A Lab 8 Halloween Romance

“Uh...uh, Ms. Ileum, are you sure I'll be good with kids tonight? It’s not that I can’t do it! It’s...it’s just...”

Ileum's neon blue eyes flickered like the candle she was placing in the pumpkin. She gave a warm smile at Carol, who was currently trimming out little black and orange witches from sheets of construction paper. The scarred schoolgirl looked down, pressing her thumbs together awkwardly, piles of scrap paper laying in her lap.

“Nonsense, Carol. The children love you, and are very excited you’re taking them tonight. You should have heard what Malachi and Jennifer have been saying. They said they can’t wait to show Miss Carol all their cool costumes.”

“R...really?” Carol’s red eyes brightened a bit, and a small smile spread across the X that ran across her face. “That means so much coming from them. I remember Malachi was so excited when I helped him with his Egret helmet, heh...”

At that, the sound of heavy brass and a smell of polish and leather came through the recreation room. Through the wide archway of the door stepped Big Band- although a Big Band dressed from head to toe in a star-covered blue cape and a matching wizard’s hat, but still Big Band nonetheless.

“I see you’ve been having fun with the children, Ben” Ileum said, doing her best to hold back a laugh. She waved a hand- or a tentacle capped with a small claw at the end- at Carol, reminding the young woman to keep her stifled laughter quiet.

“Yeah, heh...” Even when a bit bashful, Ben Birdland had a voice as smooth as the jazz he loved. “The kiddies decided my costume for me. It was either this or Peacock’s idea of dressing me up as Tommy Two-Ton, and something tells me you don’t want to be Tommy for long”.

At that, casting a smirk and a rolling of his eyes at Carol, a tiny arm with an even smaller magic wand popped out of Big Band’s heavy leather overcoat and gave the girl’s head a light tap.

“So, how’s Carol been?” Big Band didn’t mean to sound so nosy about Carol- he knew and understood how teenage girls could be when authority could poke their heads in on their business, but Carol...had been through a lot, and he always took it upon himself to make sure she was doing okay.

“Carol’s been an enormous help. She decorated this entire room nearly herself! And she’s taking the children out for trick-or-treating tonight herself as well”

 Ileum waved her arm around the room, which had been decorated from wall-to-wall in decorations. The Lab 8 children had picked out pumpkins from the farmer’s market the other day when Big Band and Carol took them out, and they had carved all sorts of wonderful designs into them- their favorite being a caricature of Stanley in his Halloween costume. An assortment of healthy snacks had been laid out on the table, from an assortment of fruit carefully decorated to resemble a smiling friendly ghoul, to an array of autumn vegetables. Of course, there was also the big bowl of candy that Ileum kept under extreme lock and key, but that was for later tonight in the party. There was even a collection of party games that Ileum had taken note of which was everyone’s favorite- including Peacock’s, who despite all denial, still held a fondness for that drawing game.

“See? I knew she’d be a good fit for the Lab!” Ben chuckled, taking the finished string of witches from Carol’s hands to hang up on the arch above the door. Carol giggled sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head in flustered joy.

“Well, not by myself, remember? My friends Filia and Squigly are coming to help! At least, if that’s still okay with you...”

Another warm smile from Ileum. Despite her “unorthodox appearance" she really was such a sweet woman, Ben knew. The way she always had such a motherly tone of voice to all of the Lab 8 kids. The way her raven-black hair always smelled of that real nice perfume he bought for her to mask the scent of digestive juices (a long story for another day). The way she smiled so comfortingly at you no matter what you looked like, even if you were just a big old iron lung. The way she would wrap those warm, long arms around him and nuzzle that face into his coat when she....

“Of course, Carol.” Ileum’s voice broke Ben’s reverie. “You’re more than welcome to. After all, if I suspect Peacock is tagging along, you’ll need quite a bit of help to wrangle her in I assume.”

Another giddy squee of delight from Carol, and with a speed that could only be explained was from her “enhancements”, leapt from her chair and pulled Ileum into a tight hug, crying “Thank you! Thank you!” over and over.

A warm motherly pat on the head from Ileum calmed the girl down.

“Say, Carol, would you be a dear and check on the kids? I’m sure they finished Science Time with Dr. Whitefin, so they- or maybe Stanley- needs some checking on”.

Carol smiled wider, remembering that today was Baking Soda Volcano day with Stanley, and considering how eager the shark scientist was to seem cool, well...things may have gotten a bit messy.

“I’ll do that now! Oh, and I should probably get some extra cleaning supplies out of the closet too, since...well, you know.”

With that, Carol walked out of the room, leaving only Big Band and Ileum.

For a few moments, silence. In the depths of the machinery-filled lab, pure silence echoed.

Until, finally, Ileum broke the silence.

“Are we still on for tonight, Benjamin?” She asked, the warmth in her voice never wavering as she turned to face Ben.

For how big and brassy Ben was, he had never been good with women. Not that he wasn’t handsome or anything, it was just...well, the only woman he had ever promised to love was his mama, and so he had always been pretty shy around the opposite of the fairer sex.

But with Ileum, he felt different. Calmer, less sweaty. She just had this way about her that seemed so peaceful, so welcoming. It was that gentle voice that actually helped him ease into his new metal body a bit more when he first was rescued by Lab 8.

“Yeah, how could I forget tonight?” Ben’s mechanical hand tipped his cap, forgetting for a moment that it wasn’t his normal hat and also forgetting how awkward it was to tip a wizard’s cap.

“Did you get the wine like I asked?”

A bright red bottle, capped with a silver-laced cork, appeared from Ben’s coat.

“5-Year Vintage Renoir Red, aged in oak cask, sweetened with blackberry and Damask rose”

Reading it made Ben sound like one of those really fake “suave” salesmen he saw on the shopping channel. But, reading it in that playfully “suave” voice made Ileum get all rosy in the face, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“And I suspect...” Ben said coyly, as if expecting an answer he already knew. ”You chose the movie tonight?”

Usually what Ileum picked was a romantic-comedy, or perhaps something of a soap-opera drama. Ben was, as one would expect, into noir films. Where she loved cheesy heartthrob dialogues, Ben liked long jazz solos. Where Ileum liked romantic hideaways in the form of cabins and lakeside resorts run by handsome young men, Birdland liked rain-soaked cities bathed in harbor fog and neon tracers full of seedy characters and the gumshoes with hearts of gold.

But, when last year’s “Angelina’s Cottage” made Ileum cry a bit, Ben was there to act as her big old teddy bear. A jazzy music-man teddy bear, but the feeling was still there.

Ileum turned to him, popping a small piece of chocolate into her mouth, before faking an oblivious smile.

“Oh, just a little something Stanley suggested. A little classic title called Autumn Leaves”

“Huh, never knew Stan was into rom-coms, wait, what?”

“Autumn Leaves? It’s some...” Ileum playfully scoffed, running a gloved finger up to Ben’s chin, adoringly rubbing over the stubble. “...silly little detective movie about some detective in a little country town of colorful and shady people towards uncovering some terrible murder. Silly, I know. But, perhaps, I could get “My Daughter’s Wedding Planner” instead...”

Ben stopped for a moment, as if the great detective has been stopped in his tracks. Then, he let out a low, playful chuckle, shaking his head as if in astonishment.

“Aww, you didn’t have to get a noir for me, little lady. I could have watched any sort of romantic thing with you.”

“Shall I return it?”

Another laugh. This time from both of them. Ileum’s arms, as stretchy as they were slick, reached to pull herself up towards Ben, being instantly greeted by the smell of shaving cream and leather and brass as she hugged him. The sensation of his firm lips pressing to her cheek made her quiver, as if she was the star in her favorite romantic flick.

“You know...” purred Ben, his voice dripping with such charisma it could have flowed from a nightclub saxophone. “Carol and the kiddies are gonna be gone for a bit before the party. So, we’ll have a couple of hours alone~...let’s say you and I go and start Halloween night a little early, huh, little lady?”

“Oh, Mister Birdland~…" Ileum smiled wide, those neon blue eyes staring into Ben’s deep brown ones. Behind the mess of intestines and drills, and behind the iron casing and instrument-themed weapons, both man and woman gazed adoringly at each other. “I don’t think you’d need to be such a handsome, strong detective to figure out my answer~. Although it helps~”

And with a small, yet tender kiss, and placing his wizard hat on Ileum’s head, Ben Birdland carried his lady out of the room.