paavo> im literally phoneless
5:47 PM <paavo> i have a serious job
5:48 PM <shinybro_> trapfone
5:48 PM <paavo> i need a fucking phone
5:48 PM <paavo> and so now its going to be even longer without one
5:48 PM <aabtc> yo just bug them
5:49 PM <aabtc> like call everyone and ask to speak to the dude in charge
5:49 PM <aabtc> or menstruate on IRC, whichever is more fun
5:49 PM ⇐ utfib quit ([email protected]) Ping timeout: 240 seconds
5:50 PM <aabtc> maybe ask whitehouse for manpads <3
5:50 PM <paavo> aabtc r u retarded
5:50 PM <aabtc> *high fives paavo*
5:51 PM <aabtc> no, ur the one who ordered several hundred dollars worth of phone on a spam account
5:51 PM <ppvkignx> nexus sucks anyway
5:51 PM <ppvkignx> get a good phone instead
5:51 PM <ppvkignx> like a lumia
5:52 PM → therein joined ([email protected])
5:52 PM <paavo> god
5:52 PM <paavo> ur probably a microsoft idiot
5:52 PM <paavo> what fucking loser can even anvigate microsoft
5:53 PM <paavo> *navigate
5:53 PM <ppvkignx> i have a nexus 4
5:55 PM <paavo> does lumia use androiud
5:55 PM <trixisowned> ya
5:55 PM <paavo> LMFAO
5:55 PM <paavo> SO NOW
5:55 PM → oldbluepaint joined (b8235e26@gateway/web/cgi-irc/kiwiirc.com/ip.184.35.94.38)
5:55 PM <paavo> i try to create a new account
5:55 PM <paavo> .... PLEASE VERIFY
5:55 PM <paavo> USING A PHONE
5:56 PM <trixisowned> omg shut up and get a lg g2
5:56 PM <ppvkignx> just be happy google saved you from buying that piece of shit
5:56 PM <trixisowned> what was he gonna buy
5:56 PM <trixisowned> the nexus
5:57 PM <ppvkignx> ya
5:57 PM <trixisowned> ya fuck that
5:57 PM <trixisowned> get the g2
5:57 PM <trixisowned> or a s5
5:57 PM <trixisowned> you idiot
5:57 PM <ppvkignx> anything else, really
5:57 PM <trixisowned> ^
5:57 PM <trixisowned> s4
5:57 PM <trixisowned> g flex
5:57 PM <trixisowned> so many options
5:57 PM <paavo> i want something with a good camera
5:57 PM <paavo> and sturdy
5:57 PM <paavo> not fucking pastic
5:57 PM <paavo> *plastic
5:57 PM <aabtc> thats what she.. nvm
5:57 PM <aesu> plastic is pretty strudy
5:58 PM <aesu> excellent tensile properties
5:58 PM <paavo> you fucking assholes
5:58 PM <trixisowned> all those i listed
5:58 PM <trixisowned> are fab
5:58 PM <aesu> perfect for protecting a device from drops
5:58 PM <ppvkignx> lumia has basically the best camera
5:58 PM <ppvkignx> it sounds like you'd like
5:58 PM <trixisowned> g2 is what i would get
5:58 PM <aesu> cheaply replaced
5:58 PM <ppvkignx> it
5:58 PM <paavo> lumia is windows
5:58 PM <aesu> cameras a re all much the same amongst the top tier phones
5:58 PM <aesu> lumia phones are lovely
5:58 PM <aesu> but windows
5:58 PM <aesu> getting there
5:58 PM <aesu> apps still lack
5:58 PM <paavo> lol
5:58 PM <paavo> LOL
5:58 PM <trixisowned> windows sucks
5:59 PM <aesu> and loicked out of googles silky ecosystem
5:59 PM <paavo> windows is the republican os
5:59 PM <ppvkignx> wp8 only shares a name with windows btw
5:59 PM <aesu> galaxy note, if you want big
5:59 PM <trixisowned> for phones
5:59 PM <aesu> or nexus 5 if not
5:59 PM <trixisowned> i mean
5:59 PM <trixisowned> durp
5:59 PM <paavo> lol aesu
5:59 PM <trixisowned> https://coinsfortech.com/shop/lg-g2-4g-lte-32gb/
5:59 PM <trixisowned> is this site a scam
5:59 PM <paavo> smh
5:59 PM <trixisowned> lol
5:59 PM <paavo> aesu missed the whole deal
5:59 PM <aesu> lol
5:59 PM <aesu> what you buying?
6:00 PM <paavo> AGHHHHHH
6:00 PM <trixisowned> we telling him not to get a nexus
6:00 PM <trixisowned> cuz of how much trouble he is having
6:00 PM <trixisowned> right now
6:00 PM <ppvkignx> http://www.nokia.com/us-en/phones/phone/lumia1020/
6:00 PM <paavo> i want everything to die
6:00 PM <trixisowned> its obviously a sign
6:00 PM <trixisowned> god that limia is gay
6:00 PM <trixisowned> ew
6:00 PM <ppvkignx> wow such a hater
6:00 PM <trixisowned> thats the gayest shit
6:00 PM <trixisowned> omg
6:00 PM <trixisowned> its yellow
6:00 PM <trixisowned> is yours yellow
6:09 PM <paavo> i just want the fucking nexus
6:09 PM <trixisowned> lg g2 has better hardware
6:09 PM <aesu> ppv how is nexus 5 trash?
6:09 PM <aesu> its a great phone
6:09 PM <paavo> but you literally HAVE TO HAVE A GOOGLE ACCOUNT
6:09 PM <ppvkignx> because of how they distribute everything as googleapps and have special requirements
6:09 PM <non2> yes but for *2 in usd
6:09 PM <trixisowned> g2 is better
6:09 PM <trixisowned> why get a nexus when you can get a g2
6:09 PM <aesu> paavo get a fucking google account
6:09 PM → yolobear joined (~yolobear@2602:306:35cd:6a00:d2b:47ac:2a5f:c873)
6:09 PM <paavo> lmao
6:09 PM <non2> because 300?
6:09 PM <paavo> i have 2
6:09 PM <trixisowned> who cares
6:09 PM <paavo> one is locked out cuz 2fa
6:09 PM <trixisowned> he is bitcoin rich
6:09 PM <aesu> WELL< YOU DONT HAVE A PROBLEM
6:10 PM <trixisowned> he can buy expensive coffee drinks every day
6:10 PM <paavo> and the other one is disabled for no reason AFTER i ordered
6:10 PM <trixisowned> if he wanted to
6:10 PM ⇐ Aquent quit (~Aquent@gateway/tor-sasl/aquent) Ping timeout: 272 seconds
6:10 PM <paavo> so it probably wasnt actually purchased
6:10 PM <aesu> theyre trivial to acuire
6:10 PM <aesu> i have 12k
6:10 PM <trixisowned> lol @ because $300
6:10 PM <trixisowned> implying that is anything
6:10 PM <trixisowned> for a phone
6:10 PM <trixisowned> durp
6:10 PM <paavo> aesu did you know to sign up for a new google account you HAVE to have a phone
6:11 PM <trixisowned> yeah
6:11 PM <paavo> its impossible without one
6:11 PM <trixisowned> they verify via text
6:11 PM <paavo> so im fucked
6:11 PM <aesu> lmao
6:11 PM <paavo> google is the new government
6:11 PM <aabtc> paavo: u dont have a single friend in the world with a phone?
6:11 PM <paavo> 666
6:11 PM <aesu> you have to have a phone number
6:11 PM <trixisowned> wat
6:11 PM <trixisowned> you cant just like
6:11 PM <paavo> im hom ealone and my phone is broken
6:11 PM <aabtc> no one at all that you know with a phone number?
6:11 PM <trixisowned> connect the google verify to any number
6:11 PM <trixisowned> lol
6:11 PM <paavo> how can i call someone
6:11 PM <ppvkignx> if only he used facebook
6:11 PM <aabtc> 6:11 PM <paavo> how can i call someone
6:12 PM <aabtc> really???
6:12 PM <paavo> no body uses facebook anymore
6:12 PM <trixisowned> how is paavo gonna find someone with a smartphone
6:12 PM <trixisowned> WITHOUT google
6:12 PM <aabtc> u dont know ANYONE?
6:12 PM <trixisowned> lol
6:12 PM <trixisowned> aabtc ^
6:12 PM <paavo> SURE ILL BE THE HOMELESS JEW WHO ASKS RANDO ON THE STREET TO BORROW PHONE FOR 2fa
6:12 PM <trixisowned> ahahah
6:12 PM <aabtc> dont ur parents have a phone??
6:12 PM <trixisowned> seriously wat
6:12 PM Aquent_ → Aquent
6:12 PM <aabtc> neighbor??
6:12 PM <paavo> parents?
6:12 PM <trixisowned> yall are nuts
6:12 PM <paavo> my parents are dead
6:12 PM <trixisowned> wat
6:12 PM <trixisowned> are you 12
6:12 PM <paavo> no joke
6:12 PM <aabtc> u dont have parents either? well fuck paavo
6:12 PM <trixisowned> what is happening
6:12 PM <trixisowned> in this irc
6:12 PM <paavo> google is a monster
6:12 PM <paavo> 666
6:12 PM <paavo> all is lost
8:02 PM <paavoattheatntst> Ive been here fir 2 hours
8:02 PM <paavoattheatntst> Fuck
8:02 PM <paavoattheatntst> Why does god hate me
8:03 PM <paavoattheatntst> I have forsaken google