TF2 Stalker Spaghetti

So, I felt like playing TF2. I booted it, and I noticed on the menu, the character portrait was missing. I figured it was just Valve breaking the menu again and continued on my business. I went to choose a server, and I couldn't find a server that wasn't on plr_hightower. Normal TF2, but generally you see a 2fort or two. So I clicked one. The loading was just as long as usual. 5 minutes, and it downloaded some soundfiles to a folder called "ImGayFaggot" like usual. Damn immature server owners.

I started hearing Steam notifications popping up while the screen was still on Retrieving Server Info. They were at a relatively even pace, speeding up, as if they were urgent. I couldn't read them, though, of course. And then, the server opened. At max volume there's audio stuttering all over the place. It sounded demonic and like crying. The Steam messages were coming in so fast it sounded like it was one droning noise.

I looked at the server info, and it said "You there at the computer...TURN AROUND.

I did, and there was absolutely nothing. What a fucking dickhole. Then, the fears I had had had been realized. I was staring at the words, and the sounds were chaotic at this point. I had to reread it to realize exactly what it said. Pinion: Pot of Gold.