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- Brew of Life
- > Deep within a dark forest lies a peaceful meadow
- > In the center of this wide grassy field stands a mighty tree
- > For nearly a century it has resided here
- > It has seen drought, flood, disease, fire, and plenty of animals
- > The top predator here however isn't a wolf or dog but a cat
- > Halfway up the trunk in a hollow lies a lean black cat
- > He's lived in this tree for nearly half of his nine lives
- > Squirrels, birds, field mice, and even some raccoons have been his prey
- > But, for the last few years another source of food has arrived for this predator
- > Fluffy Ponies
- > At first they were few in number
- > The cat tried to scare them away, but they kept returning
- > "How naive these fluffies are" pondered the cat
- > "Yet they are so tasty, and easy to catch..."
- > The fluffies did not know the cat resided in the very tree they slept beneath
- > For a year fluffies struggled
- > Sleeping in the open as a large pile was their only means of keeping warm
- > Disease spread when "bad poopies" happened and the population was decimated
- > Just as the cat thought these things couldn't get any dumber they got smarter
- > After nearly a year of trial and error the fluffies had figured out how to burrow
- > Watching the "wittow nu fwuffy taiw fwiends" dig their homes gave them insperation
- > Slow going and painful the burrowing with padded hooves took a long time
- > Several poor designs ending with drowning, cave ins, and becoming trapped in the earth eventually paid off
- > By the end of the second winter each fluffy was holed up and warm in their snuggly dens
- > The cat watched this whole time
- > Occasionally playing with the fluffies who, he found, were totally defenseless
- > Foals swatted, large fluffies jumped on and rolled, others kicked and bitten
- > The fluffies were terrified each time the "kitteh munstah" showed up
- > A few met their end at his paws, but the cat wasn't interested in the smelly creatures with tasty mice around
- > But then, something strange happened
- > An old fluffy appeared one day
- > The cat knew he was older, larger, and stronger than these weak fluffies
- > But, he was not afraid of this newcomer
- > Easily besting the graying fluffy the cat watched as it retreated back to the woods
- > Like the naive fluffies before it the old fluff came back
- > "Fool, I'll kill you this time old geezer"
- > The young strong cat was about to strike when he noticed something in the fluffies mouth
- > A recently deceased mouse was hanging by it's tail
- > "Fwuffy haff gift fow kitteh, kitteh be nice an good, an fwuffies giff kitteh food"
- > The cat was reluctant but took the easy meal over fighting again
- > So began a cycle
- > The cat avoided the fluffies, rather easily too, but was given their dead
- > Eventually the fluffies developed a sort of religion for solving problems out of their control
- > Which was nearly everything
- > The life span of the fluffies exploded (figuratively)
- > Now, 1 in 100 fluffies reach the age of 4 and begin to gray
- > In the present day there are about 6 gray fluffies lead by the only surviving gray unicorn
- > He is red mane and blue fluff streaked with gray
- > His faded fluff floats lightly through the air as he walks
- > Thinner, less fluffy, and weaker than the more virulent stallions in the herd he is still smarty
- > Though no one calls him that
- > He's "Gway fwuff" like all the other gray fluffies
- > There is however a smarty standing before him
- > A young strong unicorn with yellow fluff and a lime green mane
- > "Dis smawtyss wand now! Yuu owd fwuffies weave ow get big owies!"
- > The old fluff speaks more quietly than his young counterpart
- > "Dis pwace big enouff foh aww fwuffies... Smawty wan join hewd..."
- > "NUU! Smawty onwy smawty! Nuu join hewd! Yuu join smawties hewd ow giff biggest owies!"
- > The strong earth fluffies flanking him puff their cheeks and stomp the ground
- > Behind the gray fluff sits his herd
- > The younger fluffies cry and beg their oldest daddeh to not get hurt
- > The adults know he will be fine
- > "Otay... Smawty iss most smawty an we join smawty hewd..."
- > The smarty smiles and stands up looking down at the older smaller fluffy
- > "Hmm! Das mow wike it! Now giff hewd nummies an mawes! Nee giff speciaw huggies an make bebbehs!"
- > The gray fluff bows his head
- > "Hewd wiww giff pawty tuu smawty an fwiends, haff yummy nummies, pway, den get speciaw huggies..."
- > The fluff eyes a few mares nearby and the stallion looks on at his soon to be mates
- > He's practically drooling
- > The mares in the tree herd are much more clean and healthy than the raggedy and flea bitten ferals from the forest
- > "G..good! Smawty gon get nummies den wan giff speciaw huggies to dat giwl!"
- > He points at Rosy, recently married to Buzzy who hugs his mate crying
- > The young stallion cannot fight, he's already been defeated when his leader gave over the herd
- > "Nuu... Wowsy... Wuv Wowsy... Buzzeh giff speciaw hugs... nuu meanie giff speciaw hugs..."
- > The two cry and hug as the gray fluff lead their new leaders to the dirt clearing for a feast
- > "Smawty.. fwuffies eat hewe... nuu buggies.. nuu meanie twee fwuffies.. safe fow pawty..."
- > The smarty nods and sits closest to the tree
- > "Giff nummies! NOAW! Fwuffy hewd haff tummy huwties! Nee wossa nummies!"
- > The tree fluffies drag leaf after leaf covered with delicious mush berries towards the occupying herd
- > "Dese nummies stwange! What dey?"
- > Another gray fluff a totally pure white pegasus speaks
- > She's the oldest of all the current gray fluffs
- > "De.eese nubb..ies aw ca.awed siwwy numbi.eess..."
- > "Why dey siwwy?"
- > The smarty is lightly sniffing the piles
- > "Deah siwwy be.caubes deh giff goouudd siwwy feeww"
- > The old mare eats a few of the berries as the smarty watches
- > She becomes woozy and sits on her bottom with a little "oof!"
- > "See *hic* smawty? Dese nummbies awe*hic*ee suu siwwy! Dey bestest numbiehs..*hic*.."
- > Convinced they are edible the herd's smarty and his toughy friends eat first taking a large bite
- > His hungry mares and weak stallions watch on expectantly
- > At least they'll get to eat before the rest of their new friends
- > Or so they think
- > The gray stallion speaks before the smarty and his friends swallow
- > "Smawty... dese siwwy nummies wowk best... if you eat dem swowweh..."
- > Convinced the stallions chew slowly and enjoy the flavor of each bite
- > After eating a pile of berries each the smarty and his stallions are obscenely drunk
- > "Deeehss numbbbhiiesss awww siwwwwieeehh! *hic* Heeah heeah!"
- > Wobbling on their legs, then falling over slowly running in place drunk as a skunk
- > This doesn't last long and soon the fluffies feeling violently ill
- > "Oh! Oughh! Aaaougghh! Why tummbeh hwuwties?! Ooooohhhhhhhurk... ULP! Nu-!BLEAGGHHHHH!"
- > The stallions begin vomiting their mares and friends terrified try to hug the pain away
- > "Nuu! TUMMY HUWTY! HUWWWEEELEAAAGHHH!"
- > The friends quickly give up after being coated in vomit and other fluids leaking out of the scared fluffies
- > They have never been this sick in their lives
- > Fear shit and urine flows freely as their bodies try desperately to expel the toxins
- > But, because they consumed the large quantity too slowly toxins entered their blood
- > The fluffies are doomed
- > Fat tears roll down their faces as they wail for help
- > The first fluffy passes on, his eyes now hollow and still full of tears
- > The mares are inconsolable and their friends are terrified now pooping themselves with fear
- > "NUUU! Why smawty haff huwties? Nuu wan huwties! Hewp! Hewp!"
- > Without attracting attention the tree herd withdraws to their burrows
- > The adults all know what happens next
- > Only the occupying herd sits in the dirt clearing unaware their hosts have retreated to safety
- > Still screaming and crying as stallions are dying
- > Unable to look up and see in the hollow of the tree
- > A pair of glowing yellow eyes watching
- > Awoken by the commotion the cat was going to teach the little fluffies what-for
- > But, these fluffies are gifts
- > All fluffies left in the dirt before his home are gifts
- > Fluffies living beneath the tree learn this fast, lest they lose their foals who play anywhere
- > These terrified tributes don't stand a chance
- > And, have only begun to feel terror
- > Barreling down the tree the cat slams into a dam latching onto her neck, digging claws into face and back
- > "NUUUUUUU! MUMMAH SCAWED HEWWWWP! HEEEE-urk!"
- > The cat leaps off the dead dam and is upon another fluffy before it even knows what has happened
- > He's having more fun than ever
- > Like a young kitten playing with his brothers and sisters he gleefully assaults the herd
- > As they flee the fluffies beneath the tree watch the black kitteh munsta chase down the slower mares and stallions
- > Only a few dams are still sitting in the dirt
- > Well, only a few dams are still alive sitting in the dirt
- > The gray fluff knows he has plenty of time to move the bodies and clean the clearing
- > "Yuu mummahs wan join ow hewd... youw hewd gowne... kitteh muntah nuu huwties ouw hewd..."
- > Most refuse still begging their smarty laying at their feet to give biggest owies to the bad fluffies
- > They are left for the cat
- > This grim charade takes place nearly every time a smarty appears
- > Toughy friends have hurt fluffies in the past taking wifeys from husbans and mommahs from foals
- > Keeping rivals away was always a hard fight
- > And this herd doesn't like to fight
- > They do however like special hugs, grass, silly berries, flowers, foals, and parties
- > Oh how they love parties
- > Anyway
- > As stallions and attendants drag the corpses to the forest beyond the meadow the cat returns
- > He confidently walks by the shivering fluffies to the gray unicorn standing firm and still
- > Purring the cat rubs along and around the old fluff who brings him these fun meals
- > "Teehee fankoo kitteh, hewd bwing mowe nummies watew, otay?"
- > The cat satisfied with the recent carnage and full decides to take a nap
- > Scaling the tree in less than two seconds the fluffies watch in awe
- > Both grateful for and afraid of this powerful predator
- > A dark to the light and easy life they live in this peaceful meadow
- > But, without whom they would be dead
- > Either at the hands of other cats, or violent smarties
- > The spring sun wanes in the sky as every fluffy returns to their burrows
- > Sobbing dams still in the dirt clearing begging for mates and smarty to come back
- > The cat won't have to hunt squirrels for a long time
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