Miscast - Chapter 9

>Day 14 in Equestria

"Rarity...it's...too tight..."
>You struggle against the small hole.
>"C'mon, force it in there, I need you to do this!"
"I'm not sure it'll fit..."
>"Just shove it in all the way in there!"
>A wave of relief rushes over you as you finally force your head in.
>"Well darling...how does it feel?"
"It's warm, that's for sure...and soft..."
>"Is that a...good thing?"
"For this? Absolutely."
>"I'm glad you like it!"
"The hole's a bit small though."
>"My bad, sometimes I forget how big you are..."

>You gotta admit, the sweater looks fabulous on you.
>You've been helping Rarity with her newest clothing line, Hu-magnifique, styles of clothes that were inspired by, well, you.
>Apparently the Manehattan exhibition went swimmingly, and they want more.
>Though she is still mastering the art of human measurements.
>You take off the sweater and fold it neatly alongside her other pieces.
>Of all the clothes you've tried, the pants she makes are bar-none.
>They should be, too! The main point of the line is the introduction of pants.
>"Ready for more?"
"Of course."
>You're more than willing to help her get more clothes ready.
>After all, she gives all the you-sized clothes to...you.
>For free.
>She levitates a new pair of pants over to you behind the screen.
>You slide them on with ease.
>They feel a bit breezy.
>You look in the back, there's a huge hole in it!
>It's not just a hole...
>The pants seem to have no back.
"Uhh, Rarity, did you not finish these?"
>"Oh no darling, those are a special pair for p0nies who still want to flaunt their cutie marks!"
>Assless chaps.
>You're popularizing assless chaps.

>You come out from the screen, normal clothes intact.
>"I still don't see why you need that silly screen."
"If I wouldn't need it, why would you have it?"
>Touche.
>"...well, you make a very valid point..."
"You bet I do. Is that all ya needed for the day?"
>"Why yes it was, Anon. Be sure to stop by anytime!"
"I'll plan on it, thanks."
>And with that, you leave Carousel Boutique.
>Hope she hits it just as big in Cantorlot...
>Now, what to do with the rest of your day?
>You promised yourself you weren't going drinking with Rainbow.
>Again.
>However, it is high time you check up on this 'going home' business.
>You walk over to Twilight's treefort of solitude.
>As you stride up to the door, you can hear crashing and banging going on inside.
>Oh god what is she doing now.
>With reluctancy, you knock on the door.
>...
>No response...
>Try again.
>...
>You hear pitter-patter of small feet run up to the door from the other side.
>It opens up, and your favorite housemaid Spike is there.
>"Oh, hey Anon!"
>Little guy has his apron on again.
>Poor kid.

"Hey Spike. What was all that banging I hear earlier?"
>Spike darts his glance away from you.
>"Twilight's a bit...nyeh...right now."
>Twilight walks in the room.
>"SPIKE! I need you to send another letter! 'Dear Princess GOOD FOR NOTHING...'"
>She sees you.
>"Oh, hey Anon."
"Hi...you alright?"
>"NO! I am NOT alright."
>Twilight looks pretty fucking depressed.
>You walk in and take a seat, ready to hear her problems.
>"Princess BUCKING Celestia has yet to respond to any of my letters!"
>You've only seen her respond to one to begin with...
"Is this out of the norm?"
>"YES!!!"
>She nearly explodes saying that.
>"She always always always had an answer for me..."
>And now she flips to depressed.
>"But right now she could care less!"
>And now she's crying.
>Wow. Never realized how important this Princess bitch was.
>What is she doing with all those letters?

>Meanwhile, in Cantorlot...

>"You dirty cheating slut!"
>Luna tosses a controller at Celestia.
>"How DARE you look at my side of the screen!"
>Celestia scoffs.
>"Like I'd need to see where YOU are to win. If anything, watching you would make me play WORSE."
>The royal sisters just finished a match of Call of Cutie: Modern Warmare 3.
>Luna finally gives.
>"Fine, whatever...fuckin' cheater."
>Celestia just strides around the couch triumphantly.
>"Don't you have some letters to send or some shit?"
>Celestia turns to the corner of the room.
>There's a pile of letters on the ground that's easily higher than the couch.
>"Ugh...Twilight Spazz keeps worrying about that whatever-it-is in P0nyville."
>"Whatever it is? You don't even know WHAT they're dealing with?"
>"Fuck if I care."
>Celestia readies a piece of parchment and quill.
>"'Dear Twilight, it's not that big of a deal. -PC'"
>Luna starts cracking up.
>"'Dear Twatlight, you can't do anything yourself. -PC'"
>Luna's loving this.
>"'Dear Dimlight, calm your flank. -PC'"
>Luna abstains from laughter for a brief moment.
>"Alright, alright, let's send her something that will make her stop."
>Celestia rolls her eyes.
>"Fine. 'Dear Twilight, while the matter you describe seems of great importance..."

>"...you should be prepared to take matters into your own hooves."
>Spike's reading the freshly delivered letter.
>"You may not understand what is happening, so you must take every action to understand it entirely. Study it carefully, and make sure that you are 100% thorough. I have faith in you. -PC."
>...
>"...P.S. Calm your tits."
>With that, Spike rolls up the letter and puts it down.
>Twilight is speechless.
>What kind of Princess is this?
>Wasn't exactly a very good ans-
>"SHE'S TOTALLY RIGHT!"
>What.
"About the being thorough, or the calming yo-"
>Suddenly, you feel yourself floating in mid-air.
>Oh no.
>"Of course! She's telling me to study INTENSIVELY. Make sure I'm 100% thorough..."
>Oh fuck oh fuck.
>"So that means it's time for some..."
>Please don't fucking say it...
>"...experiments!"
>Today is not going to be a good day.

>A few hours later...

>Applejack is walking through town.
>"Where could that Anon be...he's a darn giant, he can't be too hard ta find..."
>She walks up to several p0nies, asking where her human friend is.
>No one knows the answer.
>Eventually, she decides to try asking Twilight.
>Maybe she knows!
>AJ strolls up to the door and gives it a good knock.
>"Just a minute!"
>Twilight opens the door after a short wait.
>She's wearing a white doctor's outfit, and metal goggles.
>There's blood on her smock.
>"What do you need, Applejack?"
>AJ just stares.
>"Uhh..."
>"Is something wrong?"
>"I, uh, was wondering if you had seen Anon..."
>"Nope, haven't seen him."
>Bullshit senses are tingling.
>"...you sure?"
>"Absolutely."
>Bullshit radar going haywire.
>"...mind if I come in...?"
>"He's not here, AJ."
>Bullshit scales are reaching critical levels.
>But there was nothing she could do.
>"...alright...thanks for your time."
>Applejack trots off, looking back.
>She KNOWS you're in there.
>"Ah hope she knows what she's doin'..."

>Another few hours later...

>You wake up.
>In an oh-so comfortable pile of hay.
>Wait wait wait, how the fuck did you get here?
>You were...at Rarity's.
>Then...you can't remember.
>Did you even go anywhere else?
>Maybe it was a dream.
>A fucked up dream, at that.
>It involved scalpels...surgery...
>You've been eating too many apples, fella.
>As you get up, you feel a sharp pain in your side.
>Lifting your shirt, you see a large scar...
>...
>...
>"OH NO!"
>You hear a squeak from outside.
>There's an eye peeking at you from the other side of the door.
>You have a pretty good idea at who it is.
"Fluttershy?"

>She timidly walks into the barn, hiding in her mane.
>Why the hell was she out there?
"What were you up to?"
>"..."
"Standing outside my barn."
>"..."
"Watching me."
>"Um...I...was just..."
>Figured.
>"But...I saw that scar..."
>Okay, so you weren't hallucinating.
>You lift your shirt to take a look at it again.
>Damn that's a huge scar.
>It would be infinitely more badass if you knew where the fuck it came from.
>"That looks really painful!!"
>She goes right up to you and inspects it.
>"It looks like it's been taken care of..."
>Well that makes you feel better.
>Whoever decided to mutilate you took care to ensure it was dressed.
>Fucking fantastic.
>"Do you know where it came from?"
>Not a fucking clue.
>But you're pretty sure that's not a good thing to spread around.
"Y-yeah. It was from a, uh, tree climbing accident a while ago."
>Lying fuck.

>Fluttershy looks down.
>"Alright...I was just worried..."
"It's fine."
>She just keeps staring at the ground.
"Listen."
>She perks up.
>"Y-yes?"
"Please stop stalking me."
>And back down she goes.
>"..."
>You can tell that struck a chord.
>Did she even see it as stalking?
"If you want to hang out, or, something, just ask."
>There's a smile.
>"O-okay..."
>She turns around and leaves the barn.
>As she walks away, you faintly hear...
>"Well NOW how are we supposed to follow him around?!?"
>...as two sets of hooves walk away from the barn.
>...
>Fucking. Pinkie. Pie.