74. How To Terrorize McDonalds                               by The Jolly Roger.
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Now, although McDonalds is famous for it's advertising and making the whole world think that the BigMac is the best thing to come along since sliced  bread  (buns?),  each  little  restaurant  is  as  amateur  and  simple  as  a  new-found  business.
Not  only  are  all  the  employees  rather  inexperienced at what they're supposed to do, but they will just loose all control when an emergency occurs... here we go!!!
First, get a few friends (4 is good...I'll get to this later) and enter the McDonalds restaurant, talking loudly and reeking of some strange smell that automatically makes the old couple sitting by the door leave.
If one of those pimply-faced goons is wiping the floor, then track some crap all over it (you could pretend to slip and break your head, but you might actually do so).
Next, before you get the food, find a table.
Start yelling and releasing some strange body odor so anybody would leave their table and walk out the door.
Sit two friends there, and go up to the counter with another.
Find a place where the line is short, or if the line is long say "I only wanna buy a coke." and you get moved up.
Now, you get to do the ordering ...heh heh heh.
Somebody always must want a plain hamburger with absolutely nothing on it (this takes extra time to make, and drives the little hamburger-makers  insane).
Order  a  9-pack of chicken McNuggets...no, a 20 pack...no, three 6 packs...wait...go back to the table and ask who wants what.
Your other friend waits by the counter and makes a pass at the female clerk.
Get back to the thing and order three 6-packs of chicken  etc... now she says "What kind of sauce would you like?".
Of  course,  say  that  you  all  want  barbecue  sauce  one  of  your  friends  wants 2 (only if there are only 2 containers of barbecue sauce left).
Then they hafta go into the storeroom and open up another box.
Finally, the drinks...somebody wants coke, somebody root beer, and somebody diet coke.
After these are delivered, bring them back and say "I didn't order  a  diet  coke!  I  ordered  a  sprite!"  This  gets  them  mad;  better  yet, turn down something terrible that nobody wants to drink, so they hafta throw the drink away; they can't sell it.
After all the food(?) is handed to you, you must never have enough money to pay.
The clerk will be so angry and confused that she'll let you get away with it (another influence on her is your friend asking her "If you let us go, I'll go out with you." and giving her a fake fone number).
Now, back to your table.
But first, somebody likes ketchup and mustard.
And plenty (too much) of napkins.
Oh, and somebody likes forks and knives, so always end up breaking the ones you pick outta the box.
Have your friends yell out, “Yay!!!!! We have  munchies!!"  As  loud  as  they  can.
That'll  worry  the entire restaurant.
Proceed to sit down.
So, you are sitting in the smoking section (by accident) eh? Well, while one of the tobacco-breathers isn't looking, put a sign from the other side of the room saying "Do not smoke here" and he'll hafta move...then he goes into the real non-smoking section, and gets yelled at.
He then thinks that no smoking is allowed in the restaurant, so he eats outside (in the pouring rain).
After your meal is finished (and quite a few splattered-opened ketchup packets are all over your table), try to leave.
But oops! Somebody has to do his duty in the men's room.
As he goes there, he sticks an uneaten hamburger (would you dare to eat  one  of  their  hamburgers?)  Inside  the  toilet,  flushes  it  a  while,  until  it  runs  all  over  the  bathroom.
Oops!  Send  a  pimply-faced teenager to clean  it  up.
(He  won't  know  that  brown  thing  is  a  hamburger,  and  he'll  get  sick. Wheee!).
As  you  leave  the  restaurant,  looking  back  at  your  uncleaned  table,  somebody  must  remember  that  they  left  their  chocolate  shake  there!  The  one  that's  almost  full!!!!  He  takes  it  then  says  "This  tastes like crap!", Then he takes off the lid and throws it into the garbage can...oops! He missed, and now the same poor soul who's cleaning up the bathroom now hasta clean up chocolate shake.
Then leave the joint, reversing the "Yes, we're open" sign (as a reminder of your visit).
There you have it! You have just put all of McDonalds into complete mayhem.
And since there is no penalty for littering in a restaurant, bugging people in a public eatery (or throw-upery, in this case) you get off scot-free.