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/mlp/ First Impressions *COMPLETED

NeighborVadim Oct 7th, 2014 (edited) 1,275 Never
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  1. >The first couple of times Equestria had ever come across humans, let's just say that they weren't presented with the best examples of the species.
  2. >A couple of years ago, a group of about thirty had appeared and entered Ponyville, seems like they came out of nowhere.
  3. >"So how did you all end up here anyways?"
  4. >The little purple Alicorn asked curiously at the biggest of the group, presuming him to be some sort of alpha male.
  5. >"We do not really know, one minute we snort what look like white powders for make happy, next thing we are all here".
  6. >"Not Nicholai, he say it was not of cocaine".
  7. >"Nicholai was just being leetle bitch".
  8. >They argued among themselves for a brief moment, until Twilight finally broke their petty quarrel.
  9. >"So, where are you all from?"
  10. >"Роccия"
  11. >"Україна"
  12. >"Беларуcь"
  13. >"Србија"
  14. >"Polska"
  15. >And so on...
  16. >Pretty much all from East Europe.
  17. >"Those are all... different countries?"
  18. >"Да, world is call Earth".
  19. >Fascinating creatures these were, or so she thought at the time.
  20.  
  21. >About two months later, it seemed that they have made minimal progress integrating into Equestrian society.
  22. >For a time, they were just a bunch of delinquents, mostly just squatting about and loitering.
  23. >Most of them sought out work to try to make a living for their selves, but despite this they were still a nuisance.
  24. >They started getting progressively worse and worse however.
  25. >Drinking excessively in public until they passed out in the streets, damaging property, fighting in the streets, this was the least of their shenanigans.
  26. >Oh the stupid and outright savage shit they did.
  27.  
  28.  
  29. >There just seemed to be no end to their antics and mischief.
  30. >Here are just a few examples...
  31.  
  32. >One day, just outside of the Sugarcube Corner, a few guys were gathered outside the front with a trashcan, and a very long torch.
  33. >Seems like they used a little of whatever brains they had to try to outdo Pinkie Pie's party cannon and wanted to show her.
  34. >The one who came up with the idea had the hots for Pinkie Pie and really wanted to impress her.
  35. >"You see Radoslav, when take garbage can and fill with gunpowder and confetti particle, you make bigger, better party cannon".
  36. >"Pink horse will be of demanding secksings with you when she see you can make partyings like her!"
  37. >"We need to get attention of Pinkie".
  38. >The Slav goes over to the window to try to open it, but instead manages to break it off the sill.
  39. >"Oh Pinkie, I have surprisings for you at door!"
  40. >Pinkie Pie, in her usual happy-go-lucky way, trots over to the door.
  41. >"Oh silly, you didn't have to break the window to..."
  42. >Just as she opens the door, she doesn't have time to finish her sentence before getting blasted with a load of garbage from this Tsar cannon they devised.
  43. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDtlvByfoz4
  44. >"This is not confetti papers, I SAID TO GET PARTY GUN I MAKE, NOT GARBAGE GUN!"
  45. >"We not know difference! Is not have markings!"
  46. >"I give you markings!"
  47. >The Russian grabbed the torch used to detonate the gunpowder and chased the others with it, making jabs at their asses with the hot end.
  48. >"Now Pinkie never give pussy now!"
  49. >"AHHH, ass is burnings!"
  50. >Why they thought this was a good idea to begin with, who knows, they probably didn't have enough blood in their vodka streams to power their brains.
  51. >Amongst the anger and fear, they seemed to have forgotten that they left Pinkie unconscious.
  52. >You would have to be really drunk to forget about the person/pony you want to fuck.
  53. >Twilight found her a few minutes later and rushed her to the hospital.
  54. >Needless to say, Pinkie Pie wouldn't have a favorable opinion of these people.
  55. >And she certainly wasn't the first pony they would hurt.
  56.  
  57. >Meanwhile, over at Sweet Apple Acres, one Pollack was hard at work in the orchards.
  58. >For now, he was doing good work, having worked on several apple orchards back in Poland (and the Poles know how to grow a damn good apple).
  59. >Unfortunately his degenerate friends would come along from time to time to either steal things, vandalize the property, or just be disruptive.
  60. >One day in particular sent Applejack a little over the edge.
  61. >"Hey, Filip, what happened to all our potatoes?"
  62. >"I tell bydlo friends that potato not for them, but then tellings me they use to make wódka, so then I say 'kurwa, why not sayings before!', so then I let them take potato".
  63. >"Dammit, that was our personal crop, get them back!"
  64. >Barking can be heard off in the distance.
  65. >"I guess Winona found 'em, let's go get 'em, Filip".
  66. >Running deep into the orchard, they encounter a couple of Poles with a brewing station.
  67. >"Hey, you, get off my land!"
  68. >"Kurwa, is not of your clay, is now land of Appoland!"
  69. >She's tolerated their shit before, but today she wanted none of it.
  70. >"Make not worry, Applehorse, I get them out of here".
  71. >"Well... alright, you've been doing good work for the past couple 'a weeks, I trust ya."
  72. >Applejack leaves him to deal with the problem, he starts conversing with them in Polish.
  73. >She leaves for town with Big Macintosh to sell their produce.
  74. >They come back an hour later, no sign of their Polish worker anywhere.
  75. >"Granny, have you seen Filip?
  76. >"Only one's been around here was Applebloom".
  77. >He should've gone right back to work after dealing with his idiot friends.
  78. >Applejack and Big Mac go over to where they were last found...
  79.  
  80. >What they found was their worker buried up to his neck in the ground and a nasty bump on his head.
  81. >They also found an empty unlabeled bottle right next to him.
  82. >Poor guy smelled of cheap vodka and piss.
  83. >His two friends were up in the tree, having their selves a drink.
  84. >"What did you do to Filip!?!?"
  85. >"He was of needing break, so we give to him".
  86. >"You beat him up, he's your friend!"
  87. >"It was necessary miss Apple, how else he get to sleep and restings?"
  88. >They laughed at the whole ordeal, and clanked bottles together.
  89. >"You get the hell off my land now!"
  90. >"Pierdol się!"
  91. >They then proceeded to throw their empty bottles and apples at her and Big Mac.
  92. >That was all they could stand, and they couldn't stand no more.
  93. >"Mac, you ready to kick some tail end?"
  94. >"EYYYUP!"
  95. >Running up to the base of the tree, they went to different sides of it and started bucking it.
  96. >"What is happenings?"
  97. >Applejack and Big Mac kept at it until the two drunken Poles fell out.
  98. >"KURWA!"
  99. >As they fell out they hit the ground face first.
  100. >Upon getting their bearings, they looked up, only to see the pissed off faces of Applejack and Big Macintosh.
  101. >"Shit".
  102. >No fight they had ever gotten into could compare to the ass kicking they received from the Apple siblings.
  103. >Running towards the fence, they were covered all over in hoof prints.
  104. >They would definitely not be screwing around there again.
  105.  
  106. >Around that same time, a few Russian and Belorussian gopniks were gathered under Rainbow Dash's house.
  107. >They were throwing bottles, rocks, whatever they could find to try to get her attention.
  108. >"Rainbow horse, make comings down, you can't be asleep with all noise!"
  109. >"This will be wakings shot!"
  110. >He either had a really good arm, or was that desperate for the equine pussy.
  111. >He took a half-full bottle of the moonshine he made, making a loud crashing sound thorough one of the windows.
  112. >"Hey fuckheads, you won't find me there!"
  113. >Looks like she just got home after a day of weather adjustment, it was unfortunate she had to run into these guys first.
  114. >"Vladimir wants to sayings something to you".
  115. >Rainbow Dash lets out a sigh.
  116. >"What is it?"
  117. >"Do you like sexual intercourses?"
  118. >He seemed to remember his training in courting a lady.
  119. >"Ugh..."
  120. >Rolling her eyes, she doesn't even bother giving him a response.
  121. >"Is not of worrying Vladimir, look at rainbow horse hair, she has the gay!"
  122. >"Even homosex would call her faget".
  123. >"If puttings penis into faget dyke flying horse then you catch the gay!"
  124. >They were all having their selves a good laugh making fun of Rainbow Dash.
  125. >Though she didn't want to let this scum to get to her, they still managed to hurt her ego.
  126. >As if she hadn't heard all the lesbian jokes.
  127. >Looking for something to throw back at them, she came across the smashed window in her house, and the bottle the Slavshit threw.
  128. >She was absolutely horrified to see where it landed.
  129. >Right on her collection of Daring Do books.
  130. >Now she was seeing all shades of red, so many that she could hear the Soviet National Anthem.
  131. >Either that, or the fuckers below broke out into song.
  132.  
  133. >All her books, drenched in bootleg vodka.
  134. >She then let our a loud angry scream that could probably be heard for miles.
  135. >Someone was going to get hurt really bad.
  136. >Grabbing the bottle, she flew back outside looking down at the bydlos.
  137. >"XaXaXaXaXa!"
  138. >"Looks like we make gay horse angry!"
  139. >"What she do about it, giving slaps on face?"
  140. >Wanting to make the best shot possible, she flew up higher so she could get some momentum.
  141. >When she figured she had enough distance, she flew forward, aimed for the biggest ones head (since she figured he was the strongest and threw the bottle that ruined her books).
  142. >Mid-flight, she threw the bottle at him with the force of an artillery shell.
  143. >It strikes him dead on his forehead and shatters, the striking force making him fall flat on his ass.
  144. >"AYE, CYKA!"
  145. >His buddies gather around him and help him back up.
  146. >"He's still alive, how!?!?!"
  147. >"Is not over Rainbow bitch!"
  148. >"We need to get comrade more alcohol, he in many pain".
  149. >They all fucked off to the brew house they built on the outskirts of Ponyville.
  150. >"Pfft, stoopid asses".
  151. >She would be spending the rest of her afternoon drying out the pages to her books.
  152.  
  153. >Speaking of the brew house, that one building caused a lot of problems.
  154.  
  155.  
  156. >The little brewery they built was guarded by a creepy old Serb, who did nothing but sit there and play the accordion all day, all while making this stoic yet fear inducing face.
  157. >You just know that this is a guy that has seen some shit.
  158. >The bydlos that had come back from harassing Rainbow Dash were in need of their 'pain killers'.
  159. >"Novislav, please lettings us in, Vladimir is of hurt!"
  160. >He nods, and lets them in.
  161. >As their patient is getting his fill of hard liquor, they notice that their supplies are running low.
  162. >"Drink will of run out soon, we need to make more".
  163. >"We have all potato and other thing needed for brewing, we work on it now".
  164. >It was a fairly big building, and it had six chimneys.
  165. >Now that they're brewing a new batch of moonshine and other drinks, they were all fired up at full capacity.
  166. >Ever since that was built, the air quality in the town seemed to have suffered.
  167. >The steam and smoke itself was enough to give one an intoxicated feeling, disorient you, and possibly even knock you out cold.
  168. >As they were doing this, Derpy was flying back into town so she could get back to work.
  169. >She flew through the smoke cloud that was over the building.
  170. >Really bad idea.
  171. >The smoke was so strong in scent, so disorienting, that it straitened out her eyes.
  172. >She began losing consciousness and losing strength to fly.
  173. >She managed to make a safe and soft landing, thankfully, and soon fainted.
  174. >Shortly after, a lonely and horny Slav comes along on his way to the brew house.
  175. >Seeing this unconscious, pretty little mare, he remembered a little tip a friend of his told him some time ago.
  176. >'Remember, passed out chick never sayings no for secks, so does not count as >Rape".
  177. >"Boromir, you are of genius!"
  178.  
  179.  
  180. >The horny Slav began reconsidering his idea when he noticed that the Serbian had stopped playing and shot him a rather unsettling stare.
  181. >He was locked into his sight, staring into his soul for a good two minutes before he could come up with something to say.
  182. >"Of not worryings, I am only making liberation of defenseless pone, I take home now!"
  183. >Implying liberation.
  184. >He picked Derpy off of the ground and put her on his shoulder and ran back towards Ponyville.
  185. >He had no plans of going directly there, though, he was just putting on a little show for the stoic Serb.
  186. >Novislav, however, did not buy it, he could smell the >Rape in the air all the way from where he was sitting.
  187. >A few minutes later, the 'liberator' found a nice secluded patch of the Everfree forest where he could go complete his mission.
  188. >Setting her down, he ran his fingers through her mane.
  189. >"Pretty blonde hair you are havings".
  190. >It was at that moment that she began to regain consciousness.
  191. >Upon seeing her soon to be rapist above her, she started to scream but was soon silenced by his dirty hand grabbing her muzzle.
  192. >"SSSSHHHH, do no worryings, will be of feeling good!"
  193. >However, before he could unzip his dick, he was pulled off of his victim.
  194. >Derpy's saviour from getting violated was none other than Novislav of Serbia.
  195. >He sent the would-be rapist rolling into an open field, where he would follow him and beat the living hell out of him.
  196. >"Please, comrade, I was not of hurtings..."
  197. >He started with a kick in the dick, then proceeded to give him a charlie horse and threw several punches into his face, beating him to a bloody pulp.
  198. >When he was done with that scumbag, he spit in his face, then went over to where Derpy was hiding, still scared from this predicament.
  199. >She was curled up into a ball, thinking that this man might want to hurt her too.
  200. >However, he just stared into her eyes for a moment, nodded, and walked off.
  201. >This man was beyond strange, even considering everyone he arrived with.
  202.  
  203. >Disrupting Applejack's business, sending Pinkie Pie to the hospital, damaging Rainbow Dash's property (and hurting her ego), and several rapings.
  204. >Twilight didn't think it could get any worse.
  205. >The next batch of humans that arrived made the situation an absolute nightmare.
  206. >These ones... seemed to posses a little more melanin.
  207. >But, it felt like it was just a little bit more than just a mere palette swap.
  208. >Maybe, just a little.
  209.  
  210.  
  211. >"Uh, Twilight, I think you need to see this..."
  212. >Spike went to alert Twilight of the new batch of humans that have arrived.
  213. >Now this just happened barely three months after the first batch arrived.
  214. >Looking out her window, she goes to see what other foreign creatures have arrived in their world.
  215. >Take note, it's late in the evening.
  216. >First thing she sees is a pair of eyes.
  217. >"Bouga".
  218. >Twi lets out a little scream and jumps back.
  219. >"Spike, what are these things!"
  220. >"Apparently they're humans."
  221. >Apparently
  222. >Huehuehuehue
  223. >"Well, they can't be any worse than the last group, let's go greet them."
  224. >Top kek Twi, top kek.
  225. >Opening the door, all these dark figures are now focused onto her.
  226. >"Umm, hello!..."
  227. >"Ayy mane, where is we?"
  228. >"You're in Equestria, and the town you're in is Ponyville, which I would like to cordially welcome you to!"
  229. >"Sheeeeit niggs".
  230. >"Where are you all from?"
  231. >"Nigga we from the hood!"
  232. >"The... hood?"
  233. >"Me 'n mah crew from Ferguson".
  234. >"In America."
  235. >"Tell 'em nigga".
  236. >"Okay... and can you remember how you got here?"
  237. >"We's jus in the streets protestin' and usin' our free speech, yo, den them police come and start usin' them gats to put us niggas down!"
  238. >"Theys playa hatas!"
  239. >Killed by law enforcement, what did they do to deserve that?
  240. >Don't worry Twi, you'll see soon.
  241. >"Dat nigga over there not from Ferguson doe, he from North Africa!"
  242. >"Da muthaland!"
  243. >"Nigga come over here to help us fight fo' our right".
  244. >"Praise it mane!"
  245. >"Some bitch call Isis tell him to come over and help."
  246. >"She must be a fine bitch."
  247. >"Yea boi!"
  248.  
  249. >Meanwhile, on the other side of town, our East European friends are preparing their selves a little mobile rave, since they scrounged up some of the money they earned they bought some stereo equipment from Vinyl Scratch.
  250. >"Of great hardbass beats Vadim has make!"
  251. >"Are we ready for partyings!"
  252. >"Ура!"
  253. >Soon they were on their merry way.
  254. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0y1BY7UcaI
  255. >They were currently unaware of the new competition that arrived in town.
  256.  
  257.  
  258.  
  259. >They made their selves a little a conga line and paraded around town, blasting their music and disturbing the peace.
  260. >A route was planned out for their shenanigans.
  261. >First place they would go to would be Sugarcube Corner, then over to the Carousel Boutique, then they would make their way over to Twilight's library and harass her to finish.
  262. >Arriving at the candy shop, it looked like it was getting ready to close for the night.
  263. >"Wait, don't close, we are of having sweet teeth!"
  264. >Mr. and Mrs. Cake, and Pinkie Pie looked towards the approaching Slav train with horror.
  265. >"Oh no, not them again".
  266. >Pinkie Pie ran into the kitchen to hide.
  267. >Barging in, they almost took the door off its hinges.
  268. >One of them plops a bag of bits onto the counter, probably a whole weeks salary for one of them.
  269. >"What can this buy?"
  270. >"Anything, just take anything and go!"
  271. >"Ебать да!"
  272. >They took anything they could see on the shelves and went on their way.
  273. >Pinkie Pie, always becoming timid around them, peeked out her head from the kitchen.
  274. >"Are they gone?"
  275.  
  276. >At the Carousel Boutique, Rarity was in the middle of closing up shop.
  277. >As she worked, she hummed a little tune, but that soon stopped as soon as she heard the approaching boom box.
  278. >Her ear perked up as it picked up the sound.
  279. >Turning to the door, all she could do was look on helplessly.
  280. >"Pleasegoawaypleasegoawaypleasegoaway..."
  281. >They bashed the door in in the same manner they did at the candy shop.
  282. >Rarity screamed as they did so.
  283. >"GET OUT, GET OUT ALL OF YOU, WE'RE CLOSED!"
  284. >"But party is only of started!"
  285. >One of the big old brutes grabbed her and forcefully invited her into the party.
  286. >And they probably robbed her in the middle of all the chaos.
  287. >"Unhand me you ruffian!"
  288. >They continued to carry her off into the night.
  289.  
  290.  
  291. >Along their route, they managed to run into Fluttershy.
  292. >Rarity called out to her.
  293. >"Fluttershy, help me, do something!"
  294. >"I'll save you, Rarity... I hope".
  295. >Hovering over the crowd, she tries to fish out Rarity, but to no avail.
  296. >Instead, they end up grabbing her instead.
  297. >Embarrassed, she turns her head over to Rarity, who is already getting nauseous from the bumpy ride.
  298. >"Sorry..."
  299. >At this point they look like a bunch of bronies carrying a couple of giant plush toys at a convention.
  300.  
  301. >Still in the middle of greeting them, Twilight comes up to the man that they pointed out was 'da nigga dat come from da mothaland'.
  302. >There was something very unsettling about him, he hadn't said a word since he got here, and looked like he projected emotion just as well as the Serb did.
  303. >He was carrying a book with him, this she had to see.
  304. >"What is that book you are carrying?"
  305. >"It is the most holy book in world..."
  306. >Just how the Serb described his book just a few weeks back (and one of the few times he ever spoke).
  307. >She found it was a lengthy, but interesting read, but she certainly wasn't going to convert over it.
  308. >The Serb didn't mind that, and Twilight always loved to get new reading material.
  309. >"Do you mind if I borrow this?"
  310. >"I would be honored if you did".
  311. >You know, it's funny, you'd think they'd lose any previous religious convictions seeing that this was the afterlife.
  312. >"Ayo you hear dat?"
  313. >"Das a nice beat, could make a bitchin' rap wit dat, know what I'm sayin'".
  314. >The Slav party was coming to them, but it would soon end when it did.
  315. >The conga train stopped, and they looked on with disgust at the newest arrivals.
  316. >"Who lettings American neegro in?"
  317. >"Who let whitey in, das what I wanna know!"
  318. >They were then engaged in a rather aggressive exchange of insults.
  319. >Twilight had to break up this dispute (and free her friends) before this go out of hand.
  320.  
  321. >"Негр will making things much worse in this town!"
  322. >As if the Slav posse didn't do that their selves.
  323. >"Is da crackas like you dat keep us down!"
  324. >Amongst the exchange of insults they Slav gang dropped Fluttershy and Rarity, who then promptly scurried away into Twilight's library.
  325. >Spike poked his head out side the door, then started backing away slowly.
  326. >"This is going to be interesting..."
  327. >And interesting it was...
  328.  
  329. >One morning, everyone in town was awoken by blood curdling screaming and incoherent babbling and yelling.
  330. >The only thing that was comprehensible in what the man was saying was...
  331. >"Muh Dick! MUH DICK! MUH DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK! OH GAWD MUH DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!"
  332. >The sounds he was making were absolutely terrifying.
  333. >Twilight had rushed into town herself to rectify the problem.
  334. >"Oh my, what's wrong?!?! What's happening to you, are you hurt?"
  335. >"[Incoherent Negroid babbling]"
  336. >It took him some time to calm down enough for him to be able to put together a coherent sentence.
  337. >Bawling and crying the man finally told her his predicament.
  338. >"Muh dick! I's woke up dis mo'nin' and it done shrink!"
  339. >Before she could say anything he was already pulling down his pants.
  340. >"Uh, please, there's no need for that, put your pants back on! Now, did you consume something around here? Maybe a plant that you're not familiar with?"
  341. >"I took sum a' dis blue flower thang and I made muhself a blunt, some dank kush, mane..."
  342. >She knew exactly what happened.
  343. >He tried smoking poison joke.
  344. >Who could blame him? He never saw the plant and didn't know what would happen if you put it in your body.
  345. >But then again, if you don't know what it is, it would be pretty stupid to put it in your body without a second thought.
  346. >"Just come with me to the spa, we know exactly how to fix this".
  347.  
  348. >Twilight was accompanied by none other than the animal expert, Fluttershy.
  349. >Bath , prepared with Zecora's poison joke kicking solution, was prepared for the big, dark man.
  350. >"Aww yea das nice".
  351. >Fluttershy was scrubbing the top of his head with a sponge.
  352. >Twilight came around to check up on their patient.
  353. >"Well, sir, are you okay?"
  354. >"Mmmmm, yea boi, deez pones know how to treat a nigga right."
  355. >"Only the best for all our friends, now matter the species!"
  356. >When she said that, something went off in the big chocolate man's head.
  357. >"What was dat?"
  358. >"Oh, I said we care for all our friends in the animal kingdom".
  359. >"The fug you call me?"
  360. >"Umm, is something the matter?"
  361. >"You callin' me an animal, bitch!"
  362. >He stood up and took a big step out of the tub, his shaft now fully restored dangling between his legs.
  363. >Now Fluttershy understood why humans wore clothes all the time.
  364. >"No, no! I didn't mean it like that!"
  365. >It looked like big 'ol DeShawn here wasn't having any of any of it.
  366. >He continued to march towards the defenseless little pegasus.
  367. >She continued to retreat into a corner.
  368. >Finally, Twilight intervened.
  369. >"That's enough! She helped you get better, stop this!"
  370. >Thankfully, he stood down.
  371. >"Please, it was just a little misunderstanding, she didn't mean to say anything to offend you."
  372. >He turned to go pick up his clothes, got himself dressed, then turned to Twilight.
  373. >"Aight, aight, s'all good, we cool".
  374. >Even after he walked out, Fluttershy was still cowering in the corner.
  375. >"Don't worry Fluttershy, he was a little confused, that's all".
  376.  
  377. >Meanwhile, over at Sugarcube Corner, the Slavs had come back from work and were having their selves a drink and some sweets.
  378. >Somehow, they managed to convince Mr. and Mrs. Cake to start selling alcohol at their shop.
  379. >Real smart Mr. and Mrs. Cake, real good business decision.
  380.  
  381. >You would think after the first few (many) times that they've done stupid shit there while drunk, they wouldn't dare serve alcohol at their establishment.
  382. >But then again, they were also afraid of the possible consequences of telling them no, so they obliged.
  383. >Sugary sweets mixed with hard liquor would likely get them drunker, quicker.
  384. >The only thing that could make this situation even more volatile would be if any of their rivals arrived.
  385. >You know what they say, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
  386. >A bunch of niggons arrive with a rather familiar stereo system, blasting some of their beats the managed to make.
  387. >"Ayyo, where do we gets da cakes?"
  388. >"Is at counter there, chocolate person".
  389. >"Thanks, homie..."
  390. >All of them were now ganged up at the counter.
  391. >"Sup, cake pones, can we get dat big cake ya gots dere and some a' dat booze".
  392. >Working quickly they get their order together.
  393. >"Here you go sirs, that'll be twenty bits..."
  394. >"Yeah, mah homie ova here gon' be pickin' up dat tab".
  395. >He said this as he patted the back of a nearby Russian.
  396. >"What is happenings now?"
  397. >He wasn't paying attention and they were already making their way to the door.
  398. >"Here's the bill sir."
  399. >"дерьмо..."
  400. >Before they could make it to the door however, a pissed off Polish guy had already barged in.
  401. >"Hey! That's my music bocks!"
  402. >"Da fug you talkin' 'bout?"
  403.  
  404. >"He stealed stereo! It belong to me!"
  405. >"Ayo mane, dis is our boom box".
  406. >"Yea, he din do nuffin'"
  407. >The Pole stepped forward and slapped the cake out the lead guy's hands.
  408. >"Nigga!"
  409. >"Let's whoop his ass!"
  410. >As they all charged at him, the Slav faction went to their Polish comrade's aid.
  411. >"Heт, стоп, Блядь, Блядь! !"
  412. >Next thing they knew, a massive brawl began.
  413. >Tables, chairs, bottles, pastries, people, pones, and whatever wasn't bolted to the floors or walls was sent flying into the air.
  414. >Running away into the kitchen, Mr. Mrs. Cake go to Pinkie Pie.
  415. >"Quick, we need Princess Twilight and the local guard, hurry!"
  416. >Pinkie bolted out the nearest open window and rushed over to Twilight's library.
  417.  
  418. >Meanwhile, Twilight had finished reading the book that the North African gave her.
  419. >She felt a little uneasy after reading it.
  420. >As Pinkie Pie arrived she didn't even bother knocking on the door.
  421. >"TWILIGHT! FIGHT, SUGARCUBE CORNER, HELP, NOW!!!!"
  422.  
  423. >They both sprinted back to the sweets shop as fast as they could, and they came accompanied by ten local guards.
  424. >"Okay, we're going to need four in front of the building, three in the back, and three to the right, restrain anyone that comes out".
  425. >Just after saying that, one of the brawling gopniks is sent flying out the window, shattering it for the fourth time in the past month.
  426. >"Hurry, don't let him get away".
  427. >The guards rushed forward and tied him up.
  428. >"Pinkie, go get us more help".
  429. >As Pinkie Pie ran off, Twilight went inside to break up the fight.
  430. >The place was an absolute mess, the walls were caked in... cake, most of the furniture was smashed to pieces.
  431. >Several unconscious bodies were scattered about the floor, mostly human.
  432. >The few still standing were beating every imaginable type of fuck out of each other.
  433. >"All of you, stand down! Stop this senseless violence!"
  434. >"HE STEAL FROM US!"
  435. >"WE DIN DO NUFFIN'!"
  436. >They went back at it until Twilight used her magic to stop them in their place.
  437. >Carrying them outside, several patty wagons were already waiting and being loaded up.
  438. >Placing the delinquents inside one of them, she goes to the guard captain.
  439. >"Most of them are going to be needing medical attention".
  440. >"We'll have them hospitalized first, Princess".
  441. >Twilight went back inside to assess the damage done, most of the unconscious were being woken up and escorted outside.
  442. >Two of them, humans, didn't budge.
  443. >"Oh no..."
  444. >An African and a Pole, the two first humans ever to die in Equestria.
  445.  
  446. >Sometime later, Twilight wondered to herself...
  447. >If these people already died once, what happens to them if they died again?
  448. >That's an interesting question, one not even she'll likely ever have the answer to.
  449.  
  450. >Whoever wasn't incarcerated in the two groups came to get their dead, everything was quiet for the next couple of days.
  451. >Seemed they were mourning their dead for that time.
  452. >But sure enough, they were back on their hi jinks again.
  453.  
  454. >Fluttershy was over at Applejack's farm one day to pick up some grain for her chickens.
  455. >Applejack mentioned to her that one of her chicken coups seems to have gone missing.
  456. >"An entire chicken coup, gone? That's pretty strange".
  457. >"Yeah, all that was left of it was the legs it stood on".
  458. >"Any idea who could've taken it, maybe your worker would know".
  459. >"He wouldn't, he passed away in the big brawl at Sugarcube corner..."
  460. >"Oh, I'm sorry..."
  461. >"An' he was a good worker too, even if he was always gettin' himself into trouble".
  462. >As they were speaking it was suggested that maybe that some of their African friends might have taken it.
  463. >"Think about it, they're always being accused of doing such things, my worker probably would have told me they did it".
  464. >"We shouldn't be judging them so quickly, I'm sure, well..."
  465. >She was having a little bit of a difficult time keeping a straight face defending them, considering her experiences with them.
  466. >She then reminded Applejack of the time one of the Ukrainians tried stealing her pigs.
  467. >"Just keep yer eyes peeled Fluttershy".
  468.  
  469. >Arriving home, she went out back with the bag of grain to go feed her chickens.
  470. >She didn't notice at first as she was spreading the seeds about, but her chicken coup was missing as well.
  471. >She took a look around, confused.
  472. >"W-... w-wheres the chickens?"
  473.  
  474.  
  475. >There was no sign of them anywhere.
  476. >She looked off into the surrounding forests, nothing.
  477. >Asking her animals, she wanted to know if they saw whatever might have taken it.
  478. >They didn't really seem to know.
  479. >Caring for all her animals, she was naturally concerned for her chickens.
  480.  
  481. >Meanwhile, over at the library, Twilight was writing a letter to Celestia.
  482. >The subject of her letter was about the recent arrival of the humans, and the difficulty the town has been having with them.
  483.  
  484. Dear Princess Celestia,
  485.  
  486. The past few months have been rather... hectic, to say the least.
  487.  
  488. As you are probably aware, we have gotten some new residents here in Ponyville, completely foreign to our world, and they've stirred things up quite a bit here.
  489. When the first group of them came, the main problem was that they didn't seem to have much, if any, regard for any sort of public decency, but at the very least they're trying to integrate into society.
  490. They work, they pay for what they need, and they pay their taxes.
  491. Now this new group that's arrived has really made quite a ruckus, just as reckless as the first, but they don't really seem to have any interest in contributing to our society, and they seem to have some sort of victim complex, as if they're being oppressed. I can assure you, as far as I know, no one has treated them badly without any cause, nor have I made any sort of orders against them.
  492.  
  493. The worst part about all this is that these two groups have factionalized, even when they first became aware of each other's presence they became belligerent almost immediately.
  494. In the past few days I have noticed them making and buying sizable stockpiles of weapons in each of their camps, and this is very worrying to me.
  495.  
  496. I know you are busy at the moment, but please get in contact as soon as you can.
  497.  
  498. Your faithful student,
  499.  
  500. Twilight Sparkle
  501.  
  502. >She had Spike send it off and she went to leave the library, she had a book to return.
  503.  
  504. >Upon opening the door, she saw the slim, dark man, his hand up in a fist ready to knock on the door.
  505. >"Oh, what a surprise, I was just on my way to find you".
  506. >"Have you read Allah's holy book?"
  507. >"I have, and I must say it's... interesting".
  508. >"Interesting enough to convert?"
  509. >"I... I really don't think so, but thank you for the read anyways."
  510. >The expression he made sent chills down the Alicorns spine.
  511. >absolutelyharam.jpg
  512. >Without another word, he turned around and left.
  513. >As this was happening, the old, stoic Serb was watching.
  514. >He knew exactly what that guy was.
  515. >He had detected Kebab.
  516.  
  517.  
  518. >Meanwhile, yet again, Fluttershy was flying about through Ponyville, trying to solve the mystery of the missing chickens.
  519. >During that search, she smelled something awfully strange, something she never smelled before, but it made her expect the worst.
  520. >It smelled as of someone was cooking something.
  521. >She followed it to the outskirts of town, where she found the source of the aroma.
  522. >The niggons had built benches and chairs out of the chicken coups that were missing.
  523. >They had their selves a little fire pit with a cauldron above it, boiling some sort of oil.
  524. >They were sticking these pieces of meat slathered in batter into the mix, frying it up.
  525. >"Boi, dis is some good diddy right here".
  526. >"Yea mane".
  527. >They smacked their lips as they chewed on their meals.
  528. >Looking around, she saw that there were feathers flying about, getting scattered in the wind.
  529. >A fryer, eating, feathers...
  530. >It didn't take long for her to put two and two together.
  531. >Twoplustwoequalsfriedchicken.png
  532. >She screamed upon the realization that her chickens were being eaten by these mongrels.
  533.  
  534.  
  535. >The scream could be heard from miles around, it was caught by Rainbow Dash who was sleeping on a nearby cloud.
  536. >Fluttershy rushed forward and began kicking negro arse.
  537. >"YOU ATE MY CHICKENS, HOW COULD YOU!"
  538. >"We din know dey was yous!"
  539. >"THERE WAS A FENCE AROUND THEM YOU SAVAGE!"
  540. >She grabbed a hold of the nearest guy and just started hammering away at his face with her hoof.
  541. >His buddies tried to get her off, but she was stuck to him like a tick on a dog's ass and continued to turn his face into ground beef.
  542. >Rainbow Dash finally arrived on the scene.
  543. >"Fluttershy, what are you doing, you'll kill him!"
  544. >Secretly, she wanted that.
  545. >Finally getting her off the big nig, Fluttershy was still throwing punches into the air until she finally broke down into tears.
  546. >After she ran away back home, Rainbow Dash turned to confront the men.
  547. >"Alright, what did you do?"
  548. >"We din du..."
  549. >"DAMMIT, YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT! Judging by all this here, you've obviously been doing something!"
  550. >She argued with them for about a half-hour before giving up with them.
  551.  
  552. >Meanwhile, back at Fluttershy's cottage, she was laying down, weeping into a pillow.
  553. >There is then knocking on her door.
  554. >Opening it up, it was a group of Slavs, holding a big basket of eggs.
  555. >"Listen, Flutterhorse, we know that American nigger take chicken, but we fight them long and hard to save".
  556. >"But we manage to savings egg, you can still be havings chicks! 'cheep cheep', yes is fertile chicken egg".
  557. >Fluttershy's crying subsided.
  558. >"Oh, well, thank you..."
  559. >"Now can we havings sexual intercourses?"
  560. >That seemed to piss Fluttershy the hell off.
  561. >She slapped the man who dared ask that question and slammed the door on them.
  562. >"Of shitbullings me!"
  563. >"Maybe she is lesbinian like Rainbow Horse, too!"
  564. >"XaXaXaXaXa!"
  565. >And then they walked off to go cause trouble elsewhere.
  566.  
  567. >Later that evening, Rarity was closing up her shop.
  568. >It was a rather exhausting day, catering to all these new customers.
  569. >At least she managed to sell off all her leftover ascot caps from a previous year.
  570. >"Oh Sweetie Belle, would you mind coming down to help me?"
  571. >As they were packing up for the day, they were being watched.
  572. >Just more trouble they needed for that day.
  573. >In the tents to the front of the Carousel Boutique, a nig-nog was hiding in the shadows.
  574. >In some nearby bushes, the Slavic rapist that tried to bone Derpy was at it again.
  575. >The big black guy charged in first, breaking the front door off its hinges.
  576. >"OOGA BOOGA, GIMMIE DAT WHITE PONI PUSSAY!!!!"
  577. >Both Rarity and Sweetie Belle screamed at the sight of this behemoth.
  578. >Seconds later, the Slav bursts in through the window.
  579. >"PRETTY WHITE HORSE IS MINE, NIGGER!"
  580. >A fist fight ensued between the two of them.
  581. >As those two were occupied, Rarity and Sweetie Belle snuck out.
  582. >One of them did manage to grab Rarity, and pull her back into the house.
  583. >"AAAAAHHHHH, Sweetie Belle, get help, hurry!"
  584. >As she ran off, the two were pulling Rarity back and fourth fighting over who would get to liberate her from her fascist virginity.
  585. >"Dis bitch is mine, fug off!"
  586. >"Nyet, is mine, shetskin!"
  587. >If help didn't come soon, they would end up tearing her in half they way they were going at it.
  588.  
  589. >It was ten minutes before Sweetie Belle came back with Twilight.
  590. >"TWILIGHT, THEY"RE GOING TO VIOLATE ME, DO SOMETHING!!!"
  591. >Using her magic to grab the nearest log, she bashes the two brutes' heads with it.
  592. >They both fall, dropping Rarity in the process.
  593. >She get herself up and sprints to Twilight, embracing her in a tight hug in the process.
  594. >Sobbing into Twilight's chest, she can't stop thanking her for the rescue.
  595. >"There, there, Rarity, you're safe now, come with me back to the library".
  596. >Using her magic to lift the two would-be rapists out of Rarity's home, she brought them to the center of town where guards would restrain them later.
  597. >"We should gather the others, we need to do something about these people".
  598.  
  599. >As they were making their way over to the library, they noticed a rather bright light in front of it.
  600. >Getting closer, they could see that it was a fire.
  601. >Getting even closer, Twilight saw that the Kebab was in the middle of burning her books.
  602. >"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY BOOKS!"
  603. >"These are haram, Alicorn, only the word of Allah is acceptable".
  604. >Before she could say anything else, the Serb had arrived and charged down the radical Islamist.
  605. >As they fought, Rarity got to work trying to save as many of her friend's books as possible, lifting them out of the fire with her magic.
  606. >Twilight broke up the fight.
  607. >The North African turns to the Serb.
  608. >"We will see to it you are exterminated from this land, just like my brothers will in the world from which we came".
  609. >The Serb said nothing, all he did was stare him down, and walk away.
  610. >The Kebab followed suit, it seemed they were heading off to their own separate camps.
  611.  
  612. >Going inside the library, the first thing Twilight and Rarity saw was Spike beaten to a bloody pulp in the middle of the floor.
  613. >"SPIKE! What happened to you?"
  614. >"I... tried saving your books, but he..."
  615. >"No need to say another word, Spike, we understand".
  616. >Rarity embraced Spike in a hug, trying to comfort him.
  617. >If this whole fiasco wasn't a personal issue for Twilight already, it certainly was now.
  618.  
  619. >An hour later, all of Twilight's friends were gathered.
  620. >"Oh, before we can begin this meeting, Rainbow Dash, would you mind taking Sweetie Belle home?"
  621. >"Actually, I think it would be safer if ya brought 'er over to the farm".
  622. >"She's absolutely right, our home's been ravaged by those two brutes".
  623. >"We'll fill you in when you get back".
  624. >"Don't you worry, I'll be back in no time!"
  625. >Finally, the discussion on how to deal with their troublesome pests began.
  626. >"They're even worse than that parasprite infestation we had once."
  627. >"At least we were able to get them outta town, these guys just won't go, they have nowhere to go!"
  628. >"As much as I would love to give them a chance, as much as I would love to be friendly with them, we have to get them out of here".
  629. >Right after Twilight said that, Rainbow Dash had returned.
  630. >"GUYS! GUYS! Follow me! Something big is happening just outside Ponyville!"
  631. >It would seem that Twilight's worst fears would soon be realized.
  632. >The fight between the Serb and the African Muslim might have been the cause, or rather, the tipping point of this.
  633.  
  634. >As they approached the outskirts, the clanking of metal could be heard getting louder and louder with each step (or flap of the wing) they took.
  635. >what sounded like an explosion was also heard in the proximity.
  636. >Coming over a hill, they got a good view of what was unfolding.
  637. >A medieval styled battle between the Slavs and the Africans.
  638. >All the weapons they built and bought, now being used for this one big battle.
  639. >They clashed blades with each other, threw spears at one another.
  640. >"Remove watermelon!"
  641. >The Slavic faction was fighting shirtless, their bodies marked with Swastikas, tattooed with black tar and melted rubber.
  642. >You just know most of these guys have been to prison at one point.
  643. >The battle had been unfolding for a little while now, mutilated bodies were scattered all over.
  644. >A few of them were manning one of their makeshift garbage cannons.
  645. >That's what made that first explosion.
  646. >They prepared another round, and upon lighting the fuse, they tore at least five of their black adversaries to bits.
  647. >"You see Vladimir, when put in spikey steel ball and confetti like me, you can make killings and celebrate!"
  648. >Just as he finished saying that, a spear was driven right into his chest.
  649. >"Radoslav, no!"
  650. >"DIE WHITEY!"
  651. >The Slav managed to dodge his next jab, then drove a blade into his neck.
  652. >The Slav's forces were diminishing quick against the greater numbers of the African onslaught.
  653. >A Polish fighter arrived with the last canon, already lit.
  654. >He ended up tripping, falling onto the back of it, vaulting upwards, with the muzzle of the canon pressing against the ground.
  655. >"Oh kurwa".
  656. >As the fuse expired, as the weapon discharged, all the fighters were engulfed in the explosion.
  657. >The Pole, however, blasted off and never came down, not that anyone saw anyways.
  658. >They were all dead, except for two.
  659. >At the far ends of the field, the Orthodox Christian Serb and Islamic African were staring each other down, each bearing a sword.
  660.  
  661. >The ponies watched on, in suspense, horror, and awe, at the events that have happened and what is now unfolding.
  662. >The two men stared into each others eyes, locked in each other's sight for what felt like an eternity.
  663. >In the middle of their little staring contest, clouds gathered, lightning shot across the sky and thunder sounded.
  664. >In almost no time, it started raining on the belligerent men.
  665. >"Rainbow Dash! What are you doing?"
  666. >Rainbow Dash zips back to her friends.
  667. >"Hey, I know when a good fight is gonna go down when I see one, I just wanted to make their little scene a little more awesome to watch".
  668. >She should be a film director.
  669. >The rain drops continued to flow down the stoic faces of the men.
  670. >Finally, one of them made a move.
  671. >"ALLAH HU ACKBAR!!!"
  672. >"Бог је Србин!!!
  673. >Charging at each other, their blades clash so hard they produce bright sparks.
  674. >In their duel, both demonstrate great swordsmanship, perfect form, and even some impressive acrobatics.
  675. >If their swords weren't clashing, then they were flipping and rolling about to avoid each other's swings and thrusts.
  676. >Finally, the Kebab puts one final thrust into the side of the Serb.
  677. >Stunned, the Serbian falls to his knees.
  678. >Twilight and her friends watch on with horrified astonishment.
  679. >"You lose, infidel!"
  680. >He attempts to pull his blade out of the Serb's gut, but then he grabs on to it, gripping it like an iron vise.
  681. >With an upwards swing of his own blade, he removes the Kebab's hand.
  682. >As his blade is swinging back down, he removes his head.
  683. >Therefore, removing the Kebab.
  684.  
  685. >Finally getting the strength to stand back up, he pulls the sword out of his side.
  686. >He puts a hand over his open wound, trying to keep all his blood from rushing out of him at once.
  687. >Looking around at the devastation that had taken place, one would be able to say he was shedding a tear.
  688. >Reluctantly, Twilight and her friends ran down to go help him.
  689. >Grabbing a nearby piece of cloth, Twilight uses it as a tourniquet and tends to the Serb's wound.
  690. >"Oh no, what is Celestia going to think when she sees this?"
  691. >"I saw the whole thing, Twilight, and even I don't know what to make of it..."
  692. >Turning around, it was none other than Princess Celestia herself.
  693. >"PRINCESS... I-I... didn't know what to do, they started fighting here before we knew it, then they all..."
  694. >"Twilight, I understand, I apologize for not coming sooner, but I don't think I would've known what to do either..."
  695. >As they are speaking, the Serb turns around and tries to sneak away, but is then called out by Celestia.
  696. >"Excuse me sir, but where are you going?"
  697. >He turned around and looked the flowing maned Alicorn in the eye.
  698. >"I'm sorry..."
  699. >He turned guiltily towards the Everfree forest and hobbled off.
  700. >They all assumed that he went there to die.
  701. >After watching the man disappear into the forest, Celestia looked to Twilight.
  702. >"What will you do?"
  703. >Twilight took a look around.
  704. >"Well... first we need to clean this up".
  705. >Wasn't exactly the answer she was looking for.
  706. >"What shall you do if, or when, they come back?"
  707. >Twilight was hesitant to answer, she continued to pile up the bodies.
  708. >"I... I don't know yet, I'll figure it out".
  709. >A mass grave was dug out, it was left unmarked since everyone just wanted to forget this whole thing.
  710. >'What will you do if, or when, they come back?'
  711. >This was something she didn't want to answer, all she could do was hope they didn't.
  712.  
  713. >More than two years after the self-genocide, you arrived.
  714.  
  715. >Unlike the previous visitors they had, you didn't get much of a formal greeting.
  716. >As you were wandering about, trying to make sense of what was happening and where you were, Rainbow Dash had spotted you and hauled ass back to Ponyville to alert the residents.
  717. >"Everypone! Hide, we've got a human!"
  718. >After a collective gasp they all scrambled to get back into their houses and lock their doors.
  719.  
  720. >Ten minutes later, you arrive into town.
  721.  
  722. >"'ello, 'ello, is anyone here? I thought I heard something in this direction".
  723. >You took a short walk around Ponyville, doing a little sightseeing before going about knocking on doors.
  724. >"Hmmm, a quaint little village this is, rather lovely I would say".
  725. >The first place you try is a local business, the Sugarcube Corner.
  726. >"My my, what've we got here, did they hire Willy Wonka to construct this?"
  727. >You try knocking on the door, no answer.
  728. >"Closed, at this hour?"
  729. >You walked away, not knowing that everyone inside was hiding below the window sills.
  730. >You then tried several other businesses.
  731. >Personal homes.
  732. >Then you tried what looked like a town hall.
  733. >None of them got an answer, all of them locked.
  734. >"This is bollocks. There's absolutely no way that this place is truly abandoned if the doors are all locked."
  735. >That, plus the fact that everything was still well maintained.
  736. >You then spot something shiny off in the distance, what looked like a castle.
  737. >"How have I not noticed that?"
  738. >Within a few minutes, you were right at the doors of it.
  739. >You decided to take a minute to admire it.
  740. >"Good lord, it's no Buckingham Palace, but I may say it is rather majestic".
  741. >You tap your fist on one of the outside walls.
  742. >"If this is glass then I'd imagine there would be rules regarding the throwing of stones here".
  743. >You chuckle to yourself at the rather corny joke you made.
  744. >Twilight and her friends, right on the other side, stood silently, hoping for you to just walk away.
  745.  
  746. >One of them, Rainbow Dash, was having a little bit of difficulty trying to keep silent.
  747. >She was 'avin 'erself a giggle, m8.
  748. >Apparently she found his little joke funny.
  749. >"Quiet, quiet!"
  750. >You walked up to the big double-doors and gave several good knocks.
  751. >You wait for about a minute, it was a pretty big building, and getting to the door if it wasn't already manned would take a while.
  752. >But you soon gave up on that endeavor.
  753. "Bugger, what do I do now?"
  754. >Looking off into the distance, on a nearby mountain, you notice a cluster of other castles.
  755. >"Well, I can't imagine that place over there being abandoned, unless there's a terrible illness going around".
  756. >In your mind, you were dreading the distance that you would have to walk.
  757. >But, it was the only option you could think of, so you would have to endure the trek.
  758. >You kept your mind on the possibilities that might lie ahead.
  759.  
  760. >Meanwhile, Twilight went up to the balcony to see if the newcomer was leaving.
  761. >Oh you were, but you were on the road towards Canterlot.
  762. >Seeing where you were going, she went into a bit of a panic.
  763. >Remembering what the Slavs and Afros did to Ponyville, her heart raced at the thought of a human going into Canterlot and wreaking havoc.
  764. >"Oh, I don't think it's anything to worry about, I mean it's just one..."
  765.  
  766. >But how bad was this one? Would he be like a one man army and just leave destruction in his wake?
  767. >How many pones would he >Rape?
  768. >She knew she might be a little over-paranoid about all this, but it was still something she didn't want to risk.
  769. >She had to go and greet you.
  770. >"Twilight, is it gone yet? Twilight?"
  771. >She was already in flight.
  772. >Rarity called out to her.
  773. >"Don't do it, he might force himself onto you!"
  774.  
  775. >Landing right behind you, you don't seem to notice.
  776. >She is hesitant, but she eventually calls to you.
  777. >"Umm, hello there!"
  778. >You turn around, and are quite surprised by what you see.
  779. "My word, have I gone mad or does this pony speak to me?"
  780.  
  781. >The only thing Twilight was thinking was whether the ape's drank his brains out or drugged himself so much before that he wasn't sure what was real anymore.
  782. >Hey, that's what she thought of humans, considering her previous encounters.
  783. >"This pony does indeed speak to you sir..."
  784. "So glad to find another intelligent being here, would you mind telling me where I am?"
  785. >She gives him the whole spiel, he's in Ponyville, Equestria, asks him where he's from, and so on.
  786. "I'm from a world called Earth, born and raised in England".
  787. >So far, Twilight was having a good feeling about him, he seemed like a much more refined individual than the others.
  788. "Might I ask why I haven't seen a soul anywhere in this entire town? Is everything under quarantine, or anything of that nature?"
  789. >Before Twilight could answer you, you provided your own.
  790. "I mean, I can understand if creatures such as myself aren't exactly common here, but still, everyone hiding like this is a bit of an overreaction, wouldn't you say?"
  791. >Maybe just a little.
  792. >Twilight's friends were watching from the rooftop of Twilight's castle.
  793. >Rarity let out a sigh.
  794. >"She just couldn't let Canterlot deal with the beast, could she..."
  795. >"I say we kill it!"
  796. >"As much as I want to help all creatures, I think I agree with Rainbow Dash".
  797. >"well, at least he's alone, can't be much damage he could do himself".
  798. >"Look, she's coming back! He's following her!"
  799. >"She couldn't possibly..."
  800. >As Fluttershy was speaking, Rarity interrupted.
  801. >"We better get downstairs and meet her".
  802.  
  803. >Twilight's friends got down to the lobby just as the door was opened.
  804. >She came in, followed by the charming British fellow, that being you.
  805. >The expressions on everyone's faces were indicating that they all had mixed feelings about you, mostly negative ones.
  806. >"Well sir, care to introduce yourself?"
  807. "You may call me Anonymous, it is a pleasure to be making your acquaintance".
  808. >The feeling didn't seem to be mutual, judging by all the slightly angry or scared faces.
  809. >"Girls, would you like to introduce yourselves?"
  810. >Reluctantly, they did.
  811. >"Applejack"
  812. >"*sigh*...Rainbow Dash"
  813. >"F-Fluttershy"
  814. >"Rarity"
  815. >"P...P-Pinkie Pie..."
  816. >The Slavs pretty much turned Pinkie Pie into Fluttershy with their garbage cannon.
  817. >She turned timid every time a human was around, or even mentioned, her fears still haven't subsided.
  818. >"Oh, and I forgot to mention, I'm Twilight Sparkle".
  819. "Once again, it's a pleasure".
  820.  
  821. >Just as that little meet and greet ended, Spike had entered the room looking for Twilight.
  822. >He opened his mouth ready to call out to her, but then he noticed you.
  823. "And who is that over there?"
  824. >"That's Spike, my personal assistant".
  825. >He backed away out of sight quickly, remembering the hard ass kicking he received from the Kebab.
  826. >You were thinking to yourself, 'bloody hell, and Liberal Democrat supporters thought 'I' was xenophobic...'
  827. >"So, what's your story, how did you end up here?"
  828. >Everypone was curious to see if you had a similar untimely death like your predecessors.
  829. >Did you die thinking you were taking drugs but was instead poison?
  830. >Did you get gunned down by police even though you 'din do 'nuffin'?
  831. "Well, I was just at home getting ready to head off to visit a friend, just before I headed out the door, a group of damned Paki lads were marching out in the streets in front of my home, proclaiming that I was now living in a 'Sharia controlled zone', hmph, bloody bollocks. So I decided that going out wasn't a good idea at the moment, it was then I turned around and saw the plumber I had hired that day, he took one look at me and I saw murder in his eyes. He took out a large monkey wrench from his toolbox, all I remember is the man bashin' me fookin' head in with it, next thing I know I'm here. Damned Pollack."
  832. >"Why would the man you hired kill you?"
  833. "I do believe it had something to do with me wearing this button here..."
  834. >The button on your suit jacket read 'UKIP'.
  835. "He must've been a bloody foreigner, angry that I was against mass immigration to my country, Poles tend to become plumbers to support their selves in my country".
  836. >Of course, murdered by a Slav.
  837.  
  838. "Hell, if my dying makes national news, I can guarantee that our politicians will move to start banning or controlling anything that's long and hard, 'those can hurt people you know!', bloody cunts... Does that mean African men are banned too?"
  839. >Rainbow Dash and Applejack had their selves a little giggle.
  840. >It appeared they liked immature penis jokes.
  841. >Well, they all seemed to agree on something, except the Pones didn't really seem to have a choice whether (human) immigrants came or not.
  842. >Then again, they could just ask him to leave, and they certainly wanted to do that.
  843. >They had one thing to say to the Brit, something that they tried to tell the Slavs and the Afros previously, but not sternly enough.
  844. >"Alright sir, please listen, and listen well, if you are going to be staying here in our town, this land, our world, you will have to abide by our rules and our customs".
  845. "I don't suppose I have any choice, unless her majesty once held imperial ties here and left an embassy, which would help me get home, but then again home is where I died..."
  846. >It seemed to ease everyone's minds that you expressed willingness to be compliant.
  847. >None the less, they still didn't have reason to like you, let alone trust you.
  848. "It is getting rather late, there wouldn't happen to be any sort of hotel in the area that would take the Pound Sterling here would there?"
  849. >"I'm afraid not, maybe one of my friends would be able to offer..."
  850. >The quick shaking of their heads was their way of saying 'hell no!'
  851. >"I'm sorry..."
  852. "No, no, it's quite alright, I perfectly understand".
  853. >Twilight got to thinking, although she had a preconceived disdain for humans (hell, anyone would hate us too if the only one's they got to meet were complete degenerates), she still couldn't allow you to be homeless.
  854. >"I think I have an idea..."
  855. >She took you to the outskirts of town, where you were presented a dilapidated old shack.
  856. >It was the old brew house.
  857. >There was vegetation growth all over it, and Slav runes were spray painted all over it.
  858. "I'm guessing I wasn't the first human to come, am I?"
  859. >You open the door and look inside, it didn't look much better.
  860. "This doesn't seem exactly livable, at least by my standards".
  861. >"Have a good evening, we'll talk more tomorrow!"
  862. >That sounded pretty far away.
  863. >You turned around and saw Twilight already flying back home.
  864. "Twilight, you cheeky little cunt".
  865. >Well, you didn't intend on sleeping in filth, if you were going to make this place livable, you would have to do it yourself.
  866.  
  867. >You spent the better part of the evening rummaging through all the leftover materials in the house and throwing it outside.
  868. >It was a pretty unpleasant sight when you were done, as if the house wasn't an eyesore to begin with, now there was a giant heap of rubbish next to it.
  869. >There was no way you'd be able to dispose of it tonight, you were completely drained of your energy.
  870. >Dying, running about Ponyville looking for an intelligent being, cleaning your new home, you've had a long day.
  871. >Now it was time for bed.
  872. >You hadn't bothered making any of the beds yet, but you were too tired to deal with that now.
  873. >You disrobed and made your way over to the nearest one.
  874. >Plopping down ass first onto the bed, you feel a sharp pain on your right ass cheek.
  875. "AHH, feck!"
  876. >Turning yourself over, you pull out what seemed to be a short bladed knife.
  877. "Bleedin' 'eck, what the fock was this doing here?"
  878.  
  879. >More than two years earlier.
  880. >"You see Miroslav, when rival makes taking of pusi that you wish to take, you take revenge with trap for benis or anus."
  881. >"Comrades, battle against chocolate men is starting!"
  882. >"CYKA, let's go!"
  883. >The wound didn't look too bad, you took out a handkerchief from you suit pocket and used it to cover the cut.
  884. >Now you could finally get some sleep.
  885.  
  886. >Meanwhile, back at Twilight's castle, the six ponies and the dragon that greeted you were discussing what they were going to do with you.
  887. >"I still say we should kill him while he doesn't suspect anything!"
  888. >"Rainbow, does he really need to get murdered again?"
  889. >"I don't know 'bout him, he seems nice, but, he is a human. Would it be in their nature to be committin' shenanigans like they did before?"
  890. >"Well, like you said, Applejack, even if it is he's still only one, and that would be quite simple to deal with".
  891. >"Yeah, there'll only one we'll have to... oh dear".
  892. >Twilight interrupted their little murder plot.
  893. >"Now hold on girls, I don't trust him anymore than you do, but we should give him some time to earn that trust".
  894. >Remembering all their lessons on friendship, they agreed, albeit reluctantly.
  895.  
  896. >"Well, at the very least he's well dressed, unlike those others with their track suits, baggy pants, and the blatantly fake jewelry".
  897. >At least.
  898. >"He also seems to be fairly cultured, and he did say he was willing to integrate".
  899. >"I still wouldn't be lettin' mah gaurd down if I were you".
  900. >So it was settled, they weren't going to kill you.
  901.  
  902. >You woke up early the next morning, still feeling the pain on your ass cheek from what you sat on last night.
  903. >Taking a look out a nearby window, you could see that it was still very early, the sunrise was happening pretty fast.
  904. "Strange, I've never seen the sun rise so fast you could notice it moving."
  905. >Taking a moment to admire this anomaly, you notice you had a bit of a bad smell you to you.
  906. "bleedin' eck, and I told myself I didn't want to sleep in filth, but look what I did..."
  907. >Not only that, you also felt sticky and nasty.
  908. >You really had to get those bed sheets cleaned.
  909. >You started rummaging around looking for some sort of soap.
  910. >When you found a bar of it, you put on your trousers and left to find yourself a secluded stream or pond to go bathe yourself.
  911.  
  912. >Finding a lake, you took a quick look around to make sure no one was watching.
  913. >You were hoping that you had gotten there early enough so that no one would come around and catch you in the buff.
  914. >But, you know what they say, whatever can go wrong will go wrong.
  915. >You were in the water, rubbing the bar of soap about your body for about twenty minutes, you were rather enjoying your bath.
  916. >You even started to hum a little tune.
  917. >Enjoying your bath a little too much, you didn't notice the three little fillies coming over the hill.
  918. >It was Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Applebloom.
  919. >They stopped dead in their tracks when they saw you.
  920. >It was a good minute before you noticed you had visitors.
  921.  
  922. >Turning around and opening your eyes, you notice the three little ponies and freeze in place, feeling their eyes on you.
  923. >Your eyes stare into theirs from afar for about ten seconds...
  924. >...then everyone begins screaming.
  925. >"ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshitssougly!"
  926. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry you had to see this!"
  927. >You then grab your clothes and sprint over to the nearest bush.
  928. >"Run, we have to tell somepone!"
  929. >Brilliant, you might just get labelled a paedosexual streaker.
  930. >At least they understood why you wore clothes all the time in public.
  931. >Because you were still wet, you had leafs from the bush stuck all over you, just perfect.
  932. >You brushed off as much as you could and put your clothes back on, you were going to be itchy for the rest of the day.
  933. >Some time later, you made your way over to Twilight's castle.
  934. >You reconsidered the route you were taking, your passing through Ponyville didn't necessarily silence their conversations, but you still garnered much attention.
  935. >Negative attention that is.
  936. >It was pretty obvious that they were all talking about you, and they definitely weren't saying nice things.
  937. >Twilight never really gave you a specific time for you to be at her castle, but even if she did you didn't have the time anyways.
  938. >But there was still the clock tower, but it wasn't always within your line of sight.
  939. "That thing has nothing on Big Ben".
  940. >You wondered if it provided a nice 'bong' every hour like it did at home.
  941.  
  942. >Arriving at the castle, you knock on the front doors.
  943. >You scratch your arse a little bit as it is still itchy from this morning.
  944. >A pinkish aura shines from the doors, you back away a little bit to let them open.
  945. >It was Twilight that answered it.
  946. >Judging by her facial expression, you had done something that didn't amuse her.
  947. "I take it that news came out of, well, my rather indecent exposure..."
  948. >"I've spoken with my friends, and they've agreed to provide you employment, whenever you get paid I would recommend you invest in a bathtub".
  949. "Duly noted miss Sparkle."
  950. >She takes you to the the main throne room, looked like there were several seats for her friends.
  951. >Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie were gathered there as well.
  952. "Hold on a moment, these are your thrones?"
  953. >"Umm, yes."
  954. "Are you all... Royals?"
  955. >"Well, Twilight is the one with the title of 'Princess'.
  956. >Your eyes must have turned as big as dinner plates when you heard her friends say that.
  957. "Oh my God, how could have I been so blind, I am so sorry your majesty!"
  958. >You bowed down as low as you could so you could grovel in front of her.
  959. >"Please, there's no need for that, I don't exactly demand this kind of attention anyways".
  960. >She never was a fan of ass-kissing.
  961. "Forgive me, your highness".
  962. >"Please don't call me that".
  963. >Now it was time to get down to business.
  964.  
  965. >"Like I said, my friends are willing to provide you with work so you can support yourself here".
  966. "I must say, I am most grateful for the opportunities you are giving me".
  967. >You discussed the arrangements and schedules with each of them.
  968. >Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, you would be working at Sweet Apple Acres for Applejack.
  969. >Thursday and Friday you would be working at the Carousel Boutique for Rarity.
  970. >On the weekends, you would be working at the Sugarcube Corner, although Pinkie would still have to discuss the arrangements with Mr. and Mrs. Cake.
  971. >After the meeting, you went back to the home they gave you, they had sent you with a calendar and a clock so you could make it to work on time.
  972. >You decided to do more work on your new house, you threw away some of the unnecessary beds, keeping only two.
  973. >Why two, on the off chance you had guests to accommodate.
  974. >Considering the scorn you were getting from the locals, that seemed highly unlikely.
  975. >But hey, you never know.
  976. >You also made sure to wash out the beds and make sure there were no more traps in any of them.
  977. >Secretly, you wished you could get a trap in your bed, hehe...
  978. >More junk piled up next to the house, you were going to have to deal with that sooner or later, preferably sooner, the house is an eyesore to begin with and it didn't need another next to it.
  979. >Early that evening, Rarity and Applejack had showed up to your house.
  980. >"Anon".
  981. "Oh, 'ello there, what brings you here?"
  982. >"Well, ya kinda traumatized our sisters this mornin'..."
  983. >"So we decided to take the liberty and save you some time and money and got you this old bathtub from Applejack's farm".
  984. >She used her magic to float the tub over your head and just went ahead and dropped it upside down on you.
  985. "Bloody hell!"
  986. >"Please clean yourself up before coming to the boutique tomorrow".
  987. >As they walked away, you lifted up the tub.
  988. "Thank you very much, madame, this is much appreciated".
  989.  
  990. >You don't really think that they caught your British sarcasm, but nonetheless, you truly were grateful for the gift.
  991. >You haul the thing off into your house with some difficulty.
  992. >Knowing it was going to be a while before you got any plumbing utilities installed, you were going to need this thing propped up on bricks or something so you'd be able to drain it out with pots.
  993. >It was time to get ready for tomorrow, today was a long day and you just wanted to get some sleep.
  994.  
  995. >You got up early the next day to prepare for your workday with Rarity and you wanted to make a good impression.
  996. >Remember: if you're early, you're on time, on time, you're late, late... don't bother showing up.
  997. >It was about a half hour before your scheduled start time when you arrived at Rarity's home.
  998. >You knock on the door and wait a few minutes.
  999. >Turning around for a moment, you take a look at Rarity's beautiful home.
  1000. "Fine place to have a house like this, quite a nice view of the town here".
  1001. >The door opened without you noticing, it was Sweetie Belle.
  1002. >Using this opportunity, she used her magic to lift up a threading needle, and aimed the sharp end at your buttocks.
  1003. >"C'mon, easy...."
  1004. >She inched it closer and closer, until finally the was close enough to put forward one final thrust.
  1005. >You couldn't help but let out a girly little scream and a lewd looking blush when it struck.
  1006. "AAAHH! Bloody hell, who pinched me buttocks!"
  1007. >You noticed Sweetie Belle, 'avin herself a giggle.
  1008. "You little ankle biter..."
  1009. >"Oh Rarity! Your worker's here!"
  1010.  
  1011. >"Do let him in, please".
  1012. >You followed the little marshmallow white filly inside.
  1013. >"You're a little early, my sister will be down in a minute".
  1014. "Thank you..."
  1015. >The rest of her home was as lovely as it was on the outside, something you hoped to emulate in your house whenever you got the money to start renovating.
  1016. "Was there any reason you had to do what you did back there, erm, whatsyourname...?"
  1017. >"Sweetie Belle, and I had to get your attention, didn't I?"
  1018. "Certainly there must have been some other way..."
  1019. >"Yeah, but that big butt of yours seemed like the most obvious place to hit".
  1020. >You were visibly taken aback by what she said, hell, you were blushing.
  1021. "My, how dare you!"
  1022. >She had herself a little chuckle then went on her way.
  1023. >You might have been a little on the chunky side, but your arse couldn't be that embarrassingly big.
  1024. >Well, she did see you naked yesterday, she might just be picking on you for that.
  1025. >At least, you hoped.
  1026. >Finally, Rarity had come downstairs to meet you.
  1027. "A pleasure to be meeting you again".
  1028. >"I see you've formally met my sister."
  1029. "Yes yesyesyes, quite a piece of work that one is..."
  1030. >"You didn't try anything funny with her, like attempting to molest her, did you?"
  1031. >Good God, these creatures were judgmental.
  1032. "Even more embarrassing than that, she molested me."
  1033. >You said that as you rubbed your rump on the spot she poked you, this seemed to amuse Rarity a bit.
  1034. >"Very well, let me show you around".
  1035.  
  1036. >Her home and business wasn't that big, so the tour didn't take long.
  1037. "So what shall be my role in this business of yours?"
  1038. >"You will be working upstairs assembling whatever articles of clothing I request".
  1039. >There are sales people (the attractive workers), then there are people who work in the back (the workers people would rather not look at).
  1040. >Since the citizenry is not exactly comfortable with your presence, you would of course be working in the back.
  1041. >Plus, you had to admit, the proprietor of this establishment was rather attractive.
  1042. >That is, for an equine.
  1043. >You just didn't like the idea of finding any of the locals attractive, you wouldn't dare touch most women of a different race, why a whole different species?
  1044. >But hell, who could help it?
  1045. >Why couldn't humanity be this adorable looking?
  1046. >Anyways, the tasks she would be having you do weren't difficult by any means.
  1047. >Getting to work, you found that it was actually rather pleasant working for her.
  1048. >The one bad part of this job was the repetitiveness.
  1049. >And you kept sticking yourself every now and then.
  1050. "Ah, bugger!"
  1051. >You would only be getting paid next week.
  1052. >That kinda sucked, you didn't have much food left, and you had no money (well, locally accepted currency anyways, you had plenty of banknotes that were pretty much as good as firewood).
  1053. >Would you have to beg for your meals until payday?
  1054. >You hoped it didn't come to that, the pones dislike you already, acting like a bum wouldn't make their opinion of you any more favorable.
  1055. >End of the day, you headed home.
  1056.  
  1057. >It seemed your food dilemma was resolved for the moment, since you found a rather pleasant surprise waiting at your door.
  1058. >A gift basket, filled with over ripened fruits and vegetables, and stale pastries, was waiting in front of your door.
  1059. >It wasn't top quality gourmet eating, but it was edible, and that's all that really mattered.
  1060. >Inside it was a note.
  1061.  
  1062. Hello Mr. Anonymous,
  1063.  
  1064. It didn't occur to us initially that you had little (if any) food, so we put together this gift basket for you, this way you won't have any excuse to beg for food or steal it.
  1065. We're sorry about the low quality of the foodstuffs, but the point of this is to sustain you until next week.
  1066.  
  1067. Good luck, Anonymous.
  1068.  
  1069. Twilight Sparkle
  1070.  
  1071. >A very heartwarming message.
  1072. >You knew magic existed here, but was this purple one able to read minds?
  1073. >Well, you appreciated the gesture.
  1074. >You got yourself prepared for the next workday.*
  1075.  
  1076.  
  1077. >Your insides weren't cooperating with you the next morning.
  1078. >Seemed last nights dinner was acting up, and it wanted to get out badly.
  1079. >You rushed out into the little patch of woods near your house.
  1080. >As soon as you were sure you were out of sight, you dropped your pants.
  1081. >It felt as if all the evils of your world followed you, were stored up within your body, took liquid form, and were now being expelled all at once.
  1082. >It appeared you would have to deal with this regularly for the next week until you could buy your own fresh food that wouldn't make you shit your pants.
  1083. "Bloody wankers, they may as well try to poison me!"
  1084. >For all you know, that's probably what they were doing.
  1085. >They may as well have sent you Haribo sugar free gummy bears, oh God, you hoped they didn't have anything like that here.
  1086. >If they kept this up, you might just develop trust issues.
  1087. >After the most brutal shit you ever took in your life, you got yourself dressed in your usual suit and tie and headed off to Rarity's.
  1088. >You didn't bring a lunch, you'd rather starve than have problems at work with... your bowels.
  1089. >Things were pretty much the same as yesterday, all the precise repetitive work helping Rarity fill orders and such, with the occasional moving of inventory.
  1090. >At the end of the day, you remembered that you'd need to be prepared for Monday's work with Applejack.
  1091. >How fortunate you started working on a Thursday.
  1092. "Excuse me, miss Rarity, I wish to ask something of you".
  1093. >"What is it Anon?"
  1094. "You see, coming this Monday, I am going to be starting my work with Applejack on her farm, and I don't have any clothes that I can do hard manual labor in. Would you happen to have any materials that you aren't using for me to make work clothes? You may take it out of my payment and I will make them myself".
  1095. >"Well, since you asked so politely, I'll see what I have".
  1096.  
  1097. >She managed to get you some old denim and cotton rolls, these were perfect for you.
  1098. >You really didn't know the first thing about making clothes from scratch, but it seems you wouldn't be alone on this endeavor.
  1099. >"Hold it right there, allow me to help you".
  1100. >She must have suspected that you didn't really know what you were doing.
  1101. >In the course of about a half hour, you had yourself two sets of clothes you could get dirty in.
  1102. >Not only that, you also learned the basics of making your own clothing.
  1103. "Thank you very much miss Rarity, I really appreciate it".
  1104. >"Ah, you're so polite..."
  1105. >Of course you were, you weren't a damned chav.
  1106. "I look forward to working with you next week".
  1107.  
  1108. >It was obvious that she still wasn't very trusting of you, she kept tabs on you while you were working to make sure you weren't stealing anything.
  1109. >At least you were starting to get on her good side.
  1110.  
  1111. >Tomorrow you would have to head on over to the Sugarcube corner, you wouldn't be starting your job there yet, you were just going to negotiate your scheduling and finalize it.
  1112. >After another brutal morning deuce (which you made sure to bury this time), you headed off, in your usual prim and proper attire that Rarity would admire.
  1113.  
  1114. >You got the usual dirty looks from the locals as you made your way over to the Sugarcube Corner.
  1115. >It didn't end when you made it there though, as soon as you entered all the patrons fell silent.
  1116. >Walking over to the counter, they continued to stare at you, either with anger or fear, probably both.
  1117. >Mr. and Mrs Cake, and Pinkie Pie were all waiting at the counter.
  1118. >"Oh, hello Mr. Anonymous, if you don't mind, would you mind coming with me into the kitchen?"
  1119. >You understood you were the elephant in the room, if that was the best way to describe it, here so getting out of sight of their customers made sense.
  1120. "I perfectly understand, Mr. Cake".
  1121. >You followed the pone into the kitchen and closed the door behind you.
  1122. >"Oh, and Pinkie, would you mind coming in with us too?"
  1123. >She obviously did mind judging by her gulping and hesitation.
  1124. >You weren't exactly sure why her presence was requested, but you noticed that she had her own throne that that palace outside the town, probably something to do with that.
  1125.  
  1126. >As soon as everyone requested was in place, the meeting began.
  1127. >"Now Anon, please understand that you're not going to be working for us every weekend..."
  1128. >You thought to yourself: "So I'll be making less money, bollocks!"
  1129. >At least you would get some weekends to yourself to relax.
  1130. >"We'll be asking for your help whenever it gets too busy for us alone, or if one of us isn't able to work on those days".
  1131. >Sounds pretty good, but how would they contact you if you were needed?
  1132. >They didn't seem to have telephone communication, even if they did, your cellphone was done for.
  1133. "How will you be getting in contact with me about that?"
  1134. >"We'll send Pinkie over to your house and have her leave a note on your door, that won't be a problem, will it Pinkie?"
  1135. >Again, it was, judging by her hesitation, but she still promised to do as he says.
  1136. >"Y....Y-yes Mr. Cake..."
  1137. >How were you going to convince her that you had no intentions on hurting her?
  1138. >That would be something you'd have to figure out at another time.
  1139. "I am content with these terms, shall I start today".
  1140. >"Well, that past few days have been pretty slow, so no, you have this weekend off".
  1141. "Very well, thank you very much once again for this employment opportunity".
  1142. >You turned to Pinkie and bowed slightly to her.
  1143.  
  1144. >It was going to be a couple of days before you started working for Applejack, so you decided to take it easy.
  1145. >There wasn't much you could do on your house at the moment, except try to get that pile of trash away from it.
  1146. >But when you got home, you got the idea to start yourself a little bonfire.
  1147.  
  1148. >You took some stones and made a little circle in front of the house where you were going to have your fire pit.
  1149. >You had no plans on burning everything at once, actually, you hadn't really assessed whether or not you were getting rid of everything in the pile.
  1150. >Once you start remodeling you might find something in the pile that might be useful to you, or you might find out that something WAS useful but you burnt it.
  1151. >But then again, you were just tired of looking at this pile of rubbish.
  1152. >You took a bunch of wooden objects out of the rubbish pile.
  1153. "Into the fire it goes!"
  1154. >After you had a sizable heap, you went into the nearby forest to pick up some tinder to start the fire.
  1155. >You took out your Zippo lighter and started it up.
  1156. >Thankfully for you, your smokes also came with you.
  1157. "Looks like its time for a fag".
  1158. >You don't really know why you started smoking in the first place, but given things in the UK, it was bound to get banned soon, so you thought, 'get your fill while you can, I guess'.
  1159. >Sure it was killing you, but you died before your time anyways, so...
  1160. >As the fire got going, you lit up your cigarette.
  1161. >You inhale, and let the mint flavored smoke caress the walls of your nostrils and pour out.
  1162. "Ah, lovely, no wonder the Negroes enjoyed smoking these".
  1163. >Negroes don't smoke menthols ,they smoke crack!
  1164. >That was a joke one of your friends made before, he got into some deep shit for that.
  1165. >Well, one shouldn't be making nig-nog jokes in school anyhow.
  1166. >You also had a bite to eat while you enjoyed the sight of the fire, you even found a nice little desert in the basket.
  1167. "Ah, bloody glorious, mushroom... I mean, marshmallows!"
  1168. >Damn slipping of the tongue.
  1169. >Anyways, you got yourself a stick, and started roasting.
  1170. >This would've been impossible to do in the UK without attracting a police constable.
  1171. >As you were having your little treat, Twilight was observing you from afar.
  1172.  
  1173. >She watched through a telescope on the balcony of her castle.
  1174. >Peering through the device, she was taking notes while she was at it.
  1175. >A few minutes later, Spike arrives.
  1176. >"Twilight, are you still spying on that guy?"
  1177. >"He's still not exhibiting any types of human behaviors..."
  1178. >"And by 'human', you mean being destructive, right?"
  1179. >Well, that's the only general behavior they ever saw in humans until they met you, so yeah...
  1180. >"Exactly, it seems he's making good on his promise to behave while living here".
  1181. >"Well, you remember what Applejack said, right?"
  1182. >That she did.
  1183. >"We shouldn't be letting our guard down, for all we know this could just be a really good act".
  1184. >She took that into consideration and went back to her telescope to resume her observation.
  1185.  
  1186. >You went back inside for a brief moment to get the blank book and pen you found earlier, you figured now was the time to start keeping a journal.
  1187.  
  1188. >Getting yourself comfortable in front of the fire, you began writing.
  1189.  
  1190. Dearest diary,
  1191.  
  1192. September 30th of 2014 saw the day of my demise at the hands of a plumber I hired, damned Pollack, it's rather unfortunate since they were one of the few migrants I actually liked. I always pictured a violent death being bestowed upon me by a Pakistani, but anyways, it is apparent that I have died and the afterlife appears to be a world populated by these adorable, magical, equine beings. Seems rather pleasant at first glance, but it seems that these creatures are more xenophobic and judgmental than people have ever claimed me to be.
  1193. I think I might have a theory of why this may be the case, it would seem that I wasn't the first to arrive here, judging by the Cyrillic text that's been spray painted all over this over sized shack they called a home. Perhaps whoever was here first provided a rather poor representation of what humans are like, they may have been received with open arms and acted like complete lunatics, meanwhile, I get the crap end of this stick and I'm shunned, despite my being polite at all times (either that, or the stereotype that Brits are ill-behaved tourists seems to have followed me here).
  1194. Nonetheless, in true British Imperial tradition, I shall survive here, no, I will prosper here! I will show the locals that I am no savage, that I am a proper human being, Come hell or high water!
  1195.  
  1196. >Shortly after this, you put out the fire and went to bed.
  1197. >You slept all the next day, you would be well rested when you began working for Applejack on her farm.
  1198.  
  1199. >Monday morning came around, and having gotten well over twenty hours of sleep, you were well prepared for the hard labor ahead of you.
  1200. >Arriving early, as always, you saw Applejack and what you assumed was her brother already starting their work.
  1201. >Of course they would be, this is common of anyone that works in farming.
  1202. "Top of the morning to you, miss Applejack!"
  1203. >"Ah, good, yah made it, I was thinkin' maybe a chubby thing like you wouldn't be up to this kinda work..."
  1204. >It seemed she was about to say something else, but she stopped to take a closer look at you.
  1205. >"Well, you were pretty chubby when ah last saw ya, slimmin' down already?"
  1206. >You were afraid of eating most of the stuff they gave you in that gift basket, even when you ate it you shit your organs out.
  1207. "I guess it had something to do with the food you sent me, heh..."
  1208. >Shortly after she gave you a grand tour of Sweet Apple Acres, which took a little less than an hour.
  1209. "I must say this is quite the impressive farm you have here, what will be my job here?"
  1210. >"You've arrived just in time for the harvest season, you're going to be helpin' me and Big Macintosh buck apples in the orchard.
  1211. "Buck?"
  1212. >"Lemme show ya how it's done".
  1213. >She goes over to the tree, gives it a good kick, and all the apples on it fall into the baskets at the bottom.
  1214. "Fine form..."
  1215. >"Now you try on that tree over there".
  1216. "Well, my legs are not that good for kicking, but I'll give it a shot."
  1217. >You gave yourself a running start, jumped into the air and struck the tree.
  1218. >All that happened was you bouncing off the tree and falling ass first into one of the baskets.
  1219. >The tree seemed to want to reward your effort by letting one apple fall onto your head.
  1220. >Applejack was having herself a good laugh at this embarrassing moment of yours.
  1221.  
  1222. >It took her a little while for her laughing to subside.
  1223. >"Hold on a moment, I think you'll need to use this..."
  1224. >She went inside the barn and picked up a sledgehammer for you.
  1225. >"Now give it a try".
  1226. >Firmly grasping it, you prepared to give a good swing at the apple tree that seemed to be mocking you.
  1227. >You weren't exactly in peak physical condition and you were never that strong by any standards, but you gave it a go anyways.
  1228. >You gave it a good whack, but alas, only a few apples fell.
  1229. >It took a few hits before you could get all of them from the tree.
  1230. >Applejack was giggling a little bit, you obviously couldn't compare to the Polish worker she had two years ago.
  1231. >You were a white collar worker, this was asking a bit much from you.
  1232. "Miss Applejack, I know these are your trees, but don't you think that this is bad for them?"
  1233. >"Believe me, these trees are bred to be strong, but it looks like it's not very good for you".
  1234. >She had a point there, you were already exhausted.
  1235. "Perhaps I would be able to harvest these much quicker if I were to climb the tree and rustle them off the branches".
  1236. >"Alright then, do what ya gotta do, as long as these apples get picked while they're still fresh".
  1237. >Climbing the trees got exhausting very quickly, but you still continued on for the next four hours until Applejack called for you.
  1238. >"You can take a break, Anon, we're serving lunch".
  1239. >You could only hope that they weren't serving something that would give you diarrhea.
  1240. >You brought your pack of Lucky Strikes with you, you could use a smoke right about now.
  1241. >As much as you'd like to think the nicotine didn't get to you and that you weren't addicted, you were addicted.
  1242. >How did you know that? Because it seemed to satisfy your hunger.
  1243. "Blimey, I hope I can get more fags here".
  1244.  
  1245. >After that one hour break, you trudged on for the next few hours climbing trees and rustling the apples off of them.
  1246. >If that wasn't hard enough already, Applejack's little sister had to give you a hard time by shooting rocks at your ass with a slingshot.
  1247. >And of course, she would continue the jokes her friend Sweetie Belle started about your big fat rumpus.
  1248. >"Applebloom! You stop that!"
  1249. "My word, is she always like this when you get new people working for you?"
  1250. >"Nah, just the ones who're s'posed to be wearin' clothes but decided to go skinny dippin'".
  1251. "Oh my God, will I ever hear the end of this?"
  1252. >The work didn't get any easier for the next two days.
  1253. >With the hard manual labor you were doing, coupled with the fact that your eating had been significantly reduced, you were losing weight pretty quickly.
  1254.  
  1255. >Finally, Friday came around and you saw your first ever payment for your work with Rarity.
  1256. >At last, you could afford a meal that didn't make you shit blood.
  1257. >Not only that, you could afford to start doing some more substantial renovations on your home.
  1258. >It was, after all, cleaned up and ready for that kind of work.
  1259. >First thing you decided to buy in beautifying your house was paint.
  1260. >That was all you could afford for the moment, all you needed was time this weekend to get working on it.
  1261. >Unfortunately, you would be needed at the Sugarcube corner for that time, judging by the note that was left at your doorstep.
  1262.  
  1263. >You showed up at the time requested and spoke to the Cakes about what you would be doing.
  1264. >"You can start by washing the windows, then later we'll be getting a few shipments of supplies..."
  1265. >Couldn't be that much, after all, this wasn't a very big establishment.
  1266. >Boy how you wished you were right.
  1267. >After that first task, you were then presented with cart after cart of all the various things the little bakery would need for the day.
  1268. >Flour, eggs, various fruits (which included some of the apples that you helped pick at Applejack's orchard), sugar, and all that other good shite.
  1269. >Didn't you have to let apples age a little bit before you used them in cooking, or were you crazy?
  1270. >Ah well, it's their shop, what did you care.
  1271. >After that two hours of backbreaking labor, you sat down at the back of the building and had yourself a smoke.
  1272. >You peered into a nearby window and looked inside the kitchen where Pinkie Pie was working frantically as if she were a short order cook.
  1273. >You got up to look around at the front of the building and there was a fairly long lineup, seems they were in the middle of a rush.
  1274. >Finishing up your short break, you discarded the butt of your cigarette and headed inside to help Pinkie.
  1275. "Excuse me, miss Pie, but are you in need of assistance?"
  1276. >One look at you and she let out a little scream.
  1277. >"Nonononononnonono! It's okay, I can handle this myself!"
  1278. >Well, in your presence she began working faster, although she became a bit clumsier.
  1279. >A few seconds later she tripped on one of her own hooves and fell flat on her face.
  1280. >Rushing over to help her up, she dashed onto her feet and continued to exclaim that she didn't need your help.
  1281. "Pinkie, look at what's happening, you need some help!"
  1282. >Mr. Cake called out for another order to be filled.
  1283. >"Okayokay, fine, you can help, just don't hurt me!"
  1284. "I didn't plan on it, just lemme wash me hands and I'll get right with you".
  1285.  
  1286. >Good lord, who the hell abused this little puppy?
  1287. >She turned into a scared, nervous little wreck whenever you were around.
  1288. >Nonetheless, she still worked diligently making the various pastries to fill all the orders.
  1289. >It wasn't the backbreaking labor that you did for Applejack, but it was still just as exhausting.
  1290. >After about an hour, the rush ended, and you and Pinkie Pie could both take a much needed break.
  1291. >A few hours later, the shop was closing, and you were asked to bus tables and wash the floors.
  1292. >It appeared that pones could be just as wasteful as western people like yourself.
  1293. "Feck, did someone vomit on the floor or just regurgitate their food?"
  1294. >Yep, just as bad as any other restaurant place back home.
  1295.  
  1296. >At the end of the day they paid you immediately.
  1297. >They did this because of the nature of the scheduling, since you weren't going to work every weekend you couldn't wait for the next week reliably.
  1298. >Seems they made a good shekel today.
  1299. "Same time tomorrow?"
  1300. >"Actually, we don't think you'll be needed then, but if you are I'll send Pinkie to tell you".
  1301. >Fantastic, you might be able to do some renovations yet!
  1302. >On the way home, you were getting a little agitated without nicotine in your system.
  1303. >You lit up another fag and continued on.
  1304. >It was then you noticed that you were almost halfway through your faggot of fags.
  1305. >This was starting to worry you now.
  1306.  
  1307. >You managed to get to a nearby hardware shop to pick up some more supplies before it closed.
  1308. >You also found you could afford some furniture, but you would have to wait for tomorrow to buy it since you couldn't carry that now.
  1309. >When you got home, you set all that stuff aside and made yourself dinner.
  1310. >You fixed yourself a hot cup of tea while you were at it, something you've been needing badly for the past couple of weeks.
  1311. >After that, you went to sleep for the night, you had a lot of work ahead of you tomorrow.
  1312.  
  1313. >You woke up with a skip in your step that Sunday morning, ready to transform this shack into something worthy of a nobleman.
  1314. >By noon you had already applied a nice shade of red paint onto the front of your home, but you would need to buy more to get the rest.
  1315. >No matter, you wanted to get some interior work done anyhow.
  1316. >You went into town to buy the furnishings you wanted yesterday.
  1317. >Having to do it quickly, you knew the townspeople still didn't like you very much so you didn't want to stay there too long.
  1318. >A table (that was actually in good shape), and a couple of chairs, all disassembled, was what you hauled back.
  1319. >The backbreaking journey you made ended in a rather unpleasant surprise.
  1320. >All the paint you had applied earlier seemed to have been washed off.
  1321. >Earlier you heard something that sounded like a thunderstorm coming from this direction, perhaps it was a minor sun shower, a squall of rain if you will.
  1322. >Seemed rather suspicious that it came right over your house and no where else.
  1323. >Oh well, you could still do some interior work.
  1324.  
  1325. >Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was hiding behind a cloud, laughing at your confusion.
  1326.  
  1327. >You continued on your usual routine, working for Applejack, then Rarity, then once again for Pinkie Pie.
  1328. >For the past two weeks, you made improvements to your home whenever you could, it now looked pretty decent.
  1329. >Well, the inside did anyways, whenever you tried to paint the exterior it got rainy.
  1330. >EVERY TIME you painted, it would rain afterwards.
  1331. >Something was going on here.
  1332. >It was also around this time you ran out of cigarettes.
  1333. >Two days without a smoke and you were already experiencing the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal.
  1334. >And boy were you pissed today.
  1335. >It was also this day that Rainbow Dash decided to stop by and mock you on your home improvement dilemma, just what you needed.
  1336. >"Hey Anon, looks like you missed a couple of spots!"
  1337. "Why thank you miss Dash, I don't think I would've caught that by meself".
  1338. >"Something wrong, Anon, the sight of such an awesome pone like me makin' you go blind?"
  1339. >You were rubbing your eyes from a bad headache you were having, why the hell did you ever start smoking?
  1340. >Oh, right, they threatened to ban it, then you just had to have it.
  1341. >Fecking psychology.
  1342. "You wouldn't happen to 'ave a fag to spare, would you?"
  1343. >After you said that, something seemed to go off in the Rainbow pegasus' head.
  1344. >"What'd you call me?"
  1345. "Whot?"
  1346. >She flew forward and gave you a good strike in your belly, knocking you to the ground.
  1347. >You got back up onto your feet.
  1348. "What in the hell was that about?"
  1349. >"Nobody calls me a fag!"
  1350. >She punches you in the mouth with her hoof and you fall to the ground again.
  1351. >Normally you wouldn't fight back, but this time, with you not having a smoke in a while, you weren't having it.
  1352. "If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get!"
  1353.  
  1354. >Now you were going full chav.
  1355. >You tried to pounce on Rainbow Dash but she flew away just in the nick of time.
  1356. "Where in the hell is that bloody pooftah!"
  1357. >And for whatever reason you turned Australian when you were angry.
  1358. >It was then it started raining.
  1359. "What the fock!"
  1360. >Looking up, it was Rainbow Dash jumping on a cloud.
  1361. "U fockin' wot m8? It was you smudgin' me paint?"
  1362. >"Looks like you're not nearly as dumb as you look, and you look pretty dumb... and ugly!"
  1363. >She continued to laugh.
  1364. >Adrenaline was rushing through your body you were so pissed, the money she cost you trying to paint this damn place.
  1365. >You were now in the middle of blind rage.
  1366. >You picked up a nearby stone and chucked it at her with the force of a thousand furious niggers, hitting her right between the eyes.
  1367. >"OW, FUUUUUUUUU....."
  1368. >Great shot, you knocked her right off her nimbus.
  1369. >A loud thud could be heard when she hit the ground.
  1370. "Tagged ya! Ye peacock haired floying cunt!"
  1371. >You stomped off back into your house and slammed the door behind you.
  1372. >Oh, but Dashie wasn't done with you yet.
  1373.  
  1374. >Next thing you knew, the door flew off its hinges and onto you, with Rainbow Dash trying to crush you with it.
  1375. >She jumped and jumped, pounced and pounced, until you rolled over and pushed the door off you.
  1376. >She pounced on you once more, grabbing your shirt and punching your face in.
  1377. >How did she grab your shirt with her hoof? Apparently ponies have great dexterity, unlike the horses from your world.
  1378. >You kicked her right off you so hard she slammed into the ceiling.
  1379. "Bugger off already!"
  1380. >"NOT BEFORE I KICK YOUR ASS!"
  1381. >Oh God, what can of worms have you opened up here?
  1382. >You grabbed a broom to try to defend yourself with.
  1383. "For someone who's straight, you're awfully self conscious 'bout your sexual likings 'eh, floyin' pride flag?"
  1384. >Oh, that was a big mistake.
  1385. >She charged at you like a raging bull with wings, bumping you halfway through your house.
  1386. >You managed to fall onto your face, upon getting up, you noticed four little cyan legs wrapping their selves around your body.
  1387. >She had a hold of your lower torso and your neck, she then flew up and lifted you off the ground.
  1388. "Unhand me you little..."
  1389. >Unable to finish your sentence, she choked you and starting crushing your body.
  1390. >Good God was she strong.
  1391. >"I'd be doing everypone a favor in killing you, but I'm kinda enjoying making you my bitch!"
  1392. >Oh God, was she getting off to this?"
  1393. >She then dived down, with you at the bottom, and slammed you onto your table, smashing it to pieces.
  1394. >Flying back up, she flew you head first into one of your windows, shattering it in the process.
  1395. "AAAAAAHHHHH, help, HELP! Please, I give! No more, please!"
  1396. >Seemed she heeded your plea for mercy, so she tossed you onto your new couch like a rag doll.
  1397. >Panting from the beating you just received, Rainbow Dash trotted back over to you.
  1398.  
  1399. >"Lemme show you how straight I really am..."
  1400. >She proceeded to jump on top of you and dig into your pants.
  1401. "What're you, OH DEAR GOD, OWOWOWOWOWOW!"
  1402. >Fucking horse grip.
  1403. "Please, I beg of you, don't do this to me, AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
  1404. >She shoved her hoof into your mouth before you could cry for help.
  1405. >"Shut up you little faggot, you're enjoying this, don't deny it, fag. Don't you feel it getting hard?"
  1406. >You were most certainly not enjoying getting raped!
  1407. >It felt like she was going to rip off your cock or crush it.
  1408. "Please, all I wanted was a cigarette!"
  1409. >"A what now?"
  1410. >She let go of your phallus and hopped off you and back onto the floor.
  1411. "A cigarette, in my country we call them fags..."
  1412. >"OOOOOOOHHHH, you smoke..."
  1413. "Yes, and because I haven't had one in a few days I've been very irritated and anxious, it's killing me!"
  1414. >"Oh, so this was all just..."
  1415. "A big misunderstanding, yeah, that's exactly what this was you mong!"
  1416. >The little Rainbow bitch continued to chuckle.
  1417. >"Ah well, I still had fun kicking your shit in..."
  1418. >She took a look down at her hoof, it was covered in blood and semen.
  1419. >"Looks like you had fun too..."
  1420. >And like a bitch, she rubbed it off her hoof onto your shirt like you were a hand towel.
  1421. >"See ya, chubby!"
  1422. >And just like that, she flew off.
  1423. "One of these days, you little cunt, ONE OF THESE DAYS!"
  1424. >With that last little bit of empty bravado, you collapsed to the floor, and wept...
  1425. >What had you done in your last life to land you in this technicolor Hell?
  1426. >It would take about a week to fully recover from your wounds, you couldn't take up any legal action since you had no one you could trust in this world.
  1427. >Even if Twilight knew about this, the most she would probably give to Rainbow would be a stern warning.
  1428.  
  1429. >After a trip to the hospital and a fairly hefty medical bill (no socialized medicine here for you, commie!), you were prepared for work the next day.
  1430. >Granted, you were still sore as all hell.
  1431. >You didn't tell anyone that Rainbow Dash beat you up, everyone would probably say you brought it upon yourself.
  1432. >Hell, they might accuse you of rape, gather in an angry mob, and lynch you.
  1433. >Good God, is this what it's like to be a nigger?
  1434. >Or, worse yet, was this what it's like living in a feminist paradise?
  1435. >Seriously, what did you do in your past life to deserve this?
  1436. >It wasn't all that bad, Twilight managed to find out about the incident and knew you weren't at fault, and her reaction was better than expected.
  1437. >You didn't know it at the time, but Twilight was spying on you through a telescope, and that little quarrel was what she managed to catch.
  1438. >One day a basket was left in front of your door with a note.
  1439.  
  1440. Greetings Anon,
  1441.  
  1442. As I am well aware of the events that unfolded with my friend, Rainbow Dash, I must say that that was unacceptable behavior from her. So because of this, I had her send you a little 'gift', to atone for her actions towards you.
  1443.  
  1444. If you are wondering why I even bothered to do this, well, I would just like to reward your progress, you are a civilized being and as far as I know, you aren't deserving of the treatment you've received.
  1445.  
  1446. Best of luck,
  1447.  
  1448. Twilight Sparkle
  1449.  
  1450. PS: You really should work on weaning yourself from this habit of yours, it's not good for you.
  1451.  
  1452. >You lifted up the cloth covering on the basket to reveal your gift.
  1453. >It was a bundle of cigars.
  1454. "Oh my God, I didn't they 'ad these here! God save Princess Twilight!"
  1455. >Despite this gift, you still weren't ready to completely forgive Dashie.
  1456. >"PS: You really should work on weaning yourself from this habit of yours..."
  1457. "Bugger that!"
  1458. >You smoked like a broken stove that evening.
  1459.  
  1460.  
  1461. >Lately, things seemed to be going pretty good for you.
  1462. >You finally finished up your little renovation project, despite the setbacks.
  1463. >Your home was now fit for a king, hell, you even managed to save enough money for some basic indoor plumbing.
  1464. >At the end of October, you got to celebrate your first Halloween with them.
  1465. >Scratch that, 'Nightmare Night'.
  1466. >That was the first of several holidays that they celebrated here like they did back at home.
  1467. >A popular costume this year was blackface.
  1468. "Christ almighty, these people have no shame. I think I like them!"
  1469. >You also heard a popular costume last year involved everyone wearing the face of a Slavic liberator as a mask.
  1470. >You still saw it from time to time while serving trick-or-treaters.
  1471. >You couldn't help but laugh at the thought of them encountering a Jew.
  1472. >Holy hell, imagine all the happy merchant masks and the trick or treaters asking for money.
  1473. >The best part of all this, the locals were beginning to accept you, but you still had a LONG ways to go.
  1474. >It was lovely getting to converse with other beings while not in a work or business setting.
  1475. >It was this night that you realized just how lonely you were.
  1476. >Taking a look at the bits you had saved up, you got an idea.
  1477. "I should get a pet, but where do I go to acquire one?"
  1478. >After a little bit of thinking, you remembered one pony that you hadn't really conversed all that much with.
  1479. "Ah, Fluttershy, I remember hearing of her being some sort of animal caretaker".
  1480. >She was pretty easy to overlook, what with her quiet demeanor and all.
  1481. >That, and the fact that she avoided you at any cost (almost as bad as Pinkie still does).
  1482. >The next time you had a break from work, you would head on over to Fluttershy's cottage.
  1483.  
  1484.  
  1485. >Grabbing a bag of horse shekels, you went on your way.
  1486. >You weren't really in much of a hurry for it was a beautiful autumn day.
  1487. >A little more than an hour, you found Fluttershy's place.
  1488.  
  1489. >Inside, Angel bunny had arrived to alert Fluttershy of your presence.
  1490. >"Oh no, not him, anyone but him!"
  1491. >Unfortunately for her, Discord wasn't around to ward him off.
  1492. >Where is he when you need him.
  1493. >Frantically, she was working to hide all her animals, thankfully most have either migrated elsewhere or were getting ready to go into hibernation.
  1494. >Well, the bear was still around, he wasn't ready to start hibernating yet, and trying to hide him would be a challenge.
  1495. >You went up to the door to knock.
  1496. "Is anybody at home?"
  1497. >You waited a few seconds and got no answer...
  1498. >Then you got an idea.
  1499. "What I said was, is anybody at home?"
  1500. >"Nu'.
  1501. >Fluttershy gasped and covered her mouth with her hoof, horrified that she uttered a word.
  1502. >She continued to try to hide her animal friends.
  1503. "Bother, isn't there anyone here at all?"
  1504. >"Nobody!"
  1505. "Somebody, because somebody must have said 'nobody'... Fluttershy isn't that you?"
  1506. >"No".
  1507. "Well isn't that Fluttershy's voice?"
  1508. >She reaches over to grab a nearby pot and speaks into it.
  1509. >"I don't think so, it isn't meant to be".
  1510. >It was then you stuck your head into the window.
  1511. >You weren't expecting it, but you managed to recreate that scene from Winnie the Pooh where he goes to Rabbit's house for lunch, pretty much flawlessly.
  1512. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apXJWlVVSAY
  1513. "My word, you played the part perfectly, love".
  1514. >After about five seconds of staring at you, she screamed and shoved the pot onto your head.
  1515. "Ahh, bloody hell!"
  1516. >You fell backwards onto your ass, and the back of your head slammed into a rock, shattering the pot in the process.
  1517. >Then you brushed the shards off your face.
  1518. "What in the hell was that for?"
  1519. >"Please, just go away!"
  1520. "All I want to do is buy a pet, I brought money!"
  1521.  
  1522. >"I don't want any of your dirty money!"
  1523. >Dirty money? You earned this through legitimate means.
  1524. >Or was the money dirty because you touched it?
  1525. "Please, for the love of all that is decent in this world, all I am looking for is a companion, do you have any idea what it's like to be isolated the way I am all the time?"
  1526. >Fluttershy was starting to feel bad now, although she still didn't budge.
  1527. "Miss Fluttershy, do you know what it's like not to have a friend in the world?"
  1528. >Still no answer, but Fluttershy was silently crying at this point.
  1529. >Even though she didn't like you, it still wasn't a reason to be unkind.
  1530. >Finally, you shook the bag of bits, that's when she opened the door, and sighed.
  1531. >Fuggen Flutterkike.
  1532. >Huehuehue
  1533. >"Alright then, but only one!"
  1534. "That's all I was planning on taking..."
  1535. >She called out the animals, letting them know its safe.
  1536. >Then you noticed the bear...
  1537. "HOLY FOCK!"
  1538. >The bear let out a scared little roar, and went back to hide.
  1539. "Oh God, you have a bear!"
  1540. >"I care for all animals".
  1541. "If you were so scared of me arriving, why didn't you just send him after me?"
  1542. >She went over to go hug and pet the big fuzzy beast.
  1543. >"Oh, well, he is very much a softie, plus he was, sort of... raped by..."
  1544. "Belorussians?"
  1545. >"I'm not sure if it was that kind of...Russian, but yes, one of them did it, but how would you have known?"
  1546. "Well, not many people would believe me when I said this, but I've actually been to Belarus, and I can assure you that they are incredibly tough people, just like the rest of the Slavic world, and they certainly know how to brutalize a bear".
  1547. >MeanwhileinBelarus.jpg
  1548. >After talking about your travels and using your British charm to get Flutters not to despise you, you began the process of choosing a pet.
  1549. >Decisions, decisions, descisions...
  1550.  
  1551.  
  1552. >Going around, all the available animals were lined up as if they were standing at attention.
  1553. >You had no idea that she could house so many creatures on this quaint little cottage.
  1554. >She must've had an entire national park here.
  1555. >Not only that, she had plenty of exotic creatures.
  1556. >With so much to choose from, you would spend about an hour trying to decide on a pet.
  1557. "I don't suppose I'd be able to take a pretty little thing like you home, now would I?"
  1558. >You were talking to Fluttershy, and the un-amused look on her face said either one of two things...
  1559. >"Do I look like a prostitute to you?"
  1560. >Or...
  1561. >"You don't have nearly enough bits to buy me..."
  1562. "Twas a bit of playful banter, a joke if you will..."
  1563. >Still not amused, she rolled her eyes at your corny joke.
  1564. >You thought about the little reference to Winnie the Pooh you made an hour ago, and decided that you wanted to adopt the bear.
  1565. >At first, the bear was very apprehensive about going home with you.
  1566. "Look, you don't have to come tonight, in fact, I'd be alright if you would live with me just part-time."
  1567. >The bear, still looking nervous, looked over to Fluttershy.
  1568. "We can negotiate this if you wish".
  1569. >And that is just what you did for the next half hour.
  1570. >Finally, everything was settled.
  1571. "Very well then, whenever he's ready you can bring him over to my house".
  1572. >"I suspect that you're a nice person, well, at least nicer than those... Russians..."
  1573. "Belorussians".
  1574. >"Right, but please, just promise that you won't do anything to hurt him".
  1575. "You have my word, miss Fluttershy".
  1576. >You looked over to your new fuzzy, soon-to-be friend.
  1577. "May I call you Winnie?"
  1578.  
  1579. >One week later, Fluttershy was at your door with Winnie.
  1580. "Glad you could make it!"
  1581. >"It took a lot of encouragement to get him here".
  1582. "Well, I hope this can get him to stay here, for a little while at least".
  1583. >You had taken the liberty of preparing a meal of fish and chips with honey and other treats for desert.
  1584. >You knew the bear was at least going to enjoy the fish and honey.
  1585. >"It's been a while since I've even seen this place, you've really made it livable".
  1586. "When your friend Twilight first gave it to me it was but a dilapidated old shack..."
  1587. >"It was always that way".
  1588. "Right, but anyways, I couldn't bear to live in this place in such a state, so I got to work on it once I got the money to do so..."
  1589. >This little conversation continued all through dinner.
  1590. >With making Fluttershy's acquaintance, it seemed with you were on good terms with most of the citizens in the community.
  1591. >Well, maybe not Rainbow Dash, but you'll figure a way to get even with her.
  1592.  
  1593. >The first couple of weeks with your new pet were rather troublesome, but soon enough he would come to see you more as a friend.
  1594. >Although, he doesn't always make things easy for you.
  1595. >House training him was a bit of a challenge.
  1596. >You would've thought that Fluttershy would've handled that ages ago.
  1597. "'Ey! Winnie, what the fock is this?"
  1598. >You don't know what possessed him to take a dump in front of your door, but you had to discipline him.
  1599. "I keep tellin' ye and tellin' ye, go in the bloody forest to do that!"
  1600. >Hearing his sad little growls let you know that he was genuinely ashamed of what he did.
  1601. "Come on now, I know you're better this, you're smarter than the average bear, now go get the shovel, let's get this out of here".
  1602.  
  1603. >Some time later, Winnie would soon prove his usefulness beyond companionship.
  1604.  
  1605. >One morning, you were rudely awakened by the sound of eggs and rocks being thrown at your house.
  1606. "What the hell?"
  1607. >"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS: HUMAN REMOVERS!"
  1608. >Looking out one of the front windows, you were startled to see an egg shattered right before your eyes.
  1609. >"Great shot! Too bad the window was closed!"
  1610. >It was Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and a bunch of other younglings gathered in your front yard.
  1611. "Whot the bloody feck is this?"
  1612. >"It's chubby cheeks!"
  1613. >Would they ever stop with that shit!
  1614. "Get off my bloody lawn, all of you!"
  1615. >"Get him!"
  1616. >As soon as Scootaloo called out that command you were pelted with a barrage of stones, eggs, and rotten fruits and vegetables.
  1617. "Please, make it stop!"
  1618. >You took a good hit from a rock right into your eye, and slipped on some rotten plant matter.
  1619. >Falling down, you were now at the mercy of these fillies.
  1620. >Winnie looked on as you were being bullied by these children, he knew he had to do something.
  1621. >Their attack was at an end when the bear came out, jumped over your body, and let out a loud roar.
  1622. >All the little fillies screamed.
  1623. >"AAAAAAHHHHH, BEAR, RUN AWAY!!!!"
  1624. >He ran forward a little to chase them away, then came back to you.
  1625. >"IT's GOING TO EAT HIM!"
  1626. >"BETTER HIM THAN US!"
  1627. >He grabbed you with his big arms and shook you, trying to get you to regain consciousness.
  1628. "Ughh, are they gone?"
  1629. >Winnie gave a little roar to assure you that they were.
  1630. "Thank you..."
  1631. >You fainted shortly after, and your ursine friend brought you over to your bed.
  1632. >Looks like you not only had a pet, but a body guard as well.
  1633.  
  1634. >The next day, Twilight had brought all the fillies that harassed you over to your house to issue an apology.
  1635. >Easier said than done, none of them wanted to get within twenty feet of your house knowing you had a bear.
  1636.  
  1637. >You eventually got to teaching Winnie proper etiquette.
  1638. >You fashioned him a small wardrobe, which included several red shirts, and a couple of dress shirts, bow ties, and blazers.
  1639. >Teaching him to walk upright was a bit of a challenge, but he was able to get it pretty quickly.
  1640. >Good thing to, it made getting him through town to get to Fluttershy's place much easier.
  1641.  
  1642. >Things have been looking up for you in the past few months.
  1643. >The locals seemed to have completely warmed up to you, not viewing you as some sort of boogeyman, or something or other.
  1644. >Even Pinkie Pie was no longer afraid of you...
  1645. >As a matter of fact, she let you know by throwing a 'the day I was no longer afraid of the human' party.
  1646. >All her friends were gathered for it, you were now even able to call them your friends as well.
  1647. >Even the blue and rainbow one that tore you a new arsehole, but you still held a secret grudge against her.
  1648. >You found this party to be a bit strange, but you liked it nonetheless.
  1649. >After the party, Twilight approached you.
  1650. >"Anon, can I have a word with you?"
  1651. "Certainly, your highness".
  1652. >"I told you before, there's no need to call me that, but anyways, I just wanted to say that I'm proud of the progress that you made".
  1653. "Why, thank you very much, Twilight".
  1654. >"In fact, I think you're ready to come with me to Canterlot, Princess Celestia would be glad to finally meet an upstanding example of your race".
  1655. "When do we leave?"
  1656. >"I don't know yet, I'll be sure to tell you when I find out".
  1657. >Everything was going smoothly over the next few weeks.
  1658. >That was until, She arrived.
  1659.  
  1660. >Just as suddenly and unexpectedly as those that arrived before you did, she appeared in Ponyville.
  1661. >Going into town that morning, you were wondering what all the commotion was about, what had captured everyone's curiosity?
  1662. >Finally, you saw her.
  1663. >A woman, very slender and petite, dressed in business attire.
  1664. >Very pretty by any standards.
  1665. >"Oh, herru, can you tell me where I am?"
  1666. >Judging by her accent and her face, she looked to be east Asian, most likely Japanese.
  1667. >Twilight had already come onto the scene to greet her.
  1668. >She gave her the whole introduction and such, and led her off to her castle.
  1669. >From the looks of things they seem to like her already, and she got a much warmer welcome than you did.
  1670. >They most likely never encountered a human female before.
  1671. >Finally, Rainbow Dash came along...
  1672. >"Hey, Mr. Sanders..."
  1673. "Excuse me?"
  1674. >"That is your name, right?"
  1675. >You had managed to forget the new name you gave yourself.
  1676. >You even had the name written out in gold letters above your front door, and you lived under it.
  1677. >After all, you didn't want to be just 'Anonymous' anymore.
  1678. "Yes yesyesyes, what is it Miss Dash?"
  1679. >"Is that a girl human?"
  1680. "Erm, yes?"
  1681. >She looked back and fourth to her, and a what seemed to be a photograph in her hoof.
  1682. >"You sure she's not some sort of super advanced alien or something?"
  1683. >What the hell was she going on about?
  1684. "No, she's human, what would make you say that?"
  1685. >"She looks way too pretty to be human".
  1686. "I beg your pardon?"
  1687. >"Hey, this picture Twilight got from some dude's 'girl' is the only view of human girls we ever got".
  1688. >Taking a look, you cringed almost immediately.
  1689.  
  1690. "Good God, did this man not have standards?"
  1691. >The picture in question was that of a fat, unpleasant looking black woman.
  1692. >"Apparently he didn't, so women don't look like this where you come from?"
  1693. "Heavens, no! Unless they were in really poor health..."
  1694. >"Hmm, yeah, I see, hmmm... You wouldn't think about doing anything to this little cutie, now would you?"
  1695. >Wot?
  1696. "What are you getting at?"
  1697. >"Just come with me, Twilight wants to see you."
  1698.  
  1699. >You followed her over to Twilight's castle, the newcomer was not yet aware of your existence yet.
  1700. >Twilight, the girl, and everyone else but you and Rainbow Dash was already upstairs.
  1701. >"Wait here a moment".
  1702.  
  1703. >Meanwhile, up the their throne room, they were in the middle of giving their formal greeting.
  1704. >Asking her where she's from, how she got here, and so on.
  1705. >She wasn't really willing to answer the question of how she got here.
  1706. >You got here by dying, so you could only assume that she did too.
  1707. >Considering that she was from Japan, it's very likely she committed suicide.
  1708. >But why would someone as beautiful as her do such a thing?
  1709. >That was something you felt you had to look into.
  1710. >"Oh, how rude of us, we haven't even asked you for you name, darling."
  1711. >"You may carr me missu Hatsune".
  1712. >Twilight came down to get you
  1713. >"Mr. Sanders, come on up".
  1714. >It appeared that they wanted you to meet the newcomer.
  1715.  
  1716. >"Mr. Sanders, as you may probably be aware of by now, we have a new citizen".
  1717. >They're already referring to her as a 'citizen'?
  1718. >What was this, Sweden?
  1719. >Why wasn't it so easy for you when you arrived?
  1720. >As soon as you got a better look at her, you understood why.
  1721. >Good lord, from a distance you could definitely tell she was pretty, but up close she was absolutely stunning!
  1722. >She waved at you in a very timid yet friendly way, it was adorable to say the least.
  1723. >You raised your hand slowly to wave, but Rainbow Dash stomped on your foot as if to say 'NO!'.
  1724. >"Now, we need to find you a place to stay".
  1725. "I would be glad to offer...."
  1726. >"She may stay with me for the night! Oh, I must get to work making you a wardrobe!"
  1727. >You had plenty of room to accommodate her in your big empty house, but whatever...
  1728. >The only occupants of house at this point were you and Winnie (even then, he didn't stay there permanently).
  1729.  
  1730. >Rarity practically fell in love with the woman and rushed her over to her house.
  1731. >On your way out, you were approached by Rainbow Dash.
  1732. >"Hey, Sanders!"
  1733. "Yes, Rainbow, what is it?"
  1734. >She grabbed you by the shirt to threaten you.
  1735. "Wha... what are you doing?"
  1736. >"Here's what I was getting at earlier: If you do anything to hurt her, I'm going to kill you with my own bare hooves!"
  1737. >Those memories of the first time she beaten and raped you came back to haunt you, like the brutal flashbacks of a Vietnam war veteran.
  1738. >Your genitals literally retreated into your body.
  1739. "Please, PLEASE, I promise not to hurt her, just don't hurt me!"
  1740. >"Glad you understand..."
  1741. >She dropped you, you didn't realize that she was flying up in the air while she was holding you.
  1742. >As everyone went their own separate ways, you went on home.
  1743.  
  1744. >Along the way home, you kept cursing to yourself on how you kept letting that little Rainbow bitch kept bullying you.
  1745. >You kept thinking to yourself, 'Seriously, how is that little rainbow maned horse able to bully me into submission constantly?'.
  1746. >It was really embarrassing when you thought about it.
  1747. >Even though you were in much better shape since you arrived, you were nowhere near the right condition to be able to attempt to fight her.
  1748. >But, she would be brought to heel eventually, and from a rather unexpected source at that.
  1749.  
  1750. >You went about you business as usual for the next few weeks.
  1751. >It seemed that everyone made a concentrated effort to keep you away from the new person in town.
  1752. >From what you reckoned, the last time they had humans here they got brutes, and because of the example they set (which was likely sexually assaulting the locals) they suspected that you would likely do the same to this dainty woman.
  1753. >They kept at it, even though it was implied that she wanted to have some sort of contact with you, but they didn't take heed.
  1754. >She hadn't explicitly expressed it yet, but it seemed she had taken a liking to you.
  1755. >You had to admit that you liked her as well, although it felt a bit strange since neither of you knew one another.
  1756.  
  1757. >You spoke about this to Winnie one night over a pint of your own home brewed ale.
  1758. "I don't know what to do here, it feels a bit like Romeo and Juliet where the two lovers are forbidden from seeing each other..."
  1759. >Obviously the bear wasn't familiar with Shakespeare's works, but he understood the situation.
  1760. "Do you know what it's like to be assumed a brute?"
  1761. >Winnie shot you a look that said 'do you know who the hell you're talking to?"
  1762. "Oh, right..."
  1763.  
  1764. >You went on over to the Sugarcube corner one weekend, even though your assistance wasn't specifically requested.
  1765. >You thought you should go over to see if they needed help anyways.
  1766. >Upon arriving you see that it was closed off for a private event.
  1767. "What could be going on here?"
  1768. >It looked like they were hosting a private party for the new resident.
  1769. >You knocked on the door.
  1770. "Hello, I know that my assistance wasn't requested today, but I took the liberty of checking in to see of you needed help anyways..."
  1771. >"Nope, sorry! Can't come in without an invitation! Goodbye!"
  1772. "Well, I do have a welcoming gift at home, if you can just let me get it..."
  1773. >She then proceeded to slam the door on you before you could finish your sentence.
  1774. "Very well then, perhaps I'll come around later to..."
  1775. >It was then that Rainbow Dash showed her face in the window, staring you down with death in her eyes.
  1776. >Oh God...
  1777. "Okay, okay, I'm going!"
  1778. >With your tail between your legs, you walked off.
  1779. >You decided to head on back home.
  1780. >Along the way you grumbled and cursed under your breath...
  1781. "Fockin' cunts, takin' me for some brute even though I've been so well behaved, this skank comes along and they fall in love with her immediately... This is fockin' misandry, that's whot this is..."
  1782. >Turning around to wave your fist, you shouted...
  1783. "If I 'ad meself a fedora I'd be tippin' it roight about now!"
  1784. >Right after you said that, you felt something land gently onto your head.
  1785. "What the hell?"
  1786. >You looked on up, it was Derpy in her mailmare's uniform.
  1787. >She had placed one of those hats onto your head.
  1788. "Smartass..."
  1789. >Derpy couldn't help but giggle and blush, it's not often that someone describes her as 'smart'.
  1790. >"I was going to go to your house to deliver it, but since I found you here... Well, goodbye!"
  1791. >Who the hell could've sent this?
  1792. >Taking it off your head and looking inside, you found it was from miss Hatsune.
  1793. "Who would've figured a girl actually liking to see a man in this?"
  1794. >Even though you really didn't like this style of headware (and you were kidding about the whole fedora tipping joke), you decided to keep it since it was a nice gesture.
  1795.  
  1796.  
  1797. >One day, you overheard a conversation between Hatsune and Rainbow.
  1798. >Although it was rude of you, you decided to eaves drop a little bit.
  1799. >You overheard that the woman practiced martial arts as a hobby.
  1800. >"Really? So do I! We've gotta spar sometime!"
  1801. "Oh good God, she'll kill her!"
  1802. >"We can havu round now, if you wishu".
  1803. >Rainbow Dash was getting really excited.
  1804. >"Alright! You look pretty cool, but I'm gonna start out easy on ya".
  1805. >You followed them out to the middle of an open field, not too far away from your house.
  1806. >As much as you didn't want to see the first human female to come here get pummeled, you had a morbid curiosity of how things were going to unfold.
  1807. >You hid in a nearby bush to watch the fight.
  1808. >Rainbow Dash was in the middle of a warm up exercise, while the girl seemed to be meditating.
  1809. >"Alright, I'm ready when you are!"
  1810. >Hatsune got up, and turned towards Rainbow.
  1811. >"レディー!"
  1812. >They stood about five meters away from each other, they bowed down to one another, and took up fighting stances.
  1813. >"Alright, counting down!"
  1814. >3
  1815. >2
  1816. >1
  1817. >FIGHT!
  1818. >You didn't want to watch, but you really couldn't help it.
  1819. >Damn (near) train wreck effect.
  1820. >But, to your surprise, she was holding her own.
  1821. "My lord...."
  1822. >Rainbow Dash was already on the offensive, throwing punch after punch, kick after kick, going so fast that all you saw was a bright blue blur between her and Hatsune.
  1823. >Amazingly, each one of these strikes was being blocked.
  1824. >Though you weren't very optimistic about her prospects of beating the pegasus, you were rooting for her.
  1825. >You wanted nothing more than for her to do to Rainbow Dash what she did to you.
  1826. "Come on, kick her arse!"
  1827.  
  1828. >Hatsune plants a punch into Rainbow's belly, and another into her nose, and pushes her back a bit.
  1829. >Getting re-focused, you could see that Rainbow Dash was visibly surprised by her adversary's fighting ability.
  1830. >The girl bowed down and smiled.
  1831. >"So you're pretty good, guess I don't have to go too easy on you".
  1832. >How 'not easy', was she going to go on her?
  1833. >Rainbow charged forward, jumped and performed a jump kick towards the girl's face, but it was dodged and she missed completely.
  1834. >As the pegasus was mid-air, the girl delivered an upwards punch straight into her belly, propelling her a few feet higher.
  1835. >Flapping her wings, she rubbed her belly for a moment, then turned her attention back to her opponent.
  1836. >Hatsune looked up, smiled and waved at Dashie.
  1837. >Rainbow was now visibly flustered.
  1838. >Seeing her get angry that she was getting beat was so satisfying to you that you could've gotten off to it.
  1839. "YES!"
  1840. >Letting out a grunt, she then charges back down to meet her adversary back at the surface.
  1841. >"Alright, now you're gonna get it!"
  1842. >It seemed she was getting even angrier, judging by how her fighting style was getting sloppier and more erratic.
  1843. >Miss Hatsune, however, remained graceful.
  1844. >Finally, Rainbow Dash flew up, pretty high actually.
  1845. "What the hell is she doing?"
  1846. >Right after you said that, she descended, and was closing in fast on where the girl was standing.
  1847. >She was going to try to smash her.
  1848. "Is she out of her mind!"
  1849. >Even as she rushed ever closer, the Japanese girl remained calm, seeming to be waiting for her to touch down.
  1850. "I can't watch this!"
  1851.  
  1852. >For the Japanese girl, time seemed to slow down.
  1853. >She just stood there as Rainbow Dash rushed closer and closer to her, ready to smash her into the ground.
  1854. >"YOU'RE MINE!"
  1855. >Now approaching 100m away, Hatsune, still standing, had this to say...
  1856. >"今日はしない (not today)..."
  1857. >It was then when she performed a frontflip, kicking Rainbow in the face, less than a meter before she struck the ground, and deflected her like a pinball.
  1858. >Unfortunately for you, she kicked her into your direction.
  1859. >Opening your eyes, you had no time to react to what was rushing toward you.
  1860. "JESUS CHIRST!!!"
  1861. >Her face slammed into yours, knocking you out of the bush and onto your arse.
  1862. >The next thing you saw was Dashie's face against yours.
  1863. "Oh bother..."
  1864. >"You little creeper!"
  1865. >As she lifted her hoof up to plant it into your face, you let out a girlish scream.
  1866. >You closed your eyes tightly, anticipating that your face was going to get smashed in.
  1867. >She was the bangers and you were about to become the mash.
  1868. >But, the killing blow never came, in fact, a big weight was lifted off your chest.
  1869. >Opening your eyes again, you got up and took a look around.
  1870. >What you saw next, was Rainbow Dash, being squeezed and choked by miss Hatsune.
  1871. >She seemed to be petting and cudding her as she did so.
  1872. >"Will you prease pray nice with our friend?".
  1873. >Trying to answer, all Rainbow could respond with was cackling.
  1874. >"Oh, I'm sorry..."
  1875. >She loosened her grip, allowing Rainbow to speak.
  1876. >"Okay, okay, you win! I won't hurt him!"
  1877. >"Good girr".
  1878.  
  1879.  
  1880. >She let her, go, and as she did, Rainbow collapsed onto the ground.
  1881. >Rainbow Dash put her face into her hooves, seemed as if she was crying.
  1882.  
  1883. >The Japanese girl walked over to you, and offered you her hand to help you back onto your feet.
  1884. "My word, that was amazing! Can you teach me to do that?"
  1885. >She let out an adorable little chuckle, but as you just witnessed, her adorableness shouldn't make you underestimate her.
  1886. >"If you wishu..."
  1887. >You both then took a look over to Rainbow Dash, who was nursing her wounds and silently weeping to herself.
  1888. >Anyone would be able to tell that she wasn't the kind of being that would accept defeat easily, the fact that she lost this fight was probably hurting her more than the wounds she got from it.
  1889. "If you have somewhere to be, I'll see that she gets to the hospital".
  1890. >"Oh, thank you, I nee to meet Twirightu soon".
  1891. "Be on your way then".
  1892. >She gave you a friendly little smile, then ran off back into town.
  1893. >You turned over to Rainbow Dash, who was now balled up and had gone into a shrink.
  1894. >As reluctant as you were to help someone who had beaten and molested you, you decided to show some kindness anyways.
  1895. "Miss Dash, are you alright?"
  1896. >"Piss off!"
  1897. >You wanted to say, 'foine, be that way, 'ave fun crawling to the hospital, ya cunt', but you bit your tongue and continued to to offer help.
  1898. "Can you walk?"
  1899. >She got up, she was able to walk on her own, albeit with a limp.
  1900. >"Nnnngh, yea, I think..."
  1901. "Looks like you're having trouble, need me to help?"
  1902. >She trudged on for a moment, then collapsed".
  1903. >Letting out a sigh, she admitted that she did indeed need help.
  1904. "Come on, allow me to carry you to the hospital".
  1905.  
  1906. >When you arrived with the hurting pegasus, the staff immediately demanded to know how this happened to her.
  1907. >"Did you do this?"
  1908. "I can assure you that I did not..."
  1909. >Looks like they were getting ready to press charges on you.
  1910. >Rainbow then interjected.
  1911. >"No, don't worry, it's not his fault, it's mine".
  1912. >You can only hope they wouldn't tell a victim to just shut up...
  1913. >"Well how did you get like this?"
  1914. >Was Hatsune going to get in trouble for this?
  1915. >"Well, you know what they say, don't fly under the influence, hehe..."
  1916. >Were they going to buy that?
  1917. >"Very well, but let this be a lesson to you..."
  1918. >Oh my God, they did.
  1919.  
  1920. >Later that week, Rainbow came around to pay you a visit at your house.
  1921. "Miss Dash, whatever are you doing here?"
  1922. >"I just came to say that I'm sorry..."
  1923. "What for?"
  1924. >"You've been nothing but nice ever since you came here, and I've done nothing but bully you..."
  1925. >In your mind you were saying this:
  1926. "If causing property damage, calling me names, intimidating and threatening to beat me, actually beating me, and molesting me all count as bullying, then yes you have done just that".
  1927. >Schoolbullynotsotoughsincebeingmolested.jpg
  1928. >"You took the time to take me to the hospital after all that, and I just wanted to say thank you".
  1929. "Well, I couldn't find it in me to just leave you there".
  1930. >"I woudln't have blamed you if you did..."
  1931. >She put out her hoof.
  1932. >"Can you accept my apologies?"
  1933. >You pondered for a brief moment, then you gave her your hand and grabbed her hoof.
  1934. "Apology accepted, mate".
  1935. >"So, friends?"
  1936. >Acquaintances seemed to be more appropriate in this case, but what the hell.
  1937. "Friends".
  1938. >So from that day forward, she was no longer a cunt to you.
  1939. >Well, she still was sometimes, but usually in a playful manner.
  1940.  
  1941. >For the next couple of weeks, something seemed a bit off...
  1942. >Going about your duties, you couldn't help but notice that things seemed to have a bit of an... oriental look to them.
  1943. >A contemporary kind of oriental at that...
  1944. >The local craft store now had little figurines that resembled big headed miniature Japanese characters.
  1945. >One of them resembled you a little bit, and it was dressed in a little Union Jack suit.
  1946. "What the hell?"
  1947. >Elsewhere, little fillies were hard at work drawing rather crude anime-styled characters, again, looking like one of the only two humans living in town or the few that they've seen before.
  1948. >Good lord, it was like DeviantArt had come to this world in the form of a disease and was infecting the younglings.
  1949. >They were also trying to draw Kanji text, which looked like they ate paper with the Latin alphabet, then vomited it onto another piece of paper.
  1950. >In other words, it looked like written Welsh.
  1951. >You went over to the Sugarcube Corner, you had yourself a sweet tooth and wanted to get something.
  1952. >As you got near the door, you could hear laughter.
  1953. >It was your six pony friends, and miss Hatsune.
  1954. >Coming out of their mouths was some of the most ridiculous and broken sounding Japanese that you've ever heard.
  1955. >Looks like she's running a crash course on her language.
  1956. >Seems she's not your typical Jap, she doesn't seem to be xenophobic and she certainly seems to be happy to share her culture with the world.
  1957. >They had their selves a camera and it looks like they were getting ready for a group photo.
  1958. >"Okay, okay, everyone front of camera! Everyone スマイル!"
  1959. >As the camera was about to flash she went ahead and made a couple of peace signs with her hands.
  1960. >They continued on with their Japanese lesson.
  1961. >You turned around for a moment, and thought about the situation for a moment.
  1962. >The crappy art, their butchering of the language, their attempts at trying to act Japanese.
  1963. "Oh my god..."
  1964. >The entire town was turning into goddamned weeaboos.
  1965. >The worst part about it was, of all the fucking people to be enabling this behavior, a fucking Jap was teaching them this.
  1966. >You stood there, looked up, and made a 1000 mile stare in the direction of your house.
  1967. >After a few minutes, Twilight noticed you and came to the door.
  1968. >"Hey there Mr. Sanders, would you like to join us?"
  1969. >You continued to stare off into the distance, and simply walked off without acknowledging her.
  1970. >"Umm, Mr. Sanders?"
  1971. >You paid no mind to her, you were going to need a stiff drink to forget all this.
  1972. >Make that a few stiff drinks.
  1973.  
  1974. >Finally getting back home, Winnie was eagerly awaiting your arrival.
  1975. "You, to the bar, now..."
  1976. >Giving a nervous little growl, he obliged.
  1977. >You decided to build yourself a little mini bar for yourself some time ago, mostly stocked with home brewed stuff.
  1978. >He shuffled beneath the counter for a few moments and came up wearing the tuxedo you made for him.
  1979. >'Thank you, Rarity, for teaching me what you know', is what you thought to yourself, admiring the classy bartender bear.
  1980. "Triple shot of gin, if you please..."
  1981. >Winnie, once again, fearfully growled upon hearing your request.
  1982. "Now!"
  1983. >Working quickly, he prepared your drink.
  1984. >As he brought it over to you, you yanked it from his paw and downed it in one gulp.
  1985. >The bear looked on, astonished to see you gulp down that much hard liquor.
  1986. "Another..."
  1987. >By the end of the afternoon, you must have drank more than half that bottle.
  1988. "Oh, Winn-wi-Winneeee... the shite I've seen today... you seen it roight? It's some shite, innit?"
  1989. >He didn't know what the hell you were talking about, but he nodded and agreed anyways.
  1990. >He didn't want to be pissing you off now.
  1991. >God bless the gentle giant.
  1992. "Issall 'cause 'a that slant-eyed cunt, thas wot, fookin' chinky bitches".
  1993. >You got pretentiously agressive when you were drunk.
  1994. "I ougtta take a bayonet and skewer that cunt like me grand dad woulda, fookin' Japs, Hiroshima best day 'a me loife, thanks Yanks!"
  1995. >Of course, being the nutless little bitch that you were, you wouldn't dare try any of that.
  1996. >You wouldn't even have the sand to say these things in front of her, drunk, sober, or high.
  1997. >Besides, this little predicament in town wasn't worth lashing out like that.
  1998. "Where's me lager?"
  1999. >Grabbing the bottle of freshly brewed beer, you chugged it down, and passed out in the bathtub shortly after.
  2000.  
  2001. >The next day, you woke up, still fully clothed in the bathtub, with the worst hangover imaginable, and vomit across your chest.
  2002. "Ahh, piss..."
  2003. >Hobbling out of the bathroom, you took a look to your couch to find the bear asleep.
  2004. >The big beast resting in the fetal position, you thought about how badly you must have treated him last night.
  2005. >Okay, there's more than one way to interpret that sentence, but anyways...
  2006. >He woke up, you were the first thing he saw, and the poor old bloke covered his face with his paws he was so scared of you.
  2007. "Oh my, I'm so sorry Winnie..."
  2008. >He sadly growled to himself.
  2009. >Just then, you heard someone knock on your door.
  2010. >"Hello, Mr. Sanders, are you there?"
  2011. >Ah, cripe.
  2012. "Bloody hell, I can't let them see me like this! Quick, tell them I've fallen ill or something!"
  2013. >Winnie rushes over to the door while you went to go hide back in the bathroom.
  2014. "Let me know when they've gone!"
  2015. >Winnie answered the door to find Twilight and Hatsune there.
  2016. >"ホーリー·ファック!"
  2017. >Winnie, being the gentle oaf that he was, was more scared of her reaction than she was of him.
  2018. >"Woah, calm down! You have nothing to worry about, he's just Mr. Sander's pet".
  2019. >Within moments, they were able to face each other.
  2020. >"Excuse me, but is Mr. Sanders here? He was acting a bit strange yesterday and we came to see if he was alright".
  2021. >Amazing, they were actually concerned about your well-being, perhaps you could truly consider them friends after all.
  2022. >Winnie tried to tell them that you were sick today, but they didn't really seem to get the message.
  2023. >Evidently, they didn't speak bear.
  2024. >Meanwhile, as they were talking, you were trying to get yourself cleaned off.
  2025. >"Maybe we should come back later with Fluttershy, she'll be able to understand him, besides, he might not be feeling well today".
  2026. >Though she didn't understand the memo, she still got it.
  2027. >"Well, in the meantime, could you make sure this gets to him?"
  2028. >She hands him a note.
  2029. >The bear gives her a reassuring nod, then they go on their way.
  2030. >"Thank you".
  2031. >Shortly after they left, you came out of the bathroom, freshened up.
  2032. "Ahhh, thank you, Winnie. What's this?"
  2033. >You took the note out of his trimmed claw.
  2034. "It's from the girl, I wonder what she has to say".
  2035. >Hopefully she wasn't snooping around when you were saying all those hurtful things about her last night.
  2036.  
  2037. >You opened up the envelope to read the contents.
  2038.  
  2039. Hello Mr. Sanders,
  2040.  
  2041. I know that you've been here for quite a long time, much longer than I have. And I also know that you've had a difficult time adjusting to this place, and the fact that you didn't have a single friend to turn to for help for most of your time here must've made the situation absolutely terrible for you. I couldn't bear to be lonely like that.
  2042.  
  2043. >That, and the fact that you were hated by everyone for months also didn't help at all.
  2044.  
  2045. Your friends told me everything, and it just hurt me inside to know that was happening to you, and you seem like such a nice person.
  2046. Anyways, I was wondering if you would like to get together sometime, perhaps for lunch.
  2047.  
  2048. >Was she asking you out on a date?
  2049.  
  2050. I hope to hear back from you soon,
  2051.  
  2052. Sincerely,
  2053.  
  2054. Hatsune.
  2055.  
  2056.  
  2057. P.S: Twilight help me typewritering of this message, I try to fix English speak :3
  2058.  
  2059. >Of course she would've needed help.
  2060. >But who would've thought that she actually liked you?
  2061. >You had your doubts, it sounded like she only had pity for you.
  2062. >Having a hard time believing that she did like you, you imagined that such a date was merely for condolences sake.
  2063.  
  2064. >Meanwhile, on route to Twilight's castle.
  2065.  
  2066. >"Umm, Twiright, thank you for helping me with the letter".
  2067. >"Any time".
  2068. >"Do you think he likes me?"
  2069. >"I can't imagine any reason why he wouldn't, oh, and you're really improving on your English!"
  2070.  
  2071.  
  2072. >You got up for work the next morning, today you had to go report to Rarity at her boutique.
  2073. >"Ah, there you are Mr. Sanders, we've been worried about you".
  2074. "Good morning miss Rarity, I apologize for not showing up yesterday, but I was ill".
  2075. >You went on with your day, but it was cut pretty short .
  2076. >"Oh Mr. Sanders, could you please stop what you're doing and come upstairs with me?"
  2077. "Very well, may I ask what for?"
  2078. >"You'll see".
  2079. >You followed her up to what she called her 'inspiration room'.
  2080. >"Would you kindly undo your shirt and pants?"
  2081. "Rarity, I like you, but not like that..."
  2082. >"I'm taking your measurements so I can make you a new suit".
  2083. >That's all fine and dandy, but why was she doing this now?"
  2084. "I appreciate the gift, but is there any reason why you're doing this?"
  2085. >"Well you wouldn't want to be under dressed for your big date tonight, now would you?"
  2086. >U w0t m8?
  2087. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?"
  2088. >"You never got her message?"
  2089. "Well, yes, but I didn't know it was happening tonight!"
  2090. >Not only that, you didn't even get to tell them if you wanted to do this or not...
  2091. >Well, you did, but that's not the point.
  2092. >"Not to worry, you'll be well prepared..."
  2093. "I still need to bring her a gift, it would be rude of me to show up empty handed, and she's given me no time to prepare one!"
  2094. >You were stressing out now, why would she just come out of the blue with this.
  2095. >"Not to worry, I have just what you need".
  2096. >As she finished taking your measurements, she brought you back downstairs and presented you with a gold necklace, with the biggest diamond that you have ever laid your eyes on.
  2097. "My word, what a stone!"
  2098. >"Spike helped me to find this".
  2099. "I'm certain that I cannot afford this..."
  2100. >"It's my gift to you, so you may have a gift to give your date".
  2101. "That is awfully generous, thank you so much".
  2102.  
  2103.  
  2104. >You went home to freshen up while Rarity continued with the finishing touches to your new suit.
  2105. >Meanwhile, Twilight and her friends were with Hatsune, helping her prep for the date.
  2106. >"Wow, Rarity's outdone herself again, wouldn't ya say?"
  2107. >Everyone took a moment to oogle at the girl for a moment.
  2108. >"It must've been hard designing a dress for a non-pony, since she doesn't do that too often".
  2109. >The dress she designed was made of silk, white with a slight pink tint to it, having the likeness of a kimono, it had a red circle on the right side breast and red sunbeams wrapped around the entire garment.
  2110. >Evidently she had some input on the making of this piece.
  2111. >Nonetheless, it was a clever use of the Imperial flag design, she looked like she would be a great contender for miss Japan.
  2112. >They soon made their way over to Twilight's castle.
  2113.  
  2114. >About a half hour later, Rarity came over to your house to deliver you your new suit.
  2115. >You presented yourself at the door wearing only denim jeans and a white t-shirt.
  2116. "Roight on time".
  2117. >She presented you your outfit for the evening, dark-gray slacks and a black blazer, though it wasn't exactly a solid black for you could see a design sewn into the lapels.
  2118. >Just below the breast pocket on the right, she had etched in King Richard's first Great Seal.
  2119. >She must've been quite attentive when you gave history lessons on your home country.
  2120. >In the right light it actually shone on the fabric, how she managed this, on such short notice no less, you had no idea.
  2121. >On the lapel to the right, she included a small Union Jack pin, made out of crystal.
  2122. >Most of this must have been in the works for some time, there's no way she could've made all this in a day, magic or not.
  2123. >"Go on ahead, try it on".
  2124. >You grabbed yourself a white dress shirt and a bow tie and headed into the bathroom to put on your new outfit.
  2125. >A couple of minutes later, you emerged from the bathroom to find a rather surprised Rarity.
  2126. >It seemed her fantastic work surprised herself this time.
  2127. >"Oh, one more thing..."
  2128. >She opened up her saddle bag and took out a brand new top hat.
  2129. >Floating it over to you, she placed it gently on your head.
  2130. >You took a look in the mirror and thought to yourself...
  2131. 'My word, I'm so British I could piss freshly brewed tea!"
  2132. >"I must say, you are looking quite handsome".
  2133. "Only with your help is that possible".
  2134. >"Oh don't put yourself down, darling, any lady would be quite lucky to have you at their side... any chance I could be that lucky lady?"
  2135. >She gazed up at you in a rather sultry way.
  2136. "I hate to friend-zone you like this, but I'm taken for tonight".
  2137.  
  2138. >A half hour later, you made it over to the castle to meet miss Hatsune.
  2139. >"Glad you could finally make it, Mr. Sanders!"
  2140. >"Oooohhh, I'm so excited for them!"
  2141. >Pinkie Pie was all giddy that this was finally happening.
  2142. >You bowed down towards the girl, and she bowed to you.
  2143. "Before we commence this outing, I would like to present to you a gift..."
  2144. >Taking out the gold chained diamond, she shuddered.
  2145. >"Oh, my, I don't know what to say!"
  2146. "Think nothing of it, love".
  2147. >You brought your hands around her head to clip the ends of the necklace together.
  2148. "Before we get on our way, might I ask what we shall be doing this evening?"
  2149. >It was true, you were never told what was planned for the date.
  2150. >"There's a show over at the town center, then we'll be off to dinner".
  2151. >It was a sound plan, back home you once heard a tip that one should always start with the movie before dinner, that way you'll have something to talk about over dinner.
  2152. >However, show or not, you two certainly had something to talk about anyways, considering that you both died to get here.
  2153. >Soon enough, you two were on your way.
  2154.  
  2155. >Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash went to speak to Fluttershy.
  2156. >"Hey, Fluttershy, I think we should be keeping an eye on them".
  2157. >"Huh, but why?"
  2158. >"Just to make sure that the girl stays safe".
  2159. >Fluttershy was confused, wasn't it established that you didn't intend on harming anyone?
  2160. >Not only that, Rainbow wasn't able to beat her in a fight, how could you?
  2161. >Fluttershy even tried to explain this to her.
  2162. >"Well, I don't know, I.... something's just telling me that we should be there".
  2163. >Reluctantly, Fluttershy agreed to help Rainbow Dash spy on you.
  2164.  
  2165. >As you and little miss Japan were on your way to the town hall, Rainbow and Flutters hopped onto a cloud and started following you around.
  2166. >"Wait a minute, Dash, we can't go in there, we don't have a ticket!"
  2167. >"Yeah, that and they'll suspect something's up..."
  2168. >They sat there on the cloud and pondered for a moment, until Fluttershy spoke up.
  2169. >"Well, there is a lot of ponies in there, if he had some sort of intent on hurting her I don't think he would do it in front of all of them".
  2170. >Rainbow thought about that for a moment.
  2171. >"You know what, you're right, she's safe there...."
  2172. >Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief upon hearing that.
  2173. >"And that's why we need to wait here for them to come out!"
  2174. >Defeated, Fluttershy plopped her arse down on the cloud.
  2175. >It was going to be a good two hours before they come out.
  2176.  
  2177.  
  2178. >Rainbow Dash stood by diligently while Fluttershy fell asleep.
  2179. >After that two hour ordeal, you and your date finally came out.
  2180. >You two were having yourselves a good giggle.
  2181. "And that's why they had a hard time trusting me all for all that time".
  2182. >"Ohh, I'm so sorry".
  2183. "Well, it's nothing to worry about now, water under the bridge".
  2184. >The play that they had performed was about the time the first humans came to this place, the Slavs and the Blacks.
  2185. >Twilight probably didn't know that they were showing that this evening, if she did then she probably wouldn't have sent you.
  2186. >Even the pone at the door warned you about the content of the play and told you it might be offensive, particularly to your kind.
  2187. >What the hell is this, Tumblr with their trigger warnings?
  2188. >"It was funny really, seeing Russia people are like Africa people..."
  2189. >You stopped for a moment.
  2190. "What now?"
  2191. >"You see, Africa people are savage, Russia people are like Africa people, but wrong skin color by accident..."
  2192. >Oh lord, did you lose it.
  2193. "Oh my, that's a good one, I think you and I are going to get along just fine".
  2194. >As you and miss Hatsune made your way over to the restaurant, Rainbow Dash kicked into high gear.
  2195. >"Fluttershy, wake up! They're on the move!"
  2196. >As they were hovering the cloud towards you, you took a look around.
  2197. >"Uh oh, stop! I think our cover's blown".
  2198. >You took a look behind you, and thought nothing of it.
  2199. >Rainbow Dash and Flutters peeked through the cloud as you walked away.
  2200. >"Come on, let's get moving".
  2201.  
  2202. >Pushing the cloud along and peeking out every so often, following you like Lakitu, they eventually made it to the restaurant.
  2203. >"Hold up, stop it here".
  2204. "Table for two please".
  2205. >"Ah, yes, we've been expecting you! This way, Princess Twilight made a reservation just for you two".
  2206. >The waiter directed you to a balcony upstairs in the back of the building, where a table was all set up for you and miss Hatsune.
  2207. >Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was scrambling to find an angle to spy on you and trying not to lose sight of you.
  2208. >As you and your date were getting settled down, Rainbow Dash got sight of you and scrambled to stop the cloud before you noticed.
  2209. >"Alright, shut up now!"
  2210. >"I wasn't going to say anything..."
  2211. >"Shut it!"
  2212. >"Okay..."
  2213. >You began to dig into the bread in the middle of the table, Hatsune soon does the same.
  2214. >"How nice of Twilight to reserve for us a spot with such a lovely view".
  2215. >The balcony was overlooking a moonlit meadow and facing towards the mountains, where Canterlot was situated.
  2216. >"Those castles over there, Twilight told me that's Canterlot, home of the unicorns".
  2217. "She actually offered to take me there to meet with the princesses, that was until..."
  2218. >"I came along..."
  2219. >"Erm, possibly."
  2220. >Now it was getting a bit awkward, you didn't want her feeling guilty.
  2221. >Rainbow and Fluttershy were still listening in.
  2222. >"Because we want to make sure that you wont brutalize her like those other guys did to each other!"
  2223. >"But Rainbow, he's proven to us he's not like that, I mean, isn't the past few months enough proof of..."
  2224. >"I said shut it!"
  2225. >"Oh...O-okay..."
  2226. >Hatsune then when on to explain how she knew that she was keeping you from Canterlot.
  2227. >"You obviously weren't the first person to come here, and we just saw a play about the ones that did, and, well..."
  2228. "They obviously weren't the finest specimens of people for the making of a first impression".
  2229. >"Yes, and Twiright and her friends assumed that you would try to hurt me, like they did each other and everyone else".
  2230. "Your accent has shown through a slight touch there".
  2231. >Embarrassed that she let that happen, she couldn't help but blush.
  2232.  
  2233.  
  2234. "Now, now, Love, nothing to be ashamed of".
  2235. >"I'm sorry, Twiright has been teaching me... Oh no, I did it again!"
  2236. >She then buried her face into her hands.
  2237. >It was cute, really.
  2238. >"Ooooh, she can be just so cute sometimes!"
  2239. >"Shut up, Fluttershy, or they'll hear!"
  2240. >"Okay..."
  2241. >Before you could speak up, the waiter returned to take your orders.
  2242. >A few minutes later, after scratching your heads staring at the menus, you decided on your meals and your drinks.
  2243. >As the waiter left, you tried to get her mind off her linguistic insecurities, so you then redirected attention back to the previous subject.
  2244. "So, this sounds like they're using you as some sort of testing instrument, to test me and see if I'm worthy and civilized enough for these equine fellows?"
  2245. >"Well, yes, a bit".
  2246. >Sounds like they were pushing this date on her for the sake of an experiment.
  2247. >Well, that would've been the case had they actually sent Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy to spy on you two.
  2248. "So, I take it that you weren't truly enthusiastic about going on this date, now were you?"
  2249. >"What? No, no! I really do like you! They just think that we would make a good couple".
  2250. >That, and the fact that they wouldn't want the only two humans in the world to be isolated from each other.
  2251. "Quite honestly, even if I had any intentions on hurting you, there's no way I could, I saw what happened to Rainbow Dash..."
  2252. >Now it was your turn to be embarrassed.
  2253. "...And she was able to give me quite a bloody drubbin', so the outcome would be rather predictable should I try to lay a hand on you".
  2254. >"Rainbow, that's exactly what I told you".
  2255. >"Sssssshhhhhh!"
  2256. >Discouraged, yet again, she plopped her face into the cloud.
  2257. "Getting bullied by a rainbow haired pony is quite embarrassing, I'll admit".
  2258. >"There's no shame in that, really, I mean, she does know how to fight well".
  2259. >Even after her reassurance, you still couldn't help but feel ashamed.
  2260. >Not a minute too soon, the waiter returned with your drinks.
  2261. >Red wine for both of you, not nearly strong enough to suppress this feeling of embarrassment, but it would have to do.
  2262.  
  2263. >It wasn't too long before your main courses arrived, that was when you brought up the topic of your lives before coming here.
  2264. "If you don't mind my asking, what was your life like before you came here? I'm a tad curious about your past".
  2265. >She continued to chew her food, gesturing for you to wait a moment until she swallowed.
  2266. >You were a bit disappointed to hear her words finally come out of her mouth.
  2267. >"You first".
  2268. >Bollucks.
  2269. "Very well then, I was living in London during my last days back on Earth, at the time I was studying at the University of Law in Bloomsbury".
  2270. >"You were studying to be a lawyer?"
  2271. "More or less, although I was hoping to use my education in order to pursue politics".
  2272. >You went on about how you were hoping to change British foreign policy, change it's immigration policy, make some changes to domestic policy and bring freedom back to your homeland, the whole idealistic spiel.
  2273. "I was hoping to do all this through UKIP, but that party would've had to make some changes within itself before taking on such a task".
  2274. >"Like what?"
  2275. >She probably wasn't aware all that much of UKIP's doings, but anyone aware of them would know what was wrong with them.
  2276. "Much of their leadership seems to take the lead of the Tea Party in America..."
  2277. >"Oh, I see..."
  2278. >You used the American Tea Party as an example since everyone knew about them.
  2279. "...the absolute worst that conservatism has to offer, I'm no liberal by any means, but I have to admit, there's quite a few nutters in there".
  2280. >You went on about your past political views, which she seemed to agree with (not surprisingly, Japan didn't appreciate immigrants all that much).
  2281. "Finally, I hired a plumber one day, he ended up bashin' me fookin' 'ead in..."
  2282. >'I w0t m8?' is what you thought to yourself after you said that.
  2283. >You spent months proving that you weren't just some chav.
  2284. >"Fluttershy, get up, I think it's go time!"
  2285. "Oh my, terribly sorry for how that came out".
  2286. >"False alarm..."
  2287. >Fluttershy quickly dozed off back to sleep.
  2288. >"Oh don't worry about it, you pointed out that I still have an accent".
  2289. "Yes, quite true".
  2290. >After taking a moment to continue eating your meal, you finally got to asking her about her life.
  2291. "Now then, what was your life like before you ended up here?"
  2292.  
  2293.  
  2294. >She seemed to be a bit uneasy, but she went on to tell her story.
  2295. >"I was living in Sapporo at the time, with my father, mother, and sister".
  2296. >You were surprised to hear that she had a sibling, since Japan had a really low birthrate.
  2297. >"My parents were working a ramen shop downtown, me and my sister were attending school, she was studying to be an engineer, I was hoping to become a doctor".
  2298. "Your pursuits sound much more noble than mine already".
  2299. >She blushed, then continued with her life story.
  2300. >"Well, it would be, if I were a decent student..."
  2301. >You gave her a quizzical look.
  2302. "Pardon me?"
  2303. >"Let's just say that I was always out-shined by my sister".
  2304. >Being an only child, you would dread having that kind of competition with a sibling.
  2305. >"We were a working class family, making ends meet was sometimes a challenge for my parents..."
  2306. >As she was telling her life story, the two pegasi in the cloud were listening in.
  2307. >"Fluttershy, listen!"
  2308. >Rainbow woke Flutters up so she could eavesdrop on her life story.
  2309. >"It came to a point where my parents had to go... underground... to keep their business afloat and to keep their income".
  2310. "Underground?"
  2311. >"The Yakuza".
  2312. >Should've figured, no element of Japanese society is safe from organized crime, it was just like Russia in a way.
  2313. >"The burden of that debt even began to make life at home much harder..."
  2314. >As Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were listening in, an unexpected visitor approached them from behind.
  2315. >"Hey guys!"
  2316. >It was Derpy, what was she doing out this late?
  2317. >The two pegasi hiding behind the cloud gasped and grabbed Derpy and shut her up.
  2318. "Did you hear that... Was that cloud always so close?"
  2319. >"Dammit, there on to us!"
  2320. "Who's there?"
  2321.  
  2322.  
  2323. >A few seconds later, you saw Derpy's adorable little face emerge from the cloud.
  2324. >"Oh, hello Derpy!"
  2325. >"Hi miss Hatsune!"
  2326. >You were still suspicious of this whole display.
  2327. "Excuse me, but is there anyone there with you, a spy perhaps?"
  2328. >She hesitated a moment, sinking her head back into the cloud.
  2329. >Meanwhile, Rainbow whispered to her.
  2330. >"There's no one here!"
  2331. >Finally, she came back out.
  2332. >"There's no one here. Nope, no spies here! No sir!"
  2333. >Something was telling you not to take her word for it, but you did anyways.
  2334. "Very well, I believe you."
  2335. >You turned back to your lady for the night.
  2336. "Shall we get going?"
  2337. >"Yes please, I'm getting a bit tired".
  2338. "Shall I take you back to Twilight's castle?"
  2339. >"Actually, umm..."
  2340. >What was she hesitating about?
  2341. >"I'm curious to see where you live".
  2342. >No one ever told her?
  2343. "It's not much to see, care for a visit?"
  2344. >"If you don't mind".
  2345.  
  2346.  
  2347. >You were ready to pay for the meal, but you were informed that Twilight had already covered any costs that might be incurred.
  2348. "My, how generous of her".
  2349. >The two of you made your way downstairs.
  2350. >As you got to the door to leave, you opened the door for the lady, and motioned for her to go first.
  2351. >She bowed down, and went on through.
  2352.  
  2353. >At the back of the restaurant, Rainbow, Flutters, and Derpy brought the cloud back to the ground and discarded it.
  2354. >"Dammit, Derpy! You almost blew our cover!".
  2355. >"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were..."
  2356. >"Trying to keep an eye on him! Shouldn't it have been really obvious, I mean REALLY obvious?"
  2357. >Rainbow Dash was yelling and stomping towards Derpy in a very hostile manner, scaring the gray pegasus.
  2358. >"I....I-I'm sorry Rainbow Dash".
  2359. >She collapsed to the ground and was just about in tears at this point.
  2360. >"Rainbow, stop this!"
  2361. >For the first time tonight, Fluttershy spoke up and defied Rainbow Dash.
  2362. >"Please, she didn't mean any harm, stop yelling at her!"
  2363. >Rainbow Dash maintained an angry glare while Derpy buried her face into the ground, covering her head with her hooves.
  2364. >Soon enough, Rainbow's rage subsided, and she sighed.
  2365. >"I'm sorry, I can't stay mad at you".
  2366. >Derpy began to lift her head from the ground.
  2367. >"It's just that I'm trying to make sure my friend is safe, I hope you understand..."
  2368. >Derpy gave her a nod, acknowledging that.
  2369. >"Even though what we're doing tonight is completely unnecessary.
  2370. >"Shut it, Fluttershy".
  2371. >Soon, they were back to stalking you.
  2372.  
  2373.  
  2374. >It wasn't a very long walk to get to your house, yet both of you were still exhausted.
  2375. >You went to open the door, and held it open for Hatsune.
  2376. "Oh, Winnie, we have a visitor!"
  2377. >He emerged from the couch, where he was sleeping.
  2378. >Seeing the fuzzy behemoth spooked Hatsune, and she backed up into your arms.
  2379. "Now, now, love, there's nothing to be afraid of, this bloke here is a civilized creature..."
  2380. >You let her go and looked back towards Winnie.
  2381. "Now come 'ere, you!"
  2382. >The bear climbed over the couch and ran towards you.
  2383. >As he neared you, your Japanese friend covered her eyes, thinking you were going to get gutted.
  2384. >Instead, what she witnessed was a literal 'bear hug'.
  2385. "Aww, yea, me best friend roight 'ere!"
  2386. >The girl still looked on fearfully.
  2387. "C'mere and cuddle this bloke, he won't boite ya!"
  2388. >The big 'ol bear unhanded you and looked towards the young Jap girl.
  2389. >Hatsune just stood there, petrified at the sight of the fuzzy beast.
  2390. "Oh, Winnie, perhaps you'll want to approach her slowly..."
  2391. >The bear gave a small, worried sounding whine, and inched ever so closer to the timid Japanese girl.
  2392. "Oh, actually, why not let her approach you instead?"
  2393. >You gestured for Winnie to sit, and he plopped his arse down.
  2394.  
  2395.  
  2396. "Now then, go on, he won't bite".
  2397. >She took timid, yet graceful little baby steps, getting progressively smaller as she got closer to the fuzzy beast.
  2398. >Finally, she was close enough to reach out and touch him.
  2399. >She took one last look at you before laying a hand on the bear.
  2400. "Well, go on, love".
  2401. >She gulped, and finally found the courage to reach out and pet the furry bloke.
  2402. >First, the tips of her fingers grazed the surface of his fur, eventually digging her hand deeper in.
  2403. >Starting to rub him, miss Hatsune was getting noticeably less anxious and tense.
  2404. "You see, love, there's no reason to be afraid..."
  2405. >It became apparent to her, and she soon buried her face into Winnie's chest.
  2406. "There now, you see?"
  2407. >Hatsune was getting a bit too comfortable now, and it was making your ursine friend nervous.
  2408. >She was so comfortable that you had to go over and pull her off.
  2409. "Okay, that's quite enough now, love".
  2410. >"Oh, I'm sorry..."
  2411. "Now then..."
  2412. >You gestured over to the bar.
  2413. "Can I interest you in a glass of wine?"
  2414. >"Oh, yes, thank you".
  2415. >Before you could look back at the bar, Winnie was already dressed up and prepared to serve you.
  2416.  
  2417.  
  2418. >"Wow, you have him very well trained".
  2419. "You can thank Fluttershy for the most part for that, he was already a well cultured bloke before I got him".
  2420. >You gestured over to the bar.
  2421. "Well, what'll you have, love?"
  2422. >Hatsune pondered for a moment...
  2423. >"I think I'll just have a red wine".
  2424. "Very well.."
  2425. >You gestured for Winnie to come closer to you, so you could whisper an order to him.
  2426. "Get the good one".
  2427. >He gave you a surprised look, as if to question your order.
  2428. "This is a very special occasion, and we have a very special guest, the situation calls for it!"
  2429. >Winnie obliged, and got out your best wine, the "Two Sisters' Private Reserve".
  2430. >It was a good vintage, dated from two decades ago.
  2431. >Winnie used his claw to dig underneath the cork and popped it off.
  2432. >You just loved that popping sound.
  2433. >Hatsune got herself seated at the bar, Winnie began pouring each of your glasses like a professional, twisting the bottle upwards as the glass filled to the right levels so as to not lose a drop.
  2434. >Moments later, Rainbow and Flutters had caught up to you, and returned to spying on you, peering through a window.
  2435. >"Flutters, what do you see?"
  2436. >She raised her head slowly to see what was going on in there.
  2437. >"Okay, they're just sitting there, chatting..."
  2438. >"Okay, and what?"
  2439. >"That's it, oh, and they're having a drink".
  2440. >Rainbow assumed the worst immediately.
  2441. >"He's trying to get her drunk, of course he'd try to get her guard down!"
  2442. >She tried to make a rush around to the front door, but Fluttershy held her back and fought her down.
  2443.  
  2444.  
  2445. >Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy made quite a ruckus in their quarrel and caught the attention of you and your guest.
  2446. "What the bloody hell was that?"
  2447. >The two pegasi heard you and immediately stopped what they were doing.
  2448. "I had better go and check it out".
  2449. >As you hopped off of your seat, Winnie immediately ran over to stop you, insisting that he go out instead.
  2450. "Do be careful out there, chap".
  2451. >The bear stood up, grabbed the doorknob with both his paws, and got the door open.
  2452. >He then started to sniff around like he was a bloodhound.
  2453. >As he sniffed, his nose picked up a very familiar scent, and he was guided to it.
  2454. >Rainbow Dash peered beyond the side of the house and gasped at the sight of your big fuzzy friend.
  2455. >"Fluttershy! Your bear friend is coming, do something!"
  2456. >Just as Winnie was poked his head beyond the corner of the house, Fluttershy already had her hooves together, silently begging and pleading for Winnie not rat them out.
  2457. >He stood there staring at her, pondering to himself, "do I lie to my friend or do I expose my old caretaker?"
  2458. >All the while, Fluttershy continued to silently mouth to him, "Please, please! Don't tell him we're here, I beg you!"
  2459. >After a moment, Winnie turned around and headed back into the house.
  2460. >Upon closing the door, you went ahead and asked him...
  2461. "Well, Winnie, is there anything out there that would concern us?"
  2462. >Without hesitation, he shook his head, and you bought the answer.
  2463. "Splendid! Thank you".
  2464. >Soon the two of you were back to enjoying the evening.
  2465. >At least, for the moment.
  2466.  
  2467.  
  2468. >There was one question you still had in the back of your mind, a very uncomfortable one.
  2469. >You had been wanting to ask this since you left the restaurant: How did she ever end up here?
  2470. >It seemed she was about to answer the question herself when you asked her about her life back home, but you were interrupted by Derpy peeking her adorable little face through the cloud.
  2471. "Hatsune, my dear..."
  2472. >You stopped for a moment, hesitating to ask her the big question.
  2473. >She noticed that you had gotten a bit uncomfortable.
  2474. >"Please, don't feel bad, we're good friends, you can ask me anything".
  2475. >Regaining your composure, you finally say it...
  2476. "I have been... a bit curious as to how you had gotten here in the first place".
  2477. >"Oh, right, I was about to tell you earlier... to tell you the truth I was relieved when Derpy interrupted us".
  2478. "Is your story really that tragic?"
  2479. >She took a deep breath before speaking, still hesitating to speak.
  2480. >"Do you remember when I told you that my family's business wasn't do so well, and our family fell into quite a bit of debt?"
  2481. "Yes".
  2482. >"Well, I had taken it upon myself to rectify that situation..."
  2483. >You weren't liking where this was going.
  2484. >"Just before my final day, I went to see Mr. Nagamura, the 'boss' in my city"...
  2485. >She had to take a moment to stop and collect her thoughts.
  2486. >"I told him about my family's situation, and told him that I would... sacrifice myself on their behalf..."
  2487. >Good lord...
  2488. >"I had gone and sold my body to him, for a specific purpose, but he had one thing in mind for me before I would see myself expended".
  2489.  
  2490. >You weren't sure how much more you could bear to hear of this, she barely began her story and even your classic British stoicism was beginning to fail you.
  2491. >"I wasn't sure if I wanted to go out with purity or to have the experience at least once before passing on... but, he really wanted my body, and I was afraid of saying 'no' to him".
  2492. >Hearing that the man had used her for sex before she died gave you a sinking feeling in your stomach.
  2493. >"So, after I had let him defile my body we went off to the hospital so he and his doctors could go... disassemble me".
  2494. >Oh God.
  2495. >"When I was wheeled into the operating room, the last thing I saw was a bright light, three doctors looking down at me, and a mask being set upon my face".
  2496. >Over at the window, Fluttershy was silently weeping to herself, and Rainbow held on to her, struggling to keep her own tears from flowing.
  2497. "Are you telling me that...?"
  2498. >"Mr. Nagamura took my organs to sell them? Yes, perhaps my dream of saving people's lives had been realized".
  2499. >Your throat was beginning to constrict, "choking up" was the best way to describe it.
  2500. >There was just so much you wanted to say to her at that moment, how the world lost such an exceptional individual, how the world lost all the potential that she had, how the world had lost someone as lovable and pleasant as her...
  2501. >...How the world lost such an outstanding and beautiful soul.
  2502. >At this point you could no longer help yourself, you threw yourself at the young woman and hugged her tightly, almost breaking down weeping.
  2503. "I'm so sorry this happened to you!"
  2504. >She soon broke down into tears, and leaned into your chest.
  2505. >"Do not be, I had brought shame on my family..."
  2506. >Normally you would've laughed at this sentence coming from anyone of Asiatic descent, but now, all you could say was...
  2507. "Don't say that! Our world lost a lot!"
  2508. >As you and Hatsune had an emotional moment, Flutters broke down into tears.
  2509. >Even Rainbow Dash couldn't keep herself from crying.
  2510. >"C'mon Fluttershy, let's leave them".
  2511. >She probably wanted to leave before she ended up bawling her eyes out.
  2512.  
  2513. >You know, a half hour or so of crying can get pretty tiring.
  2514. >After spilling out all our sorrows, the two of you found yourselves lying down on your couch.
  2515. >She rested atop you, nuzzling her face into your body while you gently stroked her hair.
  2516. >Winnie had been a dear and set a blanket over the two of you, you were quite cozy.
  2517. >You weren't sure how long you two laid there, but you were caught quite off guard when little Hatsune spoke to you again.
  2518. >"Umm, Sanders, dear..."
  2519. >You looked down to look into her eyes.
  2520. "Yes Hatsune?"
  2521. >Seemed she was getting a bit nervous, she was blushing now, and it was adorable.
  2522. >You put your hand below her chin to caress her delicate little face.
  2523. "Anything you need to say, love?"
  2524. >"Are you... clean?"
  2525. >What kind of question was this now?
  2526. >Was she referring to what's in your pants?
  2527. "Erm... I supposed so, I'm healthy if that's what you're asking..."
  2528. >That was when her face started inching towards yours, climbing over you, preparing to lock lips with you.
  2529. >Now, the two of you were kissing, and things would only get hotter and heavier from there.
  2530.  
  2531. >Shortly after, she would lift herself off of you to start undoing your shirt, as she did this, you reached up to her to start undoing her dress.
  2532. >Of course, the two of you would take care not to ruin Rarity's handiwork.
  2533. >After undoing her clothing, she stood up, and let the silky and delicate garment slide elegantly off of her.
  2534. >Her slim and dainty figure was revealed to you, her pale, milky, satin-like skin, and the intricately designed black lingere that left you curious for more...
  2535. >It was this moment that made you thankful for all the hard hours you put in on Applejack's farm, all that toiling and laboring had left you with a body that she would desire.
  2536. >She was undoing your shirt buttons, hungrily gazing upon what she was revealing.
  2537. >After she opened up your pants, the two of you tossed your clothes aside onto the coffee table in front of your couch.
  2538. >Now the two of you were really going after each other.
  2539.  
  2540. >This was possibly the worst possible time for your two pegasus friends to return.
  2541. >"Rainbow, are we really doing this again?"
  2542. >"I'm sorry! I'm just really curious to see how they're doing after all that".
  2543. >"Okay, fine, but we really need to get going after this!"
  2544. >The two of them took positions on either side of your window overlooking your couch area.
  2545. >Needless to say, they were both a bit shocked to witness you and Hatsune caught in The Act.
  2546. >Rainbow and Flutters' wings both popped up and they quickly retreated below, to make sure they wouldn't be seen by you.
  2547. >"Fluttershy, were they just?"
  2548. >"Yes, yes, I do believe they were..."
  2549. >Fluttershy was blushing, and quickly got up to catch herself another eyeful.
  2550. >Even knowing how risky this was, Rainbow Dash did the same.
  2551. >Meanwhile, off in the distance, Twilight had a telescope set up on a hill and notebook in her hooves.
  2552. >She became a bit irate to see her two friends blocking the view of these two human subjects reaching the end goal of their courtship rituals.
  2553. >"Will you two get out of the way, PLEASE!"
  2554. >So many things getting in the way of science.
  2555.  
  2556. >Thankfully, the two pegasi didn't spend two long spying on you.
  2557. >As they were about to go their own separate ways back home, they had a couple of comments to make about you and Hatsune.
  2558. >"Oh, I can't believe I'm even thinking about this!"
  2559. >"What is it Fluttershy?"
  2560. >She hesitated for a moment.
  2561. >"Think Mr. Sanders is sort of... hot".
  2562. >She buried her face into her hooves, her face was so red that it showed through her fur.
  2563. >Rainbow Dash couldn't help but blush either.
  2564. >"You know, I think Miss Hatsune is kinda sexy too".
  2565. >She took a quick look around before she continued.
  2566. >"I'd honestly let her kick my ass all over again, just so I can get a feel of her cute little body".
  2567. >After saying that, she took another look around.
  2568. >"Listen here Fluttershy, what happened over there stays over there, we're going to keep this between us, got it?"
  2569. >She nodded her head very quickly in agreeance.
  2570. >"Okay, good, well, goodnight..."
  2571. >The two of them had gone their separate ways, with their new sexual fantasies.
  2572. >Unfortunately for them, Twilight was also aware of what they had witnessed.
  2573.  
  2574. >You woke up the next day, rather pleasantly surprised to see that Hatsune was still asleep atop your bosom.
  2575. >Making every effort not to wake her, you slid yourself out of there.
  2576. >After such a lovely night, it was time you treated your esteemed guest to a good breakfast.
  2577.  
  2578.  
  2579. >As the weeks went by, the two of you would start seeing each other more and more.
  2580. >Twilight her little posse would be highly observant of the developments occurring in your relationship.
  2581. >Especially Twilight, since she was scientifically interested in the happenings between you and your new lover.
  2582. >Miss Hatsune's decision to move in with you certainly had them all interested, and thankfully they were ultimately unopposed.
  2583. >When that occurred, you got to redecorating your home yet again, in honor of it's new occupant.
  2584. >Thankfully, the only changes that were going to occur were going to be mostly superficial and aesthetic.
  2585. >Rarity came around to help nit you new flags and banners.
  2586. >Applejack came along and offered to help you paint.
  2587. >The rest of the gang came along and helped you to decorate the rest of the exterior.
  2588. >They did some gardening, planted some new flowers...
  2589. >In the end, the final product came out absolutely glorious.
  2590. >On one side, her side, a red Rising Sun imposed halfway upon a white background, with red sunbeams spanning the wall.
  2591. >On your side, half of the Union Jack would be proudly displayed.
  2592. >You weren't sure if this violated the flag code, but really, who was going to call you out on it?
  2593. >On the front door, the Royal Coat of Arms and the Imperial Seal would be there to greet guests.
  2594. >Meanwhile, in the front yard, flowers, in the colors of your respectful nations, were planted in a most beautiful display, divided down the middle by the walkway to the house.
  2595. >Within each of those flower patches was a flag pole, on your side flown the Cross of St. George.
  2596. >On Hatsune's side, the flag of the Hokkaido Prefecture fluttered in the wind.
  2597. >Twilight, at first, was confused when she saw it.
  2598. >"Umm, Miss Hatsune, that looks suspiciously like-"
  2599. >"Oh, so it does, oh my..."
  2600. >The flag design and Twilight's cutie mark have an uncanny resemblance to one another.
  2601. >Either that's one hell of a coincidence, or perhaps miss Hatsune was meant to befriend miss Twilight.
  2602.  
  2603.  
  2604. >Finally taking a step back, you observed the fruits of your labors.
  2605. >It was absolutely magnificent, a perfect tribute to those that lived within it.
  2606. >Although, now that you thought about it, it seemed pretty strange that the locals would be okay with how you've decorated your home, let alone celebrating it.
  2607. >It doesn't exactly indicate that the two of you have 'integrated' or 'assimilated' into Equestrian society, now does it?
  2608. >Nonetheless, you were happy with the final product, as was Hatsune.
  2609. >It was a rather lovely place for a couple of island monkeys in love to call home.
  2610.  
  2611. >A couple of weeks later, Twilight would approach you with a proposal to take you and Hatsune to Canterlot.
  2612. >She figured that after all that you've been through (especially you) in integrating within this new society, it was time that you should officially present yourselves before the Two Sisters.
  2613. >Hatsune was quite excited to have a chance to meet royalty.
  2614. >"Ohh, we're actually going to meet the Princesses!"
  2615. >Surely she must've realized that she's been in the presence of one since the beginning, right?
  2616. >But then again, Twilight isn't exactly a national leader.
  2617. "Hold on now, if we are going to be presenting ourselves to the highest authority in the land, I would suggest that we make some preparations beforehand".
  2618. >"Like what?"
  2619. >This is something that you had been thinking about for some time, and you figured that you shouldn't just go there and shake hands... or hooves.
  2620. >You figured that you should present something of substance to them...
  2621. >You were very well aware of the problems the first humans wrought upon the native Equestrians, and you wanted to prevent something like that from ever happening again.
  2622. >Back home, you wanted to become a statesman, and now you have yourself a new opportunity to some good for your new country.
  2623.  
  2624.  
  2625. >You went back to Twilight at her castle and requested her help in drafting some new legislation, particularly that regarding immigration.
  2626. >"But Mr. Sanders, we already have immigration laws on the books".
  2627. "Perhaps, but it does not have any provisions for situations such as humans suddenly coming in from who the hell knows where..."
  2628. >"Okay, you do have a point".
  2629. >Surprisingly, no one had thought to do so even after such traumatizing events.
  2630. "Well miss Sparkle, shall we get to work?"
  2631. >"I suppose it's about time we actually did something".
  2632.  
  2633. >It took a few days of studying, brainstorming, debating, weighing risks and benefits of enacting certain policies, and teaching her the history of your world so that her's would not have to experience it...
  2634. >At the end of it all, the new legislation would be titled: "The Offworld Aliens Act".
  2635. >It was a strange title, but it would technically apply to any sentient creature coming from offworld, whether through magical, interdimensional means or from outer space.
  2636. >You're not going to lie, you were genuinely considering calling it the 'Ayy Lmao Act'.
  2637. >What the new laws would boil down to would be this:
  2638.  
  2639. >The existing immigration laws would remain unchanged, except for the fact that new ones were being added on top of that.
  2640. >Those coming from offworld who have no means of returning will be given the option to earn citizenship in Equestria.
  2641. >If the newcomer wishes to live among the existing Native Equestrians, a probationary period of two to three months will be enforced where the newcomer will be required to live away from any major population centers.
  2642. >The newcomer will also be closely monitored by Equestrian authorities to oversee their capacity for integration, and to ensure that the subject will not cause significant problems within the host society.
  2643. >In other words, the unwilling immigrant will be spending time in a camp to make sure they won't destroy shit when they go out in the world.
  2644. >The Equestrian government will reserve the right to detain any offworld migrants indefinitely (or at least until a settling place can be found for the individual).
  2645.  
  2646. >Obviously, this was still a work in progress.
  2647. "Other nations do exist in this world, right?"
  2648. >"Certainly".
  2649. "It would be a good idea to inform other leaders about what happened here, and to negotiate treaties regarding offworlders, people may seek out citizenship elsewhere, although I can't imagine why anyone would want to move away from this place".
  2650. >"I'll be sure to let Celestia know".
  2651.  
  2652.  
  2653. >Later that evening, Twilight noticed that you seemed to be lost in your thoughts, in a rather concerned, pensive sort of way.
  2654. >"Is everything okay, Mr. Sanders?"
  2655. "You know something, miss Twilight..."
  2656. >She continued to look to you attentively, anticipating your next words.
  2657. "For all this talk about drafting new laws, there's one thing that we have not discussed..."
  2658. >"And what might that be?"
  2659. "The infrastructure of it all... How good are you at designing camps?"
  2660. >You might just have to Oy a few Veys in order to do this.
  2661.  
  2662. >This next step in preparing the package was done at your home the next day.
  2663. >You had Twilight over and you treated her to tea and crumpets.
  2664. >Again, much discussion, as well as a lot of staring at maps and blank sheets of parchment, went into the project.
  2665. "Now Twilight, I would highly recommend that several camps be made, I wouldn't imagine there would be many objections to having the facilities being built in the Everfree forest, now would there?"
  2666. >"It may be difficult to clear the land, and I'll be entirely honest with you, what you're proposing here is probably going to be expensive".
  2667. "Could it be any more expensive than the damage caused by the wrath of the previous groups of gentlemen?"
  2668. >"Calling them 'Gentlemen' is a bit of a stretch, don't you find?"
  2669. "A simple understatement, an attempt at humour".
  2670. >"Right, now why would we need more than one facility?".
  2671. >This was going to get complicated.
  2672. >You told her the truths that weren't allowed to be told back home, you informed her about human biodiversity, different nationalities, different ethnicities and races (actually, it was here where you stopped calling the different groups of humans 'races', but instead, 'breeds') their histories, how they tend to interact with one another...
  2673. >You also went into how your society dared to experiment with multiculturalism, how all all the different peoples were allowed to live within the same borders...
  2674. >No common culture to be adopted, no assimilation, all the foreigners' old ways allowed to continue within the host society, and what did it get us?
  2675. >With all your lectures, the little Alicorn had come to understand you.
  2676. >She perfectly knew where you were coming from, she had seen it all herself.
  2677.  
  2678.  
  2679. >Several hours later, as the sun was nearing dusk, the two of you took a few steps back to review the work you had done.
  2680. "Well, miss Twilight, what are your thoughts so far?"
  2681. >She scanned the various papers spread out on the table, struggling to see any sorts of mistakes.
  2682. >"I... don't know, perhaps if could get a fresh set of eyes to view this..."
  2683. >Before she could finish what she was going to say, there was a knocking on your door.
  2684. "Who could that be?"
  2685. >"Don't worry, I'll get it!"
  2686. >Hatsune answered the door, it was none other than Pinkie Pie.
  2687. >"HI! I just came around to see how Twilight was doing!"
  2688. >"How did you know I was here?"
  2689. >"I don't know, HEEEEY! What's this you're working on here?"
  2690. "This is a series of camps that we have been designing".
  2691. >"They look like jails, has there been a crime spree?"
  2692. >When she said that, it suddenly occurred to you that the entire design philosophy was flawed from the beginning.
  2693. >Sure, they were designed with the idea of exercising caution, but these facilities look like they're designed to house criminals.
  2694. >In other words, they're prisons.
  2695. "You know Twilight, you were right when you mentioned we needed a fresh set of eyes".
  2696. >From Twi's perspective, she found nothing wrong with the designs, considering her previous encounters with humans.
  2697. >But at the end of the day, you still would've been assuming wrongdoing on anyone who arrived.
  2698. >Guilty until proven innocent, as they would say.
  2699.  
  2700. >It wouldn't be too long until the rest of the gang would get invited into your home, not necessarily with your permission, but not necessarily unwelcome.
  2701. >Thankfully, Winnie was around to help cater the party.
  2702. >Everyone had provided input and made improvements in various areas, in places that had gone way over your head.
  2703.  
  2704.  
  2705. >"They need some space to get some exercise! Make them some fields for sports!"
  2706. >"Provide some materials so they could decorate their living quarters! I'd be curious to see what they come up with".
  2707. >"Maybe there should be windows looking into the place, maybe they'd like to see who's watching them".
  2708. >"Yah know, maybe they should just be given buildin' materials and let them build their homes themselves!"
  2709. >This was all actually brilliant, these are things that you would've never had thought about.
  2710. >All of these things would provide activities for any involuntary migrant that can be observed by authorities.
  2711. >These things could help gauge their capacity for integration within greater society.
  2712. >It would seem seven heads are better than two.
  2713. >But what about miss Hatsune, where was her input in all of this?
  2714. >"Oh, well, my country has never dealt with immigrants like this, I wouldn't know what to suggest".
  2715. >Well that's understandable.
  2716.  
  2717. >After all was said and done, everyone seemed to have gone to sleep, while you and Twilight stayed up to write a proposal speech to the Princesses.
  2718. >It seemed you had an involuntary sleepover on your hands.
  2719. >Not that you really minded at all.
  2720. >This next part of the project got moved from the dining room table over to your sofa, where your coffee table was.
  2721. >The two of you kept at it for about an hour, proofreading, reciting aloud, re-writing...
  2722. >Until the two of you simply passed out.
  2723. >Twilight fell asleep on top of you, in a rather suspicious position.
  2724. >She was lying atop your lap, like a loyal pooch cuddling up against their master.
  2725. >Hatsune, your dearest, was eager to show you the picture she snapped of you two, thinking it the most adorable thing ever.
  2726. "You know something, a sight like this would be relationship ending back home".
  2727. >"Why would it be? It's just cute!"
  2728. >A man making cutesys with another female is suddenly acceptable?
  2729. "Perhaps the cultural divide between us is greater than I've imagined".
  2730. >And perhaps it's for the better in this case, unless miss Hatsune decides to use this against you in court.
  2731.  
  2732.  
  2733. >The next few days went on quickly, and stressfully.
  2734. >Hatsune did everything in her power to keep you from having a nervous breakdown.
  2735. >"Sanders dear..."
  2736. "What if they don't like us? What if they laugh our proposal off the table? What if..."
  2737. >What if, what if, what if... All these what ifs were running through your mind.
  2738. >"Calm down".
  2739. "They may not take out proposal seriously, they may just judge us to be mere savages like the other-"
  2740. >Miss Hatsune quickly shut you up with a kiss.
  2741. >"Sanders dearest, it'll be okay".
  2742. "I'm sorry, it's just that so much work went into this project, and I would be devastated if nothing came of it..."
  2743. >Hatsune gave you a tender little hug, and put her head into your chest.
  2744. "I just think it'll reflect poorly on me if this fails".
  2745. >"I don't think it does, besides, you weren't the only one working on it".
  2746. "Right, right..."
  2747. >"And these people know what savages are, I'm pretty sure they don't consider us that".
  2748. "True, true".
  2749. >Really, you didn't have anything to worry about.
  2750. >But at the same time, it was good that you were expressing concern, it proved you gave a couple of fucks.
  2751.  
  2752.  
  2753. >Finally, the day of the meeting had arrived.
  2754. >You and Hatsune were brought into Canterlot via Twilight's balloon, accompanied by a wing of the Royal Guard.
  2755. >They're nothing like the valiant Queen's Guard back home, but nonetheless, you had great respect for these lads.
  2756. >The two of you were dressed as formally as you could've possibly been.
  2757. >You'll admit, it was a tad uncomfortable.
  2758. >Hatsune didn't seem to mind though, she really appreciated the Rising Sun dress Rarity made for her.
  2759. >Although, you think she could've done without having to bear a flag halfway through the city (despite being carted on a chariot).
  2760. >Why the flags?
  2761. >This day, you would not be here merely as a representative of your race, but of your nation as well.
  2762. >A formal celebration was made of this event, who would've known a couple of humans making their way in Equestrian society would've called for such a commotion.
  2763. >Well, you weren't just any human beings, you were civilized.
  2764. "Quite a bit of pomp, wouldn't you say, dear?"
  2765.  
  2766. >Finally, after arriving into the courtyard of the castle, the two of you dismount the chariot, and walk over to officially greet Princesses Celestia and Luna.
  2767. >Almost as if in a military ceremonial procession, the two of you halted in unison, and prepared to bow down.
  2768. >As a sign of respect, you remove your top hat.
  2769. >"You may rise".
  2770. >When coming back to eye level with these magical beings, they give the two of you a welcoming smile.
  2771. >"As much as we appreciate the formalities, there is no need to carry them on any longer".
  2772. >"Twilight has told us much about you, and I can already tell we have a great friendship ahead of us".
  2773. >Well that was easy.
  2774. >You can't help but feel honored to have made friends of Equestria's Royalty.
  2775. >"Now then, Twilight has told me you have something for us".
  2776. >Other than your national banners, which you present to them as gifts, you have come bearing diplomacy.
  2777.  
  2778.  
  2779. >After some pleasantries, a tour of the castle, explaining where you and miss Hatsune came from (without cultural exchange, unfortunately in this case), and Twilight finally catching up with you, you got back down to business.
  2780. >All of you had met in the great hall of the throne room, where the princesses too their respective seats upon their throne.
  2781. >Twilight had taken up a place at Celestia's side, while Hatsune took to the sidelines.
  2782. >Why wasn't she taking part in the presentation?
  2783. >She simply didn't want to partake, she didn't believe there was any reason she had to.
  2784. >You're not going to make her do anything she didn't want to, but damn her help would've definitely been appreciated.
  2785. >As you're preparing to give your speech, you nervously clear your throat, further unsettling yourself as the sound echoes throughout the majestic chamber.
  2786. >Despite the friendly relationship you had with your audience, you still couldn't help but be intimidated by their status.
  2787. >They were the nation's royal family, after all.
  2788. >At some point, you'll have to open your mouth.
  2789. >Get on with it, you pillock!
  2790. "Most venerable sovereigns, I come fourth to you today as an ambassador for the British crown, and as an ambassador for all humanity..."
  2791. >Luna seemed to be on the edge of her seat, just barely containing her excitement.
  2792. >Celestia continued to look on warmly and welcomingly.
  2793. "Your excellencies, it was made very well clear to me that I was not the first of my kind to be cast away to this great land, and I have also come to the understanding that these first peoples did not leave you with a very good first impression of our kind..."
  2794. >You noticed Twi turn to Celestia, nodding to her in agreeance with you.
  2795. "Today I come to you with a proposal, a plan in which to contain any future crises that may occur with my fellow simians, and their growing, erm... unruly".
  2796. >That got a sensible chuckle out of the Sun Princess.
  2797. >Considering her almost motherly mannerisms, it was strangely satisfying to see even just a smidgen of laughter from her.
  2798. "As with any plan of action, resources will be required in order to see it through, resources that we are hoping will be offered to us by the Equestrian State, should you be willing to be so generous. If you can be so kind as to spare a pittance of your time to present our plans, we would gladly explain every detail of the project that you would like to know about.
  2799. >The Royals look to each other, and nod their heads in approval of the presentation.
  2800. "Your willingness to hear my case is much appreciated, my only hope now is that you see value in the project we bring fourth to you".
  2801.  
  2802. >With that, you called for the assistance of the guards, and brought out all your materials.
  2803. >It was time to get down to business.
  2804.  
  2805. >You invited the alicorn trio down to get a better view at all your papers and poster boards.
  2806. >Everything that could possibly be accounted for were presented to them.
  2807. >Graphs.
  2808. >Schematics.
  2809. >Blueprints.
  2810. >Any other notes that you could've possibly conceived of needing was brought fourth to Equestria's highest authority.
  2811. >And now you were going to explain every little bit of it, and answer every question they may have.
  2812. >At the end of it all, at least two hours had elapsed, but there was still one thing that was on everyone's mind.
  2813. >The issue that was front and center of this whole show.
  2814. >"Mr. Sanders, have you any sort of projection for how much this is going to cost?"
  2815. >A sensible question, a state should not be expending funds recklessly.
  2816. >Despite the scale of the project, you were able to come up with an estimated cost quite quickly.
  2817. >Well, of course, Twilight's help made that possible.
  2818. "At the current moment, we can foresee the initial costs to be around 1.3 million bits".
  2819. >Her face scrunched ever so slightly at the mention of a number.
  2820. >'Bloody Hell, I'm losing her!'
  2821. "Plus an additional fifty, to one hundred thousand annually for maintenance and security..."
  2822. >And that's a fairly conservative estimate, and probably not that realistic.
  2823. >Celestia then brought her hoof to muzzle, likely pondering the viability and necessity of such an undertaking.
  2824. "Your highness".
  2825. >Her ears perked up, and got back to listening to you.
  2826. >"Mr. Sanders".
  2827. "I do understand that the cost is of great concern for you. After all, money is always an issue, even for the wealthiest of individuals..."
  2828. >She nodded in agreement with you.
  2829. "But you do need to understand that, ultimately, the money being allotted to this project is going to be benefiting your people..."
  2830.  
  2831.  
  2832. >Just about everyone in Ponyville would be agreeing with you on that part.
  2833. >Should more humans come around to this quaint little world, and if they're anything like the first batch of hooligans, well...
  2834. >Celestia would come to an understanding that the best course of action should the situation arise would be the segregation of the apes from the general population.
  2835. >For a time, anyways.
  2836. >"You have our support for this endeavor, however, I do believe there are some amendments to be made..."
  2837. >"Sister, Mr. Sanders, if I may speak, I do believe that there is one more provision to be made to this".
  2838. "I'm eager to hear it, Miss Luna".
  2839. >Her proposal was to have some of the camps set up in the open, uninhabited territories on the coast.
  2840. >It didn't take you long to figure out where she was going with this.
  2841. >She wanted humans to have easy access to the sea so that they'd be encouraged to do Equestria's exploring.
  2842. >Getting a bunch bipedal apes to do Equestria's dirty work?
  2843. >Now that was smart.
  2844. >Either that, or whoever goes out there could settle their own nations.
  2845. >That still left one question...
  2846. >How much of this world is unclaimed?
  2847. >It's times like this that you lament the loss of Britannia's Imperium.
  2848. >With everything agreed upon, the royals invited you and Miss Hatsune to the dining hall for supper.
  2849. "Ahh, splendid! I was feeling a tad peckish".
  2850. >The meal provided was most excellent, and you were invited to spend the night at one of their most luxurious guest suites.
  2851. >Overall, this was a pleasant experience.
  2852.  
  2853.  
  2854. >Later that evening, you and Hatsune were getting comfortable in your chamber.
  2855. "Quite a day, wouldn't you say?"
  2856. >"For you, maybe, you've been busy convincing them to allow you to colonize their country".
  2857. "Not too shabby, I'm sure you'd agree, if only we had a fife and drum on hand".
  2858. >So you could play the March of the British Grenadiers, of course.
  2859. [Colonization Intensifies]
  2860. >The joke was lost on your oriental friend.
  2861. "Do you think they liked us, you know, as individuals?"
  2862. >"You worry too much, Sanders-san".
  2863. >Oh good God.
  2864. >You pray to your godly new friends that she never calls you that again.
  2865. >The two of you stepped into bed, both of you were exhausted.
  2866. >You reached over to your oriental lover and brought her tight against you.
  2867. >She responded by nuzzling you, her nose against yours, and wrapping a leg around your body.
  2868. >"Neither of us may have had much choice when choosing who to be with, but... I'm glad I ended up with you".
  2869. >Lady, you had plenty of choice in this world, have you seen those fine stallions?
  2870. >Perhaps you better not say anything, lest she decides to leave you for one of those steeds.
  2871. >You lied there for some time, waiting for slumber to finally come to you, but neither of you could seem to fall asleep.
  2872. >So much for being exhausted.
  2873. >In the awkward silence, Hatsune decided to be the one to break the silence.
  2874. >"I think this is a great place to raise a child".
  2875. >What now?
  2876. "Erm, do you think so?"
  2877. >She looked to you as if you said something rather silly.
  2878. >And then she explained that we lived in a world of brightly colored Equine creatures with the most wholesome of values, collectively speaking.
  2879. >It made sense now that she mentions it.
  2880.  
  2881.  
  2882. >She places her hand on your chest, just above your heart.
  2883. >"I would really like to have a baby".
  2884. >This caught you off guard.
  2885. >You haven't thought about fatherhood before this.
  2886. >Does she really want you to put a Eurasian half-breed in her?
  2887. >She perfectly understood your uncertainty.
  2888. >"Only if you're ready for it, of course".
  2889. >You hesitated for a few moments, pondering on how all this was going to work.
  2890. "Do you think, perhaps, we should get married first?"
  2891. >"Maybe, but I think that can be arranged after the deed..."
  2892. >With that being said, you would respond to her by rising above her...
  2893. >You were ready to breed.
  2894. >Before you could get the task done, three notes sounded off from a music box in the room.
  2895. "Did you hear that?"
  2896. >You took a look around the room, and then to the box...
  2897. >For a moment, you felt a little suspicious of the little pony ballerina on top.
  2898. >But then you shrugged it off, probably just a little bit of eased tensions in the spring or whatnot.
  2899. >You had a lover to inseminate...
  2900.  
  2901. >Meanwhile, Twilight was away in another chamber, taking notes.
  2902. >You were completely oblivious to it, but Twilight was observing the fornication between you and Hatsune.
  2903. >"Umm, Twi, are you sure you should be doing this?"
  2904. >She turned to little dragon assistant, her face visibly red from embarrassment (and possibly arousal).
  2905. >"It doesn't feel any more right to me than it does to you, Spike, but I still haven't learnt everything I need about their race".
  2906. >"I think you know a little too much about the humans now".
  2907.  
  2908. >Meanwhile, yet again.
  2909. >Luna had concluded with the raising of the Moon, yet she still remained at the balcony, peering into a telescope.
  2910. >She had brought with her a sack of potatoes, and what appeared to be a few bottles of hard liquor.
  2911. >Celestia had gone up, wondering where her sister had gone off to.
  2912. >"Ah, there you are Luna, how might your little friend up there be?"
  2913. >"He seems to be doing just fine with the provisions provided to him".
  2914. >As she said that, she "banished" the food and drink up to her pet Pollack stuck on the Moon.
  2915. >"Have you thought about bringing him down to join the rest of us?"
  2916. >"I have indeed, but he seems more than content to spend his days on that rock, provided he is fed and watered of course".
  2917. >"What makes you so sure about that?"
  2918. >"Observe".
  2919. >Celestia went to a look inside the optical instrument, and saw the little Polish man gaily working on making his new home more habitable.
  2920. >"It would seem that he is well acclimatized to his new dwelling".
  2921. >"So it does... Is it me, or does he seem to have some sort of grand project in the making?"
  2922. >"Hard to tell, I guess only time will tell..."
  2923.  
  2924. >Meanwhile still, on the Moon.
  2925. >Our little Pollack friend has been here for the past couple of years.
  2926. >At first, he was confused, but then he was overcome with eternal happiness, upon realizing where he was...
  2927. >A Polish man had finally into space.
  2928. >For the past couple of months, the little Slavic man had been working on building a monument in honor of this feat.
  2929. >However, it was going to be years before it's complete.
  2930. >But when it's done, everyone on the planet will be aware of it.
  2931.  
  2932. >He's writing "Polska w kosmos, Kurwa!" on the surface of the satellite, along with the Polish Eagle.
  2933. >Poland has into space, and it was time for the world to know.
  2934.  
  2935. >Despite your preoccupation in the coming weeks, you were still able to squeeze in a couple of days to make wedding and honeymoon preparations.
  2936. >Your good friend Twilight asked why you would allot only a couple of days for such a critical event in your lives.
  2937. "That's not really my choice".
  2938. >"We really don't want to make such a big event out of it".
  2939. >You were a rather humble couple.
  2940.  
  2941. >When the day of the wedding came around, Celestia herself was there to oversee the procession.
  2942. >Despite your wishing to keep things quiet and humble, Twilight had suggested this.
  2943. >You were quite surprised that someone as important as the princess would be willing to take any time at all for such a trivial, personal event.
  2944. >However, just for the symbolism of it all, you were most thankful.
  2945. >Of course, this union had to be overseen by a living God...
  2946. >Not only that, the fact that she was the "Sun Princess" was an important cultural symbol for the both of you.
  2947. >The sun had risen for miss Hatsune...
  2948. >And now it shall never set upon you.
  2949.  
  2950. >Shortly after the honeymoon, which you spent in Canterlot, you came back home to Ponyville.
  2951. "My lord, I'm exhausted".
  2952. >"So am I, so good being home".
  2953. "A tranquil end to a week of excitement wouldn't yo s-".
  2954. >You didn't even have time to finish before you were assaulted with the boisterous cheering of the townsfolk.
  2955. >This came completely unexpected, you certainly didn't request any of this.
  2956. >That being the case, you nearly fainted before you realized what had occurred.
  2957. >Thankfully, your wife was able to keep you standing.
  2958. >"MISTER AND MISSUS SANDERS!"
  2959. >Of course, it's Pinkie.
  2960. "Oh good lord, I should've suspected that you'd be behind this!"
  2961. >"Heehee, yeah! I couldn't let something as important as this go without a PARTY!!!"
  2962. >All you could do was sigh in mild frustration.
  2963. "Of course, what else should I have expected".
  2964. >"You know, dear, I don't mind if the celebrations went on for just a little longer".
  2965. "Are you sure, lov-"
  2966. >"You heard her, Mr. Sanders! Let's party!!!"
  2967. >Guess you're obliged to at this point.
  2968.  
  2969.  
  2970. >As the weeks and the months went on, your vision was coming closer and closer to fruition.
  2971. >Travelling to each of the facilities, you and the princesses were most pleased to see the progress of each one's construction.
  2972. >Of course, you weren't just going to stand idly by and just watch things get done, there were still things to be done!
  2973. >It even came to a point where you took less and less time to work in Ponyville and more time on this project.
  2974. >After all, you were the architect of this endeavor.
  2975. >You consulted with the princesses on what integration and re-education programs should be implemented in the camps.
  2976. >Of course, newcomers would be taught the laws and customs of the land, basic history, and the like...
  2977. >Job training would also be on offer, there's no guarantee that anyone coming from your world will have skills that are marketable in this world.
  2978. >Not only that, Equestria also doesn't seem to have a welfare state (surprisingly), so really, job training is a necessity.
  2979. >Of course, building upon the location of most of these camps, exploration is going to be... "Heavily encouraged".
  2980. >Integration is all well and good, but ultimately, this land belongs to the pones...
  2981. >It is not humanity's place to invade their homeland, even if they are lost.
  2982.  
  2983. >The project continued on beautifully without a hitch...
  2984. >Unfortunately, you would not be present to see it completed.
  2985. >After a trip to the Ponyville General, you had fallen into a deep state of depression.
  2986. >It had felt as if you had actually fallen ill.
  2987.  
  2988. >One day, Applejack and Pinkie Pie had arrived at your door with baskets.
  2989. >They were delivering some delicious home-baked goods to try to cheer you up.
  2990. >Hatsune had answered the door for you, as you were still bumming around, unable to leave your bed.
  2991. >"Ah, why hello Hatsune! Ah reckon Mr. Sanders is still feelin' a little under the weather".
  2992. >"Yes, after finding out about his... ummm, condition..."
  2993. >"We are sooooooooooo sorry to hear about it, please let him know that we'll be there for him if he needs anything!"
  2994. >"He's a dear friend to us, an' we really do care about him".
  2995. >"Don't worry, I'm sure he can get through this".
  2996. >"Well, okay then, just let him know that we brought him a little something to cheer him up".
  2997. >"I will, thank you".
  2998. >"You're very welcome!"
  2999.  
  3000.  
  3001. >With that, they were off.
  3002. >Applejack still wasn't entirely in the know about all this, she didn't really know what was wrong with you.
  3003. >"Umm, Pinkie, ah hate to admit that I'm a bit, erm... ill informed about Mr. Sanders, but... what exactly is wrong with him?"
  3004. >Pinkie shifted her eyes about rather awkwardly, as if she really didn't want to answer the question.
  3005. >"Well..."
  3006. >She continued to look around, and then motioned for Applejack to come closer so she could whisper to her.
  3007. >"Mr. Sanders found out that his baby batter is lacking sugar, and he's reeeeeeally sad about it!"
  3008. >Applejack, absolutely mortified, gasped.
  3009. >"Ya don't mean-"
  3010. >Unfortunately, she did mean.
  3011. >With this revelation, Applejack couldn't help but be brought to tears.
  3012. >"Ah didn't know it was that bad! I feel so bad for him, he'll never know the joy of havin' a family!"
  3013. >Pretty soon, Pinkie Pie was bawling on your behalf.
  3014. >"I'LL NEVER GET TO SEE A CUTE HUMAN BABBY!"
  3015.  
  3016. >Later that week, you found the strength to finally get out of bed.
  3017. >With that hurdle passed, you weren't too sure what to do with yourself at the moment...
  3018. >You thought about it for a moment, and you decided you were going to go have a smoke.
  3019. >You grabbed your pipe, some tobacco, some matches, and you were off.
  3020.  
  3021. >About an hour later, you were at your thoughtful spot.
  3022. >A secluded part of the Everfree Forest with a wide opening in the canopy.
  3023. >You set up a log to sit your ass on and you built a firepit.
  3024. >Your wife didn't like it when you made fires near the house, and she certainly didn't appreciate your smoking.
  3025. >So, that's why you got this set up.
  3026.  
  3027.  
  3028. >You built a fire, packed your pipe, and lit up.
  3029. >With your little bonfire going, you grabbed a nearby stick and prodded into the glowing hot coals beneath the firewood.
  3030. >Watching the embers and the sparks jump and move about, the crackling of the flames, you couldn't help but feel a warm fuzzy feeling deep within you.
  3031. >The feeling was hardly unique to you, there's just something comforting about being within the aura of a good bonfire.
  3032. >Top that with some good tobacco, all your troubles seem to be carried off with the smoke that was flowing away from your settlement.
  3033. >This would keep up for about another half-hour...
  3034. >Until you heard the ruffling of leaves and the crunching of twigs somewhere behind you.
  3035. >The good feels were gone, and now you were paranoid.
  3036. >You took a look behind you, there was no sign of anyone being there.
  3037. >Do you dare call out to the sound?
  3038. "'Ello! Anyone out there?"
  3039. >Of course, there was no response.
  3040. >You dismissed the sound as being nothing more than a wandering animal and went back to playing with the fire.
  3041. >It was here that you noticed that your tobacco was spent.
  3042. >So you dumped the ashes, and packed in some more of the leaf.
  3043. >Just as you lit up your new smoke and inhaled, something managed to fly into your pants and into your asscrack.
  3044. "BLOODY-!"
  3045. >You jumped up in surprise, so far and high that your foot landed in the fire.
  3046. "FECK!"
  3047. >After slapping out your foot, and some swearing like a sailor, you heard chuckling coming out of the forest.
  3048. "Wot the hell... WHO GOES THERE!"
  3049. >That's when a little orange filly comes out of the woodwork.
  3050. >"Hehehe... Sorry, I didn't think you'd react like that".
  3051.  
  3052. >It was Scootaloo, brilliant.
  3053. >Another little ankle biter to kick you while you were down.
  3054. "What the- What in the world are you doing all the way out here?"
  3055. >"I was curious to see where you were going, and of course here's where I found you and that big old butt of yours".
  3056. "My word, how dare you!"
  3057. >All she could do was chuckle at you and your bit of misfortune.
  3058. "Do your parents know that you're out this far in such a dangerous place? What do you think they would say about this?"
  3059. >After you said that, Scootaloo was visibly uncomfortable.
  3060. >"I.... I don't know".
  3061. >Is this her way of refusing to answer your question?
  3062. "What in the world do you mean you don't know?"
  3063. >Then you noticed that tears began to fill up her eyes.
  3064. >What the hell gives?
  3065. >And then you realized what an insensitive fecking plonker you were.
  3066. "Oh mother-"
  3067. >You had to stop yourself, you didn't want to be the one to teach the child vulgar language.
  3068. >Now you had to keep her from bawling her eyes out.
  3069. >She's sniffling now, you better act fast.
  3070. "Oh dear, I'm terribly- you know... would you like some candy?"
  3071. >Her eyes lit up, and her sniveling subsided.
  3072. >Despite your being without a snack, you were glad that shut her up.
  3073.  
  3074. >You spent the better part of an hour sitting by the fire, comforting the little filly and getting to know her a little better.
  3075. >Seeing how well socialized she was, you would've never expected her to have been an orphan.
  3076. >After hearing her life story, she was curious about your life before.
  3077. >"So, what was your life like before you ended up here?"
  3078. >Here we go.
  3079. >Truth be told, you were afraid of making the little filly jealous.
  3080. >After all, you had a pretty good life, you find.
  3081. >You were, dare you say, 'privileged'.
  3082.  
  3083.  
  3084. >So you spent the next hour, talking about your life in London, your happily married parents, your old chaps from your school days, your travels abroad in the old world...
  3085. >And of course, you spoke about your very last day on Earth...
  3086. >The day you were murdered, and sent to what at first seemed to be a technicolor Hell.
  3087. >"I'm sorry to hear that all that was taken away from you".
  3088. "It's nothing to worry about, really, after all, I was taken away to someplace better".
  3089. >"You think this is better, after all you've been through?"
  3090. "In the end, I find I've been able to build myself a happy life here. Blimey, I've even made friends with the folks that once despised me".
  3091. >"Even Rainbow Dash, after what she did to you?"
  3092. >Oh Lord, that.
  3093. >"Yeah, I heard all about that..."
  3094. "She gave me a bloody drubbin', she did".
  3095. >The little filly couldn't help but chuckle, even if it was at your expense.
  3096. >Now with the fire dying down, it seemed it was time to start making your way home.
  3097. "Shall I walk you back into town?"
  3098. >"Sure thing Mr. Sanders!"
  3099. >To be quite honest, she was doing most of the guiding, she knew this forest a lot better than you did.
  3100. >After you parted ways and you headed home, you got to pondering about the fact that she was an orphan.
  3101. >You were infertile, your wife's motherly instincts were starting to kick in...
  3102. >Little Scoots evidently longs for a mother and father, a family...
  3103. >It only made sense that you adopted her.
  3104.  
  3105. >Only a couple of weeks later, after your home was prepared to take on a third resident, you and Hatsune had arrived at the orphanage, signed all the papers, and brought home a little orange filly.
  3106. >The precious little girl was absolutely ecstatic of the fact that she finally had a family of her own.
  3107. >Hatsune carried her, while you carried all of her belongings in a bugout bag.
  3108. >"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, ohmygosh! I never thought anyone would adopt me!"
  3109. >"How could we not! Especially such an adorable little thing like you!"
  3110. >"You know, I never thought I'd be calling you two 'Mom and Dad', it feels pretty weird to be honest".
  3111. "And I'm sure neither of us would've ever expected to be adopting a Pone for a daughter, so we have quite a bit to get used to as well".
  3112. >"Umm... Mr. Sanders... erm... Dad? There's one thing I never mentioned, I sort of have a sister".
  3113. "Why haven't I heard of this? We'd have been happy to adopt her as well! Is she your age?"
  3114. >"No... she's quite a bit older".
  3115. "Who is your sister anyways?"
  3116. >"Well, she's not exactly related..."
  3117. >"But we're still pretty close!"
  3118. >Literally out of the blue, Rainbow Dash appeared.
  3119. >"So glad you decided to take her on as your own... Dad... hahaha!"
  3120. >You felt your heart sink, just a little.
  3121. "Oh...bother".
  3122. >It was going to be a very taxing... however many years Scootaloo has left until she reaches maturity.
  3123. >Scoots certainly wasn't going to let you get fat again, that's for sure.
  3124.  
  3125.  
  3126. >Several weeks later, the day had finally come.
  3127. >As soon as you heard of what had happened, you went to inform Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie that you would be quitting your jobs with them.
  3128. >You approached Twilight, and she gave you your instructions.
  3129.  
  3130. >She accompanied you over to the processing facility, escorted by a squad of the Royal Guard.
  3131. >Upon entering the compound, you were simply awestruck at the situation that was presented to you.
  3132. >No less than one hundred persons of all backgrounds had been rounded up.
  3133. >Some younger, some older.
  3134. >Some from civilized countries, some from the developing world.
  3135. >You assessed the situation, and were relieved that you had so many camps built.
  3136. >"Shall we go greet them?"
  3137. "Guess it's about time".
  3138.  
  3139. >Quite a few of them were scared out of their minds, while others were somewhat confrontational with the guards.
  3140. >People seem to have differing reactions to finding theirselves in such alien places.
  3141. >Speaking of confrontational, one pissy bimbo, possibly American, was giving the guards a particularly hard time.
  3142. >"What the hell is the meaning of this, horsie boy? Why am I being treated like a criminal?"
  3143. >"We're just screening... erm... 'immigrants' for undesirable behavior".
  3144. >"Do I look undesirable to you!?"
  3145. >"I wasn't saying that".
  3146. >"So this 'screening' shouldn't apply to me, right? Because I'm not a fucking criminal!"
  3147. "We don't know what".
  3148. >It was then that you and Princess Twilight had made your presence known.
  3149.  
  3150.  
  3151. "Making yourselves quite comfortable, I see..."
  3152. >When you spoke, everyone stopped what they were doing, and listened.
  3153. >Never before had you been able to command such authority.
  3154. >It was a rather strange feeling, unnerving even.
  3155. >Nonetheless, your first impression still hadn't concluded.
  3156. "I'll be working on the assumption that you can all understand English, otherwise, I hope you have interpreters that can help you..."
  3157. >There was only one small group that needed their friend to translate for them.
  3158. >You couldn't really make out the language, but judging by the Semitic (as in Middle Eastern, not necessarily Jewish) and European looks of each person in the group, you could only assume that they were Iranian.
  3159. "Now I'm also assuming that you lot also have no idea where you are, or why you are being held here, if you don't mind paying attention to the erm- Princess of Friendship, she shall provide for you a presentation explaining everything".
  3160. >The little purple Alicorn stepped up to the center of the stage, somewhat timidly, and prepared to give her own speech.
  3161. >You could hear various conversations throughout the crowd, they all had mixed reactions, positive ones no doubt, to seeing this little mare for the first time.
  3162. >Some were fascinated, seeing a real life unicorn... Alicorn.
  3163. >Some were fawning in adoration.
  3164. >"Greetings! I am Twilight Sparkle, and I would like to cordially invite you to our country, Equestria...."
  3165. >She continued her speech, while her little dragon assistant kept a slideshow running.
  3166. >There were some mixed reactions throughout the crowd...
  3167. >Some had a little chuckle, some were feeling a sense of guilt, despite not doing anything.
  3168. >"Oy vey, looks like they gots themselves some reasons to hate us".
  3169. >"Wirklich jetzt?"
  3170. >¡Dios mío!
  3171. >"Putain de merde".
  3172. >Oh brilliant, we've got Jews, Germans, Spaniards, and Frenchmen in the audience, we'd better keep them separate.
  3173.  
  3174.  
  3175. >The most important part of the presentation had now come up.
  3176. "Lads, if you are to make your transition into Equestrian life as seemless as possible, it's time you let go of your previous religious convictions..."
  3177. >There were a couple of gasps from the audience.
  3178. >This was something you had to expect.
  3179. "Just think about this logically for a second, you have died in the old world, and have ended up here, I'm certain that no religious text anywhere in our world says that the afterlife is a world of candy colored horses".
  3180. >A few nods of agreement could be seen in the crowd.
  3181. >"He's kinda got a point".
  3182. >"Yea".
  3183. >The Jewish bloke, who seemed to be from New York, was looking rather relieved.
  3184. >Seemed rather strange...
  3185. >That reminded you of something that you felt really needed mentioning...
  3186. "One more thing..."
  3187. >Everyone, once again, went silent to listen to you.
  3188. "I highly recommend that you use this time to wash your hands of your old lives, now is the time to start life anew, a clean slate as they would say. Now is the time to let go of old grievances, of old guilt, of old victimhood..."
  3189. >Everyone in the crowd looked at one another, confused.
  3190. "You owe nothing, and are owed nothing...
  3191. >And with that, orientation had concluded.
  3192.  
  3193. >As all the final tallies had been taken, you had recorded 133 persons.
  3194. >Most were young adults, men and women, some older, but none that were particularly elderly.
  3195. >A good chunk of them were Western, there were the blokes from Europe, a few Americans, Canadians, and Australians... and Scots (feck)...
  3196. >A couple of Swedes, a sad, lonely Fin.
  3197. >Fortunately for him, there was also an Estonian bloke to keep him company.
  3198. >A fair number were from the Asian Far East, mainly Chinamen, and Koreans.
  3199. >Your Dearest Hatsune will be glad to hear about that /sarcasm.
  3200. >A young couple from the Punjab.
  3201. >A few from Central Asia.
  3202. >There was a small group from Africa, Nigerians judging by the two in uniform.
  3203. >The Equestrians would most certainly be excited to see them.
  3204. >But not as excited as they would be to see more of their East European friends...
  3205. >Yep, there were a few of those guys as well, but not as many as there were the first time.
  3206. >A few Russians, Ukrainians, Poles, Czechs, a single Croat, and a couple of Bosniaks.
  3207. >Some of them happened to be in army uniforms as well.
  3208. >Thankfully, this lot seemed to be pretty tame.
  3209. >However, there was one person of interest, and Twilight was quite eager to point them out to you.
  3210. >It was an infant, a baby boy.
  3211. >Couldn't have been older than six months.
  3212. >"Mr. Sanders, is this really a human baby?"
  3213. >You had a very hard time believing your eyes.
  3214. >You were overcome with astonishment, joy even, but those good feelings soon drained right after you made the realization...
  3215. >Everyone that made it here died in the old world, and this poor little lad was probably no exception.
  3216. >It just broke your damn heart.
  3217.  
  3218.  
  3219. >Apparently, the child didn't come with his parents.
  3220. >"Anon, what do you suppose we should do?"
  3221. >We?
  3222. >This child was your responsibility.
  3223. "Hatsune and I shall adopt him, and raise him as our own".
  3224. >"Well, okay, if you think you can handle it..."
  3225. >Seceretly, Twilight was excited, now she's able to do research on human child-rearing practices.
  3226. >Not only that, Scoots would be excited that she would be getting another sibling.
  3227. >You will never forget the look on her face, how her eyes almost literally lit up, upon meeting Little Nonny.
  3228. >She waited this long for a family, and she got it, complete with a younger sibling.
  3229. >'What a deal!' she must've thought.
  3230.  
  3231. >The next few months went rather smoothly, with each group of migrant humans making noticeable progress in making their new homes livable.
  3232. >Some were even deemed civilized enough to come see Equestrian society for themselves.
  3233. >Granted, some mistakes were made, like when you had brought the Indian couple out into the world.
  3234. >I think most folks know where this is going.
  3235. >You had yourself a little chuckle after the fact, and joked with Twilight about it.
  3236. "I suppose what he did was an honest mistake, after all, the horses in our world defecate in the street all the toime..."
  3237. >Needless to say, she wasn't flattered.
  3238. >Then another time, a Scottish fellow was rather miffed.
  3239. >You don't remember what ticked him off, but he decided he was going to take his rage out on the Englishman.
  3240. >That being you.
  3241. >You remember that it went something like this...
  3242. >"GIT YER ARSE BACK HERE SO EYE CAN KICK IT YE ANGLISH CONT!
  3243. "Fecking shite, help me!"
  3244. >Thankfully for you, your martial artist wife was there to put him in his place.
  3245. >Evidently, many challenges would await you...
  3246. >But you had many friends to help you along the way.
  3247.  
  3248.  
  3249. >A couple of months later, Pinkie Pie would be taking a trip out of town to visit her family.
  3250. >As she approached her family's farm, something seemed a bit off.
  3251. >Her Pinkie senses must've been tingling.
  3252. >As she made it onto the homestead, so could hear an eerily familiar song...
  3253. >Coming from an eerily familiar accordion...
  3254. >As she came into view of the front porch, she found her sister, Maud, sitting down with an eerily familiar human.
  3255. >It was the Serb, from the first posse of Slavs that had invaded Ponyville.
  3256. >She and everyone thought he was dead with the rest of them!
  3257. >After hiding for a few minutes, she finally mustered up the courage to approach them.
  3258. >"Umm, h-hey Maud!"
  3259. >"Oh, hello Pinkie, I see you've met our new friend".
  3260. >The mere sight of this man sent chills throughout her body, the original fear she had for humans was beginning to resurface.
  3261. >"I... ahem... I do b-believe we've met before... How did he end up here?"
  3262. >"We've only had him here for a few months..."
  3263. >And then she went into his story for him...
  3264. >Apparently he never planned on dying as everyone had assumed.
  3265. >He originally planned on living out the remainder of his life here as a hermit somewhere in Everfree.
  3266. >How he survived his stab wound, no one can really explain.
  3267. >Marble had actually found him, emaciated at the edge of their property, wearing nothing but some of his tattered old clothes and some animal's fur, scouring for a bite to eat.
  3268. >They took him in, and nursed him back to health.
  3269. >He was planning on being on his way, but the family found use for him, and so he stayed and worked for them.
  3270. >But that wasn't the only reason he stayed...
  3271.  
  3272. >As soon as Maud finished telling Novislav's life story, Marble came out.
  3273. >When he saw her, an absolutely unthinkable thing occurred, something that Pinkie, nor anyone, could've ever expected to happen.
  3274. >The stoic Serb cracked a smile.
  3275.  
  3276. >"Oh, hello Pinkie, I see you've met the, umm- newest member of the family..."
  3277. >He picked her up, and nuzzled her.
  3278. >She giggled, and nuzzled him back.
  3279. >The confused Pinkie Pie could not believe her eyes.
  3280. >"We're about to go inside to have supper, are you coming?"
  3281. >"We'll be there in a minute".
  3282. >As the Serb picked her up and carried her inside, Pinkie Pie was still suspended with disbelief.
  3283. >"Are they actually-?"
  3284. >"-Yes".
  3285. >Pinkie Pie was speechless.
  3286. >"They really do make a great couple..."
  3287. >"I... I can kinda see".
  3288. >"You know what she's told me about him?"
  3289. >"What?"
  3290. >"That he's very good in the stones..."
  3291. >Pinkie attempted to stifle her horrified gasp.
  3292. >"With his stones... Her words, not mine".
  3293. >It took Pinkie every ounce of her being to keep from fainting.
  3294. >Maud, seeing her sister's distress at the situation, tried to console her.
  3295. >"Pinkie, I can see that you don't exactly approve of Marble's relationship".
  3296. >She struggled to compose herself.
  3297. >"I really do want to see her happy, I really do, but this... human... well, let's just say that I've had some bad experiences with his kind".
  3298. >Das raycis.
  3299. >"He's not dangerous, he actually saved her life before, all our lives".
  3300. >"He did?"
  3301. >A large creature of an unknown sort made it's way onto the farm, and he fought it bare-fisted.
  3302. >He didn't kill it, but it certainly wasn't going to come back.
  3303. >"I'm pretty sure he took a few years off it's life, it was certainly exciting to see".
  3304. >"Wow, he would do all that for us?"
  3305.  
  3306. >Pinkie pondered on this story for a few moments.
  3307. >It would seem that just like you, Mr. Sanders, Novislav had redeemed himself, and his kind.
  3308. >"But what about-"
  3309. >"Mom and Dad? Surprisingly, they were okay with this little breaking of tradition".
  3310. >The man must've been really trustworthy then.
  3311. >"And Lime?"
  3312. >"She actually really likes him too, he keeps her entertained with his war stories".
  3313. >It's also very unusual that she actually ever warms up to anyone.
  3314. >"Come on now, let's go eat".
  3315. >Perhaps Pinkie will be able to get a little more comfortable with Novislav after getting to know him.
  3316. >And what better way to build a friendship than over a meal.
  3317. >This inter-species relationship Marble was having with him was going to need some getting used to.
  3318. >But as long as she was happy, and the family was happy, Pinkie Pie was happy.
  3319.  
  3320. END
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