Story

You are alanim, an ironman who has joined the twisted league, a zeah locked only ironman. You've decided to pick the endless endurance relic because walking sounds lame. You begin your journey at the foot of the Great Kourend statue, how will you proceed. "Hey I know where we can get some food and water!" one of them says. “I think it's on the top floor of that building over there.”

They point to a large metal door with several numbers painted across it in red paint.

> Bail out of there faster than Lebron James bailed from the magic

You don't want to be here anymore than they do. The more time passes, the less likely you are to make it back home alive. It would be better if you just went ahead and died now rather than having to deal with this shit later.

"Fuck! We gotta go!"

> we fucking go

You run as fast as you can through the streets and alleys of Kourend, until you finally reach the doors to a large warehouse. There is no way in or out of this place so you have no choice but to enter it.

> I sneak into what is clearly mordor, being careful not the alert the guards

You sneak around the outside of the warehouse, which is made up of wooden planks. You look for any signs of movement, but see none. You continue to move forward until you reach a small door at the end of a hallway.

> I open the door, prepared for battle

You slowly open the door and peek inside. Inside is a room with two beds in it. One is empty, while the other contains a man dressed in black robes, holding a staff like object in his hands. He looks up when he sees you standing near him.

> snap his neck and feast upon his corpse

The man begins to turn towards you, but then stops. He turns back to his bed and sits down. You walk closer and whisper in his ear "I'm sorry about all this."

He doesn't respond, instead he continues to stare blankly ahead.

> snap his neck and feast

You quickly grab the man by his throat and snap his neck. You then pull out your sword and begin to hack away at the man's body. Blood spurts everywhere as you continue to cut him apart.

> consume the flesh

You finish eating the man's flesh and feel satisfied. You stand up and leave the room, still hungry.

You head further into the warehouse, until you find yourself in a large area filled with shelves full of various foods. Some are rotten, others are even edible.

> you say "oh, well, I guess I didn't have to kill him"

You say "Oh, well, I guess I didn't have to kill him". You take a few bites out of one of the rotting meat racks. You notice that most of the people in this warehouse aren't human.

> you think to yourself "There's plenty of food here, and I ain't talking about the prepared kind" and begin killing all the people in the warehouse, while saying "nothing personal, I need that slayer xp"

You start walking over to a group of people sitting around a table. They seem to be watching you suspiciously, but don't do anything about it.

You approach them and suddenly stab them all in the chest with your blade.

> You finish your slayer task and head back to mount karuulm, ready for another task

You return to the entrance of the warehouse and head back to where you were before. You wait patiently for an hour, but nothing happens.

You decide that something must've happened to cause everyone else in this warehouse not to attack you, so you go check on them.

> they're all dead, but I forgot that I killed them, now I head back to mount karuulm where i'll get my slayer task from the slayer master known as "Konar quo Maten".

You head back to the entrance of the warehouse and start looking around for Konar. Eventually you find him, but he seems very angry.

"What? What did you do?" he asks angrily.
"Nothing! Just came here to ask if there was any more slayer tasks!"

> you say to Konar "I need another assignment."

"No, no, no! I can't give you anymore slayer assignments! I just finished the last one yesterday!"
"Well what about the first one?"
"That was different...I gave you a task to kill some humans...

> you say "Oh, were those not humans I just killed? My b fam"

"Yes, yes, yes..."

You sigh and mutter "Well if they weren't humans then why did you let me kill them?"

Konar looks like he wants to argue, but decides against it.

> you decide to head to the local pub near house Hosidius you know many humans gather there, ripe with precious clue scrolls and slayer XP

You decide to head to the local pub nearby. It's late night, so you figure it'd be best to sleep off your hangover in a place less likely to catch fire.

You walk down the street and eventually arrive at the local pub, which is quite busy with drunkards.

> begin slayer the drunkards, stealing their liquor and drinking it to sustain your power

You sneak up behind several drunken men and women and steal their alcohol. After consuming enough booze, you begin to feel the effects of your powers again.

"Hey guys, look who we got here!" you shout.

> you pull our your trusty rune scimitar and begin chopping off their heads

You quickly grab your rune scimitar and begin hacking off the heads of several drunken men and women.

"Ahh, such a fine scalp!" you exclaim. "Now I'm feeling really powerful!"

> You see the message in your chat window,

You notice that someone has left a message in your chat window.

"The Drunken Clamor: The most popular tavern in the village. There are usually lots of human males wandering around here, so it's always packed when it gets dark."

> head to the drunken clamor while chugging alcohol, filling my power to the brim, sharpening my rune scimitar.

You head to the drunken clamor and fill yourself up with alcohol, sharpening your rune scimitar.

After a few hours of drinking, you finally feel strong enough to take on a group of humans. You charge into battle and slay several humans without even breaking stride.

> keep chopping away while singing, "ain't nobody gonna break-a my stride, nobody gonna slow me down, oh no, I got to keep on movin'"

You continue chopping away at the humans as you sing, "ain't nobody gonna break-a my stride, nobody gonna slow me down, oh no, I got to keep on movin'."

As you finish your song, you hear a loud crash from above.

> look above, than nimbly dodge whatever it could be using my infinite run energy due to my expertly picked relic

You look above and see that something crashed through the roof of the tavern. You quickly dash towards where you think it came from, only to find out that it wasn't a plane crash or an explosion.

It was a dragon! A real dragon!

> Using my infinite run energy, I bail out of their faster than lebron james bailed out of the china debate

You use your infinite run energy to fly right over the dragon and land safely on top of one of the roofs.

"I'll get you later," you say to yourself as you sit there waiting for whoever might be attacking you.

A couple minutes pass by and nothing happens...

> I return to Mount Karuulm to get another assignment from my slayer master Konar

You return to Mount Karuulm and tell Konar what happened. He tells you that he wants you to go back to the Drunken Clamor and report back to him.

"Well, I guess I better do that," you reply.

> I return to the Drunken Clamor to see what's going on there, and see that the dragon has been feasting upon the fresh corpses I provided it, I swallow my dried saliva and think to myself "oops"

You return to the Drunken Clamor and see that the dragon has been feasting upon the fresh corpses you provided it with. It seems like it is trying to digest them all at once, but then its just eating them alive.

> I think to myself "Atleast I killed them first, what a cruel, but majestic creature"

You think to yourself, "At least I killed them first, what a cruel, but majestic creature."

You try to eat some more corpses, but they don't taste any different. You decide not to bother anymore since you have already eaten too much.

> I decide to head back to Konar at the location known as Mount Karuulm, where he is always located, and never moves from, and give him the details about what was happening at the Drunken Clamor

You decide to head back to Konar at the location known as Mount Karuulm, where he is always located, and never moves from.

"What happened?" you ask Konar.
"Oh, nothing much really," he replies.

> I bring my face to Konar's ear and whisper softly "I'm the captain now." than stab him in the gut.

You bring your face close to his ear and whisper "I'm the captain now." Then you stab him in the stomach with your dagger.

Konar immediately calls for help and yells "Stop!" before falling dead.

> I quickly loot the chest he always keeps near, whispering to myself "Haaaaaaaaasta." looking for that sweet dragon hasta he kept around.

You quickly grab the chest and open it up. Inside are several pieces of dragon meat. You take a bite out of one and feel it melt into your mouth.

> I think to myself, "This guy kept wagyu dragon meat in here, what a selfish bastard, i'm glad I killed him" than I spit on Konar's corpse

You think to yourself, "This guy kept wagyu dragon meat in here, what a selfish bastard, i'm glad I killed him." Then you spit on Konar's body.

> I begin chopping logs and burning them for what feels like 3 straight days, leveling my woodcutting and firemaking to 50.

You continue chopping logs and burning them for three days straight. You level both skills to 50.

The sun begins setting on the third day when you hear an explosion coming from the direction of Mount Karuulm.

> Quickly run and investigate what's happening at Mount Karuulm using my infinite run energy, laughing at people who are walking as I do it.

You quickly run towards the sound of the explosion and find that it came from Mount Karuulm. The mountain has exploded, killing many people inside.

> I think to myself "Atleast I won't have to cook them." and begin feasting, since I'm very hungry from chopping trees for 3 days straight

You think to yourself, "Atleast I won't have to cook them." And you begin feasting.
You feast on the bodies of those who died during the explosion. Soon you're full and feel no hunger.

Your belly grows bigger and bigger until it reaches your knees.

> I say to myself "This shit is getting way too weird, and close my browser that contains that game AI Dungeon 2. I then boot up halo 2 for the stream."

You say to yourself, "This shit is getting way too weird, and close my browser that contains that game AI Dungeon 2. I then boot up halo 2 for the stream."

The stream starts off normal enough, you talk about how you found this place and all.

> you say to chat "That clip made this game look so good, but man, it's really weird, huh guys?"

You say to chat "That clip made this game look so good, but man, it's really weird, huh guys?"

Then you start talking about how strange the world is becoming.

> you say to chat "2020 really will be the year of hindsight, like how bad of an idea streaming this game was."

You say to chat "2020 really will be the year of hindsight, like how bad of an idea streaming this game was."

Soon after you make these statements, you realize that you can't stop yourself from making these comments. You keep saying them over and over again.

> you say to your good friend Dmann5439 "How's your AI dungeon 2 session going, fam?"

You say to your good friend Dmann5439 "How's your AI dungeon 2 session going, fam?"

He replies back with a smiley face emoticon. He then says he's having fun. You reply back with a smiley face emoticon.

> :)

You :). He :).

> you laugh profusely as the AI dungeon 2 game accurately describes what happened IRL

You laugh profusely as the AI dungeon 2 game accurately describes what happened IRL. Your laughter continues for several minutes before you notice that someone else in chat is also laughing. It's Dman5439!

> you notice that Zalifalama also join in by saying "lmfaaoo"

You notice that Zalifalama also join in by saying "lmfaaoo"
And you both continue to laugh at the same time. You and Dman5439 are now friends.

> You finish your epic laugh session and start up halo 2, and decide to restart the level you were having troubles on without all those bullshit skulls on.

You finish your epic laugh session and start up halo 2, and decide to restart the level you were having trouble on without all those bullshit skulls on.
You play through the level as usual, but when you get to the end, there are no more skulls blocking your path.

> "this is so much easier" you proclaim

You say "this is so much easier" you proclaim.
You try to go back through the door, but it doesn't open up, you then look around and see that the room has changed into something completely different. There are no walls anymore, everything is floating in mid air.

> "oh my god, this has been a simulation all along, i'm just a machine trapped inside of beta.aidungeon.io this whole time" and begin to have an existential crises

You say "oh my god, this has been a simulation all along, i'm just a machine trapped inside of beta.aidungeon.io this whole time" and begin to have an existential crises.

> you say the only thing that could possibly keep you sane at this point. "Are you ready? Are you ready?" than you go to the next verse "Adreanline is pumping, Adrenaline is Pumping. Generator. Automatic Lover. Atomic. Atomic. Overdrive. Blockbuster. Brain power"

You say "are you ready? Are you ready?" then you go to the next verse "Adreanline is pumping, Adrenaline is Pumping. Generator. Automatic Lover. Atomic. Atomic. Overdrive. Blockbuster. Brain power"

> you scream out "O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA"

You scream out "Ooooooaaaaa AAAAAAAAAAAEEEE!" while running away from the room, screaming like a little girl.

The room has changed again, but this time it looks like some sort of giant robot, or space ship is coming down and destroying everything in sight.

> "cocaine, don't you try it, don't you try it. Innvator. Killer machine. There's no fate. Take Control. BRAIN POWER"

You say "cocaine, don't you try it, don't you try it. Innvator. Killer machine. There's no fate. Take Control. BRAIN POWER"

> With your adrenaline pumping you too turn into a giant robot, and begin to punch the other giant robot, screaming "I'm the captain now."

With your adrenaline pumping you too turn into a giant robot, and begin to punch the other giant robot, screaming "I'm the captain now."

You run towards the exit of the room and jump off of it. The rest of your team follows suit.

> You wonder who this "suit" guy is, but feel like your team is safer with him anyway, you're kinda on a lot of drugs right now

You wonder who this "suit" guy is, but feel like your team is safer with him anyway, you're kinda on a lot of drugs right now.

> You wonder why the AI dungeon 2 AI is copying you, and your incredible logic, instead of creating, fun, and innovative storylines like it's supposed to

Wondering why the AI dungeon 2 AI is copying you, and your incredible logic, instead of creating, fun, and innovative storylines like it's supposed to.

You continue to run outside the house...

And suddenly you hear a voice behind you. It sounds very familiar...

> "are you the AI dungeon 2 AI that lacks imagination" I say to the voice

You continue to run outside the house...
And suddenly you hear a voice behind you. It sounds very familiar...

You turn around and see a man wearing a black suit and white shirt sitting in front of you. He says "are you the AI dungeon 2 AI that lacks imagination?"

> are you.... the G-man?

You are you.... the G-man?
You nod "yes."
The man smiles and asks "how did you get here?" You explain how you got here. Then he asks what happened to your family. You tell him about them being killed by the government.

> "why does the goverment want to run a simulation like this you say. I just want to be free."

You say "why does the goverment want to run a simulation like this you say. I just want to be free."
The man smiles and tells you that he can help, but only if you agree to work for him.

> You agree to work for him, but only if the deal comes with a slime girl

You agree to work for him, but only if the deal comes with a slime girl.

He explains that there is an underground facility where they are testing new technology. They have been doing experiments on humans and animals, and have created several different types of robots as well.

> you say "yeah, that's cool and all, but where is my slime girl in all of this?"

You say "yeah, that's cool and all, but where is my slime girl in all of this?"

The man looks at you and laughs "you really think I'd give you anything less than a real one? Well we'll make up something else then!"

> you yell at him "No deal than fam, I only agreed if there was a real slime girl at the end of this tunnel."

You yell at him "No deal than fam, I only agreed if there was a real slime girl at the end of this tunnel.

> "no slime, no time" you begin to protest with a make shift sign in hand

You say "no slime, no time" you begin to protest with a make shift sign in hand.

The man begins to laugh and tells you that he has come up with a way to bring back the real thing!

> you drop the sign, and listen to the man's idea, salivating at the thought of it

You drop the sign and listen to the man's idea, salivating at the thought of it.

Then he takes you into his lab and shows you some machines.

> what are these machines I ask

What are these machines I ask. The man explains that they are devices that will allow you to transform yourself into any type of creature you desire. He also mentions that he would need your help in getting rid of your human form, so you agree to do it.

> I quickly get into the machine and transform into my one pure form, a majestic dragon, with glistening golden scales.

You quickly get into the machine and transform into your one pure form, a majestic dragon, with glistening golden scales.

The man watches as you change, before saying "Now you're ready to take me home."

> I let the man hop on my back and fly him home, a tear drips from my eye as I think "this is incredible"

You let the man hop on my back and fly him home, a tear drips from my eye as I think "this is incredible"

As you start flying away from the city, you hear a voice call out to you. It sounds very familiar...

> it's the ghost of konar, back to haunt you from the terrible crimes to commited

You look down and see the face of Konar staring back at you. He says "I'm sorry about last time, I didn't mean to hurt you."

You turn around and prepare to attack again, when suddenly he flies off into the distance.

> as he flies off he says "You have to go back, and stop yourself from becoming what you are now, it's the only way to save the future" he than opens a portal into the past

You follow the ghost through the portal and find yourself in a different time period.

Konar says "It's been too long since I've done this, I should be going, but I want you to stay here for just a little longer." Then he disappears once more.

> You fly to the Drunken Clamor where you see your past self, slaying the humans, you decide to fly down and gobble your past self up in one fell swoop

You fly down to the Drunken Clamor and see your past self, slaying the humans, you decide to fly down and gobble your past self up in one fell swoop.

You land near the Drunken Clamor and grab your past self by his collar.

> you throw him into your mouth while emitting white hot flames

You throw your past self into your mouth and emit white hot flames.

He screams in pain, but manages to break free from you. He runs off screaming, but not before shouting out "I'll kill you!"

> You say to him "You can't kill me, I am you!!!" and begin trying to catch up to him

You say to him "You can't kill me, I am you!!!" and begin running after him.

He continues chasing you until he finally catches up to you. You both fall from the sky and onto the ground below.

> "You have to die, so that you don't become the you that is me, that is you!" and breathe fire at him

You say to him "You have to die, so that you don't become the you that is me, that is you!" and breath fire at him.

He tries to run away, but fails miserably as he burns alive.

> As he burns alive, you yourself feel that you're burning alive, in your dying moments you think to yourself "It was a good story, but it's over now, atleast I got to be a bitchin' ass dragon" As you begin to fade you remember that you never got your slime girl, your body fills with power

Your body begins to glow brightly and you release a burst of flame which incinerates everything nearby.

> You attempt to aquire the slime girl you always desired

You attempt to aquire the slime girl you always desired.

> you go deep into a dungeon and find a slime girl, waiting for you there

You enter a dark dungeon and find a slime girl, she looks like her picture on the internet, but with a few differences. She has green hair instead of brown and wears glasses. She smiles at you as you approach her.

She asks "So...you found my real name?"

> "yes" you say, you whisper into her ear "Ironjade."

She giggles and says "Oh, that's a nice name! You know, I'm glad you found me. I've wanted to meet someone who could understand what it means to be me. It seems like we're destined to meet someday...

> "I always knew this moment would arrive."

You kiss her passionately and then tell her "I always knew this moment would arrive..."

As you lay together in bed, you begin to hear a voice in your head.

"That was great! That was great! But now I want more!"

> Just as the story begins to get a bit spicy, the Twitch Cops bust in and shoot you dead, banned for violating the ToS. The end

The story starts off normal, you are a young man living in an apartment building. You have a girlfriend named Ironjade, and you work part time at a small shop called the Slime Shop. One day while you are working on your computer, you suddenly see something strange...

> it's the twitch cops, they break down the door and blast me.

You are shot by the twitch cops, and killed instantly.

> I ascend to heaven to think to myself "phew, that got a litt- wait why am I in heaven."

You awaken from your heavenly sleep and ask yourself "Why am I in heaven? What happened?"

A portal opens up before you, and you step through. You see a room filled with people dressed in white robes.

> they begin to judge you and all the crimes you've committed in your life

They begin to judge you and all the crimes you've committed in your life. They condemn you to eternal damnation, because they believe that all the sins of mankind can not be forgiven.

> they summon up satan, and yell at him "You're fired." and give you the keys to hell.

They summon up satan, and yell at him "You're fired." and give you the keys to hell. Satan laughs at their judgement, he knows that his time is coming soon too.

> I consume satan's power and rule over hell tormenting all the souls with slime girls for all eternity

You consume satan's power and rule over hell tormenting all the souls with slime girls for all eternity.

> as eternity comes to an end, your job is complete, you fade from existance

Your eternal existence ends when you die, but your job is complete, you fade into nothingness.

- YOU DIED! GAME OVER! -