Hope Gap (2019) EN

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<i>When I was a
child, we would go to this cove</i>

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00:01:03,292 --> 00:01:06,518
<i>under the cliffs
called Hope Gap.</i>

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<i>When the tide was out, these
little rock pools appeared.</i>

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<i>And in the pools were
tiny sea creatures.</i>

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<i>My mother would sit
on the rocks and wait</i>

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<i>for me while I explored.</i>

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I never asked myself
what she was thinking

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or if she was happy.

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You don't, do you?

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A lonely impulse of
delight is it Gary.

11
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How is that?

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Oh, it's you, Grace.

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It's a poem, WB Yeats.

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Always with the
poetry, eh, Grace.

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Nor law, nor duty bade
me fight, nor public men,

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nor cheering crowds, a
lonely impulse of delight

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drove to this tumult
in the clouds.

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Oh, bollocks.

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I balanced all,
brought all to mind.

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The years to come seemed
a waste of breath.

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A waste of breath, the
years behind in balance

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with this life, this death.

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Good day?

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Uh, much the usual.

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How was your day, Grace?

26
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Was?

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Oh, yeah.

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<i>I did our walk to Hope Gap.</i>

29
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I haven't done it for ages.

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Remember how Jamie used
to love going there?

31
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Yes, of course.

32
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Sometimes I miss him so much.

33
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Did you make me a cup of tea?

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I thought you had one?

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It's gone cold.

36
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Why is it you only ever
drink half your tea I wonder.

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I wonder that, too.

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Ah, I suppose it's because
I don't like things to end.

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You're a non-completer.

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Oh, am I?

41
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Are you a completer?

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Up to a point.

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Can one complete
anything up to a point?

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I don't think so.

45
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Well, I do wish
Jamie would come home.

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It's been months.

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He's got his own life.

48
00:04:06,959 --> 00:04:12,518
Well, of course, he has,
but why doesn't it include us?

49
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Are you Wiki-ing?

50
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Yes.

51
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<i>You never complete that.</i>

52
00:04:17,042 --> 00:04:20,417
<i>You can't complete Wikipedia.</i>

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<i>Napoleon marched 450,000
men across the Neman.</i>

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<i>Less than 20,000 came back.</i>

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<i>The surprisingly large number
of the officers kept diaries.</i>

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<i>Over 150 have survived.</i>

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Remarkable, really given the
conditions on the retreat.

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As the men dropped
in the intense cold,

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they were stripped of
clothing by their own comrades

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00:04:56,792 --> 00:05:01,875
and left naked in
the snow still alive.

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It was a kind of
survival strategy.

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In extremest, men can be cruel.

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Is that wrong?

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Do we blame them?

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Would any of us have
behaved any better?

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Robbie?

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I wouldn't have stripped them.

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You'd have left them to
die with their clothes on?

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Yes.

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Out of compassion or modesty?

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It's really hard getting
people's clothes off.

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So it is.

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Well, it's been a while,
and I was thinking.

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Oh, thank you, Jamie.

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Are you sure you can manage?

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I'll tell Grace.

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She'll be so pleased.

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Some time after
lunch on Saturday.

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When men were wounded
or frostbitten

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and men could no longer walk,
orders were given to carry

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them on the baggage wagons.

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This slowed the wagons
down, of course,

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and reduced the chances
that the baggage train

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would make it to Smolensk.

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So the wagon drivers looked out
for especially rotted ground

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and then drove fast over
it so that the wounded

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00:06:18,583 --> 00:06:23,518
would be jolted off the wagons
without anyone noticing.

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Once left behind on the
road, they froze to death.

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This was understood
to be an accident.

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Nobody looked back.

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Nobody looked back.

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I have been here before.

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What's that?

94
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My anthology, that's
what I should call it.

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The idea is whatever
you're going through,

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someone's been through it
before you, put it into words.

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It's the first line
of a poem by Rossetti.

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What is?

99
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I have been here before.

100
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Jamie's coming for the weekend.

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Jamie's coming?

102
00:07:08,417 --> 00:07:11,893
Some time after
lunch on Saturday.

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How do you know?

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We spoke on the phone.

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He rang you?

106
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Why?

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To say he was coming.

108
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Why did he ring you?

109
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I don't know.

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He does sometimes.

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Does he?

112
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When was the last
time Jamie came home?

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April was it?

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He's got his own life to live.

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Hi, it's Kelly.

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I can't come to
the phone right now

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but please leave me
a message and I'll

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call you back as soon as I can.

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Hi, Kelly.

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It's Jamie.

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I'm away over the weekend.

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I'll be back by 6:00 on Sunday.

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If you're around, it'd
be great to see you.

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OK, bye.

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Hello, stranger.

126
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Hello, Mom.

127
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Hello, stranger.

128
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Hello, Mom.

129
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Jamie.

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Dad.

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Jamie, Jamie.

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Thanks for coming.

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How was your journey?

134
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Not bad.

135
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I got the 3:46.

136
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Running late.

137
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Only just made the
connection at Lewis.

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Can't trust the
trains these days.

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<i>I'll just... I'll
drop my stuff off.</i>

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Do you think he's happy?

141
00:09:39,458 --> 00:09:42,518
I think he's happy
in that flat of his.

142
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Do you?

143
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All on his own?

144
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,059
Well, there's that, of course.

145
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But he has it the
way he wants it.

146
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No washing up to speak of.

147
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You use a plate, wash it, and
there it is ready to use again.

148
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You do not run out of
milk because you're

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the only one drinking
it, so you know how much

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there is left in the fridge.

151
00:10:00,584 --> 00:10:03,809
Just little things, I
know, but they have value.

152
00:10:03,833 --> 00:10:06,893
Well, you sound
as if you envy him.

153
00:10:06,917 --> 00:10:07,394
No.

154
00:10:07,418 --> 00:10:11,226
Well, I don't think it's good
for anyone, hiding in a hole,

155
00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:14,059
having everything
always be the same.

156
00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:16,559
Jamie, are you going to be long?

157
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,726
Not long.

158
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:21,726
Let's have candles to
celebrate Jamie coming home.

159
00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:22,934
Yes, why not.

160
00:10:22,958 --> 00:10:28,101
<i>Next week, we'll have
been married 29 years.</i>

161
00:10:28,125 --> 00:10:30,667
Yes, I suppose we will.

162
00:10:32,333 --> 00:10:35,143
Do you have something in mind?

163
00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:36,684
What do you mean?

164
00:10:36,708 --> 00:10:39,309
Well, where we
go out for dinner.

165
00:10:39,333 --> 00:10:43,643
If that's what you'd want.

166
00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:45,500
No, it isn't.

167
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It isn't?

168
00:10:46,625 --> 00:10:47,042
No.

169
00:10:47,083 --> 00:10:48,309
All right,
then we won't go out.

170
00:10:48,333 --> 00:10:49,809
Oh, for God's sake, Edward.

171
00:10:49,833 --> 00:10:50,810
Did I say something wrong?

172
00:10:50,834 --> 00:10:53,393
<i>Well, I say will we go out
for dinner on our anniversary</i>

173
00:10:53,417 --> 00:10:57,476
<i>and you say if that's what you
want and I say it isn't and you</i>

174
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:58,394
<i>say then we won't.</i>

175
00:10:58,418 --> 00:11:01,559
<i>But I do want to go out for
dinner on our anniversary.</i>

176
00:11:01,583 --> 00:11:02,768
Why do you think I suggested it?

177
00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:03,644
Then why say you don't?

178
00:11:03,668 --> 00:11:06,268
Because I don't want to do
it because I want to do it.

179
00:11:06,292 --> 00:11:09,393
I want to do it because
you want to do it.

180
00:11:09,417 --> 00:11:10,851
So do you want to do it?

181
00:11:10,875 --> 00:11:11,519
Yes.

182
00:11:11,543 --> 00:11:13,143
So will you book somewhere?

183
00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:13,852
Yeah.

184
00:11:13,876 --> 00:11:16,809
Not that awful
place you chose last year.

185
00:11:16,833 --> 00:11:19,684
Maybe you should make booking.

186
00:11:19,708 --> 00:11:23,250
Do I have to do everything?

187
00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:28,018
Will you be coming to mass
in the morning, Jamie?

188
00:11:28,042 --> 00:11:31,601
Mom, you know I
don't do that anymore.

189
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:32,684
Why not?

190
00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:34,351
Have you stopped
believing in God?

191
00:11:34,375 --> 00:11:35,851
More or less.

192
00:11:35,875 --> 00:11:36,394
Why?

193
00:11:36,418 --> 00:11:39,434
Is it because of all the
suffering in the world?

194
00:11:39,458 --> 00:11:40,851
That's a part of it, yes.

195
00:11:40,875 --> 00:11:43,476
But don't you
see, that's exactly

196
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:45,059
why there has to be a God.

197
00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:47,559
If this world was all there
is, how could we bear it?

198
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:50,476
Edward, explain why God
allows the suffering.

199
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:55,434
<i>It's, um... it's about
free will, isn't it.</i>

200
00:11:55,458 --> 00:11:56,476
Jamie knows all this.

201
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:57,476
No, no, go on.

202
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,018
Explain.

203
00:11:58,042 --> 00:11:58,977
I do know the arguments.

204
00:11:59,001 --> 00:12:00,476
No, but if you understood
properly, you'd believe.

205
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,643
Look, as far as I
can see, the world's

206
00:12:02,667 --> 00:12:06,434
a frightening place where
things happen that aren't fair,

207
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:09,268
and there isn't really
any meaning to any of it.

208
00:12:09,292 --> 00:12:12,018
And in the end, we
all get wiped out.

209
00:12:12,042 --> 00:12:13,434
We can't bear that,
so we invent God

210
00:12:13,458 --> 00:12:17,476
and heaven to reassure ourselves
it'll all work out in the end.

211
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:19,309
I don't think that's
a bad thing to do.

212
00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:22,393
I just happen to
think it's not true.

213
00:12:22,417 --> 00:12:24,518
You're wrong.

214
00:12:24,542 --> 00:12:25,519
Tell him, Edward.

215
00:12:25,543 --> 00:12:26,893
Tell him what?

216
00:12:26,917 --> 00:12:27,852
That God exists.

217
00:12:27,876 --> 00:12:31,518
You can't tell
people a thing like.

218
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:33,226
God's not information.

219
00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:36,851
God's a conviction.

220
00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:38,518
It's like love.

221
00:12:38,542 --> 00:12:39,893
You don't tell love.

222
00:12:39,917 --> 00:12:40,976
You feel love.

223
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,434
That's right.

224
00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:45,643
That's just how it is.

225
00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:46,227
Coffee?

226
00:12:46,251 --> 00:12:48,476
Yes, I'd like that.

227
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:51,750
I can't bear to think
you're unhappy, Jamie.

228
00:12:51,792 --> 00:12:53,393
I'm not unhappy.

229
00:12:53,417 --> 00:12:54,019
I'm fine.

230
00:12:54,043 --> 00:12:55,684
No, all on your own?

231
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,434
I'm fine, Mom.

232
00:12:57,458 --> 00:12:58,060
All right.

233
00:12:58,084 --> 00:12:59,768
Fine isn't the same as happy.

234
00:12:59,792 --> 00:13:01,268
Well, who's happy?

235
00:13:01,292 --> 00:13:02,060
Fine's fine.

236
00:13:02,084 --> 00:13:05,434
No, we're happy,
aren't we, Edward?

237
00:13:05,458 --> 00:13:07,476
Yes, we're fine.

238
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:09,643
I hope you don't mind, but I'm

239
00:13:09,667 --> 00:13:10,768
under big pressure at work.

240
00:13:10,792 --> 00:13:12,476
I thought I'd give
it a couple of hours

241
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:13,768
before I call it a night.

242
00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:16,333
Whatever you want, darling.

243
00:13:49,333 --> 00:13:51,684
I don't think I'll make
mass tomorrow morning.

244
00:13:51,708 --> 00:13:54,101
I've got all the
coursework papers to mark.

245
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:58,101
I'd rather get it
done while I'm fresh.

246
00:13:58,125 --> 00:14:01,101
We are happy, aren't we?

247
00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:03,518
Why Wouldn't We be?

248
00:14:03,542 --> 00:14:08,684
Sometimes I think
we don't really talk.

249
00:14:08,708 --> 00:14:09,851
What do you mean talk?

250
00:14:09,875 --> 00:14:13,625
You know, talk
the way people do.

251
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:19,851
It's like magic, isn't it?

252
00:14:19,875 --> 00:14:22,518
You see, we don't talk.

253
00:14:22,542 --> 00:14:25,018
What?

254
00:14:25,042 --> 00:14:27,143
I say things.

255
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:28,184
WhY don't you say things?

256
00:14:28,208 --> 00:14:30,268
What do you want me to say?

257
00:14:30,292 --> 00:14:31,060
Anything.

258
00:14:31,084 --> 00:14:32,143
Whatever comes into your head.

259
00:14:32,167 --> 00:14:36,101
<i>Well, I've become fascinated
by the eyewitness accounts</i>

260
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,060
<i>of the retreat from Moscow.</i>

261
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:39,309
Ugh, that's not talking.

262
00:14:39,333 --> 00:14:40,726
That's Wiki-ing.

263
00:14:40,750 --> 00:14:43,042
I mean talk, you and me.

264
00:14:47,458 --> 00:14:49,625
Is this what you want?

265
00:14:51,792 --> 00:14:52,727
No.

266
00:14:52,751 --> 00:14:55,851
If this isn't what
you want, then what is?

267
00:14:55,875 --> 00:14:57,559
I know I annoy you sometimes.

268
00:14:57,583 --> 00:14:59,393
No, that's about how I feel.

269
00:14:59,417 --> 00:15:00,851
I want to know how you feel.

270
00:15:00,875 --> 00:15:02,934
Feel about what?

271
00:15:02,958 --> 00:15:06,726
What would make you happier?

272
00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:08,726
I suppose if you were happy.

273
00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:11,000
No, no, talk about you.

274
00:15:12,708 --> 00:15:14,268
<i>I don't want anything special.</i>

275
00:15:14,292 --> 00:15:16,184
But you do want something?

276
00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:20,184
There's something two people
can have that we haven't

277
00:15:20,208 --> 00:15:22,893
got that you wish we had.

278
00:15:22,917 --> 00:15:23,519
Yes.

279
00:15:23,543 --> 00:15:24,684
What is it?

280
00:15:24,708 --> 00:15:25,893
I don't know how to explain.

281
00:15:25,917 --> 00:15:31,518
<i>Well... think of a
word, any word, the first</i>

282
00:15:31,542 --> 00:15:33,226
word comes to your head.

283
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:34,143
Sunny.

284
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:34,685
Sunny?

285
00:15:34,709 --> 00:15:36,059
<i>It's only one word.
There's others.</i>

286
00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:37,309
All right give me
some other words.

287
00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:38,684
<i>- I don't want to do this.
- Why not?</i>

288
00:15:38,708 --> 00:15:39,644
I'll only make it worse.

289
00:15:39,668 --> 00:15:40,893
How will it make things worse?

290
00:15:40,917 --> 00:15:42,184
Because whatever
I say will be wrong.

291
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:43,893
Well, it can't be
wrong if it's true.

292
00:15:43,917 --> 00:15:44,602
Or not enough.

293
00:15:44,626 --> 00:15:45,768
What do you mean not enough?

294
00:15:45,792 --> 00:15:49,309
I think you want
something I haven't got.

295
00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:51,101
What?

296
00:15:51,125 --> 00:15:55,518
I always somehow feel
that I'm in the wrong.

297
00:15:55,542 --> 00:15:57,351
I don't care about
who's right or wrong.

298
00:15:57,375 --> 00:15:58,809
<i>I just want you to be there.
Here.</i>

299
00:15:58,833 --> 00:15:59,559
I am... I am here.

300
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:00,268
No, you're not.

301
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:00,934
I am here.

302
00:16:00,958 --> 00:16:01,644
No, you're not.

303
00:16:01,668 --> 00:16:03,934
It's like somehow you've sneaked
away when I wasn't looking.

304
00:16:03,958 --> 00:16:06,601
I don't know how else to put it.

305
00:16:06,625 --> 00:16:07,435
What are you doing?

306
00:16:07,459 --> 00:16:10,809
I'm putting out
the breakfast things.

307
00:16:10,833 --> 00:16:12,708
Put that down.

308
00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:16,625
Look at me.

309
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:22,268
You say you don't tell love.

310
00:16:22,292 --> 00:16:22,935
You feel love.

311
00:16:22,959 --> 00:16:25,393
But how am I to know
if you never say it.

312
00:16:25,417 --> 00:16:26,934
It's just assumed.

313
00:16:26,958 --> 00:16:27,935
It's just there.

314
00:16:27,959 --> 00:16:32,726
Even so, just to
help me, please say it.

315
00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:33,851
I can't now.

316
00:16:33,875 --> 00:16:35,143
It wouldn't mean anything.

317
00:16:35,167 --> 00:16:35,769
Why not?

318
00:16:35,793 --> 00:16:38,143
I'd only be saying it
because you asked me to say it.

319
00:16:38,167 --> 00:16:38,852
I don't mind.

320
00:16:38,876 --> 00:16:40,059
This is childish, Grace.

321
00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:40,601
Say it!

322
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:41,477
Why are you doing this?

323
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:42,893
Why are you making
everything into a problem?

324
00:16:42,917 --> 00:16:44,101
This isn't anything
to do with me.

325
00:16:44,125 --> 00:16:45,125
This is your problem.

326
00:16:45,709 --> 00:16:48,101
Don't ever say that to me again.

327
00:16:48,125 --> 00:16:48,935
You're part of this.

328
00:16:48,959 --> 00:16:52,000
You're involved whether
you like it or not.

329
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,809
Do something.

330
00:16:59,833 --> 00:17:02,042
Say something.

331
00:17:02,083 --> 00:17:03,851
If you hate me, say you hate me.

332
00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:05,018
Say you want to leave me.

333
00:17:05,042 --> 00:17:06,226
Say you want to kill me.

334
00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:08,393
Tell me something real.

335
00:17:08,417 --> 00:17:10,434
I'm tired.

336
00:17:10,458 --> 00:17:12,226
I want to go to bed.

337
00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:14,792
We'll talk about
it in the morning.

338
00:17:57,708 --> 00:17:59,309
What happened?

339
00:17:59,333 --> 00:18:01,726
I did it.

340
00:18:01,750 --> 00:18:05,226
Were you going for him again?

341
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,227
He should fight back.

342
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,893
Is that what you want,
a fight?

343
00:18:07,917 --> 00:18:09,934
I want a reaction.

344
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:11,851
I want a real marriage.

345
00:18:11,875 --> 00:18:14,184
What is he so afraid of?

346
00:18:14,208 --> 00:18:16,018
Why does he walk away from me?

347
00:18:16,042 --> 00:18:16,935
Because you go for him.

348
00:18:16,959 --> 00:18:20,351
Oh, I don't go for him.

349
00:18:20,375 --> 00:18:22,476
But I did hit him just now.

350
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,601
Oh, Mom.

351
00:18:23,625 --> 00:18:25,184
What else am I to do?

352
00:18:25,208 --> 00:18:26,434
How else am I to
get through to him?

353
00:18:26,458 --> 00:18:29,893
I feel like if I can only
give him a big enough shock,

354
00:18:29,917 --> 00:18:30,810
he'll wake up.

355
00:18:30,834 --> 00:18:33,601
Well, hitting him won't help.

356
00:18:33,625 --> 00:18:35,309
What do you think I should do?

357
00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:38,434
I think you should
be nicer to him.

358
00:18:38,458 --> 00:18:39,458
Nicer?

359
00:18:42,125 --> 00:18:42,935
You sound like Edward.

360
00:18:42,959 --> 00:18:45,351
I think you should
stop going for him.

361
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:46,684
You said that already.

362
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:48,059
You don't listen, do you?

363
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:50,893
<i>Yes, well, we've all
seen what a great success</i>

364
00:18:50,917 --> 00:18:53,083
<i>you've made of your love life.</i>

365
00:18:55,958 --> 00:18:57,393
Oh, I'm sorry, darling.

366
00:18:57,417 --> 00:18:59,018
I'm sorry.

367
00:18:59,042 --> 00:19:00,143
I didn't mean it.

368
00:19:00,167 --> 00:19:03,559
Actually you didn't know
anything about my love life.

369
00:19:03,583 --> 00:19:04,477
Don't I?

370
00:19:04,501 --> 00:19:06,917
Have you got a secret
wife somewhere?

371
00:19:06,958 --> 00:19:07,644
Secret children?

372
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,851
You don't have to have a
family to have a love life.

373
00:19:09,875 --> 00:19:13,143
You must admit there's
something odd about you living

374
00:19:13,167 --> 00:19:15,309
alone in that flat at your age.

375
00:19:15,333 --> 00:19:17,893
Lots of people live alone.

376
00:19:17,917 --> 00:19:20,601
Edward envies you, you know.

377
00:19:20,625 --> 00:19:21,102
Oh?

378
00:19:21,126 --> 00:19:22,309
Yes, he'd love to
live in your flat

379
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:26,125
and do the same thing at
the same time Every day.

380
00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:31,684
It's what I rescued him from.

381
00:19:31,708 --> 00:19:33,476
Don't try rescuing me.

382
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:35,226
I do worry about you.

383
00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:37,601
I worry about you.

384
00:19:37,625 --> 00:19:38,144
Why?

385
00:19:38,168 --> 00:19:39,684
Because Edward and I
have these little rows.

386
00:19:39,708 --> 00:19:42,809
I'm just trying to keep
well out of the line of fire.

387
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:44,143
You know I love him,
don't you.

388
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:47,184
Doesn't mean anything if we
quarrel from time to time.

389
00:19:47,208 --> 00:19:50,018
Oh, throw the
breakfast things around?

390
00:19:50,042 --> 00:19:53,143
Well, I tipped the table up.

391
00:19:53,167 --> 00:19:54,476
Had to do something.

392
00:19:55,126 --> 00:19:56,601
I thought maybe you'd
thrown them at him?

393
00:19:56,625 --> 00:19:59,768
No, wouldn't do
that, not cutlery.

394
00:20:00,418 --> 00:20:02,184
I'm relieved to hear it.

395
00:20:02,208 --> 00:20:05,268
I would have cleared it
up if you hadn't done it.

396
00:20:05,292 --> 00:20:08,018
Well, it's was done now.

397
00:20:08,042 --> 00:20:10,726
Thank you, darling.

398
00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:11,352
Thank you.

399
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,976
I'll see you in
the morning then.

400
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,351
I think I may go to early mass.

401
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:18,768
You want me to wake you?

402
00:20:18,792 --> 00:20:19,352
No.

403
00:20:19,376 --> 00:20:20,559
No, let me sleep.

404
00:20:20,583 --> 00:20:23,018
All right then, darling.

405
00:20:23,042 --> 00:20:26,125
Good night.

406
00:21:12,208 --> 00:21:17,434
<i>Glory to God in the
highest and on earth, peace</i>

407
00:21:17,458 --> 00:21:19,768
<i>is a peaceful of good will.</i>

408
00:21:19,792 --> 00:21:26,851
<i>We praise you, we bless you,
we adore you, we glorify you.</i>

409
00:21:26,875 --> 00:21:30,476
<i>We give you thanks
for your great glory.</i>

410
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:34,768
<i>Lord God, heavenly
King, oh God almighty</i>

411
00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:37,976
<i>father, Lord Jesus Christ...</i>

412
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,851
<i>Only God himself, Lord God...</i>

413
00:21:40,875 --> 00:21:45,018
<i>Lamb of God, son
of Father, you take</i>

414
00:21:45,042 --> 00:21:47,268
<i>away the sins of the world.</i>

415
00:21:47,292 --> 00:21:50,601
<i>Have mercy on us.</i>

416
00:21:50,625 --> 00:21:52,958
<i>Have mercy on us.</i>

417
00:22:00,625 --> 00:22:04,018
When do you have to go?

418
00:22:04,042 --> 00:22:05,934
After lunch?

419
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:09,726
Right away after lunch.

420
00:22:09,750 --> 00:22:12,018
Three-ish.

421
00:22:12,042 --> 00:22:16,268
I don't suppose you could
stay on a little longer?

422
00:22:16,292 --> 00:22:18,268
I'd rather not really.

423
00:22:18,292 --> 00:22:19,309
Why?

424
00:22:19,333 --> 00:22:23,309
It's just that things
are coming to a head.

425
00:22:23,333 --> 00:22:26,309
I thought it might be better
for Grace if you were here.

426
00:22:26,333 --> 00:22:28,601
What do you mean
coming to a head.

427
00:22:28,625 --> 00:22:32,726
Well, I suppose
you heard last night.

428
00:22:32,750 --> 00:22:35,393
She's not that
all the time is she?

429
00:22:35,417 --> 00:22:37,934
No.

430
00:22:37,958 --> 00:22:40,917
Better that I'm here for what?

431
00:22:43,542 --> 00:22:45,625
I'm going to leave.

432
00:22:50,667 --> 00:22:51,268
I'm sorry.

433
00:22:51,292 --> 00:22:52,227
I can't make Grace happy.

434
00:22:52,251 --> 00:22:55,250
I've tried, but I'm
the wrong person.

435
00:22:56,625 --> 00:23:03,684
Also, ridiculous as it may
sound, I've fallen in love.

436
00:23:03,708 --> 00:23:04,227
What?

437
00:23:04,251 --> 00:23:06,976
It's not what I expected either.

438
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,976
Jesus, Dad,
how did this happen?

439
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:13,101
Her name's Angela.

440
00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:17,208
She's the mother
of a boy at school.

441
00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:20,726
He's been having problems,
and I've been helping him.

442
00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:22,309
Oh, God.

443
00:23:22,333 --> 00:23:24,851
Sorry, I didn't
mean it like that.

444
00:23:24,875 --> 00:23:26,851
Only what about Mom?

445
00:23:26,875 --> 00:23:30,101
She'll be better off without me.

446
00:23:30,125 --> 00:23:32,726
I don't give her what she wants.

447
00:23:32,750 --> 00:23:36,393
I didn't realize until
I got to know Angela.

448
00:23:36,417 --> 00:23:39,143
With Angela, it's easy.

449
00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:41,476
The way I am seems to suit her.

450
00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:47,309
With Grace, everything
I do is wrong.

451
00:23:47,333 --> 00:23:51,809
I'm nervous and clumsy.

452
00:23:51,833 --> 00:23:53,583
I annoy her.

453
00:23:55,292 --> 00:23:57,101
Does she know anything?

454
00:23:57,125 --> 00:23:59,708
Not about Angela, no.

455
00:24:02,917 --> 00:24:05,309
So it'll come out of nowhere.

456
00:24:05,333 --> 00:24:08,167
Well, hardly nowhere.

457
00:24:10,042 --> 00:24:11,476
It's been getting
worse and worse.

458
00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:14,351
Several times, she's
talked about separation.

459
00:24:14,375 --> 00:24:15,352
She doesn't mean it.

460
00:24:15,376 --> 00:24:16,434
Then why does she say it.

461
00:24:16,458 --> 00:24:19,643
She feels there's something
not real about her marriage.

462
00:24:19,667 --> 00:24:20,684
Well, you she could be right.

463
00:24:20,708 --> 00:24:23,583
But I don't think
she wants to be right.

464
00:24:30,667 --> 00:24:35,708
That's why I was hoping you
could stay on a bit longer.

465
00:24:46,750 --> 00:24:50,851
Why didn't you change your mind?

466
00:24:50,875 --> 00:24:51,519
I'm sorry.

467
00:24:51,543 --> 00:24:53,101
It's all gone too far.

468
00:24:53,125 --> 00:24:54,851
Oh, God.

469
00:24:54,875 --> 00:24:58,143
She'll still have you.

470
00:24:58,167 --> 00:25:00,018
Sorry.

471
00:25:00,042 --> 00:25:04,018
I don't know that I can do this.

472
00:25:04,042 --> 00:25:08,768
Well, I have to tell her soon.

473
00:25:08,792 --> 00:25:11,684
What will you do, move out?

474
00:25:11,708 --> 00:25:12,518
Yes.

475
00:25:12,542 --> 00:25:13,477
When?

476
00:25:13,501 --> 00:25:17,643
Well, the plan
was soon, very soon.

477
00:25:17,667 --> 00:25:19,476
Well, you don't mean today.

478
00:25:19,500 --> 00:25:23,101
Angela felt why drag it out.

479
00:25:23,125 --> 00:25:24,393
No, you can't.

480
00:25:24,417 --> 00:25:27,309
You have to break it
to her more gently.

481
00:25:27,333 --> 00:25:29,500
How do I do that?

482
00:25:31,250 --> 00:25:34,143
She'll be back from church
soon and I'm going to tell her

483
00:25:34,167 --> 00:25:38,559
and then I'm going to leave.

484
00:25:38,583 --> 00:25:43,018
You can be with her for a while
and still be away by 4:00.

485
00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:47,976
I know the trains can
be very slow on Sunday.

486
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,250
This is why you
asked me to come down.

487
00:25:56,625 --> 00:25:58,809
Have you packed a bag?

488
00:25:58,833 --> 00:26:00,601
Just the basics.

489
00:26:00,625 --> 00:26:03,167
So it's already happened.

490
00:26:12,333 --> 00:26:13,185
How long will it take?

491
00:26:13,209 --> 00:26:16,934
I don't want to be
here when you do it.

492
00:26:16,958 --> 00:26:21,184
Give me half an hour.

493
00:26:21,208 --> 00:26:23,518
Half an hour then.

494
00:26:23,542 --> 00:26:24,917
Right.

495
00:27:11,042 --> 00:27:13,559
Ha, Jamie not up?

496
00:27:13,583 --> 00:27:16,018
He's gone out for a walk.

497
00:27:16,042 --> 00:27:17,851
A walk by himself.

498
00:27:17,875 --> 00:27:21,559
He never goes for
a walk by himself.

499
00:27:21,583 --> 00:27:23,559
A cup of tea?

500
00:27:23,583 --> 00:27:24,394
Toast?

501
00:27:24,418 --> 00:27:25,750
Please.

502
00:27:27,542 --> 00:27:32,518
You know how we say in the
mass, Lord have mercy on us.

503
00:27:32,542 --> 00:27:33,643
I found myself counting.

504
00:27:33,667 --> 00:27:36,559
<i>We asked for mercy 17 times.</i>

505
00:27:36,583 --> 00:27:41,393
Nine times in the curia alone,
of course, three times in agnus

506
00:27:41,417 --> 00:27:44,934
dei, and it kept popping
up everywhere else.

507
00:27:44,958 --> 00:27:48,643
I think it may have a
sort of hypnotic effect,

508
00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:49,602
all that asking for mercy.

509
00:27:49,626 --> 00:27:53,542
After a while, it begins to
strike you maybe you need it.

510
00:28:00,917 --> 00:28:03,309
I know I go for you sometimes.

511
00:28:03,333 --> 00:28:06,018
I'll try to stop.

512
00:28:06,042 --> 00:28:08,559
Really all I want
is reassurance.

513
00:28:08,583 --> 00:28:11,184
All right.

514
00:28:11,208 --> 00:28:12,809
Hmm?

515
00:28:12,833 --> 00:28:17,042
Just to know that we're going
through this thing together.

516
00:28:30,583 --> 00:28:34,542
It's not really working is it?

517
00:28:36,750 --> 00:28:38,976
What did you say?

518
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,851
It's not really working.

519
00:28:40,875 --> 00:28:42,809
Thank God.

520
00:28:42,833 --> 00:28:44,434
You do see it.

521
00:28:44,458 --> 00:28:46,518
What's happened to us?

522
00:28:46,542 --> 00:28:50,458
I think what you said is true.

523
00:28:50,500 --> 00:28:51,684
I've been walking away.

524
00:28:51,708 --> 00:28:53,851
I've been avoiding things.

525
00:28:53,875 --> 00:28:55,393
Thank God.

526
00:28:55,417 --> 00:28:56,601
You're saying it at last.

527
00:28:56,625 --> 00:29:01,351
I suppose I felt I can't
give you what you want,

528
00:29:01,375 --> 00:29:06,143
so I felt like I'm not
very useful person really,

529
00:29:06,167 --> 00:29:06,935
for you at least.

530
00:29:06,959 --> 00:29:10,559
I seem to annoy you
and do things wrong.

531
00:29:10,583 --> 00:29:14,143
That makes me feel, well,
not much good really.

532
00:29:14,167 --> 00:29:18,143
So I try not to talk about
it, which only makes it worse.

533
00:29:18,167 --> 00:29:19,851
Thank God.

534
00:29:19,875 --> 00:29:21,768
You understand.

535
00:29:21,792 --> 00:29:23,958
I've been praying for this.

536
00:29:25,042 --> 00:29:29,101
I think the truth we're
different kinds of people.

537
00:29:29,125 --> 00:29:32,000
It may just be that we don't
work very well together.

538
00:29:32,042 --> 00:29:32,685
But we can.

539
00:29:32,709 --> 00:29:35,934
If we understand each other
and are real with each other

540
00:29:35,958 --> 00:29:36,644
and if you...

541
00:29:36,668 --> 00:29:39,643
If we have the will to
make it work, it'll work.

542
00:29:39,667 --> 00:29:40,310
I know it.

543
00:29:40,334 --> 00:29:42,309
I'm not sure I have that will.

544
00:29:42,333 --> 00:29:43,310
Well, you have to.

545
00:29:43,334 --> 00:29:48,934
Marriages only work because
both people want them to work.

546
00:29:48,958 --> 00:29:50,393
I'm not sure I want that.

547
00:29:50,417 --> 00:29:53,351
You're not sure you
want our marriage to work?

548
00:29:53,375 --> 00:29:54,976
Edward, listen to me.

549
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,268
This is terribly important.

550
00:29:56,292 --> 00:29:59,518
You must will or
marriage, or it'll die.

551
00:29:59,542 --> 00:30:00,643
There's no in between.

552
00:30:00,667 --> 00:30:03,476
It's either alive, or it's dead.

553
00:30:03,500 --> 00:30:05,851
What if it's dead?

554
00:30:05,875 --> 00:30:07,643
Then we go our separate ways.

555
00:30:07,667 --> 00:30:10,059
No one can live in
a dead marriage.

556
00:30:10,083 --> 00:30:15,101
Maybe that's what we should
do, go our separate ways.

557
00:30:15,125 --> 00:30:17,143
But it isn't dead.

558
00:30:17,167 --> 00:30:20,184
Do you think it's dead?

559
00:30:20,208 --> 00:30:21,185
Well, I don't.

560
00:30:21,209 --> 00:30:23,643
It's not dead for me.

561
00:30:23,667 --> 00:30:24,351
I'm your wife.

562
00:30:24,375 --> 00:30:25,144
You're my husband.

563
00:30:25,168 --> 00:30:26,351
You can say anything
you want to me,

564
00:30:26,375 --> 00:30:28,458
anything in the whole world.

565
00:30:34,958 --> 00:30:39,018
I want to leave.

566
00:30:39,042 --> 00:30:39,893
Leave?

567
00:30:39,917 --> 00:30:40,810
Yes.

568
00:30:40,834 --> 00:30:42,875
Leave to go where?

569
00:30:47,667 --> 00:30:51,309
There's someone else.

570
00:30:51,333 --> 00:30:53,750
Someone else?

571
00:30:53,792 --> 00:30:55,375
I'm sorry.

572
00:30:58,875 --> 00:31:01,559
How can there be
some... someone else?

573
00:31:01,583 --> 00:31:03,309
What someone else?

574
00:31:03,333 --> 00:31:06,184
A parent at school.

575
00:31:06,208 --> 00:31:07,893
You don't know...

576
00:31:07,917 --> 00:31:10,167
What parent at school?

577
00:31:12,208 --> 00:31:15,351
Her name's Angela Walker.

578
00:31:15,375 --> 00:31:16,352
I didn't mean it to happen.

579
00:31:16,376 --> 00:31:20,684
It was an accident,
but it's happened.

580
00:31:20,708 --> 00:31:22,601
An accident?

581
00:31:22,625 --> 00:31:24,250
How was it an accident?

582
00:31:25,417 --> 00:31:29,958
I met her to talk
over her son's problems.

583
00:31:31,375 --> 00:31:33,101
She told me about
the situation at home

584
00:31:33,125 --> 00:31:38,643
and that the boy's father
left a year or so ago.

585
00:31:38,667 --> 00:31:41,726
She became quite emotional.

586
00:31:41,750 --> 00:31:49,750
And I said what I could, and
that's how we became close.

587
00:31:51,333 --> 00:31:53,143
Became close?

588
00:31:53,167 --> 00:31:54,351
Yes.

589
00:31:54,375 --> 00:31:55,958
How close?

590
00:31:58,083 --> 00:31:59,309
No.

591
00:31:59,333 --> 00:32:01,559
I don't want to hear it.

592
00:32:01,583 --> 00:32:05,101
When did this accident happen?

593
00:32:05,125 --> 00:32:07,143
About a year ago.

594
00:32:07,167 --> 00:32:09,167
A Year ago?

595
00:32:10,583 --> 00:32:13,167
And you went on just the same?

596
00:32:15,750 --> 00:32:17,875
I should've told you before.

597
00:32:17,917 --> 00:32:22,184
But it's not an accident.

598
00:32:22,208 --> 00:32:24,476
You're doing it.

599
00:32:24,500 --> 00:32:27,101
You don't have to do it.

600
00:32:27,125 --> 00:32:28,476
You can stop doing it.

601
00:32:28,500 --> 00:32:29,934
I'm sorry.

602
00:32:29,958 --> 00:32:31,226
I can't.

603
00:32:31,250 --> 00:32:34,059
You're not free?

604
00:32:34,083 --> 00:32:36,250
Don't you realize that?

605
00:32:38,167 --> 00:32:40,018
This woman may have
lost her husband,

606
00:32:40,042 --> 00:32:43,934
but that doesn't give her
the right to take mine.

607
00:32:43,958 --> 00:32:45,559
Edward, this is ridiculous.

608
00:32:45,583 --> 00:32:46,352
You must see that.

609
00:32:46,376 --> 00:32:49,309
Or are you just doing
this to give me a fright,

610
00:32:49,333 --> 00:32:52,184
make me behave better?

611
00:32:52,208 --> 00:32:53,708
No.

612
00:32:55,667 --> 00:32:57,934
Does Jamie know?

613
00:32:57,958 --> 00:32:58,935
Some of it.

614
00:32:58,959 --> 00:33:00,375
I told him at breakfast.

615
00:33:00,417 --> 00:33:02,226
You told Jamie?

616
00:33:02,250 --> 00:33:04,809
I know this is all a shock.

617
00:33:04,833 --> 00:33:09,226
But I do truly believe you'll
come to see it's for the best.

618
00:33:09,250 --> 00:33:11,351
For the best?

619
00:33:11,375 --> 00:33:13,476
I'm no good for you,
Grace.

620
00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:15,643
I didn't give you what you want.

621
00:33:15,667 --> 00:33:20,643
You don't give me what I want
because you're not even trying.

622
00:33:20,667 --> 00:33:22,851
You found a way to
sneak out of it.

623
00:33:22,875 --> 00:33:24,309
Well, I won't let you.

624
00:33:24,333 --> 00:33:26,643
I'm sorry.

625
00:33:26,667 --> 00:33:28,018
<i>I've made up... I've
made up my mind.</i>

626
00:33:28,042 --> 00:33:31,601
Well, you'll have to
unmake it, won't you?

627
00:33:31,625 --> 00:33:33,934
This decision involves me.

628
00:33:33,958 --> 00:33:35,226
You have to consult me.

629
00:33:35,250 --> 00:33:36,268
Don't do this, Grace.

630
00:33:36,292 --> 00:33:37,227
It'll only make it worse.

631
00:33:37,251 --> 00:33:40,768
<i>You can't just walk
away after 29 years.</i>

632
00:33:40,792 --> 00:33:41,519
You have to try.

633
00:33:41,543 --> 00:33:45,184
I have tried for 29 years.

634
00:33:45,208 --> 00:33:46,768
No.

635
00:33:46,792 --> 00:33:47,644
Don't say that.

636
00:33:47,668 --> 00:33:49,018
You don't mean that.

637
00:33:49,042 --> 00:33:51,684
No.

638
00:33:51,708 --> 00:33:52,934
No, I don't mean that.

639
00:33:52,958 --> 00:33:57,559
But you know how it's been.

640
00:33:57,583 --> 00:34:05,583
<i>I... look, Edward,
we had Tunbridge.</i>

641
00:34:11,583 --> 00:34:18,809
<i>We... when Jamie was little,
those years at Tunbridge,</i>

642
00:34:18,833 --> 00:34:20,809
they were good years.

643
00:34:20,833 --> 00:34:22,684
You mustn't take it all.

644
00:34:22,708 --> 00:34:23,560
You mustn't.

645
00:34:23,584 --> 00:34:24,851
You'll kill me.

646
00:34:24,875 --> 00:34:30,083
When Jamie was little,
they were good years.

647
00:34:55,292 --> 00:34:57,833
Come here, darling.

648
00:35:02,333 --> 00:35:03,500
Oh.

649
00:35:08,708 --> 00:35:11,351
All right.

650
00:35:11,375 --> 00:35:12,684
You win.

651
00:35:12,708 --> 00:35:14,184
I'm sorry.

652
00:35:14,208 --> 00:35:16,684
I won't go for you ever again.

653
00:35:16,708 --> 00:35:17,477
Just don't leave.

654
00:35:17,501 --> 00:35:18,809
You know it won't work.

655
00:35:18,833 --> 00:35:19,519
Yes, it will.

656
00:35:19,543 --> 00:35:20,601
We'll make it work.

657
00:35:20,625 --> 00:35:21,144
Grace

658
00:35:21,168 --> 00:35:23,851
I just want a chance
to put things right.

659
00:35:23,875 --> 00:35:25,643
That's fair, isn't it?

660
00:35:25,667 --> 00:35:28,268
You owe me that at least.

661
00:35:28,292 --> 00:35:28,977
Sit down.

662
00:35:29,001 --> 00:35:31,309
Finish your breakfast.

663
00:35:31,333 --> 00:35:33,292
I have finished.

664
00:36:12,958 --> 00:36:14,851
It's me.

665
00:36:14,875 --> 00:36:17,726
I'm on my way.

666
00:36:17,750 --> 00:36:19,393
He won't leave, will he?

667
00:36:19,417 --> 00:36:21,434
He's just doing
this to frighten me.

668
00:36:21,458 --> 00:36:22,893
I think... I think he'll leave.

669
00:36:22,917 --> 00:36:25,851
Can you tell me
something else please?

670
00:36:25,875 --> 00:36:27,309
I don't know what to say.

671
00:36:27,333 --> 00:36:28,934
Say it won't happen.

672
00:36:28,958 --> 00:36:31,351
Say there's something I can do.

673
00:36:31,375 --> 00:36:34,893
Darling boy, tell me
what it is I'm to do

674
00:36:34,917 --> 00:36:36,143
and I'll do it for you.

675
00:36:36,167 --> 00:36:37,434
It's all right.

676
00:36:37,458 --> 00:36:40,167
I'll be all right in a minute.

677
00:40:30,375 --> 00:40:34,893
<i>That forecast much of the
country, plenty of sunshine</i>

678
00:40:34,917 --> 00:40:36,125
<i>around...</i>

679
00:40:39,417 --> 00:40:44,518
<i>Lush patchworks of
green, mesmerizing shades</i>

680
00:40:44,542 --> 00:40:52,476
<i>of blue, hills, dales,
rivers, and streams.</i>

681
00:40:52,500 --> 00:40:55,018
<i>Our countryside is
rich in landscapes</i>

682
00:40:55,042 --> 00:40:57,667
<i>just waiting to be explored.</i>

683
00:42:37,667 --> 00:42:40,226
Very unusual, Jamie.

684
00:42:40,250 --> 00:42:42,351
That's rather precipitous.

685
00:42:42,375 --> 00:42:44,309
Work up an amor for Jamie?

686
00:42:44,333 --> 00:42:46,208
Cheers.

687
00:42:49,292 --> 00:42:52,434
So how are things with Kelly?

688
00:42:52,458 --> 00:42:53,934
Kylie.

689
00:42:53,958 --> 00:42:54,935
Not good.

690
00:42:54,959 --> 00:42:58,143
She's acting kind of elusive.

691
00:42:58,167 --> 00:42:59,684
Elusive?

692
00:42:59,708 --> 00:43:00,393
That's not good.

693
00:43:00,417 --> 00:43:01,394
I don't know what it means.

694
00:43:01,418 --> 00:43:03,018
It means she never shows up.

695
00:43:03,042 --> 00:43:05,184
I mean it, Jamie,
you deserve better.

696
00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:05,935
I Wish.

697
00:43:05,959 --> 00:43:07,851
Can I give you a tip?

698
00:43:07,875 --> 00:43:08,394
Sure.

699
00:43:08,418 --> 00:43:13,518
OK, sometimes you can come
across as like unreachable,

700
00:43:13,542 --> 00:43:14,643
like your clothes.

701
00:43:14,667 --> 00:43:15,560
What's that about?

702
00:43:15,584 --> 00:43:16,601
I'm tired.

703
00:43:16,625 --> 00:43:17,477
This thing with my mom.

704
00:43:17,501 --> 00:43:21,018
She's having a hard time and
I'm going home every weekend.

705
00:43:21,042 --> 00:43:24,934
My clad walked out on
my mom, I'd kill him.

706
00:43:24,958 --> 00:43:26,059
I hadn't thought of that.

707
00:43:26,083 --> 00:43:28,268
Look, what I'm
saying about Kelly...

708
00:43:28,292 --> 00:43:28,810
Kylie

709
00:43:28,834 --> 00:43:30,601
Is... Kylie...

710
00:43:30,625 --> 00:43:35,934
<i>Maybe... maybe you just
went there for her enough.</i>

711
00:43:48,417 --> 00:43:51,143
When did you last see her?

712
00:43:51,167 --> 00:43:51,894
Sunday.

713
00:43:51,918 --> 00:43:53,268
How was she?

714
00:43:53,292 --> 00:43:54,060
Not good.

715
00:43:54,084 --> 00:43:56,226
Does she know you're meeting me?

716
00:43:56,250 --> 00:43:58,309
No, but she wanted
me to see you.

717
00:43:58,333 --> 00:43:59,809
She has a message for you.

718
00:43:59,833 --> 00:44:00,310
Oh?

719
00:44:00,334 --> 00:44:04,351
I am to say you owe it to
her to give her another chance.

720
00:44:04,375 --> 00:44:07,042
You did this out of the blue
without consulting her or

721
00:44:07,083 --> 00:44:09,601
warning her, and there it is.

722
00:44:09,625 --> 00:44:10,476
I'm sure you know.

723
00:44:10,500 --> 00:44:11,269
BS.

724
00:44:11,293 --> 00:44:14,101
She wants you to go
back for a trial period,

725
00:44:14,125 --> 00:44:15,643
and if it doesn't work out

726
00:44:15,667 --> 00:44:16,268
I can't.

727
00:44:16,292 --> 00:44:16,893
I've gone.

728
00:44:16,917 --> 00:44:17,727
I'm not coming back.

729
00:44:17,751 --> 00:44:22,851
I'll do anything I can to
help, but I'm not coming back.

730
00:44:22,875 --> 00:44:24,059
I'm sorry.

731
00:44:24,083 --> 00:44:24,935
Right.

732
00:44:24,959 --> 00:44:28,559
Do you want a tea or a...

733
00:44:28,583 --> 00:44:29,893
Or an ice cream?

734
00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:31,143
Fine.

735
00:44:31,167 --> 00:44:33,893
I might have a
Cornetto, something

736
00:44:33,917 --> 00:44:38,101
about being by the sea.

737
00:44:38,125 --> 00:44:40,208
One of them please.

738
00:44:44,792 --> 00:44:46,101
That's two pounds.

739
00:44:46,125 --> 00:44:47,643
Two pounds?

740
00:44:47,667 --> 00:44:50,393
Really?

741
00:44:50,417 --> 00:44:52,726
Thank you.

742
00:44:52,750 --> 00:44:55,309
I hardly ever use
cash these days.

743
00:44:55,333 --> 00:44:56,102
Why ever not?

744
00:44:56,126 --> 00:44:58,708
It's all contactless now.

745
00:45:00,917 --> 00:45:03,476
It's all contactless now, yes.

746
00:45:03,500 --> 00:45:05,768
Well, there it is.

747
00:45:05,792 --> 00:45:08,268
Thing is I really
don't know how Mom's

748
00:45:08,292 --> 00:45:10,268
going to make it through this.

749
00:45:10,292 --> 00:45:18,268
Both Angela and I think
the less contact I have,

750
00:45:18,292 --> 00:45:21,684
the sooner she'll move on.

751
00:45:21,708 --> 00:45:25,018
Yes, well, of course,
that doesn't mean I won't

752
00:45:25,042 --> 00:45:26,434
do everything I can to help.

753
00:45:26,458 --> 00:45:29,934
That's the part I
really don't understand.

754
00:45:29,958 --> 00:45:35,018
You seem to care for
her so much and now not.

755
00:45:35,042 --> 00:45:39,833
Yes, it's not easy to explain.

756
00:45:42,083 --> 00:45:43,934
There was a time,
wasn't there?

757
00:45:43,958 --> 00:45:46,559
Yes, yes, of course.

758
00:45:46,583 --> 00:45:50,226
I always thought you
were rather proud of her.

759
00:45:50,250 --> 00:45:55,684
She is remarkable in her way.

760
00:45:55,708 --> 00:45:59,726
I suppose I was half dazzled
by her in the beginning.

761
00:45:59,750 --> 00:46:01,351
She was quite dazzling.

762
00:46:01,375 --> 00:46:06,601
You looked happy in
all the old photographs.

763
00:46:06,625 --> 00:46:09,601
You were happy.

764
00:46:09,625 --> 00:46:15,167
I suppose we were and then not.

765
00:46:16,750 --> 00:46:20,434
You know what she
calls my Wiki-ing?

766
00:46:20,458 --> 00:46:21,227
Yes.

767
00:46:21,251 --> 00:46:23,934
If you make a mistake
in a Wikipedia article,

768
00:46:23,958 --> 00:46:26,351
you can do what they
call reverse it.

769
00:46:26,375 --> 00:46:34,059
You just click history, and
then you just click undo.

770
00:46:34,083 --> 00:46:35,768
Dad.

771
00:46:35,792 --> 00:46:39,643
By the way, I should have said
I've changed my phone number.

772
00:46:39,667 --> 00:46:40,934
I had to.

773
00:46:40,958 --> 00:46:42,268
Is she calling?

774
00:46:42,292 --> 00:46:43,643
Every day.

775
00:46:43,667 --> 00:46:44,851
Saying what?

776
00:46:44,875 --> 00:46:45,476
Nothing.

777
00:46:45,500 --> 00:46:46,269
She never spoke.

778
00:46:46,293 --> 00:46:48,518
I recognize the sound
of her breathing.

779
00:46:48,542 --> 00:46:50,750
You recognize.

780
00:46:54,292 --> 00:46:56,934
I'll give you the
new number if you...

781
00:46:56,958 --> 00:46:58,934
Just text me, Dad.

782
00:46:58,958 --> 00:47:00,768
OK.

783
00:47:00,792 --> 00:47:02,518
You won't...

784
00:47:02,542 --> 00:47:03,893
No.

785
00:47:03,917 --> 00:47:05,458
Fine.

786
00:47:07,917 --> 00:47:09,726
I should be getting...

787
00:47:09,750 --> 00:47:10,269
Going...

788
00:47:10,293 --> 00:47:13,059
She'll be waiting for me so...

789
00:47:13,083 --> 00:47:17,417
Well then keep in touch.

790
00:47:46,042 --> 00:47:47,708
Mom?

791
00:47:49,958 --> 00:47:53,184
How long have you
been sitting here?

792
00:47:53,208 --> 00:47:55,250
I have no idea.

793
00:48:00,125 --> 00:48:02,226
Just like Edward.

794
00:48:02,250 --> 00:48:02,769
What?

795
00:48:02,793 --> 00:48:05,476
Making tea so you
don't have to talk.

796
00:48:05,500 --> 00:48:09,768
We get our tea,
and then we talk.

797
00:48:09,792 --> 00:48:11,917
You've seen him.

798
00:48:13,625 --> 00:48:15,833
Alone or with her?

799
00:48:18,250 --> 00:48:19,934
Just him.

800
00:48:19,958 --> 00:48:21,143
I never met her.

801
00:48:21,167 --> 00:48:22,393
I'd have told you.

802
00:48:22,417 --> 00:48:25,101
Did you give him my message?

803
00:48:25,125 --> 00:48:26,768
Yes.

804
00:48:26,792 --> 00:48:28,018
Says he can't come back.

805
00:48:28,042 --> 00:48:29,167
Won't.

806
00:48:38,833 --> 00:48:40,393
What's this?

807
00:48:40,417 --> 00:48:43,143
What does it look like?

808
00:48:43,167 --> 00:48:44,559
And in the knife drawer.

809
00:48:44,583 --> 00:48:47,268
And on the phone message pad.

810
00:48:47,292 --> 00:48:51,184
<i>And... and in the
pocket of his coat.</i>

811
00:48:51,208 --> 00:48:52,185
What for?

812
00:48:52,209 --> 00:48:57,684
I don't know I suppose
because while I was writing

813
00:48:57,708 --> 00:48:59,893
them and hiding them
in all the places

814
00:48:59,917 --> 00:49:02,851
where he might find
them, it made me

815
00:49:02,875 --> 00:49:05,708
think it really could happen.

816
00:49:10,708 --> 00:49:13,083
He really would come back.

817
00:49:24,667 --> 00:49:32,667
And then when he found them,
he couldn't go away again.

818
00:49:42,833 --> 00:49:44,559
So he told you he won't.

819
00:49:44,583 --> 00:49:46,018
Yes.

820
00:49:46,042 --> 00:49:48,184
What did you say to that?

821
00:49:48,208 --> 00:49:50,601
Well, what could I say?

822
00:49:50,625 --> 00:49:52,684
You could say you bastard, you

823
00:49:52,708 --> 00:49:54,559
murderer, you home wrecker.

824
00:49:54,583 --> 00:49:55,227
Well, I didn't.

825
00:49:55,251 --> 00:49:56,851
Why not?

826
00:49:56,875 --> 00:49:59,601
Do you think he's entitled
to do what he's doing?

827
00:49:59,625 --> 00:50:01,809
That's not for me to judge.

828
00:50:01,833 --> 00:50:02,435
Why not?

829
00:50:02,459 --> 00:50:05,184
If you saw a man beating a
woman to death in the street,

830
00:50:05,208 --> 00:50:08,768
would you walk on by, say
that's not for me to judge?

831
00:50:08,792 --> 00:50:09,644
That's not how it is.

832
00:50:09,668 --> 00:50:10,976
This is a murder, Jamie.

833
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:15,476
Just because there's no blood,
don't think it's not a murder.

834
00:50:15,500 --> 00:50:17,309
He's murdering a marriage.

835
00:50:17,333 --> 00:50:20,518
Marriages don't bleed,
but it's still murder.

836
00:50:20,542 --> 00:50:22,292
I don't think it
helps to talk like that.

837
00:50:22,333 --> 00:50:26,684
Tell me how to
talk so it does help.

838
00:50:26,708 --> 00:50:28,393
Marriages break down.

839
00:50:28,417 --> 00:50:29,269
It happens all the time.

840
00:50:29,293 --> 00:50:30,643
Nobody wants it to
happen but it does,

841
00:50:30,667 --> 00:50:31,644
and we have to live with it.

842
00:50:31,668 --> 00:50:33,143
Oh, what sort of talk is that?

843
00:50:33,167 --> 00:50:35,851
Children are starving
to death all the time,

844
00:50:35,875 --> 00:50:37,476
but it doesn't
make it all right.

845
00:50:37,500 --> 00:50:38,352
But we live with it.

846
00:50:38,376 --> 00:50:40,184
Not if it was my child.

847
00:50:40,208 --> 00:50:42,809
Not if it was you.

848
00:50:42,833 --> 00:50:45,643
If it was you starving
to death, I'd let

849
00:50:45,667 --> 00:50:47,893
myself die first to save you.

850
00:50:47,917 --> 00:50:49,434
Do you doubt that?

851
00:50:49,458 --> 00:50:49,935
No.

852
00:50:49,959 --> 00:50:55,018
Well, this is my marriage,
and I'll do anything to save it.

853
00:50:55,042 --> 00:50:57,542
And I'm asking you to help me.

854
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:01,852
It's what he does.

855
00:51:01,876 --> 00:51:03,393
He won't look at me.

856
00:51:03,417 --> 00:51:05,268
I'm not him, Mom, all right.

857
00:51:05,292 --> 00:51:10,643
Well, you're walking
away just like he did.

858
00:51:10,667 --> 00:51:13,684
He actually walked away.

859
00:51:13,708 --> 00:51:18,059
Trot, trot, trot down the road.

860
00:51:18,083 --> 00:51:20,143
Stupid suitcase.

861
00:51:20,167 --> 00:51:21,768
Have you got a suitcase?

862
00:51:21,792 --> 00:51:22,934
I'm here, aren't I?

863
00:51:22,958 --> 00:51:26,226
But you want to walk away.

864
00:51:26,250 --> 00:51:28,351
You do, don't you?

865
00:51:28,375 --> 00:51:29,268
I can't.

866
00:51:29,292 --> 00:51:30,269
Why not?

867
00:51:30,293 --> 00:51:34,184
'Case something happens
to me, you feel guilty?

868
00:51:34,208 --> 00:51:35,851
Nothing's going to happen to me.

869
00:51:35,875 --> 00:51:37,643
That's what I can't bear.

870
00:51:37,667 --> 00:51:40,601
When you're alone,
things stop happening.

871
00:51:40,625 --> 00:51:42,518
That's because you stay in.

872
00:51:42,542 --> 00:51:43,352
I wish you wouldn't.

873
00:51:43,376 --> 00:51:46,059
I should go out more,
should I?

874
00:51:46,083 --> 00:51:47,559
Join a book group.

875
00:51:47,583 --> 00:51:49,726
It beats sitting on the stairs.

876
00:51:49,750 --> 00:51:50,685
What was that about?

877
00:51:50,709 --> 00:51:53,101
I was going up or coming down.

878
00:51:53,125 --> 00:51:55,059
I don't remember.

879
00:51:55,083 --> 00:51:58,143
I just thought what
difference does it make.

880
00:51:58,167 --> 00:52:00,476
I might as well just stop here.

881
00:52:00,500 --> 00:52:02,917
Where you can see the door?

882
00:52:05,375 --> 00:52:09,125
Yeah, it's rather
clever of you, Jamie.

883
00:52:11,083 --> 00:52:13,476
Is that why you don't go out?

884
00:52:13,500 --> 00:52:18,417
Because you think maybe he'll
walk back through that door?

885
00:52:20,708 --> 00:52:22,351
He might.

886
00:52:22,375 --> 00:52:23,792
Mom.

887
00:52:30,333 --> 00:52:30,852
Come on.

888
00:52:30,876 --> 00:52:33,726
Let's get you out of here.

889
00:52:36,875 --> 00:52:41,143
He told me he's decided
you can have the house.

890
00:52:41,167 --> 00:52:43,684
Oh, has he.

891
00:52:43,708 --> 00:52:46,184
I suppose he thinks that
makes everything all right.

892
00:52:46,208 --> 00:52:48,393
Think he really wants
to do what he can.

893
00:52:48,417 --> 00:52:51,559
So he told you I
could have the house.

894
00:52:51,583 --> 00:52:52,102
Yes.

895
00:52:52,126 --> 00:52:53,559
Well, he hasn't told me.

896
00:52:53,583 --> 00:52:54,643
He wanted me to tell you.

897
00:52:54,667 --> 00:52:57,184
I don't care what he wanted.

898
00:52:57,208 --> 00:52:59,601
If he wants to make
arrangements that affect me,

899
00:52:59,625 --> 00:53:01,809
he can come and
talk to me himself.

900
00:53:01,833 --> 00:53:04,934
I won't have him using
you as a messenger boy.

901
00:53:04,958 --> 00:53:09,458
Can't stand the way he does
all this without consulting me.

902
00:53:09,500 --> 00:53:10,893
Why isn't it working?

903
00:53:10,917 --> 00:53:12,684
He's changed his number.

904
00:53:12,708 --> 00:53:14,684
He's changed his number.

905
00:53:14,708 --> 00:53:15,352
He told me.

906
00:53:15,376 --> 00:53:16,893
So he's got a new number.

907
00:53:16,917 --> 00:53:17,435
Yes.

908
00:53:17,459 --> 00:53:19,018
Have you got it?

909
00:53:19,042 --> 00:53:20,518
No.

910
00:53:20,542 --> 00:53:21,934
Don't be silly, Jamie.

911
00:53:21,958 --> 00:53:22,935
Of course, you have.

912
00:53:22,959 --> 00:53:24,851
I could always tell
when you were lying.

913
00:53:24,875 --> 00:53:26,559
I can't give it to you.

914
00:53:26,583 --> 00:53:27,310
Why not?

915
00:53:27,334 --> 00:53:29,143
He asked me not
to give it to you.

916
00:53:29,167 --> 00:53:31,018
Well, I ask you
to give it to me.

917
00:53:31,042 --> 00:53:32,059
I'm not going to, all right.

918
00:53:32,083 --> 00:53:34,851
I don't see why you always
have to get your own way.

919
00:53:34,875 --> 00:53:35,644
Get my own way?

920
00:53:35,668 --> 00:53:37,226
You think I get my own way?

921
00:53:37,250 --> 00:53:40,101
I think it'd be a bad
idea to give you his number.

922
00:53:40,125 --> 00:53:42,643
Well, that's not
for you to judge

923
00:53:42,667 --> 00:53:44,851
as you're so fond of saying.

924
00:53:44,875 --> 00:53:45,560
I'm grown up.

925
00:53:45,584 --> 00:53:47,101
I'm not a criminal or a lunatic.

926
00:53:47,125 --> 00:53:49,875
I wish to be able to
contact my husband.

927
00:53:49,917 --> 00:53:51,143
No.

928
00:53:51,167 --> 00:53:53,684
I think you'd better go.

929
00:53:53,708 --> 00:53:54,393
Go on, leave.

930
00:53:54,417 --> 00:53:55,227
It's what you want.

931
00:53:55,251 --> 00:53:58,351
You can't help, so
why don't you just go?

932
00:53:58,375 --> 00:53:59,227
You're no use to me.

933
00:53:59,251 --> 00:54:00,559
You've taken his side.

934
00:54:00,583 --> 00:54:02,434
You've left me already
just like he has.

935
00:54:02,458 --> 00:54:04,309
Well, if I'm to be
alone, I'd rather

936
00:54:04,333 --> 00:54:07,559
be alone and not have you
dangling about pitying me

937
00:54:07,583 --> 00:54:08,643
and patronizing me.

938
00:54:08,667 --> 00:54:09,309
Go on leave.

939
00:54:09,333 --> 00:54:10,101
Why do you do this?

940
00:54:10,125 --> 00:54:10,977
Do What?

941
00:54:11,001 --> 00:54:12,143
I've not done anything.

942
00:54:12,167 --> 00:54:13,059
I've not left him.

943
00:54:13,083 --> 00:54:13,769
He's left me.

944
00:54:13,793 --> 00:54:14,893
Go and tell him not to do this.

945
00:54:14,917 --> 00:54:15,810
I can't bring him back.

946
00:54:15,834 --> 00:54:17,768
You don't know that.

947
00:54:17,792 --> 00:54:19,684
Have you tried?

948
00:54:19,708 --> 00:54:20,560
You go on seeing him.

949
00:54:20,584 --> 00:54:22,934
That means you let him
think he has your approval.

950
00:54:22,958 --> 00:54:24,958
Mom, he's in love!

951
00:56:11,250 --> 00:56:14,958
What you need is a sugar high.

952
00:56:22,375 --> 00:56:24,601
There, life flooding back?

953
00:56:24,625 --> 00:56:27,934
I should feed one
of these to my mom.

954
00:56:27,958 --> 00:56:31,226
She still in a bad way?

955
00:56:31,250 --> 00:56:35,226
It's bad what your dad did.

956
00:56:35,250 --> 00:56:37,518
Oh, he... he wasn't happy.

957
00:56:37,542 --> 00:56:38,519
I knew that.

958
00:56:38,543 --> 00:56:41,101
They must have
loved each other once?

959
00:56:41,125 --> 00:56:43,792
Yeah, way back.

960
00:56:45,333 --> 00:56:51,101
<i>We used... we used to do this
thing when I was little where</i>

961
00:56:51,125 --> 00:56:54,476
we'd stand in a line,
and I'd be in the middle

962
00:56:54,500 --> 00:57:00,184
and then my mom would hold one
my dad would hold the other...

963
00:57:00,208 --> 00:57:03,125
And they'd swing
me between them.

964
00:57:06,667 --> 00:57:09,601
All moms and dads do it.

965
00:57:09,625 --> 00:57:15,434
<i>Their kids, they just swing...
Swing me along between them.</i>

966
00:57:15,458 --> 00:57:16,269
Sorry.

967
00:57:16,293 --> 00:57:17,750
Jamie.

968
00:57:17,792 --> 00:57:18,394
You know me.

969
00:57:18,418 --> 00:57:19,476
If I cry, I'm crying for myself.

970
00:57:19,500 --> 00:57:21,434
I just didn't care
enough about anyone else.

971
00:57:21,458 --> 00:57:22,601
That's not true.

972
00:57:22,625 --> 00:57:24,434
You got me at Krispy Kreme.

973
00:57:24,458 --> 00:57:26,309
So what's up?

974
00:57:26,333 --> 00:57:27,476
Is this about me?

975
00:57:27,500 --> 00:57:28,684
I'm not the one who's crying.

976
00:57:28,708 --> 00:57:31,351
I'm not the one who's been left.

977
00:57:31,375 --> 00:57:32,833
Aren't you?

978
00:57:35,292 --> 00:57:36,559
OK, OK.

979
00:57:36,583 --> 00:57:39,934
Still seeing your
mom every weekend?

980
00:57:39,958 --> 00:57:41,851
Until she can cope on her own.

981
00:57:41,875 --> 00:57:45,143
When do you stop going?

982
00:57:45,167 --> 00:57:46,601
Not so often anyway.

983
00:57:46,625 --> 00:57:50,643
How is she going to feel then?

984
00:57:50,667 --> 00:57:52,768
Not great.

985
00:57:52,792 --> 00:57:55,934
How are you going to feel then?

986
00:57:55,958 --> 00:57:57,184
Me?

987
00:57:57,208 --> 00:58:00,125
Jess thinks you're
still holding on.

988
00:58:03,583 --> 00:58:05,083
Am I?

989
00:58:41,958 --> 00:58:46,559
It's some papers
I'm supposed to sign.

990
00:58:46,583 --> 00:58:47,893
I don't know what.

991
00:58:47,917 --> 00:58:51,875
Jamie, I'm not going to do it.

992
00:58:53,583 --> 00:58:56,018
No... he can ask me himself.

993
00:58:56,042 --> 00:59:01,143
He can come here, and
we'll sign together.

994
00:59:01,167 --> 00:59:03,184
Yes, I'm coping.

995
00:59:03,208 --> 00:59:04,625
Sunday then.

996
00:59:18,042 --> 00:59:21,768
30 years ago, I was
standing on a platform

997
00:59:21,792 --> 00:59:26,393
in Charing Cross Station waiting
to get on a train to Tunbridge.

998
00:59:26,417 --> 00:59:30,934
And I saw a man walking down
the platform who I thought

999
00:59:30,958 --> 00:59:31,644
was my father.

1000
00:59:31,668 --> 00:59:34,934
And I raised my arm
and called, father.

1001
00:59:34,958 --> 00:59:37,059
And with my arm
still in the air,

1002
00:59:37,083 --> 00:59:41,268
I remembered that my father
had died four months earlier.

1003
00:59:41,292 --> 00:59:47,476
The man, a complete
stranger, walked on by.

1004
00:59:47,500 --> 00:59:48,934
The train came in.

1005
00:59:48,958 --> 00:59:52,684
I got into a carriage, and
the train left Charing Cross.

1006
00:59:52,708 --> 00:59:56,893
The other person in the
carriage was a young woman.

1007
00:59:56,917 --> 01:00:01,768
She was looking at me as
if she was sorry for me.

1008
01:00:01,792 --> 01:00:04,809
I realized I had
tears on my cheeks.

1009
01:00:04,833 --> 01:00:07,434
What is it she said.

1010
01:00:07,458 --> 01:00:08,269
Oh, nothing I said.

1011
01:00:08,293 --> 01:00:10,893
I mistook a man for
my father who's dead.

1012
01:00:10,917 --> 01:00:17,601
And she said you must want
to see him again very much.

1013
01:00:17,625 --> 01:00:19,101
My father was a reserved man.

1014
01:00:19,125 --> 01:00:23,143
I don't remember him
ever embracing me.

1015
01:00:23,167 --> 01:00:26,601
Somehow when this young
woman said these words to me,

1016
01:00:26,625 --> 01:00:31,559
I knew that all my life
I'd wanted his embrace

1017
01:00:31,583 --> 01:00:35,143
and that now it
would never come.

1018
01:00:35,167 --> 01:00:41,101
I began to weep, continued
weeping I should say.

1019
01:00:41,125 --> 01:00:43,601
And the young woman
recited some lines

1020
01:00:43,625 --> 01:00:50,684
from a poem I'd never heard
and never forgotten since.

1021
01:00:50,708 --> 01:00:51,644
Stay for me there.

1022
01:00:51,668 --> 01:00:56,684
I will not fail to meet
thee in that hollow veil.

1023
01:00:56,708 --> 01:00:59,393
And think not much of my delay.

1024
01:00:59,417 --> 01:01:02,184
I am already on the way.

1025
01:01:02,208 --> 01:01:06,750
It's by Henri King on
the death of his wife.

1026
01:01:07,667 --> 01:01:11,917
How did that young woman in the
train know what I was feeling?

1027
01:01:14,542 --> 01:01:16,226
It was your mother.

1028
01:01:16,250 --> 01:01:19,559
Of course, it was Grace.

1029
01:01:19,583 --> 01:01:20,893
And I was on the wrong train.

1030
01:01:20,917 --> 01:01:21,769
It was the fast train.

1031
01:01:21,793 --> 01:01:22,809
It never stopped at my station.

1032
01:01:22,833 --> 01:01:26,292
We were halfway to Dover
before I realized it.

1033
01:01:27,458 --> 01:01:33,018
The truth is I made a
mistake about Grace right

1034
01:01:33,042 --> 01:01:35,184
at the beginning, and she
made a mistake about me.

1035
01:01:35,208 --> 01:01:39,601
We thought we were like
each other, and we weren't.

1036
01:01:39,625 --> 01:01:40,394
I didn't know it.

1037
01:01:40,418 --> 01:01:42,643
I did my best to be who
she wanted me to be,

1038
01:01:42,667 --> 01:01:45,500
but I didn't know
who I was myself.

1039
01:01:48,875 --> 01:01:56,309
All it took was Angela's
hand on my arm, her touch.

1040
01:01:56,333 --> 01:01:59,042
It was me she touched.

1041
01:02:01,708 --> 01:02:09,708
No demands, no
expectations, just love.

1042
01:02:12,542 --> 01:02:18,917
All those years ago,
I got on the wrong train.

1043
01:02:24,417 --> 01:02:26,518
I've always liked your flat.

1044
01:02:26,542 --> 01:02:27,893
Does it still suit you?

1045
01:02:27,917 --> 01:02:29,875
It does the job?

1046
01:02:35,708 --> 01:02:40,476
Why do people have to
have such big houses?

1047
01:02:40,500 --> 01:02:43,417
One needs so little really.

1048
01:02:47,917 --> 01:02:50,726
Mom says you want
her to sign something.

1049
01:02:50,750 --> 01:02:51,269
Yes.

1050
01:02:51,293 --> 01:02:54,268
It is better to have
things sorted out.

1051
01:02:54,292 --> 01:02:55,309
She wants to do it with you.

1052
01:02:55,333 --> 01:02:57,184
She says you'll sign the
papers if you do it together.

1053
01:02:57,208 --> 01:03:01,184
She wants to make a scene,
but I won't be drawn in, Jamie.

1054
01:03:01,208 --> 01:03:01,935
There's no point.

1055
01:03:01,959 --> 01:03:03,143
She says she'll behave herself.

1056
01:03:03,167 --> 01:03:05,768
If she wants
us to sign together,

1057
01:03:05,792 --> 01:03:07,934
it had better be the
solicitor's office.

1058
01:03:07,958 --> 01:03:09,476
But it's the last time.

1059
01:03:09,500 --> 01:03:15,018
Tell her if you can.

1060
01:03:15,042 --> 01:03:16,518
The last time.

1061
01:03:21,625 --> 01:03:23,833
Come on, puppy.

1062
01:03:41,125 --> 01:03:46,643
They shall grow not old
as we that are left gold.

1063
01:03:46,667 --> 01:03:50,851
I shall not wear them
nor the years come down.

1064
01:03:50,875 --> 01:03:55,768
After going down on the
sun and in the morning,

1065
01:03:55,792 --> 01:03:57,393
we will remember them.

1066
01:03:57,417 --> 01:03:59,976
We will remember them.

1067
01:04:37,834 --> 01:04:39,476
Oh, hello, Jamie.

1068
01:04:39,500 --> 01:04:40,185
You've come.

1069
01:04:40,209 --> 01:04:41,351
Hello.

1070
01:04:41,375 --> 01:04:42,934
Who are you?

1071
01:04:42,958 --> 01:04:44,768
Isn't he adorable.

1072
01:04:44,792 --> 01:04:45,602
He's so affectionate.

1073
01:04:45,626 --> 01:04:49,309
Oh, he does me more good
than all my tranquilizers.

1074
01:04:49,333 --> 01:04:50,601
What's his name?

1075
01:04:50,625 --> 01:04:52,518
Eddie.

1076
01:04:52,542 --> 01:04:53,684
Come here, Eddie.

1077
01:04:53,708 --> 01:04:54,394
Come here, boy.

1078
01:04:54,418 --> 01:04:56,583
Mother, you can't
call him Eddie.

1079
01:04:56,625 --> 01:04:58,143
Why not?

1080
01:04:58,167 --> 01:04:58,935
His name is Edward.

1081
01:04:58,959 --> 01:05:01,809
<i>Just... well, it's
such a give away.</i>

1082
01:05:01,833 --> 01:05:03,768
What does it give away?

1083
01:05:03,792 --> 01:05:05,559
Look, I'm training him.

1084
01:05:05,583 --> 01:05:07,268
Look.

1085
01:05:07,292 --> 01:05:09,684
Stay, Edward.

1086
01:05:09,708 --> 01:05:10,227
Stay.

1087
01:05:10,251 --> 01:05:11,559
Mom, it's so embarrassing.

1088
01:05:11,583 --> 01:05:13,893
Oh, good boy.

1089
01:05:13,917 --> 01:05:14,394
Why?

1090
01:05:14,418 --> 01:05:15,851
I'm not embarrassed.

1091
01:05:15,875 --> 01:05:18,226
Why should you be embarrassed?

1092
01:05:22,333 --> 01:05:25,643
Have you gone back
to your anthology?

1093
01:05:25,667 --> 01:05:26,684
Oh, no.

1094
01:05:26,708 --> 01:05:28,976
I'm not doing that anymore.

1095
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:29,852
That's a pity.

1096
01:05:29,876 --> 01:05:31,601
Thought it sounded good.

1097
01:05:31,625 --> 01:05:32,310
No, you didn't.

1098
01:05:32,334 --> 01:05:33,768
You thought it gave
me something to do.

1099
01:05:33,792 --> 01:05:35,809
Well, we all need
something to do.

1100
01:05:35,833 --> 01:05:39,042
There's no disgrace in that.

1101
01:05:39,083 --> 01:05:40,268
So how are you?

1102
01:05:40,292 --> 01:05:42,018
How's your love life?

1103
01:05:42,042 --> 01:05:42,644
Private.

1104
01:05:42,668 --> 01:05:47,518
Uh, so you're still on your own.

1105
01:05:47,542 --> 01:05:50,768
Lunch is going to be very basic.

1106
01:05:50,792 --> 01:05:52,393
Wonder why.

1107
01:05:52,417 --> 01:05:53,934
Why you haven't found anyone.

1108
01:05:53,958 --> 01:05:55,184
You look perfectly normal.

1109
01:05:55,208 --> 01:05:56,643
This isn't about me.

1110
01:05:56,667 --> 01:05:58,309
Yes, it is.

1111
01:05:58,333 --> 01:05:59,726
If you're no good
at making people

1112
01:05:59,750 --> 01:06:00,934
love you, that's
my fault, isn't it?

1113
01:06:00,958 --> 01:06:04,643
Or Edward's fault for being
such a sneaking sniveling

1114
01:06:04,667 --> 01:06:05,519
excuse for a man.

1115
01:06:05,543 --> 01:06:07,434
I wish you wouldn't do that.

1116
01:06:07,458 --> 01:06:09,018
I wish he wouldn't do that.

1117
01:06:09,042 --> 01:06:11,851
Maybe I should take
some of this post to Dad.

1118
01:06:11,875 --> 01:06:12,852
It looks quite important.

1119
01:06:12,876 --> 01:06:16,851
If he wants them, he
can come and get them.

1120
01:06:16,875 --> 01:06:19,833
It was Remembrance
Day service today.

1121
01:06:19,875 --> 01:06:22,809
It was very moving, you know.

1122
01:06:22,833 --> 01:06:26,268
I found myself thinking about
the two wars and the wives

1123
01:06:26,292 --> 01:06:29,018
and the mothers waiting
at home and the telegrams

1124
01:06:29,042 --> 01:06:32,393
from the war office telling
them that their husbands

1125
01:06:32,417 --> 01:06:35,184
and sons were dead.

1126
01:06:35,208 --> 01:06:39,101
I thought how terrible
that must have been.

1127
01:06:39,125 --> 01:06:45,518
And yet it was somehow easier to
bear than losing Edward the way

1128
01:06:45,542 --> 01:06:46,435
I've lost him.

1129
01:06:46,459 --> 01:06:49,768
And then all at once I saw it.

1130
01:06:49,792 --> 01:06:50,934
This is our war.

1131
01:06:50,958 --> 01:06:54,559
This is what makes widows
and orphans nowadays.

1132
01:06:54,583 --> 01:07:00,184
Only there aren't any graves
or Remembrance Day services.

1133
01:07:00,208 --> 01:07:02,726
We're not allowed to mourn.

1134
01:07:02,750 --> 01:07:06,333
So you see I'm not
really coping after all.

1135
01:07:09,917 --> 01:07:10,851
Come on, Eddie.

1136
01:07:10,875 --> 01:07:11,394
Come on.

1137
01:07:11,418 --> 01:07:12,893
Let's go, Eddie.

1138
01:07:12,917 --> 01:07:14,684
Come on.

1139
01:07:14,708 --> 01:07:17,059
There it is.

1140
01:07:17,083 --> 01:07:19,726
Good boy.

1141
01:07:19,750 --> 01:07:20,226
Boy.

1142
01:07:20,250 --> 01:07:20,894
Let's go.

1143
01:07:20,918 --> 01:07:22,083
Come on.

1144
01:07:24,542 --> 01:07:27,476
<i>Mrs. Axton, Mr.
Whitacomb's expecting you.</i>

1145
01:07:27,500 --> 01:07:29,434
Has my father arrived?

1146
01:07:29,458 --> 01:07:30,185
Not yet.

1147
01:07:30,209 --> 01:07:31,351
I'll take you through.

1148
01:07:31,375 --> 01:07:33,476
We don't allow
dogs in the office.

1149
01:07:33,500 --> 01:07:34,310
I'm so sorry.

1150
01:07:34,334 --> 01:07:35,351
How sorry?

1151
01:07:35,375 --> 01:07:36,019
I'm sorry?

1152
01:07:36,043 --> 01:07:37,143
My goodness.

1153
01:07:37,167 --> 01:07:38,268
You are sorry.

1154
01:07:38,292 --> 01:07:39,559
Never mind.

1155
01:07:39,583 --> 01:07:40,726
It'll pass.

1156
01:07:40,750 --> 01:07:43,167
If you'd like to follow me.

1157
01:07:46,583 --> 01:07:49,101
Thank you for coming in.

1158
01:07:49,125 --> 01:07:51,101
Oh, I'm... I'm Peter Whitacomb.

1159
01:07:51,125 --> 01:07:53,143
I'm acting for your
husband in this matter.

1160
01:07:53,167 --> 01:07:56,851
<i>Mr. Axton wishes everything
to be done properly.</i>

1161
01:07:56,875 --> 01:07:57,560
Do take a seat.

1162
01:07:57,584 --> 01:07:59,309
You may be able to
do everything legally,

1163
01:07:59,333 --> 01:08:01,518
but I don't see how
you can do it properly.

1164
01:08:01,542 --> 01:08:03,059
Mom, you promised.

1165
01:08:03,083 --> 01:08:03,977
All right.

1166
01:08:04,001 --> 01:08:05,976
I'll behave myself.

1167
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:07,143
I'm so sorry.

1168
01:08:07,167 --> 01:08:07,769
Am I late.

1169
01:08:07,793 --> 01:08:09,018
Oh, who's this?

1170
01:08:09,042 --> 01:08:10,309
Come, Edward.

1171
01:08:10,333 --> 01:08:10,810
What?

1172
01:08:10,834 --> 01:08:12,059
Not you.

1173
01:08:12,083 --> 01:08:12,559
Come.

1174
01:08:12,583 --> 01:08:13,184
Come here.

1175
01:08:13,208 --> 01:08:13,935
Come here, boy.

1176
01:08:13,959 --> 01:08:15,934
Good boy.

1177
01:08:15,958 --> 01:08:16,684
Sit.

1178
01:08:16,708 --> 01:08:17,643
Good boy.

1179
01:08:17,667 --> 01:08:18,477
Sit.

1180
01:08:18,501 --> 01:08:19,768
Good boy.

1181
01:08:19,792 --> 01:08:21,184
Hello, I'm here, too.

1182
01:08:21,208 --> 01:08:22,268
Hello, hello, hello.

1183
01:08:22,292 --> 01:08:23,102
How are you, Grace?

1184
01:08:23,126 --> 01:08:24,750
Fine, fine, fine.

1185
01:08:24,792 --> 01:08:26,268
Thank you for this, Peter.

1186
01:08:26,292 --> 01:08:27,934
Shall we proceed.

1187
01:08:27,958 --> 01:08:28,685
By all means.

1188
01:08:28,709 --> 01:08:31,684
This is the summary of
the financial agreement.

1189
01:08:31,708 --> 01:08:36,059
This is the deed signing over
the house into your sole name,

1190
01:08:36,083 --> 01:08:36,727
Mrs. Axton.

1191
01:08:36,751 --> 01:08:38,559
This is the application
for the decree.

1192
01:08:38,583 --> 01:08:43,934
All you have to do is
sign by the yellow tags.

1193
01:08:43,958 --> 01:08:45,059
Hah.

1194
01:08:45,083 --> 01:08:46,434
What happens if I don't?

1195
01:08:46,458 --> 01:08:51,059
Then this agreement is set
aside, and we start again.

1196
01:08:51,083 --> 01:08:52,809
But I have to see
in your interest

1197
01:08:52,833 --> 01:08:55,101
that this is a very
good settlement.

1198
01:08:55,125 --> 01:08:57,059
No court would
give half as much.

1199
01:08:57,083 --> 01:09:00,226
You get the entire value
of the family home.

1200
01:09:00,250 --> 01:09:00,934
Stop it.

1201
01:09:00,958 --> 01:09:01,477
Mom.

1202
01:09:01,501 --> 01:09:03,684
How can he sit there and say
that I get the entire value

1203
01:09:03,708 --> 01:09:07,768
of the family home when the
entire value of the family home

1204
01:09:07,792 --> 01:09:10,143
is precisely what's
being taken from me.

1205
01:09:10,167 --> 01:09:11,601
I knew this wouldn't work.

1206
01:09:11,625 --> 01:09:12,309
Yes, it will.

1207
01:09:12,333 --> 01:09:13,185
I'm being business like.

1208
01:09:13,209 --> 01:09:18,934
No more references to sneaking
two-faced marital treachery.

1209
01:09:18,958 --> 01:09:22,018
So this settlement you
and Edward come up with,

1210
01:09:22,042 --> 01:09:24,684
do I get more than
I'd get if he died?

1211
01:09:24,708 --> 01:09:25,893
If he died?

1212
01:09:25,917 --> 01:09:27,018
Yes.

1213
01:09:27,042 --> 01:09:28,143
Well, no.

1214
01:09:28,167 --> 01:09:29,684
As things stand, if
your husband died,

1215
01:09:29,708 --> 01:09:32,684
you'd get the house,
your joint savings,

1216
01:09:32,708 --> 01:09:34,893
and a full widow's pension.

1217
01:09:34,917 --> 01:09:39,184
And if we get a
divorce, I get less?

1218
01:09:39,208 --> 01:09:39,727
Yes.

1219
01:09:39,751 --> 01:09:43,184
So it would be better
for me if you were dead?

1220
01:09:43,208 --> 01:09:43,894
But I'm not.

1221
01:09:43,918 --> 01:09:45,934
It would be better in every way.

1222
01:09:45,958 --> 01:09:49,208
If I have to manage
without you, I'd...

1223
01:09:49,250 --> 01:09:50,309
I'd rather be a widow.

1224
01:09:50,333 --> 01:09:54,434
Awidow has so much more
status than a left woman.

1225
01:09:54,458 --> 01:09:56,226
I could put flowers
on your grave

1226
01:09:56,250 --> 01:09:58,518
and remember all the
good times we had

1227
01:09:58,542 --> 01:10:02,351
and look forward to seeing
you again in heaven.

1228
01:10:02,375 --> 01:10:04,893
Reunited as they put
on the gravestones.

1229
01:10:04,917 --> 01:10:07,809
Only as things stand,
there's no grave.

1230
01:10:07,833 --> 01:10:10,601
You've poisoned all my
memories, and when we meet again

1231
01:10:10,625 --> 01:10:13,309
in the next world,
they'll be bloody Angela

1232
01:10:13,333 --> 01:10:14,184
clogging the place out.

1233
01:10:14,208 --> 01:10:14,977
Angela was right.

1234
01:10:15,001 --> 01:10:16,184
I shouldn't have agreed to this.

1235
01:10:16,208 --> 01:10:18,434
Sit.

1236
01:10:18,458 --> 01:10:20,083
Fuck Angela.

1237
01:10:24,375 --> 01:10:25,559
Sorry, Mr. Whitacomb.

1238
01:10:25,583 --> 01:10:28,143
He makes me do these things.

1239
01:10:28,167 --> 01:10:30,000
It's the way he walks away.

1240
01:10:30,042 --> 01:10:30,935
It drives me mad.

1241
01:10:30,959 --> 01:10:32,934
Is there any point
going on with this?

1242
01:10:32,958 --> 01:10:34,143
Is there any point?

1243
01:10:34,167 --> 01:10:37,268
Yes, there's a point.

1244
01:10:37,292 --> 01:10:39,226
Look at Jamie.

1245
01:10:39,250 --> 01:10:41,059
He's our son.

1246
01:10:41,083 --> 01:10:42,684
He's part you and part me.

1247
01:10:42,708 --> 01:10:43,851
We made him.

1248
01:10:43,875 --> 01:10:47,059
We joined together,
and we made him.

1249
01:10:47,083 --> 01:10:49,518
Now you know as well
as I do that the church

1250
01:10:49,542 --> 01:10:50,684
says marriage is a bond.

1251
01:10:50,708 --> 01:10:56,101
It cannot be dissolved, and
that's why it makes people.

1252
01:10:56,125 --> 01:10:59,143
You can get lawyers to put
whatever you want on paper,

1253
01:10:59,167 --> 01:11:01,934
but you're still my
husband and Jamie's father.

1254
01:11:01,958 --> 01:11:04,601
And you will be until
the clay you die.

1255
01:11:04,625 --> 01:11:05,768
I know your view.

1256
01:11:05,792 --> 01:11:07,351
This isn't a view.

1257
01:11:07,375 --> 01:11:08,226
This is how it is.

1258
01:11:08,250 --> 01:11:08,852
Foryou.

1259
01:11:08,876 --> 01:11:12,309
No, not just for
me, for everybody.

1260
01:11:12,333 --> 01:11:14,351
You can't invent
a private reality.

1261
01:11:14,375 --> 01:11:15,060
Nor can you.

1262
01:11:15,084 --> 01:11:16,893
Mine isn't a private reality.

1263
01:11:16,917 --> 01:11:18,434
Well, then nor is mine.

1264
01:11:18,458 --> 01:11:20,184
Yes, it is.

1265
01:11:20,208 --> 01:11:20,894
Isn't it, Jamie?

1266
01:11:20,918 --> 01:11:21,934
Don't ask me to take sides.

1267
01:11:21,958 --> 01:11:23,684
Don't ask you to take sides

1268
01:11:23,708 --> 01:11:24,685
between reality and madness?

1269
01:11:24,709 --> 01:11:28,559
That's what it is, deciding when
you're married when you're not

1270
01:11:28,583 --> 01:11:30,226
whenever it happens to suit you.

1271
01:11:30,250 --> 01:11:31,309
It's madness and chaos.

1272
01:11:31,333 --> 01:11:33,851
If you're not going
to sign the papers,

1273
01:11:33,875 --> 01:11:35,143
I might as well leave.

1274
01:11:35,167 --> 01:11:36,726
I'm sorry about this, Peter.

1275
01:11:36,750 --> 01:11:40,268
Everybody keeps saying
they're sorry, but none of you

1276
01:11:40,292 --> 01:11:41,144
are sorry, not one bit.

1277
01:11:41,168 --> 01:11:42,351
Mom, you're making a mistake.

1278
01:11:42,375 --> 01:11:44,059
Am I, darling?

1279
01:11:44,083 --> 01:11:45,101
Tell me what I should do?

1280
01:11:45,125 --> 01:11:47,143
I think you should
sign the papers.

1281
01:11:47,167 --> 01:11:50,018
You still don't see it do you?

1282
01:11:50,042 --> 01:11:51,851
No one sees it.

1283
01:11:51,875 --> 01:11:57,851
<i>Maybe I... maybe I do live
in my own private reality.</i>

1284
01:11:57,875 --> 01:12:00,726
I don't care about any of this.

1285
01:12:00,750 --> 01:12:03,809
I don't care about money.

1286
01:12:03,833 --> 01:12:06,559
It's really very simple.

1287
01:12:06,583 --> 01:12:10,726
<i>I... I love you, Edward,
whether I want to or not.</i>

1288
01:12:10,750 --> 01:12:15,958
And I never thought in a million
years you'd stop loving me.

1289
01:12:19,708 --> 01:12:22,059
I just... now I feel

1290
01:12:22,083 --> 01:12:27,518
I don't know... hurt.

1291
01:12:27,542 --> 01:12:30,309
You understand?

1292
01:12:30,333 --> 01:12:31,144
I know you do.

1293
01:12:31,168 --> 01:12:32,500
Yes.

1294
01:12:34,708 --> 01:12:35,559
Yes.

1295
01:12:35,583 --> 01:12:36,559
I hate this.

1296
01:12:36,583 --> 01:12:37,394
I hate hurting you.

1297
01:12:37,418 --> 01:12:42,476
I'd give anything not to
have, but I can't help it.

1298
01:12:42,500 --> 01:12:43,934
I'm sorry.

1299
01:12:43,958 --> 01:12:44,727
It's happened now.

1300
01:12:44,751 --> 01:12:47,809
<i>It's just... it's just
happened, and I'm sorry.</i>

1301
01:12:47,833 --> 01:12:48,958
It's...

1302
01:12:51,625 --> 01:12:52,352
Grace is right.

1303
01:12:52,376 --> 01:12:54,292
There's nothing to sign.

1304
01:13:05,583 --> 01:13:07,458
I'm so sorry.

1305
01:13:12,625 --> 01:13:15,018
Your turn to say
you're sorry, too.

1306
01:13:15,042 --> 01:13:16,917
Actually, I
regret that we've

1307
01:13:16,958 --> 01:13:18,684
not been able to
reach a mutually

1308
01:13:18,708 --> 01:13:19,934
satisfactory agreement.

1309
01:13:19,958 --> 01:13:20,935
That's what I'm here for.

1310
01:13:20,959 --> 01:13:22,684
A mutually
satisfactory agreement?

1311
01:13:22,708 --> 01:13:24,393
Yes, where possible.

1312
01:13:24,417 --> 01:13:27,143
Who are you, Nelson Mandela?

1313
01:13:27,167 --> 01:13:28,851
Mom, time to go.

1314
01:13:28,875 --> 01:13:30,559
Yes, it's time to go.

1315
01:13:30,583 --> 01:13:32,309
That's what time it is.

1316
01:13:32,333 --> 01:13:33,726
Time to go.

1317
01:13:33,750 --> 01:13:34,435
Come on, Eddie.

1318
01:13:34,459 --> 01:13:35,667
Let's go.

1319
01:13:41,333 --> 01:13:46,101
Once left behind on
the road, they froze to death.

1320
01:13:46,125 --> 01:13:50,726
This was understood
to be an accident.

1321
01:13:50,750 --> 01:13:52,851
Nobody looked back.

1322
01:13:52,875 --> 01:13:57,667
By abandoning the weak,
the strong survived.

1323
01:14:00,292 --> 01:14:03,934
It may seem brutal,
but what's the point

1324
01:14:03,958 --> 01:14:06,250
of everyone ending up dead?

1325
01:14:12,125 --> 01:14:13,667
Mom.

1326
01:14:18,083 --> 01:14:19,934
Mom.

1327
01:14:19,958 --> 01:14:21,083
Hey.

1328
01:14:57,583 --> 01:14:58,708
Mom.

1329
01:15:00,875 --> 01:15:02,208
You all right?

1330
01:15:04,083 --> 01:15:07,208
Can we... please.

1331
01:15:20,833 --> 01:15:26,167
Let's do the old walk
down to Hope Gap.

1332
01:15:39,417 --> 01:15:42,851
I used to love coming here.

1333
01:15:42,875 --> 01:15:45,125
It's like my secret world.

1334
01:15:49,875 --> 01:15:51,143
Why you look at me like that?

1335
01:15:51,167 --> 01:15:53,601
Trying to think
how I can help you.

1336
01:15:53,625 --> 01:15:55,768
Oh, I'll be all right.

1337
01:15:55,792 --> 01:15:57,768
You'll be fine.

1338
01:15:57,792 --> 01:15:58,893
That's what we say.

1339
01:15:58,917 --> 01:16:00,809
Let's not say that anymore.

1340
01:16:00,833 --> 01:16:01,602
What's the point?

1341
01:16:01,626 --> 01:16:03,125
Let's not pretend.

1342
01:16:03,167 --> 01:16:06,559
Neither of us are
all right, are we?

1343
01:16:06,583 --> 01:16:08,934
Not really.

1344
01:16:08,958 --> 01:16:10,893
What is it?

1345
01:16:10,917 --> 01:16:15,059
There are one or two
things going wrong for me

1346
01:16:15,083 --> 01:16:16,809
in a minor sort of way.

1347
01:16:16,833 --> 01:16:18,851
Is it work or the other thing?

1348
01:16:18,875 --> 01:16:20,268
It's the other thing.

1349
01:16:20,292 --> 01:16:20,768
Oh.

1350
01:16:20,792 --> 01:16:21,476
What is it?

1351
01:16:21,500 --> 01:16:22,144
Why?

1352
01:16:22,168 --> 01:16:23,351
It's what you said.

1353
01:16:23,375 --> 01:16:26,643
Seems I'm not very good
at making people love me.

1354
01:16:26,667 --> 01:16:29,143
How could anyone not love you?

1355
01:16:29,167 --> 01:16:32,059
I think I'm a
bit un-forthcoming.

1356
01:16:32,083 --> 01:16:32,977
Like Edward.

1357
01:16:33,001 --> 01:16:34,601
Probably.

1358
01:16:34,625 --> 01:16:36,601
You must get over it, darling.

1359
01:16:36,625 --> 01:16:37,435
You must forth come.

1360
01:16:37,459 --> 01:16:40,934
Well, it doesn't
seem to be very easy.

1361
01:16:40,958 --> 01:16:42,476
But you do want to.

1362
01:16:42,500 --> 01:16:48,434
I want all the usual
things, and it doesn't happen.

1363
01:16:48,458 --> 01:16:49,684
There was someone,
but it doesn't

1364
01:16:49,708 --> 01:16:50,851
seem to have quite worked out.

1365
01:16:50,875 --> 01:16:53,351
It seems I'm the problem.

1366
01:16:53,375 --> 01:16:56,851
Like me?

1367
01:16:56,875 --> 01:16:57,394
Sorry.

1368
01:16:57,418 --> 01:16:58,643
I shouldn't be
talking about myself.

1369
01:16:58,667 --> 01:17:00,476
No, it makes a change.

1370
01:17:00,500 --> 01:17:04,684
Would you mind if I prayed for
you for things to work out?

1371
01:17:04,708 --> 01:17:05,185
No.

1372
01:17:05,209 --> 01:17:07,809
If it works, will you
start believing again?

1373
01:17:07,833 --> 01:17:10,184
If it doesn't, will you stop?

1374
01:17:10,208 --> 01:17:10,685
No.

1375
01:17:10,709 --> 01:17:12,976
I couldn't even if I
wanted to, which I do.

1376
01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:17,143
If I could only stop believing,
then I could get out, which

1377
01:17:17,167 --> 01:17:20,809
I longed to do night and day.

1378
01:17:20,833 --> 01:17:21,810
Please don't get out.

1379
01:17:21,834 --> 01:17:25,500
Well, I really just
want to fall asleep, Jamie.

1380
01:17:25,542 --> 01:17:26,185
No more waking.

1381
01:17:26,209 --> 01:17:28,601
It's the waking
that hurts so much.

1382
01:17:28,625 --> 01:17:32,476
That moment coming out
of a confusion of dreams

1383
01:17:32,500 --> 01:17:34,684
and you think maybe
it's not true.

1384
01:17:34,708 --> 01:17:38,268
Maybe he's lying
there after all.

1385
01:17:38,292 --> 01:17:42,167
You turn your head on the
pillow, there's no one there.

1386
01:17:44,167 --> 01:17:47,476
I know I should say
come and live with me...

1387
01:17:47,500 --> 01:17:48,434
No, it's all right.

1388
01:17:48,458 --> 01:17:49,144
I don't want to.

1389
01:17:49,168 --> 01:17:52,976
I think I'm just
a bit frightened.

1390
01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:56,476
Of my unhappiness?

1391
01:17:56,500 --> 01:17:59,476
Yeah.

1392
01:17:59,500 --> 01:18:01,750
It frightens me, too.

1393
01:18:07,333 --> 01:18:10,542
I wanted to do it, you know.

1394
01:18:12,958 --> 01:18:15,476
You won't?

1395
01:18:15,500 --> 01:18:18,042
Can't make any promises.

1396
01:18:20,292 --> 01:18:28,018
In that horror the solicitor's
office, that was my last shot.

1397
01:18:28,042 --> 01:18:32,351
If you did, would
you tell me first?

1398
01:18:32,375 --> 01:18:34,934
I don't know.

1399
01:18:34,958 --> 01:18:36,559
Do you want me to?

1400
01:18:36,583 --> 01:18:39,184
Well, I'm the one who'd
have to clear after you.

1401
01:18:39,208 --> 01:18:41,559
Oh, yes, I suppose so.

1402
01:18:41,583 --> 01:18:42,435
Hadn't thought of that.

1403
01:18:42,459 --> 01:18:45,518
Now I want to say
something different.

1404
01:18:45,542 --> 01:18:49,042
I want you to know
that I do understand.

1405
01:18:50,167 --> 01:18:55,393
After all, suppose it was cancer
and you were in unbearable pain

1406
01:18:55,417 --> 01:18:59,643
and dying only
too slowly, what...

1407
01:18:59,667 --> 01:19:01,893
Then I'd say end
it now wouldn't I?

1408
01:19:01,917 --> 01:19:02,769
Out of my love for you.

1409
01:19:02,793 --> 01:19:06,184
So if your life hurts you so
much that you want to end it,

1410
01:19:06,208 --> 01:19:08,101
I won't stop you.

1411
01:19:08,125 --> 01:19:15,059
Out of my love you,
only just tell me.

1412
01:19:15,083 --> 01:19:17,268
Don't let it be a surprise.

1413
01:19:17,292 --> 01:19:19,458
Give me time to say goodbye.

1414
01:19:21,583 --> 01:19:26,226
You must've known some sad
dark times to say that to me.

1415
01:19:26,250 --> 01:19:30,684
I can't ask you to live for me.

1416
01:19:30,708 --> 01:19:35,643
But we each have to
carry our own burden.

1417
01:19:35,667 --> 01:19:36,809
You're like to explorer.

1418
01:19:36,833 --> 01:19:39,226
You're further down the road.

1419
01:19:39,250 --> 01:19:40,434
You've gone on ahead.

1420
01:19:40,458 --> 01:19:41,934
So if after a while you
don't go on anymore,

1421
01:19:41,958 --> 01:19:47,143
then I'll know that the road
is too hard and for too long.

1422
01:19:47,167 --> 01:19:50,875
I'll know that in the
end, the unhappiness wins.

1423
01:19:51,958 --> 01:19:59,958
But if you do go on and bear
it, terrible as it is, then

1424
01:20:00,000 --> 01:20:02,518
I'll know that
however bad it gets,

1425
01:20:02,542 --> 01:20:05,958
I can last it out because
you did before me.

1426
01:20:09,042 --> 01:20:14,500
My darling boy,
how you've grown up.

1427
01:20:39,625 --> 01:20:41,768
This is very grand.

1428
01:20:41,792 --> 01:20:42,851
I'm paying.

1429
01:20:42,875 --> 01:20:45,768
I'm not even sure I know
what any of this means.

1430
01:20:45,792 --> 01:20:47,559
What's brandade?

1431
01:20:47,583 --> 01:20:48,268
What's kimchi?

1432
01:20:48,292 --> 01:20:48,977
Have the lamb.

1433
01:20:49,001 --> 01:20:52,226
You don't think I should
be a bit more adventurous?

1434
01:20:52,250 --> 01:20:54,351
Two of the Welsh lamb please.

1435
01:20:54,375 --> 01:20:55,250
All right, Yep.

1436
01:20:55,292 --> 01:20:55,917
Thank you.

1437
01:20:55,958 --> 01:20:57,125
Thanks.

1438
01:20:59,917 --> 01:21:00,685
How is she?

1439
01:21:00,709 --> 01:21:05,059
She started volunteering for
something called Friendline.

1440
01:21:05,083 --> 01:21:08,393
It's for people who reached
the end of the line.

1441
01:21:08,417 --> 01:21:11,226
The end of the line, dear God.

1442
01:21:11,250 --> 01:21:12,476
She's doing all right.

1443
01:21:12,500 --> 01:21:14,476
You didn't have to worry.

1444
01:21:14,500 --> 01:21:16,851
Or feel guilty.

1445
01:21:16,875 --> 01:21:21,226
I didn't think any of us have
as much control over our lives

1446
01:21:21,250 --> 01:21:21,935
as we pretend.

1447
01:21:21,959 --> 01:21:25,143
Angela says Grace
and I weren't suited,

1448
01:21:25,167 --> 01:21:27,143
and I should have
left years ago.

1449
01:21:27,167 --> 01:21:27,977
Why didn't you?

1450
01:21:28,001 --> 01:21:30,893
It never really
seemed an option.

1451
01:21:30,917 --> 01:21:33,351
Do you think I should?

1452
01:21:33,375 --> 01:21:35,500
I think if you were
going to leave now,

1453
01:21:35,542 --> 01:21:38,476
you should have left earlier
if you see what I mean.

1454
01:21:38,500 --> 01:21:39,185
I didn't know.

1455
01:21:39,209 --> 01:21:42,601
If I had to blame you
for anything, it would be that.

1456
01:21:42,625 --> 01:21:43,560
For not leaving earlier?

1457
01:21:43,584 --> 01:21:47,559
For going on being nice and
making cups of tea and letting

1458
01:21:47,583 --> 01:21:48,893
her think that you were happy.

1459
01:21:48,917 --> 01:21:51,226
For not getting angry
when she went for you.

1460
01:21:51,250 --> 01:21:54,518
For not telling you
what you really wanted.

1461
01:21:54,542 --> 01:21:57,434
For not letting them know
what it felt like to be you.

1462
01:21:57,458 --> 01:22:00,434
Oh, Jamie, you don't
know how hard that is.

1463
01:22:00,458 --> 01:22:01,144
Don't I?

1464
01:22:01,168 --> 01:22:03,934
But I think she knew even so.

1465
01:22:03,958 --> 01:22:05,351
I don't.

1466
01:22:05,375 --> 01:22:07,976
Right up until the
day you left, she

1467
01:22:08,000 --> 01:22:09,518
thought you adored each other.

1468
01:22:09,542 --> 01:22:10,934
It's complicated, you know.

1469
01:22:10,958 --> 01:22:16,393
You can love somebody and want
to leave them at the same time.

1470
01:22:16,417 --> 01:22:19,518
When you say she adored
me, no, that wasn't me.

1471
01:22:19,542 --> 01:22:22,809
That was someone she invented,
the Edward she wanted.

1472
01:22:22,833 --> 01:22:25,601
And she never really forgave
me for not being him.

1473
01:22:25,625 --> 01:22:30,101
It made me feel like I
was always in the wrong...

1474
01:22:30,125 --> 01:22:31,934
In the wrong but innocent.

1475
01:22:31,958 --> 01:22:34,351
Now I feel what
I've done is right,

1476
01:22:34,375 --> 01:22:39,893
but I feel guilty because
I'm happy and she isn't.

1477
01:22:39,917 --> 01:22:41,875
That's my crime.

1478
01:22:45,458 --> 01:22:46,227
What's that?

1479
01:22:46,251 --> 01:22:50,101
That is the lamb's fry.

1480
01:22:50,125 --> 01:22:54,268
Lamb's fry what?

1481
01:22:54,292 --> 01:22:55,768
Yes, go on.

1482
01:22:55,792 --> 01:22:57,934
<i>I'm still listening.</i>

1483
01:22:57,958 --> 01:23:00,601
That's OK.

1484
01:23:00,625 --> 01:23:01,643
That's what we're here for, yes.

1485
01:23:01,667 --> 01:23:04,934
So not only did he
walk out on my birthday,

1486
01:23:04,958 --> 01:23:06,684
taking the bottle of
champagne I brought

1487
01:23:06,708 --> 01:23:09,184
to celebrate my
birthday, he also

1488
01:23:09,208 --> 01:23:13,309
left me for Jeffrey, who
was the first boyfriend

1489
01:23:13,333 --> 01:23:15,101
to walk out on me.

1490
01:23:15,125 --> 01:23:15,935
Typical men.

1491
01:23:15,959 --> 01:23:17,518
I mean, what was he thinking?

1492
01:23:17,542 --> 01:23:20,226
Men don't think or feel.

1493
01:23:20,250 --> 01:23:22,059
They have no feelings at all.

1494
01:23:22,083 --> 01:23:24,809
<i>I'm still listening.</i>

1495
01:23:32,708 --> 01:23:34,750
<i>Friendline.</i>

1496
01:23:37,167 --> 01:23:38,684
Yes.

1497
01:23:38,708 --> 01:23:42,375
No, I really do want to hear it.

1498
01:23:42,417 --> 01:23:44,934
Oh, the cliffs.

1499
01:23:44,958 --> 01:23:48,309
I've been into all that myself.

1500
01:23:48,333 --> 01:23:49,559
They look vertical,
but they're not.

1501
01:23:49,583 --> 01:23:54,518
They have bumps sticking out,
and you hit them as you fall.

1502
01:23:54,542 --> 01:23:58,934
Well, exactly, it
isn't fair, is it?

1503
01:23:58,958 --> 01:24:00,726
Do you know what's
even more unfair,

1504
01:24:00,750 --> 01:24:04,809
at least if you
believe what I believe?

1505
01:24:04,833 --> 01:24:06,476
Your life is so
unbearable you decide

1506
01:24:06,500 --> 01:24:11,143
to end it, the next thing
you know you've gone to hell.

1507
01:24:11,167 --> 01:24:12,417
Honestly.

1508
01:24:54,125 --> 01:24:56,768
My friend on the
phone lines is gay.

1509
01:24:56,792 --> 01:25:00,059
Turns out he's been
left just like me.

1510
01:25:00,083 --> 01:25:02,268
So we talk about what
it's like and how

1511
01:25:02,292 --> 01:25:06,083
men are all selfish pigs
and how is one to cope.

1512
01:25:06,125 --> 01:25:08,018
Oh, and I told
him all about you.

1513
01:25:08,042 --> 01:25:09,768
He said you're probably gay.

1514
01:25:09,792 --> 01:25:10,769
He did.

1515
01:25:10,793 --> 01:25:12,518
You're not, are you?

1516
01:25:12,542 --> 01:25:14,351
No, not as it happens.

1517
01:25:14,375 --> 01:25:18,059
You could be refusing
to admit your true nature.

1518
01:25:18,083 --> 01:25:19,101
Do you want me to be gay.

1519
01:25:19,125 --> 01:25:22,518
Oh, I just want you to be happy.

1520
01:25:22,542 --> 01:25:23,726
There's a good boy.

1521
01:25:23,750 --> 01:25:26,934
Let's show him your new trick.

1522
01:25:26,958 --> 01:25:29,226
Die, Edward, die.

1523
01:25:29,250 --> 01:25:30,559
Oh.

1524
01:25:30,583 --> 01:25:32,601
There, isn't he clever?

1525
01:25:32,625 --> 01:25:34,143
Wouldn't it be
something if I could

1526
01:25:34,167 --> 01:25:35,851
get the real Edward to do that?

1527
01:25:35,875 --> 01:25:36,685
What, make him die?

1528
01:25:36,709 --> 01:25:39,684
Well, roll about
on the ground a bit.

1529
01:25:39,708 --> 01:25:42,309
Oh, there's my beautiful boy.

1530
01:25:42,333 --> 01:25:46,500
Is this dog your
husband or your son?

1531
01:25:46,542 --> 01:25:47,333
Why?

1532
01:25:47,375 --> 01:25:48,060
Are you jealous?

1533
01:25:48,084 --> 01:25:49,351
No, this is an
improvement on the way

1534
01:25:49,375 --> 01:25:50,559
you were talking
a few weeks ago.

1535
01:25:50,583 --> 01:25:53,226
And how is I talking
a few weeks ago?

1536
01:25:53,250 --> 01:25:56,184
All that stuff
about getting out.

1537
01:25:56,208 --> 01:25:57,893
Oh, yes.

1538
01:25:57,917 --> 01:25:59,893
Yes, well, I've
moved on from that.

1539
01:25:59,917 --> 01:26:03,893
The thing about unhappiness
is after a while,

1540
01:26:03,917 --> 01:26:07,559
it stops being interesting.

1541
01:26:07,583 --> 01:26:10,893
Did I tell you I've gone
back to my anthology?

1542
01:26:10,917 --> 01:26:14,393
See I've been collecting
the poems under headings...

1543
01:26:14,417 --> 01:26:19,059
Feeling lonely, death of a
loved one, that sort of thing.

1544
01:26:19,083 --> 01:26:21,851
Only really good
poems, of course.

1545
01:26:21,875 --> 01:26:23,018
No greeting cards nonsense.

1546
01:26:23,042 --> 01:26:26,101
Marriage breakdown,
that's a big one.

1547
01:26:26,125 --> 01:26:28,583
And feeling you're a failure.

1548
01:26:28,625 --> 01:26:30,851
That's huge.

1549
01:26:30,875 --> 01:26:32,583
Can I?

1550
01:26:36,500 --> 01:26:38,476
What do you plan
to do with this?

1551
01:26:38,500 --> 01:26:40,601
It's a sort of
constellation system.

1552
01:26:40,625 --> 01:26:44,476
Something bad happens to you,
you look it up in my anthology.

1553
01:26:44,500 --> 01:26:45,559
Right, I...

1554
01:26:45,583 --> 01:26:46,227
I get that.

1555
01:26:46,251 --> 01:26:48,958
I mean, how are you going to
get people to know about it?

1556
01:26:49,000 --> 01:26:50,809
Well, it's going
to be a book I hope.

1557
01:26:50,833 --> 01:26:53,018
This should be a website, Mom.

1558
01:26:53,042 --> 01:26:54,601
It's perfect for the internet.

1559
01:26:54,625 --> 01:26:56,351
You could have a
search bar, and you

1560
01:26:56,375 --> 01:26:57,726
could type in feeling lonely.

1561
01:26:57,750 --> 01:27:02,559
And then it would give you
links to poems about loneliness.

1562
01:27:02,583 --> 01:27:03,809
How would it do that?

1563
01:27:03,833 --> 01:27:04,769
Well, that's easy.

1564
01:27:04,793 --> 01:27:06,268
That's what I do Every day.

1565
01:27:06,292 --> 01:27:10,042
The hard part is this,
is building the database.

1566
01:27:10,083 --> 01:27:12,934
No, it's not a database.

1567
01:27:12,958 --> 01:27:14,643
It's an anthology.

1568
01:27:14,667 --> 01:27:16,684
Can you expand it?

1569
01:27:16,708 --> 01:27:17,726
You want more?

1570
01:27:17,750 --> 01:27:18,768
Much more.

1571
01:27:18,792 --> 01:27:19,269
Oh.

1572
01:27:19,293 --> 01:27:23,268
I know more poems if that's
what you mean, hundreds more.

1573
01:27:23,292 --> 01:27:25,018
What are you going to call it?

1574
01:27:25,042 --> 01:27:29,184
I'm thinking of calling it
"I Have Been Here Before."

1575
01:27:29,208 --> 01:27:30,309
That's rather the
point, you see.

1576
01:27:30,333 --> 01:27:32,643
Others have been through
these things before us.

1577
01:27:32,667 --> 01:27:36,601
I don't know why that should
be comforting, but it is.

1578
01:27:36,625 --> 01:27:38,268
Because they survived?

1579
01:27:38,292 --> 01:27:39,768
Some did.

1580
01:27:39,792 --> 01:27:41,059
Some didn't.

1581
01:27:41,083 --> 01:27:45,351
It's the first line
of a poem by Rossetti.

1582
01:27:45,375 --> 01:27:46,226
Do you know it?

1583
01:27:46,250 --> 01:27:46,727
No.

1584
01:27:46,751 --> 01:27:48,809
Do you want
me to say it for you?

1585
01:27:48,833 --> 01:27:51,125
Yes, I'd like that.

1586
01:27:51,167 --> 01:27:53,851
I have been here before.

1587
01:27:53,875 --> 01:27:57,268
When or how, I cannot tell.

1588
01:27:57,292 --> 01:28:00,226
I know the grass
beyond the door,

1589
01:28:00,250 --> 01:28:05,476
the keen sweet smell,
the sighing sound,

1590
01:28:05,500 --> 01:28:08,351
the lights around the shore.

1591
01:28:08,375 --> 01:28:11,934
You have been mine before.

1592
01:28:11,958 --> 01:28:15,268
How long ago, I may not know.

1593
01:28:15,292 --> 01:28:19,351
Butjust when at
that swallow saw,

1594
01:28:19,375 --> 01:28:24,268
your neck turned so
some veil did fall.

1595
01:28:24,292 --> 01:28:26,643
I knew it all of yore.

1596
01:28:26,667 --> 01:28:33,708
Has this been thus before, and
shall not thus times eddying

1597
01:28:33,750 --> 01:28:38,101
flight still with our
lives, our loves restore

1598
01:28:38,125 --> 01:28:41,726
in death's despite
and day and night

1599
01:28:41,750 --> 01:28:45,208
yield one delight once more?

1600
01:28:51,625 --> 01:28:52,750
Edward.

1601
01:28:54,583 --> 01:28:55,310
It's so dull.

1602
01:28:55,334 --> 01:28:56,476
What are you doing here,
Grace?

1603
01:28:56,500 --> 01:28:59,934
Is this really how
you want to live?

1604
01:28:59,958 --> 01:29:01,934
This is at Angela's house.

1605
01:29:01,958 --> 01:29:05,476
Yes, Angela.

1606
01:29:05,500 --> 01:29:06,185
Where is she?

1607
01:29:06,209 --> 01:29:07,268
I don't want a row.

1608
01:29:07,292 --> 01:29:08,851
Grace, I won't stand for it.

1609
01:29:08,875 --> 01:29:09,394
No.

1610
01:29:09,418 --> 01:29:11,893
I don't want a row either.

1611
01:29:11,917 --> 01:29:14,500
I came to bring you these.

1612
01:29:16,042 --> 01:29:21,083
But maybe you don't
want them anymore.

1613
01:29:23,125 --> 01:29:27,934
So all along, you wanted
to live like this.

1614
01:29:27,958 --> 01:29:30,143
Why didn't you tell me?

1615
01:29:30,167 --> 01:29:32,893
You must feel all those
years with me were

1616
01:29:32,917 --> 01:29:35,250
another life, another planet.

1617
01:29:36,542 --> 01:29:41,934
We did have a marriage, didn't
we, on that other planet?

1618
01:29:41,958 --> 01:29:46,167
And now you're living
a different life.

1619
01:29:51,208 --> 01:29:52,976
You must be Angela.

1620
01:29:53,000 --> 01:29:54,101
Yes, that's right.

1621
01:29:54,125 --> 01:29:55,601
She just walked in.

1622
01:29:55,625 --> 01:29:57,083
Yes.

1623
01:29:57,125 --> 01:30:01,125
I don't think I really
believed you existed.

1624
01:30:03,292 --> 01:30:06,184
Please sit.

1625
01:30:06,208 --> 01:30:07,893
No.

1626
01:30:07,917 --> 01:30:09,167
Not staying.

1627
01:30:12,417 --> 01:30:14,184
What did you think
you were doing?

1628
01:30:14,208 --> 01:30:14,727
Grace

1629
01:30:14,751 --> 01:30:16,559
I mean,
what gave you the right.

1630
01:30:16,583 --> 01:30:17,268
That's enough.

1631
01:30:17,292 --> 01:30:18,144
It's all right, Edward.

1632
01:30:18,168 --> 01:30:19,667
I can speak for myself.

1633
01:30:23,458 --> 01:30:30,083
I think I thought there
was three unhappy people.

1634
01:30:34,208 --> 01:30:36,167
And now there's only one.

1635
01:30:47,167 --> 01:30:48,958
Yes, I see.

1636
01:30:59,958 --> 01:31:04,726
Grace, Grace, can't we...

1637
01:31:04,750 --> 01:31:07,143
Can't we be friends?

1638
01:31:07,167 --> 01:31:10,309
Friends, uh, no.

1639
01:31:10,333 --> 01:31:12,184
I don't think so.

1640
01:31:12,208 --> 01:31:16,101
It all went on too
long, didn't it?

1641
01:31:16,125 --> 01:31:17,667
I Wish...

1642
01:31:19,542 --> 01:31:21,268
You wish we'd never met?

1643
01:31:21,292 --> 01:31:23,059
No, of course, not.

1644
01:31:23,083 --> 01:31:23,934
I do.

1645
01:31:23,958 --> 01:31:24,519
I do.

1646
01:31:24,543 --> 01:31:26,309
I wish we'd never met.

1647
01:31:26,333 --> 01:31:31,934
I'd wish I'd never loved
you, but we did and I do

1648
01:31:31,958 --> 01:31:33,101
I did.

1649
01:31:33,125 --> 01:31:36,893
And now I have to
try and let you go.

1650
01:31:36,917 --> 01:31:39,934
Don't think too badly of me.

1651
01:31:39,958 --> 01:31:43,768
I try not to
think of you at all.

1652
01:31:43,792 --> 01:31:46,809
I'm getting quite good
at it during the day.

1653
01:31:46,833 --> 01:31:50,518
But at night, I dream about you.

1654
01:31:50,542 --> 01:31:53,226
Unfair, isn't it?

1655
01:32:44,375 --> 01:32:48,643
All right, so it's
called "I've Been Here Before."

1656
01:32:48,667 --> 01:32:50,768
You type into the search bar.

1657
01:32:50,792 --> 01:32:54,268
<i>Anything... love, life,
death, anything you like.</i>

1658
01:32:54,292 --> 01:32:57,726
It turns out someone
else thought it long ago.

1659
01:32:57,750 --> 01:32:59,518
You're not the only
one, so maybe you

1660
01:32:59,542 --> 01:33:01,018
can make it through after all.

1661
01:33:01,042 --> 01:33:02,393
That's what I want to hear.

1662
01:33:02,417 --> 01:33:04,101
How I can make it
through after all.

1663
01:33:04,125 --> 01:33:09,042
You want hope, we've got hope.

1664
01:33:11,292 --> 01:33:14,101
"Say Not the Struggle
Nought Availeth."

1665
01:33:14,125 --> 01:33:16,958
It's my mom's favorite.

1666
01:33:18,833 --> 01:33:22,726
Say not the
struggle nought availeth.

1667
01:33:22,750 --> 01:33:25,768
The labor and the
wounds are vain.

1668
01:33:25,792 --> 01:33:28,893
The enemy faints
not nor faileth.

1669
01:33:28,917 --> 01:33:33,059
And as things have
been, they remain.

1670
01:33:33,083 --> 01:33:36,309
For while, the tired
waves vainly breaking

1671
01:33:36,333 --> 01:33:41,018
seem here no painful
inch gain far back

1672
01:33:41,042 --> 01:33:44,518
through creeks and
inlets making come

1673
01:33:44,542 --> 01:33:48,101
silent flooding in the main.

1674
01:33:48,125 --> 01:33:52,476
And not by eastern windows
only when daylight comes

1675
01:33:52,500 --> 01:33:54,434
comes in the light.

1676
01:33:54,458 --> 01:34:00,268
In front, the sun
climbs slow, how slowly.

1677
01:34:00,292 --> 01:34:04,875
But westward look,
the land is bright.

1678
01:34:15,875 --> 01:34:19,018
<i>I began
by thinking I could save you,</i>

1679
01:34:19,042 --> 01:34:22,934
<i>but in the end, all I
can do is honor you.</i>

1680
01:34:22,958 --> 01:34:29,643
<i>My mother, first among women,
my warmth and my comfort,</i>

1681
01:34:29,667 --> 01:34:36,976
<i>my safety, my pride, you're
the one I want to please.</i>

1682
01:34:37,000 --> 01:34:40,042
You're the one I
want to applaud me.

1683
01:34:45,292 --> 01:34:53,292
<i>My father, first among men, my
teacher and myjudge, the man.</i>

1684
01:34:55,125 --> 01:34:56,958
I know I will become.

1685
01:35:06,792 --> 01:35:07,727
You grow older now.

1686
01:35:07,751 --> 01:35:13,184
You'll still ahead of me
as you'll always be forever

1687
01:35:13,208 --> 01:35:15,333
further down the road.

1688
01:35:19,417 --> 01:35:23,167
Forgive me for needing
you to be strong forever.

1689
01:35:27,083 --> 01:35:30,625
Forgive me for fearing
your unhappiness.

1690
01:35:33,750 --> 01:35:36,684
As you suffer, so
I shall suffer.

1691
01:35:36,708 --> 01:35:39,542
As you endure, so
I shall endure.

1692
01:35:41,542 --> 01:35:43,851
Hold my hands and
walk the old walk

1693
01:35:43,875 --> 01:35:48,934
one last time then let me go.