Thread 14: Stories 1-15

Thread 14 archive: http://archive.heinessen.com/mlp/thread/17077404
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>Chrysalis
"Cadence"
[SA]
{Celestia}
~~~

>DAMN IT!

"Chrysalis hot tub time is-"

>Stuff it, I need something to do.

"Shiny not an option?"

>He locked his door again with himself and Celestia inside. So no.

"Baby."

>Pfft, so naive.

"...What do you mean?"

>Think about it. Stallions got needs, Caddy. And wouldn't you know it, you both agreed she's the "Celebrity exception", and they're so close now.

"We both know she can't-"

>Not in the normal way, no. But think about it, he's pent up, she's more than willing to get anything he'll throw at her, it's not cheating, they're alone...

"...Hmmmm... what would that be like..."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

[Damn, Celly, you see all dis shit I gotta deal with YO?]

{Sheeeeeeeet, you's got paypas to the ceilin'!}

[Bitch you ain't just muffin-bluffin! Man, and I ain't even got me none o' dat pink in forevah!]

{Wassat homie?}

[My old lady ain't given me NOTTIN, not even a hoofie! She mah' boo, but damn I'm pent up.]

{Ahhh, hell, why didn't ya' jus' say so! Ah' got this.}

[What'chu on? Cause you need ta' roll up and share! I said I like my chicken crispy, not my D!]

{Do it look like I'm offering you some o' my Sunny C? There's two sides to the horse home boy!}

[Oh shit, you talkin' bout...]

{Hell yeah, Ah'm bout to give you some tender cuddlin' mouth hugs!}

[Ah shit, you the best Tia!]

{Shit, I know it! You think I'm top bitch o' Canterlot for nothin'}

[You bout to be top bitch o' NUTTIN', am I right?]

{DAAAAMN! Tha's good boy! Now lean back- WOO, you excited!}

[You know it! C'mere, get yer' big mouth in there!]

{OMF!}

[Damn! My boo don't never go that deep, or at all! AWWWWWW YEAAAAAAHH!]

∞∞∞∞∞∞

"...That's ridiculous! None of us eat chicken, and Shiny would never get a gold tooth! It's madness!"

>...Why were they wearing baseball caps and gold chains?

"...H-how did you see..."
>...
"..."

Without another word, Chrysalis stood up, and she left.

And this was never spoken of again.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
“Celestia”
______

>Hey, Celly, gotta question.

“Hey, AJ, gotta gun.”

>…is… is that Spike’s? Ain’t that Charity?

“Hm? No, I wouldn’t dream of using that thing. It’s an experimental pistol from Twilight’s lab. I was looking for something that would definitely knock me out with one shot and found this gem here with a large, red skull and crossbones! It also has a revolving chamber which means I also get to experience that rush again, watch!”

*spinnnnn-CLICK!*

“HA! But, oh yes… your question…?”

>Y’all scare me sometimes.

“Not a question, dear.”

>…Ah wanted to get yer’ thoughts about this, uh… this situation with Gwen.

*spinnnn-CLICK!*

“Hahaha, I missed this… And what about her? Is she doing anything unscrupulous?”

>Not exactly that, jus’ she’s takin’ a likin’ to 56.

“Ooookay?”

>Well, Ah was thinkin’ this could be beneficial to us in a way, ease relations between Gryphon and Changeling.

“I don’t think that’ll go anywhere, honestly. Know why? Here’s why. Gwen is the Queen of her people and, like I see Two, she probably views 56 as a way to keep her mind off things, get through the day without clawing a motherfucker.”

>…Actually, unlike you, Ah think she likes 56.

“I like Two.”

>No. She really, really likes 56.

“…Ooooh, you mean like how you really, really like spike.”

>…
“…”

>That's… huh. Alright, ya win this round, Celly.

*spinnnnn-CLICK!*

“Not yet I haven’t.”
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>SA
"Mane-iac"
'Chrysalis'
~~~

>Well, that was a mite embarrassing.

"AAAHHHAHAHAHAH! FALL BEFORE ME!"

>They did. They fell. They're in the 'fallen' category. It happened.

'And, again, it was awesome! I love that gal!'

"AAAAHAHAHAH! SOOOON! SOOOON I SHALL-Shoot!... how'd I do?"

>Well, seeing as both the Canterlot guard and my Crystal guard are both down, each one a set of ten at that, I'd say you did good. Good good good. Scary, but good.

'See that? "oh no, Chrysalis, surely she wouldn't know how to actually fight, she's from a comic book!" HAH! Comics are nothing BUT fighting, Shiny!'

>I thought it was 'looks good on paper but is dumb in reality' fighting. Not... actually beat up ponies fighting.

'Shows what you know!'

>Indeed. Well, I kind of don't want to drag her away from Canterlot...

"Please? My only friend is here!"

>...Shit, right, you two actually hang out and stuff.

"She is AMAZING or shopping days. Holds every bag without complaint, and she is just a ball to hang out with. Reminds me of myself, actually."

>Well, I do want you to make more friends...

"Pleeeeeease?"

'Pleeeeeeeeease? I'll suck you off!... HAH! Get it? Cause I... with the love thing...'

"I don't get it."

>...Fine, you can hang out here.

"MWAHAHAHAH! I HAVE INFILTRATED THE FORTRESS OF JUSTICE'S GEM WALLS! AND NOW, I CAN DESTROY-... Curses! No! No destroying! Thank you for the opportunity, is what I meant."

>You're welcome....

"...What?"

>You're not going to try and shove her in my bed, right? That was only funny once.

"Oh sweet Chitania's earth shattering backside, no. No no no. None of that. Her hair chokes things in her sleep. She stays out of the bed."

>Wow, finally something we agree on.

'...'

>...Oh, go ahead, you earned it.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"...You realize 42 and 77 are going to be mad at you, right?"

>For what? Giving the soldiers such an excellent training session? Why, they'll thank me, that's what they'll do.

'If you say so.'

'-HAHAHAHAHAHAH-'
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>Celestia
"Applejack"
~~~
"Hey, Celestia, Ah got a question- Is that a new pistol?"

>Yes. Twilight told me not to grab it but she's not the boss of me.

"Uhhh, maybe ya'll outta li-"

Spiiiiinnnnnnn-

BANG!

PERSONA!

>... This is interesting...

"Awww... fuck ya, Celly."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtmHuDQC8I8
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http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Tq2ftP1FRU
Sorry about this, my voice ain't doing so well at the moment it seems.

Real shame since I really want to do the Shining Armor, Sombra, and Gaffer strategy meeting.

Guess who took a blind stab at the Gaffer, Shiny, and Sombra meeting!
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1SS0XuFNDuf

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1nsF5faxAzs
>Picture related: what I imagined Gaffer's character looks like
>Maybe it wasn't just envy of Shiny afterall?
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>32
"42"

It's amazing how a locale can shift itself according to the persons occupying it. A dingy basement can become a home if shared with family and friends, a dinner table becomes a battlefield if shared between estranged individuals, and on and on.

In this particular case a hallway in Canterlot castle had become a street at high noon as two changelings regarded one another icily.

>Sister.

"32."

>...I assume you've been informed, I've accepted the Gun Club's invitation.

"Took you long enough, what made you come around?"

>Let's just say our tuber-loving sister has a surprising way with words...and choke holds. In any case it can be safely assumed we will be working in a relatively close proximity to each other. Which is why I am here.

"Yeah?"

>I would like to offer a truce, so to speak. I freely admit I've been-

"Stubborn? Pigheaded? A complete dumbass?"

>...Confrontational. And for that I apologize. In time I hope you can forgive my rebelliousness, as can 77. If we are to work together as a cohesive force, we cannot be looking to stab each other in the back.

"Well, apology accepted, but I'm not trusting you until you apologize to who you really should."

>The Queen.

"Yes, the Queen."

>In due time, sister, I know my anger was somewhat misdirected but those wounds run deeper than you know.

"Look."

32 was surprised at the speed with which the helmeted changeling closed the gap between them. Her eyes were narrowed with intensity as she put a hoof on his shoulder.

"I'm willing to give you this chance, despite your seriously annoying personality. But let's get one thing straight, you do anything, ANYTHING, to hurt the Queen or the Hive again, you're going to be a smear on the bottom of my hoof. Are we clear?"

>...crystal.

"Good. See me if you'd like a spar some time, I think I owe you a beating or two."

32 blinked as 42 walked past him, a smirk on her face.

>Sister!

"Hm?"

>...do you have to use three times the oil to keep that drain pipe on your noggin from rusting?

32 grinned as 42 gave him a death stare, then rolled her eyes.

"You asshole..."
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>SA
"Various Changelings"
~~~~~

>...

"...Sooooo... we uh, we heard you were putting together a super-team?"

>Considering it.

"...Any... openings you want to fill?"

>...Aren't you the guys that pretended to be Spike at the Gala?

"That's right! I'm RAINBOLT RED!"

"BLUE!"

"GREEN!"

"YELLOW!"

"INDIGO!"

*In unison*"RAINBOLTS TOKUSENTAI!"

*RAINBOOOOOOOOM!*

>...

"...Shouldn't have set that off in the office, should we?"

>*KAFF*... You should not.

"Can we still keep being your Rainbolts? We like this job."

"First time we actually felt like we were part of a team in FOREVER."

"And we even get to look different!"

"Pleeeeease?"

>...Fine. You guys can be the, er, B-team, I guess. I might have to go ask Twilight for some kind of arsenal for you, though.

"YES!"

"KICKASS!"

"ELATED NOISES!"

"Does this mean we get cake?"

*in unison* "YELLOOOOOW!"

>...Meh. Still the best air force I've ever had.
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>Spike
"Twi"
'DT'
{PJ}
[77]
(42)
-32-
~~~
[Our little club certainly has grown quite a bit recently, hasn't it?]

'Frankly, I kind of liked it when it was just the four of us, you know? Felt special and exclusive, and before one of us turned out to be a pigheaded jackass!'

-I already apologized to everyone but Chrysalis!-

>She means me.

"I do worry about how this bad blood will affect your performance together."

(Look, you and PJ forgave Spike, so her issues with him are obviously not gonna be fixed easily.)

'Sure they can be! I just want to see him suffer in public humiliation the way I did!'

{Nphmphn mph mphphn hph mph!}

'Doesn't matter! I still felt, and still feel humiliated! violated! I was made a part of some degenerate beast's harem fantasy!'

-She has issues, doesn't she?-

[More than 10's The Hive Gazette.]

SLAM!

"CALL SPIKE A DENGERATE BEAST AGAIN. I DARE YOU-"

>TWILIGHT! ... Get that costume.

"Spike? why are you-"

>Please Twilight. I did wrong all of you that night, so I still owe something to each of you. And gather everyone, as many as you can...

later, at Canterlot Stadium...

The light goes on to reveal Spike, a badass hero on the rise, a child of the dragons... Wearing an adorable lamb outfit.

>Weeeeeeell!...
>Who wants a lamby lamby lamby?
>I do! I do!

>So go up and greet your Mammy Mammy Mammy!
>Hi there! Hi there!

>So march march march around the daisies!
>And don't you forget about the baaaaaaby!

'Hahahaha! You look so stupid! In front of everyone! You look so stupid, spike! Doesn't he look stupid, 42? ... 42?'

(HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!!!!)
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>Chrysalis
"2"
~~~~

The slamming of the door was like a thunderbolt going off.

That is, loud, flashy, and caused more damage than anyone wanted.

>...Whoops.

"Shiny's gonna be mad you broke his door."

>When he wakes up, sure.

"Huh?"

>I SAID STORY TIIIIIIME!

"YAAAAY!"

>This is the tale of Momsie... and the town so broken!

"Ooo!"

>It all started as Momsie traversed the land of Sequestria. Specifcally, as she traversed high, hiiiiigh into the mountains, where glaciers of ice and fields of snow were all around.

"Why'd she go there?"

>Easier to hide the bo... she liked the snow. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. All was going well, she had spotted a town, put on her best disguise, and prepared her citizens to go into that town and... 'dance' until they couldn't feel their back legs anymore! She was sure to get alllll the love she could ever want. But there was a problem!

"GASP!"

>You say that now, but you're really going to gasp when you find out what she found out!

"What?"

>The town... was COMPLETELY DESERTED! Barren! Ripped apart and empty! Except for the hu-... er, no, it was just empty. No dried out bo-... no nothing. It was just empty. Got it?

"Yeah?"

>Good. Just making sure we're clear on that. But I lied! It wasn't totally empty!

"What was there!?"

>With a thunderous explosion and the shaking of the earth, an entire BUILDING collapsed! revealing the one who had ki- DISAPPEARED everyone!

"Who was it!?"

>It was... Ch-...THUNTANIA, the strongest Changeling alive!

"Even stronger than Momsie!?"

>Much!...Physically, at least. She wasn't really all that great with spells, or disguising, or abilities. But she was STRONG! She could crack a rock the size of the castle on her worst days no problem! And you know what else?

"What?"

>She was Momsies... SISTER!

"GAAAAAAAAAAASP!"

>Well, sort of. The were sisters in the BROAD sense, but... you know what? I'm over complicating this, and it sounds better just straight. Let's just say artistic license. YES! She was Momsies sister! And now... SHE WAS HEADING RIGHT FOR HER!

"OH NO!"

>Oh YES! But Momsie was a quick one, yes she was! She dodged out of the way, unlike her minions!

"..."

>....w-whooooo she did not bring, because it was too dangerous.

"WHEW!"

>She chased Momsie through the town, Momsie making her smash every last one in the hopes she would slow her down... NO GOOD! Thuntania didn't give a FUUUUuuuudge about those buildings! BOOM! CRACK! SMASH! LIKE TOYS THEY WERE! And Momsie's blasts did nothing! Bouncing off her massive chitinous hide like RAINDROPS!

"What could she do!?"

>The only thing she COULD do! She flew! She flew higher and higher, and hiiiigher into the air. Thuntania couldn't fly all that well, but she sure had endurance! She chased Momsie to the very tip top of the icy mountain, and there they stared each other down! Nowhere else to go! But Momsie wasn't alone! A stu- braaave Changeling had rushed to her aid, and stood beside her in battle, pledging to do whatever it took!

"AND THEN!?"

>Momsie grabbed the Changeling and she... w-watched. She WATCHED as that Changeling ignited HIMSELF ALL ON HIS OWN, or it might've been a her, who knows. Point is, they ignited themselves with magic, and Momsie chu- WATCHED as the Changeling heroically and OF THEIR ON VOLITION flew towards Thuntania, erupting is a massive explosion of snow! The ice cracked open wide, and this was just the opening Momsie needed! A single blast to Thuntania's wings, and down... down... doooown she went, and all around her the snow piled on. Using every drop of her magic, she closed the glacier, and there was no way out for Thuntania, ever. Changelings slow down in the cold, and with all of that ice, all the power in the world didn't matter. She was trapped... forever.

"S-s-she... DIED!?"

>...N-nooooo! Who told you that? Don't cut me off silly! The guards arrived, and were like "Smashing up that town and scaring everyone off is SUPER ILLEGAL, thank you Momsie for helping us!" and they Chiseled her out, and locked her up and threw away the key! The day was saved, thanks to MOMSIE!... and the other Changeling was fine too. He got a medal.

"YAAAAY!...Wait, why did Thuntania go crazy in the first place?"

>...OH! Um... well, uh, some Queen Changelings got paranoid in the later years and... you know what? She just wanted to take over the world. That was her thing. Meanie.

"Meanie!"

>Alright, time for bed!

"*YAAAAAWN*! Okay, Not-mom... tell Shiny I hope his head feels better."

>Not sure how that's going to help with all the pills Cadence put in the soup, but I'll tell him anyway. Night!

"Nighty... don't get too paranoid, Not-Mon, I don't wanna put you in a ice cube...

>....No promises

".....zzzz."

>...Little bugger.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
“Celestia”
‘AJ56’
________

>…Okay. Allllright, alright, alright. Ah’m gonna assume there’s a reason for this…?

“Whatever do you mean, Applejack? I’m doing all this ghastly paperwork like you demanded me to do. What issue do you have now?”

>Really...? Yer’ gonna make me ask?

“Ask what? Why I’m using my left hoof instead of my right? I’m ambidextrous, didn't you know? Comes in handy for a lot of things, like switching it up for a quick surprise back in the d-”

>LALALALALAdon’tcare! Ah mean, why is 56 wearin’ glasses and a lab coat, carryin’ a clipboard and proddin’ yer’ rump with a pen?

“Oh. That. Funny story about that. This little guy here thinks he can find a way to fix my, erm… my problem.”

>…yer’ problem? What problem?

“Nothing big really, just that I happen to roast whatever touches me in an intimate fashion.”

>…

Nodding to himself, 56 jotted down a few scribbles before rubbing his cheeks against the outer portion of Celestia’s rear-end, adding in a couple experimental nibbles that yielded no celebratory results but did make the solar princess groan a bit.

‘Uh-huh… uh-huh, yes, I see, fascinating…. Don’t worry, sunbutt! I’m sure I can figure out a way to solve your problem! I can- no, I WILL save this booty!’

“Bless him but he is trying.”

Applejack stared from the Changeling decked out in what she suspected was a garb raided from Twilight, then turned her tired gaze back to Celestia.

>Ah'm sure it's obvious but… y’all know he’s never gonna find a solution, right?

“Of course, but at this point, I’ll gladly cling onto a false ho- aaaaanh~…”

‘What? What’d I do? Did I bite too hard?’

“N-no, but maybe if you nibbled a bit closer to the center you’d get a better result, 56.”

>…

‘Really, ya think so? Hm, lemme try….’

A sharp hissing noise rose into the air and 56 reared back, a good portion of his face steaming and half his glasses disintegrated. The Changeling blinked, then turned his notes, flipping back a few pages to an earlier excerpt.

‘Hm, so my previous estimate of a two-second submergence being fatal was wrong… I can withstand two and a half before the pain kicks in. Progress!’

“Progress indeed!”

>…Anyway y’all can get it, eh ‘Tia?

“Damn right.”

>Well, so long as yer’ workin’, Ah guess… But please don’t kill him. He’s one of the few Ah actually look after like a brother.

“You’re implying 56 can d- nnnngh~… die. I don’t know what Hive this one came from but they must’ve been of an immortal breed, goodness.”

‘Hrmm, I may need to get some pliers or something….’

“Oh goody, toys!”

>56, no. Bad boy, get away from there, it’s foul.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"DT"
'42'
-32-
~~~
After the performance ended with Spike limping back stage with he remains of his pride to the cascades of laughter of everyone on the continent and then some, he meets with Diamond Tiara and the rest of the Gun Club

>So... Do you feel better?

"Hmmm... One more thing!"

Diamond Tiara grabs her rocket launcher

And blinks when it's pulled out of her grasp and 42 begins beating the snot out of her

'LISTEN HERE YOU PUNK-FACED, SPOILED, CUNT! SPIKE'S BENT OVER BACKWARDS AND TAKEN IT UP THE ASS NOT EVEN TO BE FORGIVEN, BUT TO MAKE THE UNGRATEFUL, DRIBBLING, IMMATURE BITCH YOU ARE HAPPY! AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO STILL DEMAND MORE FROM HIM?!'

After several tries, 42 is finally pulled off by the rest of the Gun Club sans Spike who instead tends to DT's injuries immediately

'LOOK AT THAT! AFTER THE SHIT YOU PUT HIM THROUGH HE'S STILL HELPING YOU!'

After a great effort, 32 was able to break away when Shining Armor, Celestia, Luna, and Chrysalis joined in the effort to rein 42 in

>DT? Are you gonna be okay? I'm sorry about that, I didn't think 42 would ever react like that.

"... What the hell just happened?"

-I believe you just found out the hard way what happens when the Hound beaks her chain after you bait it one too many times. In the words of your generation: you just got served, bitch.-

NON CANON
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>SA
"Gaffer"
'Poindexter'
~~~
"Twice in as many weeks? Sure you aren't starting a new game?"

>Oh, I'm starting something new alright, Gaffy, and I want you to be part of it. Mind filling out this application form? Mostly as a formality.

"What? I..."

>I'm putting together something special, Gaffer, something the world has never seen before, and I want you to be part of it!

"Ummm..."

>You're going to need to get into shape though. all of us will, to make this dream a reality, we're gonna need to be in the best shape of our lives!

"... will there be girls at least?"

>Not that many have signed up yet, but I guess if they're interested they can join in. But I really want to take this as a chance for me and some old pals to reconnect in a new and exciting way!

"I'm feeling very uncomfortable about this!..."

>It's gonna be uncomfortable at first, of course, and I know you're scared, but hey, I was able to do it, and I know my best friends will be right behind me, right?

"...POCKET SAND! SHA SHA SHA!"

Gaffer proceeds to leap out a nearby window and run off screaming

>what's up with him?

'I dunno, I just don't think that guy really likes being your friend anymore.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Mane-iac
"Sombra"

>AETHERIO! We meet again, but alas, I have INFILTRA-no no, joined Luminous Shield's enclave of JUSTICE! We are star-crossed paramours, you and I, destined to do battle like so many before us!

"...actually, Mane-Iac, I'm part of the team too..."

>...oh, well, that drama goes right out the window. BUT AHA! We have this ROOM of DANGER in which to hone our skills to a fine point! Perhaps a training montage is in order!

"Actually, I was going to ask you about that. It's been established that the Rainbolts will be working as a team, and I believe that the two of us combining our powers would lead to a far better result. Your superpowers coupled with my arcane magic and intelligence, we would be quite formidable."

>Ahaha! I like the way you think, Aetherio, truly we shall...wait a second...

"What?"

>Aetherio...did your horn get bigger?

"No! Why!?"

>I swear it looks slightly looonger than it did before. Did you do something with your hair?

"Yes! The hair! Definitely! It is entirely my mane that has been altered here and NOTHING else! Good day, Mane-iac!"

>But what about the train-

"GOOD DAY!"

Sombra zooms off.

"...and I'M the strange one."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Celestia"
'Chrysalis'
~~~~

>You know, April Fools Day was... a few days ago, right?

"We may not have disarmed every snare prank properly."

'Sue us.'

>I could sue you, but it would either A, cause an international incident, or B, get me nothing because I'm pretty sure most of your funds are, in face, my funds.

'That they are.'

>...Okay, I'm just going to come outright and ask it, was this intentionally strapping us together in a sexy way? Was this, like, intended?

'Oh no, no no no, this was my snare. If it WAS supposed to be like that, *I* would be the one in the middle, with YOU on my back and me on Celly's back. Or at the very least I'd be where Celly is.'

"Yeah, it's actually taking a lot of concentration not to get turned on by this. I really have to try."

>You've been failing for the last ten minutes. Do you realize what it would be like if I DIDN'T train specifically under you, and thus knew the exact type of magic that could hold back your solar powers? I'd never have to worry about being 'unintentionally celebrity' again, I'd be a straight up eunuch.

'Tears are coming to my eyes just thinking about it.'

"And you whined about that training, Tanner-man!"

>I stand corrected, Flashy.

'I missed all the best stuff.'

>...You both do realize if 10 walks in before we get out, we are fucked right? There is no possible way anyone will ever believe this is not a purely sexual thing.

"If that happens, just go for it. The sweet release of death will be endlessly better than what comes next."

>...I just might, actually.

'OH COME ONE! SWITCH! SWIIIIIITCH!'

"No."

'DAAAAAAAMN!'

>Shut up and keep sawing at the ropes with your horn.

'I'm sawing!... goddamnnevergonnagetany....friggengonnahavetafeelitwhilehenailsher....friggenthatsoundshot...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Lotus
"Aloe"
~~~

>Sister, have you noticed some... strange occurrences happening around town?

"Nothing more than the usual. I think I saw a demon with THREE heads after the Gala, but other than that no."

>No no, I do not mean the strange monsters who occasionally invade our town. I mean... is this town... more quiet than normal? As if major events suddenly stopped happening, and mostly have shifted focus elsewhere?

"...Huh. Now that you mention it, yes. Invasions via giant creature have become negligible, overly explosive misunderstandings have gone down to nil, and party events have reduced to the bare minimum, and are nowhere near as big as they were."

>Not to mention the lack of minor occurrences. Roads no longer accidentally lead off cliffs, there's safety rails to prevent floats from almost sending fillies to their death, and I finally understand our blasted taxes thanks to these helpful little pamphlets!

"It's as if everything of interest just up and moved, somewhere far... FAAAR away. To another town or city, to be precise."

>It's weird.

"...Profits are a little down since Rarity moved away, should we start doing that thing we said we would never do?"

>SISTER NO! We are NOT adding in "Happy endings'! NO! NEVER! Who knows what we might catch from stallions... OR MARES! It can transmit from either!

"...Meant the coupon thing."

>Oh! Oh, yes, we should probably revisit that.

"... But you know-"

>No. Momma didn't raise no prostitutes.

"Fine."
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