Amara, I'm sorry for everything that I've done and all of the drama that I've caused for you and your server. I'm sorry for the fights I had with Caffeine. I'm sorry for all of the drama with me and TT. I'm sorry for the way I overreacted at relatively small things repeatedly. I'm sorry for the way that I insulted the way I run your server and staff team. I was just really mad at TT and blinded by my anger at the time. I'm sorry for all of the things that I've done. I apologize for being such a big burden on you. I really didn't intend to be such an annoyance this whole time. I'm sorry for the many things I've said. I really didn't intend to be mean or rude, though I often was. I also realize now that I've acted (childish, immature, rude, and even mean at times) isn't who I really am and hope that someday you'll forgive me and give me another chance someday. I also want to thank you for having as much patience with me as you did. You went above and beyond what most people would do and I'm sorry that I lost you as a friend.
Thank you so much for everything Amara.




There's also one more thing I want to add, but I just want to preface it by saying that **I'm not saying this to make you feel bad for me or to be my friend again**. I'm just attempting to give you some insight into maybe why I've been the way I've been.
Also, one more thing that I do want to add is that another reason I've been such a bad friend, which is also something that I can see in my real life, is that as you said, I've been really clingy. I don't really have very many close irl friends. Not very many friends. I have friends, just not a lot. Then there are the close friends that I have, and I've noticed that I have actually been pretty clingy. I'm very socially awkward and usually bad at social interaction and stuff. I'm not sure if it's just me, or because of my ADHD. I've been like that for as long as I can remember. In elementary school, I often overreacted at things and had emotional outbursts and was even kinda bullied. Back then I struggled to keep my anger and other emotions in check. I am sometimes like that if I don't take my ADHD meds. Basically, my ADHD, especially if I'm on a wacky sleep schedule or on little to no sleep and if I don't take my meds causes me to be very irrational and impulsive, although I've gotten better at controlling myself. Even sometimes if I do take my meds. We've tried upping the dosage, but it gives me a tick (at least I think that's the word) and makes me constantly blink my eyes all the time and it's really freaking annoying. I've gotten mostly over the bullying, but I think that it's affected the way that I make friends, and caused me to be clingy in order to keep the friends that I do have. I'm not sure of this, but it kinda makes sense in my head.
I hope that all makes sense and explains why I've often behaved the way that I have. Thanks again so much for everything Amara. I hope you can forgive me.




Also, thank you for making me aware of my clinginess to you. You are 100% right that I've been clingy. I'm not saying this in a way that I'm hurt by you saying that as it's true and it's something that I need to work on on myself. Thank you.