Thread 62: Stories 46-60

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>Sunset Shimmer
“Empire stallion”
~~~~~~~~~~
Traffic from the Empire to Equestria seemed to be plentiful enough to warrant two day and two night trains, a a lucky break for Sunset Shimmer. To pass time the she made due by filling the brand new research journal she had prepared before her journey, three different newspapers neatly folded up and marked with footnotes laying on the bench beside her.

She looks up from her current conversation, as does the stallion in front of her, to gaze upon the brilliant column of fire in the distance, seemingly enveloping part of the Empire. None of the other passengers seemed particularly fazed, only quiet curiosity in their eyes. It left her to wonder how something as easily spooked as a pony could become this detached.

>Hmph. Bet somepony rigged the portal to blow the moment I stepped through. Can't have been Celestia. She knows I am good enough at Pyrokinesis to ignore that kind of shit. Unless she forgot. Again. Wouldn't surprise me at this point. Now, Twilight? If so, wow. Kudos for trying to keep her position as the princess' favored student in case I changed my mind. Power of friendship my shapely ass.

The posh-looking Crystal pony in front of her looks baffled in response, averting his gaze from the spectacle on the horizon to stare at her.

“Ex-excuse me? Do you mean to imply he princesses would bring down a tornado of fire just to stop you? Who *ARE* you, again?

>Sunset Faust-bucking Shimmer, that's who. You brought up a good point though; the princesses. You were about to tell me EVERYTHING about them. Go on, Rubinstein, we've got all night.

Setting the pen back down with her telekinesis, she looks expectantly at him, mild annoyance on her face for the interruption. He felt like he should feel indignant for the gall of this mare to command him around like that. But the rapt attention she was giving him plus the fact that she cared enough to remember his name make him smile awkwardly and resume his tale.

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Canon debatable
>DT
"Spike"
~~~
At a bar in the Royal Castle...

"Hey, aren't you up a bit late for a school- oh, fuck it."

>Well fuck yourself too, what drags you away from Applejack's ass?

"I was assisting Twilight, though I finished up. You? What's with the forlorn look into your milk? Where's Silver Spoon?"

>She already went home, and I'm just drowning my sorrows. Tried to work with the guards and... They just don't have the spirit. It's like Cordyceps completely mind fucked them over.

"It kind of was a scary thing, but I know what you mean... Hey, lemme get you something."

>Whiskey? Didn't you just say I was a little young?

"After letting you get booted for bullshit reasons, it's the least I can do. Besides, old enough to lug keep lethal weapons, old enough to drink, right?"

Spike pours them both shots

"Ready for your entering into marehood?"

>So you got me drinks, you're gonna bed me after this?

"Nah, but this is still a pretty big passage: being miserable enough to need booze."

>I'll toast to that!

One bottle later...

>Shee... Ah'm thinkin'... Ah'm thinkin' we jush' need ta get folksh fired up again... Maybe even try ta appeal ta folksh my age? Ya know?

"Dude, that is evil and amoral to indoctrinate children. ... But what the hell?"

>Doeshn't haffta be evil long ash we do it reshponshibly! We need ta give 'em... Patriotic pride! Cryshtal Empirium- Vempire- E-... Big place! They're shtill fresh off tha patriotism shing o'... You know... Shlavery... Shtandin' united... Equesh-marine games... An' all that shit...

"Nevermind they survive because of it. Whose idea was it to build an Empire in the middle of a tundra?"

>Idiotsh.

"Well, back to the point... Maybe we need some kind of new recruitment video?"

>... That'sh brilliant! and Ah know jush' tha thing!

A trip to the simulator later...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGc4B1V0ZaQ [Embed]

"This is cool, DT, but what's America? We were supposed to do one for the Guard."

>Zzzzzz... Zzzzz...

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NC addition
>DT
"Shining"
~~~~

>You! The shtate of our guardsh ish all your faultsh.

"Oh no no no no no no noooo!"
Pukes on him.

>now if you'll excushe me...I have a recruiting commershal to make.

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>42
"Sombra"
~~~

"Is the little one asleep, at last?"

The soldier gave a stern nod, continuing her patrol without stopping. The Wisp followed her, smoothly moving into step.

"I'm quite impressed, you managed it well."

>Her bedtime was pushed back, she did not get her full dinner meal, she over-ate the sweets she wasn't supposed to and her bath was interrupted. My performance was less than exemplary.

"She is a child after all, it is to be expected that she would be a bit rowdy."

>I would not know.

"I suppose not... still, I doubt Shining Armor will blame you too much."

>I am hopeful my performance was at the level to assuage any future fears on the matter, and allow him to spend more time out with them.

"You mean Cadence and Eighteen?"

>Indeed. Cadence has not been on a romantic dinner date in months, she misses it. With the frequent invasions and subsequent injuries he always manages to sustain, it is becoming more difficult for them to spend time together. Personal time is good for a long term relationship.

"True, it is very true... and Eighteen as well?"

>Of course. She has longed for time like this, and mediating between them is a good opportunity for Cadence and her to become closer. This is also good for a relationship... allegedly.

"You've been studying?"

>Studying is the wrong word for the matter. I am merely acquainting myself with psychological aspects for better use in defending them.

"I was unaware that regarding the intricacies of a threesome made one a better guard."

>It is important to know how someone will react in a crisis. Shining will act differently if both of them are his l-... a-hem, if both of them are in a more personal relationship.

"I see... and how will he react to you?"

>Hopefully deferring to myself for battles and focusing on keeping Cadence and Eighteen safe. Cadence, while no slouch in power, is more suited for healing than direct confrontation, she is meant to be kept away from the battle and prevent sickness and repair stamina.

"I see... I see... you have put an awful lot of thought into defending Cadence in particular."

>It is my duty.

"Yes, I suppose it is..."

He smiled, a wicked, conspiratorial smile.

"It is your duty to watch over her body, yes? Every inch?"

>It would be silly to assume some parts were going to break loose and flee.

"Oh?... How would you rate her fur, then?"

>Properly maintained and full of luster.

"Her hair?"

>Hours of maintenance allow it to hold volume and shape.

"Her face?"

>...

"..."

>...It is a face.

"Really?"

>Nothing more to be said on it.

"Really?"

>I certainly wouldn't want it damaged, but I do not want any part of her damaged.

"Really."

>What are you getting at already!?

He smiled, proud of himself for breaking her.

"Oh, nothing... just glad you can appreciate her face, since if you were hoping for a bit more in the back she's sorely lacking-'

>HER ASS IS FINE, THANK YOU! I am so sick of...

The blush on her face was legendary, completely unable to be hidden by the hoof she mashed to it.

"I seeeee."

>Shut up.

"...You are letting it distract you."

>I AM NOT!

"I will prove it."

>HOW!?

"You didn't even notice Shining Armor just got shot out of the Empire."

>...

"..."

>...

"..."

>...Wait what?

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Spitfire"
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I keep it going for my fans! Now for our main guest...SPITFIRE!!!
Spitfire wanders in confused.

"Whoa when did-"

>It's great that you're here, but tell us...did you have a little something something going on with Shining Armor in the past?

"Wha-"

>Thanks for coming on the show and providing shipping fuel! It was great to have a former Wonderbolt with us!

"No wait, don't end on-"

>It's going to hurt a little when you wake up.
Spitfire wakes up in a hospital.

"...ow"

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>Poindexter
"Cadence"
[18]
{Mane-Iac}
~???~
'???'
~~~~

>You uh... you think he's okay?

The pretty peppy pink princess of the land of sparkly ponies and shiny crystals overseen by the magical jewel powered by love was not one to normally do something as droll as glare at someone for asking a question, especially not to a friend of her dearly beloved husband. One would have to be particularly foul to get something like that from her.

That look cast from the shadows did nothing for his withering self confidence.

>Just... come on, I don't want her to hurt him. That looked like a pretty bad blow.

"Yes, it did."

He was not what you would call, 'a mare's stallion', and did not spend a lot of time with them and he did not know of their many mysteries. But he could tell when one was pissed.

She was very much that.

>...C-can I ask some advice?

Again, it was quite hard to see her look in the shadow from which she hid, but even he could recognize certain looks in her eyes.

>I'm serious... l-look... does Shining have a point?

His eyes cast to the side, to where Mane-Iac was staring off into the distance.

She looked... wrong. They could all tell it just from a glance. It wasn't merely the look of off-kilter shock on her face, it wasn't the fact her hair had become severely less animated, she was simply... wrong.

{...That... that was a big hit.}

Beside her, the still disguised Eighteen looked off into where the pair had been launched. She too had seen the magic that showed he was alive, but she could not let herself reduce her stress in the least, could not do anything but stare with wide searching eyes at where they had gone, looking for any sign of the white stallion. Or, at the very least, the pegasus.

At least that way she could make her anger known.

Brutally.

{It looked like it hurt...}

Eighteen was only sort of listening to the mare as she looked on, not really paying any mind to her. Even if she had, it was doubtful she would understand what was going through the mind of the Mane-Iac.

This was not how this was supposed to go, the maniacal mare thought. Battles between heroes were supposed to be short and end in a tie, and then they would go onto the bigger thing, whatever that was. They weren't supposed to do real damage to each other, because then how could they fight the big threat that was coming next?

And they weren't supposed to be that mad at each other. It was just a misunderstanding, right? This wasn't supposed to go this far.

...They weren't supposed to get hurt.

It pained the earth pony to look at her, to see her so much... not her.

>If she going to... not be her anymore?

Eyes that had been filled with anger changed, quite noticeably. As princess of Love, for how little that title had meant in recent days, matters of the heart resonated with her more than it would most.

>I don't... damn it.

He squirmed, shifted and shuffled, wiggling with everything he had in an attempt to break free of the two weighing him down.

>Was he right? Come on, you're the princess of love, should I just... give up?

It was a matter she should have foreseen, really. Due to her title and closeness to Shining, why wouldn't she be one of the first he went to for these matters? Why wouldn't he look to her? Shouldn't he have? Wasn't this the best option? Shouldn't she, as the one who lords over this abstract concept, be on the ball in rectifying the situation?

She should have.

She knew she should have.

>...Cadence? Should I... should I keep trying? I want to be with her, and I know she likes me too, but maybe Shining is right, and I'm risking making her not... her. I couldn't stand it if something like that happened.

But she didn't.

"...Follow your heart?"

He glared at her. He actually, for the first time since they had known each other in their long history, glared at her. She had never seen a look like that, never seen him so utterly... angry.

>What kind of load is that!? Follow my heart!? That's the most standard, non-answer you can give anybody! You might as well tell me to follow my nose for all the good it does me! My heart wants stuff, sure, but if it had it's way I would binge eat on those Slime-ball marshmallows until I burst because my heart doesn't know jack squat! It makes me want, it doesn't make me make good choices!

She knew this, of course. She knew, fully well, that it was just a last-minute vague answer one gave when they were totally, utterly out of ideas. It was a last ditch effort.

The fact she had started with it told him, as much as herself, just what kind of state she was in.

>I need some actual advice here! Should I just give up? Risk it and go for it? What do I do here!?

She had nothing.

...Not a single thing for him.

>Fine! Whatever!

At last, he squirmed his way free.

>I'll just go, okay!? Fine. Doesn't even... nobody cares anyway.

She did not stop him as he started to walk off. Not a word, not a thing.

{...Poindexter?}

The confusion in her voice was palatable, unsettling even.

{Where are you going? Poindexter? Don't... don't you want to wait for Luminous Shield so you can finish your fight? You still have to finish it.... Poindexter?}

Slowly, she continued to become less animated.

{...Poindexter?}

[SHINY!]

Every single head in area, perhaps the entire Empire, whipped over to her elated, joyous voice.

Sure enough, making his way slowly through the snow in long, wobbly steps was Shining Armor himself. At his side, the mare who had just rocket punched him clear out of his own kingdom.

And they were both smiling.

No shortage of relief was to be found, be it in the mares of his life or the guard or the citizens, as he walked through the shield. Those who knew him well, of course, could see that the smile plastered onto his face was more than a little forced, even though there was a bit of genuineness underneath it. Unlike Spitfire's, who's smile only covered up nervousness and uncertainty.

~There is no way this is going to work.~

'It'll work.'

~Nobody is going to buy this.~

'They're all going to buy it.'

~Your wife hates me.~

'She does not.'

~We should do this later.~

'If we do, it'll look to the tabloids like we're backpeddling.'

~...This isn't going to work.~

'HUSH!'

None heard their mumbles, of course. Or if they had they were far too polite to say anything. Nonetheless, the pair held the rapt attention of absolutely everyone as they made their way through to the edge of the crystal garden, right where it al had began.

Magic came from his horn, forming into a boxy shape to make an impromptu podium right in the middle of the crowd. Instinctively, the guards took position, waiting in front as both he and the pegasus made their way up to it. Their attempts to make it look like they were merely close instead of depending on each other to stay upright were... fruitless, at best.

Shining Armor cleared his throat as he trotted forwards, Spitfire hanging back just beyond him so that he may address his ponies personally.

'Hello, Crystal Empire!'

The cheesy, political tone betrayed the fact it very much still hurt to speak, and breath, and live... just in general, really.

'Sorry for the...'

Eighteen cursed the fact he chose that moment to look at her, just as she was scrambling up to get onto the podium with her. She shot him a look as she did so. To anyone else, it was 'no no, please go on'. To Shining Armor, that look said 'roll with it, I'm playing the role of Cadence tonight.'

Surprisingly, this one was not sexual in nature.

Still, he gave a bit of a concerned glance to her, which everyone expected as he moved to help her and did not see the hidden meaning that meant he wanted her to be her right now, but another look told him Cadence coming out right now would be a very, very bad idea. Why, he didn't know, but he trusted her.

Diligently, she took his side as a wife would, and he whispered into her ear.

'Do they know about why we were fighting?'

[No, nobody was around and I didn't say anything.]

'Perfect! Just roll with what I'm about to do, okay?'

Again, this one was surprisingly unsexual in nature... much to Eighteen's dissapointment.

'...My Empire! Well... I'm sure you're all wondering what, uh... what that was all about, yeah?'

Was it illegal to give their Prince a look that may as well have been a neon 'NO SHIT'?

If so, there would not be a free pony by the end of the night.

'Well, it's like this... so, as some of you may have known, we have not had a sufficient airforce for... ever. Nobody wishes to take the position nor has the training to create an effective one. Our... a-hem, guest trainer-'

Every single one of them rolled their eyes.

'- is likewise not very proficient in flying. So she is no help there. We simply do not have an airforce, period.'

They all knew this, of course. It was about as well kept a secret as the fact the Queen of the changelings spent some time over in the Empire.

'And as pretty much all of you know, we almost got invaded by ponies taken over by plant monsters.'

Again, they all did. Kind of hard to miss that one.

...Even though they absolutely did miss that one...

'Well! Those are kind of connected. See, we were caught over there during the invasion and offered aide, but I had no way to warn you all. And we had no scouts to warn you all. See the issue?'

Again, not a pony would be free.

'Well, recently, for those that have not heard, Spitfire has officially quit the Wonderbolts! Now, at first, she came over here just offering to give some classes for better fliers. We got to talking and long story short she heard of my lack of captain, and decided to see if the position was available to non-Empire citizens.'

A sense of unease swept through them.

'We used to work together, me and Spitfire. We were both, at one point, the highest ranking soldiers in the Equestrian Military. I know that, if she applies herself, she is capable of being a good leader.'

That uneasiness only increased.

'I know what you're all thinking, and that was... pretty much my thinking too. Why would I let her try after the recent scandals in the past? Why would I give her a chance with our military, at all?... Besides the fact I do not have wings and my wife will try to make you all go into co-ordinated dance routines, so we're not an option.'

A low chuckle swept through the crowd.

'Point is, I was like you all, and thought 'maybe the Spitfire I knew wasn't there anymore'... but when the invasion happened...'

He sighed looking over the crowd.

'I do not know if it was reported, but Spitfire reassumed command of the Wonderbolts in the crisis when Rainbow Dash was... unavailable. She took charge, and we both fought side by side. And you know what? She did a damn good job, held it together through an unspeakable nightmare and she saved lives. The Spitfire I knew was there, in that fight. But I thought... maybe it was a one time thing? I needed to really know...'

Looking more like a guilty teenager than a prince, he shrugged with a goofy smile.

'So I told her to fight me.'

It was quite amazing, seeing an entire crowd blink in unison.

'I know, I know, it sounds crazy, but its true! The Spitfire I knew was a hell of a fighter, but recently she was... eehhhh? So when she told me she was trying her best to be like she was before, I had to know. So I decided to see if she still had the, pardon the pun, fire. In case any of you were wondering about how... uh... intense it got, I take full responsibility there. I outright told her if she held back a single bit, she was out of the running and gone...'

He nursed one of his many, many bruises.

'...I'm just going to go out on a limb and say she's not disqualified for that.'

Another chuckle, punctuated only by a weary, uncertain sigh from the prince.

'...I know she was... terrible at her job recently, and that likely she should not be given a second chance by you all. But Spitfire is one of the most talented, hardest working mares I ever had the pleasure of knowing back in the day. She lost her way... big time. But she wants to be better, and I need an airforce to keep you all safe.'

He held up a hoof, pleading.

'I'm not asking you all to trust her right away, but if you will let me, I would like to give her a chance. If you don't wish it, though... then I will accept it. Because, in the end, it is you I'm doing this for, and if you do not feel safe with her... then I must do everything I can to make you feel safe, even if that means leaving her.'

Confused, uncertain voices flooded him. Some outright denials, some more just weary... none of them positive.

There was a weight in Spitfire's chest. She knew, without question, this was not going to go her way, and from the look on Shining Amor's face, he knew it as well. He had tried, she would give him that... but she supposed there was just no saving her. She had fallen, and that's where she was to stay.

And she had nobody to blame but herself.

So wrapped up in her own crushing defeat, she dd not notice when two thinking, searching eyes looked at her, flickering between her and Shining. Eyes that had, at first, held pure anger and hate for the one who had ruined her night, for the one who had taken away what was to be the most magical of times and turned it to a night of fear for her Empire. Eyes who's hate simmered... and changed.

She knew, no, she felt the pain from both of them, and she could not stand. As much as she wished pain upon the mare that had hurt Shining in more ways than one, she could not stand by as he was caused more. He was trying...

[Well! I have to say, this is almost as bad as the time you brought home that goldfish and asked if we could keep it. I still have no idea where you got that thing!]

And she could do nothing else.

Eighteen trotted towards them, moving just a bit beyond Shining Armor, putting herself closer to the crowd before turning to him.

Playfully, she bopped him on the nose while the crowd laughed.

[Oh, but I understand, really I do...]

She turned again, facing the crowd.

The mare blushed, slinking back like a heckler picked out by a comedian.

[But I also know that... Shining Armor knows when someone deserves another chance, and he can see when they have the potential to be... amazing.]

She warmly smiled to them all, truly genuine without a hint of falsehood.

They smiled with her, nodded in understanding.

[And the guards certainly benefitted from seeing the potential in a guest trainer, no? And... oh, I just said I didn't need to list them. Silly me! But the point is, all over Equestria, the land I was raised, we have benefitted from second chances. Dear Auntie Luna certainly needed one. And even Discord, of all things, has been granted one!]

She sighed, looking to them all.

[My point is, I too understand that she has made... so many mistakes. But if my Shining Armor says to me she is worthy of a second chance, that she will earn it and do with it the great things he thinks she is capable of, then I stand by him.]

Her look grew less caring, more regal.

[Know that everything we do, Shining and I, is for you. We made a pledge that we would make this land all that it can be. It's not always just us. Sometimes, we must bring in an outside perspective, sometimes we must look to others to fill the gaps we cannot. When we do this, we do it for you, not us. He has fought for you, along side you, protected you as best he can and worked himself to the bone to see your home grow strong, you all know he has. I ask you for this simple request. Please, trust him. If you cannot... then we are not worthy to be your rulers. You need to believe in us, that we will not misuse your trust for our own gain, that we will not succumb to nepotism and personal friendships placed first. If you cannot, if there is any fear we will put our personal desires over the betterment of this land, there is nothing left to be done but to step down. fFor when we do not hold your belief, when we do not earn that belief, tyrants are born. We are here for you, you are not here for us. So please... will you trust us?]

It was instantaneous as much as it was explosive. A cheer let out throughout the crowd that rang from one end of the shield to the other. With her words, all fear was gone. With her, they were inspired again, believing again.

[We are the Crystal Empire, the land of love itself. We believe there is good in the heart of every creature, a light that needs to be nurtured, and never put out. For though the heart may sometimes grow dim... love will never die.]

She turned to her, to the yellow pegasus who openly let tears stream from her eyes, to the mare who could neither believe the sound in her ears nor the song in her heart.

[All deserve a chance to prove they are more than their past, Spitfire... but none deserve trust they will not cherish. Do you deserve it?]

~N-... not yet...~

She smiled, as much to the mare, as to the crowd that had grown silent.

[That... is exactly the right answer. Earn it, and you shall deserve it.]

~...I'll earn it....~

Another cheer, louder than the first, rang out. It lasted for what felt like a lifetime, yet it did not feel hollow when it left.

[...Well! That was certainly an exciting night, don't you all agree? You cannot say we do not make this place interesting!]

All fear gone, the laughter was upbeat and happy.

[Please, return to your night!... And Shiny? You get ONE impromptu sudden superbattle, every relationship has to give at least one, but if you do it again without telling me then you are sleeping out in the storm, mister! At least invite me too!]

They whooped and called at the blush that covered Shining Armor's face, a silly grin crossing his cheeks as his tongue poked out.

[...Well, go on! Show's over, at least until the next craziness strikes!... I get the feeling it'll happen the next time Two hears about a chocolate sale.]

At the gentle insistence of the guards, they dispersed, going about their nights or returning to their homes.

The magic they stood upon faded away, and soon they were once again walking through the crystal gardens. All held smiles on their faces... some held tears int heir eyes.

~...T-thanks Cadence...I'll... you didn't have to help me out, I would have understood if they didn't want me to work for you guys.~

She sniffled, still very openly crying in the midst of all the emotions going through her.

~Cadence, I know I messed up, but-~

Eighteen, sadly, was given no time to correct her before the pair was scooped up and hefted away from them.

{AHHAHHAHAHAHA! I KNEEEEEEEWWW IT! LUMINOUS SHIEEEEELD JUST NEEDED TO USE HIS FIST OF FRIENDSHIP!... Obviously! You just had an extra bad problem, so you had to get hit extra hard to make it all work out! THIS MAKES SENSE!}

~...What?~

'Do not ask. Maney? You okay?'

She did, in fact, look okay. Her color had returned and her tendrils were alive again.

{INDEEED! I was worried when your BATTLE of MIGHT seemed to be going badly... but I get it now!}

'Good for you... where's...'

{AAHHAHAHAH! POOOOINDEXTER HAS WALKED OFF!}

'...And this doesn't bother you?'

{What? No. He walked off just before the end of the fight, which means he needs to go sit on a rooftop somewhere until you need his help, then he'll come down and help you and every problem you guys had will be solved.}

~...Why a rooftop?~

{Because he's DEEEP!}

~That sounds cliché.~

{...What does that word mean?}

'NEVERMIND! Maney, I'll deal with Poindexter later.'

{AHHHAHAHA!... GOOD!}

~So I can't help but notice this hair is... actually moving.~

'Spits? If you want to work here, you're going to have to put up with a LOT of crazy shit. For instance... Eighteen? Want to drop the disguise?'

Spitfire's ability to catch flies increased a thousand fold as she watched the flame consume the changeling.

~...Huh. That... that whole second chance speech seems... cooler now. Wait, does that mean...~

'By the way? Amazing performance. Hundred out of ten.'

The changeling blushed, as much as one could blush through Chitin, and shrugged.

[Just... you know.]

'Eighteen? Seriously AMAZING.'

{AHAHAHAHAH! I TOOOO THOUGHT IT AMAZING!... It was neat!}

“Yes... quite amazing.”

Cadence emerged from the darkness, so quietly and stealthily that even the changeling had to revere in respect.

“You did good... Eighteen. What I s-... I mean, what I would have done if I was up there. Good job.”

She did not even bother to hide her pride at that.

“W-well! Um... I think we should get Shiny home, he looks... hurt.”

'Just a scratch! We can still keep going!'

“...”

'...Just a flesh wound?'

“...”

'...Who needs a kidney anyway? I have two!'

[He does, he does have two. I think we should-]

“Maney? Take us home.”

[Drat.]

'Oh, fine.'

{AHHHHHAHAHAHHAHA!}

She snatched up the remaining two mares, leaping from the ground and firing up like a rocket before swinging from building to building like some sort of superhero who's name could not be said due to some higher force of evil. Spitfire could only hold on, terrified in her grasp between the oddly silent princess, and the slightly irritated changeling.

~...So is this normal for you?~

'Spitfire?... Welcome to the crazy town.'

~...Uh...~

'Partyland ain't got nothing on us.'

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NC
~~~~~~~~~~
The city was engulfed in utter chaos in the midst of the night, only a token resistance put up by the sleeping populace

One half of the Crystal Empire was being devastated by explosions of fire and the tearing of a bubble-like shield through anything in the path of the body being hurtled by the strikes of an enraged pegasus mare. On the other end, a ravenous beast with a bottomless pit for a stomach was taking the homes and livelihood from the crystal ponies by consuming them. The Guard was struggling to comprehend what was happening, but their Emperor's repeated insistence not to interfere only made matters worse.

In his cushy little two-story home, the bottom floor of which served as the storefront for his wares, the jeweler known as Star Emerald knew true loss and terror. Slowly advancing upon him was an emotionless, dead-eyed creature in the guise of a pony. Each step she took was punctuated by splintering 'CRUNCH' emanating from her jaws. He had seen her devour his works, the products from years of hard labor. And now, she was coming for him. He knew it. The crystal pony dreaded the moment this beast would realize that they, just as their city, were of crystal. And now, his time had come.

Pressing himself as deeply into the corner of his bedroom as he can, he screams in terror as she walks within hoof's reach of him.

“W-WHAT DO YOU WANT, SHE-DEMON?!”

With a look of utter disinterest on the outside, Maud Pie crosses the distance between her hoof and his nose, lightly pressing into it so that he has to cutely scrunch up his pony muzzle. Only a single, deadpan word is on her lips.

>I wish to BUMP you.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

nc
>Applejack
"Celestia"
~~~
>Hey 'Tia, can ah ask y'all a question?

"... You know what? I'm not gonna fight this one. Just shoot."

>Ya ever consider just movin' to that Crystal Empire? Ah mean that robots trashed Canterlot worse, Chitania missed 'em by a mile, they weren't touched by cordyceps, their military an' economy is better, they're more accepting' o' folks like changelin's, an' Shinin' Armor's that damn hybrid o' paragon Shepard, Yu Narukami, wit Steve Rogers thrown in fee good measure.

"Honestly? Everyday. And probably burn Equestria to the ground while I'm at it. You?"

>Not even once, 'Tia.

"And that's why your a princess."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>???
“Rarity”
‘Spike’
[???]
{???}
____

It was usually impossible to break the concentration of the seamstress princess once she really got into a project, so it would forever remain a mystery as to why the magical glow around her sewing needles dulled as attention waned and she glanced behind her.

Oddly enough, there sat a bundle of cleansed animal pelts in wait on the end of her ‘dramatic purposes’ armchair.

“Hm? Now this is rather… odd. I certainly don’t recall making an order for any fur, and Fluttershy would pluck the diamonds right off my cutie mark if- oh myyyy! These are simply gorgeous! So finely sheared and expertly splayed! B-but how- where- and from who?”

Frantically turning over one pelt after another in a rush of excitement and curiosity, Rarity failed to notice the metallic glint of some contraption as it sped past her window.

~~~

Spending time with Twilight was a nice little refresher, a callback to simpler, happier times.

Because he liked happy. He loved happy.

But as he rounded the corner on his way to the kitchen to acquire some snacks for his book-loving sister/mom/BFF, Spike froze as though he’d crashed into a brick wall.

There, hanging from some sort of complicated pulley system, was an azure-colored diamond the size of a small boulder. It sparkled with a great amount of polish and looked resplendent as it slowly revolved in mid-air.

Spike fell to his knees, arms hanging limp, his face dropping with unimaginable awe.

‘Thank… thank you….’

He didn’t know who he was saying thank you to but could feel another presence close-by, watching him, making sure he received this blessing.

And then the presence vanished with the sound of aluminum sheets rubbing together.

~~~

That one spot.

It was that one damnable spot.

A speck of dirt, hardened over the many days, that had the texture of cement and refused to give no matter what solution he spritzed it with, no matter what pad or brillo he scrubbed it with.

Of course, magic would’ve gotten it off relatively quick, but he was forbade, leaving him with little option other than to bring his full armada of cleaning implements into battle.

[So. You wish to dance this dance, eh, dirt? Well, I’ll have you know that I, Blueblood, have an ironclad will. You won’t break me. It is I who shall do the breaking.]

{…You know, maybe having you clean the second, third, and fourth floors was a bit much. The fumes have clearly gone to your head.}

[I’ll ask you to hold you tongue, Haymaker. The dirt is offering up a rebuttal.]

{Yeah, see, when you start arguing with what you should be cleaning, I think it’s time to take a break.}

[Take a break? And show weakness? You must take me for a fool. I won’t give it the satisfaction.]

{Give what the satisfaction? That’s dirt. It’s not alive, it’s not capable of receiving any sort of satisfaction from anything. Because it’s dirt. This is a fact, Bluey.}

[You say this because you are clearly working for the dirt, aren’t you?]

{What’re you even talking ab-… yes. Yes, I am. How did you ever guess?}

[Because the Haymaker who’s on my side would not be wearing a potato on his head, an obvious sign of your betrayal!]

{What? A potato on my what?}

Slowly, the guard reached up and pulled down a slightly warm spud.

In silence, both he and Blueblood stared at it. Past the confusion, they focused on the two words crookedly etched into the skin:

Behind you.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as the promoted guard and castle keeper turned in unison, their gazes falling on the single other soul occupying the hall.

She stood there on just her hindlegs, with the steadying help of her 3DMG, as her arms were laden with two rather large, heart-shaped potatoes.

The awkward grin she sported was lost on Blueblood as he climbed to his hooves, furiously blinking. He took a step forward, and when she didn’t disperse as an indication toward his fading sanity, he took another. And another. Until he was approaching her at a brisk pace, Haymaker just in his shadow.

>S-so, uh… yeah. Mad, right? Yeah, you’re probably mad, really pissed actually. At me, b-because I took so long to get back….

At their quick, undaunted approach, she hunched up her shoulders, squeezing her heart potatoes.

>I…I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Wh-what I did was stupid, I should’ve came back sooner, I shouldn’t have left, but I fucked up! I fucked up and a lot of bad things happened because of me and my… my… I’m sorry! I don’t know how to do much but fly around and run! I can’t- it’s how I was taught, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to stay gone so long, I just… just couldn’t face anyone after what I did… what I did to you guys… but that’s no excuse….

The gap was closing ever quickly, the two stallions bearing down on her like reapers come for her soul.

Her hooves shot out, extending the carefully carved spuds.

>H-here! I made these! I don’t have any money b-but I made these! They were kept between my thighs so they should be warm but I kinda messed up the shape because carving isn’t really my strong suit and oh hivemind I should’ve gotten something better instead of these stupid potatoes and I know the gifts I got for the others don’t make up for-

She yelped when Haymaker backhoofed the potatoes from her grip, sending them thudding over the mopped floor.

Each echoing bounce saw her heart sink further and further, but she was given no time to respond when she was suddenly snatched into an embrace far warmer than any potato plucked from her thighs.

Two forelegs wound their way around her neck, holding her close, and she felt a cheek on either side of her own.

[You’re back… you’re actually back.]

{Do you have any idea… do you have even the slightest clue how fucking worried we were?}

>I’m sorry! I’m so so so sor-

[Shut up.]

He nearly growled it out and she flinched.

>Meep….

[Just be quiet and stand there.]

{Maybe we should sit down instead. This is going to be a long ass hug.}

>R-really…?

[Would you prefer a hug, or a cracked neck? I’m feeling very amicable right now so I’ll grant you the choice.]

>…So on the floor? Right here? Okay, yeah, let’s do that, let’s sit.

And so the trio did, slowly sinking down into a comfortable position with neither Blueblood or Haymaker relinquishing their grip over the survivalist changeling.

As feelings of rage and hurt began to dissipate the longer they remained in contact, they probably wouldn’t be releasing her for some time.

And that was fine with her.

Totally fine.

She wouldn’t have it any other way.

Because Potatojack had come home.

…



>Whatever gets me closer to making up for lost time, Bluey….

[…]

{Eh, can we not make this awkward while I’m here, too? Thanks, ‘preciate it.}

[Your inane ramblings aside, that does remind me… what did you originally come to me for, Haymaker?]

{I wasn’t coming to see you specifically, I was-}

>GRK! Too tight, t-too tight…

{Whoops, pardon. Part of me still wants to choke you comatose.}

>Mnngh… I can t-tell.

{Anyway, I was on my way to have a meeting with the other guards.}

A spatter of interest gleamed in Bluebloods eye, and he glanced around the back of PJ’s head.

[Oh. Finally coming around to electing a Guard Captain?]

{Something of the sort.}

[…Pommel?]

{Something of the sort.}

[Ah. Well, good for the fellow then, should he be nominated.]

{Yuuup.}

[…Is she gargling or is that just my ears?]

{Just your ears, Bluey. Keep hugging.}

>…grrrgle…

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >AJ
"Twi"
'Pinkie'
[Dash]
{FS}
(Rarity)
^Spike^
~Pony~
~~~

>NEXT!

~Hey, why do some of us have two names, but others don't?~

>What'cha mean?

~Well, your name is Apple jack-~

>Applejack is one word.

~....Her name is Flutter Shy-~

{Um... also one word.}

~... So is her name RainbowDash?~

[Two words.]

'I'm also two words! One word just couldn't handle me!'

"I'm two words too."

(I'm just one.)

^Technically I'm three? I think my birth certificate literally says 'the dragon' on it.^

"You have a birth certificate?"

^...S-s... shouldn't you know that?^

"Er..."

>What's yer' point?

~Uh... is this a last name thing?~

'Last... name?'

[Why the heck would we need a last name?]

(Oh, but wouldn't it be romantic if two ponies shared one name when they got married?)

>...Nah, that sounds silly.

"Totally unreasonable."

[How would you even get to pick which one?]

{Not to mention the children. Won't someone think of the children?}

(...Well I thought it was neat.)

>That it?

~....Uh, sure-~

>NEXT

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Sunset Shimmer
~~~~~~~~~~

The train comes to a screeching halt in Canterlot proper a good while after the Celestia's sun had risen over the horizon. Throughout the smoke puffing out of the sides of the engine are stallions and mares gathering up their luggage, laughing, embracing their loved ones or making their way into the city. Amidst them was Sunset Shimmer, a self-assured smile on her lips, gaze fixated on the faraway castle. Her final destination.

>Mmmmh, feels good to stretch the legs after that ride. Now, let's see how things are holding up in good, old Cant... ter...

A single glance across the skyline of her old homestead was all she needed.

>...lot...? What the hell?!

Moving ahead of the startled travelers who had jumped then mumbled in annoyance at her sudden outburst, Celestia's ex-student tried to wrap her head around what she is seeing. Frantically whipping her head left and right she trots over the cobblestone street, taking in the sight of the re-modeled city. The colors of the buildings was clearer, brighter, as if they had been polished. White reflected the sunlight, gold shone in-between. Buildings Sunset remembered being quaint, nestled between taller spires were now looking more grand. New buildings here and there, streets she distinctively remembered were completely gone or had expanded significantly. It was as if the entire layout of the grand city had been shuffled around.

Passing by the robotic mare whose polished chrome limbs shone in the sunlight, she tried to reason how the city could have changed that much in just the sixty moons between her leaving Equestria and re-emerging again. The papers had highlighted some of the more recent news, but it had been mostly vague mentions of past events due to the time passed and the likely assumption the readers would be well-informed about what had transpired.

Wait, maybe there had been an unaccounted time dilation between the two worlds! That would explain the complete alienation Sunset felt at the moment. Frantically tearing open the saddlebags with clasps depicting her cutiemark, her eyes dart across the dates on the newspapers she had scrounged up on the ride here. The relief she felt flooding through her limbs upon seeing that she wasn't in a distant future makes her visibly sag right where she stood.

>Well. Good news, I am not lost in time. Bad news, this place has gone full crazy in my absence. Great! Crazy is better than stagnation. I can handle crazy.

She stands still for a moment, facing the ground, her relieved expression slowly fading to one of confusion, then trepidation. Rewinding the last few minutes since her arrival in the city, she stumbles upon a particular mental image. The sight of a metallic mare with glowing eyes and not a single visible bolt on the outside, mane and tail shining in an unusual neon color.

>Oooh, no. No. No, you didn't. You did not.

It is with great effort that she dares turn her head and gaze back across the street in the direction of the train station. And there it was. A being made entirely from metal, walking with a surprisingly fluid grace as it accompanies what she could only assume was its owner. Equestria has advanced from magical feudal monarchy into the post-modern technological age in just a couple of years.

Because she was pretty damn sure that thing was a fully functional android made to resemble a pony. The implication of something like that being publicly accessible as something she could only assume was the by-product of the 'Robot Invasion' was frightening, to say the least.

She didn't even have time to digest this revelation when an earth pony stallion, at the outdoors restaurant just a couple of steps away from her, points a hoof at a vegetable spit on a table for several guests and shoots a lance of flame across it and roasting it all in the matter of seconds under the excited hoof stamping of the guests.

Sunset Shimmer started to feel light-headed.

~~~~~~~~~~
>Loosen, sprinkle, don't forget the filter, fold, roll.

Keeping herself hidden in the shade of nearby building, Sunset neatly folds and rolls the little piece of paper, bunching up the loose curls of tobacco within right next to a filter on one end, using only her magic. She didn't find the precision of her telekinesis lacking,but something about doing it by 'hand' had been a far more satisfying task to concentrate on. And she badly needed to focus on something right now.

>Look at me shaking. Portal magic messing with me, I bet. Whoever calibrated that thing was a hack.

She was deluding herself, of course. Magic was to her as second nature as breathing was. No, what made the neatly self-made cigarette wobble unsteadily in the air was her being very nervous. But could anyone blame her? Everything was completely different from what she remembered. This was supposed to be her old home, but the changes it had undergone were significant enough to make her uncomfortable.

The cigarette is brought to her lips and with a flash of summoned fire she lights it and takes her first, needy drag all the way to her lungs. Ponies generally disliked smoking, or so was her impression. With a heightened sense of smell making the smoke rising up from it highly unpleasant to the nose and her taste buds having a completely different impression of what it tasted like to inhale the fumes, Sunset had to admit she could see why. Granted, it was a habit she wasn't about to kick as easily. She would have to get in touch with a buffalo trader to replenish her stock.

And out the smoke goes, through the corner of her mouth. It was cathartic. The mild shaking was fading way, whether due to the nicotine or her falling into an old, trusted pattern she didn't know for sure.

>I bet Twilight's to blame for this. You give a mare five minutes access to the Internet, and she gives her home country the industrial revolution. Last time I checked, those Appleloosa dorks were still making stallions pull their steam engine train. The princess always said that her little ponies weren't the brightest bunch.

Standing there, leaning sideways against the wall, left side of her four legs crossed across the right ones, still wearing her leather jacket and taking long drags from the cigarette before blowing the smoke out through the corner of her mouth made her look like a youthful delinquent. But it was an image she gladly fostered. Didn't help her confusion with her home world, though.

>Haaaah. Yeah, no. This isn't working.

It was clear that with the amount of changes Equestria had undergone, she was like a temporal fish out of water, making it only a matter of time before she started freaking out or made a mistake that would put unnecessary attention on her. She'd love to study and learn all about the technology behind these revolutionary inventions, but the best place to do that would be at the forge, the place where all this had been crafted and created. And she knew there could only be one place this description fit to.

Canterlot Castle.

She emerged from the alley into the crowd on the streets, leaving a trail of cigarette smoke in her wake that caused the Canties she passed to scrunch up their noses, cough and sneeze. She tries to take the shortest route towards Canterlot Castle, but she had no doubt that her ban was still in place. Lacking the patience for the high and mighty princesses to notice her by way of letters didn't leave her much of a choice but to infiltrate the place through paths she had taken as a filly.

Celestia never read her correspondence anyways and the Guard had only become worse in her absence. It shouldn't cause too much of an issue, or so she told herself.

>Mrmblgrmbl rassafrassa if I find out Twilight grrfthjmhrmbl things ponykind was not meant to know grumblemumble...


_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Snake Eyes/High Roller
"Screwloose"
'12'

'So can you explain to me where we're going yet?'

>Classified.

"He says after we clearly board a train bound for Mustangia."

The trio of corporate spy, unhinged scientist, and unlucky bug sat together in the dining car of said train. The first rolled his eyes at the second's comment.

>Mustangia is nice this time of year, perhaps I'm interested in giving you two a vacation before the humdrum life of a scientist on retainer begins to set in.

"I'm doubting anything about what your employers have in store is humdrum."

'I was more asking the specifics, like...are you working for Fawntaine?'

>That seems like the obvious suspect, doesn't it?

'Well I mean I don't know all that much about Mustangia, but I know they're a pretty small country and I don't think they're rich enough to afford...you.'

"Plus they're far more interested in independence than progress."

>Perhaps I'm going to hand you over to Stalliongrad.

'...no...no because Stalliongrad can't keep any one group in power for long, I've read that one guy's articles in the Gazette enought o know that. You're too...stable to take a job for them.'

"You're throwing him softballs, Snake Eyes."

>Well it's better than me just saying classified and that I'd have to kill him if he kept asking. I would, by the way.

'Again, easier said than done.'

>Either way, you'll know when you...ngh...get there...

'Having trouble there?'

The pegasus had reached into his saddlebag and was laboriously attempting to pull the cork off of a small bottle.

"And what is that supposed to be?"

>Solar Reserve, managed to steal some from Canterlot before I snuck out.

"You lush."

>I have my vices. Hey, pal, you got fangs, mind giving me a little extra leverage here?

'...if I do, will you tell what is going on?'

The agent grinned and shrugged.

>Uncork this bottle and all will be made clear.

12 rolled his eyes.

'Give it here.'

12 dug his fangs into the cork of the bottle, and with a POP, the bottle was opened.

>Take a smell of that, pal, not every day you can catch of a whiff of the Princess' favorite vintage.

With a shrug, 12 acquiesced...

And then his face hit the table with a thud. A few of the other patrons of the car looked over, blinking. High Roller gave them an amiable smile.

>Changelings, can't handle their liquor even BEFORE it gets in them. Don't worry, I'll get him back to his seat.

There were a few polite laughs as the stallion helpful walked over to the other side of the table and was able to hoist the changeling onto his back.

>Ms., if you'ld be so kind as to get that bottle?

"Oh sure..."

Screwloose had a very demure smile plastered on her face as she did so, leaning in close to the disguised guard.

"And if anything happens to my pervert, you will pay dearly."

>Oh don't worry, I just need to make sure he can't track our movements before we get to where we're going.

"You better be carrying him."

>The whole way, now remind me we need to take the train to Las Pegasus next, there should be a carriage waiting for us there...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Canon-debatable
>Celestia
"Spike"
~~~
"Hey, Celestia... I have a question."

>I knew it would come to this some day... The day you turned against me. Well old age and treachery defeat youth and enthusiasm ANY DAY! Behold! I have Charity and am not afraid to destroy her!

Spike shrugs

"In the end, she's just a gun. Can always get another."

Celestia smiles and hands the gun back.

>That's actually good to hear from you.

"Thanks, well, anyway... Do I have a birth certificate? Or an actual second name, or is it 'The Dragon'?"

Celestia just smiles and gestures Spike to follow

Its a long trek in silence, but the path seems so familiar

At last, they come on a room right next to Celestia's bedroom

When she opens it, she reveals another door connected directly to her room, an old crib, a changing station, and walls covered from floor to ceiling with mementos of Spike's life, even into the present

"... This... This clay horse-"

>Was your very first art project, you said it was me.

"And this is-"

>Your very first math test, which, by the way, was also your first A.

Spike hugs Celestia's leg and she hugs him with her wings

>Well, it's hard to doubt I love you, Spike, but... here's where it gets a bit silly on my part.

"What do you mean?"

Celestia's expression flattens while her cheeks turn red and gestures to a long scroll

That's apparently's Spike's birth certificate reading the name off as;

Spike Dracula Francis Lucius Arthur Agamemnon Ddraig Goch Zmeu Fafnir Vritra Bēvar-Asp Nachash Bare'ach Odahviing Goyle Seiryu Kim Xuanzang Fucanglong Imugi Mizuchi-

"How long does this thing go on?!"

>Another four feet. ... I'm sorry... I got excited. And panicked a bit.

...-George Sahloknir Sparkle Celestia

"..."

>Hah, now you know why I don't use your full name much. First time I tried to call you by it, I forgot what I was angry about-

Spike hugs her again

"Thank you."

She hugs him

>Anytime.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"Caramel Sandiego"
~~~~
Spike climbs out of the steel door spitting out the metal. He stands himself up.
>Okay, time to give up those cakes.
A number of spotlights beam down a blinding light on him

"Congratulations dog of the royals. You certainly got here faster once you realized you didn't need to swallow metal. As your prize, I leave you a cake."
Despite the light, he looks around him and notices the chamber is bigger than he thought.

>What the heck? The pyramid is almost completely hollow except the tunnel entrance!

"Yeah, it would have been faster if you'd went through the walls instead of the doors. My henchmen did say he wouldn't even mention the walls. The concrete was only a foot thick. Anyway..."
The top of the pyramid opens up and he can hear the sound of a helicopter taking off.
"Thanks for the entertainment! We'll be keeping the rest of the cakes."

>Hey, stop!
Pulls out Charity and blindly fires a few shots into the air before choosing to take out the spotlights instead, but then there was nothing but air when he got a clear view.
>...great.

~optional add on ending~
Spike blasts through the wall and walks outside with the cake. He paused when he noticed something.
>...she stole my hover bike.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Canon Debatable
>TV ad
~~~
FAWNTINE FUTURISTICS PRESENTS!

>In today's fast moving world, things are more hectic than ever and there's still so much to do!

>The solution: Buy a Fawntine Futuristic Clockwork Domestic model! It can cook, clean, do laundry, and help with the kids' homework!

>And gentlecolts, it can do some heavy lifting too for those home projects!

>Don't delay, take home a Clockwork today! Now available at all major department stores!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________