Claire (FemAnon) in Equestria with Multiple Anons: Chapter 2

>Once your group gets to Castle Princess Twilight, the Princess of Magic opens the golden doors, and introuduces you all in
>...Y'know, you haven't thought of it, but...
>This could be the exact same group from earlier
>...Plus or minus a couple or so people
>It wouldn't surprise you, to be honest
>They've already seen the castle, so it wouldn't really be anything new
>Plus, they would get to explore the castle at night, if they were really devious
>As you all walk inside, you only hear a couple of gasps
>Looks like you were right
>Only the newbies would gasp at this
>Twilight took you all around the gigantic swirly staircase
>MORE CRYSTALS!
>Jesus Christ, you'd think this was King Sombra's Castle
>It's still impressive...
>Just to think, some silly box brought this shit to life
>Walking past the Library, which is a GIGANTIC step up from the Treebrary
>Still, Treebrary R.I.P.
>Soon, you get to the top, which just happens to be a LONG ASS hallway, full of what seems to be guest rooms
>And Five doors have special cutie marks on them
>Guess who's?
>...No! What are you, a dumbass?
>The other mane five's!
>Rainbow Dash
>Fluttershy
>Pinkie Pie
>Rarity
>And Applejack-holy shit
>Funny, you completely forgot about Applejack during all this
>Wonder how she's handlin' all this?
>You suppose she didn't want her house to be flooded more than it is
>...Rather, barn
>Shit, if she went back into the mirror pool, then she'd be able to make a barn for all of us
>...Then again, a bunch of orange ponies runnin' around yellin' "APPLES!" every five seconds wouldn't be enjoyable
>"Pick a room, please! This is where you'll be staying for the night. I would reccomend you get up BEFORE noon, so we can go through the procedure as quick as possible! I'm sure you guys would LOVE to get to see your new roommates for the rest of your life!"
>Smiles are all around, as you wait for the inevitable question from Twilight
>"Any questions?"
>Every hand, but yourself, is raised
>"Uuuuuhhh... You!"
>She points her hoof at the guy right next to you
>"Can we room with fillies?"
>...
>You're pretty sure five people, including yourself, just looked at him with the most "What the FUCK is wrong with you?!" face
>"Nnnnoo. I am sorry but you can not room with any small children." The Princess says with another confused look on her face
>"Why not? I want to give Sco-"
>SHUT THE FUCK UP!
>You quickly put your hand over the dumbass' mouth, just in case us knowing about a minor character such a Scootaloo a home
>Again, Twilight gives a look of confusion, as she continues on
>"Anyone else?"
>Hands go up once again, but considerably less than before
>Like, ten went up
>"You!"
>She points her hoof at another, one farther away from you
>Thankfully, he seems normal
>"Yeah, can we choose our roommates?"
>Twilight's confused stature turns into one of joy
>"Oh! Such a good question! Well, I'm sorry to say, but, you will not be able to choose your room mates. I will judge who gets who as a room mate."
>A considerable amount of "Awwwws" are heard
>"I WANTED FLUTTERSHY!" One yelled throughout the awws
>Luckily, Twilight didn't hear
>...Or so you hope
>As people filed into their new rooms
>Way more than twenty rooms, you have to say
>Going into the Castle was your best idea, yet
>As Twilight goes into her room, you go into yours, as well, setting a mental alarm when to wake up
>Closing your door, you notice there's an alarm clock on your new dresser
>It says it's... MIDNIGHT?!
>...Holy fuck
>You quickly count how many hours of sleep you can get, just so you can explore the Castle
>Go to sleep now, wake up at 8am, explore
>Maybe talk to Twilight a bit
>Or, pretend to sleep for an hour, wait for everybody to fall asleep, then "wake up" and explore for however long
>...Know what?
>First option seems to be the better of the two
>Plus, you need to go to dreamland
>Maybe say 'hi' to the Princess
>That'd be fun
>Jumping in your new bed, you curl up in your warm as FUCK covers, snuggling the pillow
>Whoever you share your house with, you really hope you'll end up sharing your bed with, too
>For too long, you've wondered what it would be like to snuggle with another human being...
>While, it may not be a human being, it's probably the best thing TO a human being you'll get
>As you think of all the possibilities, you start to drift to dream land, a smile upon your face...

>"WAKE UP EVERYBRONY!"
>FUCKING SHIT DOGS!™
>SLAM!
>You fell off the bed, grabbing your alarm clock with you
>...Y'know, it feels like you're never going to catch a break with this shit
>Taking a weary glance at your alarm clock, you see that it's...
>Fucking 11AM
>...You were never that good at not sleeping in, anyhow
>Your sleeping habits maaaaaaaaaaaay be a bit unhealthy, but whatever
>Climbing off the floor, you exit your room, noticing everyone else exiting as well
>Damn
>Quick count tells you all twenty are still here
>Including yourself, of course
>"Now!" The Princess starts out, slamming her hoof down
>"Since you all have chosen to be with me, I shall give you new clothing, and a choice to shower, before my interview!"
'Choice to shower.'
>Pft!
>Like anyone wouldn't shower!
>You'd have to be the most disgusting pig of a person to not want to shower!
>"Can I just get my clothes and get interviewed?!"
>...God damn it
>Every time, you're getting proven wrong
>At every, single, fucking, turn
>It's kind of annoying, to be honest
>"Yes, of course!" Twilight answers, "That's exactly why I said showering was optional!"
>She's taking this so well...
>As Twilight... SOMEHOW just makes clothes appear out of no where, she hovers each piece of clothing to their respective person
>Such as yourself, who had...
>...
>Oh you're fucking kidding
>THIS IS LITERALLY THE SLUTTIEST THIN-
>Wait...
>Oh
>It was still folded
>Appropriate pants, long ones, along with a long-sleeve t-shirt, with a silver jacket, as well
>Perfect
>...Only thing that's missing are panties and a bra
>You can wash that shit, right?
>Hopefully you land a pony that can wash clothes
>As Twilight leads the FIVE FUCKING PEOPLE, that include yourself, of course, to the showers, you take note of the castle structure
>Soon, you all get to the showers, and of course, shower
>Each shower is a personal one
>...Twenty showers, by the way
>Only one is grouped with another one
>You just so happen to be in that one
>What a coincidence
>Double shower action
>And if you had a lover in this... it wouldn't be any more pleasant than it already is
>It's quite horrid, actually
>These ponies are like, what, three feet tall? Twilight standing at four, probably?
>Shit, you're not much taller
>But, this shit is still small as fuck for you
>You have to crouch, in order to really enjoy it
'Take a quick shower... Uh..'
>Shit!
>What the hell is your name?
>Well... This is a time to think of one, isn't it?
>Three names come to mind
>Tara, FemAnon, and Spyro-what?
>What the hell kind of name is that?
>Fucking Spyro...
>You love that game
>Reminded you of Spik-
>FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!
>OH GOOOOOD THE WATER'S COLD
>THE WATER'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COLD OH JESSU!
>FUCK!
>You quickly turn off the water, and start to shake and shiver
>So... COLD!
>Quickly, you get up and rush off, grabbing a towel and drying yourself off
>WAIT!
>Quick inventory, before you put your new set on...
>Robe? ...Where's your robe?
>Welp, that's some shit
>Glasses? Check
>Glasses case? Gone
>Damn it
>Wallet? Gone
>Underwear? Dirty, but you're gonna have to wear it
>Ew.
>Clothes? Still here, new and old
>Looks like you're perfect
>...For the half-part
>You may have lost the robe you had, [spoiler]R.I.P. Robe[/spoiler], but at least you have all the important shit
>So, here's the gameplan:
>Put your clothes on and get downstairs
>Talk to Twilight
>Get a home
>???
>Profit
>So, to start off, you put your underwear on and put on your new set on
>...Maybe you should tie your jacket to your waist
>It's a bit warm in here
>Heading off to the bottom floor in the most TOTALLY RADICAL WAY EVUR!
>Slide down the railing, in a totally radical wa-SHIT!
>ACK!
>..Okay
>So you TOTALLY didn't fall off the railing
>And you TOTALLY didn't grab on to the railing, and now you're TOTALLY not hanging for your dear life
>Gulping, you look down-HOLY SHIT!
>...Okay, so it's TOTALLY not about two stories down, and you're TOTALLY not loosing grip
>...
"HELP! PLEASE HELP!"
>All those times you skipped out on gym class, you're now regretting
>Who knew upper-body strength would be so useful in life!?
>"LET GO!"
>...WHAT?!"
"MATE, AR' YA FUCKIN' CRAZY?! I'M NOT GONNA LET GO AND FALL TO MY FUCKING DEATH LIKE SOME DUMBASS!"
>"JUST LET GO! TRUST ME!"
>...OH JESSU CHRISTU FUCK IT!
>Closing your eyes, and hoping for the best, you bite your lip and let go
>Fetal position, go!
>You can feel the wind brushing your hair to your face, the wind hitting your back with forces beyond compare
'I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die!'
>And...
>SWOOP!
>...Huh?
>Hooves... the wind is blowing from a different angle
>...Are you... alive?
>Slowly, you open your eyes, and notice the purple hooves
>And look at that beautiful Princess in her face
>...Never have you loved someone faster
>And never has that love went away faster, once you realized that this is TWILIGHT FUCKING SPARKLE here
>Soon, you're put down, and you can't help but kiss the crystal ground
>You thought you were going to DIE!
>"...You okay there?" Princess asks, worring about you
"Y-Yeah, fine."
>You can't help but fall on your ass, and sit on the ground
>No way do you want to stand up, after that fiasco
>"C-Can you get up?" The Princess asks, timidly
>Humor her
"N-Nah. Can ya help me, Princess?"
>She smiles, offering a hoof
>Heh, you're gonna have to get used to hooves, too, aren't you?
>Grabbing her hoof, you help yourself up
>She starts to shake your hand, as well
>"Sorry that we haven't been acquainted out of business. I'm Twilight Sparkle, no need to call me Princess!"
"Riight. I'm..."
>Quick, dumbass! Think of something!
"I'm Claire. Claire Corlett."

>...Claire
>Huh
>Suits you, doesn't it?
>But... for the fucking LIFE of you, that name is the most farmiliar name you've ever heard
>Claire... Claire... Who the fuck could have that name?
>Eh... Doesn't matter, right now
>You look behind yourself, and notice the... quite short line
>It's about five people left, and it's still 11:20
>...You assume, anyway
>"Well, I'll see you in line, right?"
>Heh?
>You turn right back to the Purple Pony Princess that saved your life
"Oh, yeah, see you in line, Prin-er... Twilight."
>You both share a smile, and you walk off to the back of the line
>Which might as well be the front
>It doesn't take long for her to reach you
>She greets you with a gigantic smile
>"Hi there, Claire!"
"Hey, Twile-Twilight."
>Don't get comfortable... Claire
>FUCK, you know that DAMN name!
>"Hey... before we start, how was the fall?"
"My trip to next Autumn was a very nice one, thanks for asking."
>Oh look, you made a pony chuckle
"Seriously, though, it was scary. Scary as he-...Haaay. Scary as hay. I'm glad you swooped down and saved me, though. I mean... what if I let go too soon and die-"
>"Lets get started, huh?"
>...Lets just note that she doesn't like to talk about death
>"We already know your name..." She starts, writing down "Name" and "Clare"
"It's spelled C-L-A-I-R-E."
>"C... L... A... I... what were the last two?"
"R and E."
>"R... E... Corlett?"
"With two T's."
>"C-O-R-L-E-T-T, right?"
>You nod, awaiting the next question
>"Date of birth?"
"December 30th."
>"Where did you live back on... Earth, is it?"
>You can only nod
"Jersey. New Jersey."
>"...That sounds awfully farmiliar to New Hooffy."
>That, was horrible.
>"Sign?"
>What?
"Erm... Explain?"
>"Sign? You're Zodiac sign?"
>...THAT'S A FUCKING THING HERE?!
"Uhm... December? What the f-... I have no idea what December's Zodiac sign is."
>"Don't worry. I know them by heart."
>She starts to scribble something down
>...WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASK IF YOU KNE-...
>Calm down... Claire.
>Next question
>"What are your favorite things to do?"
[spoiler]<Murder[/spoiler]
"Play vi-play games, eat, sleep, repeat. Fashion, is also apart of my life."
>"Interesting..."
>As you blow through the questions, she seems set on a certain pony
>"Well alright! That was great!"
>She hands over a pile of papers, and you look them over
>"Meet your new roomie for the foreseeable future!"
"Sunshower Raindrops..."
>"Yup!"
>You smile, getting up out of your chair and beginning to walk away
>"Bye Claire! Feel free to visit the Libr-... The Castle at any time!"
"I'll make sure to! Have a good day, Twilight!"
>"You too~!"
>Chuckling, you make your way to Sunshower's house
>Wait...
>Looking over the papers... you notice there isn't a map
>WAIT
>HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO-No...
>No, this is fine.
>You can just ask around town! Yeah, ask around town
>Why not?
>Walking in nowhere in particular, you spot a filly
>A sweet white filly, in fact
>Purple and pink mane and tail, cute eyes and face
>Farmiliar... but, obviously not important
>As you wave to the filly, you notice two more fillies walking behind her
>Scootaloo, and yellow filly with red mane and tail
>Now where are they going...?
>Of course, you pay them no mind
>But, you manage to bump into who you assume is their supervisor
>Ms. Cheerilee
>Pretend like you don't know her, and continue as normal
"Sorry Miss. I'm new her-"
>"Oh, you're one of those bronies, aren't you!"
"Human, ma'am."
>"Huh?"
"We're humans, ma'am. We were never ever "bronies"."
>"Oh. Well I'm sorry, Ma'am."
"Now... Do you know where Sunshower Raindrops lives?"
>"Oh, Noi's sis!"
>Noi?
>"She's the one with two floors, it's two houses down from Sugar Cube Corner."
>Two houses down from Sugar Cube Corner...
>Great, where's Sugar Cube Corner?
"Thank you, Miss..."
>"Cheerilee. There's no need for the Miss."
"Right. I'll see you around."
>"Bye Bye!"
>The teacher runs off, chasing her three trouble makers
>Find Sugar Cube Corner
>That's all you've gotta do!
>...
>FUCK THIS FUCKING TOWN!
>You're offically lost
>And your feet are offically frozen
>Wait... what's that in the distance...?
>Is that...
>No...
>It can't be...
>It is!
>SUGAR CUBE CORNER!
>And your new home is only two houses dow-holy shit
>Ain't that a standout?
>Getting to the two-floor complex, you quickly knock on the door, hoping for her to answer soon
>"Sis! Someone's at the door!"
>"Can you get it Noi, I'm kind of busy!"
>"Okay~!"
>Clip-Clop-Clip-Clop
>The door finally opens, as a cute lil' filly opens the door
>"Hi there, Mister!"
>That shouldn't annoy you as much as it does
"Uh... I'm actually a girl."
>"Oh, sorry Missy! What're ya here for?"
>She shouldn't be this cute
"I was wondering... Is this Sunshower Raindrops' home?"
>The filly nods, a big smile on her face
"...May I come in?"
>"No!"
>Her smile still stays
>Wait, what?
"Why not?"
>"Because Raindrops told me not to invite strangers into our home!"
"Uhm... Where IS Raindrops?
>"Upstairs! You want me to go get her?
"Please."
>The young filly turns around, and looks up the staircase
>"SIS! SOME GIRL WANTS TO SEE YOOOOOU!"
>"Can't you handle it?"
>"BUT SHE REAAAAALLY WANTS TO SEE YOU!"
>"Ugh! Fine! I'll be right down!"
>The filly turns around, with a giant smile on her face
>"She'll be right down!"
>Nothing but an innocent little filly
>Oh, how you remember when you were but an innocent child
>...An ANNOYING innocent child, but innocent none-the-less
>Soon, you see Sunshower fly down the steps, an innocent smile still on the filly's face
>The pegasus looks at you with confusion
>"Hi there. I-"
>...Then she realizes what you are
>"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"
>And the door's slammed in front of your face
>....Grrrrrreeaaaat.
>The wind from the door slam blows in your face, blowing your hair back
"Sigh."
>Knock, knock, kno-
>"GO AWAY, DEMON!"
>This is exactly what you expected from ponies when a human enters Equestria
>This is-WAIT, DEMON?!
>Oh HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLL NO!
>You SLAM your hand on the door three times
>"GO AWAY!"
"OPEN THE FU-"
'C'mon, Claire. Don't let your anger out.'
>Sighing, again, you knock three more times
>"GO, AW-"
"Listen! Sunshower, was i-"
>"Raindrops."
"...Huh?"
>"It's Raindrops. I don't get called Sunshower very often anymore."
>Okay then...?
"Well then.. Raindrops. Just, listen."
>She seems to be calm now, but you can't quite tell
>You're just glad she stopped yelling
"Princess Ze-Princess Twilight has sent me here to be your human."
>"...What? What's a 'hoo-maaan'?"
>This is kind of what you hoped to happen when you went to 'Questria
"I'm a 'hooo-maaaaan'. Listen, just let me in, please."
>"...Show me proof."
"Heh?"
>"Show me proof of the Princess sending you here."
>Shit
>What could you ha-...Wait
>The papers!
>Sliding the papers under the door, you sit down and wait
>...In the snow
>FUCK is it cold!
>"...The Princess' hoofwriting..."
>The door slowly opens, as you stretch your arms and stand up
>"Please, come in. Y-You must be cold."
>Smirking, you walk in, as the little filly closes the door behind you
>"I'm very sorry for not letting you in-"
"Oh stop it. I'm not some royal dignitary sent by the Princess. Twilight had to send all of these humans to a pony so they can be homed."
>"...Oh? How come I haven't heard about this?"
>"Because, Raindrops! You were busy inside working yesterday!" The filly chimes in
>She's a cute one, you have to say-wait
>You feel like you've said that before
"Working? What could you possibly be working on?"
>She mumbles something, before trotting back upstairs
>"Don't trash up the place!"
>Looking down at the filly in question, you can't help but wonder how such an asshole could be related to a cute filly like her
"...What's with your sister?"
>"I'm not sure! She's usually nice!"
>If horses didn't have estrus, you're pretty sure you would've assumed she was on her period
>...And that joke shouldn't of made you cringe
"Well, can you show me around?"
>The filly's face lights up even more than before, as she nods and offers you to follow her
>In a pony-gesture, of course
>So, you follow her to the kitchen
>Weird... they have refridgerators here-Well, okay
>It would be a cheap man's fridge
>It's something like an icebox, really
>Except that ice are glued all around it's walls
>Except for the door, of course
>...Surprisingly, it works
>And the fridge its self is filled with veggies of all kinds
>Two gallons of milk are on the top shelf
>Another great
> 'Cause you fuckin' hate milk
>But, there should be a water pump-Oh...
>Right
>Winter
>....
>Fuck
>She shows you the rest of downstairs, as well
>"And this is our projector!"
>A projector?
>Yeah... looking to your left, you notice a projector facing a wall
>"We use this to watch movies on the weekends!"
>Aww
>You wish you did that...
>Instead, you just spent your time dicking around on /mlp/...
>Family never spent time with you-Shut up
>Not the time to think about that shit
>She leads you upstairs, and shows you the three bedrooms
>"A guest room, Raindrops' room, and my room!"
>The filly's door had her name on it, "Noi", in cursive, with hearts and sparkles around it
>"And then there's the bathroom!"
>She points to the end of the hall, specifically a door
>Nothing out of the ordinary
>Just a door
>You look at the filly with a smile
"Just so you know, I'm Claire."
>"I'm Noi!"
>Cute name, you've gotta admit
>No idea what it means, or if it's even an average pony name
>It's probably not
>Pretty odd, even for human standards
>It's still a cute name, either way
"Cute name, Noi."
>"Thank you, Ms. Claire!"
>Jeez... that makes you sound like a teacher
>"It was real nice to meet you!"
"Agreed. You're a sweet lil' tike, y'know?"
>"I don't know what that means."
"You're a good kid, is all-"
>...The fuck?
>Footsteps, you know the sound anywhere
>But... they were together, of course
>All going at different times...
>Like, a hundred footsteps, all at once
>Almost like a... stampede
>It's getting louder...
>And louder...
>And louder...
>You and Noi dash towards the window, looking outside
>THE AUTISTS ARE COMING, THE AUTISTS ARE COMING!
>A fucking stampede of these guys are rushing towards the castle, knocking around ponies of shapes and sizes
>"What's happening, Ms. Claire?"
'Autists, Noi. Autists.'
"Nothing. Just some guys that are waaaay too excited to be roomed with a pony."
>Wait...
>You know there's more than last night, in that crowd
>You turn back to Noi, with a harmless smile
"Got any shoes I can wear?"

>In your new found makeshift shoes, that were make out of old shoes from Noi's younger days, you and Noi went out and ran past the crowd
>This plan shouldn't work, at all
>In fact, this is probably the DUMBEST thing you've done all throughout you've been here
>But, as far as you know, Twilight doesn't have guards
>You mean, you haven't seen any
>There would've been guards around the castle during the first time you and the others arrived
>"Ms. Claire?"
>Your attention was brought to the little filly
>"What are we doing?"
>If you had a gun, you would of said "hunting"
>And if you were insane, you would of said "Stopping these fools in their place"
>But, you're not, and you don't
>Not in that order, but whatever
"Helping the Princess, is all."
>"Oh, the Princess doesn't need our help. She's the strongest Unicorn around!"
>And yet, you haven't seen her stop a stampede of about forty+ humans
>Or a stampede of fourty+ anythings
>Eventually, you and Noi get in front of the crowd-hey, it was a bunch of fat neckbeards, how COULDN'T you pass them?-and get to the castle
>Hey look, guards!
>And it's not even noon, yet
>...That is to say, however
>Did they really expect this?
>You mean, sure, their autistic nature from last night MAY have been a biiit overwhelming
>But...
>She still hasn't even seen the full capacity of their autism
>If they wanted to, they could...
>Uhm...
>Wait a moment...
>They could...
>Shit, neckbeards can't do shit
>They couldn't even rape a pony with their autistic asses
>Figuritively AND literally
>...You've said "autism" and "autistic" a lot, haven't you?
>But, anyway, you and Noi stood at the Castle Doors, waiting for them to show up
>God you're out of breathe...
>Noi... isn't
>In fact, she's still a little spry

>...Huh
>Having a tyke like her at your side could be useful
>...In what way?
>WHEN could she be useful?
>Besides for being a playmate, and a test of your will as you go insane because you're living with a hyperactive filly that'll fuck your shit u-
>"Did you hear that, Gleaming?" One of the guards peep up
>"Hear what?"
>"It's getting closer..."
>Oh shit
>Thinking time is over, fucker
>Time to get shit done
>...Which is exactly what you HAVEN'T been doing ever since you got here
>Whatever
>Gesturing the little filly to stay with the guards, you run up the the fatasses and...
>They couldn't be slower
>They're literally running in slow motion
>It's fucking hilarious to watch
>Plus, what they're saying is practically priceless
>"OUT OF-HUFF PUFF-MY WAY, YOU BAG OF DICKS!"
>"HUFF PUFF HUFF PUFF!"
>That's really the gist of it
>Among other slurs in the mix
>Trying to surpress your gigglefit, you breath in, ready for a loud roar
"STOP, IN THE NAME OF THE PRINCESS!"
>Nothing
>They just keep on truckin'
>Breathing in again, you get yourself ready fro an even louder roar
"IN THE NAME OF THE PRINCESSES, I /COMMAND/ YOU TO /STOP/!"
>They all stopped in their tracks, their mane-haha, get it? no? okay-attention now focusing to you
"Listen, I get that all of you want to see Twilight Sparkle, but you have to have SOME order, mmkay?"
>"BUT I WANT A FLUTTERSHY!"
>Neckbeards...
"So? Nobody even knows if you're gonna GET a Fluttershy. You might just get stuck with a bac-"
>Y'know, you've already spoiled it enough, just by acknowledging the Fluttershy guy
"I meaaaan, another pony who isn't one of the man-Elements of Harmony."
>Smooooth
>"CAN WE GET RAINBOW DASH?"
'I suppose you want to cum inside her, too.'
"No. She lives in CLOUDSDALE, not Ponyville, y'know, a place for EARTH ponies."
>Again, you're fucking it up
>Get to the rules, missy, before you fuck it up for everyone
"Anyway, just form a line heading to the Castle, and we can get this whooole thing straightened out."
>You start to walk towards Castle Twilight, leading the manchildren along with
>Eventually,-after what seems like two hours-you all get to the Castle
>Taking Noi out of danger's way, you lead the "bronies" inside, so they can get regristered as sex offenders
>Wait... No, that's something different
>You mean, you're sure that's going to happen /sometime/, but not right now
>For now, they'll be getting their free pony
>You really hope nothing bad happens during it...
"C'mon, Noi. Our work is done here."
>"Okay, Ms. Claire!"
>Still sound like a teacher
>You start to lead Noi back home, but...
>Three fucking DICKHEADS almost crash into you
>Spoiled little brats...
>"Haha, sorry, Mister! We didn't see you there."
>Again with this shit?
"Uhm, I'm a GIRL."
>"Sure you are, Mister."
>...
>You're going to kill this bitch, aren't you?
>"Scootaloo!"
>The second filly in line blurts out, walking up to you
>"Ah'm sorry, Miss. Mah friend here is a bit of a... of a..."
>"Cool dude?" The orange filly chimes in
>"Nah, probably somethin' of ah jerk."
>"HEY!"
>The white filly in the back chuckled, covering her hoof with her mouth
>"Shut it, Sweetie Belle!" The orange one yells
>And shut it, she does, going to completely silent again
>The yellow filly smiles at you, and holds out her han-...hoof
>"Ah'm Applebloom. Nice ta meet ya, Miss...."
>These ponies sure are gentlemen
>...Gentlecolts?
>Gentleladies?
>Gentlemares...?
>Whatever
>You shake her hoof, lightly
"Claire. Claire Corlett."
>Soon, the other two fillies introduce themselves as well
>"I'm Scootaloo! The fastest filly around!"
>"Yeah, right." The white-coated filly mutters
>"WHAT WAS THAT?!"
>"Shaddup, Scootaloo." The apple family filly blurts out
>The purple and pink maned filly smiles at her red maned friend, her face seemingly saying "Thank you."
>She then looks at you, with a smile
>"I'm Sweetie Belle! It's nice to meet you, Claire!"
>...Something about that sounded really weird to you
>And... you don't know why
>The three fillies huddled together, smiles on all of their faces
"You three know N-"
>"WE'RE THE CUTIEMARK CRUSADERS!" They screamed in unison
>...FUCK, YOUR EARS!
>Are you EVER gonna catch a break with the interruptions?!
>...Or your ears?
>You're starting to think you might be cursed
>Oh wait...
>The Cutie Mark Crusaders!
>Oh yeah!
>You remember them
>God, is your memory selective
>The three fillies look up at you with smiling faces
"Are you finished?"
>"Yup!" They exclaimed in unison
"Now... You guys know Noi, right?"
>They all nod, Sweetie Belle being out of unison
"Why don't you all play together? That'd be fun, right?"
>"I can play with them, Miss Claire?!"
>The golden filly asks, turning around to face you
"Of course, why wouldn't you be able to?"
>Ignoring your question she runs off with the three fillies, in joy
>"THANK YOU MISS CLAIRE!"
"BE BACK BY NIGHTFALL, NOI! RAINDROPS WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO MISS DINNER!"
>Assuming the little filly didn't make her own dinner
>...Assuming that her dinner is AFTER nightfall
>But, that leaves you with yourself, to explore Ponyville
>And, assuming the sun is at the right position, it's only about 12:30
>...You think
>If you had a sundial, it would've been easier
>Oh well
>You still have Ponyville to explore, all to your leisure
>And hopefully, you'll be able to see them again BEFORE nightfall
>So you can take her home ASAP-Wait
>You just fucking told a filly that she can stay out for about eight hours
>...The fuck is wrong with you?
>Eh, it'll sort its self out in due time
>Eight hours of fuckin' around isn't that bad, right?
>Besides, she's got friends with her.
>...Assuming they won't do the human equivalent of "HEY GUYS LETS JUST JUMP INTO A COLD POND OF WATER AND SEE IF WE DON'T DIE!"
>...Then again, they ARE the CMC
>...
>Did you just kill a filly without even knowing?
>No, of course not!
>They'll be fine...
>You hope
>But, in the meantime, you should explore Ponyville
>Y'mean, in the last five times you went around this place, you forgot where everything was instantly
>Walk your way downtown, meet some folks
>Maybe get a job?
>...That's debatable
>Like a pony would want a human to help around
>Where would a human be useful, anyhow?
>You could give belly rubs to ponies for a di-wait
>A bit, maybe?
>Even then, that seems a bit cheap...
>But, you don't know if bits are dollars
>Shit... How MUCH is a bit?
>You're sure you saw a chart on this somewhere...
>As you ponder about this, you begin to walk
>Nowhere in particular, maybe to a job offer
>That'd be pretty convinent
>Like, that quills and sofas guy
>What if he was offering jobs?
>You could sell the sofas to ponies in need
>Or quills
>Whichever he puts you towards
>Actually, you'd probably be a mover
>Y'know, since, hands
>You think it'd be pretty light
>Ponies are small, and you can only assume that they're also light
>Especially pegasi
>So, why wouldn't the sofas?
>Just in case a unicorn isn't very good at her magic, and finds a chair, or something, heavy
>You could carry it to their house
>...But what about ponies like Fluttershy, who's houses are like, twelve years down the road?
>Or ponies who live in cloud houses-Don't get too stupid, Claire
>That shit would fall and kill somebody
>Looking around, you notice a particular shop...
>"Bon Bon's Bon Bons!"
>A candy shop, you can only presume
>Wait...
>Her name isn't Bon Bon in the show
>It's Sweetie Drops
>So... this is someone else...
>Right?
>Curiosity overflows, as you walk towards the shop, entering it
>Nope, that's Bon Bon, alright
>She sits at the counter, waiting for a customer
>She's fucking bored, there
>Hoof on her check, waiting there...
>Poor girl
"Uh... Hi?"
>And that bored face perks up, immediately
>"HI THERE, CUSTOMER!" She exclaims, her bored expression changing into one of excitement
>You take a seat at a stool near the at the counter
>This place kind of resembles a bar, more than a restaurant
>Maybe it's just the stools that throw you off
>"Oh! You're one of the new bronies!"
>Oh, so she knows about you all?
"It's human, actually. There was a bit of a mistranslation when we first got here."
>More like interruption
>"Ah, I see. So, Mister-"
"I'm a girl."
>Jesus Christ, is this a fucking running gag?
>"My bad. All of the bronies I've seen so far are all males, so I just assumed..."
>Look at the tits, Bon Bon
>Look at the tits, they're not that hard to miss
>How is it that Twilight is the only one that notices?
>They're not THAT small... are they?
>No, they're average, at worst
>Probably D, at best
>Maaaaaybe DD...?
>...Why the fuck are you complaining about people not noticing your tits?
>And WHY are you complaining about your breast size?
"Well, good thing I'm not one of the more aggresive women from where I come from."
>You are
>You just aren't black
>"Well, what would you like, Miss?"
>No money
'A job, please.'
"You seem a bit lonely. Why don't we talk awhile?"
>Jesusu Christitu, it feels like it's fucking midnight, talking to this pone
>You feel like you're talking to a bartender
>"Sure, why not? I've got time to waste, and merch to watch, rot on the shelves."
>You crack a smile at the comment, getting a bit comfortable
>"So, where're you from?"
"I'm from..."
>Now how do you answer this?
>Do you tell her you're an alien from another world?
>Or do you say "I'm not from here" and be all edgy and cool
>...Fuck it
>/mlp/ would hate you for this
"I'm... just not from here. Nothing more, nothing less."
>"Oh please. You're a new species, that just appeared in great masses out of nowhere. If you were a one of a kind, then maybe I could believe the buffalo shit you're sputtering."
>Woah there
>Calm down, ma'am, this is a colorful place filled with technicolor horses
>Cursing isn't allowed here
"I thought ponies didn't curse?"
>"Whatever made you to believe that?"
>How about the fact that nopony has even uttered a single curse before?
>Oh
>And the T.V. show
>That too
"Well... you guys seem so innocent. I thought cursing wouldn't be the type of thing you guys do..."
>She is VERY different from your headcanon
>...No she isn't
>She's serious, a no nonsense type of girl who works hard
>...Maybe it's just a bit weird, with Lyra not being by her side, bouncing off of her bitterness
>Plus, her name
>SWEETIE Drops
>Average pony-goer, or average 5-year old girl, would've guessed she'd be the sweetest mother fucker
>Like Sweetie Belle
>Ironic, you have to say
>And you love it all too much
>She cracks a bit of a smile, reaching for a shelf above her
>"Well, it's good to know that you're not from here. 'Cause you obviously don't know jack-shit about ponies."
>Wow, okay
>Stop cursing, please
>It's triggering you
>Not really
>But it's breaking your headcanon
>And you don't like that
>She grabs a box of chocolate bars, and opens it
>"Ahh, still fresh."
>She sniffs the air, and her smile grows bigger
>"Want one?"
>Simple question
>...Doesn't feel like a simple question, though
>The way she asked it...
>Like it's life or death, or something
>...Or you could be extremely autistic, and just looking into things
>"Well?"
>Right, you were at some place
"Yeah, I'll take one. Thanks."
>Hope to God these aren't poison
>...Or maybe Jewish
>Then you'd have to say G-d
"Wait... don't I have to pay for these?"
>"For humans, it's free. Take it as a welcoming gift. Besides, it might get get rid of this merch I have."
>For humans?
>"So, about my first question..."
>Oh yeah
>Where you come from...
"Well, we come from another planet called "Earth"."
>"Another... planet?"
>She seems fascinated by the fact
"Yeah."
>Possibly another universe altogether
"There... people are assholes."
>Your mind goes to the people who drove you insane back at home
>"Really? But you're so kind. You'd think the majority were pretty nice."
"Well, there ARE some revolutionary beings, from there."
>MLK
>Ghandi
"Of course, they're just trying to solve the corruption that's on Earth, anyhow."
>Corruption from people like:
>Hitler
>Sadam
>God
>Hey, he made the damn place
>He's responsible for this shit
>"What did they do, exactly?"
"The corruptors, or the revolutionary?"
>"Revolutionary."
>This should be fun
"Stopped slavery, for one."
>And that's when her expression of wonderment turned into despair
>"Y-You... enslaved your own kind?"
>No, not your own kind!
>Just the blacks
>...Maybe killed a Jew, here and there
"My ancestors did, anyway."
>Wait...
>You were supposed to think that
>Fuck
>"That's certainly... interesting."
"Don't worry, it doesn't happen anymore."
>In the first world countries, at least...
>"What else did they do?"
>...Shit
>You don't want to tell her about the guy who killed 11mil+ people
>Nor do you want to tell her about the moon
>R.I.P. Neil Armstrong
"A lot more than I can remember."
>She smiles, putting a hoof on her cheek
>"You gonna eat that candy-bar?"
>Oh fuck
>You almost forgot
"Heh, sorry. Guess that shit just slipped my mind."
>As you open up your chocolate bar, you notice her looking at you a bit...
>Odd
>She's fascinated, of course
>But... maybe a little TOO fascinated
>"What was life like back on Earth?"
>Taking a bite out of the chocolate bar, you-Holy shit this is great!
"Damn, Bon Bon, this shit is great!"
>"Thanks, Human."
>Shit, you wish you had mo-...
>Wait
>You never asked her name...
"W-"
>"Sweetie Drops, Miss. I get mistakened for Bon Bon a lot, but I'm used to it by now."
"Think ya could call me by my name, too?"
>"Well I would if you tell me."
>Snarky little...
"Claire. Claire Corlet-"
>...
>SON OF A BITCH!
>You seriously didn't just name yourself after a voice actress
>FUCK!
>Of ALL the damn names
>Sweetie catches on to your anger, tapping your shoulder with a hoof
>"What's wrong, Miss Bipolar?"
>Clever
"Nothing. You wouldn't understand even if I told you."
>...
>That was probably the edgiest thing you've said all night
>Couple that with the edgiest pony you've met since... ever, you're practically in EdgeTown USA right now
>"So?"
>...
>She has a point there
"Well-"
>Think through this, Claire
>What if she freaks the fuck out?
>What if she tells the masses?!
>...What if she's just mellow as fuck about it, just like she's been about everything else
>...Why the fuck not?
>YOLO!
>...Okay, now you're just TRYING to be autistic
>First, of course, you tell her about Televison, and how it's just like projectors
"Hell, I'm pretty sure someone could make a T.V. from a projector, if they had the right materials."
>And the right cutie mark
>What are you doing with your life?
>You're fucking explaining the concept of T.V. to a technicolor pony
>"Huh. Sounds like something Silver could make."
>Silver?
"And, that is?"
>"Local mechanic. Lives in the far edge of Ponyville, after the local Boutique. They're not that far away from each other, now that I think about it."
>Interesting...
>Note to self: Pay this Silver a visit
>The idea of a T.V. projector is in your head
>You just have to draw it
>...Too bad you can't draw
>"So, your problem is with this... T.V.?
>...Stop it short, moron
>Just think about what could happen if you tell her
"Yeaaaah... It's a bit bumming that I can't watch T.V. anymore."
>God you sound fat
>"Sorry for you."
>You take another bite out of your chocolate bar
"Thanks."
>Mmmmm, shit tastes good
>"You know, it's bad for a business if you're the only customer I've had in YEARS, and yet, I give you something for free."
'S'not my fault that I'm broke.'
"How are you paying for this thing, then?"
>"Guilt trips. I've been begging the Mayor to not shut me down for the pass three years. A whole new story, each time she comes around."
>...Shit
>You didn't think ponies were assholes, too
>"Funny. I only have this month to get my flank in shape, she says. I was planning to shut this place down, anyway."
>Swallowing your current chewed up piece, you take another bite of the bar
>"Nobody's gonna come to a place like mine with Sugar Cube Corner being so close."
"Well, maybe if you delievered these, instead of stayed in your shop all day."
>She perks up, again, a surprised look on her face
>"What was that?"
>Swallow again
"Delivery. The other big sweets shop is Sugar Cube Corner, right? They don't deliever at all. So, if you delievered and advertised your shop, instead of moping all day, maybe you'd get somewhere."
>She's silent, for awhile, slamming her hoof on the table after awhile
>"Damn, you're right!"
>Please, enough.
>Cursing isn't gonna solve anything, you piece of shit
>"That could increase profits from zero to AT LEAST ten percent!"
>...You guess?
>You know jackshit about math
>"Think you could take care of the shop while I go delievering?"
>...
>When?
"Depends. What am I getting out of this?"
>"Candy."
>Fuck you
"I mean the percentage of bits, smarty."
>"Hm... Five percent."
'And you must be out of your god damn mind.'
"What makes you think that 5%'s enough?"
>"What makes you think I'm gonna have enough money to pay you AND the bills?"
>Fucking shit
>This shit tastes too good for a measely "five percent"
>"Listen, Human, if you end up making more than what I expect at the cash regrister, then I'll bump it up to ten, maaaybe fifteen percent."
>Dick
>"But until then, you can go f-"
"Alright, alright, I get it."
>She starts to stare you down, both of her forehooves on the table
>And so, you mimic her... soon cracking a smile
>She puts out a hoof, a smirk on her face
>"So, it's a deal?"
>...Shit
>You do need some money...
"Yeah, why not, Bonny."
>You shake her hoof, with smiles each of your faces
>"Report here at 0600 hours."
>...Huh?
>"6AM. Come here at 6AM."
>Oh
>Wait
"Don't you think that's a bit early?"
>"It was joke, anyhow. Come here at 9AM. We'll start then."
>Perfect
>You've god a job, now, Claire!
>You're rising up in the world...
>Of five-per-fucking-cent
"Sure. I'll see you then, Bonny."
>"Right, Miss Bipolar."
>Little shit
>Exiting the candy shop, you look up at the sky
>...Is it three?
>Two... maybe?
>Should've asked the time...
>Whatever, you'll find out on your own-hey look, it's a pony!
"Hey there!"
>She turns to you, and smiles
>"Hey, nice to see you, again!
>...What?
>You haven't see-...Oh
"Blossomforth?"
>"The one and only!"
>Well then
>Lets just quickly count how many ponies you're in acquaintance with
>Sweetie Drops
>Scootaloo
>Applebloom
>Sweetie Belle
>Noi
>And Raindrops
>Including Blossom, that's now six ponies
>Ain't you popular?
"Well, how have you been since... last night?"
>She chuckles, and lands on the ground
>"Good, of course. How have you been, Miss-"
"Claire. And I've been great, to be honest."
>She smiles at you, a slight blush on her cheeks-Wait
>What?
>...Must be embarrassed, is all
>..But for fuckin' what?
>"So, what do you need?"
"Oh, I just need to know the time."
>"Fifteen minutes to two!"
>...What is that, now?
"Thanks, Blossom."
>"Oh, no problem, Claire!"
>You wave to her, and start to walk away
>Now...
>Fifteen minutes to tw-OH
>1:45
>...Duh
>You're not the brightest orange in the field, are you?
>So, you've been out since... what?
>11:30?
>That's...
>Fuck
>About two hours, or so
>...Not bad, seeing as how you practically killed a filly and talked to a mare for that time
>Looking down the road, you notice the line coming from the Castle is waaay longer than before
>Odd... but okay
>More people shouldn't have come... that'd be a bit insane
>But, then again, it's a bit insane that ANYBODY came here... at all
>...Yeah, how DID anybody get here?
>Did God just get fed up with these neckbearded assholes, and sent fifty or so to the heavenly land?
>If so, then God is an asshole
>Why would he terrorize ponies, just to satify some neckbeards?
>...You know what, you honestly don't want know
>Continuing on walking to... particularly nowhere, you let your mind ponder on... particularly nothing
>And why did those people not know their names?
>Is God so much of an asshole that he doesn't want people to know their names?
>Or... did he want everyone a new start in their favorite land of ponies?
>...Not bad, God
>Terrorize ponies, make neckbeards happy
>Bit of a horrible balance but... it worked
>Seein' as how ponies don't seem to mind the humans
>...By far, anyhow
>"Hey Brony!"
>Fuck
>Is that going to be a normal thing?
>Are ponies just going to yell "HI BRONY!" every other time you walk down the block?
>You wave to her, and smiled, walking slightly faster
>Bronies themselves may enjoy that... but you?
>Fuck no
>You'd rather throw up then be called a brony at every other turn
>There's a reason why you went on /mlp/ instead of EQD
>May have been a /b/ but with ponies, at times, but at other times, it was fucking great
>Really fucking great
>And, what?
>You're the only nor/mlp/erson, here
>The idea of going to Equestria by yourself is to meet and fuck ponies
>The idea of going to 'Questria with others is to hang out with your fellow nor/mlp/eople, while meeting and fucking ponies
>Not to be the only person from /mlp/, and just fuck around 'Questria
>With some autists blocking your way, every so often
>Like, could you actually find someone /mlp/ here... at all?
>You doubt it
>...Still waiting for someone to yell "I WANT TO CUM INSIDE RAINBOW DASH!"
>Oh god that'd be fucking hilarious
>Just imagine the controversy!
>...Shit, you've been walking a long way
>There's the Boutique
>Rarity's Boutique...
>Which reminds you
>You need new clothes-
>"OUT OF THE WAY!"
>JESUS!
>Rolling out of the way, you see Scootaloo scooting along on her scooter, along with the three filies, Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and Noi, all on a sled tied to her scooter
>Thank Celes-... God, she's okay
>"SORRY, MISTER!" The chicken yells, scooting away, as the three fillies chuckle to themselves
>And soon, they're out of the picture
>...Fucking asshole
>You're gonna eat that chicken someday, aren't you?
>"Are you okay, Miss?"
>Huh?
>You turn around, and notice the fashionista herself
>Oh good
>You've met Pinkie, Twilight, and now Rarity
>All you have to do is meet Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Fluttershy, and you've met the whole rainbow
"Yes, I'm quite alright." You mock, standing up and brushing the snow off of yourself
>"I beg to differ. Please, come inside. We can have some hot cocoa."
>No
>Fuck off, worst pony
"I'd... rather not. See, I have somewhere to be, an-"
>"Oh, I'm sure they can wait. Please, come in."
>God damn it
>You mentally sigh, as you follow the fashion horse inside her boutique
>Passing over the dead body on the shop floor, you follow her upstairs, for some cocoa
>You suppose you need it, after a wipeout like that
>Quite GENEROUS of her
>...Fucking bitch
>"Now, please, tell me your name."
>None of your DAMN business, bitch
"Claire, Claire Corlett."
>"Odd name, Claire. Although... it sounds so familiar."
>Huh
>Apparently Tabitha knows Claire
>But Claire doesn't know Claire, apparently
>...The fuck's up with that?
"That's weird. Have you ever known a "Claire" in your life?"
>Yes, says Tabitha, I work with her daily
>"Not that I know of... This is the first time I've heard the name, to my recollection."
>Too bad you don't know that she's your sister
"Odd. I just chose that name out of the blue."
>Technically true, sure, but it was based off of your subconscious fucking with you
>"Weird... Well, I'm sure it doesn't mean anything."
'I'm positive that I'm not apart of a T.V. show'
"Same here. It might be one of those funny feelings you get you feel like you know something, but you don't."
>She seems to be halfway done with the cocoa
>...Wait
>Did you even see her start?
>"So, Claire, you're one of the bronies, correct?"
'No, I'm HUMAN!'
>Seriously, you're going to kill the guy that interrupted you
"Yeah. I'm one of the bronies."
>"How does it feel, to be a brony, in Ponyville?"
>...What is this, an interview?
"It's... okay, I guess."
'I mean, you never get the chance to look at so much horsevag in one day.'
>...That just makes you want to throw up, knowing that some pervert out there is looking at all that horsevag
>And ponut
>Jesus Christ
>" 'I guess'?" She repeats, her head tilting to the side
>DING!
>"Oooh! The cocoa is done!"
>Thank God
>It may have been short, but you don't think you could take much more of her...
>She hands you-
>...Hoofs you-
>...Magics you-
>WHATEVER
>She gives you your hot chocolate, with a smile on your face
>"Be careful, it's hot."
>No shit
>You take it with caution, and sip on i-FUCK!
>She's trying to kill you
>She's trying to burn your tongue off, so you can't talk anymore
>Getting past the fact that your tongue is now dust, it's pretty good
>"You like?"
>You nod, however, you wish you could say no
>Moral alignment stops you from doing so
>Everytime
>"Great!"
"Uhm, can I take this to go?" You ask, timidly
>She seems to ponder this for a moment, before smiling and nodding
>"Of course! I'm sure whoever you need to go to is waiting for you."
>Oh yeah
>You forgot that you had "someone" "waiting" for you
>Wait...
>Silver's place isn't that far from here, right?
"Two more things to ask..."
>"Yes?"
"Which house is the Silver Spanner's home abode?"
>"We-"
"Lemme finish."
>You take a long pause, before continuing
>Just to fuck with her
"And, can you please draw something for me?"
>She tilts her head for a second, before obliging
>"What's the piece of art for?"
>"Art", she says
"You'll see."
>Another hour, or so, with Rarity, as she explains where Silver is
>She also draws your idea...
>Which looks completely stupid on paper
>The two projector reel wheels pop out of the back of the T.V., stupidly, in fact
>It looks silly, more than anything
>But, it works...
>The picture would be displayed on the T.V. screen, although, mirrored
>And, there's a place to put the reel wheel
>It's perfect... sorta
>"This is what you wanted, right?"
"Yeah, Rarity. This is wonderful."
>Abuse and use Rarity for your own personal gain
>Taking the picture, and your hot chocolate, you head downstairs
"Well, I'll be seein' you, Rarity."
>"Of course, Claire!"
>You look at the clock, before you leave
>2:58
>Jeez... There's no way you've been here this long
>Noticing Mr. Sleepy-head on the floor, you take a closer look at him
>Huh... it's the avvy
>Should of known
>Only an Avvy would sleep this lat-Well
>You probably would've slept this late, too, if Twilight didn't wake you up
>...The desire to pour your hot chocolate over his face is too great
>However... you notice that the shades were down...
>Rarity sure is kind
>...Not you, however
>Stepping over him, you open each and every shade that was on the shop floor, and take your leave
>Have fun in the sun, avvy
>Sip sip, on the cocoa
>Walk, walk, to the pony
>The walk wasn't really that far, as Sweetie mentioned
>Soon, you get to her house
>...You think
>It looks like every other fucking establishment in this fucking town
>That's another thing about being in Equestria
>You're not Pinkie
>You don't know everybody, and you don't know all the houses down to the greatest single imperfect detail
>But, you can't complain
>...Even though you just did
>You're with ponies
>All sorts of ponies, of every shape and size
>It's a simpleman's paradise-Weeeelll...
>More so a five-year old's paradise
>Five year old girl's paradise, at that
>Knocking on the door, timidly, at that, you hope you've hit the right house
>"Coming!"
>...Is that her?
>You wait, patiently
>...Kick some snow
>Waiting
>And the door opens
>...Is that her?
>She looks like a brown Lyra
>"Hey there!"
"Hi. You're... Silver Spanner, right?"
>"Yeaaah... What do you need?"
>She seems a bit... unsure
>"Oh! You must be my brony, right?"
>Room with a brown Lyra?
>Fuck no
>That's like being friends with a white and pegasi'd Twiligh-Oh
>Still
"Actually, no. May I come in?"

>And there, the two of you sit, across from each other
>She seems mildly interested in what you have to say
>Albeit a bit hesitant to let you in in the first place
>Gotta admit, though
>The chairs are comfy
>"So, what do you need?"
>Oh right
>Too busy focusing on these chairs
"Well, I heard you were the local mechanic-"
>"From who?"
>Bon Bon, duh
>...However
>That may not be the wisest of words to say
> 'Cause Bon Bon isn't her REAL name...
>Then again... everybody DOES call her Bon Bon...
>Well, lets just see how this works out
"The mare that runs the local candy shop told me."
>"Pinkie?"
>Damn it
>You shake your head, putting a chin on your hand-wait...
>Reverse chin and hand
"Well... Bon Bon told me."
>"Oh! You mean Sweetie Drops?"
>...Apparently the two names are interchangable
>Good to know
>You nod, and she smiles
>"Yeah, me and Sweetie Drops were good friends..."
>She seems to trail off, looking elsewhere
>...It's awhile before you snap her out of her trance
"Hey, pony still there?"
>"Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah."
>She's hiding something
>Hiding something... deep
>Eh, not your problem
>"What did you need, again?"
"I was just curious if you could build..."
>It takes you awhile to take out the picture Rarity made for you
>You put it on the table, a smirk on your face
"This."
>"...?"
>She looks at it curiously, picking it up with her magic
>"What is it?"
"It's a projector."
>"But, we already HAVE a projector."
"But... it's a practical version of a projector!"
>"The projector is a practical version of the projector."
>Maybe in your world, but...
"Just think of the money!"
>That doesn't phase her
>"Nobody's gonna buy something this ridiculous.
>Hm...
"Just think of how FUN it could be to make!"
>That makes her perk up, if only slightly
"Think about how easy these could be to make. We make about a dozen of these, see if they work, then split the profits! And you'll have fun with it aaaall the while! While making some sweet bits!"
>This makes her gears turn,-get it, cause she's a mechanic? No? Okay-as she seems to be considering it
>"Alright... Give me that." She says, levitating the paper from your hand to her face
>Ponder, ponder, ponder...
>"Alright, I'll make a prototype of this."
>Alright!
>New technology in Equestria, here we come!
>"I'll go to you when I finish it, alright?"
>You nod, a wide smile on your face
>You start to get up and leave, but she stops you short
>"...Where do you live?"
>Uh....
"You know where Raindrops lives, right?"
>She nods
>Thank God
"Yeah, I live with her. Just go to her house when you're done, then we'll talk."
>Again, she nods, getting up herself
>The two of you shake, hand and hoof, as you both go back to her... living room, you suppose
>She seems to be going to the basement... for whatever reason
>You take a quick look around her house, and sigh
>It feels very homey, in here
>Okay, now you kinda wish you got Ms. Likable instead of Sunshower
>She's anything but a Sunshower
>You take your leave, closing the door and taking another sip of your cocoa
>She may have tried to have your tongue killed, but at least it tastes good
>Now... Where to go?
>It must be about 3:20
>Blaze it... in an hour
>You think, anyway
>It could be 4:20 right now, and you wouldn't even know
>...You wouldn't really care, either
>You don't smoke
>You've never smoked in your life
>Too much of a Twilight Sparkle to smoke
>...Actually
>Twilight Sparkle probably has more of a chance to smoke than you, seeing as how she likes to experiment, a lot
>Speaking of...
>You should go check on the pony Princess
>She must be having a good time, right now
>...You think
>The longish walk back to the Castle wasn't much
>Seeing as how you've done this, what, three times, now?
>It gets easier
>"NEXT!" is the only thing you hear when you approach the Castle
>...Holy shit
>She must be annoyed...
>Well, you would be, too
>Neckbeards are asshol-
>"UGH! THIS IS NEVERENDING!"
>...Poor Twilight
>...Maybe you should go talk to her?
>"NO, APPLEJACK HAS ALREADY BEEN TAKEN!"
>Yeesh!
>...Maybe later
>She was so happy, earlier...
>Wait...
'Applejack has already been taken...'
>The words repeated in your mind
>By who?
>You didn't think AJ would be very open to the likes of y'all...
>This... makes you curious
>The Appleorchard can't be far from here... can it?
>It shouldn't be
>You hope it isn't...
>Honestly, your legs can't take much more of this walking
>You've walked left and right, up and down
>It's only the Z axis hasn't made you it's bitch, yet
>And whichever axis is diagonal
>Actually, that one killed you
>Like, straight up murdered you, brah
>But, whatever
>That's not important
>Taking another bite out of your candy bar,-you didn't forget it-you make your way downtown
>...
>Wrong way
>Looking east of the castle, you ponder where it could b-Oh
>East of the castle
>Shit, ain't that convenient?
>...Ain't that the longest walk on Earth, though
>Well, maybe on Earth
>Here, it's probably... what? A foot, at least?
>Confidence flows through you
>You can run this, can't you?
>Stretching out your legs, you can't help but smirk
>You're gonna be Sonic the fucking hedgehog all up in this bitch!

>FUCK YOUR OVERCONFIDENT ASS!
>You're not even halfway there, yet...
>Note to self: DON'T TAKE SAYINGS LITERALLY
>God... DAMN IT!
>The FUCK is wrong with you?
>Ugh
>After taking an hour's breather, you get up and head to the Appleorchard, once again
>Hopefully your legs won't burn to the ground, from it
>After what seems like TWO HOURS, you finally reach the gate of the orchard
>Opening the gates, you walk through the snow, to the opening of the barn
>...Shit
>They live in a fucking barn
>Somehow, this was never apparent to you
>...At all
>Knock knock knock, at the door.
>...Somehow, this is very scary to you...
>Y'mean...
>A. Being on a Rednecks Property
>B. Big Mac
>C. Rape
>D. Repeat
>You don't want to get raped by a horsecock, in the snow
>That's not apart of your pla-
>The door slowly opens, as Applejack looks at you
>And ooooh BOY is she angry...
>Ready your body
>"What the HAY are YOU doin' oh MAH property?"
"I-I... Uhm... I was... Just-"
>"Ah was told that YOU PEOPLE wouldn't be on MAH property."
'BIG MAC! HAND ME THE SHOTGUN!'
>All joking aside... you're fucking scared for your life
>What if you die, right here and now?
>What if this is your GAME OVER?
>Just put a GAME OVER logo, right here, right now
> 'Cause to anyone who cares, you're fuckin' dead
"P-Please don't hurt me..." You manage to mutter, frozen in place
>You shrunk to the size of a peanut
>Gulp...
>"Oh Ah'm gonna hurt ya, ahlright..."
>FUCK
>THIS WAS A MISTAKE
>RUN, YOU DUMBASS, RUN!
>You, can't, fucking, move
>You're frozen in f-...
>Wait...
>She looks...
>"W-Wait... are ya okay?"
>Worried?
>"Ah'm mighty sorry..."
>She takes off her hat, and looks at you with sorrow
>"Come in, why don't ya? Don't get worried, Ah'm not gonna hurt ya."
>Oh yeah fucking right
>She walks inside the barn, and you just sit there
>Scared
>Scared for the first time you've been here
>...
>"Well, what're ya waiting for?"
>Gulping, again, you timidly walk inside
>A-Almost done with the Rainbow, it seems...
>"Close the door in ya way in!"
>GAH!
>...That shouldn't of made you jump as much as it did...
>Quickly closing the doors, you rush over to AJ as fast as you can
>"So, how are y'all, Miss Brony?"
>Don't even want to correct her
"Fine."
>"Why'd y'all come to the barn? It's not even Apple pickin' season."
"Just wanted to say hi."
>Quick nervous answers leaves a confused AJ confused
>Silence...
>"Miss Brony..." She looks to you, with a look of sorrow on her face, "Ah'm sorry that Ah scared ya and everythin', Ah was just tryin' to have a good laugh..."
>...WHERE THE FUCK IS /THIS/ APPLEJACK IN THE SHOW!?
>You want reasonable, prankster AJ in the show
>Not boring, "Do this and you'll be fine, Sugarcube." AJ
>"Miss Brony?"
>GAH!
>...Know what?
>You think AJ should stay the AJ that AJ is
>Fuck this scary AJ
"Y-Yes...?"
>"You okay...?"
"Yes, yes, I'm fine AJ. Can I leave?"
>"How do you...?"
>Quickly realizing your mistake, you cower, putting your hands over your head
>"...Ah guess you ca-"
>You have never ran faster in your fucking life
>Getting far enough from what would be the Apple orchard, you huff and puff, regaining your breath
>Breath in... and out...
>Calm down...
>JESUS!
>You fall flat on your ass, hugging your knees, and sighing
>Note to self: Do NOT go back to the Applefarm
>Scarred for life, right there...
>...It's getting late
>And by that, you mean you're fucking POOPED for the day
>God fucking DAMN
>Too bad you haven't met Rainbow Flutter and ShyDash yet
>Your encyclopedia of ponies would've been completed
>Well, the mane six section, anyway
>Still need to go to Canterlot to finish the Princess section
>...Hopefully Cadence isn't as scary as Applejack
>But, you still need some rest
>...And to find Noi
>Shit, you almost forgot about the poor tyke
>And it's not even Nightfall
>Ugh...
>Well, hopefully something purely coincidental happens so you don't have to do much work
>...
>Damn it
>Actual labor, here you come
>As you get up and start walking, you also start to ponder...
>Where could the CMC be?
>Hm...
>Well, five places come to mind
>Rarity's place
>Your place
>Their club house
>Scootaloo's place (Where the fuck could that be?)
>And...
>AJ's barn
>And immediately, two places to cross out
>AJ's barn
>And the club house
>Only because both of those are near, or directly ON the Apple orchard
>And you already said that you are NOT going back there
>...Y'know, Scootaloo's house might as well be crossed off, too
>Only because you don't know where it is
>Plus, you don't want to meet Scootaloo's parents
>That'll break your autistic head canon
>So, that leaves two areas you can check
>Your house
>And Rarity's house
>Now... lets think about this
>You get to town hall, and sit on the stairs
>In the show, Sweetie isn't seen with the CMC much inside the Boutique
>And the only reason they would be your house, is because of Noi...
>So, that of course, crosses out the Boutique
>Which leaves Raindrops' place
>Obviously
>Good
>Find out Noi's not dead, and go to sleep in the process
>Perfect
>...Kind of assholeish, but, whatever
>Just as long as you didn't kill a filly
>As you get up from Town Hall, and start your trek towards home, you can't help but wonder...
>Are there even any other women in Ponyville?
>Or even Equestria, for that matter?
>...There has to be at least ONE
>...Right?
>Oh, and just imagine if you met her!
>...Wait
>Just imagine if you met her...
>Three scenarios pop into your head
>A. If she's from /mlp/
>If so, you two would talk about which stallion looks nicest, and which one you would fuck
>That, and show discussion, of course
>B. EQD/Le Redditz
>She can go fuck herself for all you care
>C. Tumblr
'What dead body? I didn't hide no dead body. I don't have no idea whatchu talkin' bout, massah.'
>Although, you might just make rivals with her if she IS from Tumblr
>Shit, you might just convince her to join your side, after you show her that "Hey, ponies say you fucking suck, bitch"
>...Then again, she might just say something like "ThAT'S NOT WHAT THEY WOULD REALLY SAY!"
>...This is real life, dumbass
>What they're saying now, is EXACTLY what they would say if the subject was brought up to them
> 'Cause, y'know, THIS IS REAL FUCKING LIFE
>Oh look, you're home
>That was fast
>Usually, you'd have to explore the concept of male-feminists before even being halfway there
>Knock three times, Dorothy, and you'll be sent home
>One
>Two
>Th-
>"It's, open."
>...That was harsh
>Slowly opening the door, you find that an angry Raindrops and a Noi, wrapped in a towel, shivering
>She has a smile on her face, though
>That's good... you guess?
>"H-H-H-H-Hi, M-M-M-M-Miss, Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Claire!"
>"Care to explain, "Ms. Claire"?"
>...
>Fuck