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- just this thing i didn't bin way back whenever
- -------------------------------------
- >You are Anon
- >You woke up in the woods a few days ago and managed to wander into a village.
- >Thing is, the village is full of horses.
- >Tiny, unnaturally-coloured horses.
- >You thought it was cute at first; somebody had set up a big ol' mock village for their pets to play in.
- >That was until the horses stopped acting like horses and started acting like intelligent creatures.
- >They whinneyed and knickered at each other as though they actually understood - like they had a spoken language.
- >Two days ago, you were convinced that you were hallucinating.
- >Yesterday, you were pretty sure that you were in a coma instead and this was all a dream.
- >Today, after two days of sleeping on the hard ground, you are willing to accept that this might actually be real.
- >You are Anon, and you are currently trying to sell your shirt.
- "C'mon, who wants it?"
- >You wave your shirt around, trying to gather attention.
- "It's a really nice shirt, everybody. I bought it on sale at Walmart for ten dollars."
- >A couple of horses stop to look at you, but most of them turn around and just walk away.
- >........
- >.....horses don't wear clothes.
- >Fuck.
- >This is the worst.
- >"Whiiiirrrhrhhuhruhuh!"
- >A horse noise captures your attention.
- >Six horses stand before you, each standing next to each other in a line.
- >You got a white horn-horse, a purple horn-horse, a blue wing-horse, a yellow wing-horse, an orange horse-horse, and a pink horse-horse.
- >Do THESE horses want the shirt?
- >Do horses eat shirts, or is that goats?
- >Fuck it, they're close enough.
- >Maybe purple horses with horns eat shirts.
- >You give your shirt a nice wave and hold it out by the shoulders, giving each of these potential customers a look at what you got to sell.
- "It's plaid. A nice red plaid. You see these buttons?"
- >You grab your shirt by the collar with one hand and fiddle around with the buttons on front with the other.
- "Real plastic. You guys eat plastic, right?"
- >God, you feel weak.
- >You ate a bunch of plants and leaves, but they don't seem to be doing too much in ways of nutrition.
- >You can't really focus that well, and you aren't 100% sure of what you're saying right now.
- >The white horn-horse breaks formation and walks closer to inspect your goods, despite all the other horses neighing and stomping their hooves at her.
- >It?
- >Her.
- >Yeah, you can see EVERYTHING on these horses.
- >It's been a long 3 days, so you had nothing better to do than look at horse pussy.
- >You're reasonably sure you have a handle on horse biology; the females are more circular and the males tend to be a bit more boxy.
- >Quicker than your tired-ass brain can respond to, the white horn-horse horn-glows your shirt right out of your hands and brings it close to her face to inspect it.
- >Finally, a sale!
- >.....
- >Wait, fuck.
- >What do these horses use as currency?
- >Do they even HAVE currency?
- >Fuck's sake. You just gave away your shirt for free, didn't you?
- >This shit's the worst.
- >The orange horse walks up to the white horse and makes quiet horse noises at her.
- >The white horse's ears go all floppy and she hands the shirt back to you.
- >Fuck!
- >You really thought you had something there.
- >Goddammit.
- >The six horses all form a circle and make a bunch of horse noises at each other, occasionally poking their heads up to look at you.
- >The blue one starts staring, so you wave at her; she immediately pulls her head back into the circle of horses.
- >It's just a few seconds longer until they break away and walk over to you.
- >They all stop about three feet away from you, except for one.
- >The blue one you waved at trots smartly over to you and does that weird horse-laugh where they pull back their lips and bear their teeth.
- >After that, she bats at your chest with a blue hoof.
- >She doesn't stop.
- >Why is she rubbing you?
- >Half-delirious, you decide that the best course of action is to pull the blue horse into your lap and hug her.
- >Fuuuuuuck, she's soft.
- >All that not food you were eating suddenly catches up to you, and you pitch sideways and fall unconscious.
- >You are Twilight, and you are shaking your head at this pitiful display.
- >You'd received word about a strange minotaur in town, but you didn't think it sounded too dangerous.
- >Just an hour ago, a bunch of concerned ponies informed you that the minotaur was a prostitute, and you decided to investigate.
- >This town is too nice to have prostitutes!
- >Ponyville has a poor enough reputation as it is thanks to all those disasters that strike (some of which you may or may not have a hoof in on)
- >What you saw nearly broke your heart.
- >The creature, eyes glazed over, was sitting in the middle of town, flaunting his body for everypony to see.
- >He was clothed from head to foot except for the torso-cloth he was waving around - trying to drum up business, you guess.
- >What a poor state he was in.
- >The first thing he did when he saw the Elements of Harmony was to show off his lingerie.
- >But you know what to do.
- >You'll take him home, give him a bath, cook him a nice meal, and let him sleep in your bed!
- >Rainbow laughed at you when you said all that and called you a dyke.
- >In the end, Rainbow Dash offered him bits for his service and he gladly accepted.
- >Belly-to-belly rutting?
- >2lewd4you.
- >You all walked away to give them a bit of privacy.
- And then they fucked.
- End.
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