Username: twat_brained

Album: Born This Way: I think I had my profile picture as me holding the CD for a week or so; I bought it the day it came out.

Marry the Night: 10 Gaga just sings with so much conviction and power and when it gets to the first chorus, the song just does not let up. Anyone who gives this less than a 10 should probably get a hearing test. Please don't rob this like you did in the Videography rate.

Born This Way: 7.7 My CD started skipping through the final bridge. I think it was trying to do me a favor. I love the message behind this, but the lyrical choices aren't the best here. As a whole, this is fun to dance to, but its overall quality is not the best. I think that's how the whole album is gonna play out, honestly.

Government Hooker: 8.2 We should give Stormy Daniels a reality show and have this as the main theme am I right??? Jokes aside this foreshadowed the current political climate a bit more accurately than I would've liked.

Judas: 10 I remember making it a mission of mine to learn the choreo for this and then performing said choreo at someone's bat mitzvah party along with one of the hired entertainers. Fun stuff. That being said, this is every bit as good as when it was when I heard it for the first time on April 16, 2011.

Americano: 8 I think the outro is a bit disconnected from the rest of the song but interestingly enough I think this could be a good prequel to Aura in some way.

Hair: 7.3 The message this song sends out is a beautiful and inspiring one, but I can't help but think of Monsters who either have alopecia or some other form of disease which means they have to shave their hair off. Also, the post-chorus breakdown detracts from the song IMO.

Scheiße: 6.2 Hip jokes aren't funny anymore it's 2018. Neither are jokes about Joanne's death. Also, lmao at Gaga thinking I wouldn't find out that this is just a separate draft of "Judas". I may be younger than your target audience, but I can still tell when and where you cut corners.

Bloody Mary: 9.8 When I look back on the Born This Way, the song I most associate with it isn't any of the singles, nor is it one of the fillery cuts. It's "Bloody Mary"; it combines religious text and imagery with a dark, funky beat. And Gaga thrives on songs like these. The only thing holding it back from a 10 is the strange vocal effect during the second verse.

Black Jesus + Amen Fashion: 7 I wonder if when Gaga wrote "Fashion" for ARTPOP, she drew inspiration from this song. It wouldn't surprise me, honestly.

Bad Kids: 7.5 I don't think I've ever listened to this the whole way through. I never noticed how lovely the bridge sounds. The synths also complement the song really well. My biggest criticism is that the intro doesn't relate to the song at all, so I question the need for it in the first place.

Fashion of His Love: 4 Even a key change doesn't save this from being blatant Madonna-lite filler.

Highway Unicorn (Road to Love): 7.9 I see a lot of potential in the lyrics but if the verses were polished better and less basic then it would be an easy 10. Not to mention the outro is lengthier than it needs to be.

Heavy Metal Lover: 10 I can tell that this was what turned into Venus on ARTPOP, but what I love most about this song is that there's a combination of every Gaga era from 2008-2013 in here. This is bold but I'm calling at least a top 20 on this.

Electric Chapel: 9.4 The guitars in this song are EVERYTHING! I was actually in a really shitty mood before this came on and hearing this honestly reinvigorated me so much.

The Queen: 6 I'd never actually listened to this in full even after 7 years of owning this album. It is an epic song, in the truest sense of the word. And I think that's its biggest weakness. It just has so much energy when Gaga sings the first few verses and chorus, but the tempo change just takes so much away from it.

Yoü and I: 8.2 True Monsters like myself knew about this song all the way back in the days of the Monster Ball Tour because she'd perform it live, so I was really looking forward to a studio version. So, when I heard the album version, I expected something even better than the only version I knew; the live version. I was rather underwhelmed when I first heard it, and I haven't really warmed up to it since. It's a fantastic song which shows off Gaga's vocals, but it leaves me longing for something more.

The Edge of Glory: 11 I went into this rate dead set on giving a Femme Fatale song my 11, at the risk of betraying my flair. Going through Born This Way, however, I was looking forward to this one track, because I knew how great it was, but I think I underestimated how great. Right from the first vocals, I felt a chemical rush through me. Whether it was dopamine, serotonin, or a mix of the two I'm not sure. What I am sure of, though, is that this is easily the best song on the album, the best song in the rate and perhaps the best song of 2011. I will be heartbroken if this doesn't win the rate.

Album: 4: One Direction outsold and outskinnied lmao

1+1: 6 It's funny that 1+1 equals 2 because I'm giving it a 2

…times 5minus4 :janet:

I Care: 8 Normally I'm not a fan of Beyonce's falsetto but it doesn't feel too out of place here. A great effort from her on this.

I Miss You: 6.4 Julia Michaels found… trembling in her heels slightly but rather nonplussed. :hmmm:

Best Thing I Never Had: 10 Do I have singles bias? Probably. But this was the highest-charting song on this album for a reason, and I think I can see that reason. It's cathartic, powerful, endearing; everything I could ever want in a Beyonce song.

Party (ft. André 3000): 6.4 This doesn't make me wanna party and since Kanye is already on this track he should've had that verse instead of 3K. I'm thinking this one'll fall either just inside or outside the top 30.

Rather Die Young: 6.8 My heart is not beating to the beat of the drum on this, and it just feels like filler to me.

Start Over: 7 This heavily reminds me of "Change Your Life" by Little Mix, especially the chorus. That being said, it's an okay tune but I don't see myself coming back to it that much, if at all.

Love on Top: 8 Okay, I get it, you have an incredibly wide range. Stop rubbing it in everyone's faces.

Countdown: 8.7 Did she just call Jay-Z a 10? L M MF A O I'm impressed at myself that I was able to determine it because there is at least 28% of the song I can't really decipher. The bombasts on this song are really what make it for me.

End of Time: 10 James Arthur and Lana Del Rey found broke and wigless. Not dead in a ditch bc I don't normally wish death upon others

I Was Here: 4 If this is supposed to be triumphant or something why do I feel like falling asleep?

Run the World (Girls): 7.6 Don't get me wrong, I think Beyoncé is a fabulous woman and I have immense respect for her and the fortune she's built. In fact, this song reminds me a lot of "Lose My Breath", which I consider the best DC3 single. But "you'll do anything for me" doesn't convince me, because apparently nowhere does "you will stay faithful to me" fall under that category.

Lay Up Under Me: 8.6 I'm really feeling the funky flavors on this one!

Schoolin' Life: 8.7 The synths really make the song in this case. I remember not really being into this the first time I heard this, for some reason. It's definitely grown on me, though!

Dance For You: 7.1 PUMAHBODEHONYOBODEH Also this is pretty funny in hindsight when you consider Lemonade but then again Lemonade gave us "Don't Hurt Yourself". The song does NOT need to be 6 minutes long, though. I don't care what kind of guitar acrobatics are in the outro.

Dreaming: 10 Why can't this be the only song about dreams in Bey's discography? Why does the earsore that is "Sweet Dreams" exist?

Album: Femme Fatale: Don't you mean "Fatte Female"?

Till the World Ends: 10 # WHOA-OH OH OH OH OH OH OHHHHHH * 8 All tea this song is aging a lot better than it probably should, but I will still do my damndest to slay the choreo when I am 20 just as I did when I was 12.

Hold It Against Me: 10 Fun fact when I was 13 I danced perfectly to this song's beat at a middle school dance with a bunch of 13/14 year old girls and I think I discovered I wasn't straight that night.

Inside Out: 6 When I think of early 2010s-songs which haven't aged well this will come to the forefront alongside the likes of LMFAO and Far East Movement.

I Wanna Go: 7.8 I still like this but this admittedly hasn't aged as well as the other singles.

How I Roll: 4 I never listened to this in full and it disappoints me; I remember people calling this one of Britney's standout deep cuts. It just feels basic, kinda like an updated version of "That's Where You Take Me". What saves it from the other cuts is that it's safe rather than offensively unlistenable.

(Drop Dead) Beautiful (ft. Sabi): 3 "You must be B.I.G. cause you got me hypnotized" At least Halsey tried to be respectful of his legacy. Also why are so many songs on this album in B minor? This, Up n Down and Gasoline. The difference is that those songs have replay value. This one is just a letdown.

Seal It with a Kiss: 7 Just when you think Britney has invented everything, she goes and invents telepathy! What can't she do? Other than perform like her teenage self?

Big Fat Bass (ft. will.i.am): 3 Why does it take so long to get to the first verse? The intro was terrible 10 seconds in, so why it lasted longer than that I don't need to know. Also, it's painfully evident this was a separate draft of "Don't Stop The Party". This is not a good song but I feel like it can be a grower in the right environment. It makes me wanna listen to "Scream and Shout", which is honestly much better.

Trouble for Me: 5 This is just "Seal It With A Kiss" with even less replay value.

Trip to Your Heart: 7.6 Cute but not really that memorable in comparison to the rest of the album.

Gasoline: 9.2 https://twitter.com/britneyxcheetos/status/952185297042886656 Those moans at the bridge I can do without but other than that this is fantastic.

Criminal: 10 I love this single and I love the single's video. What I DON'T love is the realization that Britney and Jason filmed this video together and then broke up shortly after, and I remembered that Britney and Sam filmed "Slumber Party" together. I ship Samney really hard so if their relationship ended in a messy way like it did with Jason I'd be really upset.

Up'n Down: 10 This is the PERFECT anthem to not only slutbop to but to slut DROP to as well! The shoutout to "Hot As Ice" makes this a true standout on the album.

He About to Lose Me: 1 Who heard this and decided it should be allowed on the album? The chorus is godawful.

Selfish: 6.4 The "private show" schtick should've just began and ended here. This one I don't particularly love but if it's this or PS I'll always pick "Selfish".

Don't Keep Me Waiting: 5.8 This one is really forgettable but the outro kinda got me back into it. After hearing the deluxe bops on Glory my expectations were a bit too high going into this album.

Scary: 6.7 I think she meant to say "invade" but on Genius the lyric says "I'm gonna in-feed you" lmao. Other than that I can appreciate this as a Halloween bop of sorts.

Album: Talk That Talk:

You da One: 9 I always found this one to be quite underrated honestly.

Where Have You Been: 8.6 There are better uses of classic songs in EDM hits (i.e. "Levels") but this is still really fun to jam out to!

We Found Love (ft. Calvin Harris): 10 There's a reason this is Rihanna's longest-running #1 single in her repertoire. Calvin is largely responsible for this course, but Rih's airy vocals here really make me feel like I'm atop the world like she was atop the Hot 100 in fall 2011.

Talk That Talk (ft. Jay-Z): 6.4 "singer/actress in my bedroom" :tasha: This one is good for a good pussy pop here and there but let's be real, lightning isn't striking twice after "Umbrella" in 2007.

Cockiness (Love It): 5 Boy I want u/Yoooooouuuuuuuu
Did Charli rip this off when she made "I Got It"? That's what it sounds like.

Birthday Cake: 3 I am glad this ended when it did because this is vapid and unnecessary.

We All Want Love: 9 I'm guessing this is the token Out Of Genre Rihanna Song™ for this album? It actually sounds surprisingly good. I wouldn't mind seeing R9 having more songs like this. Also, is it just me or did Tove Lo take inspiration from this for "Over"? I'll be damned if I'm the only one hearing that.

Drunk on Love: 7.8 Anyone else getting about "Thinking Bout You" vibes here?

Roc Me Out: 5.1 This isn't convincing enough to me

Watch n' Learn: 5.8 "Just because I can't kiss back doesn't mean you can't kiss back" Wow we love an ingenious lyrical wuneen, don't we? The fact that this one of the song's more "intellectual" lyrics doesn't say much. This really is little more than filler to me.

Farewell: 2 Even for pre-ANTi Rihanna this feels like filler; it just sounds like a lousy rehash of "California King Bed". I almost want to fall asleep listening to this. Is it even worth finishing?

Red Lipstick: 1 I can't imagine this was well-received when it came out and it's aged horribly. If I find myself giving a 0 in this rate this is definitely in contention.

Do Ya Thang: 8.1 This one is actually quite pleasant. It reminds me of AGLM/GGGB-era Rih, which is what I think she was going for here.

Fool in Love: 4.2 Nice flourish with the guitar at the end, but this one just feels somewhat unnecessary, honestly. Maybe if she'd saved this as a demo for ANTi and reworked it then it may have been salvaged, but… I'm not feeling this.

Cockiness (Love It) (Remix) (ft. A$AP Rocky): 3.8 Rocky's verse actually brings this song down IMO and the fact that it just makes the song longer even further deters me from wanting to listen to it.

Birthday Cake (Remix) (ft. Chris Brown): 3.7 This one is marginally better than its first iteration, but only because Chris brings something to it. He doesn't bring anything that I like, nor do I see this as anything but a fillery mess. Honestly, the amount of times  the word "cake" in said in this song will most likely rival this song's final score when the reveal time comes🤣🤣

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