Satanon and Disguised Anon story

from /hhg/ Helluva Hotel general #803 and #804
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https://pastebin.com/ciDBY4gP
Anyone remember Disguised Anon
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>Disguised Anon gets dragged on another visit to Millie's family ranch.

>Gets roped into chasing "varmints" out of the vegetable patch
>The varmints have acid blood and half the plants are carnivorous
>Not Venus flytrap carnivorous, more like those things in Jumanji carnivorous
>"They git grabby witcha jus' givvem a good bop on the nose there Darling. Show em who's boss"

>Stumbles across Sallie May practicing her "it doesn't count if no one finds the bodies" philosophy
>Tries to act casual and nonplussed by the mess of several different trashbags that are going to end up in different creeks all over the county
>Sallie May thinks he's getting fresh
>"Why Anon I do believe you are flirting with me~"
>"Oh Mistah Anon you're a big ol' flirt arntcha?"
>Anon now has the only impette in the family who's a bigger psycho than Millie trying to take him for a "midnight rodeo"

>At least the food's good
>These people make the portions at Cracker Barrel look stingy
>Although every meal is probably shaving a few seconds off of his lifespan
>Larded biscuits, country ham, smothered-this and chicken fried-that and coffee that could be used for chemical warfare at every meal
>He can almost feel his arteries hardening
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>Vaggie runs Satanon through stranger danger stuff, and what to do if a sinner offers him candy
>Satanon is annoyed; he's heard all of this before, and even then its not like he couldn't handle himself
>...
>Maybe he likes the attention.
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>It's not that Satanon doesn't want to socialize at all, it's just Charlie is...alot
>She's always so loud and flashy and glittery and colorful and she's always trying to hug him like he's a teddy bear or something
>Unless someone manages to make her angry, Vaggie's pretty soft spoken and subdued
>It's calm around her
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>"...and another thing, you need to try to be nicer to Charlie!"
>"She's your sister for goodness sake!"

>"She's not my sister."
>"I don't have a sister."

>"Yes you do. She counts whether you like it or not."

>Satanon looks at the floor and grumbles something

>"What was that?"

>"Nothing!"

>"Don't you start getting lippy with me young man"

>"I wasn't bring lippy!"

>"Well then what did you say?"
>"You said something"

>Vaggie folds her arms and taps her foot impatiently while Satanon steams
>Tip
>Tap
>Tip
>Tap

>"....sister."

>"What?"

>"I SAID I WISH YOU WERE MY SISTER OKAY!"
>"JEEZ!"

>Vaggie.exe has stopped working

>Satanon runs off to find a hidey hole to be embarrassed in before the moth demon can process what he just said
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>Niffty makes cookies for Satanon, fulfilling the desires of a 1950s housewife
>She also knitted him a hat once
>It even had horn cozies
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100% exactly what Niffty would do
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>Husk teaches Satanon how to "play" 52 Card Pickup
>Gets a freezing little fist to the jaw

>Vaggie technically has to ground Satanon for that
>She's trying her hardest to hide her laughter
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>Power supply for the fridges AND the ice machine manage to crap out at the same time
>Something something cheap remarks about cheap Chinese manufacturing something something all the beer is warm, the wine is warm, everything is warm
>Husk feels a phantom pain in his jaw as he remembers that Satanon has archangel-level powers of cryomancy
>A helping of boiled crow for you, Husk?
>Or how about a dozen?

>Husk sheepishly approaches Satanon to beg for his services
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>Satanon will only do it for a favor
>Husk has to convince Charlie and Vaggie to move his bedtime forward a couple hours
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>Razzle and Dazzle have horns
>Satanon has horns
>Satanon is 70% sure Charlie just keeps him around because he has horns
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>this implies that Charlie is hrny
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Nah. Charlie just thinks horned creatures are neat.
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I feel like there's some kind of potential to the fact that Satanon and RnD are all caprine.
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The whole world would be better if everyone were caprines.
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Something something goattowermeme.jpeg
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Gotes are the future.
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all demon species will eventually into goat or goat-like creatures like crustaceans turn into crabs, the caprinization will commence
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exactly
you can't beat perfection
all will become gote in the end
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Goat ethnostate when
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>goat ethnostate never ever
feels bad man
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>"Baaah!"
"No."
>"Bah bah baaah!"
"No I won't dress like you two! I don't care if we would match!"