Denizen Woes [vP19]

[18:42] <@Nathanial> [It is with little ceremony and even less warning that you jump through the window of Emmara's sitting room from the ground floor, landing lightly on the windowsill, your hands on the sides of the wall for balance. Your Breath powers are growing nicely, and it's at times like this that you can't resist showing off, but if you're honest with yourself, you don't have the patience to wait.]
[18:43] <@Nathanial> [You need human contact. You sent a message to both Emmara and Bash, asking for a visit, and from the way your limbs are shaking and your face is pale despite all attempts to hide it, it isn't an idle call.]
04[18:47] <Emmara> [Nath isn't the only one thats pale. You're are as well with bags under your eyes from lack of sleep. Coughing every so often into your elbow. The illness has only gotten worse, and you're thinking a revival into your dreamself is almost necessary at this point. You do try and give Nath a small smile when you see him though. "Nice entrance." You say in a ragged voice.]
[18:51] <Bash> [You wander down the stairs at this point. "Aw, I missed the entrance." You give Nate a big smile and wave. "What's so urgent, mister seer?"]
[18:52] <@Nathanial> [All thoughts of your Denizen flee your mind at the sight of Emmara, and your face turns just a little bit more pale. "Em, I..." you gape, and lower your eyes a little, slipping through the windowsill onto the floor. "I knew you were sick, but you look like death. What's... going on?"]
04[18:55] <Emmara> [You shrug helplessly. "If I knew, I'd tell you. Its nothing like what I've seen before." You cough again into the crook of you arm. "Nothing to be done about it now. Whats up?" You gesture at a chair and pick up some lukewarm tea. It helps a bit.]
[18:59] <Bash> [You grimace a bit when she coughs, but start walking to the kitchen to hide it. "I'm going to make some more tea for Em, is there anything you'd like, Nate? It sounds like we might be talking a while."]
[19:02] <@Nathanial> [Your face tenses - now that you're here, you're unwilling to get the conversation going. Crap. Your body shaking slightly from the strain, you lower yourself onto one of the nearby chairs. "Tea would be good, thank you... is there any peach? I need something sweet." and then you tense up more. Typheus will know you said that, and be relentless about it. You swallow, biting your lip, hard.]
04[19:06] <Emmara> ["There should be some." You pull your legs up on the couch and pull out a blanket from your sylladex. You feel cold even when you're burning up.]
[19:07] <Bash> [It takes you a minute, but you come back out with some hot tea. You pour it out for the three of you, and then sit down yourself. "You needed to talk?"]
[19:11] <@Nathanial> [If you had pointed ears, they'd be flat against your head right now. You take the glass, simply holding it between your hands, and breathing out slowly. "Y-You... heard that I did the Knell a few days ago, right? I know, I know I did it late," you forestall any words with an upraised hand, "But... I was right to. Typheus..." and you're shocked to find you're almost in tears already. What the hell.]
[19:11] <@Nathanial> ["I don't want to say, because Thypeus will know, and... he'll..."]
04[19:14] <Emmara> [You nod slowly. "We heard the Knell." Hard not to. "And theres no such thing as 'late'. You did it when you needed to." You take a sip and wait to see if he'll continue.]
[19:16] <Bash> [You simply make an inquisitive look. Best to see if he'll talk about it on his own first.]
[19:18] <@Nathanial> [It takes you several deep breaths and a lot of staring into the faintly pink liquid in your cup, but eventually, finally you murmur, shakily. "He knows all about my last session. Every single mistake I made. He keeps telling me my teammates are dead. He tells me exactly what happens to them, and I c-can't..." and your voice breaks, tears starting to stream down your cheeks.]
04[19:20] <Emmara> [You put down your tea and walk over to give him a hug. Making gentle soothing noises as best you can.]
[19:32] <Bash> [You get up too and add yourself to the newly formed huggrouppilething. ...Ops is no longer allowed to type that.]
[19:37] <@Nathanial> [You cling, tightly, to Emmara around her chest, burying your face in her shoulder. "He told me you'd die. He told me that Trashie will go insane, he said that Rayth has already lost his mind, he said that Keegan's sunk into the same bottles I did... he said..." you talk, barely realising what you're saying, your hands clinging to Bash's wrists as he comes closer, holding his arms around himself.]
04[19:40] <Emmara> [You wrap your arms around him, gently petting his hair as he lets it all spill. You're not going to tell him to stop, or that the Denizen is lying. He needs to get it all out before you start helping.]
[19:43] <Bash> [You hug them tight (but also keep trying to make sure you're not screwing up Em's airflow because coughing bad)]
[19:49] <@Nathanial> [You take a deep, shuddering breath, your voice hoarse, "But he's right, he's right, they're all... hhh..." and you gasp, before starting again in a new wave of sobs. "Trashie was only k-kept sane by us, the new players w-won't understand h-how broken he is, Keegan's the same as me, he'll miss me s-so much, and..." you raise your eyes, swallowing.]
[19:49] <@Nathanial> [Your voice is quiet, trembling, even fearful. "Rayth never even had a Nightmare Heir. We thought it was a glitch, but he just... the... only reason he didn't... kill us all is 'cos he liked us, he never had empathy, he didn't care about what we thought. He's... in a new session..."]
04[19:52] <Emmara> [You keep hugging him. Resting your head against his to give him more contact as you continue to rub the back of his head. "Sounds like you had a handful." You say quietly.]
[19:57] <@Nathanial> [You slowly nod, and lift yourself away from the hugs, but keep your hands firmly inside your co-player's fingers. An almighty sniff, and you wipe your eyes off with your sleeve. "I had two more players, Alex and Steven, but... all Typheus could do was tell me how they'd die, A-Alex without Keegan, they were together, l-like you two..."]
[19:57] <@Nathanial> [You are very firmly not looking at your co-players, but despite your shaky voice and wet face, you seem to have regained some control.]
[19:58] <Bash> [You quietly pull out a handkerchief and hand it to him. "Here."]
[20:00] <@Nathanial> [You accept the bit of fabric gratefully, and use it to dry your eyes and blow your nose, gathering it into a ball in your palm when you're done.]
04[20:03] <Emmara> [Your face is kind, and you gently squeeze Nath's hand. Theres so many hard truths that he needs to learn, but now isn't the time. You'll just focus on the one today. "I'm not going to say he's telling the truth. He might be, he might be lying and playing on your fears. I don't know." You turn your head and cough before continuing. "But I know why hes doing it."]
[20:05] <@Nathanial> [Another sniff. "Why?" you choke out quietly, then clear your throat.]
04[20:08] <Emmara> ["As horrible as it sounds. He's trying to free you from the past." You squeeze his fingers again. "Freedom isn't always about tangible physical constraints. Its about the ones that we make ourselves. Its a harsh lesson, but you can't survive in the Game if you're tethered to your past. I'm not saying to forgot them, or to discard your memories. But theres only so many battles that can be fought." You reach out and place a warm hand on his cheek. "Don't fight one that you can't win."]
[20:13] <Bash> [You do your best to look reassuring, mainly because you don't want to say anything that'll screw up the message Emmara's trying to get across. <What's a 'battle you can't win'?> <Alpha, you shut up.>]
[20:15] <@Nathanial> ["But I'll forget them..." your eyes lower, and you lean into the hand on your cheek. "I don't want n-new friends, I want my old ones back... I don't know what to do, I c-can't keep going foreward, I can't face my Heir, I can't f-face Typheus as I kill him..." and you add, very quietly, "I don't want to lose you either."]
04[20:18] <Emmara> ["You won't forget them. You never do. I promise." You gently rub your thumb along his skin. "I wish I could say that you could get them back, but I can't. The Game imitates Life in that regard. Sometimes people move, or they drop out of contact. Sometimes family dies. It hurts. It'll feel like you can't keep going forward, but you have to. Is stopping and lying down what they would have wanted from you?"]
[20:23] <@Nathanial> [You stop briefly and consider the question. "No... they would want me to continue. Well. Rayth wouldn't give half a fuck. But..." you swallow, and sniff again, wiping your nose off with the handkerchief. "Ok. I... hhh." and you rest your cheek on Emmara's shoulder again, blue eyes watery and staring.]
04[20:25] <Emmara> [You pull him close and give him a hug. "People are stronger than we can guess sometimes. Even if Typheus is telling the truth, it might have been years before they came to pass. Years to make friends, find lovers, experience life. Don't lose sight of the journey for the destination."]
[20:29] <@Nathanial> [You wipe your eyes off with the handkerchief, and nod slowly. "So what should I do about Typheus?" you ask, your voice trembling faintly. You do feel better, but you don't want to go back there. Not even a little.]
04[20:31] <Emmara> ["Face him. When you are ready." You rub his back. Poor kid. "Freedom in this case isn't about the lack of fear. Its about freeing yourself from its control."]
[20:32] <Bash> [You pat him on the head once. "Don't rush it, though."]
04[20:34] <Emmara> ["Fear keeps you cautious. But it must be balanced with courage and wisdom and patience. Don't expect yourself to get it right away. You're still growing. You'll get it in time."]
[20:35] <@Nathanial> [You give Bash an affectionate frown at the pat, and bat at him lightly with your hand. "Ok." you murmur, breathing out slowly. "I... I'll try. I don't have to do it right away?" you look up a little. "There's no time limit?"]
04[20:38] <Emmara> [You don't answer right away. "Yes and no. If you're trying and still learning, than the Game will not punish you for it. It won't set a hard limit on you. Growth can't be forced, and it'll change things to make sure the Reckoning doesn't happen until everyone is ready. But people can't be idle without it changing things in the opposite way." You give a small smile at him. "You're definitely not being idle. So don't worry about it."]
[20:40] <@Nathanial> [You nod again, and wipe your eyes for the final time, casting your eyes around to fine Emmara's tattoos. "I... had a thought a few days ago." you murmur, quietly, almost shyly.]
04[20:42] <Emmara> ["Oh?" You arch an eyebrow and glance at Bash.]
[20:45] <@Nathanial> [You catch the look, and turn faintly pink. "A-eh... I..." you clear your throat again. "I wanted to get tattoos. Of my friend's names. Like you've got on you. Except small, and not as noticable, but somewhere I'll see it just... every so often. Like here." you trace a line down your wrist with a finger. "...Maybe I'd get bigger ones, 'cos the ones on you look really good, but... not immediately."]
[20:45] <Bash> [Why is she glancing at you what did you do did you forget to do the dishes again or no wait that was the other day.]
04[20:48] <Emmara> [If you could read his mind you'd be rolling your eyes right now. As it is you smile at Nath. "That sounds like a good idea. I need to get some more work done on the Time tattoo I have, we could go together. Theres a place on Derse where I've had it done."]
[20:48] <Bash> [Oh. You smile a bit at Nate. "I think that's an interesting idea."]
[20:50] <@Nathanial> [You smile, and your face brightens. "Really? I'd like that a lot." and you straighten up, bouncing in your chair lightly. "How much does it hurt? And how much tim- oh." and your face twists into one of concern. "I'm a Prospit dreamer this time around. How do I get there?"]
04[20:53] <Emmara> ["We could go at the Masquerade if you wanted to be safe, or I can sneak you in. Up to you. And it hurts a bit, but nothing unbearable. The vines though we're a pain." You shake your leg. "Thankfully, I was Life so it wasn't so bad."]
[20:54] <@Nathanial> [You nod, and a second later you add, curiously, "And do tattoos on one's dream self carry over to one's waking self?"]
04[20:54] <Emmara> ["If you resurrect into it, yes. Otherwise no. Best to go as your realself." Safer too. "That'll transfer over."]
[20:56] <@Nathanial> [You frown slightly, but nod. "Ok." and you nudge your nose into Emmara's shoulder affectionately, before leaning back into Bash. "Thank you."]
04[20:58] <Emmara> ["Doors always open." Pause. "Or window too, I guess."]
[20:58] <@Nathanial> [You flush sheepishly. "Sorry." but don't even bother to hide the grin.]
[20:58] <Bash> ["Try not to come in through the ceiling, though." And then you jokingly make an aside to Nate: "She gets mad when I do that."]
[20:59] <@Nathanial> ["You did what." you lean back to stare at Bash, upside down. "Share!"]
04[20:59] <Emmara> ["You should see what he did a couple floors down." You stage whisper.]
[21:01] <Bash> [You back up, giggling a bit. "Hey, to be fair, there were only a few explosions." You think back and smile. Ah yes, explosions.]
[21:02] <@Nathanial> [You raise your eyebrow. "Only a few. I suppose I should be impressed." you poke your tongue out a little."]
04[21:03] <Emmara> ["He took out an entire wall." Pause for effect. "Three times."]
04[21:03] <Emmara> [Your voice gets even quieter as you lean closer in. "I think he was under the impression they were doors."]
[21:04] <Bash> ["A wall is just a door that doesn't know it's a door yet."]
04[21:05] <Emmara> ["Shush you."]
[21:05] <@Nathanial> [You chuckle. "Doors are for pussies, Em. The /true/ reason I've rolled a Seer of Breath!" you raise your hands majestically. "To see all the walls that have not yet become doors, and direct my co-players to rectify the problem!"]
[21:06] <Bash> [You make this face :D ]
04[21:07] <Emmara> [You waggle your finger. "Just don't do it around here. Otherwise no fresh veggies for either of you."]
[21:08] <@Nathanial> [You grin. "Even if we promise to fix it afterwards? Complete with swinging wooden part?"]
04[21:08] <Emmara> ["Nope!" You cough into your arm again. "Tomatoes are getting ripe now. So if you want some go get them on your way out."]
[21:10] <Bash> ["It's okay, Nate. I'll build us a whole playground to destroy. Smith of Space, yeah?"]
[21:11] <@Nathanial> [You peer up at Bash. "Actually that would be an amazing idea. I've wanted to try some of the new Breath stuff, but I like my Land intact."]
[21:12] <Bash> [You've got a big ol' smile on. "Lands regrow, but yeah, if you want I could set something up on my land? Heck, we could spar if you wanted."]
04[21:13] <Emmara> ["I'd join you, but..." You cough again, and that kind of proves your point. "Maybe when I'm better."]
[21:13] <@Nathanial> [You brighten more. "Hell yeah. I love sparring, it's just... tricky to ask for it." you make a slight face.]
04[21:14] <Emmara> [You could probably take them both anyways. But you're not going to bet on it.]
[21:14] <Bash> [You nod at Em. "when you're better, yeah."]
[21:15] <@Nathanial> [You turn your concerned gaze over to Em, and rest your cheek on her shoulder again briefly. "I want to help you get better." you murmur. "Is there a way to do that?"]
04[21:18] <Emmara> [You shake your head. "Nothing I'd bet on. Either time will get me better or a revival will. I'm hoping to do it God Tier which is why I'm putting it off as long as I can." You're very matter-of-fact about this. "Not anyones fault, and I've had to tier for less."]
[21:19] <@Nathanial> ["You can't kill yourself, though. The Exiles won't let you so... how're you going to ascend?" you bite your lip.]
04[21:20] <Emmara> ["Hopefully a future-self'll help out. Suicide is diabled, killing yourself isn't."]
[21:20] <@Nathanial> [You blink, surprised. "Really?"]
04[21:22] <Emmara> [You nod. "There was some nasty business back in my eleventh. Time player splinter went Speaker and came back to the Alpha. The Alpha Time player took care of it." You're going to leave out that it was the last thing he took care of. He doesn't need to hear that.]
02[21:24] * Rave ([email protected]) Quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
[21:24] <@Nathanial> [You nod, slowly and thoughtfully. "Ok, fair enough. For situations like that, I guess it's fair enough... my splinter selves were all sensible, 'cept for the ones that had to deal with Rayth flying off the handle." you add, and then clasp your jaw shut. Enough talking about stupid past teammates.]
04[21:26] <Emmara> [You nod. "If I go to the bed and theres a future self there, then I know it'll work. If not?" You shrug. "I keep going."]
04[21:27] <Emmara> ["This is assuming this doesn't just go away on itself." You're kind of doubting that at the moment though.]
[21:27] <@Nathanial> [Your brows furrow. "It couldn't be like... a game sickness, could it?"]
04[21:29] <Emmara> [You shake your head. "They're not like this. I'm guessing its something carried over from the pre-session that just took this long to get going. If you're sick, properly sick, its a safe bet its from the pre-session. Universal differences might mean people are especially vunerable."]
[21:30] <@Nathanial> [You nod slowly. "If it's from the presession... maybe there's some medicine around your house that might help?" you suggest, "But I suppose you may have already thought of that..."]
04[21:31] <Emmara> ["Yes and no. I don't know what it is, so I don't want to give something too strong. I don't normally /get/ sick. The Growth tends to look out for its own."]
[21:33] <@Nathanial> ["Mm." you nod, and after a moment, you cuddle into Em's side. You may not have the Growth to look after you, but you suspect that now you're in the session, you can't catch what she has.]
04[21:35] <Emmara> [You wrap an arm around him. "I'll get through it. Don't worry."]
[21:39] <Bash> [<She's good with kids, huh?> <Alpha, please, not now.>]
[21:40] <@Nathanial> [You nod, humming quietly, and close your eyes. "Ok. I trust you."]
04[21:44] <Emmara> [You gently rub his back and turn to Bash and mouth 'he's cute'.]
[21:45] <Bash> [You nod at her and smile.]
[21:47] <@Nathanial> ["You guys do remember I'm a Seer, right." Nate murmurs, his eyes still closed - he actually Saw no such thing, but felt the movement of Em's face through her chest. Heh.]
[21:47] <Bash> [You stick out your tongue. Seer that!]
[21:48] <@Nathanial> [You, predictably, give no response to such rudeness.]
04[21:49] <Emmara> ["Not our fault its true."]
[21:50] <@Nathanial> [You shrug, unable to hide another amused grin.]