The War Where Everybody Went Batshit Over Shit

Bats are very useful in the terms if nature. For starters, bats are known pest controller as they can eat several different bugs such as spider, termites, etc. Bats can also help pollinate plants via carrying it on their faces and bodies. Not only that; but, they can also disperse plant seed. However, there’s one other thing that they are used for. It’s no secret what guano is, it’s poop from bats and other species of avian that can be used as fertilizer. Now what if I told you that at one point in the history of five, yes FIVE, different countries there was a war over who can take control over a series of islands full of…well…shit. Not only that; but, it lasted FOURTHTEEN SHITIN’ YEARS. This is the story of Chincha Islands War.

During the reign of Isabella II rule over Spain, military spending was at an all time high. Because of this, Spain had the fourth largest navy in the world at the time. By the end of 1862, there were scientific expeditions on the South American ocean. This is because due to Spain wanting to (in a covert way) reinforce both financial and legal claims for the Spanish civilians living in the area. A expedition voyage commanded by the guy who was a descendant of two guys that accompanied Christopher Columbus (Admiral Luis Hernández-Pinzón Álvarez if you’re wondering) set sail for South America. They went to Chile to Peru then stopping at San Francisco for a few; but, they would get other plans.

On the 4th of August 1863, there would be a commotion happing in Talambo hacienda, in Lambayeque, Peru. Details of the event are fuzzy; but, all that was accepted knowledge was that a fight had broken out between forty locals and two Spanish civilians that ended with one of the Spaniards dying and four locals injured. The news of it got to Pinzón where he would rush back to Peru nine days later to demand an apology from the government along with some reparations. Peru would say that it was a police matter that the Peruvian courts will handle. This would lead to Spanish government to demand the debt payments from the Peruvian War of Independence and sent Peruvian Representative Eusebio de Salazar y Mazarredo handle to the rest. However, due to Salazar referring to himself as a royal commissary and not an ambassador of the now independent Peru, which would have been seen as an insult, resulted in negotiations breaking down. And now we get to the good part!

On April 14th of the following year, the Spanish fleet would take the guano-rich Chincha Islands as payback for Peru’s refusal to pay. They arrested the Islands’ governor, had 400 marines to take control of the Islands, and hoist the Spanish flag as a mark of dominance. The reason is that if the Peruvian government wouldn’t pay them the easy way, then they’ll pay the hard way by ransoming the Islands. You see the Islands were causal to the economy of Peru and made up 60% of the governments annual revenue. This made other Latin American countries quite mad at Spain for this act. Spain, however, would expect next to no military engagement from what they view as a military emaciated country. They even straight up thought about giving the Islands to Bri’ish-held Gibraltar. While attempts to push for a peace treaty were made and signed, general opinion at that time thought that it was a disgrace to Peruvian honor and Congress vetoed to ratify it. Thus on November 7th, the government of President Juan Antonio Pezet fell following an uprising.

Anti-Spanish sentiment grew in other Latin American countries such as Bolivia, Chile, and Ecuador. It even made said countries nervous of a second coming of the Spanish Empire of old. This made Chile to place an embargo on coal to Spanish as it was a valuable war resource. Of course this lead to Spanish to place sanctions on Chile. But because Spanish had no troops for a landing, they decided to go for a naval blockade of Chile’s ports instead. Of course lead to economic troubles for Chile. Even navies from the US and UK protested, even though they themselves were neutral. On November 26th 1865, Spain would lose a naval battle with Chile in the Battle of Papudo with zero causalities on the Chilean side. Though war wasn’t the on the mind of Peruvian vice president General Pedro Diez Canseco (who replaced Pezet), who in fact tried to avoid such an outcome. Canseco was deposed by the leader of the nationalist movement, General Mariano Ignacio Prado on the same day as the Battle of Papudo. Because Nationalism, the Peruvian government would declare war on Spain for Peruvian honor. Chile and Peru would later sign an alliance to beat up Spain on December 5th of that year, and was ratified by the Peruvian congress on January 14th the next year.

Peru and Chile wouldn’t be fighting the Spanish alone. As throughout early 1866, Ecuador and Bolivia would also declare war on Spain. And that was basically it as other South American countries did not join. An example would be Argentina, who was already warring with Paraguay. Chile’s naval force was damn near nonexistent, so Peru would send Captain Lizardo Montero with the steam frigates Amazonas and Apurímac to aid Chile. The war was a naval affair with mostly inconclusive endings to the latter three battles of the war and one Spanish win in the Bombardment of Valparaiso, one of Chile’s major ports. Soon the Spanish Government, seeing that there was no easy way for the Spanish fleet would receive aid making hard to hold their position, had the fleet to withdraw from the islands to the Philippines to return back to Spain.

Although there was no proof of Spain reclaiming it’s old holding, many Latin American countries view the whole occupation as an over reach of Spanish influence over the Latin American countries. If one would to ask any Spanish G-men at the time, they would say that it was a ragtag squadron of Spanish ships with less than favorable landing force trying to seize a bunch of islands of rich animal feces. Whether it’s one or the other, Spain would later sign peace treaties with the four Latin American nations over the coming years. Starting with Peru on 14th April, 1879 and ending with Ecuador on 28th January, 1885. There’s a valuable life lesson to be learned here…but I can’t find it…Don’t fight over shit…less you get…hit…? I got nothing…