Power move, next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it’s filled with yogurt, when they tell you that liquids aren’t allowed,
Drink it,

If you can’t handle me at my worst, just remember that i handle me at my worst and that makes me stronger than you,
Oh my goodness this makes me feel powerful i hadn’t even thought of it like this,

Holds your hand and swings it a little bit when we walk,
Swings my arm around at maximum velocity and flings you into the sun,
Jokes on you i’m not letting go you’re coming with me,

Somebody, so what do you like to do for fun,
Me, very used to being mocked for my interests, ha ha, i dunno, i don’t do anything, ever,

Ur a loser,
My college does themed backgrounds depending on the week and this is their anti-bullying week’s one o m f g,
Bad girl 675 strikes again,

If humans are supposed to be so evolved how come your eyelashes fall into your eyes to periodically blind you,
This dude still got eyes,

Wallac’s capsules,
Drop into water, they will turn into me, wallace,
A great way to great way to grow several of me in your home,
I understand if you don’t want to buy it,

A teenager, with political opinions, no, politics for adults, this not affect you, go sit at kids table,
5 mins later, this new generation of teenagers doesn’t care about anything besides parties and the internet,

There’s a fricking furry at the mall,
What the heck is an easter bunny,
Church sanctioned fursona,
Aslan,
My app crashed three times trying to reblog this, and i feel that was the universe trying to stop me from giving others whiplash,

So i almost hit a kid with my car, i was driving through a mall parking lot and i guess the nearby school had just let out,
Anyways, this kid darts in front of my car and i slam on my breaks, and he dabs, this fricking kids automatic response to getting hit by my car was to just fricking dab,
His last moments would have been a sick as dab,
It was an out of body experience,

All 3 generations of godzilla suit wearers walking down the street together,
That street must be huge,

When you drive your chevy to the levee but the levee is dry and you see the good old boys drinking whiskey and rye,
Guess this’ll be the day that i die,

Fun statistical fact, cows are about 300 times more likely to kill you than coyotes,
Minor sidenote to statistical fact, if it was common for people to keep several hundred coyotes on their property and routinely chase them into a corral and handle them, this statistic would be different,

If you are about to get stabbed just say, i have too much swagger for the dagger, and they will leave you alone,

In the movie shazam 2019, we can see that the movie bares a striking resemblance to the movie pet cemetery, 2019, this is a subtle nod to the fact that i entered the wrong theater,

To quote the icon that is john mulaney, i have had a long day, i am very small and i have no money so you can imagine the kind of stress i am under,

Eat coast blogger, today i murdered a rat with my own crystalized rage and hatred,
West coast blogger, this beach is so relaxing my body melted right into the sand,
Midwest blogger, o lords of corn, what sins have we committed for the weather to punish us so,

What should i draw,
Toads in professional outfits,
If i don’t have more flies on my desk by monday you can kiss your job goodbye,

Team i can’t do math, but i can write a 3 page english paper in less than an hour,
Team i can do math for hours but can’t write an english paper,
Team i can’t, i have rehearsal,
Team in theory i could do these things but instead i’m going to spend four hours on the internet for no reason,
Team edward,
What team,
Wildcats,

Me, i can take criticism,
Somebody, hmm well,
Me, already crying, yeah, what is it,

How can i communicate to wild bunnies that i am their ally,

Wouldn’t it be cool to just like not feel nervous about everything all the time,

Someone, hey I genuinely care about you and i like you a lot,
My brain, time for joke, make joke, yes,

Someone, hey how are you feelin,
Me, oh i’m not,

Hahaha i’m rereading harry potter one and harry was so upset over losing 2 points during his first week, the poor baby has no idea what’s coming/how little 2 points matter,
First year harry,
2 points from gryffindor,
I do not deserve to live,
Sixth year harry,
600 points from gryffindor,
600 fricks i don’t give,

Got a family of 4 in my house,
My husband died, just me n the kids,
We’re not calling him dad,
I am legitimately interested in this story,
Every other weekend, he has his kid from a previous marriage over,
We got a couple of dalmations,
God dang it cruella not this crap again,

My only moods are,
High empathy,
Anxious anxious anxious,
I am god,
Dissociate,
The pure embodiment of rage,

And this is my bedroom a k a my isolation station,

When you bring a gun to a sword fight,

Son i have a waifu you might think is pretty kawaii, and her name is responsibility, chan,

Wow you’re so good at conversation king, say haha again,

The impulse to just make weird noises for no reason is something i have to ignore liek 24/7,
Thought it was just me,
Microwave, mmmm,
Me and my friends, in perfect unison, loudly, mmmmm,

Shirts i wanted, t v error screen button up and muppet couture,

Wandering traders ward off pillagers,
Would you be scared if you went to your friends house and saw a man locked in a cage over their door,

I am average american man i work fifteen hours in hamburger mine to buy one rock and roll disk,
This is a k g b spy being questioned by the police in 1985,

Just passed by my college security guard watching naruto on his phone,
Fool that’s his training video,

Seductively commits tax fraud,
F-fraud chan,

You’re bursting my balls, italian proverb,

One does not simply end the 2010s without using memes from the beginning,
One dose not simply forget that this meme is from 2004,

My kink is unloved characters suddenly being loved unconditionally,
My kink right now is unloved characters suddenly realizing that they are love unconditionally,

The year is 2030,
Minecraft reachers astronomical levels of popularity, it is now mandatory to be installed on every computer, mojang issues a new world order, school uniforms are now steve’s blue shirt and pants, notch is publicly executed,

Me, on a sunday night, oh boy i sure am glad i don’t have any assignments due tomorrow,
The five page essay due monday that i procrastinated on so long i forgot about it,

Thinking about her,

Me and my dad eating at chili’s for the third time this week because mom is out of town,

Today i learned an american man built a log cabin in alaska and then just kept adding more and more floors until he reached 185 feet, at this point, he was forced to stop building as federal airspace starts at 200 feet, in the future, he still intendeds to squeeze in one more floor,
The goose creek tower,

You can pee next to me,
Imagine seeing someone wearing this shirt in real life,

What’s gender,
Ghost type pokemon, he’s purple and fat,

When your hair is wavy/curly sometimes there is a fine line between messy romantic waves and evil witch who lives in the woods,
When your hair is fine and straight there’s a fine line between sleek and elegant and weasel dipped in grease,
When you’re hair is thick there’s a fine line between gorgeous vibrant bounce and holy frick it’s hagrid,

Let’s see you little punks smash my letterbox now,

Today i learned in 1968, canada gave a $3,500 grant to a 35 year old man in vancouver to revive the ancient and time honored tradition of town fool,
Here’s money go nuts,

Therapy but there’s an audience that laughs at you,
Doctor phil,

Vibe with me bro,

Frogs will bond with other reptiles if they have the same skin color,
No more brother wars,

First day to school and first day to school as a teacher,
You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain,

They are ready to be picked,
Ripe,

The duolingo bird when i haven’t been active for two days,
Beg for your life in spanish,

I don’t know why these beaches complain so much, these motherfrickers is comfy and my balls is supa warm and crap,

Cats were replaced with tiny octopi on leashes, it was illegal to leave them unattended, i had to go to work but all the cars were gone and everyone had to use public transport, and all of the people were carrying tiny their octopi,

Would you like a nice glass of,
Juice that makes you stop procrastinating,
Yeah just leave it on the table for me i’ll get some in a minute,

Top ten reasons clickbait articles don’t work in print form, click here to read more,
I’m crying this is the funniest ad i’ve ever seen,

Night sluts,
They’re called vampires,

Cooking spinach,
This is the meme content i like to see,
Let me tell you something chefs love memes about how a kitchen works and this one caused my entire kitchen to riot and my head chef sent it to all the area chefs in the company,