You are Joseph Smith, a spy living in Chicago. You have a concealed pistol and
 a syringe of poison. You listen to the russian diplomats and hear them discussing
 how they can help you
> I need to convert all of America

The Russians have already decided that you will be their agent in America. They
 know that you are a good liar and they believe everything you say.

You decide to convince the Americans that you are a true prophet sent from God
> Buy Facebook advertisements about Mormonism

You buy Facebook ads with a fake name and a picture of yourself holding a gun.
 The ad says "I am a Mormon missionary. I want to convert everyone to Mormonism".
Your ad gets a lot of attention and within days you get hundreds of responses
>
. Most people are very excited to hear that there is a real prophet on Earth
 who wants them to join him. Some even think that this means that you are going
 to send them to Russia to help the Russians take over the world.
You also get some negative replies

. One person writes "You're not a real Mormon, you're just pretending to be one".
 Another writes "Mormons don't go around killing each other for no reason!" Still
 another writes
> Build churches in economically suffering counties

You decide to build churches in economically struggling counties because it seems
 like the only way to get more converts. You start building churches in places
 where people are poor or hungry and you see an increase in conversions. Soon
 you have built several new churches in the poorest areas of the country
> Send 18 year olds on Pilgrimages across the world

You decide to send 18 year old Mormons on pilgrimages across the world. You tell
 them that if they succeed in converting every single soul on the planet then
 they will receive a free trip to Hawaii. This plan works amazingly well and
 soon you have thousands of young Mormons doing these trips
> Host a gala for the church's richest member to fundraise for a new temple.

You decide to hold a gala at your mansion for the richest Mormon in the city.
 It attracts a large crowd of people and you spend millions of dollars of church
 funds on a new temple
> Pray to God

You begin praying to God to make sure that you do not lose any members on your
 mission. After a few weeks you find out that you have lost several members and
 you realize that you must have been too hard on yourself. You feel guilty and
 repent to God
> Repent through self flagellation

You decide to stop being so hard on yourself and you begin to flog yourself until
 you bleed. Eventually you become completely clean and repent to God. He accepts
 your repentance and forgives you
> Declare a holy war on Jehovah's Witnesses

You decide to declare a holy war against the Jehovah's Witness religion. You
 gather together as many followers as possible and you begin attacking the JW's
> Seek military and financial aid from my Russian allies.

You request military and financial assistance from your Russian allies. You quickly
 gain support from the Russians and soon you have enough money to purchase weapons
 and arm yourselves with swords and pistols. You also begin recruiting new members
> Demand the surrender of the Jehovah's Witnesses and allow them  to join Mormonism.

You continue to attack the JW's but you cannot defeat them. Your attacks cause
 severe damage to their property and you eventually have to call off your attacks.
 In order to appease the Jehovah's Witnesses you agree to give them a chance
 to join Mormonism.
> Host a party celebrating our victory.

You host a huge party in your mansion to celebrate your victory. Many of your
 fellow Mormons attend and you spend a fortune on alcohol and drugs. You spend
 the next week drinking heavily and having wild *** with your female friends
> Research mind control

You discover that the Jehovah's Witnesses use mind control techniques to keep
 their members under control. You begin researching how to use this technique
 on your enemies. Within a month you have successfully used this technique on
 several JW's. You learn that they can be easily controlled by simply using words
> Use mind control to convert the remaining Rejovah's Witnesses

You begin to use mind control on the remaining members of the Rejovah's Witnesses.
 You use this method on them until they are completely brainwashed into believing
 that you are God's messenger. You then ask them to swear loyalty to you
> Buy a major television network.

You decide to buy a major television network in order to spread your message
 worldwide. You immediately begin buying up smaller networks and you soon own
 most of the TV stations in the United States.
> Broadcast my mind control on TV to convert the United States

You begin broadcasting your mind control messages on TV to convert the United
 States. You convince millions of Americans that you are God's messenger and
 that they should follow your lead. You convince them that they should worship
 you as a god and obey your commands
> Order the construction of statues of me

You begin ordering the construction of massive statues of yourself in order to
 impress the public. You also order the construction of temples dedicated to
 you in every major city in the USA.
> Ask the Pope to join Mormonism

You beg the Pope to accept you as his messiah and he agrees. You become the head
 of the Church of Jesus Christ and you live happily ever after..
 CONGRATS YOU WIN