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  1.  
  2. [–]to crazycycle sent 22 days ago
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  6. Nothing will ever be revealed. Q is a LARP, nothing good has ever happened. Read my story and Cringe Harder.
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  8. I hate my life and want to die.
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  10. No, really. Most of my waking moments are spent in a state like this; like how I post on reddit. In this kind of frothing, seething rage that just barely bubbles over. The main reason for this is because I've actually tried to improve my life; only to get shut down at every turn. Other periods of my extended malady include active and passive hallucinations. (The main one is that whatever I just saw is in my mouth; it's the worst with bugs. I get it whenever I smash one...) This would be manageable if I had control of my environment. (I don't. I live with my batshit, co-dependent Mother and two other siblings. My brother is married to a retarded girl that I can't stand and my sister is trying to use me as a father substitute since our old man is the worst of all people. Regardless of what happens; I will never hate anyone more. And it's not because mother turned me against him; that's just the natural reaction when you shove guns in the faces of your kids.) Old Man caused a lot of the problems I have; but I can't really say the four letters for it. (I find it disrespectful to actual combat veterans to say that. So I just say I'm weak and worthless. Makes more sense; especially with how everyone else seems to have suffered more but made it out.)
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  12. He would shout you down into the floor and flog you with a belt for spilling a drink. (I was a very awkward, lanky boy. I was also extremely accident prone. I have scars on my back from where the lashes were.) He would make claims like that he was the great-great-great grandson of Jesus and the Indians; and that my maternal Grandfather was the incarnation of Satan. He used religion to terrorize us; and would then beat us whenever we prayed for release. He once pulled my arm out of socket when I was four when I tried to run away from a beating. He would give us things; only to make us give them to one of his friend's kids as a show of wealth. (Most petty of the things; but it really works a number on your idea of self worth.) And any mote of noncompliance triggered an apocalyptic response.
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  14. The fucked up thing about this is most of it happened when they were divorced the first time. She remarried the asshole when I was thirteen and that kind of destroyed my idea of making it out of any situation alive. See, here in Alabama; we have a law that says that kids can choose which parent they live with mainly as long as both parents stay in the state and a new custody hearing is made. Trick is; you have to be thirteen to do it. I had spent the time from when I was five to that date counting the years, waiting for that time to come. Yeah it would mean abandoning my brother at the time to stay with old man alone; but I hated him pretty bad at that point. (One of old man's favorite things to laugh at was how Eddie cried when I tried to strangle him. Also, this is eventually what spurred my oath of pacifism.) But as we showed up to his house to collect what was going to be money for my first Band trip in school; she got out of the truck, and kissed him. That's when I knew that I would have always been better off shooting myself than anything else; because there is no way out of hell.
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  16. This is Hell; and it never ends.
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  18. It's also why I know sluts gonna slut. Nothing matters--not even how bad your kids were wrecked by the Alpha--nothing but the dick.
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  20. So for another five years; I lived in hell again. He started his backslide into his old ways slowly; under the guise of 'discipline' to try and get me to 'toughen up'. As soon as I had the opportunity; I moved out of there and in with my Grandparents. I finished out my senior year in Highschool and then worked for about two more before Mother Dearest would come begging me for help. Begging me to move back into hell and help try and evict the old man. (I had told her that I would never come back home until he was gone; forever.) I obliged; since most of my childhood with her was spent in a Mexican standoff. (Me wanting to kill myself; her threatening suicide to follow me so we could 'die together'. Her regaling me with the tale of my birth; how she had to stop her contractions from crushing me when I got stuck because the idiot OB doc rushed through her dialation to make me his first delivery. I wish she'd have just clamped her legs down and crushed me. She could have gone on to do other, better things and I would have been the grease stain I deserve to be.)
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  22. Suffice to say; my presence was enough of a catalyst for Old Man to pull his shit once more, and united we threw him out. (He went really batshit for a while after that; stalking us through his contractor friends, harassing texts, telling my sister that she wasn't his child so he didn't want her to come see him. Now he's just strung out and doing his chicken fighting shit. I know where he is; so I'll be sure to correct that problem before I shove off at least.) Sadly; that didn't fix anything else. The house was still a mess; and because Mother Dearest can't be a bitch to the other siblings and make them clean; everything falls on us, which means me. That was about six years ago; and this bit of background doesn't include all of the other things: My experiment with homosex and gender disgust issues; my foibles in finding out that women will never desire me in any way. (Including two (2) separate instances where I was engaged; they broke it off each time.) It doesn't include the one year of college I tried and failed at because I cannot into higher maths or PC paper writing (Politically Correct; not computers...)
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  24. I'm not sticking around any more after Mother dies. That's just how this story ends. It should have never even been; this life could have been used on someone greater who could overcome such problems. I'm giving her about ten to fifteen years--and that's a lot of screaming for me. After that; I don't want to put up with the world anymore.
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  26. So; tell me how any of this could be fixed other than through my suicide. Because as it stands; I have no time to lift, nor anything else but slowly succumb.
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  28. And the story of Lawnmower Day:
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  30. When I was six; my old man had moved out to Anniston to continue his trade (dealing cocaine) and during our bi-weekly visitation we had to stay in this trap house since it was where he lived. One time; during our summer's visitation where we'd be there for two weeks at a time and come home on the weekends, Edd and I were playing with the neighbor boy on their trampoline. (Edd was three at the time.) We had no supervision; because Old Man had more important things–at least, to him–going on. (Traveling every summer to Miami to resupply.) Well; Anthony (the neighbor kid) was my age and he was then told to mow the lawn. Now; I don't know how old you are, or where you’re from, but this kid had no business using a gas powered, self propelled lawnmower. Especially since his redneck parents had duct taped the kill switch down so that if the thing got away from him, it wouldn't quit since he wasn't strong enough to use the pull cord starter. I bounded off the trampoline and I had assumed Edd was right behind me. (He wasn't . He'd fallen down; and was struggling to get back up.) That's when it happened. Fate struck. Right after I had gotten inside and turned the NES on; Susan–old man's fucktoy/pill connect at the time–came in, shouting at me how Edd was going to die and it was all my fault. The lawnmower had run over his leg, nearly cleaving his foot in two and severing his fourth toe completely from his right foot. So; we sped to RMC hospital in Anniston, with me, crying and squeezing his foot to keep him from bleeding out. Susan just dropped us off there; left us with no one telling me "This is all your fault; you fix it, his blood is on your hands." If it weren't for my eidetic memory and my knowledge of my Mother's family's information; he'd have just bled out since they have to contact a parent to admit a minor into care if they aren't brought in an ambulance. One could say; that I never left that hospital lobby. I've been plagued with constant suicidal ideation ever since then.
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  43. [–]from crazycycle sent 21 days ago
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  47. Dude, in this one message, you've shown me you have so much to offer the world and maybe even make a difference.
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  49. Based on what you wrote, I'm guessing you're in your late-twenties? I don't want to sound condescending, but that's on the young side. Have you ever heard the phrase 'life begins at forty'? It's really true. You know how you look back at your childhood and while the scars are still there and some of them, still unhealed, it's just not as bad as it was when you lived through it? Well, you lived through it. You survived and it wasn't your fault. It's also not your fault you have a shitty family. A lot of people do. But, they're all adults now so leave.
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  51. You have to move away and not come back for at least 10 years. You have to move away at least a 1000 miles and have a new family. Not necessarily your own family, but family-like friends and such. A healthy community. At your age, you can still meet/make close friends. In your 30's/40's, it's gonna be harder to trust new people and they won't trust you either.
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  53. Regarding chicks, why don't you just pretend you don't have a dick. Just LARP as eunuch and dedicate yourself to something meaningful. Something meaningful to YOU. See what happens in 5 years. Life is long, man. Too short, too.
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  72. [–]to crazycycle sent 21 days ago
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  77. Dude, in this one message, you've shown me you have so much to offer the world and maybe even make a difference.
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  79. DO. NOT. LIE. TO. ME!
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  81. DO NOT FUCKING LIE TO ME!!
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  83. No, I have never had anything to offer the word. NO! I could never make a difference. STOP. FUCKING. LYING! I have never had any good qualities, EVER! I cannot ever make a difference, EVER! Nothing good has ever happened, EVER!
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  85. DO. NOT. LIE. TO. ME! Compliments are false; the Voices scream louder.
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  88. Based on what you wrote, I'm guessing you're in your late-twenties?
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  90. I'm 29. Deal with it. You CANNOT "lol, you're still young, live till you're 40" shame me into backing down from this. Life has always been shit. I've heard Voices in my head since I was seven years old. Nothing has ever improved. Do you get it yet?
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  93. I don't want to sound condescending, but that's on the young side. Have you ever heard the phrase 'life begins at forty'? It's really true.
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  95. I don't care. I don't want to live. I only want to be dead. I'm just too cowardly to kill myself. Do you get it yet?
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  98. It's really true. You know how you look back at your childhood and while the scars are still there and some of them, still unhealed, it's just not as bad as it was when you lived through it?
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  100. Nope. Everything always haunts me, every time. Nothing ever leaves or lets go and the more I fight it the more the Voices summon flashbacks. Do you get it yet? My mind is not my own.
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  103. You survived and it wasn't your fault. It's also not your fault you have a shitty family. A lot of people do. But, they're all adults now so leave.
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  105. Nope. They're not all adults. My younger sister is still only 15. And I can't leave. There is no money to leave; everything I make is hand to mouth. There is no way to leave; I don't own the car I drive. There is no where to leave; nobody will take me in and I can't find any friends no matter what I do. Do. You. Get. It. Yet? I don't want to live; I want to be dead and for everything to be over, forever.
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  108. You have to move away and not come back for at least 10 years.
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  110. If I attempted that, I'd kill myself in five. Taking care of my family is my only purpose. Do you get it yet?
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  113. You have to move away at least a 1000 miles and have a new family. Not necessarily your own family, but family-like friends and such. A healthy community.
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  115. I can't. Nobody likes me. /pol is always right. Do you get it yet?
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  118. At your age, you can still meet/make close friends. In your 30's/40's, it's gonna be harder to trust new people and they won't trust you either.
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  120. I'm a paranoid schizophrenic, at best. I can't trust new people. Nobody will ever trust me. Nobody will ever like me. I'm a white male from Alabama. There is no healthy community; there is only Eternal Misery. I only want to be dead; do you get it yet?
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  123. Regarding chicks, why don't you just pretend you don't have a dick.
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  125. Meh. I already do when it comes to interacting with them in public. But that's not good enough. Women can still falsely accuse you even if you don't talk to them or have never met them. Just look at Roy Moore.
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  128. Just LARP as eunuch and dedicate yourself to something meaningful. Something meaningful to YOU.
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  130. I. CAN'T. There is nothing that meaningful; everything is misery. I can't dedicate myself to anything other than what the Voices have allowed to me. And even that fucks up. Every Effort Always Fails. Do you get it yet? Nothing works. Nothing helps. Nothing heals. I only want to be dead.
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  133. See what happens in 5 years.
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  135. Samson Looms. That's what happens in five years.
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  138. Life is long, man. Too short, too.
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  140. Life is filth. There is No Future but Nuclear Fire.
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  156. [–]from crazycycle sent 21 days ago
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  160. If that's how you really feel, why are you telling me? You already said you're gonna live until your mom passes in 10 to 15. So you'll already be over 40. I'm just telling you how you might feel differently about things with age. Don't you already see things differently from your 15 year old, self? Well, life gives you something different every decade.
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  162. And when I said make a difference, I didn't mean like curing cancer. Hahaha. I;m talking about making a difference in someone's life or even a slight nudge in someone's life trajectory. Lol.
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  164. You have a shitty family/upbringing and that's more than half the reason why you're fucked up. Remove yourself from that situation. That's the only way. And if you think you have mental issues, why don't you get help?
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  183. [–]to crazycycle sent 21 days ago
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  188. If that's how you really feel, why are you telling me? You already said you're gonna live until your mom passes in 10 to 15. So you'll already be over 40. I'm just telling you how you might feel differently about things with age. Don't you already see things differently from your 15 year old, self?
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  190. No. Not really. I was just as hopeless and miserable and wanting to kill myself at 15 as I am no. No progress has been made. Only Eternal Misery.
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  193. Well, life gives you something different every decade.
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  195. No. Only Punishment. Always Punishment. Eternal Misery. Do you get it yet?
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  198. And when I said make a difference, I didn't mean like curing cancer. Hahaha. I;m talking about making a difference in someone's life or even a slight nudge in someone's life trajectory. Lol.
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  200. That's not good enough. If it isn't bringing down the entire thing so that the entire world burns and nothing lives; it's not good enough.
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  203. You have a shitty family/upbringing and that's more than half the reason why you're fucked up. Remove yourself from that situation.
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  205. I. CAN'T. Old Man has been gone since 2009; there isn't anything else to remove myself from. There is no money to move, everything I make is hand to mouth. There is no way to move; I have no vehicle I own that I can just leave with. There is no where to move; nobody will take me in and again Hand. To. Mouth.
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  207. There is no way. There is only Eternal Misery. My family is the only purpose I have; the only reason I have to live. Everything else is Eternal Misery.
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  210. And if you think you have mental issues, why don't you get help?
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  212. Hand. To. Mouth.
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  214. There is no help to get; only Eternal Misery. All shrinks are Jews, Marxists or Marxist Jews. They all hate white men. They all hate conservatives. They all hate southerners. They all misprescribe and misdiagnose based on political affiliation and belief. None of the medicines ever worked. Why didn't any of the (((Help))) work when I was a kid? Why did none of the shrinks believe me about the voices in my head?
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  216. Why? Because it's Fate. The Gods hate us. They torture us forever.
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  230. [–]from crazycycle sent 21 days ago
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  235. I. CAN'T. Old Man has been gone since 2009; there isn't anything else to remove myself from. There is no money to move, everything I make is hand to mouth. There is no way to move; I have no vehicle I own that I can just leave with. There is no where to move; nobody will take me in and again Hand. To. Mouth.
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  237. Bullshit. Figure out a way. You're a young man, you can figure it out.
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  240. There is no help to get; only Eternal Misery. All shrinks are Jews, Marxists or Marxist Jews. They all hate white men. They all hate conservatives. They all hate southerners. They all misprescribe and misdiagnose based on political affiliation and belief. None of the medicines ever worked. Why didn't any of the (((Help))) work when I was a kid? Why did none of the shrinks believe me about the voices in my head?
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  242. Why? Because it's Fate. The Gods hate us. They torture us forever.
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  244. If you've already quit, why are you telling me anything? Life is for fighters, so stop pretending to be a quitter. You've already fought all this time. Fuck the shrinks. Just find good people to talk to. If you don't have any good people in your life, you have to find some. Moving is a part of that. You have to do it. Figure it out. In the meantime, you can message me anytime you want. If you want my help figuring things out, ask me questions.
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  263. [–]to crazycycle sent 20 days ago
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  268. Bullshit. Figure out a way. You're a young man, you can figure it out.
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  270. You do not know me. You have no idea about what I am or am not capable of. You have no idea that I can figure it out. I can't. I know myself.
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  273. If you've already quit, why are you telling me anything? Life is for fighters, so stop pretending to be a quitter. You've already fought all this time.
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  275. You know nothing of cowardice. I'm a coward. I'm not pretending to be a quitter. I am a quitter. I'm just a coward as well. Please come help me kill myself.
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  278. Fuck the shrinks. Just find good people to talk to. If you don't have any good people in your life, you have to find some.
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  280. There are none.
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  283. Moving is a part of that. You have to do it. Figure it out.
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  285. There is none. I can't figure it out. I can't do it. I know myself. Do you get it yet?
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  288. In the meantime, you can message me anytime you want. If you want my help figuring things out, ask me questions.
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  290. Are you sure? You've done nothing but kick down on me the entire time we've talked. If I want abuse, I can get it nearly anywhere or even from my own mind.
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  304. [–]from crazycycle sent 20 days ago
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  308. Stop using your family as an excuse for your suicidal ideation. They don't need you. If they actually needed you to stay, you'd find self-worth in that and not have suicidal ideation.
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  310. Hitchhike, walk, suck dick, idgaf, do whatever necessary to get a 1000 miles away and start a new life. And I'll kick you down harder if you keep sounding like a retarded faggot.
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  329. [–]to crazycycle sent 20 days ago
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  334. Stop using your family as an excuse for your suicidal ideation. They don't need you. If they actually needed you to stay, you'd find self-worth in that and not have suicidal ideation.
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  336. You've never been worthless before. You've probably never even been a coward before. And you're definately not a stream enterer because of how much vitriol you spit at me. You're slipping.
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  339. Hitchhike, walk, suck dick, idgaf, do whatever necessary to get a 1000 miles away and start a new life.
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  341. I can't. My excuses are valid. There is no money to do that. There is no dick to suck; that's not how it works. Hitchhiking is illegal, walking gets you no where. There is no reason to go 1000 miles away because the problems will just follow me do you get it yet? You kicking down on me only proves me more right.
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  343. Samson Looms Ever Forward
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  359. [–]from crazycycle sent 20 days ago
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  363. I have no vitriol for your situation. Stop being so dramatic. Walking gets you nowhere? Millions of people come to this country with nothing. Many walk here. Do you think you're too good for that?
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  365. I'm slipping? Lol. It's not my job to save you, you retard. You have to save yourself. So, save yourself. No one else is gonna do it.
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  384. [–]to crazycycle sent 20 days ago
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  389. I have no vitriol for your situation. Stop being so dramatic.
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  391. Yeah, you do. You're spewing vitriol. You're no stream enterer. You hold more malice in you than you'll ever admit. You cannot be anywhere near Nibbana.
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  394. Walking gets you nowhere? Millions of people come to this country with nothing. Many walk here. Do you think you're too good for that?
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  396. Being "too good" has nothing to do with it. I know myself. There isn't anywhere I could get by walking. Those people who come to this country with nothing are shitskins who get help from the government. White men get nothing. You know that. Do you get it yet?
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  399. I'm slipping? Lol. It's not my job to save you, you retard.
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  401. More vitriol. No stream entry for you!
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  404. You have to save yourself. So, save yourself. No one else is gonna do it.
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  406. I can't. There is no saving to be done. There is nothing to save. There is only Eternal Misery. Samson Looms.
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  422. [–]from crazycycle sent 20 days ago
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  426. So you're gonna sit on your ass and pretend there's nothing to save and only eternal misery? Why even mention nirvana, then? Anyways, if you have questions about saving yourself, then ask away
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  445. [–]to crazycycle sent 20 days ago
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  450. So you're gonna sit on your ass and pretend there's nothing to save and only eternal misery?
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  452. What else is there? Every Effort Always Fails.
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  455. Anyways, if you have questions about saving yourself, then ask away
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  457. Don't. Lie. You never would answer any question truthfully. You'd just tell me generic vague advice to "meditate" and "stop giving a shit". And knowing that I can't do that, you'd just berate me for not being good enough to do that. Liar.
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  471. [–]from crazycycle sent 20 days ago
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  475. I won't lie to you. I called you a retard, didn't I? So if you have specific questions on saving yourself, like moving a 1000 miles, I'll try to answer those questions.
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  494. [–]to crazycycle sent 20 days ago
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  498.  
  499. I won't lie to you. I called you a retard, didn't I? So if you have specific questions on saving yourself, like moving a 1000 miles, I'll try to answer those questions.
  500.  
  501. You're a liar already. There is no way to move 1000 miles away; Every Effort Always Fails. There is no money to move 1000 miles away; everything I make is hand to mouth. There is no point to move 1000 miles away; the Voices will still follow me, the misery will still be there, the Jews will still run the banks and women will still be ruined. There's no point in trying anything but getting someone to help me kill myself.
  502.  
  503. Please help me kill myself.
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  517. [–]from crazycycle sent 19 days ago
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  521. You can move a thousand miles, just move.
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  540. [–]to crazycycle sent 18 days ago
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  543.  
  544. No, I can't. There's nowhere to move to; everyone hates white men from Alabama. There's no way to move; everything I make is hand to mouth. I don't even have money to eat tonight. There is no reason to move a thousand miles; I'd just be the same as I am now and want to kill myself more. Do. You. Get. It. Yet?
  545.  
  546. There's never been a reason to move; my life would just be miserable somewhere else. Here's a challenge, I visit you in person and you help me kill myself. But of course, you wouldn't agree to that. Nobody will ever help me. Nobody will ever care. I just want to be dead and there's nothing else I want to do or will ever do. Do. You. Get. It. Yet?
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  560. [–]from crazycycle sent 18 days ago
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  563.  
  564. First of all, you're not a man. Stop calling yourself a man. You're a pathetic 29 year old boy. A loser. And you can move, so move. Go to Texas. Money: Sell everything, get another job, more hours, suck dick, sell blood, sell sperm, hitch hike, hop on a train, take a bus, whatever. Move your sorry ass to where they have better jobs.
  565.  
  566. And then you work your ass off for that first job. Quickness is gonna make a huge difference whether you sink or swim. Then you fight, scratch, claw your way to the next opportunity.
  567.  
  568. Do it faggot.
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  587. [–]to crazycycle sent 18 days ago
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  591.  
  592. First of all, you're not a man. Stop calling yourself a man. You're a pathetic 29 year old boy. A loser. And you can move, so move.
  593.  
  594. So much for stream entry. All you do is insult me. Whatever. I'm going to say whatever I want and there's nothing you can do about it.
  595.  
  596.  
  597. Go to Texas. Money: Sell everything, get another job, more hours, suck dick, sell blood, sell sperm, hitch hike, hop on a train, take a bus, whatever. Move your sorry ass to where they have better jobs.
  598.  
  599. I can't. There is nothing to sell, I don't own anything of value. Do you get it yet? There is no other job to get, do you get it yet? There is no reason to go to Texas, it's full of beaners and I'd just want to kill myself more. Do you get it yet? There is no dick to suck, that's degeneracy and there's no reason to do it; I'd just end up worse than I am, do you get it yet? There is no sperm to sell, nobody would ever buy it from a "loser" like me, as you said. I'm pathetic and nobody would ever want me. Do you get it yet? There is no hitch-hiking to be done. I'm a male and nobody would pick me up, it's illegal to do; do you get it yet? There is no train to hop on; that's illegal and you'd get caught as soon as you did it around here. Do you get it yet? There is no bus to take; everything I make is hand to mouth and I have nothing to sell, do you get it yet? There is no where to move my sorry ass to; there is only Eternal Misery and The Voices in my head. Do. You. Get. It. Yet?
  600.  
  601.  
  602. And then you work your ass off for that first job. Quickness is gonna make a huge difference whether you sink or swim. Then you fight, scratch, claw your way to the next opportunity.
  603.  
  604. I'm already sinking. Nothing else to be done. Do you get it yet? There is no opportunity for a "loser" like me. Do you get it yet?
  605.  
  606.  
  607. Do it faggot.
  608.  
  609. No. I'm going to continue to scream until someone helps me kill myself. Now, help me kill myself.
  610.  
  611. Ashes and Echoes
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  625. [–]to crazycycle sent 18 days ago
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  628.  
  629. And you can't sell blood, there is nowhere that does that around here in the area I can drive to in Alabama. There is no avenue to go down.
  630.  
  631. And get it through your fucking head; I DO NOT do ANYTHING Without the Safe Avenue of Retreat. So if I can't do something AND make sure my family is taken care of so that I can run back home when things inevitably fuck up and I have a psychotic episode and try to kill myself. DO. YOU. GET. IT. YET?
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  645. [–]from crazycycle sent 18 days ago
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  648.  
  649. That's not your family, you dumb fuck. That's your mother's family that you keep using as an excuse to stay pathetic. Do you understand? You have to move and make a new family, so move.
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  668. [–]to crazycycle sent 18 days ago
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  672.  
  673. That's not your family, you dumb fuck. That's your mother's family that you keep using as an excuse to stay pathetic.
  674.  
  675. There is nothing else. My excuses are valid. Who else is going to care about me? Nobody. Do you get it yet?
  676.  
  677.  
  678. Do you understand? You have to move and make a new family, so move.
  679.  
  680. There is no way to move; I have no money, everything is hand to mouth and I don't have anything I can sell that's worth money. Do you get it yet? There is no where to move; everywhere is full of beaners and other (((Diversity))) that hate white men from Alabama. Do you get it yet? There is no why to move; I can't make a "new family", nobody will ever want to be around someone crazy like me. Nobody will ever tolerate me. Nobody will ever be my friend. Do you get it yet?
  681.  
  682. I can't move; every avenue has been cut off and I'm too cowardly to try anything else. I'm only going to scream until someone helps me kill myself. DO. YOU. GET. IT. YET?
  683.  
  684. Now help me kill myself.
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  698. [–]to crazycycle sent 18 days ago
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  700.  
  701.  
  702. My sister went crazier, threatened to call the police out to the house for no reason and I can't get any sleep because her and my brother fight like retarded children about EVERYTHING.
  703.  
  704. Then when I get up and start yelling at people to shut the fuck up so I can sleep, everyone gets ill at me.
  705.  
  706. So, I said fuck it and went to sleep outside in the broken down van that's in the yard. Woke up cold and in pain. My back feels like it has a catch in it, so it hurts like hell to bend down and pick something up if I drop it. Almost like I'm being pushed over from the lower end of my back.
  707.  
  708. And there is nobody else who would even remotely care about me. Everyone else, INCLUDING YOU, would just treat me worse than that and everything will only get worse. Do you get it yet?
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  722. [–]from crazycycle sent 18 days ago
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  725.  
  726. You're not responsible for your mother and sister. Your mother is responsible for herself and her daughter. You're responsible for yourself. So fucking move.
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  745. [–]to crazycycle sent 18 days ago
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  749.  
  750. You're not responsible for your mother and sister. Your mother is responsible for herself and her daughter. You're responsible for yourself. So fucking move.
  751.  
  752. There is no where to move; everywhere is full of beaners and (((diversity))) that hates white men from Alabama. It would only get worse. Do you get it yet? There is no why to move; The Voices would still be in my head and anyone else who I tried to make my "new family" would just hate me worse and treat me worse. Do you get it yet? There is no way to move; everything I make is hand to mouth, I'm stuck in a check-loan debt spiral just to keep the bills paid and nothing improves, nothing to sell that's worth any money, nothing I own. Do you get it yet? There is nobody else. There is nothing else. I don't want to be responsible for myself. I only want to be dead, I'm just too cowardly to do it by myself due to the Mexican standoff out here. DO. YOU. GET. IT. YET?
  753.  
  754. I'm going to keep screaming until I find someone willing to come to Gadsden, Alabama and help me kill myself. Do. You. Get. It. Yet?
  755.  
  756. Now help me kill myself.
  757.  
  758. Where could I ever move? Where would I go? Who would I stay with? What job would I do? WHERE IS THE SAFE AVENUE OF RETREAT?!
  759.  
  760. Do you understand that part? I DO NOT do ANYTHING without the Safe Avenue of Retreat. Too many things always go wrong for me to ever try anything ever again. Do you get it yet?
  761.  
  762. Now please help me kill myself.
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  776. [–]from crazycycle sent 18 days ago
  777.  
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  780.  
  781. WHERE IS THE SAFE AVENUE OF RETREAT?!
  782.  
  783. Now please help me kill myself
  784.  
  785. Lol. hahaha...
  786.  
  787. If you know you hear voices, why don't you just tune them out? Everybody has voices in their head. It's normal, just don't freak out about it. And you're slipping, you said you were gonna wait until your mother passed, 10-15yrs. But now you're saying you want me to help you now. Lol.
  788.  
  789. Just start walking/running like a LARPING eunuch gump. Panhandle. Beg Mexicans and other diversity. Eat strangers' left overs. Sleep in the bushes. Wash gas station bathrooms. Infiltrate a soros group for money. haha. Whatever the fuck you have to do, move.
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  808. [–]to crazycycle sent 18 days ago
  809.  
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  812.  
  813. If you know you hear voices, why don't you just tune them out?
  814.  
  815. I can't. They're too loud. They consume every thought I have. It just doesn't work that way.
  816.  
  817.  
  818. Everybody has voices in their head. It's normal, just don't freak out about it.
  819.  
  820. No, you're lying.
  821.  
  822.  
  823. And you're slipping, you said you were gonna wait until your mother passed, 10-15yrs. But now you're saying you want me to help you now. Lol.
  824.  
  825. Either way works. Are you going to help me or do I have to keep screaming? I'm not slipping. I'm just screaming. Are you going to help me kill myself?
  826.  
  827.  
  828. Just start walking/running like a LARPING eunuch gump.
  829.  
  830. No. That doesn't work. No Safe Avenue of Retreat. Where is the Safe Avenue of Retreat?
  831.  
  832.  
  833. Panhandle. Beg Mexicans and other diversity.
  834.  
  835. Nope. That's illegal. They won't let whites do that. Mexicans will never give to a white person. There is nobody to beg; there is only Eternal Misery. Do you get it yet?
  836.  
  837.  
  838. Eat strangers' left overs.
  839.  
  840. Nope. That's too good to ever happen to me. I don't trust anyone. Do you get it yet? Where is the Safe Avenue of Retreat?
  841.  
  842.  
  843. Sleep in the bushes.
  844.  
  845. Nope. That's illegal, you'll get taken to jail for that. They don't let whites do that. Do you get it yet? Where is the Safe Avenue of Retreat?
  846.  
  847.  
  848. Wash gas station bathrooms.
  849.  
  850. Nope. That's illegal, you'll get taken to jail for that. They don't let whites do that. Do you get it yet? Where is the Safe Avenue of Retreat?
  851.  
  852.  
  853. Infiltrate a soros group for money.
  854.  
  855. You can't do that. They have explicit rolls of people and their SSNs, they would never give a crazy white man from Alabama anything. Do you get it yet? Where is the Safe Avenue of Retreat?
  856.  
  857.  
  858. haha. Whatever the fuck you have to do, move.
  859.  
  860. No. I can't move. There is no way to move; I don't have any money. There is nothing else. Do you get it yet? Where is the Safe Avenue of Retreat? There is no where to move; everywhere is full of beaners and diversity that all hate me, where is the Safe Avenue of Retreat? There is no why to move; I'd just end up miserable and suicidal somewhere else, there's no point in it because it won't fix anything. Where is the Safe Avenue of Retreat?
  861.  
  862. Do. You. Get. It. Yet?
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  876. [–]from crazycycle sent 17 days ago
  877.  
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  880. Move
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  899. [–]to crazycycle sent 13 days ago
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  902.  
  903. There is no where to move. There is only Eternal Misery.
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  917. [–]from crazycycle sent 13 days ago
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  920.  
  921. There's always somewhere to move to, so move. Even retarded Homo Erectus moved out of Africa, when all they knew was misery.
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  940. [–]to crazycycle sent 13 days ago
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  943.  
  944. No, there isn't anywhere to move to. It would just be a pointless gesture. My problems would follow me. I have no reason to move, it will just suck worse wherever I go. Do you get it yet?
  945.  
  946. And out of Africa theory is a shit. /pol/ is always right.
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  960. [–]from crazycycle sent 13 days ago
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  963.  
  964. Homo Erectus leaving Africa =/= OOA. And if /pol/ is always right, you're a LARP. hmmmm... What just happened?
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  983. [–]to crazycycle sent 13 days ago
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  986.  
  987. Nope. Q is still a LARP and nothing good has ever happened. There is nowhere to move to. There is only Eternal Misery. There is no way to move, there is only Eternal Misery.
  988.  
  989. Please help me kill myself.
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  1003. [–]from crazycycle sent 13 days ago
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  1007. Is /pol/ always right or not, faggot?
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  1026. [–]to crazycycle sent 13 days ago
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  1030. You are not going to be able to dissuade me down that line. Do you get it yet? You don't lead this conversation, I do. The Voices do.
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  1044. [–]from crazycycle sent 13 days ago
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  1048. Don't be afraid, you can answer honestly. Is /pol/ always right?
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  1067. [–]to crazycycle sent 13 days ago
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  1071. Do you get it yet? You don't lead this discussion. You cannot gotcha me, I refuse to deal with that. Nothing good has ever happened. Q is a LARP, nothing good will ever happen. The anti-white ZOG will never arrest itself. Samson Looms
  1072.  
  1073. Please help me kill myself.
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  1087. [–]from crazycycle sent 13 days ago
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  1091. gg, faggot. See on infinity.
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  1110. [–]to crazycycle sent 13 days ago
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  1114. There is nothing else; only Eternal Misery. There is no gg; there is only Eternal Misery. I'm going to keep screaming at you and everyone else until someone finally helps me kill myself.
  1115.  
  1116. Please help me kill myself.
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  1130. [–]to crazycycle sent 2 hours ago
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  1134. There is no moving. There is only Eternal Misery. Q is still a LARP.
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  1148. [–]from crazycycle sent an hour ago
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  1152. Happy New Year!! Faggot!
  1153.  
  1154. Q isn't a LARP, but everything is comped. CBTS/BO is a shill and the the archives are being nuked/diffused. Q most likely isn't coming back.
  1155.  
  1156. If misery is eternal, how would killing yourself help?
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  1175. [–]to crazycycle sent 39 minutes ago
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  1179. Q is a LARP; if he isn't, why hasn't anything been done? Why isn't the Swamp being drained? Nothing good has ever happened and nothing good ever will so long as Samson Looms. So long as Nuclear Isreal exists, Trump is a puppet. Deal with it. If Q was real, he should have just let fly and burned the whole world down. It deserves to burn.
  1180.  
  1181. And suicide would help in the fact that it would be over for a moment.
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  1195. [–]to crazycycle sent 38 minutes ago
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  1197.  
  1198.  
  1199. Even if it's just a moment, it would be over for a moment. Maybe that's the difference between us? I realize that nothing in life will ever be worth it for me, so I just want it to be over as fast as possible.
  1200.  
  1201. Why won't you help me kill myself? You clearly hate me.
  1202. permalink
  1203.  
  1204.  
  1205.  
  1206.  
  1207.  
  1208.  
  1209.  
  1210.  
  1211.  
  1212.  
  1213.  
  1214.  
  1215. [–]from crazycycle sent 8 minutes ago
  1216.  
  1217.  
  1218.  
  1219. There has been a happening going on, but subtle, imo. Follow the news. Lol. Resignations, KSA, sealed indictments, declaration of national emergency, silence from some past critics, etc.
  1220.  
  1221. Honestly, I don't know if Q is a LARP, but I hope he isn't. I don't actually know and even if Q isn't a LARP, Q isn't undeniable truth cause he even says disinfo is real and necessary. Whatever. i"m tired
  1222. permalink
  1223. delete
  1224. report
  1225. block user
  1226. mark unread
  1227. reply
  1228.  
  1229.  
  1230.  
  1231.  
  1232.  
  1233.  
  1234.  
  1235.  
  1236.  
  1237.  
  1238.  
  1239.  
  1240. [–]to crazycycle sent 8 minutes ago
  1241.  
  1242.  
  1243.  
  1244.  
  1245. If you want my help figuring things out, ask me questions.
  1246.  
  1247. Will you PLEASE come help me kill myself in person?
  1248. permalink
  1249.  
  1250.  
  1251.  
  1252.  
  1253.  
  1254.  
  1255.  
  1256.  
  1257.  
  1258.  
  1259.  
  1260.  
  1261. [–]to crazycycle sent just now
  1262.  
  1263.  
  1264.  
  1265.  
  1266. There has been a happening going on, but subtle, imo. Follow the news. Lol. Resignations, KSA, sealed indictments, declaration of national emergency, silence from some past critics, etc.
  1267.  
  1268. I have. It's more wagging of the dog. It's not anything decent, the sealed documents aren't necessarily indictments. Good things don't happen. Ever.
  1269.  
  1270.  
  1271. Honestly, I don't know if Q is a LARP, but I hope he isn't.
  1272.  
  1273. Why? Why the fuck would you ever have hope? Good things don't happen.
  1274.  
  1275.  
  1276. I don't actually know and even if Q isn't a LARP, Q isn't undeniable truth cause he even says disinfo is real and necessary.
  1277.  
  1278. That's the proof of the LARP. If disinfo is necessary, then the entire thing should be scrapped and everyone burned to death. Do you get it yet?
  1279.  
  1280.  
  1281. Whatever. i"m tired
  1282.  
  1283. You're a cuck. A Civnat cuck at that. You hope for things that will never happen while you foment dreams that will never come true as you wish for a leader who will never come to power because Samson Looms Ever Forward.
  1284.  
  1285. Ashes and Echoes
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