The Second Chance

Introduction

Aw! How calming this is! It´s the paradise! I believe that there´s nothing better than taking a vacation in the southwest of Equestria. I am so far away from all those ponies walking around the crowded streets of Canterlot.  I find my routine quite stressful just to keep an eye on all of them daily.

I´ve heard that they were planning to make a huge party over there and standing for security in the presence of those crowds, it makes everything more difficult. Even though Twilight Sparkle would organise all the preparations, I can already imagine that my boss Cloud Zapper would ask as to keep watch for a long time just to pretend that we are doing something.

But, why would anyone want a party when one could spend a few days on the beach, with a yellow life jacket and enjoy how the water flows in your body?  It´s almost like you enter in it and you didn´t want to get out of it, what calm ambient! My musings are petering out right now because I know that there aren´t many days to enjoy left and much less with such an appealing sunny climate like this.

Let´s not even talk about the palm trees that offer such stunning views. Absolutely marvellous!  I believe that I am going to stay lied down until dusk or whenever I get fed up of it, I will come back to the hotel.

Speaking of which, I haven´t put much attention to this but ever since I arrived at here, the first day in fact, I have been receiving a few letters that came from Canterlot. I haven´t thought about them because I am out of service, I don´t want to bother about related matters of my job.

I´ve been working as a royal guard for quite a few years and while it´s true that it´s the only job that I have been doing in my life, I know how to carry it out. However, these days are so joyful that I cannot waste my time on stressing myself for anything related to my job. I will read them once I come back to Canterlot or when I get back on track, I will ask about the situation to Cloud Zapper.

Besides, it´s a party, I guess they having lots of fun. Considering that ever since Twilight has achieved her coronation as a princess, we are facing such peaceful times that maybe the royal guards get a free day in order to see the Songbird Serenade´s concert. I don´t want to envision if someone would want to take over the scenario spontaneously and make a huge fuss in the middle of it. The guards would get a bad image and for sure, it would imply additional work. I don´t want to think about.

What I am thinking about instead is that I have been a little bit foolish these past years. I normally took the vacation to the north, spending my days in the mountains but I am changing my mind about the south part of Equestria because it´s free of any adverse events, unlike Canterlot. One starts to lose the will of facing extreme changes mostly because I am getting older and I´ve working on my job for quite a few years.

I don´t feel like going back home even if I were invited to a huge party of that kind, this doesn´t have to envy that celebration. They might never know what they are missing. Besides, the hotel had very bookings and a few ponies of this small town left just to the see the pop artist so it almost looks like this place was conceived for me.

I will find hard to forget about these holidays mostly because of the tranquillity that I have been receiving. I didn´t have this zone in my spotlight. Someday, maybe I should know more about the south part of Equestria, just to see what´s beyond the usual places we all know. Maybe it will surprise me and I find another beach with desirable characteristics such as this one.
Anyway, I think that I am falling asleep. I find myself so carefree that I don´t even bother where I left my glasses on the sand. I will check out where I left them but for now, let´s keep living this dream.


Fall from grace.


Now I am coming back home by taking the train to Canterlot, I am relieved and it´s a pity that I didn´t know about these things before. It has changed my mood and I think that it will be difficult to ruin my day in the job. Let´s see if they complain about me again!

I am getting closer to the city and…well, to my surprise, it feels somewhat cold. I thought that it would look more presentable than this for simply celebrating a big party but from what I am noticing from the distance, it doesn´t look the same as before.

As if that wasn´t enough, why are those species flying to the south? I have never seen them before. They look like griffons even though I am certain that they aren´t from Griffonstone, they would fly to the East and their tails don´t seem to match at all. These weird birds must inhabit in the South because they are going to the opposite direction that I am leading at. I have always been clueless about the South. I have never known about those places except for Appleloosa. The last time I went there, it was just to secure the construction sites of a new stadium that is going to unveiled soon and keep an eye on the possible conflicts between some a few ponies and buffalos.
I exited the train station and despite seeing ponies wandering in the streets as always, I am noticing a few buildings shattered. Even though they are fixing the damages for a few houses and shops, how did this manage to happen? Were there problems at throwing the fireworks? Maybe a spell that was too powerful to handle it? Was Canterlot so crowded that it couldn´t endure a party of this level, destroying what surrounded it? If the last question happens to be true, then I will have nailed it in my decision of leaving this place for a few days.

I am getting closer to my house and the damages haven´t stopped at all. Nonetheless, ponies don´t seem moody at all so the party must have been a success but it doesn´t make any sense that no one is mad by these destructions, someone must have been responsible for all of this. Despite living in a world that consists in shining lots of rainbows and smiles at times, there have always been conflicts and very tense ones.

Well, someone should explain this to me but maybe later, I am about to come into my house, I need a little bit of time before resuming my routine and...

WHAAAAAAT?! What is this?! What am I looking at? How is it possible that the door locked? Why does it have a note saying that they are looking for a replacement? They offered this house to me in exchange of doing my job properly and now after all these years, they are turning me out of this place.

This must be a bad joke because they cannot point at me for carrying guilt for these damages. I have to ask Cloud Zapper about this immediately; there is no way that this is truly happening because if it is, I will be totally lost.

Clash of the titans


With a face of astonishment in my face, I am heading to the main castle where the two Royal Sisters live. I have to demand an explanation from Cloud Zapper. He leads the army unit in which I work so this drastic extreme decision must have come from him. All of this is challenging what I have achieved for many years and I am not willing to give up yet.

However, my hopes are diminishing little by little because as I get closer to him, the guards that know me are looking askance at me and I am wondering if I am either in Canterlot or in the Everfree Forest. The similarities are to the say the least, quite terrifying. Either way, I am too focused on the problem that I already have but this doesn´t help at all at comforting me.

I get inside the main room and there he is: my boss Cloud Zapper. He is a grey pegasus and has a mane of two blue stripes with a white one in the middle and…it is what I imagined, he doesn´t look pleased at all. I am asking myself what I have done for causing this madness to him. I am mad as well but I cannot show it here.

Unlike my free time when one laze around and do improper things, if I lose my manners, I will definitely lose all the possibilities to surpass this problem. I´d better keep a formal behaviour this time as an exemplary guard:

“Commander Cloud Zapper! I have come back so I can offer my duties again, sir!” I exclaimed with a firm tone despite the circumstances.

“What duties, BlueStar? Do you mean the ones that you didn´t offer this week?” He answered unwillingly. I am not starting this well, am I?

“How could I offer my services, sir? My request for being out of service was given to me for this week. What did you want from me after your approval in a period when Canterlot had planned days of partying?” I asked in my defence.

 “Days of partying you say, uh?! Ha! That partying must have been spent by you. You haven´t shown a little bit of concern about this city for all this time! Haven´t you noticed the damages while coming over here, fool?” Cloud Zapper responded.

“I don´t know what you are talking about sir. Was the party all that bad? How did those damages manage to happen in the first place? Wasn´t this event guaranteed by Twilight Sparkle and the princesses?” I asked.

“There were a few unexpected guests that took over the entire city. They petrified the three princesses and almost managed to do the same with Twilight. Thanks to her, by defeating The Storm King, we could recover it and so the normality. We could have a party in the end, that´s why ponies have a smile as if nothing happened” he answered.

“Then, everyone should be happy, right? I fail to see the problem because the normality has been recovered and I present myself here when my request expires. I don´t understand this madness you are showing towards me right now, sir” I answered with the intention to calm down this ambient.

“I am mad because you have been a part of this problem” he affirmed. That attempt didn´t work at all.

“I still don´t get it, sir” I asked with a hesitant tone.

“Who was the idle that dared to disobey emergency orders and leave out all of them in repeated occasions? How could a subject stay so carefree and disloyal like you, a unicorn with a golden armour that is front of me who has the will to come here and dares to take charge of duties that he failed to accomplish in an emergency state?!” he asked.

“Commander, those orders weren´t left out by me intentionally. I didn´t want to be disloyal to the kingdom. I simply took the days off that were offered to me” I answered this even though I was starting to believe that this whole situation was ridiculous.

“That were offered to you, he says…” he said sarcastically. “Not even one single day belonged to you, fool” Cloud Zapper exclaimed. “But of course, why bother sending orders to you if you like hanging out with young mares out there, like a youngster? I suppose that you must have fun in the Southwest and enjoying your personal kinks with them, haven´t you? The military orders….those are for the windigos instead, huh?!” he replied.

I am getting fed up of these answers and I can tell his derogatory tone towards my image here. Have I committed a crime for receiving all of this? If this keeps happening, this whole room better be prepared because if that´s the game, of course we can play it.

“I thought that those letters informed about the party, sir. I didn´t envision that such a big attack made by The Storm King would actually happen this week” I said.

“It seems that one didn´t want to read a single word this week. Your request was invalidated the same day in which you were gone and your duty, really useless by the way, was conspicuous by its absence” he affirmed. “What could anyone expect from you? A guard that simply stares romantically at other guards or even passes time at imagining love stories with Twilight under the pseudonym named “Zephyr”? It´s no wonder that all of this would happen sooner or later despite keeping you in the charge after all these years.” He said with a sarcastic tone again.

After hearing that, I couldn´t let him to put me to shame with such impertinence. If I am unwelcome in this place, I cannot let them get away with it for free.

“That´s enough, Cloud Zapper! There´s no way you can put me to shame in front of the rest and no way are you an exception! For disobeying an order once accidentally, you come here and vent all your madness at me!” I exclaimed.

“The permissions are rejected whenever we enter into an emergency state. I wouldn´t vent if it weren´t because we happened to be in it. All the guards had to come back to their duties immediately and you, loafer, disobeyed it, with several warnings” Cloud Zapper affirmed.

“Don´t tell. Warn for what? Do the duties of this army serve for preventing attacks of this magnitude? As far as I know, the guards have always stayed there just to fill and pretend that they are protecting the royalty when in reality, no one does anything in the end. It´s always Twilight, like you say in this case, who has always saved the prestige of the army. If I were so useless for my duties, the rest don´t fall behind at all!” I confessed, exposing the fake appearance that we give in the charge.

Every pony around me stood absolutely astonished after hearing my words. They knew that they couldn´t stop the big attacks and Twilight and her friends have been the ones that deserved a prestige for a long time.

“I have never seen such direct attacks towards the royal army´s image. BlueStar, you are left without the lent home and without your job. You are fired!” Cloud Zapper concluded.

I knew that I would lose this conversation for a while because of his derogatory answers for calling me like that. So, I nod for one last time but considering that I am left helpless to nowhere, there was some room left for this fight of prestige. After getting closer to the entrance, I turned my head and I wanted to get one last thing straight before saying goodbye:

“Who are you then for delivering exemplariness of honour and loyalty? If you Cloud Zapper kept a relationship in secret with Princess Cadence while we were replacing the Crystal army for a few days? Or that time when Tirek attacks happened and he was draining all ponies´ magic when you were loafing around, sleeping in the branch of a tree in an emergency state, shouldn´t two guards get fired in this room by the same cause?” I said indifferently, acknowledging what was about to come…

He gasped and was left surprised for a while. After that, the rage prevailed over his face, he caught a lance and said: “Leave, now!”
I left the castle quickly and I hurried to leave the town as well. I am not thinking about the consequences yet because I believe that I still have dangers to avoid. I ran through the streets until I crossed the main bridge that served as the main entrance for Canterlot. It seemed that the guards were not ordered by Cloud Zapper and fortunately weren´t from the unit he commanded.  Either way, I knew that Canterlot wouldn´t give me refuge anymore.

By the time that I realized about it, I had left the city spontaneously and I lost the sight of those walls, my escape mission actually ended. However, questions arose abruptly as soon as I accomplished my initial plan. My mood started to chance drastically and all those random questions could be summed up in a very simple pattern hidden among them:


“And…what do I do now?” I thought out loud.


Road to the South.


After successfully escaping from the city, what am I supposed to do now? I hadn´t raised this problem of leaving my house after such a long time. I thought that I had my entire life solved, living under a stable routine but now, I don´t own anything at all. Canterlot was the place for joining in the royal army and everyone who wanted to offer security to the kingdom, they were recruited there. I am left abandoned without the charge that I have known and all the pleasant and past belongings are taken off. This is what I have found and I didn´t desire this at all.

Those pleasant pass times I had are also a curse here. I blamed Cloud Zapper about his short duration ship with Cadance…but I don´t hold a much better prestige either. In fact, one would imagine that I could join into the Crystal army but I hold a bad image over there. I tried to flirt with certain kinks of mine with a few mares that were married with the guards we were replacing at that time. That did not sit well at all…and it explains why my unit wasn´t ordered to visit that place again.

I am blaming those pleasure when I don´t have a house that I need. Honestly, I am a mess and so does my mind. I understand why Cloud Zapper was moody towards me and kept all those outrages that I did in the past. Therefore, I cannot head to the north, I wouldn´t be welcome over there if I tried to work as a guard over there.

I am dreading a little bit because I have to take a drastic decision in order to pick up a little bit of hope and…considering that this insanity has started after leaving Canterlot with such a daring attitude, at least I must finish it somehow.

I fled heading to the south and I am not willing to take a step back to the north. If that city is my home no more, the next step will be towards the undiscovered south. And so, I am departing to the south with the hope of ending my interest to see what´s there. If I fail in my quest, at least, I promise to myself to see those creatures I saw flying in the sky when I was aboard the train.


Distressed in the Bone Dry Desert


My solitary quest seems to have left me in vein. Except for going to Appleloosa, I don´t have a single train that could help me at going to the south.  I have been walking for a few hours in this desert and it doesn´t seem to end at all. Maybe I had seen an industrial city in the horizon but honestly, in the middle of such a hostile place, who would want to stay there?

Without a prepared route, nor guide, nor transport nor preparation, I must say that my pleasures have carried me away to such a spontaneous yet failed plan. If I turned back, maybe the night would fall before reaching the last trees I managed to see.

The south is huge and there is no doubt that no one has sent us here in the past. Now I am starting to understand what this place really means…because there was no interest at all in knowing it.

I have to replace my glasses again, my armour feels heavier to me and my eyes are struggling at seeing something in the south horizon. I haven´t seen anything that fulfils me with hope. My age is proving to be a challenge for venturing myself in such a useless way yet so necessary at the same time.

The laziness and good mood that I had these past days is completely gone in single day. Congratulations BlueStar, you are a genius. After pretending so much time in the army and wearing the glasses that give you an intelligent impression, you go and decide to carry a rushed plan that has proven to fail miserably so far.

Again, I have to reaffirm at myself that my life was lost as soon as I heard those words from Cloud Zapper but I didn´t imagine that the risk of getting out of the comfort zone would turn out to be a huge risk. The interest for new places is sometimes dangerous and this desert full of spiders inside the dry bones I have come across confirms what I am thinking right now.

I cannot tell if it´s worse to give in towards such loss of prestige, ruining completely my image or if I should give up at walking more in this desert with such friendly companies like those spiders. I may have my reason and I hope to not have taken the wrong decision here, but it´s far away from becoming the correct one.

I am still walking while I am getting lost inside my mind, with my head down and my body running out of energies, I don´t even bother at looking up at the horizon. All that is awaiting me is sand. It´s sand all that I have left around me and my body has walked at certain moments uncoordinated.

Suddenly, I stepped over a different surface. Under my hooves, I noticed something metallic under my hooves and the feeling was completely different to what I was used to sense for a long time. My eyes opened up after feeling that difference and to my surprise, I found a ray of hope in this hollow part of Equestria:

“IT´S A RAILWAY! I´VE FOUND A RAILWAY! Someone must be living in the south, they must be there!” I exclaimed with absolute happiness.
My energies were gathered but only slightly because I was using the reserved ones I had in this worn out body. My interest didn´t cease and I knew that I was certain of my observations. And so, I keep walking, I am still conscious (at least) and this desert might not be eternal after all.


Arrival at the South Coast


I am still walking with more enthusiasm than I had before seeing the railway but my energies aren´t as big as the size of this desert. I am moving forward because going back cannot be considered an option after such an effort of this level for my physical conditions. I am not used to travelling this far but on the bright side, my interest still remains…

…well, it remained until I saw that the railway was actually ending. While it had the right direction before leaving it, I come back to the undefined path of sand. Nonetheless, this sand feels softer in comparison for my hooves, am I getting closer to a beach?

To sum this trip up, my interest has been going up and down like the dunes I have been going through but the result is the same in the end: my body is taking its toll on. One doesn´t know what to feel after reaching this state. I have been thinking so much about lots of things in this hostile zone that I won´t feel the same way like I did in the past. I might not have any pleasure anytime soon but for sure I am turning into a more experienced guard that could be capable to offer my duties loyally after this harsh experience.

Fatigue is what prevails in my blood and I am willing to do the task I´ve had in mind but, is this what I was looking for? It seems that I have found it because I couldn´t believe what I was looking at: it was the coast. There was water in the horizon and the sun was set in that direction. I might be fortunate and so it´s convenient to reach it.

“Come on BlueStar, one last effort! We are almost there. Prove that you are a true royal guard!” I motivated myself after seeing something so familiar like the water I enjoyed during this week in my vacation. I keep walking and rocks were appearing while the bones were disappearing at the same time.

By the time I approached at the desired change of landscape, I should have filled myself up with joy after reaching the South of Equestria all on my own. An achievement of this kind isn´t within reach of the average pony and the risks taken without any preparation at all are quite remarkable. I have actually reached the end of ride and it´s a trophy that I´ll hold in my life. I´ve reached the south coast of Equestria and…

…and nevertheless, there is no one around for telling this achievement. In the same solitary way I started this trip, I end it up alone with something illusory. I don´t find those beings at all. All I see are rocks both in the sea and the coast, water and a rocky cliff.
It´s hard to even think what I have to think next….because I have nothing planned to do anymore. There is no ground to walk other than this coast and all I have in front of me…is the ocean.

I didn´t fill my body with joy but with sadness because my words are only going to be heard by the wind. After such expedition, I have just confirmed my perdition. I don´t have neither a yellow life vest, nor a hotel to lodge like I did in the past but I have…is this golden armour that could serve me as my burial.

“It´s over. I have nothing left to do. I am tired and worn-out, I have no provisions and I won´t find a place that I could call home. I believe that today I am ending...my life as a royal guard. So be it” I affirmed.

For attempting to find something that never existed, look for stability, another alternative in which I could serve as a guard by putting all my trust on those weird griffons…. In the end, I am the living proof that one cannot get everything at once. I am severely foolish and delirious with my ideas. For believing in that fake illusion, I have gone too far in my personal evolution.

And so, I am willing to swim a little bit after suffering a dry ambient for so long and getting my body wet will balance that excess.

However, I can´t swim with skill, not because I don´t know how to do it but because I have realized that the heavy armour and my fatigue were way too much to keep myself afloat, much more than expected. I have had to keep my breath for a while and hold me into something solid because the tides were sweeping me along. In the end, I got out of the water because I found a rock that was big enough for whole body but it was quite distant from the coast.

If there were any frustrations or angers that I had in the past, little to nothing is left within me right now. Nostalgia and sadness is all that I carry and it seems that I have found my fate because the waves are slowly getting stronger, the sun is shining with less strength, the clouds are covering it and…I find myself too far away from the coast to even attempt at not drowning in this violent sea. I keep my head down once more, the water drops flow all over my wet body and so, I bid farewell to any possible that could show up to my face.

It´s time to dream and breathe this pure air for one last time. So be it my end with pride…


Words in the wind


What have I been looking for, after walking hundreds of thousands of steps? What did my eyes want to see in those creatures that were never discovered? Why did my commander choose to fire me when I never predicted what he had decided? Where is the prize that I should deserve after raising my willingness?

Those pleasures I enjoyed as a guard, paying for them in this rock I am, yet stability never comes and my lack of youth is helping at what I am about to become.

I, BlueStar, royal guard of Equestria, was condemned by Cloud Zapper, whose abandonment was given to me with his bad temper, and treason I did in this magical land of Equestria!

I won´t grant him the guilt, obligations were what I had to provide, our pleasures were invalid to hide, this bad image is what I have built.

Big mistake not to see those letters I had to rate, the Storm King attacked the city so did he cleared out my stability, my home and in the end, marked my fate.

Corruption had to be sentenced that others guards forgot. In my last resort, my big mouth was all they got; the situation for them was unpleased.

Bone Dry Desert… as big as undesirable, to me the railway made it viable, after an argument my sir and I did pervert.

Unable to do anything other than being a guard, because of the pleasant things my life has offered, this of hope I want to see has been latched and today my interest after all has fallen apart.

What is this that I find after these achievements? Those railways disappeared; my pace has found what this desert hid in its core, this coast is what has appeared, nothing but rocks and water brought, my actions forgot to bring me more: a good life and a steadiness.

And so, here I am in the middle of nowhere, violent tides are what surround this horse, staggered ambient that has found its corpse, this solitary south only offered salted water.

If it´s got to be, shallow me up today! This event that the past has wanted, it is what I have deserved; my sanity will remain in this way.

I didn´t want to go back there, neither reasons I had to do that, too late to retake that, this guard has solved his surrender.

Let each bubble of my breath remember with firmament, for honour and loyalty that I have been giving, guarantee me a worthy drowning and see everything that came and went.

This continent I have promised to defend, and if a cold death is approaching, in this strong wind I am affirming, I´ve arrived at a good age for this to end.

Go ahead the water to become my next mess; neither this guard has nothing to fear for sure nor I won´t forget that soft pleasure, show me my failure that I ´ve got with this tiredness!

If death is all I have as my guide, with this degraded golden armour, no griffon I will see, no duty I will get to receive, my glasses will accept its presence with pride.

Remember the loss of a character that never existed in this escape; inside the minds of a few I will live, no hope will be recovered for being naïve, proud for ending in this lonely yet beautiful landscape.

My will and my breath hold my body, the huge waves are approaching wildly alive and my lungs are going to run out of time, courage is what I am showing for becoming a nobody.

Alone in this world I fall, I have everything to remember up to this lonely trip, my pleasures didn´t detour this sinking ship, and with all my dignity… I go…


The end of an era


Well, I have said goodbye to the earthly world. After being dragged by a huge wave, it shows that my tiredness never left my body. It was there, latent and now, when I need it more than ever, it seems that I have truly given up.

If I had troubles for reaching the rock where I was placed, the effort that I would have to do in order to stay afloat looks distant and even more unlikely trying to reach the coast. So this confirms my end, is it?

After all, wasn´t this what I had desired back then during the holidays? Didn´t I say that I was really comfortable while I was laying back in the sea? I had life vest that was keeping afloat and I could enjoy those moments. Here, however, I wear golden armour that serves me to sink my whole body even more, guaranteeing this torture. I suppose that one should be careful in his wish because at the end of the day, I deserve what it is happening to me.

I have a sense that I could have lived this before, or is my mind tricking me again, losing consciousness because of being here down below? I don´t want to open my eyes because I already know what I am going to find: a mix between the void and the air left that I am sending off very soon.

If no pony felt like visiting a desert, less reasons they would have at going where I am located. It´s what the south represents and again, I understand why no one has dared to come over here…because it would mean their perdition. There is no around me that could listen to me while saying this and…despite this experience that has strengthen me in terms of experience and willingness, I believe that I have taken the middle path.

I decided to open my eyes and I found what I had expected: everything was dark blue and I saw no surface at all so I could come up there, my chances were doomed from the very beginning even though I must say the ambient here is different…it wouldn´t be difficult to swim in these depths but all the weight I carry takes away any fluid quick moves.

I am lost, I don´t think that I need to lose my last energies in describing my physical condition  and I´ve finally admitted that all the years my youth won´t come back anymore…and they will end as soon as they don´t stay afloat and reach the bottom…

Water has become a blessing because I have reached finally the end point but it also represents the curse that I exactly needed.

What´s worse is that I might have seen a distant shadow before closing my eyes for one last time. It had a considerable size so if it´s a shark or something that sees me as its lunchtime, I certainly know what will await me after exhaling the last breath.

Don´t think about it BlueStar and let´s just end this defeat because if I keep postponing this, I might suffer something worse as long as I stay conscious.

I have to think about you, for one last time Cloud Zapper; I did this just because I lost the main base for moving forward. I have taken these useless risks because I was curious towards the unknown and now… I am finally paying for those damages that I allowed to happen…
I can barely think for myself so it means…that I have nothing little to nothing to expel… so I can finally conclude my curiosity…and my life…


*BlueStar closes his eyes and the screen becomes dark.
*Several successive noises show up.


Stella


Hmmm, it´s weird that I am still capable to think, why am I thinking right now? I am hearing sounds out there and I don´t want to know what´s going on there because the aquatic world can become quite unkind. Maybe I´ve gone too far and somehow I thinking all over again because…

“Aaaaaw” I gasped as I took a breath of…air?

I am noticing that something isn´t working here as it usually does. Somehow I can breathe all of a sudden and I still have my eyes closed but it seems that my face doesn´t collide with the dense water. I still feel uneasy because I am still alive and something undesirable could happen to me because of that strange shadow I saw and…

*A fizz sounded around BlueStar´s face and another noise came within his entire body.

Wait a moment, what am I hearing right now? And what´s worse, why are all these new noises coming out inside my body? Those unusual noises have also come back around my face and they sound like they would come from a magical spell. My face is sensing the dense water flowing and I feel that heaviness all over again. Not only that but I feel that my body isn´t quite the same and if these strange feelings aren´t enough…

I can breathe...underwater… well, BlueStar maybe you are having hallucinations. What happens in Equestria isn´t very normal to begin with but this…this must be a dream. Given that I haven´t deceased yet, I will try to move and stop letting myself sink because I have to know what is truly happening here. First, I have to open my eyes again, asking myself what I should next and…:

“Wow!” I stood absolutely astonished for a while. “Impossible! It cannot be true!” I wasn´t capable to believe the whole situation I was seeing here.

 I had a great fish tail, yellow fins in my front hooves and I had lost completely my two back hooves. This was unexpected, I tried to test this new body and it offered what I had imagined out of it:

“I…I can move with ease and I am wearing the heavy golden armour, how have I turned into this? How is it possible? It´s incredible” I thought to myself aloud.

“Surprised? If I were you, I would react like that as well.” Someone said with a giggle.

“Wait, who´s there?” I asked taken aback. “Show yourself.” I affirmed.

With swiftness, a lilac mare appeared gracefully. She had the same body as mine, her fins were pink, her front hooves were yellow, had a yellow mane, pointy ears, purple eyes and something that caught my attention: she was wearing a seashell necklace. She was beautiful and I was amazed that she actually appeared out of nowhere, presenting herself to a faraway stranger.

“Erm…this is…also unexpected” I said to her awkwardly. I didn´t know what to say and it shows that I am still perplexed of everything that has been happening here.

“Well, it is about time that you´ve decided to wake up, isn´t it?  I mean, I perfectly know that sleeping underwater is very comfortable but for a unicorn like you, that looks risky, don´t you think?”  She said to me.

After hearing this, I am starting to believe that all I thought while standing on that rock before was in vein. I repeat, if it weren´t because of the glasses that deliver an intellectual impression, Cloud Zapper would be right about me at being a fool.

“Well, sleeping comfortably here wasn´t what I was looking for exactly” I answered with hesitation.

“Don´t tell me that you were seeking for suffocation here…because if that was true, the queen wouldn´t approve it at all” she said to me with amazement.

“Well… uh? What queen? Do you have a kingdom here?” I asked her.

“Ah, I´m sorry, I understand that you are confused. The hippogriffs hadn´t shown up out there until we did recently this week. We went to Canterlot so we could rescue Princess Skystar from The Storm King. And indeed, we have a queen named Novo. She leads both the Mount Aris and Seaquestria” she responded.

“So, you live in a mount as well? And where is it? Because I didn´t see it before up there in the coast” I asked.

“Maybe you were in the east area and that big cliff prevented you from seeing it. That might have given you the impression that there wasn´t such a place” she answered. “Still, you are quite lucky that I have been wandering around here looking for peculiar shells around this part of the sea. If I hadn´t seen you just in time, the queen would have been really upset” she continued.

“Why?” I asked.

“After rescuing the princess and having a big party, the queen met Princess Celestia. Novo promised that neither ponies nor strangers would have a bad time in the sea near where we live. She has recently decided to make touristic plans and she wants to get recognition from other parts of Equestria and it would give a bad image if ponies like you met “the other side”” she said.  “These accidents would make things more difficult for her and that almost happened to a princess called Twilight Sparkle. I guess we´ll have to get used to them” She continued.

“So, I´ve almost messed it up” I said to her, assuming the awaiting blame on me.

“Yes but it was easy to see you. You wear a glossy golden armour that stands out from the distance so it was easy to spot you. Now that I mention your armour, you could almost impersonate as one of the guards from here” she admitted.

I opened up my eyes entirely. My interest increased up to heavenly levels after hearing that.

“Other ponies wear no armour at all and that seeing them would be a little bit harder. Even though, that armour looks quite heavy, I wonder how you can even swim as a unicorn with that attached to your body. Unless you were strong enough to carry it, you wouldn´t stay much time swimming on the surface.” she affirmed.

“Oh, actually, I am wearing it because I am a royal guard of Canterlot. Well, I was one of them until I failed for not attending a mission and left my unit aside” I affirmed to her with a half-truth.

“Interesting” she giggled a little bit. “You know, after recovering the Mount Aris this week, we don´t have as many guards that watch for the aquatic throne. Nearly all the important events have happened up there in the mount” she continued.

“So, could you lead to the queen? I would like to meet her” I asked enthusiastic.

 “Sure even though I think that she is not going to treat us as nicely as she could do. She might have had a smile for a couple of days after meeting Celestia but recently, I´ve seen her worried about the pending railways that connect Mount Aris with Canterlot” she answered.

“Wait, does this mean that the railway I found in the desert was built this week?” I asked.

“Aham. Even though, she doesn´t seem convinced at all because the train could be left halfway there. She has been asking for help from Celestia and Luna these days. She ordered a few hippogriffs to Canterlot this morning just to receive all the advice and agree on a solution for a safer route. She´s been obsessed at making everything safe lately” she said.

“So I have anticipated myself a little bit, have I?” I asked.

“Yes. But it doesn´t matter because you are here transformed. You seem so interested in this place that you could serve as a pioneer before opening the station. You must have had a bad time though. It isn´t easy to get to this place considering the big desert and the industrial town full of thieves.” she affirmed.

 “I didn´t go to that town actually. But, how do you know about it if you were here until not long ago?” I asked.

“The queen takes everything into account lately. Before this week, she always stayed bored in her throne, now she is not ceasing the activity after all these changes. Although if we talk about changes, yours doesn´t fall short at all. You should have seen your face when you realized that you were transformed into a seapony” she said while laughing.

“Eh!” I exclaimed while she kept laughing for a short while. Then I thought about what she said. “But, how have I become in one of them?”
“Well, first I put you a bubble helmet around your face for ensuring you were alright and then I used this necklace so you could adapt the same body that we all have underwater, making that bubble to disappear. The queen has delivered one necklace for each one of us” she responded.

“So that explains the weird noises…” I said. “This body…I feel really light with it” I affirmed after swimming a little bit around, testing how much my moves have changed after the transformation.

“Your reaction is natural. One has to move everywhere here and the sea is huge. You will adapt to this change quickly” She affirmed. “So, you want to see the queen, do you?” She asked me.

“Yes, of course” I said with a sense of relief. “By the way, we have talked a lot but you haven´t told your name yet” I added.

“Oh sorry, I haven´t introduced myself. I am Stella; I am not very popular here in the kingdom. I am too much into my own thing so I wander around the surroundings quite often. And you, blue unicorn, what´s your name?” she asked.

“I am Bluestar and like you, I didn´t stand out much in my unit from Canterlot either” I confessed.

“BlueStar, how funny, that name sounds like it could perfectly come from here because the princess has almost the same name as yours. What a coincidence” she smiled.

“Honestly, it´s quite funny to think about it…” I answered while staying thoughtful about that curiosity.

“Well, are you ready to swim to the throne room?” Stella asked.

“Yes, I am. Let´s go there” I answered and we swam towards the kingdom.


The almost irreversible decision


As we were approaching the throne room, I was left speechless by what I was seeing in front of my eyes, those hanging houses looked like lamps, the lightness that this new body offered despite the tiredness I ´ve had for this quest and…after meeting Stella and the process of assimilating the changes, I forgot about my problems for a while, almost as though they had vanished. This place could impress lots of ponies, even a princess like Celestia.

It´s like everything that I had to pay for the unit has paid off. It´s true that there was another world in the sound and if Stella is right, I am one of the first ponies that has managed to reach this place. While Cantelot might have its charm, this place isn´t all that crowded, only the bottom serves a reunion point for most of the seaponies around here. Most of them were wearing a seashell necklace and now that I think about it, they don´t look all that different from me save the see through wings. The differences might be bigger on land so I have to think about a plan as soon as I talk to the queen.

We entered into the throne room and there she was, laying back on it. I cannot tell if she is tired, bored or bitter. Her face doesn´t seem to show much interest towards anything but despite my initial impressions, Stella was willing to present me to her.

“Greetings Queen Novo” Stella nodded for short while. “I am here to present this blue unicorn that was swimming in the east zone of Seaquestria” she said.

“Ah well, he seems fine, he doesn´t need the transformation from my part, dear.” The queen said uninterested.

“Well, my queen, the truth is…” she stopped for a while. She was about to confess what happened. ” …that he almost drowned and says that he has been working as a royal guard for princess Celestia” Stella continued. As soon as she heard that, the queen changed her mood completely and stood up, abandoning her throne.

 “What? Who dares to almost risk his life from a distant place like Canterlot just to come over here without finishing the railways? Don´t you know that there is a desolate desert in the middle that is giving me troubles to connect it with that city? Tell me your name and explain me your motives to get here” the queen asked grumpy while she was showing signs of worry about her project as well.

“Well, your majesty, I am BlueStar. I didn´t want to ruin the image of this place. I simply didn´t find it before meeting Stella. My intentions are that I have been looking for a replacement as southern royal guard instead of fulfilling my duties on Canterlot”. I responded.

“And how is it possible that you are only coming here just to offer your duties here? Couldn´t you wait a few days more before finishing the train station?” the queen asked.

“I couldn´t contain myself, your majesty.  I was really looking forward to checking out this place and I am willing to accomplish my duties under your orders” I answered firmly.

“And how do I know that you are willing to be under my command? How can you prove that you are worthy to gain my trust and put it on you lightly, and not steal the pearl like someone else did a few days ago?” the queen asked.

“Well, if you want to prove that I am worthy to gain your trust is that I have been working for Celestia for years, your majesty. Besides, I have a question about the seashell necklaces; they transform the holders whenever they want, am I right?” I asked.

“Yes, but why are you asking me about that right now?” Novo asked with hesitation.

“Because just to show you my loyalty… I am capable to stay in a permanent form without those necklaces” I affirmed with confidence.

Both Stella and Novo were astounded by what I have just said. Their eyes were wide open, proving that none of them saw this coming.

“Are you sure that you want to go that far? You are asking me that you want to join here with all it takes, even more than I imagined” the queen answered without knowing exactly what to say.

“Well, I know you are surprised with what I´ve said but I am just proving how far my interest is for this place. Just like you asked, your majesty” I said firmly like an experienced guard would act in this case.

“Well, it means that I have to use the pearl on you for that permanence. I am noticing a lot of conviction from your words; you are decided to take the charge as a royal guard. Despite your risky anticipation, I admit that there aren´t as many guards here watching for the throne as there were in the past… almost all of them have decided to stay on the mount and Seaquestria has been a little bit emptier these days…” Novo said while she was thoughtful. “I cannot reproach your request” she admitted and stayed silent for a moment. “Just give me a moment” she said and went to catch the pearl placed above her throne.

“Are you sure about compromising yourself to the queen? Keep in mind that you are renouncing to go back on earth if you do that” Stella asked me with a quiet voice.

“I am absolutely convinced, Stella. Everything is going to be fine, trust me” I responded her.

“Well, Bluestar. I am telling you how it works. The permanent form without a necklace means that you cannot go back to your original form. You would need the rays from this pearl and the necklace so you could return to it” Novo said. “I admire your willingness and submission for this place despite not knowing how this will work out. Something is telling me that it´s not proper of me to do this drastic decision towards any individual” she continued.

“I don´t believe that this decision is going to lead to a bad place, your majesty” I answered.

“Well, there you have the permanent form” she concluded and started to handle the pearl.

The pearl began to shine with orange rays and they ended up surrounding my entire my body. I closed my eyes and during the process, I wasn´t feeling any physical change but I knew that something in me was dying: this firmness wasn´t the usual manner I showed back then in Canterlot. This decision could be the most decisive one that I have taken for years and the change is almost irreversible. I have decided to accept this new condition.

The pearl ceased the discharge of those orange rays and I took a breath, opening my eyes just to look around as though I was starting all over again.

“Well BlueStar, welcome to my kingdom” the queen said and I nodded. “For now, I will have to check what houses are empty for you to pick among them but as you might have seen before, they aren´t all that varied” she admitted. “I believe that you and Stella seem to get along, you can stay with her in the meantime” she continued.

“Really? That´s great!” Stella responded with a smile.

“I approve that idea, your majesty” I answered.

“Well, it seems that there is nothing else to do” the queen said. “But BlueStar…” she added. “I want to tell you that if I see you are actually loyal to the kingdom; I can use the pearl again on you whenever you want so you could come back to Canterlot. I am not capable to ground my daughter for one single day, much less I can do that to any lifetime of my people” she confessed.

“Your majesty, I am sure that I can prove that loyalty over time” I affirmed.

“Good. Having said that, Stella, Bluestar, you both can leave” she said.

We left the throne room and went to Stella´s house. I believe that I will adapt to this pretty quickly. Still, my decision has been taken and so does my stability. I haven´t had such high self- esteem since the vacations. It´s quite an achievement to have survived all this and be accepted because of my confidence. Finally, I get a bit of peace and comfort.

However, I will have to say the truth to Stella because it´s quite difficult to hide eternally what I have desired in reality. Not only with her, there´s another one left as well…


Two weeks later…


It´s been two weeks since I settled here and honestly, I´ve gained that trust pretty fast and as a result, I have been assigned to watch for the main entrance of Novo´s throne room.

Because of the awaited train station’s inauguration, today is a special day both for Novo and Celestia. The queen was really eager to finish the progress of those railways and considering that she has been ordering most of her crew to build it, she has managed to end it really soon. However, she hasn´t lost that face of worry and Stella told me that there were rumours about something private around her family.

Whether it´s true or not, I am simply focused in what I have to do. Nonetheless, watching for this place is far easier than Canterlot and because of this, my age is grateful of that lack of stress, not to mention that moving around hasn´t been a problem at all for me.

While they were visiting Seaquestria and entering together into the throne room, I saw someone who was familiar to me and was getting closer towards my position. I knew that sooner or later this day would come; Cloud Zapper was accompanying the princess.  It doesn´t matter if he appears as a Pegasus, a seapony, a changeling or whatever, it´s the same commander I have dealt with for a long time.

He finished his task of accompanying the princess until the throne room and he stood watching for the entrance as well. It´s time to tidy up the loose ends, even though he has stood with surprise when he looked at me from the distance. Now that he is next to me, he is willing to talk…

“BlueStar! It´s true that you were alive, what are you doing here?” Cloud Zapper asked.

“Hi, Cloud Zapper. You know, I´ve been doing what I used to do Canterlot. It makes no difference, I suppose”. I answered with indifference.

“But, you are not from here. Your horn and lack of wings show that you don´t belong here. Also, you are wearing the same golden armour that you were using in Canterlot” he affirmed.

“I know Cloud Zapper. I perfectly noticed that as soon as I came here. But, what offer did I have back then? Don´t tell me to go to the Crystal Empire…because we both know what have done over there” I answered.

“Well, erm..” He didn´t know what to answer. “Look, we have been worried about you since you left. We thought that you were heading to Ponyville or Manehattan but we didn´t think that you were going for a trip to the south alone” he confessed. “We knew about your state a couple of days ago when Queen Novo reported that there was a guard from Canterlot in her crew” he continued. “I came here with Celestia voluntarily just to see if that was true” he said.

“And they were right. I accepted the charge unconditionally” I affirmed.

“I notice that you have changed BlueStar. You are way more serious than usual, please tell me that this isn´t a personal against me” Cloud Zapper confessed.

“It isn´t, you can be relieved that it isn´t. I will put neither the blame on you nor retaliations because of that reunion we had. I admitted that despite your bad temper and that discredit I received there, I wouldn´t avenge towards you personally. In the end, you were only following the established conditions that justified those consequences” I answered.

“Well, about that…there is something that you should know…” he said.

I was left staring at his face; he was somewhat hurt because of that.

“When The Storm King attacked Canterlot…there weren´t any guards to defend the princesses. They were petrified because they had defended it for themselves in the first line. The guards and I could take action when they almost conquered the entire city and our support was non-existent” he said.

“So, if I had been present there…” I was going to answer.

“…it would have been as useless as ours.” Cloud Zapper finished. “It was a thorn in the side for me because that gave a really bad image to the army…again. I was fed up of receiving criticism of being useless” he confessed.

“Then, the royal guards of Canterlot are still a joke, right?” I asked him.

“Maybe there will be more mediums for increasing the security in certain passages near the throne but the efficiency…” he took a breath “…is still the same.” He confessed. “Because of that, despite the conditions for the charge, we can readmit you again in the army. We were too strict at applying it” he affirmed.

I was left a little bit thoughtful after hearing that. I´ll have to take care of what I am saying to him right now:

“Cloud Zapper, I have something to confess as well” I affirmed. “I have nothing against you really. However, you had to know that Canterlot was too stressful for me, lots of things were happening in so little time and you know, the guards weren´t all that ideal. The pleasures were alright, but my health and my stability was taken away from me that day” I answered.

“What are you trying to tell me with that?” he asked.

"I´ve almost faced death after going through a vast desert and being carried over by violent waves. You´ll understand that I cannot be the same after having this experience” I continued.

“You were about to die? How did you dare to do such a crazy move like that?” he asked with surprise.

“You know, it isn´t all that hard to see it after feeling unwelcome in Canterlot and my house was taken away from me. Since then, I had nothing left to lose. You knew that I am a one trick pony. This charge is what I have known in my life. I simply took the risk at discovering the south, it almost took my life and now, I am talking to you. I had simply accepted an offer I didn´t have that day. I have been born again” I affirmed.

“I am speechless, BlueStar. That´s why you are so serious now…” he said.

“Indeed. And here I am, trying to prove my loyalty in my charge” I responded.

“So, all this means that we are never going to see ourselves again?” he asked.

“Well, I´ve met someone else here and you should do it yourself” I responded.

“So, are you staying because of a relationship? Are you going to flirt again with the mares again around here?” Cloud Zapper asked.

“I believe that…those pleasures won´t come back. I might have doubts about returning to Canterlot but that one surely won´t.” I affirmed.

“So it´s true that you are being more serious this time” he said.

“Actually, the queen hasn´t been disappointed by my duties yet and for this place, I don´t do need you around. I can handle this on my own” I said.

“Are you going to stay under her rule eternally?” he asked.

“I still serve for her and for Celestia as well because I am working for the defence of Equestria. I don´t know how long I will stay here but I cannot complain about it at all” I affirmed.

“Fortunately you are alright after all. I hope that you can handle it nicely here but we know that someone has been missing in the unit these days” he admitted.

“Considering that the train station is open, it doesn´t mean that we cannot see ourselves. I have no problem with that. The only thing that has changed, Cloud Zapper, is that you are no longer my commander” I affirmed.

“I guess that you are right. It is a nice place, I might spend a few days off here…just like you did, right?” he smiled a little bit.

“Yes” I laughed a little bit as well. “But those were different times Cloud Zapper, just don´t worry about me because I have been fine after that complicated day” I continued.

“And that´s a good thing” he responded.

 Both the queen and Celestia were exiting the throne room´s entrance. It was time to go for Cloud Zapper.

“Well, it seems that I am leaving. It was a relief to see you again” he admitted.

“Me too, Cloud Zapper” I answered.

“Just promise me one thing, BlueStar” he said.

 “What is it?” I asked with hesitation.

“Make your commander proud” he said to me, while he was shaking his left hoof.

“I will do it, sir” I responded, shaking mine as well.

“I sense that you can do it” he concluded.

We nodded our heads among ourselves like royal guards we were. After that, he and both royal figures were heading to the entrance of Seaquestria, slowly disappearing while there were emerging to the surface.

 So, that was it for my commander. I guess that after confessing my thoughts with him today, given that I am in the mood for it and have my personal doubts of coming back to Canterlot, I believe that she must know the truth…


The yellow pony of Manehattan


It was a little bit late for coming back home because of Celestia´s visit. I was absolutely tired but everything falls short in tiredness in comparison to that infamous day. Even with that, I was fluidly swimming back to Stella´s home; I have been improving my moves despite having low energies in my body. There hasn´t been a single day in which she hasn´t shown her smile for these two weeks, I don´t know how she manages to do it. But now, it´s time to decide what I should do with her:

“Hi Stella, I am back” I said while entering.

“BlueStar, you finally came. How did Celestia´s visit go?” she asked.

“Everything went alright, don´t worry about that” I responded.

“You don´t sound as enthusiastic as other days” she said.

“Well, the visit went fine and it was eventful but…” I said and stood silent for a moment.

“What´s the matter, BlueStar? Is there anything going on?” she asked.

“Well, I have met my commander of my unit, Cloud Zapper. I had to clear up a few things with him today…” I stopped. “...and with you as well” I continued.

“BlueStar, what happened? What do you have to tell me?” she responded me worried.

“Look Stella, it might sound crazy but….I am not the exemplary guard that you have seen so assure of himself for these couple weeks. I didn´t have as much cavalry back then in Canterlot as I have shown here with you. In fact, I wasn´t all that independent because all I was doing there was for my pleasures, good times and…well, having impudent moments with other guards” I confessed.

“So you weren´t like the way you act with me… Then, how did you come here and act so different from what you are telling me?” Stella asked.

“Actually Stella, I could go back pretty soon to Canterlot. Novo has been showing me good signs about what I have been doing here. The option of staying as a permanent seapony could end after the inauguration of this train station” I said. “Cloud Zapper has offered to me the opportunity to readmit me there and pretend that nothing has happened” I continued.

“Then, why are you here? The train station is available for you to go back. You can have those pleasures like you used to have there” she responded.

“I denied his offer” I answered.

“How? I don´t understand it. You have to make a greater effort here with the queen, why are you doing this?” she asked with surprise.
I noticed her changed of mood and she was affected for what I have said.

“Well, Stella, it´s somewhat difficult to explain directly so let me tell you a little story first, because I believe that I have come to realize the value I got from that experience” I affirmed.

“Well, I am listening but I don´t get what has to do that with us” she responded.

“I know and I am still asking what happened there. When I was a royal guard a few moons ago…”

*Flashback starts

Beyond the bridges of Manehattan, I was meant to watch for Princess Celestia with my unit, including Cloud Zapper, for a couple of days. She had to visit a fashion show in which all the high class ponies showed the designs prepared for her because the Great Galloping Gala was going to be celebrated in the following week in Canterlot. That fashion was pretty popular in the city and we had to go through lots of streets and a few avenues.

When we were getting closer to the fashion show, I saw a yellow pony, an earth pony actually. He was painting a picture and I happened to look at it. I stopped and stared more at it because it caught my attention and I have never seen anything like that so far.

The picture didn´t make much sense to me at the time. I don´t remember all the main forms there because those weren´t ponies except for one that looked green.  I remember seeing a griffon as well but I didn´t have any idea who the other four were. They were smiling and talking to each other, walking on the main avenue of Manehattan, that´s all I can remember correctly. There were a few ponies in both sides of that picture but there weren´t showing their faces to the viewer…they were more focused on leaving the main avenue and living their own lives.

So a few questions started to arise in my head but I had one in particular, so I went and said:

“Excuse me sir, can I ask you a question about your picture?” I asked that yellow pony.

The painter looked at me with so much indifference that he didn´t endure for a single second at looking at me, almost as if he didn´t pay attention to what I had just said. He looked at his picture again and:

“What´s your name, royal guard?” the painter asked me.

“BlueStar, sir” I affirmed with hesitation. I was wondering why he wanted my name for such a casual spontaneous conversation.
 “What question do you have in mind?” the painter asked.

“Well, there are a few things that I don´t understand from his picture but I cannot hold myself at asking you this. You know, the streets of Manehattan are actually dark green and I would like to know, why are the roads coloured black?”  I asked the painter.

He stayed a little bit thoughtful and he said: “BlueStar, it´s because Equestrians leave and no highway will bring them back”

And he didn´t answer more because Cloud Zapper shouted at me that I was being left behind my unit. I had to catch up with them. I didn´t understand what he meant with that phrase back then…

*Flashback ends.

“….but I believe that I understand it now” I concluded.

Stella was left astonished and I wasn´t sure if it was because of that line or the fact that I had brought up this short story.
“What are you trying to tell me with that, BlueStar?” Stella asked.

“Look Stella, I hate to confess but you should that I have always been looking for myself and back then, when I was standing on the rock before getting carried over by those waves, I wasn´t doing it for love. I was looking for my pleasures and stability for the rest of my life…because I have an age and I am certainly noticing the consequences of that process” I confessed.

“And why are you even staying here? Don´t you have other places to go instead?” she said in the verge of crying.

“No, Stella, you don´t understand. I am still here. I could go to the house I have picked here for working and I could perfectly do it on my own but...” I said.

“But what do you mean with that? You haven´t told me anything yet…” Stella responded.

“But I am here because of compromise and gratitude” I continued.

She changed a little bit her expression and she started to be a little bit conflicted with what I was saying to her.

“I am here because I was given a second chance. I didn´t imagine back then that I would make it and live an aquatic life. I didn´t think for a moment that all this was actually possible. When things were desperate for me, you came and made me forget about those troubles. You didn´t do anything extraordinary I know but when someone feels that level hopelessness, any help at those times actually encourages a pony like me to move forward” I said.

“So you were hiding all your pains the day you came here?” she asked.

“Yes Stella but I cannot handle it anymore” I admitted.

“Why? Why are you telling me this now?” Stella asked.

“Because now that I have confessed myself with my commander; I feel like having to clear up all these secrets with you as well. I don´t feel like saying half-truths anymore to you. I might have seen lots of corrupted guards or fakers out there and in comparison to what I have experienced, you are the only mare I have met who is truly honest and true” I said.

“Well, that was unexpected to hear. I know that I have had a good education but I still ask myself, why are you so convinced about everything you are confessing right now? Why are you so confident about this? ” she affirmed.

“You know, my mind is a mess but I truly believe that no one deserves two lives. I was meant to end there before receiving the transformation. All this feels like a bonus to me” I said. “And Stella… I promise not to linger this if you don´t want to. I could have perfectly left you with this inauguration or even last week when I got the option to live in another house” I continued.

 “So are you decided to stay here?” she asked.

“You simply happened to appear in my life. I wasn´t looking forward to you back in the verge of dying but now, all my appreciation shown because of  that simple yet important gesture…is proven with what I have been experiencing along with you for these couple of weeks. It´s the least that I could do for you” I admitted.

“You know, BlueStar…” she stood for a while. “I could also live independently as well but, considering that…barely anyone actually watches me going down here in the depths of the sea and given that I am not popular here, I have been feeling a little bit of warmth these days with you. It´s as though I don´t truly matter for them but I matter to you” she said.

“I…I have felt like that as well in the past. I understand where you are coming from” I responded.

“I know that there are some things one can´t hide but I normally try to do it, yet I fail at doing that. Now you know why I like swimming around the surroundings instead of living in the mount” Stella confessed.

“I forgot to tell you Stella that I am also here because I found Canterlot too stressful to my taste and I couldn´t bear with it. I think that we have a few things in common here” I affirmed.

“So are you staying here with me?” she asked.

“I…I will have to think about it” I said with hesitation.

“Why? Is it because you are planning to go back to Canterlot?” she asked.

“Not exactly, it´s simply that I am not meant to be here, I mean others could judge us for hanging out between a unicorn and a mare like you. And what if I returned over there? What would my unit think about it?” I asked nervous and unsecure.

“Why are you even worried about that? We mean nothing to them, it doesn´t matter. It´s all up to what you do in the end. No one is going to judge nor is going to interfere with us. You wanted a stability and a calm life, why aren´t you decided to finish all the steps yet?” she asked.

“I don´t know Stella. I am tired; I have been confused so many times during that day and now with these two conversations that I don´t have a clear with what to do next. I simply went along with all that was happening and I didn´t behave like this until not long ago. Just let me rest tonight, I need a little bit of time to decide about my future. Neither maybe tomorrow nor next week, who knows…” I said doubtful.

“Well, BlueStar. Whatever you do next, I will support you. You have been truly brave for saying all this to me and I am surprised that you weren´t like this in the past. If that painter was right, it would mean that the one BlueStar I have known doesn´t belong there…” Stella said.

“I know and you even told me that my name could have come from this place. Look Stella, I need to sleep. I know that you have been feeling a rollercoaster of emotions now with me but… my eyes are making an effort to stay open and answer you. But yes, for now I am staying here with you if you feel better” I affirmed.

“It´s fine BlueStar, I am feeling better actually. You should get some sleep and maybe those won´t come but someday you will have to decide it” she concluded.

“I know it, Stella, I know…Goodnight honey” I said.

“Sleep well, dear” Stella responded.

 I left the room and while sleeping underwater doesn´t require a bed; seaponies do follow the traditional way of life that I have known in Canterlot. Nothing can change the comfort that a soft bed offers to anyone, I suppose.

Well, I finally got to bed and it seems that I am leaving these two crucial days behind. In the end, the permanent state is going to end someday and I know it. But whenever that day comes, what will I say? Will it even manage to happen? Maybe I will forget about and I simply pass uneventful days without realizing it. I mean, I don´t like seeing Stella with that sadness shown in her face so my compromise should make her happy enough for now.

I won´t have my long term plans clear but at least, I am still alive fortunately and this ambient no longer bothers me at all. What a twist! Who could even imagine sleeping here with calm surroundings like these? Sure, it´s not perfect but it´s close to dream up a perfect miracle, or at least, it was for the average pony until now.

I feel bad for Stella, I don´t want to leave her heart broken after spending these days with her. I am still not sure what to do with her but I will keep going without thinking about it too much.

But before I close my eyes completely, I have to say something to Cloud Zapper and the unit. I might not feel any remorse at all towards you or any pony anymore, you are welcome to meet me again but...I would like to remind that whatever thing happens between me and Stella stays in private between us.

So, Cloud Zapper, I would like to have some room to breathe and decide your offer on my own; I will need my time to think about it. However, as the days pass I might not need that offer…I am slowly finding it less necessary in my eyes...


So, commander… please don´t call…


…please don´t call…



L23