Why didn't 4 ask out 5?
Because he was 2²

What does the 'B.' in 'Benoit B. Mandelbrot' stand for?
'Benoit B. Mandelbrot'

I'm reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

You can rearrange the letters in 'Banach Tarski' to spell 'Banach Tarski Banach Tarski'.

'Do you know Pavlov?'
'I'm not sure but it rings a bell.'

A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
'What do we want?'
'Time Travel!'
'When do we want it?'
'Irrelevant!'

What does a subatomic duck say?
'Quark!'

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer.
'For you, no charge.'

Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
'Oh no, I think I lost an electron.'
'Are you sure?'
'Yes, I'm positive.'

An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.