* that looks like a my tests passed dance
* I do love an organ in a jar
* your ego is writing checks your body can't cash
* it was tarantula season
* after that I'm going to make a bonfire of clocks and you're all invited
* did you just come from the gym? I don't want to call attention to you, but you look jacked right now.
* gotta keep a standard baseline of caffeine at all times. It's like the movie Speed but I'm the bus. I've got a tiny Sandra Bullock in me.
* hotel motel holiday inn is apparently a cultural reference
* he was onstage with a horse. the horse was also naked.
* so the question is, are you super cool.. all the time
* there's a donkey bartender
* yeah but I'm like an *elder* millenial
* "we'll have many opportunities to have toasts come up" "it's going to be a fuckin' bread factory"
* "well peanuts are legumes but we don't call them peagumes"
* "I scope people out in a room, like whether their pants are loose" "like, to pants them?" "...yeah"
* "everyone at the office looks so good toda.." (looks over and sees Kevin) "..oh."
* "did you win at putt putt?" "I can't beat my boss, in chinese culture that's bad luck"
* for those of you who were concerned about the massive bug outside the office, I’ve escorted it to a different location
* " I GOT A 100% ON GARGANTUAN" "I think I audibly whispered “oh wtf” when gargantuan came up."
* I feel like I'm at a really basic wedding
* New Jersey was not factored into any of our models
* "Do you have an extra helmet?" "No, sorry.. but I could find a really hard bowl or something."