SnakeBomb Swap: Cold blood and Warm Bodies

from /hhg/ - Hazbin Hotel #320.
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>Dubs again
Alright.
---

>the heatwave rolled over the city like a duvet being unfurled for winter - heavily and mustily
>employees, like the 9-'till-5-ers, who usually aspired to be at the top of the food chain, now dreaded to even have to approach the top levels of their drab office blocks
>such was the case within the lair of one Cherri Bomb
>based on the Empire State and Chrysler buildings, her "Head Office" stood out among the glass and steel towers of her turf
>her first order of business upon acquiring the land from it's previous owner (who ended up as nothing more than a bloody smear on the asphalt - she even had that chunk cut out from the road, covered in resin, and put down in the lobby, where people could walk all over it. The hole in the road was filled in with slab of concrete, to mark the original location) was to either tear down, or "dress up" the Brutalist, concrete monstrosities that dotted the area
>a few, more interesting ones were kept around (and well maintained), but the rest were thorn down, or covered with a layer of decor and polished granite - no grey stone surface (apart from the sidewalks) was allowed to remain!
>as such, most of her territory ended up looking like downtown New York or Los Angeles, or more like Chicago or Detroit in their heyday
>that, of course, did little to help with the heatwave (though, she had planted a few roadside trees on the larger boulevards, and made a couple of parks), which meant that, like many other top-level penthouses or offices, hers was sweltering hot as well
>she sighed, wiping away some sweat from her forehead, as she continued to talk on her blocky landline
>"So, thanks to her calling it quits due to the heat, you shut down the office, went over to help Bratislav with some paperwork, and managed to find out and shut down the attack on the Hotel? Wow, dad, and for a moment I thought you're going soft!"
>the quiet reply from the other sign of the phone forced a smile onto her face
-
>"Heh. Alright. I may just close shop for the day as well. I'm all grody from sweat, and this heat is killer."
>there was an audible sigh, followed by some terse words through the speaker
>Cherri frowned
>"Whatever, daddy, I speak as I, like, please! I'm a grown woman!"
>an even quieter reply
>"DON'T! Even! Go there!" the cyclops snapped "It's all I hear from Maggie and that old geezer as well! I'm sick of it!"
>the next couple of words caused her to go beet red
>"WE ARE NOT AN "ITEM"!" she shrieked, scowling as the chuckles from the other end reached her "Look, I'mma bounce. I'll talk to Ker about closing up for today, and maybe I'll head out. We can meet up at the Hotel, if you'd like."
>following the agreeing noises, she smiled again
>"Okay, daddy, love yoouuuu! Byyeeeee!" and she popped a kiss before putting the receiver down with a groan
>it had been a long day, and it was barely past noon
>despite there being no sun to shine down upon Hell, the air still shook with heat, and the reddish sky seemed to pulsate like the inside of a blast furnace
>leaning back in her chair, Cherri sighed - her clothes felt moist and constricting
>she considered calling Ker up to the office - her Head of Security (usually seen with another guy called "Agent Ohio", a sinner who resembled an imp) would probably disagree with shutting the office down so early in the day, but fuck it!
>this was her damn company, and she wasn't going to put HER employees through this shit
>plus, there was no way she's going to pay for the AC of the entire building, when they had it at home!
>with another sigh, she unbuttoned her suitcoat, and tossed it aside, letting out a disgusted groan at the sight of the sweat stains under her armpits and down her cleavage
>a slight touch confirmed that she had underboob stains as well
>the entire shirt felt wet, it stuck to her skin, and the material had gone waxy from the sweat
>with a sigh, she stood up, and went for the door on the right
-
>the top level of the building was dominated by her office, a large, "THICK reverse L"-shaped room that, unlike the standards she set for the exterior, reveled in the brutalist style
>granted, she had most surfaces covered up with wood panels and mosaics, and what concrete was left barren was either painted or polished to perfection, and she had several plants (which Ker usually watered)
>on one end of the L faced the corridor where the elevator and stairs joined lead down to the building proper
>but on it's side, starting from where the small corridor ended, was the way up to her penthouse in the spire
>upon entering it, one may be excused to believe that it's interior was left unfinished
>in reality, she just preferred the "loft flat" look, leaving her apartment as sparse and minimalist, despite it's decor, as filled and lively her office was, despite its emptiness
>even in the dark, shuttered storage area, the air was stuffy and hot - pulling on the "light switch", the stairs (much like an attic ladder in a normal house) descended, leading her up to the apartment
>sparing no time, she made a B-line to her bedroom tossing her coat and soaked shirt off into the laundry basket besides the laundry room
>the pencil shortskirt and stockings were next - though, she struggled with the latter, as the thickly woven nylon clung to her like glue, and the tears didn't help
>finally, after much struggle, she was down to her undergarments, and went to toss the soppy mess that was her clothing into the basket as well - though, the garbage bin seemed just as tempting at this point
>finally, she entered the bathroom
>while musing on whether she should prepare a bath or just take a quick shower, her eye fell upon that most dreaded object: the scale
>her mouth pulled into a thin line, she inhaled, and approached the accursed device
-
>the mechanical scale spun quietly as she stepped on it, nursing vain hopes that the half-a-day's worth of sweating was enough to shed a pound or two
>but nope
>taking off the bras and panties, she tried again
>still nope
>"Oh, for fuck's sake!"
>sit down, pee, wipe, flush, stand up on it again
>maybe an ounce or so
>the cyclops gave a deep sigh
>one of the downsides of her sedentary, "peacetime" occupation as an office worker (the CEO, bitch!) was the combination of sedentary work... And stress eating
>mind you, she could quickly loose those pounds if she tried, but she was the boss! She wasn't supposed to be just seen out there, jogging
>she hated running, anyway, and her bikes always got stolen - even when she rigged the latest one up to explode like a pipe bomb (which the entire thing was, in all honestly - a pipe bomb that functioned like a bike)
>sure, her father brought up the idea of a swimming pool, but how the Hell was she supposed to fit all her hair into a swimming cap?!
>to mention nothing of the risks of going into a public pool - they may liked living in her turf, but the common man of the street was still and unknown number, an unstable element
>and there was no way she was going to build a private one - there was no room for it, and she wasn't going for move out to buy a house that had one, or enough place to build one
>besides, she got plenty of workout whenever HE showed up
>she grit her teeth, as she opened the taps on the tub - the smug snake was the bane of her existence!
>he showed no sooner than she rose to power, and had been plaguing her since
>no idea where his turf was, but she wouldn't have been surprised if he had gotten pissy (or rather, Hissy, heh) over one of the buildings getting knocked down - in which case, how the fuck was she supposed to know he made his hobo camp there?! Every fucking building here looked like it came out from the Soviet Union, or some deranged french architect's mind!
-
>she mumbled to herself as she let her hair down...
>wait, why the fuck did she do that?
>if a swimming cap was impossible, a hairnet wouldn't be any easier
>with a sigh, she just watched as her hydrogen-blonde locks came cascading down, her pale, freckled skin still shining in front of it
>she sighed again, staring into the body length mirror - this was not how she imagined her life would go
>then again, this was the afterlife - she died, and went to Hell, now, she was here
>she pinched at the pudge on her stomach - it wasn't too bad, many said her ample figure suited her
>...but that didn't stop her from feeling like shit
>the extra weight felt heavy, like chains binding her down
>"This." she thought, letting go of her skin "Is my punishment."

>"Admiring ourselves?"
>she froze, instantly
>"I dunno, lasssssie, I thought vanity was a sssssin."
>her mouth as tin as a razorblade, she stared at herself in the mirror - but in the corner, she could see him
>how'd HE snuck in?!
>"Then again..." "Sir" Pent went on, as he got off from the toilet, and slithered towards her "Can't blame ya..."
>still staring ahead, with her fists clenched and her body tense, she didn't reply - she tried to make out the sound of his movement, but all she could hear was the water
>only when he stopped right beside her, could she actually see him - and even then, from the mirror
>"With your hair let down like that..."
>a clawed, scaley hand motioned towards her rich locks
>"Godiva style..."
>it raked through them, gently
>"Your body is like a temple..."
>that... made her ease up - damn snake sure knew how to push her buttons, wrong or right
>a smirking face appeared through the curtain of her hair
>"A baroque temple."
>Huh. Interesting choice, but how--...

>...

>..:WAIT, DID HE JUST CALL HER FAT?!
-
>in a flash, her hand flew, only to slide through the air, unstopped, as the snake recoiled, laughing
>regaining her balance, she quickly clasped an arm across her breasts, and another in front of her mons pubis
>standing at an angle where she showed the least of her front, she scowled at the still chuckling Pent
>"YOU FUCKING PERVERT!"
>the snake demon pretended to be hurt
>"Oh! Ouch! That hurt!" he wailed, before chuckling "Come on, sweetcheeks! This is Hell! What did you expect?"
>"YOU NOT FUCKING ENTERING MY HOUSE!" Cherri snapped "NOW GET OUT!"
>"Hmmmm..." "Sir" Pent hummed, sitting up on his tail, and imitating the Thinker, before shooting her an impish smile "Nope!"
>blushing and snarling, she glared daggers at him... but did nothing
>this piqued his interest
>"Well?" he asked, sounding almost impatient "Aren't you gonna launch yourssself at me, to wrangle my neck?"
>the cyclops maintained her death glare, but said nothing, her mouth narrowing into a thin line
>"Aren't you gonna kick me in the crotch, and sock me acrosssss the faccce?" he asked, inching closer
>again, no reply, just a continued glare
>"Not even a sssslap?" he asked, his voice mocking disappointment. He was right next to her at this point, leaning in within arm's reach
>the arm covering her womanhood shook slightly, but didn't move
>they stood like that for a few seconds, before he leaned back
>"Huh... Well, thatsssss peculiar..." he said, and began to slither around her back "What's the matter, misssy? Are you assshamed I'd see your naughty bits?"
>again, she said nothing, and followed him with her eye as far as she could, but didn't bother to crane her neck - instead she just turned towards the mirror again, still glaring
>"Hmmm... Could be, but something tells me you aren't assshamed of your womanhood."
>...what was he getting at?
-
>her glare was broken, momentarily, as he popped out from behind her hair again, staring at her face through the mirror
>"Are you asssshamed of your body, then?"


>there was a long silence


>"...Get out."
>"Are you?"
>"Get. Out!"
>she whipped her head around, causing him to recoil again, both he and his hat staring at her, surprised
>glaring daggers at him over her shoulder, she hissed trough her teeth
>"I'll give you ten seconds to get out of the building. If you don't, security will make sure that the only thing they'll find is your skin, on my new boots."
>recovering, he just rolled his eyes
>"Come on now, you could get the ssssame resultsss if you waited until I'm molting. After all..."
>and he leaned forward, finishing with a smirk:
>"I've got a pretty THICK ssssskin."
>she just scowled at him - where the fuck was Ker?
>the Imp woman was recommended by both her dad, AND Bratislav, the resident "security expert" - being a single mother, she knew quite enough about defense, including the need to keep a low profile (which is why she used Agent Ohio as her "public face" - only a few people, like Cherri, for example, knew that the hulking red "imp" was actually her bodyguard, who spoke in her stead, while she acted as his secretary in public)
>and if she was so meticulous in her own defense...
>"...then why the FUCK couldn't she prevent this d-bag from getting in?!" Cherri pondered, as "Sir" Pent checked the water's temperature, murmuring approvingly as the tip of his tail splashed around in the tub
>but he quickly turned his attention back to her
>"Well, ten ssssecondsss have passssed." he mused "And, as far assss I can tell... Wait, lemme check..." and he patted himself down, before smirking again
>"I'm ssssstill in one piecccce."
>Cherri didn't reply. She just sulked
>raising an eyebrow, the snake slid closer
>"But sssseriousssly, what are you assshamed of?"
>he stopped again, beside her, looking her up and down
-
>the cyclops growled, low and angry, as the snake tilted his head left and right, his hood unfurling
>soon, several eyes were staring at her (including the hat's), and she shrunk slightly under their gaze, hands tightening over her naughty bits
>"Sir" Pent fronwed
>"Honessstly..."
>and he placed his clawed hands upon her
>they felt like talons, gentle as they were
>"You're gorgeoussss."


>I'm sorry, what?


>she froze, not from tension this time around, as her scowl faded, and her blush deepened
>Pent slithered around her
>"I mean..." he began, before suddenly leaning down "Look at thesssse well-sculpted calves!"
>huh?
>well, she guessed they were alright, all that running around did help...
>...was he caressing them?
>"Thessssse well-formed, ssssmooth kneessss, thesssse... Thick, generoussss thunder thighssss!"
>was he touching her?
>she watched, somewhat dumbfounded, as the snake did a full circle, his tail winching around itself as he continued to go around her, his hands slowly sliding up her legs
>"Thessssse... Lovely, wide, baby-begging hipssss, thissssss... Ample, round bottom!"
>she felt his claws slowly slip off her hips and dig into her ass, and rub circles into the cheeks, groping and fondling
>she began to feel hot again
>"Thessssse... Meaty ssssidessss, lovely lovehandlesssss... Thisssss... Pert pouch of a ssssstomach..."
>his caressing hands rose higher and higher, as he arrived in front of her again, his body coiled around her feet
>he stopped, his gaze falling low - he looked mesmerized
>was he drooling?
>"Thesssse... Lussssscious lower lipssss, thisssss ssssmooth, voluptuous monsssss venerissss, thisssss... Sssssoft... Triangle..."
>his thumb slipped in, then out of her belly button, as he continued his rounds, hands now fully groping her - she could feel his breath on her skin
>her legs were growing weak
>"Thessssse... Delicate handsssss, these.... Sssssstrong, meaty armsssss and rounded ssssshoulderssss..."
-
>"...Lovely frecklessss, by the way..."
>she bit her lip - a lone finger traced her spine, slipping between her scapulas, and stopping at the base of her neck - parting the curtain of hair
>"Thissss... Well-sssssculpted, sssstraight and sssstrong back, thisssss..."
>the same finger slipped around from behind her, arriving under her chin
>"...elegant, thin neck..."
>he stared into her eye, mouth agape, before his gaze dropped again - he had previously moved her hand covering his vulva, but the one covering her bosom was still in the way
>gently, with his other hand, he moved it out of the way, as his finger slipped downwards, across the collarbone, and slipping between her mounds
>"Thesssse... Beautiful, buxssssom beautiessss to balance out the bountyful booty downsssstairs..."
>the finger stopped in the middle, before scaling her left breast
>"Topped with thesssse bright rougssse aerolae...."
>it circled her aerola, inching closer and closer to her nipple, before the circle suddenly expanded into a spiral, quickly reaching the edges of her tit, at which point it slipped into her cleavage again, and began to scale the other, and seemingly began to circle the areola there as well - but then, the other fingers joined in as well, and slipped down the side
>he was cupping it and hefting it, his thumb lazily twiddling with her nipple
>"Thessssse... Teatssss..."
>she took a shakey breath, as he jiggled her tits, smooshing them together, before his hands slipped of her chest altogether, and journeyed up to her jawline
>"Thissss... Facccce..." he whispered, leaning in close, as his fingers touched her cheeks, a thumb coming to rest on her lips, while the other hand slipped up to her temples, and swept some hair aside
>their mouths agape, and their breaths dancing across each others' skin, his hand slipping behind her head, digging into her rich coiffure
>lips mere inches apart - they could practically taste one another
-
>then, "Sir" Pent suddenly leaned back, beaming cheerily
>"You sssssee?" he asked, in a chipper tone "You're a total sssssexmachsssssine!"
>startled, Cherri just stared at him, mouth still agape, before she closed it into a pout
>her hands suddenly clamped down upon Pent's arms - he didn't even see her lift them!
>next thing he knew, he was tossed across the bathroom
>however, with his body being curled up around the businesswoman's body, he inevitably managed to drag her along as well
>so, they flew... Right into the filling tub
>a wave of water came splashing out onto the side, coating the floor of the bathroom
>Pent groaned - he landed on his back, really putting his thick skin to the test
>however, he was more concerned with the shaking lump within the coils of his body - unfurling himself, he came face to face with the shivering, pouting Cherri
>he gave her a bemused look
>"Now my coat's all wet."
>she tore it off in a flash, the wet fabric landing in the puddle besides the bath with a wet splash
>shocked, the snake raised a finger to speak - only for his semi-dry hat to be flicked up his head (with a look of utter betrayal, as it bounced off the wall behind the tub, and rolled off, ending up behind the trouser press
>they laid there, naked, as the water continued to rise again - Cherri, panting, and "Sir" Pent, blushing
>he was painfully aware of their nakedness, especially since his rival had decided to sit down exactly atop his crotch - thankfully, his reptilian biology prevented the situation from escalating any further (but for how long, he didn't know)
>as Cherri gathered her bearings she leaned back, giving off a low, growling moan as she felt the thick cylinder of snake hide underneath - but then, she snapped her head forward
>"Right! Now that you're here...!" she began, reaching out for the faucet, and flipping on the shower "Time to get you clean!"
-

>before the dumbfounded Pent could reply, he was startled by a torrential rain battering down on him
>"Close your eyes~!" Cherri called out, as a splash of of something cold and slimy landed on his chest
>right in his eye
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--!!!"

***

>"If you're gonna break into my house, and touch me when I'm naked, you better be like, clean as a whistle, ya zeek."
>"Yeah, you told me that already, A HUNDRED TIMESSSSS!" the snake hissed, as the cyclops applied the eyedrops to his last eye
>Already, he could feel the pain easing, as his many oculars blinked, trying to get rid of the burning feeling
>they were still naked, but in the last hour or so, they've gotten used to each other's closeness
>he had to suppress a yawn - in order to calm him down while she looked for the eyedrops, Cherri had him stand in the walk-in freezer, and the cold was now putting him to sleep
>the room was dark, too - in a vain effort to keep the heat out, all the shutters were closed
>as he let the drops soak in, the softness of the queen-sized bed became really inviting
>so, while she walked out to deal with Ker on the phone, he laid back against the duvet and pillows, drifting further and further into sleep
>a light tap at the base of his tail temporarily shook him awake, and he looked up


>she stood there, in the light drifting through the cracks of the shutters, her long hair cascading down behind her, her naked body now presented proudly, tits gently jiggling as she kept poking her
>"God, you're beautiful."
>she smiled
>"Make some room."

>once again, they laid together, with her cradled in the coils of his body
>the only difference was that they were naked...
>...and, that she now rested beside him, and not just atop
>Pent sighed, and glanced at his frowning hat, ushering it to sleep
>he played with her hair as she snoozed, arms wrapped around his body, head across his chest

>"Some day..." he thought, and let the waves of sleep crash over him
-
Aaand, this is the end.
Call it "SnakeBomb Swap: Cold blood and Warm Bodies"