Eng American Beauty (1999)

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1
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I need a father who's a role model,
not some horny geek boy...

2
00:00:36,636 --> 00:00:41,307
who's going to spray his shorts whenever
I bring a girlfriend home from school.

3
00:00:42,892 --> 00:00:45,311
What a lame-o.

4
00:00:47,605 --> 00:00:51,651
Someone really should just put him
out of his misery.

5
00:00:53,945 --> 00:00:57,156
<i>You want me to kill him for you?</i>

6
00:01:04,163 --> 00:01:06,666
Yeah. Would you?

7
00:01:19,345 --> 00:01:22,473
<i>My name is Lester Burnham.</i>

8
00:01:22,557 --> 00:01:25,726
<i>This is my neighborhood.</i>

9
00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:28,729
<i>This is my street.</i>

10
00:01:28,813 --> 00:01:31,649
<i>This is my life.</i>

11
00:01:31,732 --> 00:01:36,737
<i>I'm 42 years old.</i>
<i>In less than a year, I'll be dead.</i>

12
00:01:43,828 --> 00:01:47,081
<i>Of course,</i>
<i>I don't know that yet.</i>

13
00:01:50,376 --> 00:01:54,672
<i>And in a way,</i>
<i>I'm dead already.</i>

14
00:02:04,348 --> 00:02:07,977
<i>Look at me:</i>
<i>jerking off in the shower.</i>

15
00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:14,859
<i>This will be the high point of my day.</i>
<i>It's all downhill from here.</i>

16
00:02:19,363 --> 00:02:22,492
<i>That's my wife, Carolyn.</i>

17
00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:27,580
<i>See the way the handle on those pruning</i>
<i>shears matches her gardening clogs?</i>

18
00:02:27,663 --> 00:02:30,708
<i>That's not an accident.</i>

19
00:02:30,792 --> 00:02:33,336
<i>Hush, Bitsy!</i>

20
00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:37,298
- Hush. What is wrong with you?
- <i>That's our next-door neighbor, Jim.</i>

21
00:02:37,381 --> 00:02:41,302
<i>And that's his lover, Jim.</i>

22
00:02:41,385 --> 00:02:44,847
- You spoil her. Bitsy, no bark. Come inside now.
- Me?

23
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:47,892
- <i>Come on. Yes. Inside.</i>
- <i>Good morning, Jim!</i>

24
00:02:47,975 --> 00:02:50,144
Good morning, Carolyn.

25
00:02:50,228 --> 00:02:54,440
I love your tie!
That color!

26
00:02:54,524 --> 00:02:59,028
I just love your roses. How do you
get them to flourish like this?

27
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:02,824
Well, I'll tell you:
eggshells and Miracle-Gro.

28
00:03:02,907 --> 00:03:07,411
- I've never heard that.
- <i>Man, I get exhausted just watching her.</i>

29
00:03:07,495 --> 00:03:11,582
<i>She wasn't always like this.</i>
<i>She used to be happy.</i>

30
00:03:14,085 --> 00:03:17,380
We <i>used to be happy.</i>

31
00:03:17,463 --> 00:03:21,634
<i>My daughter Jane.</i>
<i>Only child.</i>

32
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:27,390
<i>Janie's a pretty typical teenager:</i>

33
00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:31,727
<i>angry, insecure, confused.</i>

34
00:03:31,811 --> 00:03:37,024
<i>I wish I could tell her that's all going</i>
<i>to pass, but I don't want to lie to her.</i>

35
00:03:40,903 --> 00:03:44,115
Jane, honey, are you trying
to look unattractive?

36
00:03:44,198 --> 00:03:48,369
- Yes.
- Congratulations. You've succeeded admirably.

37
00:03:48,453 --> 00:03:52,915
Lester, could you make me a little later,
please, because I'm not quite late enough.

38
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,588
Nice going, Dad.

39
00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:02,925
<i>Both my wife and</i>
<i>daughter think I'm this gigantic loser.</i>

40
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:05,970
<i>And they're right.</i>

41
00:04:06,053 --> 00:04:09,432
<i>I have lost something.</i>

42
00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:12,602
<i>I'm not exactly sure</i>
<i>what it is,</i>

43
00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:16,230
<i>but I know</i>
<i>I didn't always feel this...</i>

44
00:04:16,314 --> 00:04:18,232
<i>sedated.</i>

45
00:04:18,316 --> 00:04:21,027
<i>But you know what?</i>

46
00:04:21,110 --> 00:04:25,615
<i>It's never too late</i>
<i>to get it back.</i>

47
00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:28,993
Hello. This is Lester Burnham
from <i>Media Monthly</i> magazine.

48
00:04:29,076 --> 00:04:32,121
I'm calling
for Mr. Tamblin, please.

49
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:35,792
Well, we're all under a deadline here.
You see, there's some basic information...

50
00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:40,296
about your product launch that isn't even
covered in your press release, and I'd...

51
00:04:40,379 --> 00:04:43,257
Yeah, c...
can I ask you a question?

52
00:04:43,341 --> 00:04:47,804
Who is Tamblin? Does he exist?
'Cause he doesn't ever seem to come in.

53
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:50,681
Yeah. Okay.
I'll leave my number.

54
00:04:50,765 --> 00:04:55,186
<i>It's 555-0199.</i>

55
00:04:55,269 --> 00:04:58,815
Lester Burnham.
Thank you!

56
00:05:00,274 --> 00:05:04,362
Hey, Les.
You got a minute?

57
00:05:04,445 --> 00:05:08,157
For you, Brad,
I got five!

58
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:12,703
So, yeah, I'm sure you can understand
our need to cut corners around here.

59
00:05:12,787 --> 00:05:14,914
Oh, sure.
Times are tight.

60
00:05:14,997 --> 00:05:18,376
You got to free up some cash.
You got to spend money to make money.

61
00:05:18,459 --> 00:05:21,337
- <i>Right?</i>
- Exactly.

62
00:05:21,420 --> 00:05:25,341
<i>Like the time that Mr. Flournoy used the
company MasterCard to pay for that hooker,</i>

63
00:05:25,424 --> 00:05:29,554
and she used the card numbers and stayed at
the St. Regis for, what was it, three months?

64
00:05:29,637 --> 00:05:33,683
- That's unsubstantiated gossip.
- That's $50,000. That's somebody's salary.

65
00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:36,853
That's somebody who's going to get fired
because Craig has to pay women to fuck him!

66
00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:38,938
<i>Jesus!</i>

67
00:05:39,021 --> 00:05:42,692
I mean, calm down.
Nobody's getting fired yet.

68
00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:45,236
<i>That's why we're having everyone...</i>

69
00:05:45,319 --> 00:05:49,824
write out a job description mapping
out in detail how they contribute.

70
00:05:49,907 --> 00:05:53,661
That way management
can assess who's valuable...

71
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:56,456
And who's expendable.

72
00:05:56,539 --> 00:05:59,208
<i>It's just business.</i>

73
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:02,545
I've been writing
for this magazine for 14 years.

74
00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:06,883
- You've been here how long? A whole month?
- I'm one of the good guys, Les.

75
00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:09,802
I'm trying to level with you.

76
00:06:09,886 --> 00:06:13,389
This is your one chance
to save your job.

77
00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:17,685
<i>There is no decision.</i>
<i>You just write the damn thing.</i>

78
00:06:17,769 --> 00:06:20,772
- You don't think it's weird and kind of fascist?
- Possibly.

79
00:06:20,855 --> 00:06:22,815
- But you don't want to be unemployed.
- All right.

80
00:06:22,899 --> 00:06:25,610
Let's just all sell our souls and work for
Satan 'cause it's more convenient that way.

81
00:06:25,693 --> 00:06:28,738
Oh, could you be a little bit
more dramatic, please, huh?

82
00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:31,032
So, we finally
got new neighbors.

83
00:06:31,115 --> 00:06:35,703
<i>You know, if the Lomans had let me represent
them instead of the Real Estate King,</i>

84
00:06:35,787 --> 00:06:38,289
that house would never
have sat on the market for six months.

85
00:06:38,372 --> 00:06:41,125
Well, they were still mad at you
for cutting down their sycamore.

86
00:06:41,209 --> 00:06:43,795
<i>Their</i> sycamore?
Come on.

87
00:06:43,878 --> 00:06:46,589
A substantial portion of the root
structure was on our property.

88
00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:49,634
You know that.
How can you call it <i>their</i> sycamore?

89
00:06:49,717 --> 00:06:54,806
I wouldn't have the heart to just cut down something
if it wasn't partially mine, which, of course, it was.

90
00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:09,028
Mom, do we always have to listen
to this elevator music?

91
00:07:10,488 --> 00:07:12,824
No. No, we don't.

92
00:07:12,907 --> 00:07:16,828
And as soon you've prepared a nutritious
yet savory meal that I'm about to eat,

93
00:07:16,911 --> 00:07:19,872
you can listen
to whatever you like.

94
00:07:22,917 --> 00:07:26,796
So, Janie, how was school?

95
00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:29,257
It was okay.

96
00:07:29,340 --> 00:07:31,759
Just okay?

97
00:07:31,843 --> 00:07:35,930
No, Dad.
It was spectacular.

98
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:41,811
Well, you want to know
how things went in my job today?

99
00:07:41,894 --> 00:07:44,313
They've hired
this efficiency expert,

100
00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:47,108
this really friendly guy
named Brad...

101
00:07:47,191 --> 00:07:51,612
How perfect is that? And he's basically
there to make it seem they're justified...

102
00:07:51,696 --> 00:07:55,158
in firing somebody, because they couldn't
just come out and say that, could they?

103
00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:58,536
No, no. That would just be too honest.
So they've asked us...

104
00:07:58,619 --> 00:08:02,123
You couldn't
possibly care less, could you?

105
00:08:02,206 --> 00:08:04,333
What do you expect?

106
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:08,671
You can't all of a sudden be my best
friend just because you had a bad day.

107
00:08:10,339 --> 00:08:14,510
I mean, hello, you've barely even
spoken to me for months.

108
00:08:20,099 --> 00:08:23,603
Oh, what?
You're "Mother of the Year"?

109
00:08:23,686 --> 00:08:27,148
You treat her like an employee.
- What?

110
00:08:29,066 --> 00:08:31,861
What?

111
00:08:31,944 --> 00:08:34,614
I'm going
to get some ice cream.

112
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:45,249
Janie...

113
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:51,380
I'm sorry I haven't
been more available.

114
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:53,716
I'm just... I...

115
00:08:56,010 --> 00:08:59,931
You know, you don't always
have to wait for me to come to you.

116
00:09:00,014 --> 00:09:03,059
Oh, great.
So now it's my fault?

117
00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:06,562
I didn't say that.
It's nobody's fault. It...

118
00:09:07,772 --> 00:09:11,025
Janie, what happened?
We used to be pals.

119
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:53,961
I will sell this house today.

120
00:11:04,388 --> 00:11:09,352
I will sell this house today.
I will sell this house today.

121
00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:26,285
I will sell this house today.

122
00:11:34,377 --> 00:11:37,171
Welcome.
I'm Carolyn Burnham.

123
00:11:37,255 --> 00:11:40,299
This living room
is very dramatic.

124
00:11:40,383 --> 00:11:43,261
<i>Wait till you see</i>
<i>the native stone fireplace!</i>

125
00:11:43,344 --> 00:11:48,850
A simple cream could really lighten things
up. You could even put in a skylight.

126
00:11:51,602 --> 00:11:53,729
Well, why don't we
go into the kitchen?

127
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:57,191
It's a dream come true
for any cook.

128
00:11:57,275 --> 00:12:00,611
Just filled
with positive energy, huh?

129
00:12:00,695 --> 00:12:06,200
And you'll be surprised how much a ceiling
fan can cut down on your energy costs.

130
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:13,791
<i>You know, you could have some fun</i>
<i>backyard get-togethers out here.</i>

131
00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:17,253
The ad said this pool was lagoon-like.
There's nothing lagoon-like about it.

132
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:21,799
Except for maybe the bugs.
There aren't even any plants out here.

133
00:12:21,883 --> 00:12:24,802
What do you call this?
Is this not a plant?

134
00:12:24,886 --> 00:12:28,306
If you have a problem with the plants, I
can always call my landscape architect.

135
00:12:28,389 --> 00:12:32,977
- Solved.
- I mean, I think "lagoon," I think waterfall, tropical.

136
00:12:33,060 --> 00:12:36,022
This is a cement hole.

137
00:12:37,148 --> 00:12:39,066
Uh...

138
00:12:39,150 --> 00:12:42,278
I have some tiki torches
in the garage.

139
00:13:13,810 --> 00:13:17,563
Shut up! Stop it!
You weak... You baby!

140
00:13:17,647 --> 00:13:20,608
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up!

141
00:14:05,736 --> 00:14:07,864
Who are you looking for?

142
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:10,575
My parents are coming tonight.

143
00:14:10,658 --> 00:14:14,328
They're trying to, you know,
take an active interest in me.

144
00:14:14,412 --> 00:14:17,373
Gross. I hate it
when my mom does that.

145
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:21,461
They're such assholes. Why can't
they just have their own lives?

146
00:14:24,422 --> 00:14:28,551
What makes you sure she wants us
to be there? Did she ask us to come?

147
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:32,013
Of course not. She doesn't want us
to know how important this is to her.

148
00:14:32,096 --> 00:14:34,223
But she's been practicing
for weeks.

149
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:38,603
I'll bet she's going to resent it, and I'm
missing the James Bond marathon on T.N.T.

150
00:14:38,686 --> 00:14:43,733
Lester, this is important. I'm sensing a
real distance growing between you and Jane.

151
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:46,611
"Growing"?
She hates me.

152
00:14:46,694 --> 00:14:50,698
- She's just willful.
- She hates you too.

153
00:14:58,623 --> 00:15:01,709
- Excuse me. Sorry. I'm sorry.
- Pardon me.

154
00:15:01,793 --> 00:15:04,253
Hi! Patty!

155
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:07,298
<i>Now, for your halftime entertainment,</i>

156
00:15:07,381 --> 00:15:11,719
<i>Rockwell High's award-winning</i>
<i>Dancing Spartanettes!</i>

157
00:15:11,803 --> 00:15:14,430
We can leave
right after this, right?

158
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:30,566
Shit. They're still here.

159
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,735
Janie!

160
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:35,029
Hey, I really enjoyed that.

161
00:17:35,113 --> 00:17:38,074
- Congratulations, honey. You were great.
- <i>I didn't win anything.</i>

162
00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:41,828
- Hi. I'm Lester, Janie's dad.
- Oh, hi.

163
00:17:44,455 --> 00:17:47,083
This is my friend,
Angela Hayes.

164
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:50,545
Okay. Good to meet you.

165
00:17:50,628 --> 00:17:55,925
<i>You were also good tonight,</i>
<i>very... precise.</i>

166
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:58,928
- Thanks.
- Nice to meet you, Angela.

167
00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:01,722
Honey...
I am so proud of you.

168
00:18:01,806 --> 00:18:05,601
You know, I watched you very closely.
You didn't screw up once.

169
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:09,856
Okay, uh, we have to go.

170
00:18:09,939 --> 00:18:12,483
- So what are you girls doing now?
- Dad.

171
00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:15,820
- We're going out for pizza.
- Really? Do you need a ride? We can give you a ride.

172
00:18:15,903 --> 00:18:19,615
- I have a car. You want to come with us?
- Thanks, but I have a car.

173
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:23,494
You <i>have</i> a car.
That's great. That's great.

174
00:18:23,578 --> 00:18:26,456
Janie's thinking about
getting a car, too, soon, aren't you?

175
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:29,876
Dad, Mom's waiting for you.

176
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:34,464
Well, it was very nice
meeting you, Angela.

177
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:37,008
<i>Any friend of Janie's...</i>

178
00:18:37,091 --> 00:18:41,596
<i>is a... friend of mine.</i>

179
00:18:44,766 --> 00:18:48,728
Well... I'll be
seeing you around, then.

180
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:57,195
Could he be any more...
pathetic?

181
00:18:57,278 --> 00:19:00,239
I think he's sweet.

182
00:19:00,323 --> 00:19:05,536
And I think he and your mother
have not had sex in a long time.

183
00:19:22,011 --> 00:19:25,098
<i>It's the weirdest thing.</i>

184
00:19:25,181 --> 00:19:28,643
<i>I feel like I've been in a coma</i>
<i>for about 20 years...</i>

185
00:19:28,726 --> 00:19:31,896
<i>and I'm just now waking up.</i>

186
00:20:02,260 --> 00:20:05,638
<i>Spec-tacular.</i>

187
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,859
I'm so sorry
my dad was weird tonight.

188
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:21,779
That's okay.

189
00:20:21,863 --> 00:20:24,198
I'm used to guys
drooling over me.

190
00:20:25,283 --> 00:20:27,743
It started
when I was about 12.

191
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:30,913
I'd go to dinner
with my parents.

192
00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:34,125
Every Thursday night: Red Lobster.

193
00:20:34,208 --> 00:20:37,170
Every guy there would stare at me
when I walked in.

194
00:20:37,253 --> 00:20:39,422
And I knew
what they were thinking,

195
00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:43,426
just like I knew guys at school thought
about me when they jerked off.

196
00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:46,262
- Vomit.
- No. I liked it.

197
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:50,933
I still like it. If people I don't even
know look at me and want to fuck me,

198
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:55,188
it means I really have a shot
at being a model.

199
00:20:55,271 --> 00:20:57,565
Which is great,

200
00:20:57,648 --> 00:21:01,694
because there's nothing worse in life
than being ordinary.

201
00:21:05,990 --> 00:21:08,409
I really think
it'll happen for you.

202
00:21:09,494 --> 00:21:11,412
I know.

203
00:21:11,496 --> 00:21:16,167
Because everything that was meant
to happen, does... eventually.

204
00:21:40,775 --> 00:21:43,319
Asshole.

205
00:22:48,509 --> 00:22:51,971
Hello? Hello?

206
00:23:08,196 --> 00:23:10,448
- Hello?
- Why'd you call me?

207
00:23:10,531 --> 00:23:12,450
I didn't.

208
00:23:12,533 --> 00:23:15,077
Well, my phone just rang and
I answered it, and somebody hung up.

209
00:23:15,161 --> 00:23:19,791
- And I star-69'ed, and I called you
back. - Well, I was in the shower.

210
00:23:23,669 --> 00:23:25,797
Oh, gross!

211
00:23:41,646 --> 00:23:44,273
<i>Ricky! Breakfast!</i>

212
00:23:45,942 --> 00:23:48,361
Be right there.

213
00:23:56,577 --> 00:23:58,454
- Mom.
- Hello.

214
00:23:58,538 --> 00:24:01,874
I don't eat bacon, remember?

215
00:24:03,042 --> 00:24:06,003
I'm sorry.
I must've forgotten.

216
00:24:16,097 --> 00:24:19,058
What's new in the world, Dad?

217
00:24:19,142 --> 00:24:22,937
This country
is going straight to hell.

218
00:24:29,944 --> 00:24:32,822
- Are you expecting anyone?
- No.

219
00:24:35,825 --> 00:24:38,161
No.

220
00:24:45,001 --> 00:24:47,170
- Hi.
- Welcome to the neighborhood.

221
00:24:47,253 --> 00:24:49,464
- It's just a little something from our garden.
- Except for the pasta.

222
00:24:49,547 --> 00:24:52,175
- We got that at Fallaci's.
- Right. It's unbelievably fresh.

223
00:24:52,258 --> 00:24:55,845
You just... You drop it
in the water, and it's done.

224
00:24:55,928 --> 00:24:59,766
Jim Olmeyer. Two doors down.
Welcome to the neighborhood.

225
00:24:59,849 --> 00:25:02,185
Colonel Frank Fitts,
U.S. Marine Corps.

226
00:25:02,268 --> 00:25:05,897
- It's nice to meet you. This is my partner...
- Jim Berkley, but call me J.B.

227
00:25:05,980 --> 00:25:09,275
Let's cut to chase, okay?
What are you guys selling?

228
00:25:09,358 --> 00:25:13,446
- We...
- Nothing. We just wanted to say hi to our new neighbors.

229
00:25:13,529 --> 00:25:19,076
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said you're
partners, so what's your business?

230
00:25:20,703 --> 00:25:24,707
Well... he is a tax attorney.

231
00:25:24,791 --> 00:25:27,794
And he's an anesthesiologist.

232
00:25:36,469 --> 00:25:40,932
How come these faggots
always have to rub it in your face?

233
00:25:41,015 --> 00:25:44,102
How can they
be so shameless?

234
00:25:45,561 --> 00:25:48,773
That's the whole thing, Dad.

235
00:25:48,856 --> 00:25:52,151
They don't feel that's anything
to be ashamed of.

236
00:25:53,277 --> 00:25:55,780
Well, it is.

237
00:25:57,490 --> 00:26:01,828
- Yeah, you're right.
- Don't placate me like I'm your mother, boy.

238
00:26:04,789 --> 00:26:07,625
Forgive me, sir,
for speaking so bluntly,

239
00:26:07,708 --> 00:26:10,753
but those fags make me want
to puke my fucking guts out.

240
00:26:18,511 --> 00:26:23,683
Well, me too, son.
Yeah. Me too.

241
00:26:28,729 --> 00:26:32,692
<i>I'm serious. He just</i>
<i>pulled down his pants and yanked it out.</i>

242
00:26:32,775 --> 00:26:36,446
- <i>You know, like, "Say hello to Mr. Happy."</i>
- Gross!

243
00:26:36,529 --> 00:26:41,367
- It wasn't gross. It was kind of cool.
- So did you do it with him?

244
00:26:41,451 --> 00:26:45,788
<i>Of course. He's a really</i>
<i>well-known photographer.</i>

245
00:26:45,872 --> 00:26:48,624
He shoots for <i>Elle</i> on,
like, a regular basis.

246
00:26:48,708 --> 00:26:53,463
- It would've been majorly stupid of me to turn him down.
- You are a total prostitute.

247
00:26:53,546 --> 00:26:57,675
Hey, that's how
things really are.

248
00:26:57,759 --> 00:27:01,596
You just don't know because you're
this pampered little suburban chick.

249
00:27:01,679 --> 00:27:05,266
<i>So are you. You've only been</i>
<i>in</i> Seventeen <i>once, and you looked fat.</i>

250
00:27:05,349 --> 00:27:09,020
So stop acting like you're
goddamn Christy Turlington!

251
00:27:11,355 --> 00:27:13,274
Cunt!

252
00:27:14,734 --> 00:27:18,237
I am so sick of people
taking their insecurities out on me.

253
00:27:19,947 --> 00:27:24,243
- <i>Oh, my God. That's the pervert who filmed me last night.</i>
- Him?

254
00:27:24,327 --> 00:27:27,371
<i>Jane. No way.</i>
<i>He's a total lunatic.</i>

255
00:27:27,455 --> 00:27:29,373
- Do you know him?
- Yeah.

256
00:27:29,457 --> 00:27:31,667
We were on the same lunch shift
when I was in ninth grade,

257
00:27:31,751 --> 00:27:35,296
and he would always save
the most random, weird things.

258
00:27:35,379 --> 00:27:39,759
And then one day,
he was just, like, gone.

259
00:27:39,842 --> 00:27:45,681
And then Connie Cardullo told me that his
parents had to put him in a mental institution.

260
00:27:45,765 --> 00:27:47,892
Why? What did he do?

261
00:27:47,975 --> 00:27:50,853
What do you mean?

262
00:27:50,937 --> 00:27:55,066
Well, they can't put you away
just for saying weird things.

263
00:27:57,485 --> 00:28:02,615
You total slut.
You've got a crush on him.

264
00:28:02,698 --> 00:28:05,493
- What? Please!
- You are defending him. You love him.

265
00:28:05,576 --> 00:28:08,871
- You want to have, like, 10,000 of his babies.
- Shut up.

266
00:28:08,955 --> 00:28:13,209
<i>Hi. My name's Ricky.</i>
<i>I just moved next door to you.</i>

267
00:28:13,292 --> 00:28:15,336
I know.

268
00:28:15,419 --> 00:28:19,549
I kind of remember this creepy incident
where you were filming me last night?

269
00:28:19,632 --> 00:28:23,719
- I didn't mean to scare you. I just think you're interesting.
- <i>Thanks.</i>

270
00:28:23,803 --> 00:28:28,433
But I really don't need to have some
psycho obsessing about me right now.

271
00:28:29,475 --> 00:28:33,479
I'm not obsessing.
I'm just curious.

272
00:28:48,619 --> 00:28:50,580
What a freak.

273
00:28:50,663 --> 00:28:53,958
And why does he dress
like a Bible salesman?

274
00:28:54,041 --> 00:28:57,170
He's, like, so confident.

275
00:28:57,253 --> 00:29:00,298
<i>That can't be real.</i>

276
00:29:00,381 --> 00:29:02,925
I don't believe him.

277
00:29:03,009 --> 00:29:07,096
I mean, he didn't even,
like, look at me once.

278
00:29:12,226 --> 00:29:16,314
- <i>How'd you get in the Army?</i>
- <i>Sergeant, I got three reasons for being in the Army.</i>

279
00:29:16,397 --> 00:29:20,443
First, I'm patriotic. Second, I love
my country. And third, they nailed me.

280
00:29:34,874 --> 00:29:36,793
Hey.

281
00:29:39,879 --> 00:29:43,549
- What's going on here?
- Bend all the way down. Here comes the Bull of the Woods.

282
00:29:46,469 --> 00:29:49,055
I'm sorry. What?

283
00:29:50,139 --> 00:29:52,517
Mom, nobody said anything.

284
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,061
Oh. I'm sorry.

285
00:30:01,567 --> 00:30:03,611
Everyone here is with their spouse
or significant other.

286
00:30:03,694 --> 00:30:06,739
- How would it look if I showed up with no one?
- You always end up ignoring me.

287
00:30:06,823 --> 00:30:10,326
Now, listen to me.
This is an important business function.

288
00:30:10,409 --> 00:30:13,579
As you know, my business
is selling an image,

289
00:30:13,663 --> 00:30:15,998
and part of my job
is to live that image.

290
00:30:16,082 --> 00:30:20,545
Honey, do me a favor and say whatever you
want to say and spare me the propaganda.

291
00:30:20,628 --> 00:30:23,548
All right.
Hi, Shirley!

292
00:30:25,091 --> 00:30:27,969
Listen. Just do me a favor.
Act happy tonight.

293
00:30:28,052 --> 00:30:32,849
- I am happy, honey!
- You're not... Oh, that's Buddy!

294
00:30:32,932 --> 00:30:36,394
- <i>Buddy! Buddy! Hi!</i>
- Hi.

295
00:30:36,477 --> 00:30:38,938
Good to see you again.

296
00:30:39,021 --> 00:30:42,525
- It's so good to see you too, Catherine.
- Carolyn.

297
00:30:42,608 --> 00:30:45,570
Oh, Carolyn! Of course.
How are you?

298
00:30:45,653 --> 00:30:49,615
- Very well, thank you. Hello, Christy.
- Hello.

299
00:30:50,783 --> 00:30:53,661
- My husband, Lester.
- It's a pleasure.

300
00:30:53,744 --> 00:30:58,875
Oh, we've met before, actually. This
thing last year. Christmas at the Sheraton.

301
00:30:58,958 --> 00:31:01,210
Oh, yeah!

302
00:31:01,294 --> 00:31:04,422
Oh, it's okay.
I wouldn't remember me either.

303
00:31:08,468 --> 00:31:10,970
Honey, don't be weird.

304
00:31:11,053 --> 00:31:13,890
- All right, honey. I won't be weird.
- Okay.

305
00:31:13,973 --> 00:31:17,226
I'll be whatever
you want me to be.

306
00:31:17,310 --> 00:31:19,812
Well, oka...

307
00:31:29,655 --> 00:31:33,743
- We have a very healthy relationship.
- I see.

308
00:31:37,163 --> 00:31:40,291
Well, I don't know about you guys,
but I need a drink.

309
00:31:40,374 --> 00:31:43,085
Ohh.

310
00:31:45,588 --> 00:31:48,674
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Put a little more in there, cowboy.

311
00:32:04,524 --> 00:32:09,821
<i>Excuse me. Don't you live on Robin Hood</i>
<i>Trail? The house with the red door?</i>

312
00:32:09,904 --> 00:32:14,826
- Yeah.
- I'm Ricky Fitts. I just moved in the house next to you.

313
00:32:14,909 --> 00:32:19,163
Oh. Hi, Ricky Fitts.
I'm Lester Burnham.

314
00:32:19,247 --> 00:32:21,791
Hi, Lester Burnham.

315
00:32:31,884 --> 00:32:35,304
- Do you party?
- Excuse me?

316
00:32:35,388 --> 00:32:38,599
Do you get high?

317
00:32:41,144 --> 00:32:45,898
You know, I probably wouldn't even tell
you this if I weren't a little tipsy, but...

318
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,236
I'm in complete awe of you.

319
00:32:50,319 --> 00:32:52,738
I mean, your firm...

320
00:32:52,822 --> 00:32:56,826
is hands-down the Rolls-Royce
of local real estate firms,

321
00:32:56,909 --> 00:33:00,413
and your personal
sales record is...

322
00:33:00,496 --> 00:33:04,542
It's very intimidating.

323
00:33:04,625 --> 00:33:09,630
You know, I'd love to sit down
with you and just pick your brain,

324
00:33:09,714 --> 00:33:12,592
if you'd ever be willing.

325
00:33:14,177 --> 00:33:17,680
You know, I suppose technically
I'm the competition,

326
00:33:17,764 --> 00:33:21,476
but I mean, hey,
I don't flatter myself...

327
00:33:21,559 --> 00:33:25,062
that I'm even
in the same league as you.

328
00:33:25,146 --> 00:33:27,356
I don't.

329
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,400
I'd love to.

330
00:33:30,985 --> 00:33:33,905
- Really?
- Absolutely.

331
00:33:33,988 --> 00:33:37,283
Call my secretary.
Have her schedule a lunch.

332
00:33:38,826 --> 00:33:41,621
I'll do that.
Thank you.

333
00:33:47,794 --> 00:33:51,297
Did you ever see that movie
where the body is walking around...

334
00:33:51,380 --> 00:33:54,592
carrying its own head, and then
the head goes down on that babe?

335
00:33:54,675 --> 00:33:57,553
<i>Re-Animator.</i>

336
00:33:59,806 --> 00:34:01,766
Look.

337
00:34:01,849 --> 00:34:05,228
I'm not paying you to do whatever
it is you're doing out here.

338
00:34:05,311 --> 00:34:08,231
Fine. So don't pay me.

339
00:34:08,314 --> 00:34:10,399
Excuse me?

340
00:34:10,483 --> 00:34:15,404
I quit, so you don't have
to pay me. Now leave me alone.

341
00:34:17,657 --> 00:34:19,909
Asshole.

342
00:34:24,539 --> 00:34:27,750
I think you just
became my personal hero.

343
00:34:27,834 --> 00:34:31,295
Doesn't that make you nervous,
just quitting your job like that?

344
00:34:33,005 --> 00:34:36,217
Well, I guess when
you're all of, what, 16...

345
00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:40,763
Eighteen. I just do
these gigs as a cover.

346
00:34:40,847 --> 00:34:43,933
I have other sources of income.

347
00:34:44,016 --> 00:34:46,644
But my dad interferes less
in my life when I pretend...

348
00:34:46,727 --> 00:34:50,064
to be an upstanding young citizen
with a respectable job.

349
00:34:50,148 --> 00:34:52,233
Lester?

350
00:34:55,069 --> 00:34:59,282
- What are you doing?
- Honey, this is... Ricky Fitts.

351
00:34:59,365 --> 00:35:03,202
This is Ricky Fitts.

352
00:35:05,621 --> 00:35:08,624
I'm Ricky Fitts. I just moved
into the house next to you.

353
00:35:08,708 --> 00:35:11,711
I go to school
with your daughter.

354
00:35:11,794 --> 00:35:14,422
- With Jane?
- Yeah.

355
00:35:14,505 --> 00:35:17,216
- Really?
- Jane.

356
00:35:17,300 --> 00:35:21,888
Hi. I'm ready to go.
I'll meet you out front.

357
00:35:25,933 --> 00:35:29,896
Oh, I'm in trouble.

358
00:35:31,272 --> 00:35:34,358
Nice meeting you, Ricky.
Thanks for the thing.

359
00:35:34,442 --> 00:35:37,320
Anytime. Lester?

360
00:35:37,403 --> 00:35:40,990
If you want any more,
you know where I live.

361
00:35:54,420 --> 00:35:58,800
Oh, shit. They're home. Quick.
Let's go up to my room.

362
00:35:58,883 --> 00:36:01,344
I should say hi
to your dad.

363
00:36:01,427 --> 00:36:04,555
I don't want to be rude.

364
00:36:16,275 --> 00:36:18,486
Nice suit.

365
00:36:19,612 --> 00:36:21,614
You're looking good,
Mr. Burnham.

366
00:36:21,697 --> 00:36:25,451
Last time I saw you,
you looked kind of wound up.

367
00:36:29,163 --> 00:36:31,457
Ooh, is that root beer?

368
00:37:31,017 --> 00:37:33,102
I love root beer,
don't you?

369
00:37:35,563 --> 00:37:37,482
- Hey.
- Hi, Mom.

370
00:37:37,565 --> 00:37:39,776
- Hi.
- Remember Angela?

371
00:37:39,859 --> 00:37:41,944
Yes, of course.

372
00:37:42,028 --> 00:37:45,782
I forgot to tell you. She's going
to spend the night. Is that okay?

373
00:37:53,706 --> 00:37:57,293
- <i>Sorry about my dad.</i>
- <i>Don't be. I think it's funny.</i>

374
00:37:57,376 --> 00:38:02,423
Yeah, to you he's just another guy
who wants to jump your bones.

375
00:38:02,507 --> 00:38:07,345
But to me, he's just...
too embarrassing to live.

376
00:38:08,805 --> 00:38:12,558
Well, your mom's the one
who's embarrassing. What a phony.

377
00:38:12,642 --> 00:38:15,895
- But your dad's actually kind of cute.
- <i>Shut up.</i>

378
00:38:15,978 --> 00:38:19,732
<i>He is. If he just</i>
<i>worked out a little, he'd be hot.</i>

379
00:38:19,816 --> 00:38:21,776
- Shut up!
- Come on.

380
00:38:21,859 --> 00:38:26,739
Like you've never sneaked a peek at him in
his underwear? I bet he's got a big dick.

381
00:38:26,823 --> 00:38:29,158
<i>You are so grossing me out right now.</i>

382
00:38:29,242 --> 00:38:32,495
<i>If he built up his chest</i>
<i>and arms, I would totally fuck him.</i>

383
00:38:32,578 --> 00:38:36,833
I would. I would suck
your dad's big fat dick,

384
00:38:36,916 --> 00:38:40,002
and then I'd fuck him until
his eyes rolled back in his head.

385
00:38:40,086 --> 00:38:43,756
Jane, shh. What was that noise?

386
00:38:46,426 --> 00:38:49,095
- I swear I heard something.
- Yeah.

387
00:38:49,178 --> 00:38:52,140
That was the sound of you
being a huge, disgusting pig.

388
00:38:52,223 --> 00:38:54,684
No, I'm serious.

389
00:38:54,767 --> 00:38:57,520
See?

390
00:38:57,603 --> 00:39:00,898
- Oh, my God. Jane.
- <i>What is it?</i>

391
00:39:03,985 --> 00:39:07,405
<i>It's that psycho next door.</i>

392
00:39:07,488 --> 00:39:09,657
Jane, what if he worships you?

393
00:39:09,740 --> 00:39:14,871
What if he's got a shrine with pictures of you
surrounded by dead people's heads and stuff?

394
00:39:14,954 --> 00:39:18,416
Shit. I bet
he's filming us right now.

395
00:39:18,499 --> 00:39:20,460
Really?

396
00:40:51,050 --> 00:40:54,971
Welcome to
<i>America's Weirdest Home Videos.</i>

397
00:41:19,412 --> 00:41:22,623
<i>Ricky?</i>

398
00:41:22,707 --> 00:41:25,042
Coming, Dad.

399
00:41:25,126 --> 00:41:28,671
<i>You know I don't like</i>
<i>locked doors in my house, boy.</i>

400
00:41:34,260 --> 00:41:37,847
- I'm sorry. I must've locked it by accident.
- Mm.

401
00:41:38,931 --> 00:41:41,559
So what's up?

402
00:41:43,644 --> 00:41:46,397
I... I need a urine sample.

403
00:41:46,481 --> 00:41:48,399
Wow.

404
00:41:48,483 --> 00:41:51,194
It's been six months already.

405
00:41:51,277 --> 00:41:54,363
Can I give it to you in the morning?
I just took a whiz.

406
00:41:54,447 --> 00:41:56,574
Yeah. I suppose.

407
00:42:00,495 --> 00:42:03,289
Y-You know...

408
00:42:10,797 --> 00:42:14,634
Well, good night, son.

409
00:43:20,908 --> 00:43:22,994
I've been waiting for you.

410
00:43:43,765 --> 00:43:46,309
You've been working out,
haven't you?

411
00:43:46,392 --> 00:43:48,561
I can tell.

412
00:43:50,062 --> 00:43:53,149
I was hoping you could
give me a bath.

413
00:43:53,232 --> 00:43:55,777
I'm very, very dirty.

414
00:44:28,726 --> 00:44:30,978
What are you doing?

415
00:44:32,313 --> 00:44:34,357
Nothing.

416
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:37,026
- You were masturbating.
- I was not.

417
00:44:37,110 --> 00:44:39,904
Yes, you were.

418
00:44:39,987 --> 00:44:43,741
Oh, all right.
So shoot me. I was whacking off.

419
00:44:43,825 --> 00:44:47,411
That's right. I was choking
the bishop, chafing the carrot.

420
00:44:47,495 --> 00:44:50,414
You know, saying "hi"
to my monster.

421
00:44:50,498 --> 00:44:52,417
That's disgusting.

422
00:44:52,500 --> 00:44:55,628
Well, excuse me, but some of us still
have blood pumping through our veins.

423
00:44:55,711 --> 00:44:57,964
- So do I.
- Really?

424
00:44:58,047 --> 00:45:02,385
Well, I'm the only one who seems
to be doing anything about it.

425
00:45:02,468 --> 00:45:06,055
Lester, I refuse to live like this!

426
00:45:06,139 --> 00:45:08,099
This is not a marriage.

427
00:45:08,182 --> 00:45:11,269
This hasn't been
a marriage for years,

428
00:45:11,352 --> 00:45:14,313
but you were happy as long
as I kept my mouth shut.

429
00:45:14,397 --> 00:45:16,441
Well, guess what.
I've changed.

430
00:45:16,524 --> 00:45:19,110
And the new me whacks off
when he feels horny...

431
00:45:19,193 --> 00:45:21,988
'cause you're obviously not going
to help me out in that department.

432
00:45:22,071 --> 00:45:24,740
I see. You think you're the
only one who's sexually frustrated.

433
00:45:24,824 --> 00:45:27,952
I'm not? Well, then,
come on, baby. I'm ready.

434
00:45:28,035 --> 00:45:30,204
Don't you mess
with me, mister.

435
00:45:30,288 --> 00:45:33,416
I will divorce you so fast,
it'll make your head spin.

436
00:45:33,499 --> 00:45:35,668
On what grounds?

437
00:45:35,752 --> 00:45:38,337
I'm not a drunk.
I don't fuck other women.

438
00:45:38,421 --> 00:45:40,840
I don't mistreat you.
I've never hit you.

439
00:45:40,923 --> 00:45:43,509
I don't even try to touch you,
since you made it so abundantly clear...

440
00:45:43,593 --> 00:45:45,887
just how unnecessary
you consider me to be!

441
00:45:47,889 --> 00:45:51,309
<i>But... I did support you</i>
<i>when you got your license.</i>

442
00:45:51,392 --> 00:45:55,480
And some people might think that
entitles me to half of what's yours.

443
00:45:55,563 --> 00:45:58,399
Oh!

444
00:45:58,483 --> 00:46:02,236
So, turn out the light
when you come back to bed, okay?

445
00:46:13,706 --> 00:46:16,626
<i>It's a great thing</i>
<i>when you realize you still have...</i>

446
00:46:16,709 --> 00:46:19,295
<i>the ability</i>
<i>to surprise yourself.</i>

447
00:46:19,378 --> 00:46:23,341
<i>Makes you wonder what else you can do</i>
<i>that you've forgotten about.</i>

448
00:46:23,424 --> 00:46:25,384
Hey, guys.

449
00:46:25,468 --> 00:46:27,887
Lester. I didn't know you ran.

450
00:46:27,970 --> 00:46:30,306
- I just started.
- Good for you.

451
00:46:30,389 --> 00:46:34,477
I figured you guys might be able to give
me some pointers. I need to shape up, fast.

452
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:37,355
Are you looking to just lose weight,
or do you want to have...

453
00:46:37,438 --> 00:46:40,358
increased strength
and flexibility as well?

454
00:46:40,441 --> 00:46:43,903
I... I want
to look good naked.

455
00:46:58,793 --> 00:47:03,506
<i>Oh, what is this?</i>
<i>Fuckin' gay pride parade?</i>

456
00:47:03,589 --> 00:47:05,675
Hey! Yo, Ricky.

457
00:47:09,095 --> 00:47:13,850
My entire life is passing before my eyes,
and those two have barely broken a sweat.

458
00:47:13,933 --> 00:47:17,186
Sorry. Hi. Lester Burnham.
I live next door. We haven't met.

459
00:47:17,270 --> 00:47:19,272
Colonel Frank Fitts,
U.S. Marine Corps.

460
00:47:19,355 --> 00:47:22,442
Oh, whoa. Well.

461
00:47:22,525 --> 00:47:24,777
Welcome to the neighborhood, sir.

462
00:47:28,739 --> 00:47:31,701
Ricky, uh...

463
00:47:31,784 --> 00:47:35,371
I was thinking about the, uh...
I was gonna... The movie we talked about.

464
00:47:35,455 --> 00:47:37,373
- <i>Re-Animator.</i>
- Yeah!

465
00:47:37,457 --> 00:47:41,210
You want to borrow it?
Okay. It's up in my room. Come on.

466
00:47:52,221 --> 00:47:54,807
- Can you hold this for a sec?
- Sure.

467
00:47:54,891 --> 00:47:58,978
I don't think my dad would try to come in
while someone else is here, but you never know.

468
00:47:59,061 --> 00:48:02,106
- What is this?
- Urine.

469
00:48:02,190 --> 00:48:06,569
I have to take a drug test every
six months just to make sure I'm clean.

470
00:48:06,652 --> 00:48:09,572
Are you kidding?
You just smoked with me last night.

471
00:48:09,655 --> 00:48:11,741
It's not mine.

472
00:48:11,824 --> 00:48:15,578
One of my clients is a nurse
in a pediatrician's office.

473
00:48:15,661 --> 00:48:19,248
Cut her a deal,
she keeps me in clean piss.

474
00:48:21,334 --> 00:48:23,336
You like Pink Floyd?

475
00:48:24,879 --> 00:48:27,340
I like a lot of music.

476
00:48:28,549 --> 00:48:32,929
Man, I haven't listened
to this album in years.

477
00:48:33,012 --> 00:48:35,431
How much do you want?

478
00:48:35,515 --> 00:48:39,435
I don't know. It's been a while.
Um, how much is an ounce?

479
00:48:43,106 --> 00:48:46,025
This is totally decent,
and it's 300.

480
00:48:47,276 --> 00:48:49,278
Wow!

481
00:48:49,362 --> 00:48:51,948
This shit is
top of the line.

482
00:48:52,031 --> 00:48:55,660
It's called G-13. It's genetically
engineered by the U.S. government.

483
00:48:55,743 --> 00:48:59,539
It's extremely potent, but
a completely mellow high. No paranoia.

484
00:49:00,581 --> 00:49:03,501
Is that what we smoked
last night?

485
00:49:03,584 --> 00:49:06,212
This is all I ever smoke.

486
00:49:10,049 --> 00:49:13,553
- How much?
- Two grand.

487
00:49:13,636 --> 00:49:15,888
Jesus!

488
00:49:15,972 --> 00:49:18,808
Things have changed since 1973.

489
00:49:18,891 --> 00:49:22,645
- You don't have to pay now. I know you're good for it.
- Thanks.

490
00:49:22,728 --> 00:49:25,064
There's a card in there
with my beeper number.

491
00:49:25,148 --> 00:49:28,484
<i>Beep me anytime, day or night.</i>

492
00:49:28,568 --> 00:49:30,778
And I only accept cash.

493
00:49:30,862 --> 00:49:34,657
Now I know how you can afford
all this equipment.

494
00:49:34,740 --> 00:49:39,662
God. When I was your age, I flipped burgers
all summer just to buy an eight-track.

495
00:49:39,745 --> 00:49:43,791
- That sucks.
- No, actually it was great.

496
00:49:45,418 --> 00:49:48,379
All I did was party
and get laid.

497
00:49:50,006 --> 00:49:53,092
I had my whole life
ahead of me.

498
00:49:54,969 --> 00:49:59,307
My dad thinks I pay for all
this with catering jobs.

499
00:49:59,390 --> 00:50:02,351
Never underestimate
the power of denial.

500
00:50:35,426 --> 00:50:39,514
What the hell do you
think you're doing?

501
00:50:39,597 --> 00:50:42,433
Uh-oh. Mom's mad.

502
00:50:42,517 --> 00:50:44,560
Bench presses.

503
00:50:44,644 --> 00:50:49,273
I'm going to whale on my pecks,
and then I'm going to do my back.

504
00:50:49,357 --> 00:50:53,236
I see you're smoking pot now.
I... I'm so glad.

505
00:50:53,319 --> 00:50:55,780
I think using illegal
psychotropic substances...

506
00:50:55,863 --> 00:50:58,366
is a very positive example
to set for our daughter.

507
00:50:58,449 --> 00:51:02,703
You're one to talk, you bloodless,
money-grubbing freak.

508
00:51:03,913 --> 00:51:05,915
Uh... Lester!

509
00:51:05,998 --> 00:51:08,042
You have such hostility in you.

510
00:51:08,126 --> 00:51:12,380
Do you mind? I'm trying to work
out here. Unless... you want to spot me.

511
00:51:12,463 --> 00:51:16,050
Lester, you will not
get away with this.

512
00:51:16,134 --> 00:51:19,262
You can be sure of that.

513
00:51:19,345 --> 00:51:22,932
That's... what...

514
00:51:23,015 --> 00:51:25,101
you... think.

515
00:51:25,351 --> 00:51:28,813
"My job consists of
basically masking...

516
00:51:28,896 --> 00:51:32,608
"my contempt for
the assholes in charge...

517
00:51:32,692 --> 00:51:36,320
"and at least once a day
retiring to the men's room...

518
00:51:36,404 --> 00:51:38,573
"so I can jerk off...

519
00:51:38,656 --> 00:51:41,284
"while I fantasize
about a life...

520
00:51:41,367 --> 00:51:44,787
that doesn't so closely
resemble hell."

521
00:51:44,871 --> 00:51:48,583
Well, you obviously have no interest
in saving yourself.

522
00:51:48,666 --> 00:51:52,837
Brad, for 14 years, I've been a whore
for the advertising industry.

523
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:56,632
The only way I could save myself now
is if I start firebombing.

524
00:51:56,716 --> 00:52:00,428
Whatever. Management wants you
gone by the end of the day.

525
00:52:00,511 --> 00:52:03,639
Just what sort of severance package
is management prepared to offer me,

526
00:52:03,723 --> 00:52:06,267
considering the information
I have about our editorial director...

527
00:52:06,350 --> 00:52:08,269
buying pussy
with company money?

528
00:52:08,352 --> 00:52:11,063
<i>Which I think</i>
<i>would interest the I.R.S.,</i>

529
00:52:11,147 --> 00:52:13,191
since it technically
constitutes fraud.

530
00:52:13,274 --> 00:52:16,194
And I'm sure that some of our
advertisers and rival publications...

531
00:52:16,277 --> 00:52:20,573
might like to know about it as well,
not to mention... Craig's wife.

532
00:52:22,658 --> 00:52:26,871
- What do you want?
- One year's salary <i>with</i> benefits.

533
00:52:26,954 --> 00:52:30,124
That's not going to happen.

534
00:52:30,208 --> 00:52:33,544
What do you say I throw in a little
sexual harassment charge to boot?

535
00:52:33,628 --> 00:52:37,381
Against who?

536
00:52:37,465 --> 00:52:39,300
Against you.

537
00:52:39,383 --> 00:52:42,887
<i>Can you prove that you</i>
<i>didn't offer to save my job...</i>

538
00:52:42,970 --> 00:52:45,515
if I let you blow me?

539
00:52:50,603 --> 00:52:54,023
Man... you are
one twisted fuck.

540
00:52:55,441 --> 00:52:58,653
Nope. I'm just
an ordinary guy...

541
00:52:58,736 --> 00:53:01,447
with nothing to lose.

542
00:53:06,410 --> 00:53:08,371
Yeah.

543
00:53:13,876 --> 00:53:16,504
- Carolyn.
- Buddy.

544
00:53:16,587 --> 00:53:20,800
- I am so sorry to have kept you waiting.
- Oh.

545
00:53:20,883 --> 00:53:23,261
Christy left for New York
this morning.

546
00:53:23,344 --> 00:53:26,806
Let's just say things were
a little... hectic around the house.

547
00:53:26,889 --> 00:53:30,393
- What's she doing in New York?
- She's moving there.

548
00:53:30,476 --> 00:53:32,478
Yes, we are splitting up.

549
00:53:32,562 --> 00:53:35,148
Buddy. I'm so sorry.

550
00:53:35,231 --> 00:53:38,901
Yes. According to her, I'm...

551
00:53:38,985 --> 00:53:40,987
too focused on my career.

552
00:53:41,070 --> 00:53:44,073
As if being driven to succeed is...

553
00:53:44,157 --> 00:53:47,869
some sort of a character flaw.

554
00:53:47,952 --> 00:53:51,914
Well, she certainly did take advantage
of the lifestyle my success afforded her.

555
00:53:51,998 --> 00:53:54,500
Ooh! Ha. Wow.

556
00:53:56,335 --> 00:53:59,505
- Ah, it's for the best.
- Mm-hmm.

557
00:53:59,589 --> 00:54:04,093
When I saw you two at the party the
other night, you seemed perfectly happy.

558
00:54:04,177 --> 00:54:06,846
Well, call me crazy,

559
00:54:06,929 --> 00:54:11,434
but it is my philosophy
that in order to be successful,

560
00:54:11,517 --> 00:54:14,270
one <i>must</i> project
an image of success...

561
00:54:14,353 --> 00:54:16,439
<i>at all times.</i>

562
00:54:35,917 --> 00:54:38,920
<i>What are you doing?</i>

563
00:54:39,003 --> 00:54:42,632
- <i>I was filming this dead bird.</i>
- Why?

564
00:54:42,715 --> 00:54:44,926
<i>Because it's beautiful.</i>

565
00:54:47,428 --> 00:54:51,099
I think maybe you forgot
your medication today, mental boy.

566
00:54:53,059 --> 00:54:55,019
<i>Hi, Jane.</i>

567
00:54:55,103 --> 00:54:57,522
I want you to stop filming me.

568
00:54:59,524 --> 00:55:01,442
Okay.

569
00:55:01,526 --> 00:55:04,070
Well, whatever. This is boring.

570
00:55:04,153 --> 00:55:06,864
Let's go.

571
00:55:06,948 --> 00:55:10,326
- Do you need a ride?
- <i>Are you crazy?</i>

572
00:55:10,410 --> 00:55:13,705
I don't want to end up hacked to pieces
in a Dumpster somewhere.

573
00:55:13,788 --> 00:55:17,250
It's okay. I'll walk.
But thanks.

574
00:55:17,333 --> 00:55:19,711
He doesn't want to go anyway.
Let's go.

575
00:55:21,045 --> 00:55:24,716
- <i>Come on, Jane.</i>
- I think I'm going to walk too.

576
00:55:24,799 --> 00:55:26,926
<i>What?</i>

577
00:55:27,010 --> 00:55:30,930
Jane, that's, like,
almost a mile.

578
00:55:43,318 --> 00:55:46,988
<i>Oh, God!</i>

579
00:55:47,071 --> 00:55:49,490
I love it! Oh! Oh!

580
00:55:49,574 --> 00:55:52,827
- You like getting nailed by the King?
- Oh, yes, I love it!

581
00:55:52,911 --> 00:55:55,705
- Fuck me, Your Majesty! Aah!
- Ohh!

582
00:55:55,788 --> 00:55:57,832
- Who's the King?
- Oh! You are!

583
00:56:41,334 --> 00:56:43,670
<i>Smile. You're at Mr. Smiley's.</i>

584
00:56:43,753 --> 00:56:45,672
What?

585
00:56:45,755 --> 00:56:50,009
Would you like to try our new bacon and egg
fajita for $1.29 for a limited time only?

586
00:56:50,093 --> 00:56:53,012
Uh, no, but thank you.

587
00:56:53,096 --> 00:56:57,100
I'd like the Big Barn Burger,
Smiley Fries and an orange soda.

588
00:56:57,183 --> 00:56:59,644
Please drive up to the window.
Thank you.

589
00:57:01,521 --> 00:57:05,149
Smile. You're at Mr. Smiley's.
That'll be 4.98, please.

590
00:57:07,485 --> 00:57:09,737
- Would you like some Smiley sauce?
- <i>No, no...</i>

591
00:57:09,821 --> 00:57:12,490
<i>Actually, I'd like</i>
<i>to fill out an application.</i>

592
00:57:12,574 --> 00:57:16,536
- There's no jobs for manager. It's just for counter.
- Good.

593
00:57:16,619 --> 00:57:21,666
I'm looking for the least possible
amount of responsibility.

594
00:57:23,793 --> 00:57:26,087
I don't think
you'd fit in here.

595
00:57:26,170 --> 00:57:29,299
I have fast food experience.

596
00:57:29,382 --> 00:57:31,676
Yeah, like 20 years ago.

597
00:57:31,759 --> 00:57:35,638
I'm sure there've been amazing
technological advances in the industry,

598
00:57:35,722 --> 00:57:38,308
but surely you must have
some sort of training program.

599
00:57:38,391 --> 00:57:41,185
It seems unfair to presume
I won't be able to learn.

600
00:57:45,565 --> 00:57:48,860
- That was exactly what I needed...
- Mm.

601
00:57:51,821 --> 00:57:54,866
the "royal treatment,"
so to speak.

602
00:57:57,243 --> 00:58:00,496
I was so stressed out. Ah!

603
00:58:00,580 --> 00:58:03,249
- Ah! Ah.
- Mm.

604
00:58:06,544 --> 00:58:09,297
Know what I do
when I feel like that?

605
00:58:09,380 --> 00:58:11,674
What?

606
00:58:11,758 --> 00:58:14,677
- I fire a gun.
- Really?

607
00:58:14,761 --> 00:58:17,639
Oh, yeah. I go to this
little firing range downtown,

608
00:58:17,722 --> 00:58:22,060
and I... just pop off
a few rounds.

609
00:58:22,143 --> 00:58:26,064
- I've never fired a gun before.
- Well, you've gotta try it.

610
00:58:26,147 --> 00:58:29,067
Nothing makes you feel
more powerful.

611
00:58:31,152 --> 00:58:33,488
Well...

612
00:58:33,571 --> 00:58:35,740
almost nothing.

613
00:58:40,119 --> 00:58:43,623
- So, do you like your new house?
- I like it.

614
00:58:43,706 --> 00:58:47,210
The people who used to live there fed these
stray cats, so they were always around,

615
00:58:47,293 --> 00:58:49,963
and it drove
my mother nuts.

616
00:58:50,046 --> 00:58:54,008
And then she cut down
their tree.

617
00:58:54,092 --> 00:58:56,177
Is that a funeral?

618
00:58:56,261 --> 00:59:00,556
Yeah. Have you ever
known anybody who died?

619
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:03,559
No. Have you?

620
00:59:03,643 --> 00:59:05,728
No.

621
00:59:05,812 --> 00:59:08,648
But I did see this homeless woman
who froze to death once...

622
00:59:08,731 --> 00:59:11,150
just laying there
on the sidewalk.

623
00:59:11,234 --> 00:59:13,486
She looked really sad.

624
00:59:26,499 --> 00:59:29,586
I got that homeless woman
on videotape.

625
00:59:29,669 --> 00:59:31,754
Why would you film that?

626
00:59:31,838 --> 00:59:35,592
- Because it was amazing.
- What's amazing about it?

627
00:59:35,675 --> 00:59:39,804
When you see something like that,
it's like God is looking right at you,

628
00:59:39,887 --> 00:59:41,889
just for a second,

629
00:59:41,973 --> 00:59:44,809
and if you're careful,
you can look right back.

630
00:59:44,892 --> 00:59:47,729
And what do you see?

631
00:59:47,812 --> 00:59:49,814
Beauty.

632
01:00:05,663 --> 01:00:08,791
Mom, I want you
to meet somebody.

633
01:00:12,629 --> 01:00:15,548
- Mom.
- Yes?

634
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:21,930
I want you to meet somebody.
This is Jane.

635
01:00:22,013 --> 01:00:24,307
- <i>Hi.</i>
- Oh, my.

636
01:00:24,390 --> 01:00:27,894
I apologize for the way
things look around here.

637
01:00:37,904 --> 01:00:40,448
<i>This is where my dad hides out.</i>

638
01:00:40,531 --> 01:00:42,992
<i>I take it he's got a thing for guns.</i>

639
01:00:44,535 --> 01:00:48,498
You gotta see
this one thing.

640
01:00:48,581 --> 01:00:52,001
My dad would kill me
if he knew I was in here.

641
01:00:52,085 --> 01:00:54,087
Did you steal his keys?

642
01:00:54,170 --> 01:00:57,090
No. One of my clients
is a locksmith.

643
01:00:57,173 --> 01:01:01,135
He was short on cash one night,
so I let him pay me in trade.

644
01:01:14,357 --> 01:01:16,526
Turn it over.

645
01:01:19,779 --> 01:01:22,448
Oh, my God.

646
01:01:22,532 --> 01:01:24,951
It's, like, official state china
of the Third Reich.

647
01:01:25,034 --> 01:01:28,955
There's a whole subculture
of people who collect this Nazi shit.

648
01:01:29,038 --> 01:01:31,541
But my dad just has
this one thing.

649
01:01:43,678 --> 01:01:46,973
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.

650
01:01:47,056 --> 01:01:50,059
No, you're scared of me.

651
01:01:51,144 --> 01:01:53,313
No, I'm not.

652
01:01:53,396 --> 01:01:57,900
<i>You want to see the most beautiful thing</i>
<i>I've ever filmed?</i>

653
01:02:20,632 --> 01:02:23,051
It was one of those days...

654
01:02:23,134 --> 01:02:26,095
where it's a minute
away from snowing,

655
01:02:28,306 --> 01:02:31,267
and there was this electricity
in the air.

656
01:02:33,728 --> 01:02:36,314
You can almost hear it.

657
01:02:36,397 --> 01:02:38,483
Right?

658
01:02:42,237 --> 01:02:46,074
And this bag was just...

659
01:02:46,157 --> 01:02:48,952
dancing with me,

660
01:02:50,954 --> 01:02:55,833
like a little kid
begging me to play with it,

661
01:02:55,917 --> 01:02:58,503
for 15 minutes.

662
01:03:01,965 --> 01:03:06,052
That's the day I realized
that there was this...

663
01:03:06,135 --> 01:03:10,056
entire life behind things...

664
01:03:13,184 --> 01:03:17,272
<i>and this incredibly</i>
<i>benevolent force...</i>

665
01:03:17,355 --> 01:03:21,651
<i>that wanted me to know that there</i>
<i>was no reason to be afraid...</i>

666
01:03:23,236 --> 01:03:25,446
<i>ever.</i>

667
01:03:27,657 --> 01:03:30,285
<i>Video's a poor excuse, I know,</i>

668
01:03:33,037 --> 01:03:35,540
<i>but it helps me remember.</i>

669
01:03:39,252 --> 01:03:41,671
<i>I need to remember.</i>

670
01:03:48,553 --> 01:03:51,806
Sometimes there's so much...

671
01:03:51,889 --> 01:03:54,767
beauty...

672
01:03:54,851 --> 01:03:57,270
in the world.

673
01:03:58,688 --> 01:04:02,150
I feel like
I can't take it...

674
01:04:05,320 --> 01:04:08,156
and my heart...

675
01:04:08,239 --> 01:04:10,783
is just going to...

676
01:04:10,867 --> 01:04:13,202
cave in.

677
01:04:59,707 --> 01:05:03,294
Oh, my God.
What time is it?

678
01:05:10,260 --> 01:05:12,887
- Sorry I'm late.
- No, that's quite all right, dear.

679
01:05:12,971 --> 01:05:15,848
Your father and I were
just discussing his day at work.

680
01:05:15,932 --> 01:05:18,351
Why don't you tell
our daughter about it, honey?

681
01:05:18,434 --> 01:05:21,479
Janie, today I quit my job.

682
01:05:21,562 --> 01:05:24,482
Then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and
then I blackmailed him for almost $60,000.

683
01:05:24,565 --> 01:05:26,401
- Pass the asparagus.
- <i>Your father seems to think...</i>

684
01:05:26,484 --> 01:05:28,945
this kind of behavior
is something to be proud of.

685
01:05:29,028 --> 01:05:31,781
And your mother seems to prefer that I
go through life like a fucking prisoner...

686
01:05:31,864 --> 01:05:34,117
while she keeps my dick
in a Mason jar under the sink.

687
01:05:34,200 --> 01:05:36,786
How dare you speak to me
that way in front of her?

688
01:05:36,869 --> 01:05:39,455
And I marvel that you can be
so contemptuous of me...

689
01:05:39,539 --> 01:05:42,041
on the same day
that you lose your job!

690
01:05:42,125 --> 01:05:44,294
I didn't lose it. It's not like,
"Whoops, where did my job go?"

691
01:05:44,377 --> 01:05:46,296
I quit!
Pass the asparagus.

692
01:05:46,379 --> 01:05:49,632
<i>Oh, oh, oh! And I want to thank you for</i>
<i>putting me under the added pressure...</i>

693
01:05:49,716 --> 01:05:51,759
of being the sole
breadwinner now.

694
01:05:51,843 --> 01:05:53,761
- I already have a job.
- <i>No, no!</i>

695
01:05:53,845 --> 01:05:56,431
<i>Don't give a second thought</i>
<i>as to who's going to pay the mortgage.</i>

696
01:05:56,514 --> 01:05:58,766
We'll leave it up to Carolyn. "You're going
to take care of everything now, Carolyn?"

697
01:05:58,850 --> 01:06:00,602
"Yes. I don't mind."

698
01:06:00,685 --> 01:06:03,313
<i>"Everything? You don't mind having</i>
<i>the sole responsibility?</i>

699
01:06:03,396 --> 01:06:05,982
Your husband feels he can just
quit his job, and you don't..."

700
01:06:06,065 --> 01:06:08,276
Will someone please pass me
the fucking asparagus?

701
01:06:08,359 --> 01:06:10,945
- I'm not going to be a part of this.
- Sit down!

702
01:06:31,341 --> 01:06:34,677
I am sick and tired of being treated
like I don't exist.

703
01:06:34,761 --> 01:06:38,848
You two do whatever you want to do whenever
you want to do it, and I don't complain.

704
01:06:38,932 --> 01:06:42,185
- All I want...
- Oh, you don't complain? Oh, please! Excuse me!

705
01:06:42,268 --> 01:06:45,188
I must be psychotic then!
If you don't complain, what is this?

706
01:06:45,271 --> 01:06:49,651
<i>Yeah, let's bring in the laugh meter</i>
<i>and see how loud it gets on that one.</i>

707
01:07:00,370 --> 01:07:02,664
Don't interrupt me, honey.

708
01:07:16,636 --> 01:07:18,638
And another thing.

709
01:07:18,721 --> 01:07:21,307
From now on, we're going
to alternate our dinner music,

710
01:07:21,391 --> 01:07:23,977
because, frankly...
and I don't think I'm alone here...

711
01:07:24,060 --> 01:07:27,438
I am really tired
of this Lawrence Welk shit.

712
01:07:36,030 --> 01:07:38,700
- Go away.
- <i>Please.</i>

713
01:07:38,783 --> 01:07:40,910
<i>Please let me in.</i>

714
01:07:49,544 --> 01:07:52,589
Look, I wish that you hadn't witnessed
that awful scene tonight,

715
01:07:52,672 --> 01:07:54,591
but in a way, I'm glad.

716
01:07:54,674 --> 01:07:58,303
Why? So I could see
what freaks you and Dad really are?

717
01:07:58,386 --> 01:08:00,471
Me?

718
01:08:02,056 --> 01:08:04,809
Tsk. God.

719
01:08:04,892 --> 01:08:07,520
Oh, Christ. Mom.

720
01:08:07,604 --> 01:08:10,481
No, I'm glad because, uh...

721
01:08:12,734 --> 01:08:18,197
because you're old enough now to learn
the most important lesson in life:

722
01:08:18,281 --> 01:08:22,452
You cannot count
on anyone except yourself.

723
01:08:27,290 --> 01:08:30,460
You cannot count on
anyone except yourself.

724
01:08:31,920 --> 01:08:34,756
You know, it's sad but true,

725
01:08:34,839 --> 01:08:37,216
and the sooner you learn it,
the better.

726
01:08:37,300 --> 01:08:41,220
Look, Mom, I really don't feel like
having a Kodak moment here.

727
01:08:41,304 --> 01:08:44,140
You ungrateful little brat!

728
01:08:44,223 --> 01:08:47,268
Just look at everything
you have!

729
01:08:47,352 --> 01:08:49,938
When I was your age,
I lived in a duplex!

730
01:08:50,021 --> 01:08:53,983
We didn't even have
our own house.

731
01:10:53,603 --> 01:10:55,521
You little bastard!

732
01:10:55,605 --> 01:10:57,523
<i>Dad, no, I just...</i>

733
01:10:57,607 --> 01:10:59,692
How did you get in there?

734
01:10:59,776 --> 01:11:01,611
How? How?

735
01:11:03,571 --> 01:11:05,907
Come on! Get up!
Come on!

736
01:11:05,990 --> 01:11:07,825
Get up!

737
01:11:07,909 --> 01:11:09,911
<i>Fight back,</i>
<i>you little pussy!</i>

738
01:11:09,994 --> 01:11:12,705
- No, sir, I won't fight you.
- How?

739
01:11:12,789 --> 01:11:15,750
- How did you get in there?
- I picked the lock, sir.

740
01:11:15,833 --> 01:11:19,504
What were you looking for, huh?
Money? Are you on dope again?

741
01:11:19,587 --> 01:11:23,383
No, sir. I wanted to show
my girlfriend your Nazi plate.

742
01:11:23,466 --> 01:11:25,260
A girlfriend?

743
01:11:25,343 --> 01:11:28,012
Yes, sir. She lives next door.

744
01:11:40,942 --> 01:11:43,611
<i>Her name's Jane.</i>

745
01:12:02,589 --> 01:12:05,508
This is for
your own good, boy.

746
01:12:07,844 --> 01:12:12,515
You have no respect for other
people's things and for authority...

747
01:12:12,599 --> 01:12:14,642
Yes, sir. I'm sorry.

748
01:12:14,726 --> 01:12:18,896
Can't just go around doing
whatever you feel like.

749
01:12:18,980 --> 01:12:21,399
You can't.
There are rules in life.

750
01:12:21,482 --> 01:12:24,235
Yes, sir.

751
01:12:26,195 --> 01:12:29,616
You need structure, yeah.
You need...

752
01:12:29,699 --> 01:12:32,619
- Discipline.
- Yes, sir. Thank you for trying to teach me.

753
01:12:32,702 --> 01:12:35,038
Don't give up on me, Dad.

754
01:12:39,834 --> 01:12:41,753
Oh, Ricky.

755
01:12:46,716 --> 01:12:49,385
You stay out of there.

756
01:13:36,891 --> 01:13:39,143
- Whoo!
- I gotta say, Mrs. Burnham,

757
01:13:39,227 --> 01:13:43,189
when you first came here, I thought you
would be hopeless, but you're a natural.

758
01:13:43,273 --> 01:13:46,818
Well, all I know is
I love shooting this gun.

759
01:15:00,016 --> 01:15:01,935
What?

760
01:15:02,018 --> 01:15:04,646
Uh, whose car is that
out front?

761
01:15:04,729 --> 01:15:07,232
Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird,

762
01:15:07,315 --> 01:15:10,151
the car I've always wanted,
and now I have it.

763
01:15:10,235 --> 01:15:12,946
- I rule!
- Uh-huh. Where's the Camry?

764
01:15:13,029 --> 01:15:15,114
I traded it in.

765
01:15:15,198 --> 01:15:19,494
- Shouldn't you have consulted me first?
- Hm, let me think.

766
01:15:19,577 --> 01:15:21,829
No. You never drove it.

767
01:15:23,623 --> 01:15:26,626
Have you done something different?
You look great.

768
01:15:31,756 --> 01:15:33,675
Where's Jane?

769
01:15:33,758 --> 01:15:35,969
Jane not home.

770
01:15:42,517 --> 01:15:44,435
We have...

771
01:15:47,063 --> 01:15:50,108
the whole house...

772
01:15:50,191 --> 01:15:52,735
to ourselves.

773
01:15:54,904 --> 01:15:57,740
Christ, Carolyn.

774
01:15:57,824 --> 01:16:00,243
When did you become so...

775
01:16:01,911 --> 01:16:04,956
joyless?

776
01:16:05,039 --> 01:16:07,625
Joyless?

777
01:16:07,709 --> 01:16:10,253
I am not joyless.

778
01:16:10,336 --> 01:16:12,922
There happens to be
a lot about me...

779
01:16:13,006 --> 01:16:16,926
that you don't know,
Mr. Smarty Man.

780
01:16:17,010 --> 01:16:20,346
There's plenty of joy
in my life.

781
01:16:22,765 --> 01:16:25,268
Whatever happened to that girl...

782
01:16:28,271 --> 01:16:34,027
who used to fake seizures
at frat parties when she got bored?

783
01:16:34,110 --> 01:16:38,948
Who used to run up to the roof
of our first apartment building...

784
01:16:39,032 --> 01:16:41,784
to flash
the traffic helicopters?

785
01:16:41,868 --> 01:16:46,539
Have you totally forgotten about her?

786
01:16:46,623 --> 01:16:48,791
Because I haven't.

787
01:17:01,888 --> 01:17:05,141
Lester, you're going
to spill beer on the couch.

788
01:17:12,232 --> 01:17:14,150
So what?
It's just a couch.

789
01:17:16,486 --> 01:17:18,780
This is a $4,000 sofa,

790
01:17:18,863 --> 01:17:20,782
upholstered in Italian silk.

791
01:17:20,865 --> 01:17:22,951
This is not just a couch.

792
01:17:23,034 --> 01:17:26,788
It's just... a... couch!

793
01:17:26,871 --> 01:17:29,082
This isn't life!

794
01:17:29,165 --> 01:17:31,334
This is just stuff,

795
01:17:31,417 --> 01:17:34,003
and it's become more important
to you than living.

796
01:17:34,087 --> 01:17:36,297
Well, honey,
that's just nuts.

797
01:17:45,348 --> 01:17:47,850
I'm only trying to help you!

798
01:17:52,981 --> 01:17:55,775
Don't.

799
01:17:55,858 --> 01:17:57,944
<i>Why?</i>

800
01:18:00,697 --> 01:18:03,199
It's weird watching myself.

801
01:18:03,283 --> 01:18:05,702
I don't like how I look.

802
01:18:08,288 --> 01:18:11,207
<i>I can't believe you don't know</i>
<i>how beautiful you are.</i>

803
01:18:11,291 --> 01:18:15,295
Look. I'm not going
to sit here for that shit.

804
01:18:23,720 --> 01:18:26,639
Ha! How does it feel now?

805
01:18:26,723 --> 01:18:28,683
Fine.

806
01:18:28,766 --> 01:18:30,768
You don't feel naked?

807
01:18:32,145 --> 01:18:34,397
I <i>am</i> naked.

808
01:18:34,480 --> 01:18:36,900
You know what I mean.

809
01:18:45,992 --> 01:18:49,078
So tell me about
being in the hospital.

810
01:18:52,081 --> 01:18:56,085
When I was 15,
my dad caught me smoking dope.

811
01:18:56,169 --> 01:19:01,341
He totally freaked and decided
to send me to military school.

812
01:19:01,424 --> 01:19:04,928
I told you this whole thing
about structure and discipline, right?

813
01:19:05,011 --> 01:19:08,598
Of course,
I got kicked out.

814
01:19:08,681 --> 01:19:11,100
Dad and I had
this huge fight.

815
01:19:11,184 --> 01:19:14,312
<i>He hit me.</i>

816
01:19:14,395 --> 01:19:18,358
<i>And the next day at school,</i>
<i>some kid made a crack about my haircut,</i>

817
01:19:20,151 --> 01:19:22,278
and I just snapped.

818
01:19:25,949 --> 01:19:29,327
I wanted to kill him.

819
01:19:29,410 --> 01:19:31,788
I would've... killed him...

820
01:19:33,790 --> 01:19:36,376
if they hadn't pulled me off.

821
01:19:39,462 --> 01:19:43,508
That's when my dad
put me in the hospital.

822
01:19:43,591 --> 01:19:47,428
They drugged me up and left me
in there for two years.

823
01:19:48,888 --> 01:19:51,224
<i>Wow.</i>

824
01:19:51,307 --> 01:19:54,352
<i>You must really hate him.</i>

825
01:19:54,435 --> 01:19:57,105
No.

826
01:19:57,188 --> 01:19:59,357
He's not a bad man.

827
01:19:59,440 --> 01:20:04,070
Well, you'd better believe I'd hate my
dad if he did something like that to me.

828
01:20:04,153 --> 01:20:05,947
<i>Wait.</i>

829
01:20:06,030 --> 01:20:08,324
I already do hate my dad.

830
01:20:10,159 --> 01:20:12,287
Why?

831
01:20:14,289 --> 01:20:17,875
He's a total asshole;
he's got this crush on my friend Angela,

832
01:20:17,959 --> 01:20:20,169
and it's disgusting.

833
01:20:20,253 --> 01:20:23,798
You'd rather he had the crush on you.

834
01:20:23,881 --> 01:20:26,175
Gross. No.

835
01:20:29,554 --> 01:20:34,058
But it'd be nice if I was anywhere near
as important to him as she is.

836
01:20:37,145 --> 01:20:42,066
I know you think my dad's harmless,
but you're wrong.

837
01:20:42,150 --> 01:20:45,403
He's doing massive
psychological damage to me.

838
01:20:45,486 --> 01:20:47,655
How?

839
01:20:47,739 --> 01:20:51,284
<i>Well, now I, too,</i>
<i>need structure,</i>

840
01:20:51,367 --> 01:20:54,537
a little fucking discipline.

841
01:21:05,089 --> 01:21:07,759
I'm serious, though.

842
01:21:07,842 --> 01:21:10,762
How could he not
be damaging me?

843
01:21:12,722 --> 01:21:15,642
I need a father
who's a role model,

844
01:21:15,725 --> 01:21:18,311
not some horny geek boy
who's going to spray his shorts...

845
01:21:18,394 --> 01:21:23,107
whenever I bring a girlfriend
home from school.

846
01:21:23,191 --> 01:21:25,443
What a lame-o.

847
01:21:27,904 --> 01:21:31,074
Someone really should just...
put him out of his misery.

848
01:21:34,535 --> 01:21:37,247
Want me to kill him for you?

849
01:21:45,922 --> 01:21:48,091
Yeah. Would you?

850
01:21:49,842 --> 01:21:51,803
It'll cost you.

851
01:21:51,886 --> 01:21:54,555
I've been baby-sitting
since I was about ten.

852
01:21:54,639 --> 01:21:57,183
I've got almost $3,000.

853
01:21:59,769 --> 01:22:02,522
Of course I was saving it up
for a boob job.

854
01:22:04,023 --> 01:22:06,192
<i>But...</i>

855
01:22:19,706 --> 01:22:23,126
<i>You know, that's not</i>
<i>a very nice thing to do...</i>

856
01:22:25,503 --> 01:22:27,964
<i>hiring someone</i>
<i>to kill your dad.</i>

857
01:22:30,675 --> 01:22:35,346
Well, I guess I'm not
a very nice girl then, am I?

858
01:22:57,827 --> 01:23:00,538
You know I'm not serious, right?

859
01:23:01,623 --> 01:23:03,666
Of course.

860
01:23:18,306 --> 01:23:22,185
You know how lucky we are
to have found each other?

861
01:23:26,940 --> 01:23:29,400
<i>Remember those posters that said...</i>

862
01:23:29,484 --> 01:23:33,863
<i>"Today is the first day</i>
<i>of the rest of your life"?</i>

863
01:23:33,947 --> 01:23:38,534
<i>Well, that's true</i>
<i>with every day except one...</i>

864
01:23:38,618 --> 01:23:40,828
<i>the day you die.</i>

865
01:24:19,867 --> 01:24:21,661
<i>Jane, hurry up.</i>

866
01:24:21,744 --> 01:24:24,831
I've got a very important
appointment.

867
01:24:24,914 --> 01:24:29,085
- Is it okay if Angela sleeps over tonight?
- She's always welcome.

868
01:24:29,168 --> 01:24:33,548
I thought you two had a fight. I haven't
seen her around here in a while.

869
01:24:40,513 --> 01:24:42,473
What?

870
01:24:42,557 --> 01:24:45,643
I've been too embarrassed
to bring her over,

871
01:24:45,727 --> 01:24:48,313
because of you and that way
that you behave.

872
01:24:48,396 --> 01:24:51,733
- What are you talking about? I've barely even spoken to her.
- <i>Dad!</i>

873
01:24:51,816 --> 01:24:55,153
You stare at her all the time
like you're drunk!

874
01:24:55,236 --> 01:24:57,488
- <i>It's disgusting!</i>
- You better watch yourself,

875
01:24:57,572 --> 01:25:02,243
or you're going to turn into
a real bitch just like your mother!

876
01:25:04,495 --> 01:25:06,414
Oh, fuck.

877
01:25:14,339 --> 01:25:16,841
You ready to go?

878
01:25:16,925 --> 01:25:19,093
Oh, I-I don't need a ride.

879
01:25:19,177 --> 01:25:21,596
I'm going with Jane
and her mom.

880
01:25:28,603 --> 01:25:30,521
Oh, morning!

881
01:25:30,605 --> 01:25:32,565
<i>Yo, Ricky!</i>

882
01:25:32,649 --> 01:25:35,568
- How's it going?
- Pretty decent, Mr. Burnham.

883
01:25:35,652 --> 01:25:37,779
Hey. Wait.

884
01:26:56,357 --> 01:26:59,277
<i>I need that Super Smiley</i>
<i>with cheese ASAP!</i>

885
01:26:59,360 --> 01:27:02,238
- You need more than that, my little hombre.
- <i>May I take your order?</i>

886
01:27:02,322 --> 01:27:05,325
- <i>Oh, yeah! What's good here?</i>
- <i>Nothing.</i>

887
01:27:05,408 --> 01:27:08,453
<i>Oh, well, then I guess</i>
<i>we'll just have to be bad, won't we?</i>

888
01:27:08,536 --> 01:27:11,873
I'll have a Double Smiley sandwich,

889
01:27:11,956 --> 01:27:14,459
- <i>curly fries and a vanilla shake.</i>
- <i>Make that two.</i>

890
01:27:14,542 --> 01:27:18,379
<i>That'll be 7.98. Please</i>
<i>drive up to the window. Thank you.</i>

891
01:27:18,463 --> 01:27:22,884
I think we deserve a little junk food
after the workout we had this morning.

892
01:27:24,886 --> 01:27:28,389
- Did you know that?
- Thank you. I'm flattered.

893
01:27:28,473 --> 01:27:31,100
Smile!
You're at Mr. Smiley's!

894
01:27:32,727 --> 01:27:35,813
Would you like to try our new beef
and cheese pot pie on a stick?

895
01:27:35,897 --> 01:27:38,358
Just $1.99 for
a limited time only.

896
01:27:38,441 --> 01:27:43,404
- We were just at a seminar. Buddy, this is my...
- <i>Her husband.</i>

897
01:27:43,488 --> 01:27:45,907
We've met before,
but something tells me...

898
01:27:45,990 --> 01:27:48,368
you're going
to remember me this time.

899
01:27:48,451 --> 01:27:50,495
<i>Whoa!</i>

900
01:27:50,578 --> 01:27:53,581
You are so busted.

901
01:27:53,665 --> 01:27:55,708
This really doesn't concern you.

902
01:27:55,792 --> 01:28:00,505
Well, actually, Janine is senior
drive-thru manager, so you are on her turf.

903
01:28:02,799 --> 01:28:07,345
So, this makes sense.

904
01:28:07,428 --> 01:28:09,889
- Oh, Lester...
- <i>Honey, it's okay.</i>

905
01:28:09,973 --> 01:28:13,726
I want you to be happy.
Would you like Smiley Sauce with that?

906
01:28:13,810 --> 01:28:15,728
- Lester, just stop it!
- <i>No, no.</i>

907
01:28:15,812 --> 01:28:17,897
You...

908
01:28:17,981 --> 01:28:21,067
don't get to tell me
what to do...

909
01:28:21,150 --> 01:28:23,528
ever again.

910
01:28:37,458 --> 01:28:39,460
I'm sorry.

911
01:28:40,920 --> 01:28:43,840
I guess we should
cool it for a while.

912
01:28:45,925 --> 01:28:49,053
I'm facing a potentially
very expensive divorce.

913
01:28:49,137 --> 01:28:52,056
No, no,
I understand completely.

914
01:28:52,140 --> 01:28:54,475
It's...

915
01:28:54,559 --> 01:28:59,772
"In order to be successful, one must
project an image of success at all times."

916
01:29:26,090 --> 01:29:28,343
Stop it. Stop it.

917
01:30:07,048 --> 01:30:10,343
Shit.

918
01:30:17,308 --> 01:30:19,394
I have to run next door.

919
01:30:19,477 --> 01:30:23,565
Jane left her geometry book in my bag,
and she needs it to do her homework.

920
01:30:32,323 --> 01:30:37,078
So you and psycho boy are fucking on,
like, a regular basis now, right?

921
01:30:37,161 --> 01:30:39,163
No.

922
01:30:39,247 --> 01:30:42,333
Come on. You can tell me.
Does he have a big dick?

923
01:30:42,417 --> 01:30:46,838
I'm not going to talk about his dick
with you, okay? It's not like that.

924
01:30:46,921 --> 01:30:50,258
Not like what?
Doesn't he have one?

925
01:30:50,341 --> 01:30:52,594
Why don't you want
to talk about it?

926
01:30:52,677 --> 01:30:56,055
- I tell you every detail about every guy that I fuck.
- Yeah.

927
01:30:56,139 --> 01:31:00,977
Maybe you shouldn't, all right? Maybe I
really don't want to hear about all that.

928
01:31:01,060 --> 01:31:04,772
So now that you have a boyfriend,
you're, like, above it?

929
01:31:04,856 --> 01:31:08,860
We got to get you
a real man.

930
01:31:28,796 --> 01:31:32,383
- You got any papers?
- Yeah, in the cigar box right over there.

931
01:31:32,467 --> 01:31:36,054
Put up a fight, dude. You are such a
pushover. "No, I can't, really. Okay."

932
01:31:36,137 --> 01:31:38,389
You should learn
to roll a joint.

933
01:32:42,537 --> 01:32:44,706
<i>Oh! Hi.</i>

934
01:32:44,789 --> 01:32:47,792
- <i>Where's Mom?</i>
- Don't know.

935
01:32:47,875 --> 01:32:51,129
- Hi, Mr. Burnham.
- Hi.

936
01:32:51,212 --> 01:32:55,633
Wow, look at you.
Have you been working out?

937
01:32:55,717 --> 01:32:58,386
Some.

938
01:33:01,931 --> 01:33:04,225
You can really tell.

939
01:33:06,644 --> 01:33:08,730
Look at those arms.

940
01:33:13,192 --> 01:33:15,403
You like... muscles?

941
01:33:16,988 --> 01:33:21,910
I should probably
go see what Jane's up to.

942
01:33:33,046 --> 01:33:35,298
<i>Where did you get that?</i>

943
01:33:37,258 --> 01:33:40,345
- <i>From my job.</i>
- Don't lie to me.

944
01:33:42,972 --> 01:33:45,934
Now, I saw you with him.

945
01:33:46,017 --> 01:33:48,436
You were watching me?

946
01:33:49,604 --> 01:33:51,856
What does he make you do?

947
01:33:51,940 --> 01:33:54,400
Oh.

948
01:33:54,484 --> 01:33:57,237
Dad, you don't really think
me and Mr. Burnham...

949
01:33:57,320 --> 01:34:00,531
Don't you laugh at me!

950
01:34:00,615 --> 01:34:05,536
I will not sit back and watch
my only son become a cock sucker!

951
01:34:05,620 --> 01:34:07,538
Jesus, what is it with you?

952
01:34:10,291 --> 01:34:12,627
I swear to God...

953
01:34:12,710 --> 01:34:15,421
I'll throw you out of this house
and never look at you again!

954
01:34:15,505 --> 01:34:19,550
- You mean that.
- You're damn straight I do!

955
01:34:19,634 --> 01:34:23,554
I'd rather you were dead
than be a fuckin' faggot!

956
01:34:34,732 --> 01:34:36,985
You're right.

957
01:34:40,321 --> 01:34:43,283
- I suck dick for money.
- Boy, don't start.

958
01:34:43,366 --> 01:34:47,245
- Two thousand dollars. I'm that good.
- Get out!

959
01:34:47,328 --> 01:34:51,791
You should see me fuck. I'm the
best piece of ass in three states.

960
01:34:51,874 --> 01:34:55,670
Damn it, get out!
I don't ever want to see you again.

961
01:35:01,593 --> 01:35:05,597
What a sad...
old man you are.

962
01:35:06,848 --> 01:35:08,766
Get out.

963
01:35:34,667 --> 01:35:38,296
Mom... I'm leaving.

964
01:35:38,379 --> 01:35:40,548
Okay.

965
01:35:43,217 --> 01:35:45,219
Wear a raincoat.

966
01:35:52,310 --> 01:35:55,230
I wish things would have
been better for you.

967
01:35:59,234 --> 01:36:01,236
Take care of Dad.

968
01:36:33,184 --> 01:36:35,728
<i>...disinvesting problems of power...</i>

969
01:36:35,812 --> 01:36:38,648
<i>and removing their ability</i>
<i>to make us afraid.</i>

970
01:36:38,731 --> 01:36:42,068
<i>This is the secret</i>
<i>to "Me-Centered Living."</i>

971
01:36:42,151 --> 01:36:44,862
<i>Only by taking</i>
<i>full responsibility...</i>

972
01:36:44,946 --> 01:36:47,323
<i>for your actions</i>
<i>and their solutions...</i>

973
01:36:47,407 --> 01:36:51,369
<i>will you ever break free</i>
<i>from the constant cycle of victimhood.</i>

974
01:36:51,452 --> 01:36:56,874
You are only a victim if you choose
to be a victim. We all have the power...

975
01:36:56,958 --> 01:36:59,586
<i>I don't think</i>
<i>we can be friends any more!</i>

976
01:36:59,669 --> 01:37:01,588
<i>You're too uptight about sex.</i>

977
01:37:01,671 --> 01:37:05,008
Just don't fuck my dad,
all right?

978
01:37:05,091 --> 01:37:07,218
- Please?
- Why not?

979
01:37:07,302 --> 01:37:10,722
Dad, leave us alone!

980
01:37:10,805 --> 01:37:13,266
<i>It's me.</i>

981
01:37:13,349 --> 01:37:16,644
- If I had to leave tonight, would you come with me?
- What?

982
01:37:16,728 --> 01:37:20,315
If I had to go to New York to live,
tonight, would you come with me?

983
01:37:21,983 --> 01:37:24,027
Yes.

984
01:37:24,110 --> 01:37:28,573
<i>You guys can't be serious. You're just</i>
<i>a kid, and he's, like, a mental case.</i>

985
01:37:28,656 --> 01:37:32,577
- <i>You'll end up living in a box on the street.</i>
- I'm no more a kid than you are.

986
01:37:32,660 --> 01:37:35,872
- <i>We can use my plastic surgery money.</i>
- We won't have to.

987
01:37:35,955 --> 01:37:39,667
I have over $40,000. I know people
in the city that can help us get set up.

988
01:37:39,751 --> 01:37:42,921
- What, other drug dealers?
- Yes.

989
01:37:43,004 --> 01:37:46,007
- You'd be out of your mind to go with him.
- Why do you even care?

990
01:37:46,090 --> 01:37:49,093
- Because you're my friend.
- She's not your friend.

991
01:37:49,177 --> 01:37:51,429
She's someone you use
to feel better about yourself.

992
01:37:51,512 --> 01:37:54,933
- Go fuck yourself, psycho!
- Hey, shut up, bitch!

993
01:37:55,016 --> 01:37:58,102
- Jane, he's a freak!
- Well, then so am I!

994
01:37:58,186 --> 01:38:01,522
We'll always be freaks,
and we'll never be like other people!

995
01:38:01,606 --> 01:38:05,318
And you'll never be a freak
'cause you're just... too perfect!

996
01:38:05,401 --> 01:38:09,697
Yeah, well,
at least I'm not ugly.

997
01:38:11,532 --> 01:38:13,660
Yes, you are.

998
01:38:13,743 --> 01:38:17,288
And you're boring,
and you're totally ordinary,

999
01:38:17,372 --> 01:38:19,958
<i>and you know it.</i>

1000
01:38:22,335 --> 01:38:24,504
You two deserve each other.

1001
01:39:25,189 --> 01:39:27,609
Jesus, man,
you're soaked.

1002
01:39:38,202 --> 01:39:42,123
You want me to get Ricky?
He's in Jane's room.

1003
01:39:43,458 --> 01:39:45,585
Are you okay?

1004
01:39:45,668 --> 01:39:47,629
Where's your wife?

1005
01:39:49,172 --> 01:39:51,257
Uh, I don't know.

1006
01:39:51,341 --> 01:39:55,303
Probably out fucking that dorky
Prince of Real Estate asshole.

1007
01:39:56,638 --> 01:39:59,224
And you know what?

1008
01:39:59,307 --> 01:40:01,267
I don't care.

1009
01:40:11,653 --> 01:40:14,572
Your wife is
with another man, and...

1010
01:40:14,656 --> 01:40:16,741
you don't care?

1011
01:40:18,993 --> 01:40:21,412
Nope.

1012
01:40:21,496 --> 01:40:24,249
Our marriage is just for show.

1013
01:40:24,332 --> 01:40:27,502
A commercial
for how normal we are...

1014
01:40:27,585 --> 01:40:29,796
when we're anything but.

1015
01:40:37,428 --> 01:40:39,597
Jesus, man,
you are shaking.

1016
01:40:39,681 --> 01:40:43,518
We really ought to get you
out of these clothes.

1017
01:40:43,601 --> 01:40:46,437
Yeah.

1018
01:40:46,521 --> 01:40:49,607
It's okay.

1019
01:40:52,026 --> 01:40:55,280
I... am...

1020
01:40:55,363 --> 01:40:58,366
You just tell me what you need.

1021
01:41:01,578 --> 01:41:04,122
It's okay.

1022
01:41:19,470 --> 01:41:21,723
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1023
01:41:25,310 --> 01:41:27,770
I'm sorry.

1024
01:41:27,854 --> 01:41:30,356
Y-You got the wrong idea.

1025
01:42:07,268 --> 01:42:09,771
<i>"I refuse to be a victim."</i>

1026
01:42:09,854 --> 01:42:12,106
<i>When this becomes your mantra,</i>

1027
01:42:12,190 --> 01:42:15,151
<i>constantly reinforcing</i>
<i>your new non...</i>

1028
01:42:17,862 --> 01:42:21,282
I refuse to be a victim!

1029
01:43:05,034 --> 01:43:08,288
I hope you don't mind
if I play the stereo.

1030
01:43:08,371 --> 01:43:10,623
<i>Not at all.</i>

1031
01:43:10,707 --> 01:43:13,376
Bad night?

1032
01:43:13,459 --> 01:43:16,546
<i>Not really bad, just...</i>

1033
01:43:16,629 --> 01:43:18,631
strange.

1034
01:43:18,715 --> 01:43:23,428
<i>Believe me, it couldn't possibly be</i>
<i>any stranger than mine.</i>

1035
01:43:30,560 --> 01:43:34,480
Jane and I had a fight.

1036
01:43:34,564 --> 01:43:36,691
It was about you.

1037
01:43:39,319 --> 01:43:42,447
<i>She's mad at me because...</i>

1038
01:43:42,530 --> 01:43:44,824
I said I think you're sexy.

1039
01:43:46,910 --> 01:43:48,995
Do you want a sip?

1040
01:43:49,078 --> 01:43:51,664
Sure.

1041
01:44:19,359 --> 01:44:22,862
So.

1042
01:44:22,946 --> 01:44:26,157
You gonna tell me?

1043
01:44:29,619 --> 01:44:32,163
What do you want?

1044
01:44:35,124 --> 01:44:38,878
I don't know.

1045
01:44:38,962 --> 01:44:43,508
You... don't know?

1046
01:44:43,591 --> 01:44:47,053
What do you want?

1047
01:44:47,136 --> 01:44:50,139
Are you kidding?

1048
01:44:50,223 --> 01:44:53,434
I want you.

1049
01:44:56,104 --> 01:44:59,816
I've wanted you since
the first moment I saw you.

1050
01:45:02,235 --> 01:45:05,780
You are the most beautiful thing
I have ever seen.

1051
01:45:13,413 --> 01:45:16,749
You don't think I'm ordinary?

1052
01:45:18,626 --> 01:45:22,547
You couldn't be ordinary if you tried.

1053
01:45:24,966 --> 01:45:27,719
Thank you.

1054
01:45:27,802 --> 01:45:32,390
I don't think there's anything
worse than being ordinary.

1055
01:45:49,908 --> 01:45:52,410
I refuse to be a victim.

1056
01:45:52,493 --> 01:45:55,914
I refuse to be a victim.
I refuse to be a victim.

1057
01:45:55,997 --> 01:45:58,082
Lester,

1058
01:45:58,166 --> 01:46:00,960
I have something
I have to say to you.

1059
01:46:49,884 --> 01:46:53,137
Are you scared?

1060
01:46:53,221 --> 01:46:55,682
I don't get scared.

1061
01:46:58,309 --> 01:47:01,062
My parents will try
to find me.

1062
01:47:01,145 --> 01:47:04,190
Mine won't.

1063
01:47:24,419 --> 01:47:27,380
This is my first time.

1064
01:47:29,882 --> 01:47:32,010
You're kidding.

1065
01:47:32,093 --> 01:47:34,095
I'm sorry.

1066
01:47:34,178 --> 01:47:36,806
I still want to do it.

1067
01:47:36,890 --> 01:47:40,184
I just... thought
I should tell you...

1068
01:47:40,268 --> 01:47:42,478
in case you wondered why I...

1069
01:47:42,562 --> 01:47:45,398
I wasn't... better.

1070
01:47:58,578 --> 01:48:00,830
What's wrong?

1071
01:48:06,878 --> 01:48:10,673
<i>I thought you said</i>
<i>I was beautiful.</i>

1072
01:48:10,757 --> 01:48:12,800
You <i>are</i> beautiful.

1073
01:48:15,511 --> 01:48:19,140
You are so... beautiful.

1074
01:48:22,477 --> 01:48:24,938
And I would be a very...

1075
01:48:25,021 --> 01:48:26,981
lucky man.

1076
01:48:28,316 --> 01:48:30,944
I feel so stupid.

1077
01:48:31,027 --> 01:48:33,529
Don't.

1078
01:48:33,613 --> 01:48:36,658
- Shh.
- I'm sorry.

1079
01:48:36,741 --> 01:48:40,745
You have nothing
to be sorry about.

1080
01:48:40,828 --> 01:48:43,748
It's okay.

1081
01:48:43,831 --> 01:48:47,126
Everything's okay.

1082
01:49:02,183 --> 01:49:04,936
Wow, I was starving.

1083
01:49:05,019 --> 01:49:09,524
- Do you want me to make you another one?
- No, no, no. I'm fine.

1084
01:49:09,607 --> 01:49:11,943
You sure?

1085
01:49:12,026 --> 01:49:17,031
I'm still a little weirded out,
but I feel better. Thanks.

1086
01:49:20,493 --> 01:49:24,205
- How's Jane?
- What do you mean?

1087
01:49:25,707 --> 01:49:28,167
I mean,

1088
01:49:28,251 --> 01:49:30,628
how's her life?

1089
01:49:30,712 --> 01:49:32,839
Is she happy?

1090
01:49:32,922 --> 01:49:36,092
Is she miserable?

1091
01:49:36,175 --> 01:49:40,722
I'd really like to know, and she'd die
before she'd ever tell me about it.

1092
01:49:43,057 --> 01:49:46,311
She's, uh...

1093
01:49:46,394 --> 01:49:49,439
She's really happy.

1094
01:49:49,522 --> 01:49:53,067
She thinks she's in love.

1095
01:50:03,786 --> 01:50:07,081
Good for her.

1096
01:50:08,917 --> 01:50:10,835
How are you?

1097
01:50:18,801 --> 01:50:22,263
It's been a long time
since anybody asked me that.

1098
01:50:28,686 --> 01:50:31,397
I'm great.

1099
01:50:37,111 --> 01:50:40,114
I've gotta go to the bathroom.

1100
01:50:52,877 --> 01:50:55,213
I'm great.

1101
01:51:29,497 --> 01:51:32,584
Man, oh man.

1102
01:51:34,460 --> 01:51:37,297
Man, oh man, oh man.

1103
01:52:12,540 --> 01:52:15,001
<i>Oh, my God.</i>

1104
01:52:56,918 --> 01:52:59,045
Wow.

1105
01:53:00,630 --> 01:53:03,383
<i>I had always</i>
<i>heard your entire life flashes...</i>

1106
01:53:03,466 --> 01:53:07,345
<i>in front of your eyes</i>
<i>the second before you die.</i>

1107
01:53:07,428 --> 01:53:10,181
<i>First of all,</i>
<i>that one second...</i>

1108
01:53:10,265 --> 01:53:13,017
<i>isn't a second at all.</i>

1109
01:53:13,101 --> 01:53:15,186
<i>It stretches on forever,</i>

1110
01:53:15,270 --> 01:53:18,106
<i>like an ocean of time.</i>

1111
01:53:20,066 --> 01:53:23,069
<i>For me, it was</i>
<i>lying on my back...</i>

1112
01:53:23,152 --> 01:53:27,031
<i>at Boy Scout camp,</i>
<i>watching falling stars.</i>

1113
01:53:35,415 --> 01:53:38,668
<i>And yellow leaves</i>
<i>from the maple trees...</i>

1114
01:53:38,751 --> 01:53:41,170
<i>that lined our street.</i>

1115
01:53:49,971 --> 01:53:53,224
<i>Or my grandmother's hands</i>
<i>and the way her skin...</i>

1116
01:53:53,308 --> 01:53:55,643
<i>seemed like paper.</i>

1117
01:54:02,901 --> 01:54:06,654
<i>And the first time</i>
<i>I saw my cousin Tony's...</i>

1118
01:54:06,738 --> 01:54:09,699
<i>brand-new Firebird.</i>

1119
01:54:21,419 --> 01:54:23,504
<i>And Janie.</i>

1120
01:54:24,923 --> 01:54:26,841
<i>And Janie.</i>

1121
01:54:58,831 --> 01:55:01,209
<i>And... Carolyn.</i>

1122
01:55:06,214 --> 01:55:09,968
<i>I guess I could be pretty pissed off</i>
<i>about what happened to me,</i>

1123
01:55:10,051 --> 01:55:15,557
<i>but it's hard to stay mad when</i>
<i>there's so much beauty in the world.</i>

1124
01:55:15,640 --> 01:55:20,812
<i>Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing</i>
<i>it all at once and it's too much.</i>

1125
01:55:20,895 --> 01:55:25,984
<i>My heart fills up like a balloon</i>
<i>that's about to burst.</i>

1126
01:55:26,067 --> 01:55:30,154
<i>And then I remember</i>
<i>to relax...</i>

1127
01:55:30,238 --> 01:55:33,324
<i>and stop trying</i>
<i>to hold on to it.</i>

1128
01:55:33,408 --> 01:55:36,995
<i>And then it flows</i>
<i>through me like rain,</i>

1129
01:55:37,078 --> 01:55:40,748
<i>and I can't feel anything</i>
<i>but gratitude...</i>

1130
01:55:40,832 --> 01:55:43,001
<i>for every single moment...</i>

1131
01:55:43,084 --> 01:55:47,005
<i>of my stupid little life.</i>

1132
01:55:47,088 --> 01:55:50,508
<i>You have no idea what</i>
<i>I'm talking about, I'm sure.</i>

1133
01:55:50,592 --> 01:55:52,594
<i>But don't worry.</i>

1134
01:55:53,678 --> 01:55:56,014
<i>You will someday.</i>