The Long Game

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“Hey…” The blonde woman near-purred, sidling up to Carson and resting a hand on his arm. “...Buy you the next one of those?”

“No thanks.” The young man grunted, throwing back the shot of whiskey and taking a decent belt from the perspiring beer glass on the bar in front of him.

“Want some company anyway?” The blonde breathed huskily, pressing her bust against his bicep and moving her lips towards his earlobe.

Carson jerked his head away, tensing his arm and flashing a scornful glance at the woman. “...no thanks.”

“Fine, not worth my time anyway.” The woman spat venomously, stalking back to her group, her mouth puckered as if she had just eaten something sour.

“You’re crazy man…” The Bartender chuckled, pouring another shot. “...Piece of ass like that throws herself at you and you turn it down?”

Carson gave a slurring grunt, throwing back the shot as soon as the bartender raised the bottle from its rim. “I know how it works. She’d want a brand on my arm before she took my pants off.”

The Bartender folded his arms, staring at Carson suspiciously. “Got a problem with The Order, son?”

“I came into an Order bar so I WOULDN’T get hit on. I gotta worry about Humans now too?”

The Bartender pursed his lips in thought, his previously jovial nature vanished in an instant. “What you gotta do is show me some ID.”

“You’ve already seen it, come on now, I’m just here to drink.” Carson groaned. “You’ve got my ‘print, you know I’m good for it.”

“Yeah see now I’m not so sure I read it right.”

“If you want me out…” Carson slurred, guzzling the remainder of his beer. “...Just goddamn say so.”

“Y’know, I do think it’s high time you left.”

Carson staggered to his feet, shambling towards the door with as much dignity as he could muster. “Fine by me, your hooch tastes like feet anyway, and your whores stink.”

“I better not see you ‘round here again!” The bartender called after him warningly.

“See this, peckerwood!” Carson yelled over his shoulder, flipping the bird at the bartender. Dirty prick was like to run a train on his credit imprint, but that was Tomorrow-Carson's problem. He reached into his pocket, hand touching his keys before withdrawing it again. He was way too drunk for that… guess a cab was the only thing for it. Hopefully he would get one driven by a construct and not something more… proactive. He squinted at his wrist, myopically tapping at his PCs screen.

Then… he wasn’t sure… he must have tripped.

---

“Oh God...” Carson groaned, his body a roadmap of pain as he sat up, pathetically retching as the cheap booze enacted its pitiless revenge via his pounding head.

“Well look who’s finally awake.” A dark-uniformed Lizard-girl drawled mockingly from where she leant against a plain plascrete wall, its utilitarian grey-green unmistakable.

“What the… Where am I?” Carson mumbled, studying his surroundings with squinted, bloodshot eyes. Single bench built into the plascrete wall, metal toilet with sink-cistern, no seat. Ah hell…

“Drunk tank?”

The lizard’s expression became one of stony professionalism. “Holding cell. High Range DWI. You are damn lucky you only scraped up a Dryad’s tree, you stupid shit. Do you know how easily you could have killed…”

“Hol’ up, hol’ up…” Carson demanded, forcing the bitter bile back down his throat. “...I did NOT drive.”

“Oh really? Then explain to me how your car was found in loving embrace with said tree, your sodden ass splayed out in the driver’s seat?”

Carson played back the fragments of the previous night in his head. The bar, the Order bar-bunny… leaving… tapping at his wrist...

“I was ordering a cab…”

“Shut up. Not another word.” A new voice intruded, a power suit-clad Tanuki striding into the cell without so much as a pause, thrusting an illuminated tablet at the Lizard. “Bail’s been posted. Mr. Peters will be leaving with me.”

The Lizard glowered, before stepping aside, allowing him to follow the Tanuki past her.

“Oh damn…” Carson groaned as he retrieved his meager belongings, along with the form outlining the charges against him. “...Ma’s gonna kill me.”

“What part of ‘shut up’ are you having difficulty with, Mr. Peters?” The Tanuki snapped, grabbing him by the wrist and near-dragging him across the sparsely-populated carpark and towards a luxury sedan. “In.” She demanded.

“Alright, alright…” Carson acceded, sliding into the offered seat, making a noise of surprise as the Tanuki opened the opposite door, plopping into the seat next to him. “...Chauffeured? How much is Ma payin’ you?!”

“Your mother has not retained me.” The Tanuki muttered, grabbing a bottle of water from a small bar-fridge built in below the front seat, signalling the driver to leave as she did so. Retrieving a small vial of golden liquid from her patent leather case, she poured it into the bottle. “Drink this.”

“Well if Ma didn’t…”

“Less talking, more drinking.”

Carson shrugged, guzzling the infused water as directed… it tasted slightly sweet, yet not sickly, and the pain and nausea seemed to melt away as he did so. “Damn…” He sighed, revelling in the absence of discomfort. “...That’s good. Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. I need you clear-headed. Now. First thing’s first. Are you married?”

“No.”

“Girlfriend?”

Carson made a face, the memory burning a hole in his heart. “...No…”

“Well then don’t sleep with anyone for the next few days unless you want an instant family. That was Alarune extract. Diluted, sure, but the results will still be the same.”

Carson blinked, the Tanuki’s blunt forthrightness washing away the pain of memory for the moment. “Yes ma’am.”

“Good boy.” The Tanuki praised absently, crossing one fur-calved leg over the other and tapping away at another tablet with claw-tipped hands, her small, fuzzy ears twitching absently atop her head.

“Uh… Ma’am?”

“Mmm?”

“If Ma didn’t hire you, who did?”

“Get up to legal on level seven much?”

“Get out… Old man Walden posted my bail?” Carson exclaimed incredulously, before burying his face in his hands. “I am so fired…”

“If that were the case I highly doubt he would have bothered with your bail, Carson.” The Tanuki replied absently.

“But I’m just a machine tech!”

“Who we now know for a fact isn’t an Order plant.”

Carson blinked, before shifting in his seat to turn his torso towards the Tanuki “Wanna run that one past me again?”

“We know you didn’t drive last night. What happened was you were rather rudely rabbit-punched on your way out of that bar, and a number of that bar’s ‘regulars’ staged the crash. Clearly someone up there loves you, because the car wrapped around a Dryad’s tree instead of a roadside bollard or lamppost. Her healing magic was… quite remarkable.”

“And she just let me go?”

“Practically begged SecPol to take you away… You stink, Carson.”

Carson sniffed at himself self-consciously. “Well sorry, they didn’t exactly make with the full hotel package in goddamn jail.”

“Not like that… The Germans have the best word for it… Herzeleid. You’ve been hurt. Significantly. Hurt by someone close.”

“It’s not her fault.” Carson interjected immediately.

The Tanuki shrugged. “Not my business.”

“So… what’s it smell like?”

“Like the screaming of a starving baby.”

“That’s… not a smell.”

The Tanuki bared her teeth for a moment. “You Humans… How do you manage to survive with such stunted senses? Ignore the analogy. It’s PAIN, Carson, and it’s a kind of pain that few of us are equipped to deal with… Unrequited Love… it’s Anathema.”

“Seen enough comforting back-rubs turn into ass-grabs on guys seekin’ solace in the bottom of a bottle…” Carson retorted.

“Guilt, Regret, Loneliness, Self-Pity, Empathy… misplaced though it frequently is… That’s not Herzeleid.” The Tanuki scoffed, curling a lip at Carson’s argument. “You LOVED… Still do unless I miss my guess, and that Love was rejected.”

“Can we talk about something else?” Carson pleaded, squeezing his eyes closed against hot tears which threatened to spill forth.

The Tanuki shrugged. “You brought it up.”

“So what happens now?”

“You go to court, you plead guilty, you do your best to win the Oscar for false contrition.”

“Hold on now…” Carson bridled. “...You know I didn’t…”

“Mouth is open, should be shut.” The Tanuki snapped. “We’ve already planned this. There’s no way we’ll convince a Human Judge that The Order conspired to murder you. The conviction will be quashed, your record will stay clean, you’ll get away with counselling which ACTII will provide through the EAP…”

“I haven’t got enough personal leave for that…” Carson objected lamely.

“Carson, at what point did you think you got a choice in the matter?” The Tanuki mused smugly as the car came to a halt. “This is you, I believe?”

Carson looked out the window, sure enough, his simple house stood plain and unassuming at the end of his driveway.

“Thanks, I guess…” Carson offered, opening the door.

“It’s what I do.” The Tanuki sniffed by way of response, closing the door unceremoniously before the driver began to roll away.

---

“Carson Peters?” A woman asked, looking here and there about the waiting room. She could almost be mistaken for human, if not for the golden tint to her skin and the second pair of four-fingered arms sprouting below her shoulders.

Carson stood, smoothing his shirt and half-raising his hand. “I’m here.”

“Follow me please.” The four-armed woman beckoned with her left pair of hands. Carson nodded, following along behind her as she led him down the simple, almost hospital-scented corridor. Opening a door, she gestured for him to enter. Carson stepped through, before sucking air in at the opulence present in the room. Gold and crystal hangings adorned every wall, a large, heavy desk decorated with ornate carvings gracing a corner, a red-velvet and mahogany divan covering the length of one side, as well as a pair of stuffed leather armchairs.

“Come in.” A mellifluous voice insisted, as a golden-haired figure stepped around the desk, her eyes uniformly blue and near-luminous, her face so elegantly angular as to render her almost alien-looking. Her long, ears tapered to points well above the crown of her head, golden rings piercing their length.

An Elf.

“Come in.” She repeated in a tone clearly used to obedience. “We mustn’t lurk in doorways. It’s rude. One might question our upbringing.”

“Sorry ma’am.” Carson blurted, stepping the rest of the way into the opulent room and closing the door behind him.

“Very good. I am Doctor Nasha’lleyn A’gwynrell Ten-Temarra. You may call me Nasha, or Doctor Temarra as you feel comfortable.”

Carson swallowed, holding his hand out. “Carson Peters.”

The Elf graced him with the slightest of smiles as she took his hand, squeezing it briefly before gesturing to the chairs and divan. “Take a seat wherever you feel comfortable, Carson.”

“Thank you…” Carson murmured, seating himself on one of the armchairs. The Elf nodded, gesturing at the other, which shifted itself along the floor to face him a comfortable distance away at her magical command.

“Let’s get the obvious out of the way. I’m aware that you were not driving while intoxicated, and these sessions are merely a ruse to throw off the judicial system.” Nasha stated simply, sitting down in the chair and crossing one slender leg elegantly over the other.

“Respectfully then, Doctor Temarra, why am I here?”

“To get to the bottom of the real problem.”

Carson took in a shuddering breath. “Eloisa…”

“Is that her name?” Nasha mused gently. “I often find, in untangling the pained knots of the psyche, that it is best to start at the beginning and work one’s way forward. Why don’t you tell me about the first time you met?”

---

Inocência

---

“Carson! Get yer butt down here, we’re gonna meet the new neighbours!”

“Ma…” I groaned in despair, not taking my eyes off the vidscreen “...It’s just getting to the good bit!”

“Carson Malcolm Peters, if you make me come up there…”

“Coming!” I replied hurriedly. Ma had been making pie, and I knew a wooden spoon wouldn’t be far out of reach. I hurried down the stairs, to find Ma standing at the bottom, her flour-dusted apron across a bright summer dress, hands on her hips as she stared at me with practiced studiousness.

“I done told you…” She sighed, grabbing me by the shoulder and wiping at some imagined stain on my cheek with a spit-moistened thumb. “...To dress up nice!”

“Gross Ma!” I complained, struggling in her grip.

“Why’re your slacks all over wrinkles?”

“I dunno.”

“Did you hang them up like I asked?”

“Yes Ma.” I lied, immediately regretting it as her free hand whipped around to pop me on the backside.

“Lies make Baby Jesus cry, boy.” She chided, straightening my clothes as best she could, before sighing and rolling her eyes. “Guess you’ll have to do.”

“We ready then?” Pa drawled, ambling into the room and kissing Ma on the cheek. “Ever told you that you light up a room in that dress sugar?”

“Get on you!” Ma squealed, pushing at him playfully.

“Carson, you be on your best behaviour now.” Pa instructed sternly.

“Yessir.” I responded instinctively as Ma slipped her apron over her head, hanging it up in the kitchen and retrieving a voluminous pie-dish.

“That’s my boy…” Pa praised briefly, ruffling my hair.

---

“What do you want?” a woman’s voice demanded cautiously, the door opened the merest crack, a golden eye peering through to regard us suspiciously.

Ma pursed her lips for a moment, before delivering her sunniest smile. “Howdy neighbour! We just wanted to say welcome! We brought y’all a pie.”

“Santa Maria, Francisca…” A male voice declared, before lapsing into a stream of what best I’ve ever found out, was an obscure Portugese dialect. The door closed for a moment before a sunnily-smiling man threw it open. His hair was a dark brown, his skin the nebulous tan of the genetic melange found throughout Central America. “...Please, come in. My wife, she isn’t quite used to the American customs.”

“Thankee kindly.” Ma smiled, breezing in and presenting the pie dish to a figure that took my breath away. She was tall, her arms and legs furred to the upper arm and thigh with gold, black splotches here and there in a striking pattern. Her feline ears were pressed back against her skull, and she regarded Ma with no small suspicion.

“Well come on honey, don’t let my arms get tired!” Ma insisted, raising the dish briefly to insist the Cat-lady take it.

“This is… a present?” The Cat-lady asked hesitantly.

“Course it is darlin’!”

“T-thank you…” The Cat-lady murmured, taking the dish hesitantly before almost fleeing into the kitchen.

“She will warm up.” The man insisted. “It has not been easy for her to leave her home…”

“Oh poor dear!” Ma gushed, her hands flying to her mouth. “Well we won’t impose on y’all if…”

“No no! Please, let me offer you something to drink, we are neighbours, and I’d rather we be friends.”

“Man after my own heart.” Pa chuckled, holding out his hand. “Frank Peters, this here’s my wife Martha, and the boy tryin’ to catch june bugs with his hangin’ jaw is Carson.”

I shut my mouth self consciously. “Pleased to meecha sir.” I offered with practiced politeness.

“Paolo Gonzalez.” The man replied, shaking Pa’s hand warmly. “My wife Francisca you have met, and somewhere…”

“Yaaaaa!” a piping voice yowled, a cat-girl around my age flying down the stairs, bearing some kind of wood and obsidian sword. Standing in front of her father, she held the weapon out, glaring at us suspiciously in turn.

My mouth dropped back open at the sight of her.

Rolling his hazel eyes, Mr. Gonzalez grabbed the weapon, yanking it out of his daughter’s hand and shaking his head disapprovingly. “...This is Eloisa, who will behave herself in front of guests.”

“Exercise in futility, am I right neighbour?” Pa chuckled knowingly, drawing a laugh from Mr. Gonzalez.

“Well ain’t you just the sweetest little thing?” Ma gushed, bending over to look at Eloisa, who blushed crimson, her gold and black-furred paws ringing in front of her, a clawed foot twisting on the hardwood floor.

“Well let’s not stand out in the hallway, please…” Mr. Gonzalez continued, gesturing for Ma and Pa to join him in the lounge. “...Do you drink beer, Frank?”

“I’ve been known to down a few.” Pa smiled eagerly.

“You keep your head about you, Frank Peters.” Ma demanded threateningly.

“The ladies, they will keep us honest.” Mr. Gonzalez laughed again.

---

“...And wouldn’t you know it, the poor girl ended up hangin’ from the telephone wires, her little followers clamberin’ up a ladder to get her down, and she’s just hangin’ there like “Welp, this is my life now…” Ma recounted, shaking her head incredulously.

Mrs. Gonzalez put a paw across her mouth, stifling a laugh. “Baphomets… do they ever think anything through?”

“Honey I got a Holstaur friend who would just KILL for the recipe for these little cake thingies.” Ma gushed, taking another small pastry from the tray in the lounge room.

“I’d be happy to tell her… It… it would be nice to have friends again…” Mrs. Gonzalez trailed off, a look of pain I didn’t understand flicking across her face.

Pa got a thoughtful look on his face, before turning to me. “Carson, why don’t you take Eloisa and go play?”

“Are you sure, Frank?” Mr. Gonzalez asked, “I mean…”

“Not to fret Paolo, THEY ain’t welcome around here.” Pa stated with a kind of steely determination, flashing his ring briefly.

All the tension seemed to go out of Mr. Gonzalez as he sighed in relief. “Children, go play.” he agreed, waving Eloisa and I away.

I trailed the cat-girl outside where she paced in the yard slightly, not meeting my eyes.

“So…” I began. “...Ever go huntin’ for doodlebugs?”

---

“There!” Eloisa yowled, pointing with her clawed finger as another fanged beastie sprung from the sandy soil, chittering and lunging at us.

“Gottim!” I cried, reaching down and grabbing the fist-sized arthropod, throwing him into the bucket amongst the swarming mass of his doomed brethren.

“So now what do we do with them?”

“Feed eels.” I grinned smugly.

“Really?” Eloisa exclaimed incredulously.

“Trust me.”

---

“Wow! That one was huge!” Eloisa exclaimed as the serpentine form sank beneath the water.

“Told you.” I laughed, her eager joy infectious. “Pa says they get bigger every year, somethin’ about the magic the Mamono are puttin’ back into the world.”

“A-are you afraid of me?” Eloisa asked out of nowhere, suddenly shy again.

I raised an eyebrow at her. “Why would I be? I gots three catgirls in my class already.”

“I-I’m not a catgirl though. I’m Ocelomeh. Jaguar.”

“So?”

“So Mama says people think we’re dangerous.”

“But you’re my friend.” I stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Eloisa gasped, her paws raised to her bowlike mouth. “You mean that?”

“Course I d...urk…” I choked as a pair of furry limbs were thrown about my neck with reckless abandon.

“My first human friend!” Eloisa cried, overjoyed. Me, I was just trying to keep breathing.

“Carson!” Pa’s voice rang from the near distance, calling us back to the house.

“Eloisita!” Mr. Gonzalez’s voice sounded soon afterwards, the young Ocelomeh releasing me and running back towards the house.

---

“Eloisa.” I stated, pointing at the Ocelomeh who stood with the odd mix of Humans and Mamono, all waiting expectantly to be picked.

“Carson, what are you doing?” Tee-Dubya hissed, looking at me like I’d just grown an extra head.

“She’s fast, dude, real fast.” I assured my friend with a conspiratorial grin.

“But she’s a GIRL!” Tee-Dubya choked.

“Do you want to win?”

“Not if it means cooties! And Jimmy says Mamono girls gots super-cooties.”

“Hey!” I objected, rounding on my fellow human. “Eloisa doesn’t have super-cooties!”

“Oooooh!” one of the Human girls called mockingly. “Carson gots a girlfriend, Carson gots a girlfriend!”

“Do not! Shut up Mary-Beth or I’ll pick you last.”

“Don’t wanna be on your team, you stupid head.” Mary-Beth retorted, sticking her tongue out at me. “Cos Humans come from Mars, to be Rock Stars. Mamono come from Venus, cos they want Penis…”

“UMMM AHHHHH!” childish voices rang with amazed dread. “Mary-Beth said a swear!”

“Yes she did.” Teacher’s voice intruded, the matronly Hakutaku staring disapprovingly at the human girl. “Go inside Mary-Beth. You’ll stand in a corner and think about how it isn’t nice to say those sorts of things about people.”

“You don’t have to pick me, Carson…” Eloisa murmured, looking at the ground.

“I want my best friend on my team.” You insisted.

“Best Friend?” Eloisa echoed in amazement.

“I thought I was your best friend!” Tee-Dubya accused.

“You broke my Transformer.” I stated with the undeniable Justice of an eight-year-old. “And you didn’t say sorry.”

---

“Childhood friendships…” Nasha mused. “...They always seem sweetest as we grow older, and it’s never easy to drift away from someone…”

“We didn’t drift away though…” Carson interjected. “...In fact, things got more and more… complicated the older we got.”

“I see… Well… we’ll have more to unpack in your next session.” Nasha stated, standing to indicate that their time together was over. “Same time Tomorrow.”

Carson frowned as he stood.“I mean, I’d understand if you don’t know, but is the Boss really gonna be okay with me taking so much time off?”

“Oh trust me…” The elf smiled smugly “...I can have you for as long as I deem necessary.”

“That’s ominous.” Carson murmured as he left the opulent room.

---

Conflito

---

“You wanted to see me, Mr. Walden?” Carson asked hesitantly from around the doorframe.

The middle-aged man looked up from a desk terminal, his eyes widening in recognition. “Mr. Peters, please, come in.”

Carson nodded, entering the executive’s office, closing the door behind him.

“I trust there’s been no further issue with The Order?” Walden enquired plainly, folding his hands on the polished oaken desk.

“Well…” Carson trailed off.

“Mr. Peters, you’re wearing a company PC. Please don’t lie to me.”

Carson recoiled incredulously, raising his wrist about which the ubiquitous device sat. “You’re tracking me with this?”

“Of course we are, didn’t you read the EULA for the remote network access application?” Walden chuckled.

“Serves me right for just clicking ‘OK’ on the thing.” Carson muttered. “Alright, I threw down on one sumbitch last week who was harassing a weresheep. Wasn’t right, she was just tryin’ to do some shopping.”

“No fallout?”

“Nah, Local Cops, they’ve never been ones to care much about two guys sluggin’ it out. Less’n one of ‘em starts stomping on the other’s head, and I ain’t the kind to do that to a guy who’s stayin’ down.”

“That’s a plus, at least.” Walden sighed. “How much do you know about ACTII? In broad strokes, I mean.”

“Owns a decent chunk of the world’s communications infrastructure, and people keep makin’ noises about all the Embassy events it puts on… Apart from that, you pay on the generous side of fair, and you don’t make distinctions between Humans and Mamono. That’s about all I care to know, to be honest, sir.”

Walden steepled his hands in front of his face. “Can I confide in you, Mr. Peters?”

“Sir?”

“I recognize in you something of a kindred spirit. I don’t like to brag but I’ve an eye for… exceptional individuals. My brother John and the esteemed Kusanagi-San owe much of their continued freedom in Australia to the individuals I’ve put around them.”

“I ain’t interested in a transfer to Australia.” Carson stated firmly.

“I wasn’t offering one. Merely making the point. Have you heard about The Lodges of History?”

“Yeah, The Order’s puppet congressmen are trying to get it declared a Terrorist organization.” Carson snorted mockingly. “Ain’t it like the Elks and the Freemasons and stuff?”

“Very much so, in fact most of the founding members were Freemasons.” Walden nodded. “Not to tarry about the matter, but I’d like to offer you membership.”

“Me?” Carson blurted incredulously “I’m just a machine tech!”

“And?” Walden retorted mildly. “You’re trustworthy, the farce with your court case proved that. And your heart’s in the right place, or you wouldn’t have stood up for the Weresheep.”

“Shouldn’t you be headhunting movers and shakers? Kinda folk who can actually make a difference?”

Walden sighed, standing from behind his desk and moving to the window. “I’m going to tell you something that not many people know. The flow of time is no longer incomprehensible. There are… people… who’ve moved back and forth along its length. Something terrible’s coming, Mr. Peters, and we’ll need every good and honest man we can find to help stand against it.”

“Mr. Walden, I really don’t know… I’ve… I’ve got a lot of personal shit going on and…”

“Of course.” Walden nodded. “Think on it, you’ve got time… For now, we’ve all got time.”

“Alright.” Carson murmured uncertainly. “If that’s all, Mr. Walden?”

“Yes.” Walden sighed, resuming his seat and re-opening his terminal. “Oh, and Carson?”

“Yessir?”

“Call me Eric. Good luck with your session today.”

---

“How did you find High School, Carson?” Nasha asked as the young man reclined on the divan.

Carson chuckled dryly. “Goddamn hellish, but then again so did everyone else.”

“That’s a surprising amount of insight for a twenty-one year old..”

Carson waved that off. “Small town, Nasha. You get to see the guys who thought their whole lives would be football and pussy… pardon the french… and now they’re doin’ tyre and oil changes at Tanuki-Mart for ten bucks an hour with a Human baby-mama who makes their life miserable. Meanwhile the captain of the chess club who spent five weeks of the semester stuffed in his damn locker is a Haptic Interface Engineer with a stock portfolio and a Succubus wife who makes Pa’s old Centrefolds look like swamp hags.”

“But you were never either of those extremes.”

“Wasn’t fast enough for football, wasn’t smart enough for the chess club. Just kept my head down and did best I could.” Carson admitted.

“But not that far down.”

Carson raised himself off the divan on his elbows. “Someone been telling stories?”

Nasha smiled briefly. “Call it an educated guess.”

“Huh…” Carson grunted, reclining again “...Guess you’ve got me there…”

---

“C’mon man, do me a solid…” Joey begged.

I paused, turning to my friend and fixing him with a level gaze. “Last time I ran interference for you, you went and tried to take photos up that Lich’s skirt.”

“It was a public service! That ass does not deserve to be hidden away under those robes.”

“Tina’s gonna skin you if she finds you playin’ around again.” I warned “Then she’ll do me too for coverin’ for you.”

Joey gave a conspiratorial grin, his pimple-dotted face wicked behind his horn-rimmed glasses. “What she don’t know…”

“Crimenently… If you’re just gonna play around on that girl just break up with her already.”

“You kidding? She’s a diamondback… I do that and she WILL kill me.”

I clenched my fists in frustration. “Goddammit… Just…”

“Hi Carson!” a melodious voice called as an elegant figure of black-spotted gold breezed past me, surrounded as always by her ‘Pack’. Puberty hadn’t been ‘Kind’ to Eloisa so much as it had metaphorically bent over and begged for the whole eight sans lube. She was as graceful as a dancer, her voice musical as a singer, and she had the kind of charisma that could…

“God… if that’s not the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen…” Joey sighed, shaking his head sadly.

“Shut up…” I retorted, my face flaming. “You know she’s not allowed to date…”

Joey’s smile broadened. “Was that a slip, Carson?”

“I mean, We’re just friends!” I justified quickly “She’s practically my sister.”

“Uh huh…” Joey drawled. “...My pappy caught me looking at my sister like that he’d take me out back and shoot me his damn self.”

“You’d BE the sort to look at your sister like that…” I grumbled lamely.

“Rim shot fucker.” Joey quipped smugly. “Oh, and TW says Bethany’s finished that new batch of home-brew. Kegger on friday?”

“He do anything except get drunk these days?”

Joey laughed. “Leavin’ school to brew with a Satyros sugar mama was probably the smartest thing that inbred sumbitch ever did.”

The ringing of the morning bell brought our discussion to an abrupt close, as we shouldered our bags and headed to class with the reluctant trudge of the barely dedicated.

---

“What in Tarnation?” My maths teacher demanded as the sound of running feet drummed through the hallway. Blowing air through his walrus-like moustache, he all but waddled to the door, throwing it open to see students and teachers alike making a beeline for the front door.

“Orderlings shooting up the place finally?” a wolf-girl drawled cynically.

“Not funny, missy.” My teacher snapped, his jowls wobbling.

The wolf-girl curled her lip, her black bangs almost concealing the thick, jet-black makeup occluding her eyes. Goth wolf… I don’t remember her name but I remember her face just as clearly as if it was yesterday. Strange what sticks in the memory…

“What in the Sam Hill’s goin’ on?” My teacher demanded.

“Belinda’s pack’s gonna fight Eloisa’s!” Someone yelled from the hallway. “It’s a general evacuation!”

“Over a fight?”

“Dragons and Jabberwocky have picked sides!”

“Class dismissed.” My teacher blurted shortly, waddling his way into the throng. Most of the students joined him, chairs and desks being pushed carelessly aside. A few, however, their lustmord clearly awoken, headed in the direction the crowd was fleeing from.

“She’ll be fine.” I assured myself as I picked up my bag.

“But what if she’s not?”

“She will be.”

“But what if?”

“Ah hell…” I groaned, rolling my eyes as I ran towards the yelling and crashing sounds of what I could only assume was a full-scale war.

---

“Primo Victoria!” A Salamander hissed, planting her taloned foot atop the torso of an insensible Griffon, her tail and spine alight with flame.

“Did I not yield? Thou needst not gloat…” The Griffon groaned painedly, her taloned claws grasping at the Reptilian’s ankle from where she sprawled on the ground.

“C’mon Stephanie, you won, no need to be a bitch about it…” I chided, recognising one of Belinda’s coterie as I ran past.

“Hey! Carson!” The salamander remarked eagerly, slit-pupiled, draconian eyes widening as she recognised me. “How ‘bout a kiss for the winner?”

“Nope.” I stated shortly, not slowing just in case she figured she could take one anyway. How I’d managed to stay single was beyond me… It wasn’t for lack of offers… But Eloisa’s parents had told her in no uncertain terms that she wasn’t allowed to date… and it just seemed unfair to do something my best friend since forever couldn’t.

I’m serious, I really did believe that at the time.

I made my way through the wreckage strewn halls, dodging arcing magic and firey gobbets from the grappling forms of Dragons, Jabberwocky, and other aerial mamono which swooped overhead, coming at last to the cafeteria, where a rough circle of yelling, cheering Mamono had formed.

“Scuse me…” I remarked absently, forcing my way through scale, fur, feather and flesh.

“Hey! Look who’s here!”

“Took him long enough!”

“Shut up.” I grumbled, making my way to the front of the circle, inside which Eloisa and Belinda were swiping and kicking at each other with the kind of ferocity that took my breath away. Belinda, a hellhound who stood a head taller than me, her ash-dark skin barely concealing her rippling muscles, her eyes blazing with the lambent fire that was her namesake, her lips drawn back from pointed teeth in a rictus of battle-fury. Eloisa… poised, graceful, her expression cold, predatory, moving with such a sheer economy of motion, Belinda’s wild swipes meeting nothing but air every time… but Eloisa’s wicked claws seemed to be able to find no purchase on the Hellhound either. Back and forth, back and forth they went, one mistake, that’s all it would take.

My heart froze as Eloisa’s leg extended just a fraction too far, Belinda grabbing her about her furred calf, lifting her into the air and slamming her into the ground with an impact that caused even the spectators to recoil.

“Think you can run your own shit here, cat? In front of me? I’m the Alpha bitch in this school...” Belinda snarled, her heavy paw around Eloisa’s neck, her other curled, rearing back. “...Gonna mark that face up good, have fun being a virgin the rest of your life.”

Well… I guess I just saw red. Next thing I knew I had my arms around Belinda’s neck, hauling back with all my strength, yelling like a man possessed. To my credit, I did manage to pull her off enough for Eloisa to scramble from underneath her. Then, of course, Belinda got her balance, one of those paws caught me by the shoulder, and I was underneath her, those terrible paws on my arms, her teeth in my face, hot breath in my eyes.

“Carrrrrrson…” She growled. “...You stupid human… Know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna make you mine, right here, in front of everyone. Dumb cat lost the fight, now she’s gonna lose you too…”

Then I heard a noise that I’d never heard before, and hope to never hear again.

Eloisa roared.

There’s a particular lack of cadence to a Jaguar’s roar, if you’ve never heard one before. It’s not the rumbling boom of a Lion, or the long savage snarl of a Tiger. It’s almost like a lightning strike. Sharp, tearing… instantly present. Everyone, even me and Belinda looked up. Eloisa had another one of those primitive wood and obsidian swords, where she got it from, known only to her and God, and was rearing back, the muscles in her arms and torso rippling. There was no way anybody was getting out of the path of that thing… and then she swung it, right at Belinda’s face.

“Ellie, Don’t!” I heard myself yell… to see the jagged fangs of obsidian pause the merest fraction away from Belinda’s face. The Hellhound blinked reflexively, a few of her eyelashes brushing against the obsidian, falling away like a mosquito’s wings as they were severed by the razor edge.

“Get. Off. Him.” Eloisa snarled.

Belinda opened her mouth as if to respond, and then a horrible shriek rang through the air. There, in front of a group of SecPol officers, stood a grey-skinned woman in a long dress, her mouth stretched impossibly wide as she screamed, driving everyone to the ground, hands, claws, paws all clamped over their ears. My vision swam… and… well… that’s about all I remember about that.

That’s not to say that was the end of it, oh no. I mean sure, the Embassy covered the cost of the damage and the few hospital visits for the Mamono too stubborn to say Uncle… We dodged expulsion, but everyone involved were barred from all field trips and extracurriculars, including Prom… now that one caused some howling, let me tell you… Not to mention me and Eloisa were grounded for the remainder of our natural lives. No more sneaky weekend keggers for this boy, I tell you what.

It’s Ironic… Academically, it was probably the best thing that could have happened. All I had to do was schoolwork. I even went for some Gremtech certificates, just to stave off the boredom. PC was locked down, no TV… School and Church was all I got to do. Eventually Ma and Pa relented, let me start hiking again at least. So there I was, the sun setting through the trees, sitting on the bank of the creek out back of our neighbourhood, those big eels long ago eaten by Goblins who made themselves a warren under a nearby hill. And that’s where she found me.

“Folks let you out too huh?” I remarked, not turning.

“Yeah.” Eloisa replied, sitting beside me.

“Listen, I’m sorry if I fucked anything up there… I just saw her on top of you… I didn’t know what else to do.”

Eloisa looked at me with a mysterious expression, the corner of her mouth turning up slightly, her golden eyes luminous in the twilight. “Likewise.”

“We were pretty dumb, huh?”

“Why did you stop me?”

I gave a grunt of confusion, my brows knitting above my eyes, rolling that question over and over in my head. “From KILLING her? You’re playing with me, right Ellie?”

“Say I’m not.”

“That’s not you!” I blurted incredulously “You’re not like that!”

“Aren’t I?”

“No, you’re not.”

“If you say so…” Eloisa mused, whether she agreed with me or not, to be honest, I still can’t tell.

“Prom’s tonight.” I remarked, more to break the silence than anything else.

“It’s silly, but would you believe it, I really wanted to go.” Eloisa admitted, somewhat bashfully.

“Stag? Yer folks ain’t let up on that ‘No Dating’ thing.”

“Oh, they would have let me go with you.” Eloisa grinned slyly, shoving me gently with a velveteen paw.

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, because that would totally stop people from talking about us.”

“What makes you think I care?”

“Maybe I should just go join a monastery now, ain’t like any other girls are gonna gimme a shot after seeing your war-face.”

“Hey!” Eloisa yowled, shoving me again but rougher this time. “I’ve never stopped you from dating.”

“And just leave you hangin’? C’mon Ellie, there’s no WAY any girl would let us hang out like this, Human or Mamono.”

“That’s fair.” Eloisa admitted, silence falling over us once again, fireflies blinking to light in the bushes around us as the twilight faded into night.

“Nice night.” I remarked again, desperate to break that strangely uncomfortable silence.

Eloisa turned to me again. “Would you have gone to the Prom with me, if I’d asked?”

“You were really keen on it, weren’t you?”

“I think it would have been nice.”

I sighed, standing up from the creekbank, brushing the grass from my pants and holding out a hand to my childhood friend.

Eloisa looked at me uncomprehendingly. “What are you doing?”

“Fireflies are doing a pretty good job at the lighting, crickets are almost singing a 2/4 if you pretend hard enough. C’mere, I’m gonna give you your prom dance.”

“Carson!” Eloisa exclaimed in delight, taking my hand in her paw and allowing me to lead her away from the bushes and onto the open field. “I never knew you had it in you.”

“Yeah well…” I blustered, grateful the dark hid my blush, my quick spurt of braggadocio rapidly sputtering out as I put my hands on the slender waist of my Ocelomeh friend. Eloisa giggled girlishly, putting her paws around the back of my neck as we swayed back and forth on the field to the crickets’ desperate serenading. I’d known this girl since forever ago, and yet… alone on the field like this… my mouth was dry, my heart pounding in my breast like it was doing its best to bust out.

“Yeah… it would have been nice…” Eloisa admitted, her voice soft and husky, her breath sweet and warm on my face. “...But this is pretty nice too.”

“Yeah…” I gulped, licking my lips nervously.

Eloisa cocked her head slightly, her feline ears twitching. “Carson?”

“Yeah?”

“You can kiss me if you like…”

The world seemed to stop, my heart beating in my ears so loudly I couldn’t hear anything else. Yes I would like. HELL yes I damn well WOULD like, by golly! I leaned forwards, her soft rosebud mouth so close…

...And the spell was broken as a pair of blinding flashlights blasted us with pitiless white.

“That’ll do Cinderella…” Pa’s voice drawled from behind one of the flashlights. My heart sank and my balls did their level best to crawl back inside their body. If that was Pa, that meant the other one was…

“Time to come inside, Eloisita.” Mr. Gonzalez stated evenly in a tone that brooked no disagreement. Eloisa released me somewhat reluctantly, offering me a half-smile as she headed back towards her house.

“Trying to seduce my little girl, Carson?”

“N-no sir!” I insisted, mentally pleading for my voice not to crack.

“Cinderella?” Pa chuckled. “I take it back, Prince is turnin’ into a frog in front of us.”

“Ain’t funny Pa!” I objected desperately.

Mr. Gonzalez laughed slightly. “You’re a good boy, Carson. Always looked out for my Eloisita… But give up on this. Ocelomeh do things differently. Eventually, she’ll understand. Hopefully so will you.”

“And her feelings… our feelings… they just don’t count worth a damn then?”

“You’re young. You’ll learn.” Mr. Gonzalez replied, his flashlight dimming as he turned away from Pa and me, following Eloisa towards their house.

“C’mon inside boy.” Pa ordered simply.

“Some bullshit Pa…” I blurted in sheer frustration.

“Watch that mouth.” Pa snapped, clipping me across the back of the head, but not forcefully. I followed along beside Pa in sullen silence, before Pa’s sigh broke the quiet.

“I get it son. Really I do. But Mr. Gonzalez’s right… She ain’t a Holstaur or a Wolf-girl. Y’ain’t gonna have cute afternoons sippin’ out of the same milkshake down the malt shop. She’s different, she’s gonna approach things… differently.”

“Why the Sam Hill y’all actin’ like I don’t know my best friend?” I yelled, the dam breaking in my chest. “It’s Eloisa! We damn well grew up together! I think if anyone knows her it’d be me!”

“Wouldn’tve thought she’d try to kill that Hellhound, would you?”

That shook me. Not because he threw it out so casually, but because he was right. I didn’t see that coming. I never in my life would have suspected she would do something like that.

“You’re not like that!” I heard my own voice repeat in my head.

“If you say so…” Eloisa’s voice echoed, hanging like a pall over me for the rest of the night, driving away sleep and leaving me staring at the roof of my bedroom, my emotions aboil within me.

---

“You’ve been hanging onto this since High School?” Nasha remarked in amazement.

“Oh, that’s nothing.” Carson laughed bitterly. “For the rest of the year…”

“Carson we’re going to have to leave it there.” Nasha interrupted almost apologetically. “But I do want to continue in our next session… This time tomorrow again.”

“I am going to go back to such a backlog on my desk…” Carson muttered darkly.

Nasha raised a delicate eyebrow. “Doesn’t it feel good to work through it?”

“Not a damn bit, Doctor Temarra.”

---

Aflição

---

“...You wouldn’t believe the number of Jaguars comin’ for the wedding…” Carson’s mother’s voice rang out from the kitchen as he opened the front door to his house. Carson’s guts twisted at her words, and he slammed the door violently behind him. His mother shrieked briefly in surprise at the noise. “...Carson’s home honey, I’ll call you later.”

“What are you doin’ here Ma?” Carson demanded as the matronly human woman emerged from the kitchen.

“Don’t you take that tone of voice with me, Carson Peters!” She chided.

“Planning her damn wedding in my kitchen?” Carson snarled, stepping coldly past his mother. “Maybe I should just move out, let you do the reception here. Set the fuckin’ place on fire to end the night, that’d be something, wouldn’t it?”

“Now you listen here…”

“I’m done listening. You and Pa never gave a shit, did you?”

“You wanna talk about giving a shit? Ran off to get yourself stinkin’ drunk when you find out your oldest friend’s getting married? Not even a kind word from you?”

Carson rounded on his mother, teeth bared in an agonized rictus, jamming his thumb into his chest violently. “It should have been ME!”

Carson’s mother’s mouth worked, fishlike, almost like there was something she wanted to say but simply… couldn’t…

“Sugar… I need you to believe me, it’ll be alright…”

“Yeah… Sure Ma…” Carson sighed, all the energy seeming to leech out of him, his shoulders slumped in abject defeat. “...You can let yourself out when you’re done? I’m… real tired right now.”

---

“...and she was just in my kitchen talkin’ about the damn wedding like it didn’t mean a damn thing! She KNEW, goddammit…” Carson ranted, pacing Nasha’s elegant room like a caged animal.

“Have you tried talking to her, Carson?” Nasha interjected, the elf’s calm voice a rock against the young man’s bluster.

“And say what?” Carson laughed mirthlessly. “Oh hey! You’re back? Hear you’re getting married! Oh don’t worry about that pesky little promise we made, no harm no foul. That? Just my busted up heart, no big deal… No, go ahead, give it another good stomp, aim just left of centre this time though…”

“I think it might be more constructive if we picked up where we left off.” Nasha sighed sympathetically, patting the armchair and gesturing for Carson to take a seat. Carson let out a deep sigh, taking the preferred seat, elbows on his knees as he leant forward.

“Sorry Doc, I know ain’t a damn thing you can do about it…”

“We are doing something about it.” Nasha smiled. “You just don’t quite realize it yet.”

“If you say so.” Carson conceded, rubbing his forehead with a weary hand and leaning back in the opulent armchair. “Where was I again? Oh… Yeah…

---

Ma and Pa found plenty of ways to keep me from being alone with Eloisa on their end, and the Gonzalez’s did the same with her. Oh don’t get me wrong, we saw plenty of each other, just never without another pair of eyes nearby or some chatty friend playing the unwitting raspberry. Whatever had sprouted between us that night among the fireflies, seems like everyone was damned if it was gonna get leaves out.

And, you know, eventually it worked, the rest of school, finals, the inevitable college hunts, Summer Jobs… it all worked together to make that night seem almost like a dream. Life went on. TW got married to Bethany, that dirty goat-woman, about thirty seconds after he turned 18, and the two of them settled into a comfortable life of brewing, distilling, and not so much as sharing a GED between them. Joey’s girlfriend Tina finally got sick of his flirting and fooling around and well… I like Tina so pretend I said something kinder than “Raped the shit out of that boy ‘til he got honest”... ‘course her being twelve foot of Diamondback Rattlesnake Lamia, he spent a few weeks in the hospital after that. She doted on him like he done saved a busload of orphans every day he was in there though… I’m never gonna understand those two.

Me? Well, I didn’t have any real desire to go to college, and it seemed like the feeling was mutual, what with the endless string of ‘We regret to inform you’ that piled up in my inbox. I did enjoy the Gremtech certs I had picked up while I was still in trouble for the fight, so I jumped online to see if they had anything a bit more serious, so Ma wouldn’t stay up nights worryin’ about me wastin’ my life away all idle like. And wouldn’t you know it? They had a tech school in Little Rock, practically next door as far as it went. Hell, we’d driven further to visit Grandma when I was a kid. And of course they were more than happy to take me… or my student loan cheques… either way.

And just like that, the migrations began. This person off to Harvard, that person to UC Berkley, Someone else to Pre-Law in New Atlanta… Terry still owes me fifty bucks, heard he got engaged to a Tanuki last month, I told him he would, and me to some apartment above a workshop that belonged to Ma’s cousin. Eloisa though… Man, that was hard. Her Daddy’d pulled some strings, gotten her into some real private college in Argentina somewheres. We are talkin’ exclusive here. Like where the Saudis send their kids before they marry ‘em off to blood relatives...

What? We all know they do, inbred sons o’ bitches… anyway…

‘Net down there’s flaky at the best of times, without that you’re in some super-secret Mamono school ain’t no Human’s ever seen the inside of. So both of us were of course pretty upset that we wouldn’t be able to call each other. Hell, I honestly can’t think of a time before that where we went a week without at least talking. There was the going away party, hugs and tears all ‘round from the parents. I think Mrs. Gonzalez actually kissed me on the cheek, can’t be sure, she was all over tears that her baby girl was going to Argentina… Apparently it was a big deal for Ocelomeh. Everyone was real proud of us, and of course not a damn soul left us with ten seconds to be alone together.

It must have been about two in the morning when I woke up to scratching at my window. Sitting up, I spied a familiar, feline silhouette outside against the gloom.

“Ellie? What’s going on?” I mumbled, still groggy as I swung the window open.

“Shhh!” Eloisa hissed, clambering into my room through the now open window and sitting next to me on the bed. “I busted my suitcase, Pai’s gone to get me a new one from Tanuki-mart.”

“At two in the morning?”

“I had already packed, Mãe was not going to let him hear the end of it if he didn’t.”

I folded my arms suspiciously. “Why do I think that this wasn’t just a case of bad Chinese samsonite?”

Eloisa smiled naughtily. “Yes. I did it deliberately. I had to get away!”

“Why?”

“To see you, stupid!” Eloisa declared, throwing her arms about my shoulders. “I don’t know how I’m going to live without you…”

“Ellie, I…”

“Shhh…” The Ocelomeh whispered, putting a claw briefly to my lips, her face pensive, before replacing that claw with her mouth.

I don’t know how long I was lost in that kiss. It was heaven, my whole body felt like I was about to float away. Nothing else mattered, only her.

“Ellie I Lo…” I began desperately, only to have her hush me again.

“Wait for me, Carson. Promise you’ll wait?”

“You kidding?” I almost giggled with the sheer effervescent joy of the situation. “You name the time and place and I’m there for you. And if your Mom and Daddy don’t like it, well fuck ‘em, we’ll run away together. I’m such a damn fool! It was you! It’s always been you!”

“Oh Carson…” Eloisa almost sobbed, clinging to me fiercely. “...If you had any idea how happy it makes me feel to hear you say that, and how much harder it’s going to be to leave tomorrow.”

“Then let’s run away tonight.” I suggested, head full of brash confidence. Nothing in the world could go wrong now! We were together!

“It’s three years, Carson, against the rest of our lives, and this is important. To me as well as them.”

I nodded with not a small amount of disappointment. “So long as it’s important to you.”

“It is.” Eloisa insisted, kissing me again briefly before pushing herself regretfully away from me, clambering back out the window. Just before she left, she turned her head back, smiling at me winsomely. “Write me?”

“You know it.” I agreed fervently. “Even if I gotta bribe a Condor-Harpy to airdrop it to ya.”

“Don’t joke, that might end up happening.” Eloisa giggled, before scampering silently into the night.

I put my hands behind my head, my mouth unable to stop smiling, my heart feeling so full I thought it would surely burst. Today was a very good day.

---

The next three years… Well… it was a comfortable routine. Lecture, Practical, Assessment, Feedback, Rinse, Wring, Repeat. Bot-fights on the weekend, school set a ceiling on how much the programming students were allowed to gouge us for debugging our base behaviour routines. I’d write to Eloisa at least once a week, she must have gotten sick and tired of me complaining about how hard Android lube was to wash off my arms, or how many uses for a standard blowtorch I’d discovered, but she never complained. I got that many weird looks heading into the local courier’s office with nothing but an old paper envelope… must’ve spent a fortune on delivery fees. Never found out if I actually got my Condor-Harpy airdrop.

She’d reply when she could… She left out a lot of detail, by necessity I assume, but she’d tell me about trips up into the Amazon… Ancient cities that modern Humans never found, Old Gods still alive amongst their people, wandering through the jungle the same way they had for Eons, Mamono breathing new vibrancy into cultures long waned to near non-existence.

If I wasn’t already convinced that “Ilias” bitch The Order carried on about was full of crap, that alone was enough… Gods that had way more claim to Humanity than some new thot with a pole up her ass… still keeping on, doing their thing, not bothering nobody cos’ they were happy with what they had… But I’m getting off the point.

Almost before I knew it, I was standing on a stage, bending almost double as the Gremlin Dean hung a toolbelt around my shoulder (Seriously, why didn’t they get the girl a milk crate to stand on or something?) and handed me a steel-tubed certificate certifying me as a Gremtech-Certified Sapient Systems Engineer.

Before you start, I know what that means. I know I’m way overqualified for a Machine Tech. But I ain’t a Doctor or a Gremlin, which means about all anyone would take me seriously for was a glorified Automata Gynecologist, and the thought of starin’ at Robot-Girl cooch every day for a living didn’t seem quite appropriate, given the circumstances. So home I went, and considering ACTII was still the biggest fish in the pond, I applied for their associateship… was promptly rejected, before the Gremlin in the machine pool recognized my name from one of her Practicals I’d apparently impressed her on, and demanded I be brought on there. Salaried package, bank was more than happy to let me sign on that little place with a yard I call home… Didn’t feel right moving back in with Ma and Pa… as well as… you know… having other plans.

I know, I’m stalling, this is hard enough as is. I got word she was coming home in a couple months. I had the place all ready. Bought more homeware than I ever conceived existed as a bachelor. Bought a new suit, went to the Jewler and bought a ring… I was going all out… Then shit decided to up and turn in on itself.

I had missed her welcome home through some contrivance of fuckery involving a Wyrm and a highway bridge. Ended up having to stay the night in some roach motel (With actual roach girls besieging the room for the better part of it) halfway home. Made as quick a time as I could the next day, bought a bunch of lilies (her favourite) and went on over to her parents’.

Mr. Gonzalez opened the door with a strange expression on his face, like I was the last person he expected to show up. When I asked if Eloisa was home, he shook his head.

“She’s getting ready for her wedding, I’m afraid Carson, she’s not for seeing visitors today.” Then he shut the door in my face.

I dropped the lilies somewhere between the door and the car, I’m pretty sure. I don’t remember the drive to the bar. At some point I screamed myself hoarse… pretty sure I bloodied my knuckles up on the dash… Then… well…

---

“...You know the rest from there.” Carson sighed, his eyes distant, toying with an object in the pocket of his jacket.

“You still have the ring then?” Nasha queried delicately.

“I can’t bear to return it… Like… That’s admitting that she’s gone… That I’ve… That I’ve lost her…” Carson choked, his face contorting as a sob wracked him.

“Let it out…” Nasha whispered, her delicate hand on his arm.

With a tearing cry, Carson began to weep bitterly. “I’d give up everything…” he grated between sobs “...for it not to be true…”

“I’m sure The Order would tell you it’s a blessing in disguise.”

“Fuck The Order and Fuck Ilias with a rusty boathook.” Carson snarled. “This isn’t a blessing. This isn’t a good thing. This is… This is… It’s WRONG, that’s what it is!”

“And now you understand Herzeleid.” Nasha explained gently, moving to stand beside him, her long-fingered hand rubbing his back comfortingly. “How Mamono can’t bear it… How much that wrongness permeates everything around it.”

“You manage.” Carson sniffed, dashing at his tears as if embarrassed by them.

“I’m an Elf, Carson. We’re… not quite Mamono. Think of us as somewhere halfway between Human and Monster.”

“So now what?”

“Now? Now you go home, and next time we can go over where you go from here.”

Carson gave a bitter chuckle. “Same time tomorrow?”

“We’ll pencil it in.” Nasha smiled enigmatically. “I get the feeling you’ll have a lot to think about before we see each other again.”

---

Carson swore venomously as he saw the hallway light on in his house, the front door hanging open. There were no cars in the driveway, and Ma and Pa wouldn’t have left the door open if they’d let themselves in. Heat built in his chest, and his lips peeled back from his teeth in a mirthless grimace. He shut off the engine, easing the door to, not wanting to alert the intruder with the sound of the closing door. He edged along the wall in the entryway, sneaking a glance around the corner into his front sitting room.

His shotgun was still on the rack, the ammo box sitting undisturbed beneath it. Carson scrambled for the weapon, pulling it off the rack and loading shells into the magazine tube until it would accept no more. Grabbing another handful of shells, he stuffed them into the pocket of his jacket.

“Deep breath. Work the action fully. You’re only fucking yourself with a short-shuck.” He reminded himself.

“ALRIGHT, WHOEVER’S IN HERE BETTER COME OUT CLEAR AND PEACEFUL LIKE...” Carson roared. “...I’M LOADED FOR BEAR AND JESUS DISAPPROVES OF WARNING SHOTS!”

A soft “shlup” of a body landing lightly on the floor behind him sent a chill up his spine. Stupid… In a world of Monstergirls, he hadn’t checked the ceiling. Stars exploded behind his eyes as something impacted below his ear. As the world faded to black, a voice chuckled smugly.

“All too easy…”

---

Carson gagged against the rag in his mouth, impotently pulling at the coarse rope around his wrists and ankles.

“See?” A painfully familiar voice declared smugly. “He’s stronger than he looks.”

“Mmmph!” Carson yelled against his gag, eyes bulging as he stared disbelievingly at Eloisa. She was clad in beaded and tasselled hides, her skin painted with varied tribal markings. He writhed on the hard stone, trying to push himself onto his bound feet, the primitive voice of survival in his most basic mind taking full control.

“Still he fights!” Eloisa crowed to the other Ocelomeh, half-hidden in the dim light of… wherever it was he lay. “Do any dispute that he is worthy prey?”

The Jaguars snarled and yowled in response, rattling wood and obsidian weapons against crude armor. Carson managed to get to his knees, balling his hands in a hammerfist as he desperately swung at Eloisa’s knees. His childhood friend danced aside gracefully, his balled fists meeting nothing but air as despair flooded him.

“I will take such… SUCH pleasure in this, Carson…” Eloisa growled as she bent over, grabbing the rope between his hands in her paw, yanking his arms painfully over his head as she dragged him on his back before the slathering, yowling Jaguars. Carson bent his head backwards, redoubling his struggles as he saw the rude stone altar she was dragging him towards.

He knew his history.

He knew where the Ocelomeh came from.

He knew what that altar meant.

“Tezcatlipoca! Tezcatlipoca!” The Jaguar-girls began chanting as he was dragged like a sack of wheat onto the altar, the bindings around his feet secured to one vertical side, his hands to the other, his back twinging painfully as he was arched backwards over its unforgiving mass.

“Tezcatlipoca!” Eloisa yowled, throwing her paws wide as she genuflected before a massive disc of obsidian, its pitiless black depths reflecting no light. “Shrouded Mirror! Ipalnemoani! Tloque Nahuaque! Possessor of The Sky and The Earth! I have hunted long, and hunted well! See You this Prey I bring as offering before You, O Great God!”

“Mmmmmmmmph!” Carson yelled against the gag, struggling desperately as Eloisa ran an Obsidian knife along the front of his shirt and trousers, the fabric parting with barely a whisper, leaving him naked to the cool air.

The obsidian swirled in the dim light, darkness flowing amidst darkness, and a voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once.

“I acknowledge your hunt, my slave. Devour, as I have Commanded…”

“Titlacauan!” Eloisa growled, her golden eyes bright with a feral hunger as she brought forth an ivory spine from her hides, jamming it without ceremony into Carson’s torso.

Tears flowed freely into Carson’s hair as he squeezed his eyes shut, his head hanging upside down over the side of the altar, venom coursing through his body… Heat… Heat… Heat… Every nerve stood out, hypersensitive to the slightest stimulus. In abject shame, he realized his member had begun to harden, stiffening with every frenzied beat of his panicked heart. He felt hot breath against his parts, a wet embrace along his shaft as Eloisa took him into her mouth. Any moment now… Any moment she would bite down…

...But she didn’t… Content seemingly to lavish his tortured cock with lip and tongue, her velveteen paw reaching up to cup and cradle his balls. Carson moaned into the gag, feeling the beefswelling building… building…

With a choked cry, he erupted with a force he feared would stop his heart then and there. Eloisa moaned lewdly, guzzling his issue with reckless abandon, drawing her lips firmly up his length, drawing every last drop from him.

“The Prey has been Devoured!” Eloisa crowed triumphantly, her obsidian knife slicing through the ropes which bound his wrists and ankles. Naked, Carson rolled off the altar, curling in on himself and shaking with the aftermath of sensation. The other Ocelomeh roared, redoubling the clattering pounding of their weapons against the breastplates of their crude armor.

“Rise…” Eloisa ordered, standing above him. “...Rise and Embrace me… Husband.”

---

“What part of ANY of that…” Carson demanded, pointing beyond the hide flap which obscured the nameless cavern where he had just been ritualistically violated. “...Is supposed to make any damn sense to me?”

“Remember when Pai said that we Ocelomeh do things differently?” Eloisa replied, her smile somewhat sheepish. “Welcome to different…”

“If you knew how much I’ve hurt over the past week…” Carson grated, not trusting himself to look at her. “...I thought I’d lost you.”

“I know, my love…” Eloisa half-moaned, throwing her paws around him, her breath hot on his ear. “...If there was any other way, I swear, I would have taken it. You had to believe you were in danger. You had to believe that there was no hope. If anyone had told you… if you’d known at all… Tezcatlipoca demands prey, a genuine hunt, as it has always been. He would have been furious if you’d simply strolled in and lay on the altar of your own free will and accord.”

“How can I accept this?” Carson blustered, shrugging away from her. “You hurt me, you conspired to do it!”

“Mãe did the same to Pai…” Eloisa explained desperately, clinging to him tightly “...He understood… a short agony, tearing though I don’t doubt it was, against a lifetime of joy for us both… I’m yours, Carson, don’t you see? Yours forever!”

“If I accept this… savagery.” Carson grated, turning and holding the Jaguar-Girl at arms length “Believe you that it was necessary… Trust you with this… Then you’ve got to do something for me.”

“Anything, my Love!” Eloisa gushed, her heart in her eyes as she stared into his.

Carson took a deep breath, reaching into the pocket of the jacket which had been returned to him, along with a fresh set of clothes taken from his own closet, no doubt when Eloisa had broken in to ambush him. Sinking to his knee, he held out the ring.

“Marry me. Proper like, in front of our friends and family.”

“Oh Carson!” Eloisa wept, clinging to him again and showering his face in kisses. “Yes… Please... Yes…”

---

Exultação

---

“Now I understand…”  Carson continued, taking a sip from his drink to wet his throat. “...That some of you here tonight were privy to a certain cultural practice which caused me some small trouble recently. I’ve just got one thing to say about that.”

The Jaguars seated at various tables around the reception stiffened, a cagy look in their eyes. Eloisa gasped, looking up at her husband pleadingly.

“I love you.” He offered sincerely. “And I understand.”

A ripple of relief seemed to wash over the room, and Carson’s mother broke down, weeping openly where she clung to her husband. Carson’s father nodded approvingly as he held his wife, his eyes fierce.

“So with that, let me offer another toast, to one who might not get to hear it again. Y’might not understand, but I’ll ask y’all to indulge me nonetheless.” Carson raised his glass, chairs groaning against the floor as the attendees rose to mirror him. “To Tezcatlipoca, and I hope I’m sayin’ it right.”

---

“Welcome to the family, filho…” Eloisa’s father chuckled, throwing an arm around Carson where he leant against the balcony. “...you know, when you came to the door with those lilies, I thought maybe someone had given the game away for a moment.”

“I dunno why their God insists on that.” Carson murmured, returning the man’s embrace briefly. “If I didn’t love her as much as I do…”

“But you do.” Paolo interjected. “You always have. You have no idea how long it took your mother and father to understand… to see the necessity of it. We live in a world we only see a part of, but there’s so much more… such wonderful, terrible things there are in the world.”

“And more Terrible things are coming, I’m told.” Carson mused, gesturing at the ring on the man’s right hand.

“Ah… Eric has already made you the offer, yes?”

“Yeah… seems like a lifetime ago.”

“Have you made your decision?”

Carson looked lingeringly to where his new wife was being fawned over by a small group of women, her smile like a swift sunrise. “I’ve got somethin’ to fight for now…”

“Muito Bem…” Paolo nodded. “...Though your toast to the Shrouded Mirror… Not even I had the bolas to do that. You’re a rare man, filho.”

“Obrigado pai” You replied with a grin.

“Hah!” Paolo laughed, embracing you roughly before clapping you on the arms. “Rare man indeed. Now… I do believe my glass is empty.”

Carson chuckled slightly as the compact, dusky-skinned man weaved his way purposefully back towards the bar. Bethany and TW had stocked the bar generously at almost no cost to him… though they did seem to be doing their damnedest to empty it as quickly as they had filled it.

“All’s well that ends well, am I right, Mister Peters?” A man he didn’t recognise remarked, leaning against the railing next to him.

Carson frowned. “I don’t think I’ve met you… Mr…”

“Mirror.” The man replied, his oddly… dated jacket swirling around him, almost like feathers...

“Mirror?” Carson echoed.

“It’s as good a name as any.” The man replied nebulously, and for a moment Carson sensed the sheer POWER that the figure emanated.

“YOU!” He gasped, gripping the railing with white-knuckled hands.

“Me.” Tezcatlipoca stated simply, turning to face him.

“What… I mean… Why…” Carson stammered.

“You weren’t wrong in your toast, Carson.” the God mused, seeming not to notice the human’s shock and awe. “I likely won’t see another Devotion. Our time with this world is coming to an end.”

“B-but you’re a…” Carson ventured.

“A God?” Tezcatlipoca finished for him. “Yes… Yes I suppose I am… Of course I see it a little differently. Everything ends, in its own Time. Oh, I’ll be back someday, a seed on the winds of possibility coming to rest in fertile ground somewhere in the vastness of the myriad universes of light.”

“Your… uh… Godship… Can I ask…”

“Was it necessary?” the God finished for him. “They believe it so, and their belief gives it form… makes it necessary. In their minds, it's what they’ve been doing for thousands upon thousands of years.”

“In their minds?”

“Time and Reality are not the concrete pillars you Humans perceive them to be. Someday, a long time from now, you’ll come to understand that. But by that point, there won’t be any need for us.” Tezcatlipoca mused with the ghost of a smile. “And you have no idea how much that terrifies some of us.”

“Ilias amongst them?” Carson guessed grimly

The feather-jacketed God sighed. “That poor creature… She really has no idea that every move she makes hastens her own destruction. At the end of it all, the greatest agony will be hers alone to bear.”

Carson swallowed nervously. “I get it if you can’t tell me… but…”

“Is He real?” the God once again finished for him. “The Son? The Spirit? The Father? Any or either and all and none? Yes. And No. And Yes again…”

“That’s not really an answer.” Carson accused.

“It’s not a question you know the right words to ask. We are Of the All-Encompassing and We Return to the All-Encompassing. We Are, that We Are.”

“Now I’m even more confused.” Carson admitted.

“Good!” Tezcatlipoca exclaimed, clapping his hand on the Human’s shoulder. “They tell me that’s the beginning of faith. Oh, and Carson?”

“Yessir?”

“For what it’s worth, you were a magnificent sacrifice.”

“Carson?” Eloisa’s voice intruded, Carson turning to smile at his bride. “Who were you talking to?”

“It’s…” Carson began, turning his head to find nothing but a few stray feathers blowing in the light breeze of evening. “...Nobody love… just myself.”

“Wanna get out of here?” The Ocelomeh drawled naughtily, her moist lower lip caught in her teeth, her eyes lewd and suggestive.

“Don’t have to ask me twice.” Carson chuckled, his heart beating in anticipation.

---

“God you’re beautiful…” Carson choked, Eloisa standing naked and shameless before him.

“I made a wish to Tezcatlipoca…” Carson’s Jaguar-girl bride purred, striding confidently across the room, to sprawl brazenly on the bed.

“What was it?”

“Come here, and I’ll tell you.” Eloisa drawled, beckoning Carson to her.

As if drawn by powers beyond his ken, Carson followed her over to the bed, nestling himself in her embrace, his face buried between her firm breasts.

“For every moment of your pain…” Eloisa whispered in his ear. “...I wished He would give me a year to show you Joy.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve loved you forever.” Carson murmured harshly, his lips seeking hers.

“I’ve loved you… haaahhh…” Eloisa panted as Carson’s hands explored her body “...For longer than that…”

“I need you, Love…”

“Take me, Husband…” Eloisa pleaded, wrapping her legs around his waist. “...Please…”

Carson edged himself forward, the resistance of her maidenhead parting easily before him as he slowly entered her scalding core. Eloisa yowled, her claws drawing deliciously agonizing lines of fire along his back.

“More…” Eloisa panted, her mouth eager upon his. “...Please… More!”

Carson panted, his body moving in that ancient and intricate dance known only to lovers. Eloisa’s movements joined his, their lips meeting and parting in the secret language of passion. Her pleasure rose in concert with his, and she screamed in utter ecstasy as he erupted within her, their bodies, their souls, their hearts joined finally, at last, together as one.

---

“Niker’amin Nasha.” the Elf remarked as Doctor Temarra locked the door of her practice. “Everything is in place?”

“The Lodges will be fine now.” The she-elf nodded. “That Ratatoskr from the future told me enough. The Ainorn will burn, but we will endure… We just have to hold to faith.”

“Without the Silver Tower and the Wild Gods… How can we?” The Elf pleaded.

Nasha’s mind kept flitting to the image of Carson… holding to love, even when certain that it was forever lost.

“We believe, Tystales.” She stated simply. “We Believe.”