Fortunes

"You will finally get over it ... no one would notice few extra pounds!",
"Remember that cheese you had with your lunch ... yeah ... you will regret it in about 2 hour time!",
"It's not the dress ... It's you ... that is looking adorbs!",
"Have you consider shaving your mustache?",
"No she does not know you have a crush on her!",
"Loans are generally a bad idea ... especially for you!",
"Your credit score will change soon!",
"You are dying ... We all are! Welcome to adulthood!",
"You can't lose weight by eating things! Don't pay for medication that tell you otherwise!",
"It is lame! Don't @ me!",
"You'll find a pleasant surprise when you join our cookie lord's fleet in stream Raiders!",
"You shall go cookie-less soon! stock up!",
"Today is your lucky day! You are arbitrarily more lucky today than you were yesterday!",
"Odds are more in your favor today by an insignificant margin!",
"Clean your room! this is not even a fortune ... Your room looks filthy!",
"You will snore in your sleep tonight! Warn your loved ones!",
"Don't do drugs!",
"Don't try to justify your poor life decisions by superstition!",
"He isn't cheating, it's just you are bad at video games!",
"You will run into players in the next room! Reload before proceeding!",
"You're actions will be consequential to the result of your match!",
"Hey your mom expects a phone call from you soon or she will be very mad!",
"eeeew! Wash your hands!",
"Not a chance dude!",
"Honestly I don't know! Have you tried turning it off and then back on again?",
"Huh ... That's a no from me ... but if I were you I'd ask the !horoscope too"