I don't know how to tell you this.. really.. I mean it's not like it is something I talk about a lot but I’ll give it a go if it helps. The first time was when I was 17.. (mock anger) hey don’t smile like that, surely that’s not professional..So it was summer ‘08 i guess i was 17, i went to this party, not a very good one and there was this guy, no one seemed to know him, he claimed he was a cousin of someone or something like that.. (off track) I actually found out later he met one of the guys there on some internet thing, was sorta gate crashing , sounds kinda creepy really...anyway he was awkward and funny and just a little off hand which i liked, i got alot of attention back then ..(aside) stop smirking.... and it got to me that he was so brash, I decided I just had to make him want me.. that says alot about me doesn’t it, god i sound awful, its just I couldn’t handle the fact that this guy i didn’t know and probably wouldn’t have looked twice at seemed so uninterested, I just NEEDED him to need me. I remember first thing i did, and i cringe at it to this day, was to sit on his lap, just parked myself right on his crotch, this guy had control I will give him that, I had a tiny little skirt on and was squirming about on his lap and he just ignored me and carried on his conversation, I knew I was getting to him though cos.. well there was a physical reaction y’know, he couldn’t hide that, i remember thinking I had him right then and i knew tonight i was ready to do it. I wanted to tell him, just say it right there but i couldn’t, i could still feel this bulge against my arse, my skirt had ridden up so it was pretty much bare cheek on his jeans, i could feel the heat from him and was sure he must have felt it from me, i could feel that warm tingle you get, well you wouldn’t know i suppose but it felt good. He must have known, he must have felt it, next thing i know he whispers in my ear. You know what he said, I could believe it, “i know what you want but why should i give it to you” thats it, i mean i was speechless, the cheek of it, he was just staring at me, waiting for me to tell him, with his eyes boring into me, a mix of judgment and lust, i think it was like a few seconds but it felt like forever, i managed to say.. to finally find some words and told him “What makes you think I want you.” I wanted the control and to be cool about it but he just snorted, a harsh little laugh, and slipped his hand, that was on my thigh, up under my skirt and left it gently cupping the hot and damp mound in my thong, god that first touch felt amazing, and the confidence to do that, i had never met a guy like that before, He looked at me, gave me a little squeeze and told me “wrong Answer”.