001-EX Prediction 9

Despite O5 Command objections, on 10/15/62, President Kennedy was informed by the CIA of the confirmed presence of Soviet nuclear ICBMs located on the island of Cuba. Proposals to force Kennedy's resignation through psionic influence were underway until the ERZATZ AK9 computational engine was consulted by O5 Command. During a meeting with EXCOMM10 discussions were held regarding the probability that the conflict will escalate into a Third World War:

[...]

O5-10: Our computation engine ran this calculation every hour for the past week. It's now at 99% certainty; any further and your family curse, imprecation, whatever, it can blunder us into nuclear war.

[...]

O5-09: We got to this point because we overplayed our hand. With 99% certainty, I promise you that when Guevara says that invading Cuba means nuclear war, he means it.

Eagle: I see it that way too, Secretary.

O5-10: We need to show good faith. We need to retract. This is the course it wants us to take.

777L35

ERZATZ PROPOSAL SUMMARY

INPUT:
CIA's National Photographic Intepretation Center report on ICBMs in Cuba

OUTPUT:
"Castro and the ring-bearer must take together the coin test once. The president for the greater score will be removed from office in thirteen months not once throwing a bomb."

PROPOSAL:
"Arrange for in-person negotiations between Fidel Castro and Kennedy." (O5-10)


[...]

STATUS
APPROVED

On 10/25/62, John F Kennedy was en route to Mexico City, Mexico onboard Air Force One to fulfill the proposal of ERZATZ. On approach, the landing gear of the plane failed to deploy, which is immediately determined to be caused by SCP-7994-A.

[...]

<Kennedy removes SCP-7994-B from his hand.>

Kennedy: Tell Bobby I love him. It's time for you to be the ring-bearer again.

Eagle: Why don't you tell him yourself?

<"Eagle" dons SCP-7994-B and a parachute, then harnesses himself to Kennedy.>

[...]

Eagle: Before we start, I must make one last request of you.

Castro: You, you're CIA.

Eagle: I was.

Castro: And what is that request?

Eagle: Heads? Or Tails?

Commentary: I-49 "Eagle" lost the proposition bet. Regardless, President Kennedy's refused to bear SCP-7994-B, drastically limiting the noospheric fallout of his presidency. The successful deescalation of the Cuban Missile Crisis resulted in the removal of Soviet ICBMs and a mutual moratorium on psionic operations.

Congressional PSRV levels are expected to normalize upon Kennedy's predicted removal from office.

***
SCP-7994
[Note: the text "ERZATZ AK9 computational engine" links to The Great Hippo's Proposal]