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2
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,359
Hey! Shut off the hose!

3
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,256
There's a fucking
faucet outside, man! Hurry up!

4
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,589
- Go! God!
- Jesus!

5
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:09,353
Shit!

6
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,477
- What a piece of shit old house, man.
- Yup, yup.

7
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,358
Fucking thing
wasn't even half full.

8
00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:16,634
Who the hell are you?

9
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:18,551
Oh, uh, Jake Bradford.

10
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:20,589
- Infielder?
- Pitcher.

11
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,000
- What?
- Hey! Whoa!

12
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,640
Just what we need,
another fucking pitcher.

13
00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:28,720
Not a lefty, are you?

14
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,199
Uh, no, no, right-handed.

15
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,315
Thank God.

16
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,795
Those guys are always
so fucking weird.

17
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,950
Like Nez. I hate that guy.

18
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,192
I love Nez.

19
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,232
He's fine.
He's just fucking weird.

20
00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,936
Hey, I'm just gonna
tell you something right now.

21
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,791
- Yup.
- I hate pitchers, okay?

22
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,359
So you and me
will be teammates,

23
00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,715
but we're not gonna
be friends or anything like that.

24
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,233
It might give you some
kind of edge

25
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:53,776
if I gotta face you
down the line in pro ball,

26
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:54,869
if you ever make it there.

27
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,075
I'm just not gonna do that.

28
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,296
- All right.
- Those your bags?

29
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,197
- Wanna pick your shit up?
- Oh, yeah. Sorry.

30
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,357
- Excuse me. Bye.
- Yup. Bye.

31
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,656
You know, nobody really realizes
how much water weighs.

32
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:12,910
You're talking about
62 pounds per cubic foot.

33
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,216
- Yeah.
- You know, I tried to warn them.

34
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:15,416
But let's be honest,

35
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,078
that would be fucking amazing

36
00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,038
if that fell through
the ceiling right now.

37
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,456
Dude, this is a good example

38
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,596
of someone being so invested
in what they want.

39
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:27,434
In this case, getting laid on an
oversized, overpriced water balloon,

40
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:28,520
that they fail to see

41
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,496
the giant waterbed-shaped
iceberg right in their path.

42
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:31,656
Mmm-hmm.
Or he just finds you

43
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:32,954
super-annoying and ignores you.

44
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,234
At his own peril,

45
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,993
as evidenced by this ill-fated
and ill-advised adventure

46
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,275
in mid-collapse before you...

47
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:44,150
I assume, being a new
teammate.

48
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,736
Thank you, Willoughby.
I'm Finn.

49
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:48,954
Uh, Jake.

50
00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:52,271
- Hi. Charlie Willoughby. Hi.
- Jake. Good to meet you.

51
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:53,759
Nice to meet you.

52
00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:57,276
Did you meet the brain trust
that perpetrated such a folly,

53
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:58,799
McReynolds and Roper?

54
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,472
Uh, yeah, yeah.
Uh, I think so.

55
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,118
One of them
told me he hated pitchers.

56
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,872
Even his own teammates.

57
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:07,157
Undoubtedly Glen McReynolds,
resident All-American.

58
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,118
On the field, you know.
Up here, benchwarmer.

59
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,078
Hey. Chapter 9 will blow your mind.

60
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,589
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

61
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:15,680
Guys.

62
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,995
Is it true that our house
is about to fall down?

63
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:23,072
Yeah, any second.

64
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,479
What's up, man? Jake Bradford.

65
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,471
What's up, dude? Tyrone Plummer.

66
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,154
Man, you can't even
fuck good on a waterbed.

67
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,071
It's like having sex
with a girl

68
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,037
on top of another
really fat girl,

69
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:35,314
know what I mean?

70
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:36,674
- Just moving around.
- Yeah.

71
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,193
Get out of my shot.

72
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:39,679
Sorry, man.

73
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,428
- Ah! Shit!
- Shit. Sorry.

74
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,496
What the hell's wrong with you?
You scared the shit out of me.

75
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,511
- Hey, you Billy Autrey?
- Beuter?

76
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,016
Shit, if I was that
pussy-whipped little bitch,

77
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,474
I'd be on the phone
moping to my girlfriend. Why?

78
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,198
I'm just supposed
to be rooming with him.

79
00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:56,033
"I'm just..." Oh, damn. Yeah.

80
00:05:56,120 --> 00:06:00,079
Uh, well, shit, if you ever wanna find
Beuter, just follow the phone cord.

81
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,354
- This?
- Yeah, come on.

82
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,510
You're like a lost lamb.

83
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,556
Thanks.

84
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,715
What did I tell you?

85
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,096
Hey, Beuter,
this your new roommate.

86
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:16,553
Damn, put some pants on, man.

87
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:17,936
- What's up, man?
- Hold on one second, babe.

88
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,109
Jake Bradford.

89
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,800
Jacob? Hey, how you doing?
I'm Billy Autrey.

90
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,030
- Good to meet you, man.
- Good to meet you.

91
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,552
- Dale Douglas.
- Jake Bradford.

92
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:29,736
Hey, man,
what position do you play?

93
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:30,954
Pitcher.

94
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:32,640
Well, what are you?

95
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:33,795
Second base.

96
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,616
Hey, I'll see you later, man.

97
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,790
Okay, Jacob.
Yeah, we'll see you, man.

98
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,719
Hey, ladies!
Happy hour is upon us at the Fox.

99
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,711
Two hours of drinking
before the team meeting.

100
00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:46,751
- Let's go.
- That's what I'm talking about.

101
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,960
You guys go ahead, man.
I've got some unpacking to do.

102
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,072
Bullshit! You're on
the team now, baby!

103
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:55,357
Onward, upward and inward! <i>Ja?</i>

104
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:56,440
Oh, yeah!

105
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,159
Say hello, Finn.

106
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:19,036
Mmm-hmm, ooh,
look at what we have here.

107
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,696
Well, look at this
lovely bunch of ladies.

108
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:21,720
Let's say hi.

109
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,512
I think we should.

110
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,956
Tit-tit-tit-tit-tit-tits!

111
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,678
- Fuck off, faggots!
- Yeah!

112
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,671
- That was beautiful.
- Oh!

113
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:31,909
I love this time of year.

114
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:41,910
Party later tonight
at the baseball houses.

115
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,113
Where?

116
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:45,673
15th and Avenue H.

117
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,671
You know, just look
for two beautiful houses

118
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,671
filled with Greek gods who care.

119
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,273
Okay, when?

120
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:52,793
When you get there.

121
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:56,793
And when you do get there,
ask for me, Kenny Roper.

122
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,753
We look forward to
seeing all of you there.

123
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,719
All of you.

124
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:09,640
There we go.

125
00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,296
She looks like
my fifth grade teacher.

126
00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:12,958
She's built right.

127
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,473
Hey, ladies, uh...

128
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,256
I don't know if you guys
are doing anything tonight,

129
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,440
but we'd like to invite you
to a baseball party with...

130
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,674
Sorry.

131
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:25,800
Uh...

132
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,234
Okay.

133
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,914
- Ouch!
- Not my fault she's a bitch.

134
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,072
Jeez, ball hit the mitt
before you ever even swung.

135
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,776
And what was I
supposed to do, huh?

136
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,392
You gotta notice
the clues, Rope.

137
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:37,913
There was
a typewriter in the back.

138
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,656
- Oh, yeah.
- They're intelligent girls.

139
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,456
You have to rise
and meet them on their level.

140
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,072
Huh? Is that right?

141
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,071
Act like you've read
a book before. Jeez.

142
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,752
Okay, Finn, you're up.

143
00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:48,656
- Well, I can't do any worse.
- Here we go.

144
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:49,999
Take notes, boys.

145
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:51,752
Excuse me, ladies.

146
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:54,308
You know, I couldn't help but
notice you ladies being hassled

147
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:55,992
by that asshole
in the car back there.

148
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:57,195
It's a shame.

149
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:58,936
You know, some guys
are just so aggressive.

150
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,996
Myself, I'm a firm
supporter of the ERA...

151
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,936
Although I doubt it's gonna
have an immediate impact

152
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,598
on the societal norm
of the male gender,

153
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,752
initiating virtually all contact
with respect to females.

154
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,416
You know, which might seem
predatory on the surface,

155
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:10,440
but I assure you...

156
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:11,589
Trust me.

157
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,069
You should be investing
this energy elsewhere.

158
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,000
Well, now you just
plain hurt our feelings.

159
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,176
Aww.

160
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,509
Do you also hate guys
that are athletic, intelligent,

161
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,870
sometimes endearingly clumsy,
or is that just her?

162
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,000
Hey, Finn, did you mention hung?

163
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,336
I didn't mention hung,
Dale, not yet.

164
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,669
Okay, um...

165
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:31,919
Y'all wanna know the truth?

166
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,594
Always. It'll set you free.

167
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,794
I like the quiet guy
in the back seat,

168
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:39,199
in the middle.

169
00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:43,629
Well, there's nothing here.

170
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:46,800
Lesbians.

171
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,632
Yeah! Did you guys hear that?

172
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,376
- I didn't hear anything.
- Delusional.

173
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,896
- Freshman's hearing things.
- No, dude.

174
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,831
Quiet, non-asshole guy
in the back, that's me.

175
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,319
Wait, no, guys.

176
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,176
Yeah, no, I think I heard
her say something like,

177
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,156
"The guy in the back,
whether he knows it or not,

178
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:00,958
- "is a cock jockey."
- Oh.

179
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:04,999
- Yeah, but I heard "cock gobbler."
- Cock gobbler.

180
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,991
I heard,
"The guy in the back seat,

181
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,991
"his cock looks like
an outie bellybutton."

182
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:10,149
Oh, yeah. Are we mistaken?

183
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:11,315
That's what we heard.

184
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:12,736
Yeah, I can see
how that could get threatening.

185
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,216
All right, new guy coming in,
getting all the ladies.

186
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,309
Hey there, freshman,

187
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,016
I've fucked more girls
than you've cranked off to.

188
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,856
- Hey, do me a favor. Stop for a second.
- Why?

189
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:20,120
I wanna see
what room she's in.

190
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:21,669
Just give it up, son.

191
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,416
This just went from "cute"
to "restraining order."

192
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,510
Just do it.
I'll buy the first pitcher.

193
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,918
Okay. Now you're talking
our language a little.

194
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,672
All right, what are we
looking at? Let's see.

195
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:37,915
Okay. Stop, stop.

196
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:41,914
Okay, that's her.

197
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,234
Hey.

198
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:46,596
All right, 307.
Help me remember that?

199
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:49,638
- Sure, man, 309.
- No, 307.

200
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,792
- 304.
- Can we go now, Mr. Stalker?

201
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,029
Weirdo, man.

202
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:55,354
30-12?

203
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:56,509
Damn. Hey.

204
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,273
- Huh? Yeah?
- That was pathetic, man.

205
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:02,909
She was using you, a peasant,
to fuck with us, the kings.

206
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,520
Look, if you'd opened
your mouth, too,

207
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:06,676
you'd have been shut down.
You don't see that?

208
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,115
No, I don't, actually.

209
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,320
Only been at college an hour

210
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,630
and I'm already pulling in
the groupies, man!

211
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,553
That was a joke.

212
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,517
Got your joke right here.

213
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,879
Did he just call his dick a joke?

214
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,279
That's what he implied.

215
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,072
- To the Fox?
- To the Fox.

216
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:39,437
Didn't it seem like most of the girls
we saw today were,

217
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:41,556
you know, moving into
the dorms on campus?

218
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:43,318
That's what we're talking about!

219
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,518
Oh, thank God. Finally.

220
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:47,275
Mmm-hmm.

221
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:48,509
Thanks, man.

222
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,434
So don't you think we would get more
ass living on campus?

223
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:52,856
You know, where all the girls are.

224
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:53,949
No, no.

225
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,758
Have a clue, freshman.
The dorms suck.

226
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:57,592
You guys have no idea.

227
00:12:57,680 --> 00:13:01,309
They gave us two houses.
Man, we've got it made.

228
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,896
No dorm resident
snitches keeping track.

229
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,195
You know, den-mother types
up your ass.

230
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:08,477
No centralized authority.
It's fucking brilliant.

231
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,416
Let's just hope they don't
realize what they've done.

232
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,668
- Oh, yeah.
- Mmm-hmm.

233
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,271
We knew we'd find you
drunks here!

234
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,709
What miserable updraft
wafts you three hither?

235
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,911
- Oh, bite me, Finn.
- I will not...

236
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,000
Dismount.

237
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,056
This is our third bar
of the afternoon, boys!

238
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,308
You one of the new freshmen?

239
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:29,958
- Yeah, Jake.
- Coma.

240
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,075
Hey, Alex Brumley.

241
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,256
Hey, man. Nice to meet you.

242
00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:33,508
Nesbit. A pleasure.

243
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,192
Go get some
glasses, Brumley.

244
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:36,440
Yeah, sure thing, dude.

245
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:37,589
Whoa, is...

246
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,513
Wait, Jay Niles
isn't with you guys?

247
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:41,669
Who's Jay Niles?

248
00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:43,830
You haven't heard of Jay Niles?

249
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,150
The second coming of Nolan Ryan.

250
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,674
Yeah, man,
95-mile-an-hour fastball.

251
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,352
Self-professed, mind you.

252
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,158
He's this intense fuck
from Detroit,

253
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,231
who just kind of spouts out
all his stats

254
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,160
and just talks about
what a pro prospect he is.

255
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,428
How'd that guy end up here?

256
00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,431
Well, he's filling
the obligatory quota.

257
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,856
You know, we have to have at least
two weirdos on every team.

258
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:03,598
Now we're full up.

259
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:08,708
Wait, Jay Niles, one.
Two? Who's two?

260
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,791
You, you sawed-off drunk fuck.

261
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,914
No, actually your roommate,
Beuter, the hayseed.

262
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,439
- Ah.
- Can we agree?

263
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:17,555
We can agree.

264
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:18,976
I thought his name was
Billy Autrey.

265
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,592
Oh, it was, until we changed it

266
00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:22,656
to the most country bumpkin name
we could come up with.

267
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:23,795
Beuter Perkins.

268
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:25,393
Beuter!

269
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,816
Hey, you guys sure Coach
isn't gonna know if we've been drinking?

270
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:31,037
Fuck, Brumley, you've seriously
asked that at every bar.

271
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,736
"Are you sure Coach isn't gonna know
if we've been drinking?

272
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:35,273
"What if he smells my breath?"

273
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,749
We're fucking drinking, man!
That's what we're doing!

274
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,751
- Yeah, we are.
- Okay? Yeah.

275
00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:41,637
Cheers for the beers.

276
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,438
What is that brown shit
on your lip?

277
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,192
I thought it was like a light,
like a shadow on your lip, but it...

278
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:50,872
- Is that a mustache?
- Yeah.

279
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:52,115
Ugh!

280
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:55,948
I'm sorry. Don't touch it. Don't...

281
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:57,399
Ew. Stop.

282
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,277
- Oh!
- Ugh!

283
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:02,272
Yeah, it's a mustache.
That's a mustache.

284
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,511
- It's growing.
- Was that hair?

285
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,919
Full throttle to the bottle.

286
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,479
Shut up, Brumley.

287
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,471
Why does he keep
saying things like that?

288
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:14,870
Finn, I'm seriously
worried about these new guys. I mean...

289
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,996
It's gonna be
a strange year, man.

290
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,718
- Hey, whoa!
- Oh!

291
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:20,976
If you haven't met yet,

292
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,275
I'd like to introduce you
to the new guys on the team.

293
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,960
Freshman Ty Plummer, catcher.

294
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,518
Stand up, Ty. Come on, son.

295
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:32,710
Alex Brumley, outfield.

296
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:34,835
Hey, guys.

297
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:35,960
Sit down.

298
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,349
All right. Jake Bradford

299
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:42,597
and Billy Autrey,
both freshman pitchers.

300
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,953
Also, I'm taking a leap
this year on two transfers,

301
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,792
trying to shore up our pitching staff.

302
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,189
From California,
senior Charlie Willoughby.

303
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,998
Stand up, Willoughby.

304
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,115
Guys.

305
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,794
And from Detroit, Jay Niles.

306
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:00,155
All right.

307
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,708
For you vets, I expect you
to show the new guys around.

308
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,518
Hopefully be a positive
influence on them.

309
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:06,473
I'd appreciate that, all right?

310
00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,318
Wake up, Coma!

311
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:12,071
Okay, for the eight of you
living in this house

312
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,278
and the eight of you
living next door,

313
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,396
there's gonna be
some guidelines for living here.

314
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,389
The city's been generous enough
to donate these houses

315
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,153
to help with the overcrowding
situation in athletic dorms,

316
00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:23,992
and we've agreed to be
responsible for them.

317
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,992
So, two rules.

318
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,629
Number one.
No alcohol in these houses, okay?

319
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:33,715
It's against school policy.
Need I say more?

320
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,875
Now, we can't stop you
from having a drink

321
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:40,157
down at that Jolly Fox
and Sound Machine, or whatever.

322
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:44,472
You're all over 18, all right?
Just no booze in this house.

323
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:49,798
Okay. Number two,
and it's a biggie, gentlemen.

324
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,553
No girls upstairs in those bedrooms.

325
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:53,914
What?

326
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:55,268
Yup. I'm sorry.

327
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,016
She's gonna have to
take it back to her place or,

328
00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:58,536
if you want,
you can spend as much time

329
00:16:58,560 --> 00:16:59,776
as you like together down here.

330
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,360
There's plenty of room
in both these houses for socializing.

331
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,816
So, if you just gotta
bring some little gal back to the house,

332
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,593
you keep her buns downstairs.
You got it?

333
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,399
Don't want the program taken
down by a piece of poontang.

334
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,079
Okay, that's it.

335
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,390
Voluntary practice is on Sunday.

336
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:16,708
That's players-only now.

337
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,256
Rulebook says
I can't be on the field,

338
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:19,952
so I'll see you fellas on Monday.

339
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,634
Be responsible out there
this weekend, okay?

340
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,915
Think before you do
something stupid, please.

341
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,035
Skip?

342
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,111
All right.
Mac, you got something?

343
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,713
Yeah. Hey, new guys, listen up.

344
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,633
Just so you know,
"voluntary" means mandatory, okay?

345
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:33,776
Everybody's got to be there.

346
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,136
If you're not there,
then you probably don't care

347
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,151
about beating those fuckers
from Arizona.

348
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,576
And if you're not serious about
that, you might as well go home.

349
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,636
Oh, yeah. We're taking it
this year, fellas.

350
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,597
All the way.

351
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,637
All right! Our lucky year!

352
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:56,469
Get ready, boys, your college
careers are about to begin.

353
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:01,199
- How's it going?
- Yeah, yeah!

354
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,874
Murphy! Trouble walking in.

355
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,871
- How's it going, man?
- Hey. Two-dollar cover.

356
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,520
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, no. They're with us.

357
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:09,675
Freshman superstars.

358
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,633
It's all right.
Let them in.

359
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:12,755
Thanks, man.

360
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:13,840
Have fun, boys.

361
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,296
Hey, shake something,
don't break something.

362
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,355
Yes, sir.

363
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:40,829
- Hey, hey, guys.
- Yeah?

364
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,336
If you guys want more beer,
go to Howard.

365
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,555
The guy that looks like Cheech.

366
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,437
We're getting all this shit
for free, okay?

367
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,472
Dude! No cover and free beer.

368
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:50,560
Mmm-hmm.

369
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,676
College is the fucking greatest!

370
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,637
Hey, it's part of the scholarship.

371
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,634
Say goodbye to your
high school sweethearts, fellas.

372
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,917
The wonderful world
of college pussy is upon you.

373
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,109
Ladies! How was your summer?

374
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,191
Fun. How was yours?

375
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,276
Angie, you look amazing.

376
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:32,496
Let me introduce you to
some of the new guys. This is Jake.

377
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:33,776
- Hey. Nice to meet you.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.

378
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:34,915
That dude is Plum.

379
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,109
What's up? Tyrone.

380
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,474
- How you doing?
- Hi.

381
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:39,918
- You guys wanna dance?
- Yeah.

382
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,037
Cheers. To a beautiful night.

383
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,957
There we go.

384
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:14,155
Mmm.

385
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,515
- Oh, yeah.
- Whoo!

386
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:17,816
We're gonna need a couple more.

387
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:18,955
Yeah, come on!

388
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:22,476
She needs quite a few more.
You do, too.

389
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,471
- Lookit.
- What? What's up?

390
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,190
Finn's in his average
cock mode.

391
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,919
Right now, I guarantee you
he's telling those girls

392
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:31,678
about how
he has an average cock.

393
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,016
Why the hell
would he do that?

394
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,996
See, no, it's genius, actually.

395
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:37,150
See, he tells girls
that he has an average cock,

396
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,198
and while that might only seem
moderately compelling on paper,

397
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:41,554
women find it a relief

398
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,108
from all the guys talking
about how huge they are.

399
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,918
I'm a performer, all right?
I'm a grower, not a shower.

400
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,176
See all that fun, all that laughing?

401
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:50,200
Yeah, yeah.

402
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:51,998
They're talking about
his dick, man!

403
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,195
- Fuckin' with me.
- No...

404
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:54,416
You heard of
"foot in the door"?

405
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:55,440
Of course.

406
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:56,800
Finn's got his dick in the door.

407
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,193
That's fucking genius.

408
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,714
- Genius. Yes!
- Genius!

409
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:01,835
- Fuck.
- I tell you.

410
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,038
Hey, you see what I see?

411
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:07,976
- You know them?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

412
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,877
That's Michelle with her friend Val.

413
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,160
What's the book on them?

414
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,794
The book is,
we're going over to rap with them.

415
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,677
- Yeah?
- Oh, hell, yes.

416
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:21,236
Let's get it.

417
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:22,560
Hey, which one you going after?

418
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:23,834
Oh, Michelle, definitely.

419
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,751
- The one on the right.
- The tall one?

420
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,035
I'm climbing that tree, Jake!

421
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:31,032
- I hear Val is fun. Go for it!
- All right, cool.

422
00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:32,792
- Val?
- How you doing, Dale?

423
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,235
- Michelle.
- Dale.

424
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:36,696
Michelle, Val, this is Jake.

425
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:37,835
- Hey there.
- What's up?

426
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:39,016
Oh, I love this song! Come on.

427
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,040
It's Jake.

428
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,031
Val.

429
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:45,396
Are you gonna ask me to dance,
or are you just gonna stand there?

430
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,630
I'm asking you to dance.

431
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:54,598
Hey, what position do you play?

432
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:55,829
Pitcher.

433
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,240
Oh, cool. And you're a freshman?

434
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,474
Yeah, yeah. You?

435
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,870
I'm a sophomore.
I live in the apartment next to Angie.

436
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,075
Oh, cool.

437
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,435
Hey, do you live in those
new baseball houses?

438
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:06,589
Yeah, yeah.

439
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:53,638
Oh, yes! Yes! Ooh,
two at a time, bro! Shoot!

440
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,513
Just a second.

441
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,354
Wait here a second.

442
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:08,716
Soul brother,
what's the deal, man?

443
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:12,156
I don't know, man.
Finn's got that Leeann chick in there.

444
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:21,976
I'm gonna go
upstairs real quick.

445
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,016
- I'll be right back.
- Huh?

446
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:24,816
I'm gonna go upstairs real quick.
I'll be right back.

447
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:25,875
Okay.

448
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:27,520
Ah!

449
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:36,951
Strike three. Strike three.

450
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,592
Strike...

451
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,554
...and his answer is,
his answer is,

452
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,598
"It needs some tail."
And ol' Ben says,

453
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,831
"Well, that's what I told Mrs. Franklin.
She told me to go fly a kite!"

454
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:56,709
"Go fly a kite!"

455
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:57,955
Oh, man, that's funny.

456
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:01,234
- Hey, what's going on, Jacob?
- What's up, man?

457
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,151
So, where you guys been tonight?

458
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:04,468
Oh, shoot, man.

459
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:07,632
We went over to the
Guaranteed Wholesome.

460
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:08,914
What about you?

461
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,069
Uh, Sound Machine.

462
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,269
Sound Machine, all right.

463
00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:13,510
Yeah. Hey, Beuter.

464
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,271
I mean, Billy. Uh...

465
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:18,954
Look, man,
I got a little lady downstairs

466
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,640
who maybe wants
to come up here

467
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,472
and check out my album collection,
you know?

468
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,597
How about that? Hey, Jacob,
didn't Coach Gordan say this afternoon

469
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,989
that we weren't supposed
to have girls upstairs?

470
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,230
He said something about that,
didn't he?

471
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:32,469
Yeah. Yeah, he did.

472
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:33,856
But, I mean,
half the guys in this house

473
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:35,056
just broke that rule,
you know?

474
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:38,152
So I kind of decided
not to be like a one-man holdout on that.

475
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,152
Yeah. Yeah, you is
a team player, ain't you?

476
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,240
Huh.

477
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,710
So, what you want me to do?

478
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:47,589
I don't know, man.

479
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,672
Just, uh, do
the right thing, you know?

480
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,199
Give me the room alone
for a bit.

481
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:53,280
Huh.

482
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:58,435
You know, man, but my girlfriend,
she lives out of town, right?

483
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,239
So what, you want me to just

484
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,390
pitch a tent on the couch
all the time, or what?

485
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:04,635
Not all the time.

486
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,233
Just this little window of time.

487
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,072
- Little window? Yeah.
- Yeah.

488
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:11,016
Look, come on, man,
you guys are already

489
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:12,155
breaking the alcohol rule.

490
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,396
Or is there a waiver
for Lone Star?

491
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,278
Dang, that sure is Lone Star.
That's alcohol right there.

492
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:19,112
Alcoholic beverage in there.
I'll be danged.

493
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:20,474
Well, man, I'll tell you what,

494
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:24,599
I gotta get up early
for registration in the morning.

495
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:30,475
Plus, I think Mr. Finnegan
set up a room downstairs for that.

496
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,039
Yeah, he's in there.

497
00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:33,120
Wow!

498
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,514
Well, shoot,

499
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,478
I reckon he'll be
out of there before too long, won't he?

500
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:43,959
Un-fucking-believable.

501
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,871
You go get 'em, Jacob.

502
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:49,155
Go show her them albums.

503
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,477
All right, bro.

504
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,309
Let's go somewhere quiet.

505
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,398
I feel like the Astros
are gonna make it to the World Series.

506
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:07,075
<i>Tom, you know I wouldn't ask you this
unless it were very important.</i>

507
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,151
Erica's such a bitch.

508
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:10,832
Yeah, she's definitely
cheating on him.

509
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,319
What?

510
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,638
Hey, Beuter,
you leaving us already?

511
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,678
Running home to mama, Perkins?

512
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:21,070
Come on, y'all, my name ain't Beuter.
Okay, guys? It's Billy Autrey.

513
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:22,918
Bullshit!

514
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,880
It's Beuter Perkins
until we tell you otherwise.

515
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,154
Now, where you going, BP?

516
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,198
You running back to that
corn-fed girlfriend of yours already?

517
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:30,616
No, sir, I'll be back Sunday
for practice.

518
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:32,198
Well, well, well!

519
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:35,078
Looks like Beuter Perkins
is getting laid this weekend. Huh?

520
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,760
You finally trading in that phone
for the real thing?

521
00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:39,758
Shoot, y'all.

522
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,272
Man, guys,
she says she might be pregnant.

523
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:46,040
No, sir.

524
00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:48,236
Yeah, man, that's what she says.

525
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:49,719
How late is she?

526
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,239
She's a day late.

527
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:55,991
You gotta be shittin' me, Beuter!

528
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:57,936
She's one day late
and she's giving you shit for it?

529
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,216
She's testing you. She's trying
to gauge your response.

530
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:01,355
Are you the guy that says,

531
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:02,576
"Don't worry,
I'm gonna pay for the abortion,"

532
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:03,936
or are you talking about marriage?

533
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:05,712
Which is what she's hoping for.

534
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,837
Either way, you're fucked.
Give it up, Beuter Perkins.

535
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,016
No trust me, man,
she's not fucking pregnant, all right?

536
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:12,560
We've all been through shit like this.

537
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:14,136
Except for Nez, of course,
'cause he's still a virgin.

538
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,360
Look, she's just
taking your little chicken-fried nuts

539
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:18,696
and she's running them
through the wringer, okay?

540
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,176
She's just giving you shit for it because
you left her back on the farm

541
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,256
with all the other little pigs
you used to fuck.

542
00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:24,560
I ain't never put it in a pig!

543
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:28,229
They speaketh the truth,
young Beuter Perkins.

544
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:30,709
Man, we're just
worried about you, all right?

545
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:32,136
Yeah, man. I mean,
school hasn't even started yet,

546
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:33,560
and, guys,
correct me if I'm wrong,

547
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:35,517
but you are the official frontrunner

548
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,736
for the Freshman Numb-Nut
of the Year award, right, guys?

549
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:38,909
The what award?

550
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:40,189
Oh, it's the annual award.

551
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,056
We give it out to
the most clueless freshman.

552
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,376
I think we've already started engraving
his name on the plaque.

553
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:45,616
How do you spell "Beuter,"
by the way?

554
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:46,993
My name is not Beuter!

555
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:50,556
Uh, Beuter,
we also got a bet going on

556
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:52,995
whether your share
of the phone bill

557
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:55,395
is gonna be under or over $300.

558
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,080
We gotta pay
the phone bill here?

559
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:01,152
I've already done the calculations
based on its usage thus far,

560
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:02,639
way over $300.

561
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:04,352
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.

562
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:07,318
$300 and a kid?

563
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,709
Man, your life's
gonna fucking suck.

564
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,513
Fine. Fine.

565
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:14,273
Later, Beuter!

566
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,078
Later, Beuter!

567
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:17,918
Bye, Beuter! Beuter.

568
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,594
Five bucks says
we never see him again.

569
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:23,398
Nez, he's gotta come back
for his shit.

570
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:24,754
It's a bad bet.

571
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:26,831
This is why
you're losing money all the time.

572
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:29,590
A good bet would be,
I don't know,

573
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,114
"Is his girlfriend in his family tree?"

574
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,634
Okay, five bucks
that his girlfriend's in his family tree.

575
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:36,711
Okay, uh, first cousin,
second cousin?

576
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:38,068
First cousin, Finn.

577
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,953
See, that's a bad bet.
I'll take the bet.

578
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:42,792
- Still bad odds.
- First cousin?

579
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,798
So, what do most
of the guys on the team major in?

580
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:48,279
Besides baseball and pussy?

581
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,396
Ah, you mean
when a girl asks? That's easy.

582
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,914
Look, there are thousands
and thousands of people

583
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,831
majoring in all kinds of shit here.

584
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:58,469
But there's only 25 of us.
We're the best team on campus.

585
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,936
You got a football team
that'll win about three games a year.

586
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:02,552
Basketball team hasn't won shit.

587
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:03,960
We are in the playoffs every year

588
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:05,480
and we're always ranked nationally.

589
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:06,879
Dale, you're confusing him.

590
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,679
Bottom line is this,
her friends are gonna ask,

591
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,830
"What's he like? What's he do?"

592
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,956
She's not gonna have
to say the old,

593
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:15,576
"I don't know.
He's a marketing major."

594
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:17,511
That's not gonna cut it.

595
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,556
"He's a baseball player."

596
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,720
See, now they got
something special to talk about.

597
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:25,040
"How's your ballplayer doing?"

598
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:26,536
"Oh, he's still stiff as a bat."

599
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:27,816
"You still ballin' your player?"

600
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:29,068
"Oh, he's sliding home."

601
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,355
That's cool, that's cool and everything.
I like pussy.

602
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,591
But, you know, what about school?
Like, what do I take?

603
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:36,272
Oh, oh, oh. That's easy,
that's easy.

604
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,576
You get good at making
the school-part work for you, right?

605
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:39,749
It's like a puzzle, man.

606
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,149
What teachers will
give you a break, what classes to take.

607
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,516
Hey, look, you gotta start the
semester with 12 hours, all right?

608
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,096
But you only gotta be
passing nine to be eligible.

609
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,076
Drop one class, blow off another.

610
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:54,597
God damn it, Plummer!

611
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:57,518
Call it! Wake up!

612
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:00,114
Oh!

613
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:02,953
Whoo!

614
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:08,256
- I kinda like our relationship.
- Mmm.

615
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,589
It's like, I throw the junk
and you get yourself out.

616
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,073
Fuck!

617
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:14,958
Was that a big deal for you,
transferring in senior year?

618
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,553
No, man, not really.

619
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:18,096
You know,
I'll still have a few hours

620
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:21,112
that I gotta complete,
you know?

621
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:25,955
I'll go back in late summer,
graduate, do that thing.

622
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,270
And where's,
uh, San Luis Obispo?

623
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,749
- Uh, California.
- That's where you're from?

624
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:35,550
Yeah. Yeah.
Sort of the central coast area.

625
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:39,394
- Cool. Cool. Mmm...
- Yeah. Yeah. Very cool.

626
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:40,959
I'm from this, uh,

627
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:42,439
- small town in the valley.
- Yeah.

628
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:46,149
- Hey, man, you get high?
- Yeah. Yeah, here and there.

629
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:48,629
Yeah? Well, I don't know.

630
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:50,990
Couple of guys
are gonna go burn this with me

631
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:52,559
in my room pretty soon.

632
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:56,434
- If you wanna join that.
- Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

633
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,869
- Yeah? All right. All right.
- Cool.

634
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:05,275
Whoo!

635
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,675
- I'll bet you 10 bucks.
- Ten bucks?

636
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,656
- Yeah. Ten bucks.
- You wanna go... That's steep for you.

637
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:10,954
Best out of three.

638
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:13,793
- So, I gotta get two?
- Yeah, Mac, two.

639
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,792
Okay. You feel like
losing 10 bucks?

640
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,760
You're just excited
to hit off me for once, huh?

641
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,110
Oh, man. I mean,
this is gonna be fun.

642
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:24,998
This is gonna be very fun, Nesbit.

643
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:26,638
Man, let me get
a little stretch in.

644
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:30,190
Come on. Come on, Mr. Ax.
Strong Man.

645
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,555
Anytime.

646
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:43,314
Fuck. I don't believe
what I just fucking saw.

647
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,096
You know how strong
you'd have to be to do that?

648
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:46,696
- And the eyes!
- Let me see that.

649
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:48,790
You know how well
you'd have to see the ball

650
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,199
to hit it with an ax?

651
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,117
Fucking crazy.

652
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,515
You just wouldn't listen, Nez.
You wanna go half price?

653
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:56,216
We can stop now.
We can call it five bucks.

654
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:57,878
- No, no, no.
- Double or nothing.

655
00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,712
Triple or nothing. Huh?

656
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:01,631
Yeah, you feeling lucky? I am.

657
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:02,994
I feel great with those odds.

658
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:05,071
Triple or nothing sounds fantastic.

659
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:08,152
Maybe one of the best days
of my life here, Nez.

660
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,231
You know, until tomorrow.

661
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:19,509
What was that?

662
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:33,838
You're gonna be
squashed, Jake.

663
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:35,748
Ooh.

664
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:36,909
I hate this game.

665
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:38,816
It starts out easy,
and then it just gets fucking impossible.

666
00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:39,955
I'm telling you.

667
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:44,028
Yeah, man, I must've wasted,
like, $200 in quarters

668
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:45,519
on this bitch last summer,

669
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,955
just getting reamed
by these little fuckers.

670
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,873
You can't win.
Once they get up on you, you're fucked.

671
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:52,359
Sounds of amateurs

672
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,396
who have not yet
mastered the gap method.

673
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:55,736
What the fuck
is the gap method?

674
00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:57,273
You're looking at it, Plum.

675
00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:00,113
Like you were saying,
most people lose at this point

676
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,376
not because they get shot,
but because they get overrun.

677
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,356
But I discovered that they actually

678
00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:06,476
don't shoot you from
the absolute front row.

679
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:07,913
- Shit, they don't?
- No.

680
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,720
You just gotta create
a clearing of columns.

681
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,096
- You see what I'm doing right there?
- Yeah.

682
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:13,475
Make your space, okay?
You just hold your ground in there.

683
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:16,552
Just gets a little hairy.

684
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,392
They speed up at the end.
See that guy?

685
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:19,515
See how fast he's going?

686
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:21,596
All right? But you just
gotta remain calm,

687
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:23,591
meet them in the middle and...

688
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:25,193
Fucking nailed that!

689
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:27,555
Fuckin A, man! Okay! Okay!

690
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:28,776
Gimme some dap!
Gimme some dap!

691
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,760
- Oh, shit, come on.
- Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

692
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:32,280
Oh!

693
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,920
It's the same shot every time!

694
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,310
- Same shot every time!
- All right. You know, um, Mac?

695
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:42,473
I... This is supposed to be fun,
and now I'm not having fun.

696
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:43,856
Well, it's not his fault.
It's our fault.

697
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:44,915
Thank you.

698
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,831
- You can't teach this chemistry.
- You can't.

699
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:48,296
We've been together
for three years!

700
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,296
I know where I'm going
with it before he even gets it to me.

701
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:51,720
Yeah, and I know
where he wants it.

702
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:54,635
- That's special.
- Let me talk, man.

703
00:34:54,720 --> 00:34:59,589
- That ass is golden.
- Absolutely, say no more.

704
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,877
Whoa. Hey. The bitch stick?

705
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:04,875
Are you kidding me?

706
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:07,272
What, I'm just trying
to make the shot.

707
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:09,590
Okay. Not with this you're not.

708
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:11,432
Okay, Brum,
have your balls dropped?

709
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:13,998
- Yeah.
- Yeah?

710
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,878
Okay, now play like you got some
fucking semen in your sack, Brum.

711
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:18,518
Okay.

712
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,715
- Okay? All right.
- Okay.

713
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,352
- What the hell is this?
- Please.

714
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,475
- What are you doing?
- Putting it on.

715
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,312
- First time wearing cologne?
- No.

716
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:07,400
Get it on there, man.

717
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:08,696
Get it under your arms
and on your chest.

718
00:36:08,720 --> 00:36:09,936
Don't just put it
on your neck. Come on.

719
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,190
I don't know, man.

720
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:14,396
Too much of this smells like cat piss.

721
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,198
Yeah, no shit.

722
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,669
Trying to help you out,
and you're gonna question me?

723
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:23,072
Jesus. I'm telling you, man,
chicks dig this shit. All right?

724
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,714
Now you can come back here and
do the five-knuckle shuffle

725
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:27,336
all night if you want to.
I don't really care.

726
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:28,918
What's the five-knuckle shuffle?

727
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:33,436
- Jesus, freshman, figure it out, man.
- Oh.

728
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,080
Hey, good one, McReynolds.

729
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,276
You're so fucking desperate, dude.

730
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:41,113
Desperate for pussy!

731
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:03,630
This shirt makes me
fucking sad, man.

732
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,509
Uh, what's up, guys?
You lost?

733
00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:17,030
Oh, I got the best cheese
on campus.

734
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:22,392
I mean, girls, they come up to me
out of the blue and they say,

735
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:25,756
"You got the best cheese
on campus."

736
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:27,068
Yeah?

737
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:30,596
Sure those pants couldn't
be a little tighter there?

738
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:32,238
Nope.

739
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,072
No?

740
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:35,160
What are you doing?

741
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:38,751
I'm going through
your album collection.

742
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:40,478
Oh, okay, don't mind me.

743
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:43,751
Holy shit!

744
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:48,197
Nesie, look at what I found here.

745
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:50,908
"2nd Team All-State."

746
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,275
- Yeah, so?
- You're a fucking badass!

747
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:56,079
Hey, guys! We got
a 2nd Team All-Stater among us!

748
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:58,355
Fuck off
with that shit, boy.

749
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:01,552
Golly gee, you're good.
You're good.

750
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:04,438
Hey, I'm sure afraid
to hit off you, 2nd Team All-State.

751
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,478
Yeah, I'm scared. Ooh!

752
00:38:07,720 --> 00:38:09,915
2nd Team All-State.

753
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:11,752
- Scariness.
- Wait. Oh, wait.

754
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,798
Did I ask you guys
to be in my room right now?

755
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:18,112
No. No. Goodbye.

756
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:19,758
Well, look at you.

757
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,671
Nice fucking life
you got here, Joe College.

758
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:24,056
I mean, you got your whole room
to yourself for the weekend,

759
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:25,877
and you got your albums.

760
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,359
This is mine now.

761
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:31,880
Borrowing this.

762
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,154
Hey, wait. Hey, no.

763
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:35,356
Hey, you return that
with one scratch on it, Nez...

764
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:37,878
What? What?

765
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:39,989
What?

766
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,150
Just return my album, man.

767
00:38:42,240 --> 00:38:44,310
What? What?

768
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:45,515
What?

769
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,632
Ooh.

770
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,636
Fuck, that guy's weird.

771
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:03,155
Oh, yeah, 95 on the gun, official.

772
00:39:03,240 --> 00:39:05,595
Could've gone to anywhere in Texas.

773
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:09,514
I had a stack of offers
about that high, that high.

774
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:12,910
- Almost went to USC.
- Were you drafted?

775
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,673
Yeah, yeah.
The Blue Jays almost picked me up,

776
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,718
but I told them I'm going to college
for a couple of years.

777
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,189
- Good move.
- Yeah, yeah.

778
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:22,713
- You drafted?
- No.

779
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:24,074
McReynolds was.

780
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:25,434
Really?

781
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:26,520
Hmm.

782
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:28,616
You got some moves.
Alison, right?

783
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:30,232
Like your dress.

784
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:34,072
- Blue, like your eyes.
- ...baseball team.

785
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:38,276
- Shit, you like baseball, too?
- Some nice... Fuck.

786
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,237
Fuck it, man.

787
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:42,959
- We suck tonight.
- Dude, this is getting ridiculous.

788
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:44,268
We suck so fucking hard.

789
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:46,994
I'm gonna get a drink.
Man's drink!

790
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,719
- A real drink!
- Yeah! Yeah, do that!

791
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:50,949
Way to go!

792
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:52,598
All right.
I'll see you guys in a bit.

793
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:55,877
- Right. See ya.
- Okay. All right.

794
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,349
God, am I the only person
living in reality here?

795
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,556
That I'm not gonna be
playing this game forever?

796
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:04,269
Hey, man, you gotta appreciate it
while it lasts, you know?

797
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:05,576
I mean, I'm a good
college player.

798
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,875
But beyond that,
I'm not counting on anything.

799
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:11,916
Screwdriver!
This place is fucking awesome.

800
00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:17,233
I've been dancing up
on like five girls all night long, man.

801
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:19,536
That's not true, though.
You haven't danced with one girl yet.

802
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:23,633
Yeah, I have. Oh, yeah. Before you
got here. I was all up on 'em, man.

803
00:40:23,720 --> 00:40:26,280
Hey, who's that douchebag
she's dancing with?

804
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:29,119
Oh, Thompson?
He's a football player.

805
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,077
What a dyke!

806
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:36,553
Man, this is savage.
We're getting fucking hosed out here.

807
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:37,755
Fucking sucks.

808
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,479
You know what?
I mean, taking account of the situation,

809
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:43,120
we're not doing so hot,
but we're in the early innings.

810
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,395
- We got a whole game to play.
- Yeah.

811
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:47,040
This is college, Jake, all right?

812
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:49,190
The girls can be
as big of sluts as the guys!

813
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:50,474
Make it work for you.

814
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:51,879
Hey, screwdriver! Okay?

815
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:53,871
It's not the writing of
the <i>Magna</i> fucking <i>Carta!</i>

816
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:54,960
That's a book.

817
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:56,439
Who drinks a screwdriver, anyway?

818
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:57,873
I drink a fucking screwdriver!

819
00:40:57,960 --> 00:40:59,951
Everybody I know
drinks a fucking screwdriver.

820
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:01,096
You know who drinks
a screwdriver?

821
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,736
- My little sister drinks a screwdriver too.
- Oh, really? Does she?

822
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:06,877
Does she have blue eyes
and a big ass like you? Huh?

823
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:08,632
I bet she has a big ass.

824
00:41:08,720 --> 00:41:10,358
- Big mouth!
- Yeah.

825
00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:14,200
Did he just flick
a lime in my drink?

826
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:16,994
Did he just fucking...
It's a fucking screwdriver!

827
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:18,296
You don't flick a fucking lime!

828
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:19,776
You don't have
lime in a screwdriver!

829
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,553
Hey, motherfucker!
Let's go, fucking Pancho Villa!

830
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:26,155
I'm gonna come back there,
and I'll fucking make you my bitch, man!

831
00:41:26,240 --> 00:41:28,879
Don't act like you don't like me
just because I got good hair!

832
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,713
Now he's giving me
the old-fashioned stare down!

833
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,274
All right, that's a
fucking stare down!

834
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:35,416
Dude, you're staring, he's cool.

835
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,296
Oh, no, he's not cool!
No, he's not fucking cool!

836
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,056
You're back there having
a fucking good time!

837
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:40,672
I'll come show you a good time.

838
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,194
I'll come over the bar
and show you a good time.

839
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:45,874
- Let's go. Let's go.
- I'm not gonna do anything.

840
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:49,919
Hey! No, you fucking stay.

841
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:00,040
Back off! Don't touch me!
Don't touch me!

842
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:10,592
Out of the club!
Right the fuck now! Get them out!

843
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:12,511
All baseball players
out of here! I mean it!

844
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,670
Let's go! Come on!

845
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,312
Get them out! Right now.
Get them out.

846
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:21,515
Don't bring him back here again,
you get me?

847
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,154
Let's go, boys.
Let's go! Hey!

848
00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:25,753
Keep walking.

849
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:27,990
I'm gonna fucking
defend myself!

850
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,071
No! One more chance!

851
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,914
Fuck you! Fuck you,
you jackoffs!

852
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,753
Bunch of fucking numb-nuts!

853
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,151
Suck my dick, man!

854
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,199
- You fucking asshole!
- Stupid fucking asshole!

855
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:53,633
Don't bring your ass around here!

856
00:42:53,720 --> 00:42:56,109
Bunch of fucking numb-nuts!

857
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:59,510
- What the fuck, Niles!
- Well, that was ugly.

858
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:02,398
I don't know, just based on
an outsider's perspective,

859
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,152
totally avoidable.

860
00:43:04,240 --> 00:43:06,196
Well, I'm a fucking
raw dog, all right?

861
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:07,280
Raw dog!

862
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:10,636
Anybody who fucks with me,
they don't get fucked with back!

863
00:43:10,720 --> 00:43:11,948
They get fucking killed!

864
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:13,256
The only thing
you killed tonight

865
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:15,157
was the prospect
of any of us getting laid!

866
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:17,635
Your fucking junkyard dog routine
from fucking Detroit

867
00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:18,789
might make you feel tough,

868
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:20,896
but it's not helping out any
of your fucking teammates.

869
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:22,638
Watch that shit in the future.

870
00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:24,517
It's crazy we're fucking
defending this guy.

871
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:26,477
It's all so damn tribal.

872
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:29,028
It's the pack mentality,
animal instincts.

873
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:30,633
All the adrenaline!

874
00:43:30,720 --> 00:43:33,280
Guys. Hey, guys. I got a new plan.

875
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:34,873
We're gonna shift our focus

876
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:36,720
from disco snatch
to country poon. All right?

877
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:39,997
No cover, free beer till 11:00
at Guaranteed Wholesome.

878
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:43,834
Okay, fucking no cover, free beer!
We can't afford not to go!

879
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:46,832
Fuck you, Sound Machine!
Let's fucking go!

880
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:48,440
- Fuck you, Sound Machine!
- Whoo!

881
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:51,950
I got seven of my bucks back!
Ha-ha! Let's do it!

882
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:53,712
No, no, no, no!

883
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:55,216
I don't know where the hell
you think you're going.

884
00:43:55,240 --> 00:43:57,360
You sitting this one out
with that "raw dog" bullshit.

885
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,391
- Sit!
- Heel, boy. Heel, boy.

886
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:02,031
- Fetch.
- Yeah!

887
00:44:03,240 --> 00:44:05,470
I get it. I get it. I get it!

888
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:07,198
I'll fucking go home.

889
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,157
I got shit to do.
I'll do some pushups.

890
00:44:09,240 --> 00:44:10,468
How's that sound?

891
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:13,552
I'll do some pushups, do some abs.
I'll come back looking awesome!

892
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:15,433
I'll read a book.

893
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:17,516
Fuck it! I'll fucking run home.

894
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:19,636
Yeah! Fuck it!

895
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:20,988
Fuck it!

896
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,469
Hey, check your pillows, man!

897
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:26,154
- What the fuck does that mean?
- Fuck if I know.

898
00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:28,800
Fuck's that mean?
Let's fucking go.

899
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:30,672
I don't know about this
country bar, man.

900
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:31,760
Wait, wait, wait.

901
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:33,416
What the Charlie Pride
are you talking about?

902
00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:35,160
We're just gonna do
a quick wardrobe change,

903
00:44:35,240 --> 00:44:36,468
and we're there.

904
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:37,715
All right, I gotta say,

905
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,075
I hate all this Cotton-Eyed Joe,

906
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:42,276
"Looking for love
in all the wrong places."

907
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:44,920
What, Disco Boy now wearing
a cowboy hat and boots and shit?

908
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:46,353
- Yeah.
- It's unbelievable

909
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:48,510
that's trendy now everywhere!

910
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:50,477
Does that mean you're not going?

911
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:53,508
I didn't say that.

912
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:25,074
Crank it up, sweetheart!
Come on, baby!

913
00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:27,593
All right, crank it up!

914
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:28,760
Whoo!

915
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:31,474
You're not detecting
an anti-pitcher bias around here?

916
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:32,560
No, man.

917
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:33,993
- No?
- No!

918
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:35,672
- I sure as hell am.
- Mmm.

919
00:45:36,720 --> 00:45:39,917
Well, let me tell you
something, Jake.

920
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,036
It is lonely out on the bump, man.

921
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:45,391
You know, hitters,
they got no idea what that's like.

922
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:48,392
They don't know
the first thing about it, you know?

923
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:50,755
It's the most important part
of the game, hands down,

924
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:53,593
and yet it is a complete
mystery to them.

925
00:45:54,240 --> 00:45:55,798
Yeah, no shit,

926
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:58,269
but it's almost
like they view us as a necessary evil.

927
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:01,153
Well, yeah, man,
we kind of are, you know?

928
00:46:01,240 --> 00:46:04,277
Mmm. But that doesn't
make them bad guys.

929
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:08,638
You know, they're just...
They're a little scared of us. You know?

930
00:46:08,720 --> 00:46:12,190
We're fucking weird, man!
We're different!

931
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:14,758
And the trick is, what's the trick?

932
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:16,592
I don't know. Tell me.

933
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:19,797
The trick is, you can't fight it.

934
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:21,672
You gotta accept it.

935
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:25,917
You gotta fucking embrace
your inner fucking strange, man.

936
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:27,877
Just be fucking weird, you know?

937
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:33,875
And when you do that,
you bring who you are,

938
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:36,952
never who they want.

939
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:41,158
And that, my friend,
is when it gets fun.

940
00:46:41,240 --> 00:46:43,390
So, all of y'all play on
the baseball team?

941
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:45,357
Yeah, we got all nine
positions covered.

942
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:46,475
And then some.

943
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:48,869
This one,
this one loves catching our balls,

944
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:50,029
don't you, Plum?

945
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:52,151
He's an animal husbandry major.

946
00:46:52,240 --> 00:46:53,275
What?

947
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:55,056
I'm actually studying
to be a cunnilinguist.

948
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:56,399
Ooh, what's that?

949
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:59,358
It's a major you can
actually practice before graduating.

950
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:02,830
Sometimes I feel like I'm just,
you know, buried in my work,

951
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:04,976
but I feel like
it's important to give back, you know?

952
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,195
- <i>Y'all know what time it is!</i>
- Oh, my God!

953
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:09,555
<i>It's time to grab
your partner dosey-do</i>

954
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:13,229
<i>'cause here we come</i>
with Cotton-Eyed Joe!

955
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,235
- <i>Hey, what'd you say?</i>
- Bullshit!

956
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:34,231
<i>- Y'all say what?</i>
- Bullshit!

957
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:36,788
<i>- You're steppin' in what?</i>
- Bullshit!

958
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,350
<i>- Hey, what'd you say?</i>
- Bullshit!

959
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:58,431
<i>- Stepped in what?</i>
- Bullshit!

960
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:00,596
<i>- A big pile of what?</i>
- Bullshit!

961
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:01,749
<i>Cotton-Eyed Joe.</i>

962
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:07,519
Damn you, Jake!

963
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:11,388
- Eight up! Eight up! Let's go! Let's do it!
- Eight-eight.

964
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:14,679
Okay. Let's go!

965
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:16,159
Get the ball now.

966
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:19,035
- Whoa, fuck!
- That's for you, babe!

967
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:21,554
- It's our ball.
- Damn it!

968
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:23,710
- Detroit?
- What? What?

969
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:25,279
Ball in!

970
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:28,789
Night and day!

971
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:33,117
See, the perfect rim ingredients
keep the drink on its toes.

972
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:35,714
It simultaneously
complements then conflicts.

973
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:38,712
What I like to do
is a little sugar, cayenne pepper,

974
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:41,951
you add a little
whiskey, mmm, a little lime.

975
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:43,268
- Finn?
- Yeah?

976
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:46,033
Hey, yeah,
I just want a fucking drink, man.

977
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:49,816
Pardon me for trying
to class up the joint.

978
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:51,159
Don't get low.

979
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:57,113
That's right, freshman.

980
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:59,111
Yeah, you keep up that
funky-ass spin shit.

981
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:00,400
I've got you figured out, son.

982
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:01,799
Yeah, that's just what I want.

983
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:04,713
You thinking you got me clocked,
then I set you up.

984
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:06,631
I'll let you know
when I feel threatened.

985
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:10,879
You feeling threatened yet?

986
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:14,717
All right, smartass.

987
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,877
- 19-17.
- Actually, it's 17 -19.

988
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:23,712
Thank you, Nesbit!
17 -19, is that better?

989
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,394
Uh... No, I'm scared now,
but, yeah...

990
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:27,480
Can we fucking play now?

991
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:41,954
God damn it!

992
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:45,311
Glen, get your head
out of your fucking ass! Let's go!

993
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:48,153
- 20-17!
- 17 -point.

994
00:49:48,240 --> 00:49:51,391
I swear to fucking God!
Shut your mouth!

995
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:53,598
17 -point!

996
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:01,976
Hey, good game, man.
Let's play again.

997
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,513
Fuck!

998
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:04,669
Fuck.

999
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:11,029
Stupid fucking game!

1000
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:12,917
- My dad was a table...
- Fuck off.

1001
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:14,797
Now I gotta put out
that fucking fire.

1002
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:16,800
- That dude needs to relax.
- Thanks, Jake.

1003
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:18,313
I told you so, man.

1004
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:20,755
He broke the fucking paddle.
Look at that shit.

1005
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:23,434
Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake.

1006
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:24,589
Here.

1007
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:28,195
Uh-oh. If things calm down,
Nez, you're next, bro.

1008
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:29,679
- Fuck!
- You're up, man.

1009
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,176
I don't think
you could use that one, though.

1010
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,668
He does not like losing, at all!

1011
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:38,952
Lot of <i>Twilight Zones,</i> man.

1012
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:40,871
Yeah.

1013
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:43,394
Almost every single episode.

1014
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:47,519
Recorded them all
over the last year or so.

1015
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:49,296
Yeah, you got that one
where the lady,

1016
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:51,550
she's getting the surgery
to correct how ugly she is?

1017
00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:52,993
- Yeah!
- So she gets surgery,

1018
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:54,718
but it turns out
that she's beautiful,

1019
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:57,234
and everyone else is,
like, hideous.

1020
00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:59,197
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, dude.

1021
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:00,920
- You know what that's called?
- No.

1022
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:03,992
- "The Eye of the Beholder."
- Yeah, yeah, that one.

1023
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:08,238
Yeah, Season 2, Episode 5,
if I'm not mistaken.

1024
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:10,078
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1025
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:12,310
Whoa there, Willoughby.

1026
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,197
There's no way
you're gonna suck that down

1027
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:15,872
in one hit, man.

1028
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:19,430
Yeah. Yeah.
There's gonna be too much smoke.

1029
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:23,308
You know, like, there's not even
enough room in your body

1030
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:26,039
for the amount of smoke
there's gonna be.

1031
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:27,394
Really?

1032
00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:30,990
Well, take notes, boys,

1033
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:34,470
'cause I grew up on two rivers.

1034
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:37,472
All right, I got fucking swimmer's lungs.
I'm a river rat.

1035
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:39,039
And don't forget, he does have

1036
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:41,270
a double chamber
cooling system on that thing.

1037
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:43,874
I don't care if he grew up
on 40 fucking rivers,

1038
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:45,279
it's just not happening.

1039
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:47,510
Okay.

1040
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:52,071
Okay. Well, get ready.

1041
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:03,440
Oh!

1042
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,319
Oh, shit, no, no, no. Is it?

1043
00:52:09,720 --> 00:52:12,757
- Oh, my God.
- Un-fucking real, man.

1044
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:15,115
- Shit!
- Fucking unreal.

1045
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:16,713
Super-human!

1046
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:20,478
Wow, man.

1047
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:24,760
Fucking mahogany rush, man.

1048
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:28,875
Oh, you know,
I don't wanna be presumptuous.

1049
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:30,996
I know that I only
have been here for a few days,

1050
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:34,072
but I'm pretty sure that
that is a new school record.

1051
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:37,315
Bullshit. Bullshit. Just...

1052
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:40,073
Let's break that
school record right fucking now.

1053
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:41,918
Oh, yeah? All right.

1054
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:43,871
- I don't know, dude.
- Go for it, man.

1055
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:48,311
God. Listen to this song.

1056
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:51,679
Listen to this
progression here, okay?

1057
00:52:52,240 --> 00:52:53,593
Listen to how it goes up.

1058
00:52:53,720 --> 00:52:58,236
It steps up from one moment to
another and leads you there, just...

1059
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:07,759
Oh, yes. I mean, look,

1060
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:11,196
you can play an E pentatonic
scale at 100 miles an hour

1061
00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:14,033
till somebody's ears burn off,
you can learn that, right?

1062
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:17,430
But finding the tangents
within the framework,

1063
00:53:18,720 --> 00:53:20,631
therein lies the artistry, man.

1064
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:25,354
You know, a fucking
bunch of dudes jump around on stage,

1065
00:53:25,440 --> 00:53:27,715
jerking each other off,
you know, in spandex,

1066
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:29,552
isn't fucking music.

1067
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:35,873
I don't know, man.
I kinda like Van Halen.

1068
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:39,635
Well, yeah, Plum, you do.
And you know why you do?

1069
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:42,957
Because corporate America
is shoving something down your throat

1070
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:44,229
and making you believe it,

1071
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:46,151
because that's what
they want you to believe.

1072
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:50,239
I mean, guys,
it's about finding out who you are

1073
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:52,718
in the space

1074
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:55,951
in-between the notes
that they're offering you.

1075
00:53:56,800 --> 00:54:00,554
I mean, you gotta tune in, man.
You gotta tune in.

1076
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:04,633
You know,
and don't be afraid

1077
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:07,035
to let the experience find you.

1078
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:13,070
It's like Carl Sagan says, man,

1079
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:16,596
"The beauty of a living thing
isn't about the atoms that go into it,

1080
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:19,148
"it's how those atoms
are put together."

1081
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:24,752
I mean, language, fucking language.
What is language?

1082
00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:28,071
Language is a construct, man.
You know?

1083
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:30,270
And we used to be telepathic.

1084
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:32,237
Humans were telepathic, man.

1085
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:34,914
We could just...
Right here. You know?

1086
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:36,837
The fucking Mayans knew it, man.

1087
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,070
The Druids fucking knew it.

1088
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:42,430
And you think
the way things are going now

1089
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:45,034
that we're ever
gonna get that back?

1090
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:48,953
- Fucking no.
- No.

1091
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:51,634
Do you guys wanna try
a little telepathic shit?

1092
00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:53,358
Let's do it.

1093
00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:56,358
Okay, lock in. Lock in.

1094
00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:59,396
- You locked in? All right.
- Yeah.

1095
00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:15,158
- What am I thinking about?
- Baseball.

1096
00:55:15,240 --> 00:55:18,232
- Having a tail.
- Cereal?

1097
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:20,149
Fuck.

1098
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:22,759
Dude, I was thinking
about sharks.

1099
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:25,176
- Fuck!
- I was thinking about sharks.

1100
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:26,952
Sharks have tails.

1101
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:28,256
That's a good point.
That's a good point.

1102
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:31,272
I wish I had a tail.
Fuck, that'd be awesome.

1103
00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:34,671
- Oh, my God.
- Fuck you!

1104
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:35,829
I'll take one.

1105
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:37,751
Sharpshooter status,
right here.

1106
00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:39,751
Coming at you! Coming at you!

1107
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:42,715
Been working out.

1108
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:45,792
Hey! Man-child here
thinks he can take me.

1109
00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:50,029
Even though he knows
I'm the reigning knuckles champ.

1110
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:52,873
Two years in a row. Undefeated.

1111
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:55,074
Bitch.

1112
00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:58,838
Hey, have you noticed everything
around here's a competition, huh?

1113
00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:02,633
Even taking hits from bongs.

1114
00:56:02,720 --> 00:56:05,632
- Look at you, ping-pong pimp.
- Yeah!

1115
00:56:05,720 --> 00:56:08,280
You see that back there though?
Mac almost took my head off.

1116
00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:09,628
Hey, look,

1117
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:12,473
if Mac wanted to
take your head off with that paddle,

1118
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:14,033
he would have.

1119
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:16,350
All right, man,
he just don't like losing at anything.

1120
00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:18,078
None of us do.

1121
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:19,354
Fuck yeah!

1122
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:22,756
Okay, look, that's just, what,
Willoughby, borderline insane?

1123
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:25,274
- About there?
- Yeah, border. Borderline.

1124
00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:27,556
Well, you notice
how everybody was somewhat courteous

1125
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:29,153
- on the first day or so?
- Yeah.

1126
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:31,197
See, now the gloves are off.

1127
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:33,874
All of our true
assholish nature is emerging.

1128
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:35,359
Ah. Not very healthy.

1129
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:37,630
Until we get out
on the field, Jakie.

1130
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:41,198
This, this, all of this,

1131
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,136
this is why we're
one of the best teams in the nation, man.

1132
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:46,071
You get a bunch
of competitors together...

1133
00:56:46,160 --> 00:56:49,596
- Yeah.
- ...and you're addicted to winning.

1134
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:51,136
That's a championship team
right there...

1135
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:53,310
- Oh, I see.
- ...flicking each other's knuckles.

1136
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:01,792
- All right.
- Damn!

1137
00:57:01,880 --> 00:57:03,757
That's all swolled up.

1138
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:05,956
That's gonna be erupting
like Mount St. Helens

1139
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:07,712
or some shit, man.

1140
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:11,073
You had enough?

1141
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:14,336
See, you can tell a lot
about somebody

1142
00:57:14,360 --> 00:57:15,816
from these stupid
little competitions.

1143
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:16,840
Really?

1144
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:18,791
Yeah, something's
always revealed, like...

1145
00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:21,314
Are you a competitor?
Are you a gamer?

1146
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:25,075
You know, can you find a way
to overcome all obstacles

1147
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:27,435
to practically will yourself to victory.

1148
00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:29,511
Or, are you a...

1149
00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:30,953
- Fuck it!
- ...quitter?

1150
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:32,416
I'm fucking done, all right!

1151
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:34,795
- Folded like a lawn chair.
- Yup. Yup, yup, yup.

1152
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:36,950
- Good game, man.
- You can't...

1153
00:57:37,040 --> 00:57:38,758
No, you can't beat me
twice in a row!

1154
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:40,637
I know that for a fucking fact!

1155
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:43,359
And it's best two out of three, okay?

1156
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:44,635
Them's the rule, Brums!

1157
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:46,790
- Okay, man.
- Okay, all right!

1158
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:48,336
Give me my hat, all right?

1159
00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:50,112
Stop laughing, Coma!
It's not fucking funny!

1160
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:52,270
Tomorrow, same time, all right?

1161
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:53,719
Sure thing.

1162
00:57:53,880 --> 00:57:55,950
Stop laughing, Dale!

1163
00:57:57,400 --> 00:57:58,696
Hey, you're still the champ!

1164
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:00,312
Fuck off, Brum!

1165
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:01,536
You'll always be the champ, Nesie.

1166
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:02,629
Shut up. Let's go.

1167
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:05,080
- Hey, did you guys see me win?
- Put your fucking hands up.

1168
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:08,315
Who are these people?

1169
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:10,231
Like this guy with the backpack?

1170
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:13,356
And this dude on the porch?

1171
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:15,990
Like, I know what we're doing here.

1172
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:18,230
You know, we're playing baseball.

1173
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:20,880
What are all these
other guys doing here?

1174
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:22,056
Yeah, I think that, too.

1175
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:23,880
Like, what would it be like
to go through life

1176
00:58:23,920 --> 00:58:26,514
knowing there's no way
you'd ever play pro ball?

1177
00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:28,556
Exactly.

1178
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:32,679
All these people
never be anything more than

1179
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:35,832
some dude doing some job,

1180
00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:38,275
just like everybody else.

1181
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:39,395
Bradford!

1182
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:41,515
Ha-ha!

1183
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:44,160
Holy shit! Justin?

1184
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:46,196
- Hey!
- What's up, man?

1185
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:48,000
- How you doing?
- This is where you living?

1186
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:50,196
As of right now,
but hey, don't let them know.

1187
00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:52,191
These are my teammates.
Plum, Finn, and Coma.

1188
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:54,840
- What's going on, fellas?
- Hey, guys, this is Justin.

1189
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:56,576
We used to play ball
in high school together.

1190
00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:59,034
- What's up?
- What's happening, man?

1191
00:58:59,120 --> 00:59:00,872
Not much. But hey,
I'm loving this new look.

1192
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:02,188
- Oh, yeah?
- This new 'do!

1193
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:04,157
I love this. What, is it pledge week?

1194
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:05,719
Yeah. Fuck you, too.

1195
00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:07,256
- Come on, let's get a beer. Come in.
- Yeah.

1196
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:09,191
Hey, you guys want a beer?
Come on.

1197
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:11,191
- Why not?
- Why?

1198
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:13,120
This is my old
high school buddy, Jake.

1199
00:59:14,240 --> 00:59:15,719
Hey, you still with Gretchen?

1200
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:17,313
Fuck Gretchen!

1201
00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:23,870
Hey, you gotta
walk me through this, man.

1202
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:26,554
What, you just wake up
one morning just fucking...

1203
00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:28,073
Nah, man.
It's as simple as this.

1204
00:59:28,160 --> 00:59:30,549
You go to a show,
meet a couple of cute girls,

1205
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:32,232
get drunk, later that night

1206
00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:35,120
they're chopping bits of your hair off,
giving you real bangs.

1207
00:59:35,480 --> 00:59:38,040
Used to, I'd be like,
"No, don't do that."

1208
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:39,348
But now that I don't play

1209
00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:40,736
on a team anymore...

1210
00:59:40,760 --> 00:59:43,354
...or I'm doing anything
particularly "respectable,"

1211
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:44,668
I'm like, fuck it!

1212
00:59:44,760 --> 00:59:46,716
Whatever, man.

1213
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:48,976
Mmm. Oh,
we're going to a show soon.

1214
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:50,296
Man, there are six bands in town,

1215
00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:52,151
some from L.A.,
some from Austin.

1216
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:54,000
We're gonna go in a bit.
You guys wanna join?

1217
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:56,551
Uh, we've got
our party tonight.

1218
00:59:56,640 --> 00:59:59,598
Yeah, yeah, we should
probably set up for it, right?

1219
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:01,656
No, it's not till later.
Yeah. No, we're just walking around,

1220
01:00:01,680 --> 01:00:02,776
heading to the Student Center.

1221
01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:06,588
Student Center? Come with us.
Come on, we'll fix you up!

1222
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:07,829
You guys down for that?

1223
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:09,000
Uh...

1224
01:00:09,200 --> 01:00:10,269
Finn?

1225
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:13,351
- Of course we're down!
- Yeah!

1226
01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:16,432
Come on, man. What about
Costello or the Talking Heads?

1227
01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:18,431
They're great. Devo and The Cars,

1228
01:00:18,520 --> 01:00:20,476
look, there's a lot of
decent stuff out there.

1229
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:22,835
We got a whole
'nother thing going on around here.

1230
01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:25,115
This? This is ours.

1231
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:27,668
At least take
the sunglasses off, man.

1232
01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:29,193
You look like a fucking narc.

1233
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:30,736
Hey, I don't think
we really fit in here.

1234
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:33,638
No, no, you don't fit in.
Okay, I told you to change.

1235
01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:35,016
Will you at least untuck your shirt?

1236
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:36,393
You look like a Bible salesman.

1237
01:00:36,560 --> 01:00:38,357
These people could
really use a Bible!

1238
01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:40,112
Got both of them.

1239
01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:41,275
Whoo!

1240
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:00,911
I'm starting to have
an identity crisis here.

1241
01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:04,193
What are you talking about?

1242
01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:07,072
Look at us, man.

1243
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:08,896
The last three nights,
we've danced at a disco,

1244
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:10,638
total mindless disco music,

1245
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:12,472
danced the <i>Cotton-Eyed Joe</i>
in kicker attire,

1246
01:01:13,120 --> 01:01:14,951
and here we are, punks for a night.

1247
01:01:16,560 --> 01:01:19,199
It sort of begs the question
about who we really are.

1248
01:01:19,760 --> 01:01:21,240
Are you insecure
about the duck feet?

1249
01:01:21,320 --> 01:01:22,576
So insecure about
the duck feet.

1250
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:23,953
The duck feet look great, dude.

1251
01:01:24,040 --> 01:01:26,235
- Serious? Promise?
- Yeah, they look great.

1252
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:28,117
Look, I'll tell you who we are.

1253
01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:29,656
We're a couple of guys
who are gonna do

1254
01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:32,069
whatever it takes to get laid.
That's who we are.

1255
01:01:32,160 --> 01:01:33,513
It just seems a little phony.

1256
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:36,876
It's not phony. Okay?
It's adaptive.

1257
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:38,056
All right, think about this.

1258
01:01:38,080 --> 01:01:40,548
There are animals, salmon, spiders

1259
01:01:40,640 --> 01:01:43,518
that will literally die
in the process of mating.

1260
01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:44,919
I mean, what are we doing?

1261
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:46,856
We're switching around
our wardrobe a little bit.

1262
01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:48,791
It's camouflage!

1263
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:50,936
You need to stop thinking so much.

1264
01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:52,040
You're fucking yourself up.

1265
01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:54,634
Oh! Dude, look at you, man.
You're one to talk.

1266
01:01:54,720 --> 01:01:55,936
I actually don't think that much.

1267
01:01:55,960 --> 01:01:59,350
I actually don't think at all.
I just, you know, I talk a lot.

1268
01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:01,908
This is the jazz improv.
You're invited.

1269
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:06,112
- Uh-oh.
- What?

1270
01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:07,514
Listen.

1271
01:02:08,760 --> 01:02:09,875
Hear that?

1272
01:02:10,280 --> 01:02:12,555
That's the Gilligan's Island
theme song!

1273
01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:13,755
Yes, it is.

1274
01:02:13,840 --> 01:02:15,717
You can make a punk song
out of that?

1275
01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:17,836
Coming full circle.

1276
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:19,757
It's all coming around.

1277
01:02:30,440 --> 01:02:31,475
Are you liking it?

1278
01:02:31,600 --> 01:02:33,556
I'm liking it. Shall we go?

1279
01:03:01,480 --> 01:03:03,038
This might be
our best batch.

1280
01:03:03,120 --> 01:03:05,588
This is gonna be the best ever.

1281
01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:10,995
That's some pussy shit.
It tastes like fruit punch.

1282
01:03:11,080 --> 01:03:13,913
Well, that's the sign
of a good coon dog punch, Coma.

1283
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:16,833
No, no, not until
Coma gets in here.

1284
01:03:16,920 --> 01:03:17,955
All right,

1285
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:19,792
- so this is about done.
- Mmm-hmm.

1286
01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:22,038
What I need you
to do is take that sifter,

1287
01:03:22,120 --> 01:03:23,838
and then pour
about half of that.

1288
01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:25,399
- Okay.
- Just about half.

1289
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:27,075
Into the bowl.

1290
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:04,518
Brain dead, let's go!

1291
01:04:05,360 --> 01:04:08,591
All right! Jake!
Where you fucking been, man?

1292
01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:09,715
What's up?

1293
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:11,392
You got some catching up to do.

1294
01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:13,072
Get in here! You're up!

1295
01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:15,270
Go, go, go.

1296
01:04:15,360 --> 01:04:18,033
- Oh, my God.
- Oh! Hey!

1297
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:20,350
Welcome to
the fucking party, Jake!

1298
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:22,158
Yeah, baby!

1299
01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:24,435
You know what
they call me?

1300
01:04:24,520 --> 01:04:26,351
The raw dog.

1301
01:04:26,440 --> 01:04:28,158
You wanna know why?

1302
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:31,913
'Cause I'm the fucking
raw dog, man.

1303
01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:33,877
It's not about
the ingredients,

1304
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:36,599
it's about the way
the ingredients make you feel.

1305
01:04:36,680 --> 01:04:38,193
The experience.

1306
01:04:39,360 --> 01:04:44,514
That's why I say,
"Indulge in temptation."

1307
01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:46,397
I'm not watching.

1308
01:04:49,960 --> 01:04:51,359
- Are you serious?
- Ow!

1309
01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:55,598
Okay.

1310
01:04:55,680 --> 01:04:59,912
Chug it, Justin!
Go, go, go, go, go!

1311
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:01,792
Whoo-hoo!

1312
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:10,669
- Whoo!
- Yeah! Here we go.

1313
01:05:15,480 --> 01:05:16,480
Oh!

1314
01:05:17,880 --> 01:05:19,677
Yes.

1315
01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:21,120
So, where is the flag?

1316
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:22,388
Right there, Volkswagen.

1317
01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:24,317
Oh, there's the flag.

1318
01:05:24,440 --> 01:05:26,635
- Ready?
- Aim...

1319
01:05:27,440 --> 01:05:28,839
Fire.

1320
01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:30,515
Oh!

1321
01:05:30,600 --> 01:05:32,079
Wow.

1322
01:05:33,840 --> 01:05:35,056
- You are a natural.
- Thank you.

1323
01:05:35,080 --> 01:05:36,496
- I don't know. I don't know.
- Let's go!

1324
01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:40,256
Come on, no one on their
deathbed is filled with regrets

1325
01:05:40,280 --> 01:05:42,350
of the things they've done.

1326
01:05:43,440 --> 01:05:46,159
It's those things they didn't do.

1327
01:05:46,240 --> 01:05:49,869
You're not gonna let this be
one of those things, are you?

1328
01:05:50,920 --> 01:05:51,955
I guess not.

1329
01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:53,473
Of course not!

1330
01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:55,435
Yeah?

1331
01:05:55,520 --> 01:05:57,875
Competitors ready? Go!

1332
01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:03,193
- Yeah.
- Go!

1333
01:06:20,080 --> 01:06:21,832
- Yeah!
- Whoo!

1334
01:06:30,240 --> 01:06:31,559
Okay, baby!

1335
01:07:00,120 --> 01:07:02,111
- Let's go!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!

1336
01:07:02,200 --> 01:07:03,269
Let's go!

1337
01:07:29,560 --> 01:07:31,039
- Phone.
- What, man?

1338
01:07:31,120 --> 01:07:33,031
Dude, some chick
on the line, man.

1339
01:07:33,120 --> 01:07:34,314
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1340
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:36,994
Said she wanted
to squat on your boner.

1341
01:07:40,560 --> 01:07:41,879
Hello?

1342
01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:43,029
Hi.

1343
01:07:43,160 --> 01:07:45,276
Is this the guy that left
the flowers on my door?

1344
01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:47,237
Yeah.

1345
01:07:47,320 --> 01:07:48,355
<i>Yeah.</i>

1346
01:07:48,480 --> 01:07:50,914
Hey, you're the quiet guy
in the back seat, Jake.

1347
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:53,468
Yeah. Yeah. Hi.

1348
01:07:53,560 --> 01:07:58,350
Hi. It's the quote-unquote
"auburn-haired girl in 307."

1349
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:01,036
That was just so there
wouldn't be any confusion,

1350
01:08:01,160 --> 01:08:04,470
but, uh, wow, I'm glad you called.
That was quick.

1351
01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:06,990
Yeah, no, I mean,
it was the least I could do

1352
01:08:07,080 --> 01:08:09,799
after you went
to all that trouble.

1353
01:08:09,880 --> 01:08:12,440
How did you know
what room I was in?

1354
01:08:12,760 --> 01:08:15,797
I'm an Investigative Journalism major.

1355
01:08:16,600 --> 01:08:18,636
I have very special ways.

1356
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:21,792
So, uh, I guess you know
my name then.

1357
01:08:21,880 --> 01:08:24,235
Yes. As soon as you tell me.

1358
01:08:25,440 --> 01:08:28,716
Huh. Well, Jake, it's so interesting,
'cause I feel like there...

1359
01:08:28,840 --> 01:08:32,753
Investigative Journalism
is not an official major here,

1360
01:08:32,840 --> 01:08:34,717
but my name is Beverly.

1361
01:08:34,800 --> 01:08:35,915
Hello, Beverly.

1362
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:39,197
Hey. So, what do you study?

1363
01:08:40,040 --> 01:08:41,720
What, the old
"What's your major" question?

1364
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:43,716
Is that really
what you're asking me?

1365
01:08:43,800 --> 01:08:45,028
I don't know.

1366
01:08:45,120 --> 01:08:46,314
Hey, that's not really fair.

1367
01:08:46,400 --> 01:08:48,960
I took special care.
I didn't say that word, okay?

1368
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:52,194
I'm just... I'm curious.
Maybe you study

1369
01:08:52,280 --> 01:08:54,555
poetry, with that...

1370
01:08:54,640 --> 01:08:57,074
...charming Rod McKuen bit
you quoted in your note.

1371
01:08:57,200 --> 01:08:59,156
Ah, I'm pretty sure
that'd be Whitman.

1372
01:08:59,280 --> 01:09:01,350
I was just testing you.
You pass.

1373
01:09:01,440 --> 01:09:03,317
A. A-minus.

1374
01:09:03,400 --> 01:09:07,678
So, what do you, uh,
concentrate on here?

1375
01:09:07,760 --> 01:09:13,312
I concentrate on
theater and dance, performing arts.

1376
01:09:13,400 --> 01:09:14,628
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.

1377
01:09:14,720 --> 01:09:15,948
That's so cool, wow.

1378
01:09:16,560 --> 01:09:18,835
What do you do? I mean,
you didn't really answer me.

1379
01:09:18,920 --> 01:09:21,354
You just made fun of me.

1380
01:09:21,440 --> 01:09:24,193
Oh, I'm, uh,
I'm on the baseball team.

1381
01:09:24,280 --> 01:09:25,474
- Really?
- Yeah.

1382
01:09:25,560 --> 01:09:26,913
- No.
- Yeah.

1383
01:09:27,360 --> 01:09:28,416
You don't really seem like it.

1384
01:09:28,440 --> 01:09:29,475
Seem like what?

1385
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:33,309
Aren't most athletes kind of...

1386
01:09:36,800 --> 01:09:38,995
- Kind of dumb?
- No, no, no.

1387
01:09:39,080 --> 01:09:40,593
No, not dumb necessarily.

1388
01:09:41,280 --> 01:09:43,999
Single-minded, and...

1389
01:09:46,280 --> 01:09:47,576
- Okay, dumb.
- You know, actually,

1390
01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:49,477
there's probably
the same ratio of intelligence

1391
01:09:49,560 --> 01:09:51,516
on my baseball team
as there is anywhere else.

1392
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:52,828
Which isn't very much.

1393
01:09:52,920 --> 01:09:54,194
Unfortunately true.

1394
01:09:54,280 --> 01:09:56,396
- Hey, Jake.
- Yeah?

1395
01:09:56,480 --> 01:09:59,313
I kinda hate talking on the phone
for extended periods of time.

1396
01:09:59,440 --> 01:10:01,590
It feels so high school.

1397
01:10:01,680 --> 01:10:03,875
- Yeah. Yeah, I know.
- Right? Yeah.

1398
01:10:03,960 --> 01:10:05,936
Yeah, and now that
I've determined I don't really think

1399
01:10:05,960 --> 01:10:08,428
you're the Hillside
Strangler anymore, um...

1400
01:10:09,960 --> 01:10:11,313
I think.

1401
01:10:11,400 --> 01:10:14,358
Do you, uh, maybe wanna continue
this conversation in person?

1402
01:10:14,480 --> 01:10:16,072
- I don't know.
- Yeah.

1403
01:10:16,160 --> 01:10:18,037
- Yeah? Okay.
- Yeah.

1404
01:10:18,120 --> 01:10:20,429
Well, I'm around
for the next couple of hours. Oh...

1405
01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:24,229
Out, actually, for the rest of the day
and most of the night, though.

1406
01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:26,595
Okay, so should I come over
like right now?

1407
01:10:27,840 --> 01:10:29,034
If you want.

1408
01:10:29,160 --> 01:10:30,275
Cool, yeah, okay.

1409
01:10:30,360 --> 01:10:31,616
I'll head over pretty soon then.

1410
01:10:31,640 --> 01:10:33,710
Okay. Pretty soon.
Then I'll see you then.

1411
01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:35,216
- Okay, cool. Yeah, see you.
- Pretty soon.

1412
01:10:35,240 --> 01:10:36,389
Okay.

1413
01:10:37,320 --> 01:10:38,719
Fuck.

1414
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:42,616
So, what's your strategy?
What's the game plan?

1415
01:10:42,640 --> 01:10:44,676
Don't tell me you're flying blind
into this thing.

1416
01:10:44,800 --> 01:10:47,553
Dude, I don't know.
I mean, she's cool.

1417
01:10:47,680 --> 01:10:49,113
She's smart, you know?

1418
01:10:49,200 --> 01:10:51,280
Not one of these airheads
we got running around here.

1419
01:10:51,680 --> 01:10:54,274
Okay. Well, then just
don't come across like a dumb jock.

1420
01:10:54,680 --> 01:10:55,999
All right,
her antennas are out.

1421
01:10:56,120 --> 01:10:59,192
She's gonna be
looking for signs of dip-shitification.

1422
01:10:59,280 --> 01:11:00,720
Yeah. You trying
to make me nervous?

1423
01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:03,157
No, like they say,
pressure's a choice.

1424
01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:06,776
Well, you gotta approach it like
getting out on the mound,

1425
01:11:06,800 --> 01:11:08,597
taking an at bat. Yeah.

1426
01:11:08,680 --> 01:11:10,671
Put everything else
out of your mind.

1427
01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:11,994
Hey, Coma.

1428
01:11:12,160 --> 01:11:13,536
Just let natural ability
take over.

1429
01:11:13,560 --> 01:11:14,560
Mmm-hmm.

1430
01:11:14,680 --> 01:11:16,830
Assuming, you know,
you have natural ability.

1431
01:11:16,960 --> 01:11:19,952
Ah. A, fuck you. B, bye.

1432
01:11:21,640 --> 01:11:25,076
Ah. C, she say
if her roommate's gonna be there?

1433
01:11:25,160 --> 01:11:27,151
D, I don't know. Why?

1434
01:11:27,240 --> 01:11:29,117
E, 'cause I think
I'm gonna, you know,

1435
01:11:29,200 --> 01:11:31,360
grant her the old Finnegasm.
Here, I'm coming with you.

1436
01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:32,958
- No, F that and you.
- No, Jake, Jake!

1437
01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:34,189
Come on, Jake!

1438
01:11:36,200 --> 01:11:39,317
Just trying to help you!
Ungrateful kid.

1439
01:11:39,440 --> 01:11:40,919
Coma, wake up!

1440
01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:56,672
- Hey.
- Hi, Jake.

1441
01:12:00,560 --> 01:12:02,357
- Wanna come in? Okay.
- Sure. Yeah.

1442
01:12:04,240 --> 01:12:05,696
Rock 'n' roll
isn't about being

1443
01:12:05,720 --> 01:12:08,029
glamorous or hip, it's a force.

1444
01:12:08,120 --> 01:12:14,355
It's a revolutionary,
political, sexual and poetic force.

1445
01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:16,592
Yeah.

1446
01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:18,216
You're not one
of those guys that thinks that

1447
01:12:18,240 --> 01:12:20,310
Jim Morrison
is still alive, are you?

1448
01:12:20,440 --> 01:12:21,998
- Uh, no.
- Good.

1449
01:12:22,080 --> 01:12:23,149
Why?

1450
01:12:23,240 --> 01:12:25,151
I found it to be
a good litmus test.

1451
01:12:25,240 --> 01:12:26,912
Any other litmus tests?

1452
01:12:27,000 --> 01:12:29,070
Not at the moment.

1453
01:12:29,440 --> 01:12:31,829
So, you were really good
at baseball in high school?

1454
01:12:32,480 --> 01:12:33,833
Yeah. I mean, every guy here

1455
01:12:33,920 --> 01:12:35,990
was the baddest guy
on his high school team.

1456
01:12:36,120 --> 01:12:37,416
You know, that's a big
adjustment to make.

1457
01:12:37,440 --> 01:12:38,440
You want a Dr. Pepper?

1458
01:12:38,520 --> 01:12:40,400
No, no, I'm all right, thanks.

1459
01:12:40,480 --> 01:12:42,576
You know, not only
are you not the best guy on the team,

1460
01:12:42,600 --> 01:12:44,136
you know, you're barely even
good enough to be here.

1461
01:12:44,160 --> 01:12:45,229
Yeah.

1462
01:12:45,320 --> 01:12:46,753
You know?

1463
01:12:46,880 --> 01:12:48,598
It's a little intimidating.

1464
01:12:49,120 --> 01:12:52,271
What about you?
You play any sports in high school?

1465
01:12:52,360 --> 01:12:53,920
No. We didn't even have
any sports, no.

1466
01:12:53,960 --> 01:12:55,029
- No?
- No.

1467
01:12:55,120 --> 01:12:57,839
But it's the same thing that you're saying
with the performing arts.

1468
01:12:57,960 --> 01:12:59,696
Everybody here was the best
in their high school,

1469
01:12:59,720 --> 01:13:01,233
got the lead in every play,

1470
01:13:01,320 --> 01:13:04,471
and now we're just gonna be
hoping to get cast in anything.

1471
01:13:04,560 --> 01:13:06,039
And there's a lot of talent around.

1472
01:13:06,120 --> 01:13:08,315
Yeah. Yeah.
Where did you go to high school?

1473
01:13:08,400 --> 01:13:10,630
HSPVA.

1474
01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:13,280
Which, although it sounds
like a venereal disease...

1475
01:13:13,360 --> 01:13:14,395
Yeah.

1476
01:13:14,480 --> 01:13:17,472
It's actually High School for
Performing and Visual Arts.

1477
01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:19,551
- Like the one in Fame?
- Kind of.

1478
01:13:19,640 --> 01:13:22,871
We weren't spontaneously
performing in the streets

1479
01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:24,194
in large groups or anything,

1480
01:13:24,280 --> 01:13:27,317
but we were so ridiculous.

1481
01:13:27,400 --> 01:13:31,075
Like, the theater kids
would be hysterically crying

1482
01:13:31,160 --> 01:13:32,388
in the bathroom stalls,

1483
01:13:32,480 --> 01:13:35,677
visual artists like
anything they could find.

1484
01:13:35,760 --> 01:13:37,079
Dancers...

1485
01:13:37,160 --> 01:13:39,151
And musical theater kids...

1486
01:13:39,280 --> 01:13:40,793
La-la-la!

1487
01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:43,990
It was so fun, I loved it!

1488
01:13:44,080 --> 01:13:45,877
Yeah, I loved it.

1489
01:13:46,000 --> 01:13:50,073
And it was a great place
to be able to cultivate the thing

1490
01:13:50,160 --> 01:13:52,151
that you loved most in life,
you know?

1491
01:13:52,280 --> 01:13:53,474
So you're really serious.

1492
01:13:53,560 --> 01:13:55,676
Yeah, I'm moving to New York
the second I graduate.

1493
01:13:55,760 --> 01:13:57,990
- Really?
- Yeah. God, I can't wait.

1494
01:13:58,880 --> 01:14:00,136
So, what's this thing
you're doing later?

1495
01:14:00,160 --> 01:14:01,160
Oh...

1496
01:14:01,600 --> 01:14:03,192
Helping decorate
for a party at Oz.

1497
01:14:03,280 --> 01:14:04,508
Mmm. What's Oz?

1498
01:14:04,600 --> 01:14:06,397
This big house
just outside of town,

1499
01:14:06,480 --> 01:14:08,755
where a lot of
theater majors live.

1500
01:14:08,880 --> 01:14:12,111
And apparently the party's
a first weekend tradition.

1501
01:14:12,200 --> 01:14:14,509
They, like, recruited us
freshmen to help set up.

1502
01:14:14,600 --> 01:14:16,272
- Probably do the shit work.
- Nice.

1503
01:14:16,360 --> 01:14:18,510
Um, you could
probably come, if you want.

1504
01:14:18,640 --> 01:14:20,216
- Cool. Yeah, cool.
- Yeah, might be fun.

1505
01:14:20,240 --> 01:14:22,629
I mean, we have our first practice
this afternoon, but yeah.

1506
01:14:22,720 --> 01:14:23,869
Yeah, it sounds great.

1507
01:14:23,960 --> 01:14:25,518
Cool.

1508
01:14:25,600 --> 01:14:27,795
Is it baseball season now?

1509
01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:28,880
Mmm-mmm.

1510
01:14:28,960 --> 01:14:31,030
Okay. Well, when do you stop,
like, rehearsals

1511
01:14:31,120 --> 01:14:33,111
and start doing
the actual game?

1512
01:14:33,200 --> 01:14:35,953
Well, the official season
doesn't start till the spring,

1513
01:14:36,040 --> 01:14:37,280
but we got a big fall schedule.

1514
01:14:37,320 --> 01:14:38,776
- Uh-huh.
- It's just a players-only practice

1515
01:14:38,800 --> 01:14:40,950
to kick things off.

1516
01:14:41,080 --> 01:14:43,753
Oh, you know, it's kind of
a dress-up party tonight.

1517
01:14:43,880 --> 01:14:45,791
You could come all sweaty
and in your uniform.

1518
01:14:45,880 --> 01:14:47,916
People might think
you're method, I don't know.

1519
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:49,216
Might be a hit with
the ladies.

1520
01:14:49,240 --> 01:14:50,639
Now I definitely gotta
be there.

1521
01:14:54,760 --> 01:14:56,239
You're seriously trying?

1522
01:14:56,320 --> 01:14:58,276
No, not right now,
but I can't do it.

1523
01:14:58,360 --> 01:14:59,475
It's impossible. I...

1524
01:14:59,560 --> 01:15:00,696
I've never been
able to do it.

1525
01:15:00,720 --> 01:15:02,016
I know a lot
about the human body,

1526
01:15:02,040 --> 01:15:03,256
and I've never seen
anything like that.

1527
01:15:03,280 --> 01:15:05,236
Watch this.
You ready? Try to move.

1528
01:15:07,800 --> 01:15:10,872
- We all tried it.
- No. It's impossible.

1529
01:15:10,960 --> 01:15:12,678
Oh. What's up, dude?
You gotta see this.

1530
01:15:12,760 --> 01:15:13,760
What is it?

1531
01:15:14,400 --> 01:15:15,776
It's this physiological
phenomenon.

1532
01:15:15,800 --> 01:15:17,836
You close your eyes
and somebody places a thumb

1533
01:15:17,920 --> 01:15:19,638
below the chest bone
in the solar plexus,

1534
01:15:19,720 --> 01:15:21,836
semi-paralyzes
the whole upper torso.

1535
01:15:21,920 --> 01:15:23,256
- He can't sit up.
- That's ridiculous.

1536
01:15:23,280 --> 01:15:25,350
- From here to here.
- Go on, show me.

1537
01:15:25,440 --> 01:15:26,496
Dude, the whole team's tried it.

1538
01:15:26,520 --> 01:15:27,794
- Try it again, Nesbit.
- Okay.

1539
01:15:29,320 --> 01:15:30,856
Nope. I'm telling you,
it's absolutely impossible.

1540
01:15:30,880 --> 01:15:32,950
It's a thumb
on your fucking chest, Nesbit.

1541
01:15:33,040 --> 01:15:34,320
- You can't, no.
- Get up.

1542
01:15:34,400 --> 01:15:35,435
I wanna give it a shot.

1543
01:15:35,520 --> 01:15:36,953
I'm just saying, you can't do it.

1544
01:15:37,040 --> 01:15:38,519
I know, he thinks he can.
All right.

1545
01:15:38,600 --> 01:15:39,736
Make sure and close your eyes,

1546
01:15:39,760 --> 01:15:40,816
'cause that shuts down the spinal.

1547
01:15:40,840 --> 01:15:42,319
Okay, so shut up.

1548
01:15:42,400 --> 01:15:43,628
- Shut your eyes...
- Mmm-mmm.

1549
01:15:43,720 --> 01:15:46,188
...and on the count of three,

1550
01:15:46,320 --> 01:15:49,278
finger in the solar plexus,
count of three, try to sit up.

1551
01:15:49,360 --> 01:15:52,113
One, two, three.

1552
01:15:56,000 --> 01:15:57,638
Good job, baby! Good job!

1553
01:16:00,320 --> 01:16:02,914
That's what
I'm talking about, man!

1554
01:16:03,000 --> 01:16:04,136
- Beautifully played.
- Oh!

1555
01:16:04,160 --> 01:16:05,559
The hiney was flawless.

1556
01:16:06,880 --> 01:16:08,560
It all comes down
to how well you sell it,

1557
01:16:08,640 --> 01:16:09,776
'cause when he was coming in,

1558
01:16:09,800 --> 01:16:12,030
I was saying "impossible,"
and then when you put the...

1559
01:16:12,120 --> 01:16:13,616
- And I was like...
- "What is he doing?"

1560
01:16:13,640 --> 01:16:15,835
- The leg stuff.
- How does that happen?

1561
01:16:15,920 --> 01:16:17,800
Hey, at least it was
before practice, all right?

1562
01:16:17,840 --> 01:16:18,976
'Cause had it been after practice,

1563
01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:20,896
who knows what fucking sweaty
and encrusted items

1564
01:16:20,920 --> 01:16:22,496
I might've encountered
up your ass crack.

1565
01:16:22,520 --> 01:16:24,416
You're a freshman, too.
Not supposed to be hazing me.

1566
01:16:24,440 --> 01:16:26,032
Hey, Jake, man,
I'm sorry, all right?

1567
01:16:26,120 --> 01:16:27,235
They made me do it.

1568
01:16:27,320 --> 01:16:28,992
They just got me
five minutes ago.

1569
01:16:29,080 --> 01:16:30,195
I'm sorry.

1570
01:16:30,280 --> 01:16:31,633
Hey, and, you,

1571
01:16:31,720 --> 01:16:34,792
with all your physiological
phenomena bullshit.

1572
01:16:34,880 --> 01:16:37,440
Okay, you know, we all take turns
being chumps around here.

1573
01:16:37,520 --> 01:16:39,272
Now, you accept
your chumpification,

1574
01:16:39,360 --> 01:16:41,430
you wear it well,
and you pass it on.

1575
01:16:41,520 --> 01:16:42,748
It's all you can do.

1576
01:16:42,840 --> 01:16:45,308
Well, well, well,
if it ain't Beuter Perkins! Hey!

1577
01:16:45,400 --> 01:16:46,879
Speaking of.

1578
01:16:51,840 --> 01:16:53,432
Hey, Beuter!

1579
01:16:53,520 --> 01:16:55,112
Beuter Perkins!

1580
01:16:55,200 --> 01:16:58,590
All right now, boys,
it's Billy Autrey, okay?

1581
01:16:58,680 --> 01:17:01,035
Did you give her
two solid inches, Beuter?

1582
01:17:01,120 --> 01:17:05,079
Hey, so, Pops,
you pick out a name yet?

1583
01:17:05,200 --> 01:17:07,760
- No, sir. She got the rag.
- Aww!

1584
01:17:07,840 --> 01:17:10,957
Really? No fucking way!

1585
01:17:11,040 --> 01:17:12,616
Hey, what's wrong with Jacob?

1586
01:17:12,640 --> 01:17:13,959
- Oh, you gotta see this.
- Yeah.

1587
01:17:14,040 --> 01:17:15,996
It's this physiological
phenomenon.

1588
01:17:16,080 --> 01:17:17,496
You close your eyes,
and somebody places

1589
01:17:17,520 --> 01:17:19,656
their finger below the chest bone,
in the solar plexus,

1590
01:17:19,680 --> 01:17:21,477
it semi-paralyzes the whole torso.

1591
01:17:21,560 --> 01:17:23,000
Impossible to move.

1592
01:17:23,080 --> 01:17:25,040
- How about that?
- Hey, Beut, you gotta try this.

1593
01:17:25,160 --> 01:17:26,639
One of them old
phenomegans, huh?

1594
01:17:26,720 --> 01:17:28,472
I can't. Fucking I can't.

1595
01:17:28,560 --> 01:17:31,552
I'll let you boys deal
with that hocus-pocus junk.

1596
01:17:31,760 --> 01:17:33,176
Isn't that
how you always fuck?

1597
01:17:34,440 --> 01:17:36,556
Rally back.

1598
01:17:36,640 --> 01:17:38,995
So, how'd it go
with the Beverly chick?

1599
01:17:39,080 --> 01:17:40,877
Yeah, man, you get it in?

1600
01:17:41,320 --> 01:17:43,231
She's cool, you know?

1601
01:17:43,320 --> 01:17:44,992
Went about
as well as it could've.

1602
01:17:45,400 --> 01:17:47,914
Probably meeting up with her
at a party later tonight.

1603
01:17:48,000 --> 01:17:50,673
What? What party?

1604
01:17:51,320 --> 01:17:54,232
It's just something
for a bunch of performing arts majors.

1605
01:17:54,320 --> 01:17:55,656
You know, at someone's
house out of town.

1606
01:17:55,680 --> 01:17:56,680
Oh.

1607
01:17:56,760 --> 01:17:57,875
Everybody up!

1608
01:18:00,960 --> 01:18:02,359
Right arm cross.

1609
01:18:04,120 --> 01:18:06,315
All right, fellas,
who's gonna be the first poor fuck

1610
01:18:06,400 --> 01:18:09,597
to take batting practice
off Jay Niles

1611
01:18:09,680 --> 01:18:12,672
and his 95-mile-an-hour fastball?

1612
01:18:12,760 --> 01:18:14,557
The fuck is wrong
with that guy?

1613
01:18:14,640 --> 01:18:15,993
I'm not doing it.

1614
01:18:16,080 --> 01:18:17,911
- He doesn't throw 95.
- No.

1615
01:18:18,000 --> 01:18:19,000
Get out of my way.

1616
01:18:19,080 --> 01:18:21,440
Hey, man,
I'm doing it, huh?

1617
01:18:21,560 --> 01:18:24,199
What? Let's go!
Come on! What'd you say?

1618
01:18:24,280 --> 01:18:25,918
Guy's a fucking loon.

1619
01:18:48,440 --> 01:18:49,440
Whoo!

1620
01:19:27,920 --> 01:19:29,990
Willoughby! Come over here.

1621
01:19:32,560 --> 01:19:33,993
Get all your stuff.

1622
01:19:43,880 --> 01:19:45,393
What the hell?

1623
01:19:46,360 --> 01:19:47,634
What's going on?

1624
01:19:47,760 --> 01:19:48,988
Well, boys,

1625
01:19:49,320 --> 01:19:52,073
here for a good time,
not a long time, right?

1626
01:19:53,520 --> 01:19:55,715
- What does that mean?
- I don't know.

1627
01:19:55,960 --> 01:19:58,110
Get your ass ready. Let's go.

1628
01:19:58,800 --> 01:20:00,336
- Oh, Jesus Christ, not this psychopath.
- Oh, shit.

1629
01:20:00,360 --> 01:20:02,271
Here you go, Plum.

1630
01:20:02,400 --> 01:20:03,992
This'll be interesting.

1631
01:20:04,080 --> 01:20:06,435
- What is that?
- What is he doing?

1632
01:20:10,440 --> 01:20:12,416
Did he just throw the ball
in the fucking parking lot?

1633
01:20:12,440 --> 01:20:14,016
Yeah. There it goes.

1634
01:20:14,040 --> 01:20:15,712
- What the fuck?
- Let's go!

1635
01:20:21,960 --> 01:20:24,235
- I'm ready. Get in the box.
- Jeez, let's not.

1636
01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:25,320
Go get him, kid.

1637
01:20:25,400 --> 01:20:27,834
Guy's gonna have a fucking aneurysm
on the mound.

1638
01:20:28,920 --> 01:20:30,990
Fucking looney tune.

1639
01:20:31,080 --> 01:20:32,798
Yeah.

1640
01:20:35,120 --> 01:20:36,439
Oh, yeah!

1641
01:20:36,560 --> 01:20:38,391
Jesus fucking Christ, damn it.

1642
01:20:38,520 --> 01:20:40,317
It's batting practice.

1643
01:20:40,640 --> 01:20:43,598
Hit it to me!
The ball's coming to me!

1644
01:20:45,160 --> 01:20:46,798
- Oh, yeah.
- Fuck this. I'm done.

1645
01:20:46,920 --> 01:20:48,069
Fuck this guy.

1646
01:20:48,160 --> 01:20:51,596
- Fucking nutjob. Ridiculous.
- You don't want any more?

1647
01:20:51,680 --> 01:20:52,680
All right.

1648
01:20:52,760 --> 01:20:54,432
Fucking batting practices.

1649
01:21:03,200 --> 01:21:05,191
Don't fuck it up, man.
Let's go.

1650
01:21:07,280 --> 01:21:08,280
Yeah.

1651
01:21:13,360 --> 01:21:14,634
That's strike one.

1652
01:21:14,720 --> 01:21:16,472
- Hey, Detroit!
- Yeah?

1653
01:21:16,600 --> 01:21:18,256
Those fucking goggles,
you can't use those to read?

1654
01:21:18,280 --> 01:21:20,032
The schedule says
"batting practice."

1655
01:21:20,120 --> 01:21:21,758
Scrimmage is later.
What the fuck, man.

1656
01:21:21,840 --> 01:21:23,320
Yeah. All right, well,
I'm not afraid

1657
01:21:23,480 --> 01:21:25,240
to get this over with
right here, right now.

1658
01:21:26,520 --> 01:21:27,669
Get what over?

1659
01:21:27,760 --> 01:21:29,910
I'm a fucking pro prospect, too,
and you know it.

1660
01:21:30,000 --> 01:21:31,035
Oh.

1661
01:21:31,120 --> 01:21:32,678
I'm not afraid
to challenge you, man.

1662
01:21:32,760 --> 01:21:34,671
And everybody else on this team.

1663
01:21:34,800 --> 01:21:38,839
And I'm not afraid to stick it in
and break it off from day one!

1664
01:21:39,080 --> 01:21:40,149
All right?

1665
01:21:40,480 --> 01:21:42,072
Okay, meat,

1666
01:21:42,160 --> 01:21:43,816
you wanna try to make
that starting rotation

1667
01:21:43,840 --> 01:21:46,274
on your first BP session, huh?

1668
01:21:47,440 --> 01:21:48,555
Be my guest.

1669
01:21:48,640 --> 01:21:50,471
Practice like you play, man.

1670
01:21:52,280 --> 01:21:54,271
Shut his fucking mouth.

1671
01:22:02,520 --> 01:22:04,272
Whoo-hoo!

1672
01:22:06,880 --> 01:22:07,995
Yeah.

1673
01:22:08,520 --> 01:22:10,431
Good hit, McReynolds. Wow.

1674
01:22:10,520 --> 01:22:13,159
I think you've had
enough, raw dog.

1675
01:22:13,280 --> 01:22:14,474
That the best shit you got?

1676
01:22:15,240 --> 01:22:17,674
That ain't close to touching 90, son.
Who you fooling?

1677
01:22:17,760 --> 01:22:19,910
Go get that ball,
I'll fucking sign it for you.

1678
01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:23,436
Oh, yeah. Ha-ha-ha.
Real funny, man. Real funny.

1679
01:22:23,520 --> 01:22:25,590
You know, it's first day
of practice, all right?

1680
01:22:26,160 --> 01:22:27,991
- Just warming up.
- Mmm-hmm.

1681
01:22:28,080 --> 01:22:29,856
You know, I will go
get the fucking ball.

1682
01:22:29,880 --> 01:22:30,880
You know what I'll do?

1683
01:22:30,960 --> 01:22:32,791
I'll shove it up
your ass and I'll sign it!

1684
01:22:32,880 --> 01:22:33,880
How's that sound?

1685
01:22:33,920 --> 01:22:35,336
Yeah, hey, you know what,
do what you do best, Niles,

1686
01:22:35,360 --> 01:22:36,456
keep running
that fucking mouth,

1687
01:22:36,480 --> 01:22:38,152
'cause it makes you
feel better, right?

1688
01:22:38,240 --> 01:22:39,656
You get your teammates
in a fight and kicked out

1689
01:22:39,680 --> 01:22:41,376
of a bar, 'cause you wanna
look fucking tough?

1690
01:22:41,400 --> 01:22:43,709
You're fucking selfish, man!
It's about the team here!

1691
01:22:43,800 --> 01:22:46,155
It's not about you!
Go fuck yourself.

1692
01:22:46,240 --> 01:22:49,391
You know what, man?
I only know 150%, all right?

1693
01:22:49,520 --> 01:22:51,351
You want me on the mound!

1694
01:22:51,440 --> 01:22:53,670
You know I'm a fucking
ballplayer, all right?

1695
01:22:53,760 --> 01:22:54,875
You don't get it!

1696
01:22:55,680 --> 01:22:56,680
Fuck!

1697
01:22:57,320 --> 01:23:00,312
Too fucking philosophical
for this shit.

1698
01:23:01,320 --> 01:23:02,878
Fucking balls.

1699
01:23:03,880 --> 01:23:05,393
Fuck that shit.

1700
01:23:08,600 --> 01:23:09,696
- Yeah.
- Whoo!

1701
01:23:09,720 --> 01:23:11,120
Way to go!
Run, run, run!

1702
01:23:22,960 --> 01:23:24,029
Hey, where's my helmet at?

1703
01:23:24,200 --> 01:23:26,160
It's the one with
the three scratches on the bill.

1704
01:23:26,400 --> 01:23:27,856
It's my good luck helmet.
You know what I'm talking about, Finn.

1705
01:23:27,880 --> 01:23:29,840
It's the one with
the three scratches on the bill.

1706
01:23:29,920 --> 01:23:31,096
There's five helmets right there.

1707
01:23:31,120 --> 01:23:33,000
Yeah, grab a helmet
and get in the box. Come on.

1708
01:23:33,040 --> 01:23:34,234
Hey, batter up!

1709
01:23:34,360 --> 01:23:36,999
Might as well put
a strikeout down in the books, fellas.

1710
01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:40,629
Why is the.230 hitter always
the most superstitious?

1711
01:23:40,720 --> 01:23:42,960
News flash, it's not working.
Get some new superstitions.

1712
01:23:43,760 --> 01:23:45,193
You got superstitions.

1713
01:23:45,280 --> 01:23:47,510
No, I have routines.

1714
01:23:47,600 --> 01:23:48,669
Big difference.

1715
01:23:49,080 --> 01:23:51,071
- No.
- Superstitions are

1716
01:23:51,160 --> 01:23:52,991
a holdover from primitive humans

1717
01:23:53,120 --> 01:23:55,509
finding simple reasons
for things they don't understand.

1718
01:23:55,600 --> 01:23:57,556
- Oh, yeah.
- Verifiably a complete waste

1719
01:23:57,640 --> 01:23:59,756
of mental capacity
in this day and age.

1720
01:23:59,840 --> 01:24:01,671
I'm just saying,
in a deterministic event,

1721
01:24:01,760 --> 01:24:03,079
such as hitting a baseball,

1722
01:24:03,160 --> 01:24:06,709
there actually is a strict
relation between cause and effect.

1723
01:24:06,800 --> 01:24:09,473
Now, superstition, it's bringing a...

1724
01:24:09,560 --> 01:24:11,471
A probabilistic framework
and projecting meaning

1725
01:24:11,600 --> 01:24:13,192
onto a completely random sequence.

1726
01:24:13,280 --> 01:24:14,395
Hmm.

1727
01:24:16,120 --> 01:24:18,315
Yeah!

1728
01:24:18,400 --> 01:24:20,038
See, we can
deduce from that,

1729
01:24:20,120 --> 01:24:22,315
that the lucky helmet
was probably not the factor

1730
01:24:22,400 --> 01:24:24,152
in Coma's ability to get a hit

1731
01:24:24,240 --> 01:24:26,470
because he was just able
to do so without it.

1732
01:24:26,560 --> 01:24:28,869
The question now will be
if this new, random helmet

1733
01:24:29,000 --> 01:24:30,280
now becomes
Coma's lucky helmet.

1734
01:24:30,640 --> 01:24:32,073
- Exactly.
- Whoo! Whoo!

1735
01:24:32,160 --> 01:24:33,160
What's happening, boys?

1736
01:24:33,200 --> 01:24:34,428
Attaboy, Dale.

1737
01:24:36,320 --> 01:24:38,675
Yes! Yes! Yes!

1738
01:24:38,840 --> 01:24:41,559
Hey, Coma, Pete Ward
just saw your first hit, man.

1739
01:24:41,680 --> 01:24:44,353
- Pete Ward's here? Yeah, baby.
- Oh, yeah.

1740
01:24:44,480 --> 01:24:45,833
Who's Pete Ward?

1741
01:24:45,960 --> 01:24:47,757
Legendary super scout
for the Reds.

1742
01:24:47,840 --> 01:24:48,909
Master of disguise.

1743
01:24:49,000 --> 01:24:50,976
Yeah, yeah, he never wants
people to know he's watching,

1744
01:24:51,000 --> 01:24:53,070
so he'll disguise himself somehow.

1745
01:24:53,160 --> 01:24:54,309
Anybody spotted him?

1746
01:24:54,440 --> 01:24:55,668
Ah, give me a second.

1747
01:24:55,760 --> 01:24:57,591
Anybody?
Come on. Finn?

1748
01:24:57,680 --> 01:24:59,336
- Finn, don't disappoint me.
- Give me a second.

1749
01:24:59,360 --> 01:25:01,999
Come on, it's right
in front of you, brother.

1750
01:25:03,520 --> 01:25:05,000
Out there past
the right field fence,

1751
01:25:05,640 --> 01:25:08,200
painting the trim on the house.

1752
01:25:08,280 --> 01:25:09,679
- Whoo! Good spot, bro!
- Wow.

1753
01:25:09,760 --> 01:25:12,593
Thank you. Thank you.
Give me my adoration.

1754
01:25:12,680 --> 01:25:13,920
How's that for incentive?

1755
01:25:14,000 --> 01:25:16,389
First scrimmage game,
not even an official practice,

1756
01:25:16,480 --> 01:25:19,153
we already got
the scouts here checking us out.

1757
01:25:20,040 --> 01:25:21,359
Welcome to the big time, boys.

1758
01:25:21,880 --> 01:25:23,199
Fucking A, man.

1759
01:25:23,280 --> 01:25:25,316
That's what I'm talking about.

1760
01:25:32,880 --> 01:25:34,632
All right, boys, let's go!

1761
01:25:34,720 --> 01:25:36,199
- Hey, Bradford.
- Yeah.

1762
01:25:36,360 --> 01:25:37,793
- You warm?
- Yeah.

1763
01:25:37,880 --> 01:25:39,757
You're on the hill.
Plum, you're catching.

1764
01:25:40,680 --> 01:25:43,035
- All right, go get 'em, Jake.
- Let's go, fellas.

1765
01:25:43,720 --> 01:25:46,234
You got it. Attaboy.

1766
01:26:02,400 --> 01:26:04,072
McReynolds.

1767
01:26:07,360 --> 01:26:08,713
Uh...

1768
01:26:12,760 --> 01:26:14,239
Good hit.

1769
01:26:16,080 --> 01:26:17,559
We're cool.

1770
01:26:32,920 --> 01:26:35,036
- Strike!
- Come on, Plum.

1771
01:26:35,120 --> 01:26:36,189
Man, that's strike three.

1772
01:26:36,280 --> 01:26:37,640
Come on, Plum, we're friends, man.

1773
01:26:37,680 --> 01:26:38,736
That's strike three.
Dude, just sit down.

1774
01:26:38,760 --> 01:26:39,816
Friends don't strike out friends,

1775
01:26:39,840 --> 01:26:40,936
especially when
we're freshman friends.

1776
01:26:40,960 --> 01:26:42,154
Fucking swing the bat, man.

1777
01:26:42,240 --> 01:26:44,879
You're making us look bad.
Just sit down.

1778
01:26:47,800 --> 01:26:50,268
You wanna rub
your strikeout on me, man? Jesus.

1779
01:26:51,280 --> 01:26:52,998
What's up, Mac?

1780
01:26:53,520 --> 01:26:55,636
Don't talk to me
when I'm hitting.

1781
01:26:56,040 --> 01:26:57,439
Yes, sir.

1782
01:26:58,560 --> 01:27:00,915
All right, freshman
ping-pong champ.

1783
01:27:02,120 --> 01:27:03,314
Let's see what you got, kid.

1784
01:27:04,600 --> 01:27:06,318
Here we go, Jake.

1785
01:27:13,800 --> 01:27:16,075
Strike. 0-1?

1786
01:27:16,160 --> 01:27:17,229
Make it 0-2.

1787
01:27:17,320 --> 01:27:18,719
0-2?

1788
01:27:18,800 --> 01:27:20,631
- Yeah.
- 0-2!

1789
01:27:32,280 --> 01:27:35,317
Two, two, two, two!
Ball's in the gap!

1790
01:27:36,600 --> 01:27:37,656
Get two, McReynolds,
get two.

1791
01:27:37,680 --> 01:27:38,680
There we go.

1792
01:27:40,600 --> 01:27:42,397
Attaboy, Mac!

1793
01:27:43,080 --> 01:27:44,752
That's what I'm talking about.

1794
01:27:44,840 --> 01:27:46,990
Sweet double, McReynolds!

1795
01:27:47,080 --> 01:27:48,832
- Good hit, Mac!
- Hey, nice hit.

1796
01:27:48,960 --> 01:27:51,520
Welcome to college ball, freshman.

1797
01:27:54,960 --> 01:27:57,040
All right, boys.
All right, bring it up, bring it up!

1798
01:27:57,120 --> 01:27:59,111
If I look good,
I fucking play good.

1799
01:27:59,200 --> 01:28:00,918
All right, listen up,
good first practice.

1800
01:28:01,000 --> 01:28:02,456
All right?
This is where it all starts.

1801
01:28:02,480 --> 01:28:03,936
We're out here,
ahead of all the other teams

1802
01:28:03,960 --> 01:28:05,456
in the country,
and we're gonna keep it that way

1803
01:28:05,480 --> 01:28:06,680
and work hard all year, right?

1804
01:28:06,840 --> 01:28:08,512
Yeah!

1805
01:28:08,640 --> 01:28:11,632
- All right then, boys, y'all be good.
- Uh-uh-uh!

1806
01:28:11,720 --> 01:28:13,199
Not so fast.

1807
01:28:14,720 --> 01:28:17,234
We have a little tradition out
here welcoming in the new guys.

1808
01:28:18,120 --> 01:28:19,872
It's called a little bit
of freshmen...

1809
01:28:20,000 --> 01:28:21,797
Batting practice!

1810
01:28:28,880 --> 01:28:30,199
Whoo!

1811
01:28:41,080 --> 01:28:42,229
Oh, gosh!

1812
01:28:43,480 --> 01:28:44,515
Fuck!

1813
01:28:47,080 --> 01:28:48,229
Oh, my nuts!

1814
01:28:48,320 --> 01:28:49,389
Let's go, boys! Come on!

1815
01:28:49,520 --> 01:28:50,520
Oh, fuck!

1816
01:29:03,080 --> 01:29:05,833
Dale! Dale! Dale! Dale!

1817
01:29:13,960 --> 01:29:15,154
That was not good.

1818
01:29:15,240 --> 01:29:16,958
Say cheese, baby!

1819
01:29:17,080 --> 01:29:18,080
Whoo!

1820
01:29:18,920 --> 01:29:20,751
Say cheese!

1821
01:29:27,560 --> 01:29:29,391
That's how we do it.

1822
01:29:42,080 --> 01:29:43,080
Whatever, girls.

1823
01:29:43,440 --> 01:29:44,680
Did you get hit, Jacob?

1824
01:29:44,720 --> 01:29:45,896
Yeah, man.
They got me on the wrist,

1825
01:29:45,920 --> 01:29:47,256
and they almost knocked
me in the nuts.

1826
01:29:47,280 --> 01:29:49,200
Shoot, man. They got me
on the shoulder with one,

1827
01:29:49,320 --> 01:29:50,833
but, hey, they said
a few years back,

1828
01:29:50,920 --> 01:29:51,976
one ol' boy got hit in the head

1829
01:29:52,000 --> 01:29:54,389
and nearly knocked
his eyeball out of its socket.

1830
01:29:54,840 --> 01:29:57,229
- Is that enough for you? Okay.
- Yes. Yes.

1831
01:29:57,320 --> 01:29:58,958
Gotta get some meat
on that boy's bones.

1832
01:29:59,080 --> 01:30:00,433
Hey.

1833
01:30:00,520 --> 01:30:03,034
What are you doing here?
I thought you'd graduated.

1834
01:30:03,440 --> 01:30:05,829
Look, maybe it just feels
like I've been here too long.

1835
01:30:05,960 --> 01:30:07,473
You have.

1836
01:30:07,800 --> 01:30:08,994
Hey, Jacob.

1837
01:30:09,080 --> 01:30:10,149
What?

1838
01:30:11,120 --> 01:30:14,908
Unreal, doggie, we made it!

1839
01:30:16,160 --> 01:30:18,071
This isn't what
I was expecting at all.

1840
01:30:18,160 --> 01:30:19,832
Well, what were you
expecting, Beuter?

1841
01:30:20,560 --> 01:30:23,074
Shoot, man, it's just,
you know, I tell you,

1842
01:30:23,160 --> 01:30:24,673
it's kind of confusing.

1843
01:30:24,800 --> 01:30:26,056
Well, what's confusing,
Perkins?

1844
01:30:26,080 --> 01:30:27,832
Well, besides your
ever-changing name.

1845
01:30:27,960 --> 01:30:29,791
Good grief, guys,
come on now.

1846
01:30:30,400 --> 01:30:34,916
All right, look, y'all, so a buddy of mine
told me that last year,

1847
01:30:35,000 --> 01:30:37,275
one of his professors
in them scientific classes

1848
01:30:37,360 --> 01:30:39,669
told him that there's no
historical proof

1849
01:30:39,760 --> 01:30:40,909
Jesus Christ ever existed.

1850
01:30:41,000 --> 01:30:43,833
Who gives a turd
what some egghead professor says?

1851
01:30:44,000 --> 01:30:45,592
Seems like there's a lot of stuff

1852
01:30:45,680 --> 01:30:47,238
going on around here,
you know?

1853
01:30:47,320 --> 01:30:49,595
Just lots of different
types of stuff

1854
01:30:49,680 --> 01:30:52,399
and temptations,
and things like that.

1855
01:30:52,480 --> 01:30:53,879
- Beuter.
- Yes, sir.

1856
01:30:53,960 --> 01:30:55,640
Are you prepared to
fold like a lawn chair?

1857
01:30:56,600 --> 01:30:58,033
Private Beuter, are you prepared

1858
01:30:58,160 --> 01:30:59,200
to fold like a lawn chair?

1859
01:30:59,280 --> 01:31:00,280
Sir, no, sir.

1860
01:31:00,360 --> 01:31:01,713
Good! Then don't.

1861
01:31:01,800 --> 01:31:03,438
I'll give you freshmen
a little advice

1862
01:31:03,560 --> 01:31:05,516
on how to get your shit
together, okay?

1863
01:31:05,600 --> 01:31:07,238
You're at a new level here.

1864
01:31:07,320 --> 01:31:09,709
You're pissing in the tall grass
with the big dick dogs now.

1865
01:31:09,800 --> 01:31:12,189
Hell, you got 21,
22-year-old guys over there

1866
01:31:12,320 --> 01:31:15,073
who, at this stage, see you as someone
trying to take their position.

1867
01:31:15,160 --> 01:31:17,037
But what you limp cocks
don't seem to realize

1868
01:31:17,120 --> 01:31:19,714
is that you have
not earned teammate status yet.

1869
01:31:20,320 --> 01:31:22,550
And until you do, you're nobody.

1870
01:31:22,640 --> 01:31:24,790
And not only do those guys
not give a fuck about you,

1871
01:31:24,880 --> 01:31:27,474
they would love to watch
every single one of you fail.

1872
01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:31,275
I already told you, Jake,
this ain't high school, man.

1873
01:31:31,360 --> 01:31:32,976
You guys aren't the
All-Stars you thought you were

1874
01:31:33,000 --> 01:31:35,036
back from wherever the hell
it is you came from.

1875
01:31:35,120 --> 01:31:37,554
Here, you're on your own.

1876
01:31:38,560 --> 01:31:39,709
And it's competitive, man.

1877
01:31:39,800 --> 01:31:41,358
So, shit,
if you wanna succeed,

1878
01:31:41,440 --> 01:31:43,317
really succeed,
the only choice you have

1879
01:31:43,400 --> 01:31:45,914
is to mentally
toughen the fuck up.

1880
01:31:46,800 --> 01:31:48,756
- Yes, sir.
- Temptation, my asshole.

1881
01:31:49,600 --> 01:31:51,158
Temptation his asshole?

1882
01:31:51,240 --> 01:31:52,958
Dude, did you guys hear?

1883
01:31:53,040 --> 01:31:54,075
What?

1884
01:31:54,200 --> 01:31:55,758
Willoughby's gone!

1885
01:31:57,040 --> 01:31:58,519
- What?
- Busted!

1886
01:31:58,600 --> 01:31:59,669
What, weed?

1887
01:31:59,760 --> 01:32:00,760
Nah, dude.

1888
01:32:00,840 --> 01:32:04,674
He's 30! Like,
he's 30 fucking years old!

1889
01:32:04,760 --> 01:32:06,751
- Thirty!
- Like a three and a zero.

1890
01:32:06,880 --> 01:32:08,472
- Oh, no fucking way.
- No, sir.

1891
01:32:08,560 --> 01:32:10,676
Yes, sir! No, no, no!
Get this, get this.

1892
01:32:10,760 --> 01:32:14,196
Willoughby isn't even his real name.

1893
01:32:14,280 --> 01:32:16,316
Dude, it's like
a secret identity!

1894
01:32:16,400 --> 01:32:18,550
Yeah, no, the registrar's
office discovered it.

1895
01:32:18,640 --> 01:32:20,358
They were looking up
on some transfer hours

1896
01:32:20,440 --> 01:32:21,714
that looked fishy.

1897
01:32:21,800 --> 01:32:23,176
They'd been investigating it
for a while,

1898
01:32:23,200 --> 01:32:24,496
and told the coach
this afternoon.

1899
01:32:24,520 --> 01:32:25,760
That's what that was all about.

1900
01:32:25,800 --> 01:32:26,800
- No way.
- Dude, what?

1901
01:32:26,920 --> 01:32:29,275
Yeah. No, not only that,

1902
01:32:29,360 --> 01:32:31,828
but they think
he's been doing this to other colleges.

1903
01:32:31,960 --> 01:32:35,350
- Transferring, playing ball.
- Is he still here?

1904
01:32:35,440 --> 01:32:38,318
Nah, man.
We just went by the house.

1905
01:32:38,480 --> 01:32:39,629
Van's gone, he's gone.

1906
01:32:39,720 --> 01:32:41,756
All his shit's gone, man.

1907
01:32:42,200 --> 01:32:44,031
He just left one thing, man.

1908
01:32:44,160 --> 01:32:47,709
In the middle of our room,
he left a Pink Floyd album

1909
01:32:47,800 --> 01:32:50,268
and a big-ass joint on top.

1910
01:32:50,360 --> 01:32:51,634
We smoked it!

1911
01:32:53,320 --> 01:32:54,376
You know,
he's probably just a guy

1912
01:32:54,400 --> 01:32:55,856
that wasn't quite good enough
to play pro ball,

1913
01:32:55,880 --> 01:32:58,440
but he loved baseball
and he just wanted to keep playing.

1914
01:32:58,520 --> 01:32:59,640
And living the college life.

1915
01:32:59,680 --> 01:33:00,749
Maybe that, too.

1916
01:33:00,840 --> 01:33:03,274
He's not a bad guy.
He just got caught.

1917
01:33:03,360 --> 01:33:04,429
I liked him.

1918
01:33:04,520 --> 01:33:05,760
- Good pitcher, too.
- Oh, yeah.

1919
01:33:08,320 --> 01:33:09,355
Brum!

1920
01:33:10,360 --> 01:33:11,360
How's this?

1921
01:33:11,480 --> 01:33:12,913
Let's see. Oh, shit.

1922
01:33:13,000 --> 01:33:14,880
It's one card away
from a Saskatchewan straight.

1923
01:33:15,000 --> 01:33:16,752
- You know what that is?
- What?

1924
01:33:16,840 --> 01:33:18,319
You might as well show 'em.

1925
01:33:18,400 --> 01:33:19,833
- How bad is it?
- It's bad.

1926
01:33:19,920 --> 01:33:21,148
Oh!

1927
01:33:21,280 --> 01:33:22,280
What is it?

1928
01:33:22,360 --> 01:33:23,839
It's called a Manitoba Moose.

1929
01:33:23,960 --> 01:33:25,871
- You're fucked, Brum.
- What?

1930
01:33:26,000 --> 01:33:27,319
Well, the rules state that,

1931
01:33:27,400 --> 01:33:28,816
if you ever wanna play
this game again...

1932
01:33:28,840 --> 01:33:31,070
If you wanna stay
on this team, bro.

1933
01:33:31,200 --> 01:33:32,758
I do.

1934
01:33:32,840 --> 01:33:34,671
You have to fly to Winnipeg,

1935
01:33:34,800 --> 01:33:36,336
you have to drive
to Caribou River Park Reserve

1936
01:33:36,360 --> 01:33:37,395
in Manitoba,

1937
01:33:37,480 --> 01:33:38,913
you have to walk out
on the tundra,

1938
01:33:39,000 --> 01:33:40,638
you have to find a moose,

1939
01:33:41,640 --> 01:33:44,200
carefully get under said moose...

1940
01:33:46,160 --> 01:33:47,275
You gotta suck its dick.

1941
01:33:49,840 --> 01:33:51,068
Really?

1942
01:33:51,160 --> 01:33:52,309
Yeah.

1943
01:33:53,040 --> 01:33:55,076
- Happened once before.
- Wait, really?

1944
01:33:55,200 --> 01:33:56,269
He was a good guy.

1945
01:33:56,400 --> 01:33:57,435
He was a great guy.

1946
01:33:57,520 --> 01:33:58,748
Anyway, you guys all pass?

1947
01:33:58,840 --> 01:34:00,034
Yeah, that's it, man.

1948
01:34:00,160 --> 01:34:03,311
Oh, take off, you hosers!
It's a Winnipeg Flip!

1949
01:34:03,400 --> 01:34:07,154
<i>O Canada!</i>

1950
01:34:07,240 --> 01:34:10,915
<i>Our home and native land!</i>

1951
01:34:11,080 --> 01:34:13,640
<i>True patriot love...</i>

1952
01:34:13,720 --> 01:34:15,597
What the fuck game
are they playing?

1953
01:34:15,720 --> 01:34:17,056
I mean, they say
it's called "O Canada,"

1954
01:34:17,080 --> 01:34:18,216
but I'm pretty sure
they're just making it up

1955
01:34:18,240 --> 01:34:19,832
as they go along, you know?

1956
01:34:19,920 --> 01:34:23,959
Like most things
with these guys, it's total bullshit.

1957
01:34:24,040 --> 01:34:26,349
But why, you know?

1958
01:34:26,440 --> 01:34:28,431
It's more about seeing
how witty they can be.

1959
01:34:28,520 --> 01:34:29,800
Like that whole Pete Ward thing.

1960
01:34:29,880 --> 01:34:32,030
What do you mean,
"the Pete Ward thing"?

1961
01:34:32,120 --> 01:34:34,156
- Pete Ward.
- What about him?

1962
01:34:34,240 --> 01:34:36,800
The super scout for the Reds?
Master of disguise?

1963
01:34:36,920 --> 01:34:39,036
- They made all that up, too.
- Yeah?

1964
01:34:39,120 --> 01:34:40,736
Are you trying to...
Pete Ward ain't real?

1965
01:34:40,760 --> 01:34:41,795
Oh, come on.

1966
01:34:41,920 --> 01:34:43,797
Hey, guys, guys,
Plum and bitch boy think

1967
01:34:43,920 --> 01:34:45,751
Pete Ward's real.

1968
01:34:48,200 --> 01:34:49,269
What are you implying?

1969
01:34:49,360 --> 01:34:50,360
Yeah, Jake.

1970
01:34:50,440 --> 01:34:51,953
Who are you to say
he isn't real?

1971
01:34:52,120 --> 01:34:53,678
Yeah, "bitch boy."

1972
01:34:53,760 --> 01:34:54,988
Okay, he's real.

1973
01:34:55,120 --> 01:34:57,016
Hey, Jake, you're still not
saying where that party is.

1974
01:34:57,040 --> 01:34:58,155
What party?

1975
01:34:58,240 --> 01:34:59,798
Jake's got a big party
tonight.

1976
01:34:59,920 --> 01:35:02,056
Supposed to meet up
with this hot dancer-actress chick,

1977
01:35:02,080 --> 01:35:03,416
but he doesn't want us
to be there.

1978
01:35:03,440 --> 01:35:05,616
Hey, hold on, hey, I'm not saying
you guys can't come, all right?

1979
01:35:05,640 --> 01:35:07,517
Did I say that? No.

1980
01:35:07,600 --> 01:35:09,716
I just implied you guys
might be bored, that's all.

1981
01:35:09,800 --> 01:35:11,950
Dancer chicks have great asses.

1982
01:35:12,040 --> 01:35:13,216
Now, that's a fact,
I know that.

1983
01:35:13,240 --> 01:35:15,595
Let me get this straight.
A freshman

1984
01:35:15,680 --> 01:35:19,229
is trying to stop us
from, from going to a party, is that...

1985
01:35:19,320 --> 01:35:21,216
It's not even that we're
not invited to this party,

1986
01:35:21,240 --> 01:35:23,117
- he just doesn't want us to go.
- Mmm...

1987
01:35:23,200 --> 01:35:25,794
Did I ever say that?
No, okay?

1988
01:35:25,880 --> 01:35:27,836
I was just implying that
this party might not be

1989
01:35:27,920 --> 01:35:30,434
your guys' cup of tea,
but, I mean, fuck it,

1990
01:35:30,520 --> 01:35:32,040
you guys can come
with me if you want.

1991
01:35:35,480 --> 01:35:38,074
I don't wanna embarrass you
in front of all your new

1992
01:35:38,160 --> 01:35:39,752
artsy-fartsy theater major friends.

1993
01:35:39,840 --> 01:35:40,909
We're gonna stay here,

1994
01:35:41,000 --> 01:35:42,056
we're gonna play cards,
you have fun.

1995
01:35:42,080 --> 01:35:46,471
Give me a fucking break.
Finn. Finn. Finn.

1996
01:35:46,600 --> 01:35:48,136
- Hey, come on, look at me.
- Don't do it.

1997
01:35:48,160 --> 01:35:49,856
- Hey, look at me. Look at me.
- Don't look.

1998
01:35:49,880 --> 01:35:51,233
Stay strong.

1999
01:35:51,320 --> 01:35:53,356
All right, I beg you.
No, I implore you

2000
01:35:53,800 --> 01:35:55,916
to come to this party.

2001
01:35:56,000 --> 01:35:57,616
All right, I realize that
I wouldn't know how to make it

2002
01:35:57,640 --> 01:36:00,757
through this world without
all of your unsolicited wisdom.

2003
01:36:00,840 --> 01:36:04,674
And all you guys' constant
fuckwithery.

2004
01:36:06,040 --> 01:36:07,473
What do you say?

2005
01:36:07,560 --> 01:36:08,879
You don't really mean that.

2006
01:36:09,800 --> 01:36:11,518
I wouldn't say it if I didn't.

2007
01:36:13,360 --> 01:36:14,588
Can you give us a moment?

2008
01:36:14,680 --> 01:36:15,908
Of course I can.

2009
01:36:19,160 --> 01:36:21,071
- Your call.
- I wanna go.

2010
01:36:22,680 --> 01:36:24,671
- Theater party.
- Theater party.

2011
01:36:24,760 --> 01:36:26,671
Theater party!

2012
01:36:27,600 --> 01:36:29,511
Guys, were we supposed
to wear a costume?

2013
01:36:29,600 --> 01:36:32,034
You are in costume,
of a dipshit.

2014
01:36:32,200 --> 01:36:34,873
Oh, shit, it's
the Led Zeppelin dude.

2015
01:36:34,960 --> 01:36:36,188
Yo, what's happening, man?

2016
01:36:36,280 --> 01:36:38,236
- It's creepy!
- Tell me about it.

2017
01:36:41,040 --> 01:36:42,553
Holy shit.

2018
01:36:43,280 --> 01:36:45,510
The inside is even weirder.

2019
01:36:45,600 --> 01:36:47,016
This ain't no frat party.

2020
01:36:47,040 --> 01:36:48,792
Here's what we're gonna do.

2021
01:36:49,600 --> 01:36:51,556
Feel the freak!

2022
01:36:54,960 --> 01:36:57,190
Dude, how great is this?

2023
01:36:57,560 --> 01:36:58,754
Cha-chao!

2024
01:37:00,720 --> 01:37:03,518
Hey, girls, how you doing?
I'm Roper.

2025
01:37:03,600 --> 01:37:05,955
Hey, Brum,
go get some drinks, man.

2026
01:37:12,600 --> 01:37:14,033
Fuck!

2027
01:37:14,120 --> 01:37:16,031
- Did you see that?
- What?

2028
01:37:16,120 --> 01:37:17,155
A fucking cat.

2029
01:37:17,240 --> 01:37:19,151
Cats shouldn't be in fridges.

2030
01:37:30,480 --> 01:37:34,029
Best costume ever. Amazing.

2031
01:37:34,160 --> 01:37:36,720
- Jake! Hey! Hi!
- Hey! Hey!

2032
01:37:37,080 --> 01:37:39,594
- You're blonde!
- I know.

2033
01:37:39,680 --> 01:37:41,750
I'm really glad you came.

2034
01:37:41,840 --> 01:37:45,071
Except for, I think... This one.

2035
01:37:45,160 --> 01:37:46,200
Yeah, you need this. Yeah.

2036
01:37:46,280 --> 01:37:47,429
Yeah?

2037
01:37:49,800 --> 01:37:52,030
Hi. I'm Debra Kadabra.

2038
01:37:52,120 --> 01:37:53,336
What are you gonna do
with that?

2039
01:37:54,520 --> 01:37:57,956
And now, I can officially
welcome you to Oz.

2040
01:37:58,040 --> 01:37:59,712
Hi, guys. I'm Beverly.

2041
01:37:59,800 --> 01:38:01,016
- Hi, Beverly.
- Good to see you.

2042
01:38:01,040 --> 01:38:03,031
Three words,

2043
01:38:03,120 --> 01:38:06,078
thoroughly equipped dungeon.

2044
01:38:10,920 --> 01:38:12,696
Can I borrow you
for something really quickly?

2045
01:38:12,720 --> 01:38:14,836
'Cause someone dropped out,
and it's really easy,

2046
01:38:14,920 --> 01:38:16,751
and it's gonna be really fun.

2047
01:38:16,840 --> 01:38:18,239
- Yeah. Sure.
- Okay.

2048
01:38:18,320 --> 01:38:21,392
Well, I gotta go inside
for a second, but I'll see you soon.

2049
01:38:21,480 --> 01:38:22,595
- Cool.
- Okay.

2050
01:38:22,880 --> 01:38:24,199
Ooh!

2051
01:38:47,880 --> 01:38:48,995
He's being modest.

2052
01:38:49,080 --> 01:38:50,798
Not only is he
a pre-season All-American,

2053
01:38:50,880 --> 01:38:53,394
you're gonna be seeing
this guy on TV someday.

2054
01:38:53,480 --> 01:38:55,152
Now, this guy,

2055
01:38:55,280 --> 01:38:57,794
this guy's the best
third baseman in the state!

2056
01:38:57,880 --> 01:38:59,871
Like a fucking
vacuum cleaner down there, man.

2057
01:38:59,960 --> 01:39:01,616
Fuck that.
We're taking that shit this year.

2058
01:39:01,640 --> 01:39:02,640
It's this year.

2059
01:39:02,680 --> 01:39:03,736
Hey, that's what
I'm talking about, man.

2060
01:39:03,760 --> 01:39:05,376
Fuck losing the playoffs.
We're taking it all this year.

2061
01:39:05,400 --> 01:39:07,197
- You're into astrology?
- Of course.

2062
01:39:07,280 --> 01:39:08,496
So, you've had
your chart done?

2063
01:39:08,520 --> 01:39:10,670
Oh, yeah. It's fascinating.

2064
01:39:10,760 --> 01:39:12,591
- I'm a Leo.
- Uh-oh.

2065
01:39:12,680 --> 01:39:14,989
Yeah, I know, I know.
A little full of myself.

2066
01:39:15,080 --> 01:39:16,080
Hmm.

2067
01:39:16,160 --> 01:39:18,276
- But I'm very loyal...
- Mmm-hmm.

2068
01:39:18,360 --> 01:39:19,395
Confident...

2069
01:39:19,480 --> 01:39:20,879
Right.

2070
01:39:21,480 --> 01:39:25,359
The chart says I'm overly confident,
but the truth is

2071
01:39:26,400 --> 01:39:28,356
I wound easily.

2072
01:39:29,240 --> 01:39:31,356
It also says I'd make
a great father someday,

2073
01:39:31,440 --> 01:39:33,237
but I don't know.

2074
01:39:34,040 --> 01:39:37,237
You gotta
be shittin' me, man!

2075
01:39:37,320 --> 01:39:39,788
You wound easily,
poor Finnegan.

2076
01:39:39,880 --> 01:39:43,077
Astrology? Mr. Cause-and-Effect
Rationalist?

2077
01:39:43,520 --> 01:39:45,272
Who are these guys?

2078
01:39:45,760 --> 01:39:48,513
Oh, excuse us.
Uh, I'm a Scorpio.

2079
01:39:49,120 --> 01:39:51,270
- I'm Jake.
- Don't do it.

2080
01:39:54,520 --> 01:39:56,238
Has he told you about
his average cock?

2081
01:39:57,840 --> 01:40:00,718
Has he told... Finn!
Did you tell her, Finn?

2082
01:40:01,920 --> 01:40:03,148
Did you tell her?

2083
01:40:03,240 --> 01:40:05,096
"Hey, so have you had
your chart done?"

2084
01:40:05,120 --> 01:40:07,634
"Oh, yeah, I'm a Leo.
You know, very confident..."

2085
01:40:07,720 --> 01:40:10,296
You know what, if I had a prohibition
against sleeping with all women

2086
01:40:10,320 --> 01:40:11,360
who believed in astrology,

2087
01:40:11,440 --> 01:40:12,496
I'd still be a virgin, all right?

2088
01:40:12,520 --> 01:40:13,936
I'm being practical.

2089
01:40:13,960 --> 01:40:16,599
I'd rather die a virgin
than say my chart says

2090
01:40:16,680 --> 01:40:18,875
I'll make a good father someday.

2091
01:40:18,960 --> 01:40:20,896
Just because you guys
are laying bricks with the ladies,

2092
01:40:20,920 --> 01:40:22,035
you know, I stepped up.

2093
01:40:22,160 --> 01:40:24,336
I was talking her language,
I was meeting her on her level.

2094
01:40:24,360 --> 01:40:25,936
Instead of making fun of me,
you should be taking notes.

2095
01:40:25,960 --> 01:40:27,029
- Hmm.
- Yeah?

2096
01:40:27,120 --> 01:40:28,136
And by the way,
she was really fucking cute.

2097
01:40:28,160 --> 01:40:29,280
She was really fucking cute,

2098
01:40:29,360 --> 01:40:31,480
and you immature jerkoffs
just fucked up my whole rap!

2099
01:40:31,560 --> 01:40:32,656
Coming around
talking shit like that.

2100
01:40:32,680 --> 01:40:33,908
You know what, your little...

2101
01:40:34,000 --> 01:40:35,672
Fucking little jealous asshole crap

2102
01:40:35,800 --> 01:40:37,552
just pulling me back
in the boiling pot!

2103
01:40:37,640 --> 01:40:39,358
Oh, Finn, come on!

2104
01:40:39,440 --> 01:40:40,480
By the way, you know what?

2105
01:40:40,560 --> 01:40:43,154
Have you noticed,
whenever we're around baseball,

2106
01:40:43,240 --> 01:40:44,912
all we talk about is pussy.

2107
01:40:45,000 --> 01:40:48,276
Now, we're actually around a few
potentially interesting young women,

2108
01:40:48,360 --> 01:40:50,715
all you talk about is baseball!

2109
01:40:50,800 --> 01:40:52,916
It's a little fucked up!

2110
01:41:02,000 --> 01:41:04,195
Bachelor number three,

2111
01:41:04,320 --> 01:41:07,630
what would be your dream date
and your dream girl?

2112
01:41:08,280 --> 01:41:10,748
My dream girl and my dream date.

2113
01:41:10,840 --> 01:41:13,274
- Yes.
- That's a very tough question.

2114
01:41:13,360 --> 01:41:16,397
Um, I suppose my dream girl
would come bearing tea

2115
01:41:16,480 --> 01:41:17,549
and special crumpets,

2116
01:41:17,640 --> 01:41:20,154
preferably in the bed, as well.

2117
01:41:20,240 --> 01:41:22,913
And we could get hopped up
on the tea and the crumpets.

2118
01:41:23,200 --> 01:41:24,952
- Is this the Mad Hatter?
- Yes.

2119
01:41:25,040 --> 01:41:26,632
Curious and curiouser.

2120
01:41:26,720 --> 01:41:28,711
Bachelor number one!

2121
01:41:28,800 --> 01:41:31,109
- Oh, yes!
- Yes.

2122
01:41:31,200 --> 01:41:32,679
- Um, hello.
- Oh, hello.

2123
01:41:34,600 --> 01:41:37,990
Uh, give me your best pick-up line.

2124
01:41:39,600 --> 01:41:42,672
Would you like to come see
my large collection of heads,

2125
01:41:42,760 --> 01:41:45,194
so that I can give you some?

2126
01:41:46,400 --> 01:41:48,550
Is the Queen of Hearts a dude?

2127
01:41:49,120 --> 01:41:50,633
Ooh, a good one.

2128
01:41:52,520 --> 01:41:54,556
Red Queen, very interesting.

2129
01:41:54,640 --> 01:41:56,232
Oh, that wasn't for you, sweetie.

2130
01:41:56,320 --> 01:41:57,548
Bachelor number two!

2131
01:41:57,640 --> 01:42:00,677
What is the most trouble
you've ever gone to, to meet a girl?

2132
01:42:02,280 --> 01:42:05,431
Bachelor number two?
Are you there?

2133
01:42:05,960 --> 01:42:07,678
I'm... I'm late!

2134
01:42:07,760 --> 01:42:10,433
I'm late for
a very important date.

2135
01:42:10,640 --> 01:42:12,358
Ah!

2136
01:42:12,760 --> 01:42:13,988
Ah!

2137
01:42:14,080 --> 01:42:15,877
All right, Mr. Rabbit.

2138
01:42:15,960 --> 01:42:17,951
It must've been awfully
important like...

2139
01:42:18,040 --> 01:42:19,473
Like a party or something.

2140
01:42:19,560 --> 01:42:20,629
Yeah, totally.

2141
01:42:21,920 --> 01:42:23,114
All right then.

2142
01:42:23,240 --> 01:42:25,276
Bachelor number one.

2143
01:42:25,360 --> 01:42:27,400
You've just invited me over
for dinner, haven't you?

2144
01:42:29,800 --> 01:42:31,438
307, right?

2145
01:42:32,240 --> 01:42:34,231
- The feminist.
- Mmm.

2146
01:42:37,480 --> 01:42:39,038
What, no speech?

2147
01:42:40,080 --> 01:42:41,080
No.

2148
01:42:41,120 --> 01:42:43,839
I'm kind of the
silent type, you know?

2149
01:42:45,560 --> 01:42:47,039
What's one kiss from...

2150
01:42:47,120 --> 01:42:48,758
That is so sexy.

2151
01:42:49,440 --> 01:42:51,954
- Priceless.
- Priceless, is it?

2152
01:42:55,280 --> 01:42:57,430
Okay, being completely honest...

2153
01:42:57,920 --> 01:42:58,955
Uh-oh.

2154
01:42:59,040 --> 01:43:01,296
When you said you liked
the quiet guy in the back seat best,

2155
01:43:01,320 --> 01:43:03,016
was it just a line
to piss off the other guys in the car,

2156
01:43:03,040 --> 01:43:04,040
or was it true?

2157
01:43:04,120 --> 01:43:06,680
- Why do you ask?
- I'm curious.

2158
01:43:06,760 --> 01:43:08,352
You're curious about what?

2159
01:43:08,800 --> 01:43:11,040
You know, we all make up this
romantic crap in our heads.

2160
01:43:11,120 --> 01:43:12,560
I'm just looking for some kind of...

2161
01:43:13,080 --> 01:43:14,718
I think it's a little bit of both.

2162
01:43:14,800 --> 01:43:15,800
What does that mean?

2163
01:43:16,800 --> 01:43:18,472
Did I

2164
01:43:20,200 --> 01:43:23,795
think that the quiet guy
in the back seat was cute?

2165
01:43:23,880 --> 01:43:24,880
Yes.

2166
01:43:24,960 --> 01:43:26,075
Okay.

2167
01:43:26,160 --> 01:43:27,878
Would I have walked up to you

2168
01:43:27,960 --> 01:43:30,713
in a crowd, completely alone,
unprovoked, by the way,

2169
01:43:30,800 --> 01:43:33,109
and said that? No.

2170
01:43:33,200 --> 01:43:35,509
So, my obnoxious teammates
actually helped me on this one?

2171
01:43:36,000 --> 01:43:38,116
- I think they did.
- Shit!

2172
01:43:38,240 --> 01:43:39,696
They're good
for something after all.

2173
01:43:39,720 --> 01:43:43,713
I was definitely messing with them,
but I meant what I said.

2174
01:43:43,800 --> 01:43:45,199
Don't make me say it again.

2175
01:43:51,800 --> 01:43:53,680
Is this your
first-choice school, or...

2176
01:43:53,760 --> 01:43:55,696
No, I applied to a few,
but this was the best school

2177
01:43:55,720 --> 01:43:57,392
that also offered me a scholarship.

2178
01:43:57,480 --> 01:44:00,233
You mean, you had to, like,
write a bunch of essays

2179
01:44:00,320 --> 01:44:01,878
and all that fun stuff?

2180
01:44:01,960 --> 01:44:04,110
- Just one.
- Oh. What'd you write about?

2181
01:44:04,200 --> 01:44:07,954
The topic was to take a Greek myth
and relate it to your own life.

2182
01:44:08,040 --> 01:44:10,713
So you wrote about Aphrodite
and being a baseball slut.

2183
01:44:10,800 --> 01:44:11,869
Kind of.

2184
01:44:11,960 --> 01:44:13,757
Shit. No. Uh...

2185
01:44:13,840 --> 01:44:15,136
I just took Sisyphus
and baseball,

2186
01:44:15,160 --> 01:44:16,752
and just kinda...

2187
01:44:16,840 --> 01:44:18,176
You wrote about that
for your essay...

2188
01:44:18,200 --> 01:44:20,794
How did you even, like...

2189
01:44:20,880 --> 01:44:21,936
...those two things together?

2190
01:44:21,960 --> 01:44:23,552
Yeah, I did, believe it or not.

2191
01:44:23,640 --> 01:44:24,896
I mean, the point
of the whole thing is that

2192
01:44:24,920 --> 01:44:26,956
the gods intend for Sisyphus
to suffer, right?

2193
01:44:27,040 --> 01:44:28,439
Right.

2194
01:44:28,520 --> 01:44:31,159
Well, my point was that
they'd actually blessed him

2195
01:44:31,240 --> 01:44:33,356
with something to focus on,
you know,

2196
01:44:33,440 --> 01:44:36,193
something that he could
potentially find meaning in.

2197
01:44:37,040 --> 01:44:38,656
You know, it's a gift to be
striving at all, you know,

2198
01:44:38,680 --> 01:44:40,352
even if it looks futile to others.

2199
01:44:40,440 --> 01:44:41,589
Yeah, that's true.

2200
01:44:41,680 --> 01:44:43,176
I mean, yeah,
it's ridiculous to roll a boulder

2201
01:44:43,200 --> 01:44:45,077
up a mountain over
and over and over again,

2202
01:44:45,160 --> 01:44:47,276
but so is everything else in life.

2203
01:44:47,360 --> 01:44:49,136
When you really think
about it, especially a game.

2204
01:44:49,160 --> 01:44:51,276
Things only mean as much
as the meaningfulness

2205
01:44:51,360 --> 01:44:53,954
that we allow them to have.

2206
01:44:54,040 --> 01:44:56,793
That's where
I tie it in to baseball.

2207
01:44:56,880 --> 01:44:59,758
Just accepting whatever
comes my way, you know?

2208
01:44:59,840 --> 01:45:01,831
Good, bad, doesn't matter.

2209
01:45:03,200 --> 01:45:05,919
What matters is just getting
in that groove

2210
01:45:06,040 --> 01:45:08,713
where the whole world
kinda goes away,

2211
01:45:08,800 --> 01:45:11,360
and I'm just doing what
I'm supposed to be doing.

2212
01:45:11,440 --> 01:45:14,000
I feel the same way
about performing.

2213
01:45:14,120 --> 01:45:17,317
It's putting yourself
out there in art, in life,

2214
01:45:17,400 --> 01:45:19,356
just participating.

2215
01:45:19,440 --> 01:45:20,440
Yeah.

2216
01:45:20,520 --> 01:45:22,750
Having the guts
to look fucking stupid.

2217
01:45:27,360 --> 01:45:30,318
It's kind of beautiful, isn't it?

2218
01:45:30,400 --> 01:45:31,469
What?

2219
01:45:32,320 --> 01:45:34,151
That we get to feel
passion in this world,

2220
01:45:34,240 --> 01:45:35,673
you know, about anything.

2221
01:45:39,320 --> 01:45:41,038
And I like you.

2222
01:45:44,920 --> 01:45:46,751
I like you, too.

2223
01:45:46,840 --> 01:45:48,193
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

2224
01:45:48,400 --> 01:45:50,868
A little bit.

2225
01:46:46,840 --> 01:46:48,239
- Hey.
- Hey.

2226
01:46:49,200 --> 01:46:50,918
- You up?
- Yeah.

2227
01:46:51,000 --> 01:46:52,353
- I'm up.
- Yeah.

2228
01:46:55,000 --> 01:46:56,911
- My cupcake. Come on.
- I can't.

2229
01:46:57,000 --> 01:46:58,513
Come on.

2230
01:47:00,600 --> 01:47:02,079
What class do you have
first up?

2231
01:47:02,160 --> 01:47:03,513
History. You?

2232
01:47:03,640 --> 01:47:05,278
English.

2233
01:47:06,600 --> 01:47:07,874
- I think I'm here.
- Here?

2234
01:47:08,000 --> 01:47:09,216
Yeah. Where's your English class?

2235
01:47:09,240 --> 01:47:10,912
It's over in Jones.

2236
01:47:13,160 --> 01:47:14,309
- All rightie.
- Okay.

2237
01:47:14,400 --> 01:47:15,992
So, I'll talk to you soon?

2238
01:47:16,080 --> 01:47:17,195
Yup.

2239
01:47:35,960 --> 01:47:37,871
Bye. Call me later?

2240
01:47:38,240 --> 01:47:39,514
I will.

2241
01:47:40,640 --> 01:47:41,914
- Bye.
- Bye.

2242
01:47:54,960 --> 01:47:55,960
Bye.

2243
01:48:00,360 --> 01:48:02,237
Jake! Jake!

2244
01:48:02,320 --> 01:48:04,436
- Jake! Jake! Jake!
- Jake! Jake! Jake!

2245
01:48:05,240 --> 01:48:06,240
Ah...

2246
01:48:07,160 --> 01:48:09,594
<i>Mi amigos de</i> fuckwithery!

2247
01:48:09,680 --> 01:48:11,000
How can I amuse you
this morning?

2248
01:48:11,080 --> 01:48:13,389
That was adorable.
Just the whole like...

2249
01:48:13,480 --> 01:48:15,038
I think I got a tear
in my eye, Jakie.

2250
01:48:15,120 --> 01:48:16,792
Oh, my goodness.

2251
01:48:17,280 --> 01:48:19,953
Ah, we noticed that you never
made it home last night.

2252
01:48:20,280 --> 01:48:21,280
Hmm?

2253
01:48:21,480 --> 01:48:24,472
- Are we to suppose...
- Oh, we're supposing.

2254
01:48:24,640 --> 01:48:26,949
Look, it's cool, guys.
All right. We had a nice time.

2255
01:48:27,040 --> 01:48:28,536
- Oh, "a nice time"?
- Oh, man, I know...

2256
01:48:28,560 --> 01:48:29,913
I like her.

2257
01:48:30,800 --> 01:48:32,472
- He likes her.
- He likes her.

2258
01:48:32,560 --> 01:48:34,516
You like her! Oh, God, Jake!

2259
01:48:34,600 --> 01:48:35,635
Oh...

2260
01:48:35,720 --> 01:48:38,280
Don't you guys
have class or something?

2261
01:48:38,360 --> 01:48:40,237
You know what,
I do have class.

2262
01:48:40,320 --> 01:48:42,016
But I go to class when
I say I go to class.

2263
01:48:42,040 --> 01:48:43,632
You go to class.

2264
01:48:43,720 --> 01:48:46,154
I want a full report on my desk
by the end of the day.

2265
01:48:46,240 --> 01:48:49,755
Bibliography! Annotated!
Highlighted!

2266
01:48:51,520 --> 01:48:52,748
Jake!

2267
01:48:59,720 --> 01:49:00,720
Cho!

2268
01:49:09,280 --> 01:49:11,475
It sounds like you
rocked it last night.

2269
01:49:11,560 --> 01:49:12,560
How'd you do?

2270
01:49:12,640 --> 01:49:13,993
Not bad.

2271
01:49:14,080 --> 01:49:17,231
Ended up with that tall chick
in the leather, you know,

2272
01:49:17,360 --> 01:49:18,952
- Debra Kadabra?
- Yeah?

2273
01:49:19,040 --> 01:49:20,040
Yeah, she's a senior.

2274
01:49:20,120 --> 01:49:21,553
Yeah!

2275
01:49:21,640 --> 01:49:24,837
You know, she's not, like,
actually a dominatrix.

2276
01:49:24,920 --> 01:49:26,512
I didn't get beat up
or anything.

2277
01:49:26,600 --> 01:49:28,318
- Oh, cool.
- That was just a costume.

2278
01:49:29,040 --> 01:49:31,031
Yeah, we had ourselves
a good ol' time.

2279
01:49:31,120 --> 01:49:32,348
Nice, man.

2280
01:49:32,440 --> 01:49:33,919
Who's this fuck?

2281
01:49:34,800 --> 01:49:36,870
I, uh, think
that's our professor.

2282
01:49:36,960 --> 01:49:39,076
- This guy?
- Yeah.

2283
01:49:39,160 --> 01:49:41,071
- No shit.
- Mmm-hmm.

2284
01:49:41,160 --> 01:49:44,152
You know what, man, I got outta there
about 6:00 in the morning.

2285
01:49:44,240 --> 01:49:47,232
Shit, if I wasn't still drunk,
I think I'd be fucking dead.

2286
01:49:47,320 --> 01:49:48,833
Yeah, me, too, man.

2287
01:49:48,920 --> 01:49:50,911
It's gonna be a long fucking day.

2288
01:49:51,000 --> 01:49:52,353
Yeah, but a good year.

2289
01:49:52,520 --> 01:49:53,873
I can tell, man.

2290
01:49:53,960 --> 01:49:55,871
Shit.

2291
01:49:55,960 --> 01:49:58,428
Welcome to college,
motherfuckers.

2292
01:53:52,840 --> 01:53:54,910
<i>I'm Rope a Dope
A proud Cherokee</i>

2293
01:53:55,000 --> 01:53:57,230
<i>I stay busy chopping girls'
cherry trees</i>

2294
01:53:57,320 --> 01:53:59,390
<i>I'll show you my buns
if the booze is free</i>

2295
01:53:59,520 --> 01:54:01,750
<i>Hands on the wheel
and fondue my cheese</i>

2296
01:54:01,840 --> 01:54:03,751
<i>Hey, ladies
please pass me another</i>

2297
01:54:03,840 --> 01:54:06,056
<i>I'm not a rubber lover glover
I don't need no love buffer</i>

2298
01:54:06,080 --> 01:54:08,116
<i>I'ma do like Pete Ward
and go undercover</i>

2299
01:54:08,200 --> 01:54:09,216
<i>Make a sister leave a brother</i>

2300
01:54:09,240 --> 01:54:11,231
<i>We goin' make a little trouble</i>

2301
01:54:12,840 --> 01:54:14,353
You're the new guy?

2302
01:54:14,440 --> 01:54:15,440
<i>Dale Douglas!</i>

2303
01:54:15,520 --> 01:54:17,192
<i>Flier than a Cutlass Supreme</i>

2304
01:54:17,280 --> 01:54:19,396
<i>Southeast Texas Cherokees
We the team</i>

2305
01:54:19,480 --> 01:54:21,357
<i>Finn, me, and Coma
We got Mac in between</i>

2306
01:54:21,440 --> 01:54:23,536
<i>Number one position players
Make these girls wanna scream</i>

2307
01:54:23,560 --> 01:54:25,676
<i>Wakin ' up in a dream
Lucid so sweet</i>

2308
01:54:25,760 --> 01:54:28,399
<i>We make you toothless
To put it plain and simple</i>

2309
01:54:28,480 --> 01:54:29,549
<i>We the cream of the crop</i>

2310
01:54:29,640 --> 01:54:31,676
<i>Cherokees are never leavin '
the top... Douglas</i>

2311
01:54:31,800 --> 01:54:33,870
<i>My name is Willoughby
I know the master plan</i>

2312
01:54:33,960 --> 01:54:36,190
<i>I got the sun and the stars
In the palm of my hand</i>

2313
01:54:36,280 --> 01:54:38,350
<i>Carl Sagan knows
the universe is eternal</i>

2314
01:54:38,440 --> 01:54:40,396
<i>I'm gonna burn this down
till my brain's a kernel</i>

2315
01:54:40,480 --> 01:54:44,632
<i>Dr. Finnegan, so epicurean
Indulge in the BMOC</i>

2316
01:54:44,720 --> 01:54:46,995
<i>There's only one thing
bigger than my IQ</i>

2317
01:54:47,080 --> 01:54:49,036
<i>And it stops around my knee</i>

2318
01:54:49,120 --> 01:54:51,509
<i>Let me drop a Finnegism
and make a Finnegasm</i>

2319
01:54:51,600 --> 01:54:53,477
<i>Expand the universe
Make it shudder and spasm</i>

2320
01:54:53,560 --> 01:54:54,816
<i>'Cause when you party
like a savage</i>

2321
01:54:54,840 --> 01:54:55,875
<i>Speak like a poet</i>

2322
01:54:55,960 --> 01:54:58,315
<i>You cha-chao
before you even know it</i>

2323
01:54:58,440 --> 01:54:59,616
<i>Hey, guys
The name's Alex Brumley</i>

2324
01:54:59,640 --> 01:55:00,736
<i>I'm gonna break it
to you fresh</i>

2325
01:55:00,760 --> 01:55:01,816
<i>All the guys around here
punch me</i>

2326
01:55:01,840 --> 01:55:02,976
<i>'Cause they know that
I'm the best</i>

2327
01:55:03,000 --> 01:55:04,016
<i>It's my first days of college</i>

2328
01:55:04,040 --> 01:55:05,075
<i>I'm just trying to fit in</i>

2329
01:55:05,160 --> 01:55:07,276
<i>So won't you come with me
and please be my friend?</i>

2330
01:55:07,360 --> 01:55:09,555
- Please?
- Brumley, shut the fuck up!

2331
01:55:10,360 --> 01:55:12,510
<i>Now, I'm Nesbit
No shame with no game</i>

2332
01:55:12,600 --> 01:55:14,336
<i>I'm throwing money down
the drain like no thing</i>

2333
01:55:14,360 --> 01:55:16,555
<i>The best in a-gambling
Nesbit's a-rambling</i>

2334
01:55:16,680 --> 01:55:18,796
<i>Submarine pitch
And the Mac can't handle it</i>

2335
01:55:18,880 --> 01:55:21,678
<i>Cherokee chow
Coo-coo-capow in Texas</i>

2336
01:55:21,760 --> 01:55:23,113
<i>With the cactus and cows</i>

2337
01:55:23,200 --> 01:55:25,316
<i>Amityville? More like Amity-vile</i>

2338
01:55:25,400 --> 01:55:27,197
<i>Sick to the bone
but we come with style</i>

2339
01:55:27,280 --> 01:55:29,396
<i>So they call me Coma
Told the girl "hop on"</i>

2340
01:55:29,520 --> 01:55:31,317
<i>Throwing cheers to my boys</i>

2341
01:55:31,400 --> 01:55:32,680
<i>'Cause I'm a superstitious fella</i>

2342
01:55:32,760 --> 01:55:33,816
<i>Known to get a little drunk</i>

2343
01:55:33,840 --> 01:55:35,671
<i>But I'm here
to make some noise</i>

2344
01:55:36,360 --> 01:55:38,669
<i>Master plan for a higher man</i>

2345
01:55:38,760 --> 01:55:40,239
<i>Do it all wrong</i>

2346
01:55:40,320 --> 01:55:43,517
<i>Don't fuck it up
to make it all right</i>

2347
01:55:43,600 --> 01:55:44,600
<i>Drink my cup</i>

2348
01:55:44,680 --> 01:55:46,636
<i>Schlong as long
as the Nile's bong</i>

2349
01:55:46,720 --> 01:55:48,790
<i>Hit it, bitch, I'm 95 strong</i>

2350
01:55:48,920 --> 01:55:51,559
<i>I'm the raw dog
Rawest of raw</i>

2351
01:55:51,640 --> 01:55:57,795
<i>Four screwdrivers
One fat straw, baby!</i>

2352
01:55:58,200 --> 01:56:00,430
<i>My name's Tyrone
but they call me Plum</i>

2353
01:56:00,520 --> 01:56:03,193
<i>I call the whole game
but they call me dumb</i>

2354
01:56:03,280 --> 01:56:06,158
<i>Beer for breakfast
My Cap'n Crunch</i>

2355
01:56:06,240 --> 01:56:09,277
<i>Spread your girl's legs
and then I have lunch</i>

2356
01:56:09,360 --> 01:56:11,476
<i>Well, hey, oh, hey
This will make your day</i>

2357
01:56:11,560 --> 01:56:13,516
<i>Boy, they call me Billy A</i>

2358
01:56:13,600 --> 01:56:15,875
<i>I like to chew and a-spit
And throw a ball a little bit</i>

2359
01:56:15,960 --> 01:56:17,996
<i>Boy, you better stay out
of my way</i>

2360
01:56:18,200 --> 01:56:20,191
<i>Enough with that, Jake here
Just a chill dude</i>

2361
01:56:20,280 --> 01:56:22,430
<i>I'll sweep you off your feet
No need to be crude</i>

2362
01:56:22,520 --> 01:56:24,376
<i>If I sense any question
I'll put you to the test</i>

2363
01:56:24,400 --> 01:56:26,789
<i>If it's a crime to be sexy
then you're under arrest</i>

2364
01:56:26,880 --> 01:56:28,632
<i>- You talkin' to me?
- No, can't you see?</i>

2365
01:56:28,720 --> 01:56:29,994
<i>Well, who you talking to?</i>

2366
01:56:30,080 --> 01:56:31,149
<i>Uh, dude, not you</i>

2367
01:56:31,240 --> 01:56:33,117
<i>Well, okay, dude,
you kinda rude</i>

2368
01:56:33,200 --> 01:56:35,634
<i>I ain 't really a fan
of that attitude</i>

2369
01:56:35,720 --> 01:56:37,551
<i>As I was saying before
Billy interrupted</i>

2370
01:56:37,640 --> 01:56:38,880
<i>We just having
good times, baby</i>

2371
01:56:38,960 --> 01:56:39,960
<i>Nothing too corrupted</i>

2372
01:56:40,040 --> 01:56:41,996
<i>If you need a little insight
on who I am</i>

2373
01:56:42,080 --> 01:56:44,355
<i>Let me break it down for you
right now with my jam</i>

2374
01:56:44,440 --> 01:56:46,271
<i>Unlike Finn I don't drop
to the knee</i>

2375
01:56:46,400 --> 01:56:48,516
<i>'Cause I got a bigger secret
I drop to my feet</i>

2376
01:56:48,600 --> 01:56:50,670
<i>I'm the kinda guy
that'll meet you after class</i>

2377
01:56:50,760 --> 01:56:52,830
<i>Take pride in my pitching
Like Rope and his ass</i>

2378
01:56:52,920 --> 01:56:55,036
<i>Now, come over here
with those luscious thighs</i>

2379
01:56:55,120 --> 01:56:57,793
<i>I'll make you feel loved
while Willy's getting high</i>