Borderline WolfToday at 5:17 PM
I fucked up my relationship with my girlfriend. She intentionally fucked with my head and I exploded at her. First time I've been physically abusive in a while. I want to hurt or kill myself.

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:18 PM
@Borderline Wolf Can you please go into detail as to what happened. What triggered this reaction. But before we go there; is your girlfriend OK?

Borderline WolfToday at 5:19 PM
Yeah, I don't think I hurt her that bad

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:19 PM
Okay, now that we've established that. Can you please tell me what lead to this happening.

Regina GeorgeToday at 5:19 PM
How do you mean she fucked with your head?
And what gives you the impression it was intentional?
Not trying to sound condescending I'm just really bad at using 'definite' terms

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:20 PM
Regina, I'm trying to be civil about approaching this without immediately pointing blame at anyone.
This is a serious topic.
We need more facts.

Borderline WolfToday at 5:21 PM
On mobile so my responses will be slow

Regina GeorgeToday at 5:21 PM
I'm not attempting to point blame
I'm just curious as to what led to this frame of thought

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:21 PM
We'll get there, allow Borderline Wolf to explain.

Borderline WolfToday at 5:27 PM
She knows I have a problem with fear of being abandoned. This morning she tried to convince me she was seeing someone else and I fell for it and overreacted. This afternoon she took my phone and pretended she was texting one of my friends abusive stuff. I hit on her as she held the phone away.  She then told me she was considering breaking up with me over it. She wrestled a scalpel away from me.

clodubusToday at 5:30 PM
WTF

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:32 PM
Your girlfriend should not be messing with your emotions like that. If she understands you're fear of abandonment and chooses to mess with it. That's a red flag. If she texts your friends, abusive things. That's a red flag. However, violence is never the answer. But I do understand in the heat of the moment you were scared. I understand you were convinced that she actually did that. That's manipulation and she is trying to egg you on. Her threatening to break up is just another sign that she doesn't value the relationship. Even if this was all in a "joking manner" (according to her), I don't believe you should continue this relationship. It's dangerous for you. You shouldn't be in a relationship where someone actively takes advantages of your fears, messes with them, and threatens to break up. That's toxic.

clodubusToday at 5:32 PM
what the fuck...Im trying to think of something else but like that just pissed me absolutely tf off

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:33 PM
@Borderline Wolf I believe you're in an abusive relationship. Whether she sees it that way or not, I don't think you should continue with her. For you're safety. Can you please explain to me why you had a scapal. Were you threatening self harm to yourself or harm to her?

Borderline WolfToday at 5:34 PM
Self harm to myself

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:34 PM
Let's talk about whether you should stay in this relationship or not.

Borderline WolfToday at 5:39 PM
The way you mentioned it does sound like abusive relationship. It felt like she was intentionally trying to trigger me. Maybe I didn't explain bpd well enough. It's only been a month. She tells me she has DID but her parents don't believe her.

im_a_bullfrogToday at 5:40 PM
I'm agreeing with  @[SpOoKy] Corgi. It isn't right to be manipulated like that

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:40 PM
Disassotive Identity Disorder is extremely hard to diagnose. Unless she has papers from a psychogolist who properly diagnosed her. I wouldn't believe it.

clodubusToday at 5:41 PM
thats full on manipulation babes @Borderline Wolf if you told her you have a fear of abandonment and she still "plays" like that than thats not healthy for you

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:41 PM
Regardless, @Borderline Wolf. You need to be in a safe enviroment. I understand the need to have someone be with you. To support, love, and help you through the difficult times. But I'm afraid based off what you told me, that this isn't the right person.

clodubusToday at 5:43 PM
DID doesnt have nothing to do with that intentional minipulation either unless that was a whole nother personality and even then it seems as if she hasnt been properly diagnosed

Borderline WolfToday at 5:46 PM
I'm worried because I living with her until Wednesday

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:47 PM
@Borderline Wolf Keep a low profile. Do your absolute best to deflect and ignore any harmful comments thrown at you. Wednesay is two days away. You can do it.

clodubusToday at 5:47 PM
well that gives yall time to talk about the ordeal after yall have both calmed

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:48 PM
They should absolutely not talk about it. Her girlfriend has proven to be manipulative and toxic. And after Borderline Wolf getting scared and "hitting" her. That only gives her ammunation to throw shade at her.

clodubusToday at 5:48 PM
see if she really wants to break up and why she would do something like that. but like corgi said keep a low pro

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:49 PM
@Borderline Wolf I assume this isn't the first time she's done this behavior?

clodubusToday at 5:49 PM
eh if your living together than theres no way to not

Borderline WolfToday at 5:51 PM
First time. I met her online and we hit it off amazing. So I decided to visit her. I've been here since Wednesday.

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:51 PM
That's troublesome behavior.
There's always a chance it could continue.
Have you had a chance to talk to her about this, civally @Borderline Wolf ?
excuse my spelling mistakes.

Borderline WolfToday at 5:52 PM
I haven't

clodubusToday at 5:52 PM
it looks like shes testing limits than. i used to hit my GF during episodes too but once we got calm and collected even if its hrs or so later we would sit and talk about it like "healthy" adults

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:53 PM
If that's what you consider "testing limits" there is something deeply wrong with the relationship.

clodubusToday at 5:54 PM
it seems like both of them have some mental shit going on I dont think it the relationship its the person and how they were raised

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:54 PM
That gives neither the right to hit or manipulate/spread lies to friends.

clodubusToday at 5:55 PM
you not wrong.

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:55 PM
@Borderline Wolf While I don't think the relationship should continue. Especially after her behavior. I do believe what Clodubus said was a good suggestion. Sit down and talk to her about it. Ask why she did it. But keep in mind her actions. I don't believe you can justify actions that severe. However it's best to try and get an understanding before you determine whether you want out. What do you say?
Also keep in mind your actions. You panicked and made a rash decision.

Borderline WolfToday at 5:56 PM
Sounds good

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:57 PM
@Borderline Wolf please keep us informed about what happens. If you need someone to talk to, shoot me a ping.

Borderline WolfToday at 5:57 PM
Thanks

im_a_bullfrogToday at 5:57 PM
Be careful and pay attention to if she tries to gaslight you and pretend that it's not serious

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 5:58 PM
^ Extremely good point.

clodubusToday at 5:59 PM
but anyways @Borderline Wolf yall just met, this seems like the first incident. mad toxic but whenever yall are calm cool and collected just go head and talk. if shes deflective about the situation, gaslighting or putting all the blame on you,  the relationship isnt gonna work and thats automatic. dont try to make it work either cause all its gonna do is hurt yourself

Borderline WolfToday at 6:00 PM
Yeah thanks for all your advice. I've calmed immensely.

[SpOoKy] CorgiToday at 6:01 PM
I'm happy to hear that; @Borderline Wolf. :hug: