Crabs are Fucking Retarded

>Take fluffy pony to beach
>Yeah, I know. Fluffy pony has floaties on, one big skinny floatie around its waist, and a scuba mask on.
>And fluffy pony isn't even allowed in the water. That's just in case it forgets or gets swept in by a wave
>Fluffy pony is having a lot of fun
>Likes the warm sun and playing in the sand
>Leave fluffy pony on your blanket to go get some ice cream on the boardwalk
>Fluffy pony is idly looking at the sea
>Suddenly; WILD CRAB APPEARS
>Fluffy pony sees a new friend!
>"WOW! Weiwd dingy! You be new fwein'?"
>The crab doesn't respond
>"Yay! Huggies!"
>Fluffy pony attempts to cuddle with crab
>youthinkthisisamotherfuckinggame.jpg
>Crab starts going nuts with the claws
>CLAMP CLAMP CLAMP
>
>Return to fluffy pony
>It's crying!
>And there's a crab next to it
>Fluffy pony explains that it tried to hug its new friend, but it became a meenie and broke its floaties
>"N-, now fwuffy no ha-, haf' fwoaties an' fwuffy go' ge' bad owieeees!!" it sobs
>Crab is looking at you like, "Fucker had it coming, bro!"
>Know what to do
>Dig into bag
>Find four idle rubber bands
>Wrap two around each of the crab's claws
>Tell fluffy her new friend says he's sorry, and that he would like huggies
>Fluffy pony hugs the now-harmless crab for a full two hours
>Laugh all the way; crabs are fucking retarded