UPDATE - Wife (46F) and I(46M) together since we were 13, married for 25 years, find out she had an

Hi everyone, a lot happened during these last few days.

I apologize for my writing on this one, I am a bit drunk and my brain is thinking this in Portuguese and writing in English so it's probably going to be a mess.

I decided to sober up and go back home on the 23rd, I was not in a good mental state to drive so I ended up hiring someone to drive me back to Dallas.

I avoided everyone when I arrived there, I just wanted to see my daughters and my dogs, I asked my youngest to warn my wife that I didn't want to see her and she went to stay with her parents.

For sake of understanding, I will name my daughters: the oldest is Sarah, the twins are Amanda and Amelia, and my youngest is Emily.

My daughters were basically my shadows growing up, I'm extremely close to the twins and Emily. Sarah is a different story, we were very close when she was a kid, once she was around 17-18 she started acting out and put a lot of distance between us, since that she kept getting closer and closer with her mother and more distant from me, I've tried several times to ''bond'' with her, but she always kept me at arm's length.

When I got home I told my daughters that I had arrived and went to see my dogs, they arrived shortly after. They were all very emotional, we talked for hours, I admit that I cried a bit (a lot), we hugged together, I received tons of kisses.

They were very surprised at how their mother could do something like that to me, they said that it changed how they view their mother, it went on and on, with them basically talking about their mother in a very unpleasant way.

It was a bit shocking, to be honest, I felt extremely uncomfortable hearing them saying that stuff about her, in ''normal'' circumstances I would never allow them to speak about her in that way. I was very surprised at how vocal they were, especially Sarah, Sarah adored her mother, they were very close and even though she saw the mess I was her reaction felt strange. We ordered dinner, had a nice meal together, laughed a bit, I decided to drink a bit to numb myself before bed, drank a little too much, and went to sleep.

Sarah woke me up, she told me that she was having troubling sleeping and asked me if she could sleep with me that night. I was very surprised, she was a very sick kid growing up (she was diagnosed with leukemia when she was barely 3) and she had problems sleeping on her own, until she was almost 8 the only way she could fall asleep was with her head on my chest. She got on the bed, snuggled with me, her head on my chest just like when she was a kid, I was almost sleeping again when she began crying.

She was basically having a panic attack, mumbling words I just couldn't understand in Portuguese (we have this habit in the family, my parents when they were really excited or emotional started speaking Portuguese out of nowhere, my daughters and I ''inherited'' that as well).

She kept saying that it was all her fault, that she was sorry for doing that to me. Eventually, the others woke up and I was able to calm down Sarah, eventually they started speaking, it was all in Portuguese so I will try to summarize the whole thing.

Apparently, 7 months ago Amelia went back home earlier one day and caught my wife and BIL brother in the act, my wife begged her to not tell anyone, which obviously meant that Amelia told Amanda and that Amanda told Emily which meant that Anna told Emily, they just can't keep a secret between themselves.

Sarah confronted my wife and she gave all sorts of excuses, in the end, she promised Sarah that she would stop and begged her to not tell me. Sarah was able to convince the rest of the girls to not tell me. To make things even worst my wife is not even a little smart, 2 months after Amelia found her in our house Emily catch them in my wife's car.

Cue the same thing, my wife begging our girls to not tell me, that she was just weak, that she still loved me and ''couldn't afford to lose me'', Sarah was able to convince the rest of the girls to not tell me, again.

They were all crying and hugging me at that point, Sarah was hugging me so tightly that I honestly thought my ribs would break at any moment.

Then it started making sense, my parents were quite wealthy, my wife's parents were not, when it came to parenting our kids I always spoiled them a bit too much, it was one of the biggest reasons that my wife and I used to argue about, we eventually agreed that spoiling them too much would not be wise. But this year was different, my wife went against everything we had discussed before, in June she gave Sarah a new car without even discussing things with me (a model S, not a cheap one), two months ago my wife bought an apartment in Boston for the twins because apparently, living in the dorm was ''really stressful'', again, she didn't discuss this with me, the issue was not the money, my wife and I are very successful, but out of nowhere she started giving them gifts, these 2 are the biggest examples, it cause some fights between us, but her excuse was always the same ''2020 was being really hard on them''.

I asked them point-blank that the reason their mother was giving them those gifts was to kept them quiet, they didn't answer.

They just said that they ''didn't want to hurt me''.

I admit that at that point I lost my temper, I just told them in not a very nice way to get the fuck out of the house.

I packed my things, got my dogs, and drove to Marshall (I own a ranch outside the city), it's a miracle that I didn't end up dead considering that I was definitely not even a little sober, against the odds I arrived safely there.

For the first time in 46 years, I almost spend Christmas alone, but there he was, my new best friend a bottle of Blue Label, we haven't met before, but I got to say, we actually bonded pretty well through the holidays.

I was a mess, I cried more in the next five days than I had cried before in my entire life, it's was definitely not pretty.

The only thing that kept me sane was my dogs. I honestly didn't know what to do, I kept asking myself what did I wanted to do at that point, and the only thing that crossed my mind was visiting my parents.

My mom died in 2013, she was hit by a drunk driver and didn't survive the accident, my dad died only 4 months after that, he lost his battle to lung cancer after treatment for almost 4 years. My mom wanted to be buried in the city she was born in Brazil and my dad wanted the same, so I buried them there, it was hell, I was very attached to my parents and I didn't have a place to ''speak'' with them.

I have Brazilian citizenship since my parents were born there, got a Covid test, which followed the recent trend in my life and came back negative, bought a ticket, 13 hours later I arrived in Brazil, 8 hours after that I arrived in the city where my parents are buried (small city, less than 20000 inhabitants).

I spent NYE drinking scotch ''with'' my parents, I could feel my dad's disappointment from beyond his grave, surprisingly creepy, I miss him.

That's where I am so far, my phone was blowing up with calls and text messages from everyone so I just decided to not recharge it anymore.

Not sure how I'm gonna proceed, I'm just sinking in my own misery at this point, living day by day.

Thanks to everyone who reached out to me, a special thanks to u/bellazezinho1.