Bemusement

You read what is written on calm blue stationery with an oceanic motif:
Dear Avaris,

it has been quite a while since I heard anything from you aside of you
asking a clarification on a general statement last weave. I do hope this
letter, despite its contents, does find you well.

I wonder, what kind of shadow has fallen between us. Have I done
something to wrong you? Or did you realize that my friendship was too
much of a burden to carry?

The last months have found me, baffled, to have not even heard a breath
from you and it kept me wondering. What changed during that trial of
fortitude? I am writing you this letter because I am unsure where I
stand with you. And I do not wish to be a burden to anyone, not less
someone I do care about. A letter to give you time to think and reflect
before you answer.

If after your reflection, you decide that having this friendship is not
worth it, I'll bear no ill will against you, I would just rather know
where I stand. If I'm merely misunderstanding things, then do just let
me know.

Aeldra

-------------

Lady Aeldra,

I am well enough, now that the threat of the mad Goddess has been dealt with, to some extent. Concerned for the Lady, as ever. What of yourself?

I had not realised that there was a shadow between us at all. All that has changed in myself during my trial is that I grew more confident in my Fortitude. Perhaps something has changed in you, or how you regard me. I do not know.

I believe that my waking hours have simply not aligned with you in recent times, as they once did. I have not been deliberately ignoring you, as you seem to be interpreting such as. You have been likewise quiet - The road, as they say, goes both ways.

Regards,
Lord Avaris, Enduring with Fortitude

------------

Aeldra flits in, hovering in the air right next where she entered, eyebrow raised at you. "Tidings"
she says at last, "The road goes both ways, indeed, dear Avaris. I just kind of felt you never would
seek me out on your own... and it started to be painful." she points at a shimmering letterbox,
"hence the letter."

You have emoted: Sitting cross-legged upon the floor, pen in hand, Avaris is studying a sheaf of
papers, which are secured to a sturdy clipboard that he grasps in his opposite hand. At Aeldra's
approach, his antennae flicks upwards, preceding the rise of his head. "Ah. Well, as I mentioned, I
believe our waking was not overlapping as it typically does." Setting the papers down upon his lap,
he gestures aside with his lower, free hand. "In addition, I was somewhat busy. Standing vigil at
the healing mound, and so on."

Aeldra hovers midair, arms crossed in front of herself, "I don't know Avaris, perhaps. Does your
mind get so preoccupied with whatever is going on around you that you forget your friends?" she
asks, a slight tremble to her voice. "It truly felt like you didn't even remember I existed safe for
the one time when the election was discussed.". Yvai trots behind her, silver eyes trailed on the
faeling hovering above.

You have emoted: The immobile, curving plates of Avaris's face are, as ever, expressionless as he
regards Aeldra for a time in calm silence. Folding both pairs of hands atop one another upon the
clipboard that sits on his lap, the resonating chorus of his voice is level and steady as he
replies, "My duty to my Lady comes before all. That is as it should be for all within the Order."
The burnished gold of his heavily armoured torso gleams with each slow breath, the azure orbs of his
natural eyes unreadable.

Aeldra nods quietly, her face suddenly devoid of all expression, her eyes glistening. "I suppose
that is an answer." she says quietly. "If you do perceive me as a distraction from your duties, then
I certainly shall not keep you from them, Enduring Avaris." A shiver runs through her form, barely
supressed. "Maybe I have misunderstood you more then I thought I did. For that I apologize. I'll try
not to repeat the mistake."

You have emoted: "You seem insistent on assuming that I view you as a distraction, or that I have
forgotten you." Avaris observes evenly. The clawed tip of one of his index fingers lifts in a slight
gesture, the keen digit glinting in the light. "I have said nothing to indicate either. The Lady is
paramount in all things. Is that not so?"

Aeldra tilts her head slightly, considering you for a long moment before answering, "Indeed." she
shakes her head, frustration now showing on her expression. "As said, I do believe I have
misunderstood you more then I thought I did. I do not believe you understand the source of my
frustration, do you?" she asks, eyebrow slightly raised.

You have emoted: Aeldra's regard is returned with equanimity, as Avaris's own gaze remains
unwavering, the large kephera unperturbed by the attention. "You would not be the first," he replies
calmly, remaining as still as a statue forged of gold. "Perhaps not. Illuminate me on the source,
then, and we shall see if I am capable of understanding it."

Aeldra shakes her head lightly, "I do not believe we will be able to accomplish that, dear." she
shakes her head lightly, "this conversation here has made that rather clear." she pauses, turmoil on
her expression, "To me, it was, as soon as you had a task that you felt that you had to perform for
our Lady, it was as if you would not exist for me, or I suppose, for the rest of Celest. You would
follow that task with all that is in you, disregarding everything about you. Your focus is
commendable." she shrugs softly, "There's just this faeling who is trying to be your friend and
would've hoped to hear at least a sentence through the aether from you without having to seek you
out first?" And after another moments pause, she adds "And thus I had begun to wonder if I wasn't
pushing something upon you that you didn't want."

You have emoted: The massive kephera listens throughout without displaying so much as a flicker of
emotion, his antennae still as strokes of crimson paint upon the white background of the pristine
study's walls. The eyes of Avaris's wings glow with a steady, cool light as they watch Aeldra with
the patience of stone, and it is only when it is clear that the faeling is finished that he moves.
Tilting his head gradually to one side, he emits a soft, "Ah," before saying, "Your issue, then, is
that I put all that I am in my service to my Lady, to the exclusion of all else." Lifting his upper
right hand from where it rests against the others, he turns it aside in a slow arc, rotating it at
the wrist. "You do not like that I, to your view, neglect you, and Celest, when I am engaged in a
task for my Lady. Am I close?"

Aeldra taps her nose thoughtfully, then shakes her head in answer "Somewhat, but not quite. Your
task should go first and that is important, yet there is a difference between being focused on
something and losing yourself in it to the point that you ignore everything else." she adds, after a
moment of thought "And I would not speak of neglect or dislike, it is merely something I do not
believe I have understood till this point. You are who you are, Avaris and I do not believe I have
will nor wish to change you." she lands on Yvai, the battle sheep's head, folding her hands in front
of her, exhaling slightly. She looks at you many eyes, "There's only one thing I require of you,
Avaris... the answer to the question I initially posed: Do you want me around?". And with in almost
a whisper she adds "The rest... is on me, I suppose."

You have emoted: Avaris lowers his upraised hand once more, the curved knives of his fingers tapping
upon the armoured back of his other hands with a metallic clack. He remains silent for a time, the
largest of his right antennae twitching faintly. Faintly bemused, he asks, "So long as you serve our
Lady to Her satisfaction, why would I desire otherwise?"

Aeldra's shoulders slump down somewhat as her eyes begin to water, she turns away from you, "I have
a lot to think about, Avaris. I'll be in touch."

Lady Aeldra Ladyn, of Cerulean Waters says, "May the Light of Celestia guide your steps."

You have emoted: The broad, sanguine lines of Avaris's antennae curve down at the tips as he watches
Aeldra, the bemusement growing as he lowers his head in a slow, perplexed nod. "As you wish. Light's
blessings go with you, Aeldra."

You have been recognised by Aeldra for: For a rather difficult and very interesting conversation,
which will to have to be seen how it shapes the future.