Dream

In dreams, you start just knowing stuff, right? And they often come with a whole history that you just know. So I think we'll start there.
Over the past few . . . days? Weeks? Months? I had been . . . gray. There was something--or perhaps it's someone, my love--that had turned my world from the bright happy place that it is when everything's okay to something a little less shiny. A tiny bit dull. Faded. Grayer. And my mom, who's always been in tune with me--usually even better than I am--had noticed. My father, too. And he is--shall we say--less in tune. But nothing seems to help. I'm inconsolable, and I avoid any attempts to be consoled, anyway. And as we enter the world of the dream, my parents have run out of solutions.
There's going to be a wedding. My wedding. And really, I could care less. I'm going to be the bride and my parents are going to be there, but other than that, I haven't bothered to find out anything about the affair. I don't know--or care--where it will be, what my dress will look like, who's invited, who's holding the service, who's in the wedding party, or even who the groom will be.
It's the night before the wedding and I'm trying on the dress. And it is beautiful. Stunning. It flatters me so well. It's a strapless number with a skirt that flares out and it sparkles and glitters and makes me look fabulous. And that's when it hits me. Once I get married, that's it. That's the big whammy. This whole mess will be over. The whole problem will, in a way, be solved. You will be, most solidly, out of my life.
The next day when I wake up, I am a mess. I'm despondent and inconsolable. I do things without thinking about them, because they are what's done. I go to the bridal chamber without looking at anything because the groom can't see the bride before the wedding. And then I think about seeing whoever this is that I'm going to marry and be with forever as I'm walking up the aisle for the first time, and I start getting anxious. I'm crying and miserable and a mess.
I go out to see if I can spot the groom cause I can't stand not knowing before I walk up the aisle, and he hasn't arrived yet. I look gorgeous in the dress, but I'm a crying mess. People come up to talk to me, but I'm in my own little world of misery. And it just seems to go on.
But then I start getting the feeling that the groom's arrived. I should go back and not be seen, but I honestly don't give a damn about tradition or anything else right now; I just want to know who I'm going to be miserable with. And when he walks through the door. . .
It's you. I don't know what to do with myself. I've spent all this time being miserable and now this. It's too beautiful for me right now. I'm like a person stuck in a cave for months seeing the sun again. And I'm exhausted. I don't even stop crying. I'm still a mess. It's overwhelming.
So much emotion. It wasn't so much a story of events but a story through emotions. And I remembered it so well when I woke up, too.
I don't know.
I just thought you might want to know I dreamed about you.