Saving Private Anon [Placeholder Title]

>You can't help DASH past everypony you see, your cyan wings flapping rapidly
>You're going as fast as Spitfire on a good day!
>Or maybe you're going as fast as yourself on a bad day
>Heh, who can tell?
>But today definitely doesn’t feel like a bad day, that's for sure!
>Although, one might ask, "why are you going this fast?"
>Besides the fact that you're Rainbow Dash and you can?
>Well, today you've got somethin' awesome planned
>Although that's pretty much everyday
>But today's gonna be even AWESOMER!
>You've been thinking about this day for weeks!
>Months, even!
>Years?
>Nah
>It hasn't been THAT long since you've met him
>Anonymous, that is
>You've known Anon for a couple months now
>It's been like, five, maybe?
>You don't really keep track of that boring stuff all that much
>All you know is that you've known him for awhile now
>And you--and your friends--were gonna celebrate it!
>And celebrate it BIG
>You're talkin' 'bout gifts, drinks, balloons, streamers!
>Shit, you'd get the whole TOWN involved if you could
>But, a nice party with just the nine of you would be good, right?
>All of you love and adore Anonymous in your own ways
>And it'd be good to see that in action
>Sure, some ponies love him more than others
>But a love is still there
>From all of you!
>One wouldn't need many more ponies than that to celebrate it, anyway
>Plus, Twilight advised against bringing the entire town
>You listened--reluctantly
>But you listened none-the-less
>It's Twilight, after all
>She's the egghead, the smart one
>She knows best
>But anyway, today, you're celebrating the first day you've met the guy!
>It wasn't on today exactly--again, you don't really care for dates--but that doesn't really matter
>It's not the date, but the memory
>And the memory of meeting him for the first time is probably one of the best memories you have with him
>Gosh, you remember it like it was yesterday!

>"Girls, I'd like for you to meet someone--"
"Twilight, please. I'm not interested in meeting another one of your prissy friends from Canterlot--"
>Rarity coughs
"N-Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course! I'm just sayin', I know enough of 'em as it is."
>Another, dryer cough from Rarity
"And they're not bad ponies! Not at al--"
>"Rainbow, please, just stop while you're ahead," Rarity sighs
>Yeah, good point there
>"They're not from Canterlot, anyway, so you don't have to worry about that," Twilight points out
>Which makes you take a quick sigh of relief, muttering under your breath
"Oh thank Celestia."
>You can't help but feel like Rarity heard that, though
>"Actually, they're not even from Equestria, as far as I know."
>You roll your eyes
"So, what? You meet a new Griffon friend or somethin'?"
>"No."
"Crystal Pony?
>"Nooo."
>You gasp
"A changeling?!"
>"Dash, no. Please, if you would let me expla--"
"Then what did you meet, exactly?"
>Twilight coughs, going into the back room to fetch whatever this is
>And back out a moment later, she has with her a… gorilla-lookin' guy
>He looks really, really weird
>A monkey without any fur
>While everybody was either confused, shocked, or excited, you…
>You honestly didn't have an opinion
>You were null about the whole thing
>"Say hi, Anonymous!"
>All he did was wave with what looked like a claw
>Like what Spike has
>But they weren't sharply tipped at all
>Since everybody else was either stuck in shock or confusion, you had to be the first one to speak up
"Yo."
>You fluttered a bit off the ground, so you could get eye level with him
>Honestly, the guy was really tall
>Almost as tall as Celestia, even
"I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in all of Equestria!"
>You lent out a hoof to him
>And he, of course, shook it with his claw-thing
>Guy had a nice shake, you've gotta admit

>The rest of what happened isn't really important
>You introduced everybody to him, in the awesomest way you could
>And really, from that point on, you two were the best of friends!
>It's like he was your long lost brother or somethin'
>Such a shame he only showed up now, instead of later
>Making an abrupt stop, you stopped in front of his house, a large smile growing on your face
>You landed on your hooves, folding your wings
>Time for this awesome day to really begin!
>You knocked on the door a couple times with a fore hoof
>No answer
>Weird
>He usually always answers the door
>No matter
>The door's unlocked, anyway
>So, you push open the door, yelling out his name
"Anonymous! Anonymous!"
>Again, no answer
>That's really weird
>It's still morning, so he couldn't have gone anywhere
>Unless you flew right past him on your way here
>…
>Nah
>That couldn't be the case
>He's too obvious to pick out!
>He must be sleepin' in his room
>Heh, he's as lazy as you are!
>So, you speed upstairs, stopping in front of the open door
>Hah! There he is!
>Hangin' from the ceiling
>Strugglin' and rocking back and forth
>With rope tied around his neck
>Good ol' Anonymous!
>Hahaha
>Haha…
>…
>You scream
>Panicked, you dash over to the rope, quickly gnawing it down to threads
>He flops to the floor as you quickly discard of the pieces that could've been called rope
>You take a second to look at his body
>Those first few tears start to show
>You speed about the room, looking for something that could save him
>Closet had fucking nothing
>His bed had fucking nothing
>Bathroom, kitchen, basement, holy fucking shit
>There was nothing
>You hyperventilate
>You're panicking
>You...
>You don't know what to do
>Quickly, you zoom back up to his destroyed room
>And, you look at him
>He can't look back at you
>He's...
>NO
>No
>Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
>You pound at his stomach, screaming at him
"WAKE UP! WAKE UP! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S CELESTIA PLEASE WAKE UP!"
>Tears are flowing down your eyes as you yell at him
>You can't believe this
>WHY WOULD HE DO THIS
>Fucking fuck what the hell is even going on
>You're pounding the shit out of Anonymous, crying in the process
>You honestly have no idea what the hell else to do
>You're desperate
>You're crying
>You want your friend back
>That's all you really want right now
>You want this to be just some silly dream
>In a second you'll wake up, panting
>Because you usually do that after a nightmare
>You'll hug tank and cuddle with him back to sleep
>Not before silently crying for a bit, though
>You've had nightmares like this for awhile, actually
>Sometimes they're of Fluttershy
>Other times they're of Pinkie
>The one that pops up the most is Anonymous, though
>You don't know why but
>You're just so afraid of him doing this
>You feel like he'd be the type
>Even though he looks so happy
>You'll wake up soon
>This'll all be over
>You know Anon's happy
>You know this is just a nightmare
>But
>You don't wake up
>You keep crying, you keep pounding on his chest
>On his stomach
>ANYWHERE
>You don’t give two muleshits about where you pound
>As long as something happens
>As long as he wakes up
>As long as you get to hear his voice again
>So you can stop crying
>So you can punch him for being such a fucking retard
>But it doesn't happen
>Why isn't it happening?!
>Why isn't he waking up?
>What are you doing wrong?
>You keep crying
>Tears fall on his shirt
>You stop trying
>There's no point anymore
>If he hasn't woken up by now…
>Then
>Then…
>No
>No no no no no
>Please for the love of all that's good in Equestria
>There has to be something else
>You have to try something else!
>He can't be gone
>He can't be
>There's no fucking way
>You break open his window and scream
"PLEASE, ANYPONY, PLEASE HELP!"
>You go to him once more
>You hold him once more
>You cry
>You've always been crying
>Your worst fear has come to life
>You do mouth to mouth
>You hit his chest
>You cry
>You hope to Celestia that something happens to make him wake up
>Wake the fuck up
>Please...
>Wake up
>All you can do is lie your head on his chest
>Hoping to hear something
>Anything
>A small heartbeat
>Something
>Just so you can stop fucking crying
>Eventually, you shut your eyes
>And hope that when you wake up
>You'll be with him again
>Please

"Seriously, you've never flown before?"
>He nods
"Pfft. I thought Twilight said you guys had things that could fly you anywhere!"
>"Well, when you've gotta pay a thousand bucks to even get ON a plane, it's gonna take you awhile to get anywhere."
>You chuckle
>...
>Then you raise a brow
"A buck's a bit, right?"
>He chuckles, too
>"Yeah, sure, let's go with that."
>The two of you were sitting atop of a cliff, the both of you looking down at Ponyville
>Luna's moon was as big and as bright as ever
>The town wasn't any different, either
>While only candle lights illuminated it, it still looked as pretty as ever
>It was always an impressive site to see
>Ponyville like this was pretty much the best way to see it
>You looked towards your friend
>He was only looking at the ground
>The drop from here could kill anypony not careful enough
"Hm..."
>Poor guy must wanna fly
>Never got a chance to back where he lived
>Suddenly, a huge smirk comes across your face
>What if you give him that flight he never had?
>Haha!
>Fuck yeah!
>He'll love it, for sure!
>Standing on all hooves, you begin to stretch out your wings
>He looks at you as if you were crazy
>Then your hind legs
>"What the fuck are you doing?"
>Then your fore legs
>He already knows
>Well, better not keep it a secret any longer
"Well, since you've said you've never flown before--"
>"No."
"Heh, I'll make your wish come true, and fly ya. For free."
>"Fuck no."
>Suddenly, he gets up, walking in the opposite direction
"Oh c'mon! Where are you going?"
>"Home, where I can't fucking die."
"Yeah, right. Best flier in Equestria, and you're gonna die, thanks to me. That'll be a story for the papers."
>He turns around, a hand on his hip
>"Have you ever had somebody ride on your fucking back before?"
"Yeah! Plenty of tim--"
>"While AIRBORN?"
>Ehhhhh...
>You cough
>"That's what I thought."
"You'll be fine! I promise!"
>"What if I fall off?"
"Pfft. Would I ever let something like that happen to you?"
>Now it's his turn to cough
>You smirk
>"Fine. But only for a second."
"Sure, sure."
>Yeah, right
>Like you'd fly him around for a second and be done with it
>He walks over to you and hops on your back, as you get ready for liftoff
"Ready, dude?"
>"You know I'm not."
"Ya better get ready, I'm takin' off in ten."
>He rolls his eyes
>Not that you could see that
>You just feel like he rolled his eyes
>You're too busy looking at the night sky
"Ready now?"
>"No, but lets just get this over with."
>Heh
"Lift off in three,"
"Two,"
>Fuck it
>Without even counting to one, you blast into the night sky as fast as you can
>And on your back is a screaming monkey, holding on to dear life
>Ha!
>Pansy
"Stop bein' a baby, Anon. We're not even going that fast!"
>"YES WE ARE, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, PLEASE!"
>Oh Celestia he's yelling in your ears
>Abruptly, you stop
>Which almost sends him flying off your back
>Almost
>You wouldn't let that happen in a million years
>"Fuck, I think I'm gonna be sick..."
>Again, you chuckle
>"You know, by slow down, I didn't mean STOPPING COMPLETELY!"
"You're such a baby, dude."
>He growls
>"You're fuckin' crazy."
"Hey, you're still alive, ain't ya?"
>He looks around for a bit
>Then he sighs
>"You've got a point there."
"Yeah, I know."
>And your wings start to flutter rapidly once mo--
>"HEY!"
>Really?
"What?"
>"Can't we go a little slower, this time? I'd rather not feel like I'm on the Rainbow Dash Rollercoaster."
>"Pfft, fine."
>You glide along the skies at an easy pace, one that won't have Anon screaming for his life
>Just so you can please your friend
>Heh, fuckin' pansy


>"Wake up…"
>"Wake up…"
>"Please, wake up, Anon…"
>What?
>The hell is she talking about?
>Her boyish voice actually serves to wake you up
>As if it were your alarm clock
>You open your eyes--OW
>You wince in pain, first of all
>God, your neck is killing you
>A hand goes to your neck, but it's stopped
>A pair of hooves get to it first
>And this actually hurts MORE
"Ow! Ow! Fuck, stop!"
>The pain causes you to open your eyes wide, seeing everything around you
>First thing you notice?
>Rainbow Dash, holding you and crying
>Wait
>Rainbow?
>Crying?
>Jesus Christ, who fucking died?
>Your eyes wander around, surveying the room
>It's a hospital room
>There's a balloon by your--assumedly--hospital bed, too
>It says, "Get well soon!"
>Wait
>Did you…?
>Oh
>OH
>Yeah
>You did
>Wait, if you did
>Then how are you still alive?
>Wait
>One of the last things you remember seeing before you knocked out WAS something blue
>Was that?
>…
>Huh
>So you DO have friends, afterall
>And here you thought nobody gave two horseshits about you
>Soon, the cyan mare lets go of you, the biggest smile you ever seen on her face
>Then, it's immediately replaced by anger
>Oh god no
"FUCK!"
>She punches you so hard that you swear you could've died again
>"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING YOU RETARD?! WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR STUPID FUCKING MIND!?"
>You were going to retort, but she wouldn't let you
>"I MEAN, REALLY?! YOU DECIDE TO… TO DO THAT!? WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS, HUH?! WHAT WOULD THEY HAVE THOUGHT?! WHAT ABOUT SPIKE?! PINKIE PIE?! WHAT ABOUT…"
>She stops, a nurse coming in to the rescue
>She gets Rainbow away from you temporarily, the mare now crying once more when she looks at you again
>"What about ME, damn it?! Did you even bother to think about your best fucking friend?!"
>Honestly?
"No."
>And there's another punch
>You're surprised you're not dead by now
>"WHY?!"
>Ahem
"I didn't even know that I HAD friends, if I'm gonna be honest with you."
>She stops
>Her anger dissipates for a look of sympathy
>She doesn't even look at you
>"Why?"
"Why?"

>You're Anonymous
>You're in Equestria
>And…
>You fucking hate it here
>Everyday, ever since you met those stupid fucking horses
>You've missed everything you once had
>And you're worse off here than you were at home
>Lets look at one example, first
>Your job
>Or, rather, lack thereof
>You're a stupid fucking human
>Not a magical unicorn
>An awesome pegasus
>Or even a strong earth pony
>You're just human
>The only thing special about you is your hands
>And even then, they're nothing
>Ponies have magic
>Ponies have wings
>Ponies have fucking HOOVES
>They can use their damned hooves better than you can use your fucking hands
>You wish this wasn't the case, but it's true
>It's stupidly true
>Next, your friends
>Or lack thereof
>Honestly, you've only connected with a couple ponies since you got here
>Rainbow, Pinkie, and Spike
>And Spike isn't a pony
>Everybody else is either insufferable
>Or flat out hates you
>Rarity, Starlight, and Applejack all fucking hate your guts for some reason or another
>And you can't even call the others who like you as "friends"
>They're barely even acquaintances
>Sure, you've done some stuff together
>But honestly, you're sure they're not too fond of you either
>Just like on earth, everybody hates you
>But unlike Equestria, on earth you had two good friends
>They were always there for you
>They always listened
>Sure, they started dating after awhile
>But they were still your friends
>You think
>And lastly
>Your family
>You miss your brother, your sister, your mother, your father
>They were there for you, too
>But now
>You'll never see them again
>They're fucking gone
>Forever
>You don't even have a FAMILY anymore
>Nobody who loves you unconditionally
>You have nothing to live for
>Everything you once had and loved is fucking gone now
>And everybody wants you out
>So
>You might as well just end it
>It's easier that way
>In fact
>You'll do it today
>Fuck everything
>Maybe you'll wake up in your bed after your done
>Maybe you'll be able to finally talk to your friends again
>Maybe

"That's why."
>You sniffle a little
>She sniffles, too
>And punches you
>Again
>"Please stop hurting the patient, ma'am."
>Rainbow ignores her
>"You're… You're really stupid, Anon."
>You raise a brow
>She takes you out your hospital bed, carrying you on her back
>Of course, the nurse tries to stop her, but she's simply too fast for her
>Yeah, she's flying
>And you're holding on for dear life
>Soon, she manages to reach… Twilight's castle?
>What?
>Wiping another tear, she pushes you off her back
>"Go inside."
>…?
>You follow the command, timidly
>You're really confused
>Opening the giant door, you see--
>"SURPRISE! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, ANONYMOUS!"
>…What?
>Yeah, and accompanying that
>Ponies
>The mane six, actually
>Minus Rainbow and plus Spike and Starlight
>Not only that
>There's... decorations
>Streamers
>Cupcakes
>Drinks
>And a huge fucking banner with the words "We love you, Anonymous" written on it
>...
>What?
>Tears start to form in your eyes, as the rainbow maned pony floats to the group
>She goes to Twilight, specificially
>Twilight, of course, takes notice, smiling at her
>Then... she looks concerned
>"Dash? What happened?"
>Pinkie speaks up next
>"Yeah, Dashie, it looks like you've been crying…"
>Followed by Applejack
>"Y'all okay, Rainbow? Ya don't look too hot."
>With another sniffle, she just points at you
>"Ask HIM that."
>All eyes go to you
>And you're frozen
>You don't know what to say
>You only look around again
>And
>…
>You start to bawl
>Fuck
>Why'd it have to be now?
>"Well?"
"I'm sorry."
>You fall to your knees, looking away from them all
"I'm so sorry."
>You don't even have the strength to tell them that you just tried to fucking kill yourself
>And that you're glad that Rainbow caught you in time
>You can barely speak now
>You feel so fucking bad
>It's like a never ending pain in your stomach
>The ponies all surround you--except for Rainbow
>They ask you all sorts of questions
>What happened?
>Are you okay?
>Do you need anything?
>This all just serves to make you cry even harder
>Finally, a sweet, innocent and young voice asks you a question
>"What happened, Anon?"
>This was Spike
>And for the love of God you don't know why but you broke after this
"I tried to kill myself," you whispered
>The room fell silent after that
>The ongoing questions stopped, as if they were a broken conveyor belt
>It was so abrupt
>And it didn't take long before someone opened their lips again
>And it was Spike, yet again
>"Y-You're kidding... Right? You didn't actually...?"
>You don't answer
>In fact, Rainbow answers this question for you
>"He did. I saw him do it."
>Everybody gasped
>And then
>The tears started to roll in
>However
>They were all silent cries
>Nobody really bawled, like you expected
>Not even Pinkie Pie
>You thought she would burst out crying
>But she just stands there, tears just falling out of her eyes
>Twilight's the first to speak up
>"Anonymous... Would you mind following me?"
>You don't answer
>She just walks away
>While you follow
>Everybody else follows too, including Rainbow Dash
>You wipe your tears away, as you wonder where she could be taking everyone
>Soon, the lot of you end up in the throne room
>Where everybody takes their respective seats
>Except for Rainbow and Spike
>...And Glimmer, but she doesn't exactly have a seat
>So, she just silently moves Spike's chair so she can sit on the floor next to Twilight
>Spike just holds onto your hand while sobbing
>While Rainbow motions you to her seat
>You sit
>Spike and Rainbow both hug you, as you sit
>And Twilight sighs
>"Why?"
>Why?
>You sigh
>And, you go on to explain what you did with Dash earlier
>Except, abridged
>Twilight winces at the word "hate"
>And at how many times you say it
>Once you finish, she starts to speak
>"I… I know it's hard to believe, Anon, but… We DO love you, we care for you, and we don't want you to die. Even the ones who're a bit more distant than others."
>Seemed like everybody was finishing up their tears at this point
>"Anonymous," Starlight spoke, causing all eyes to be on her
>You honestly didn't expect her to speak up
>You barely talk to her
>And the two of you barely know each other
>And you're pretty sure she hates you
>"I know we don't talk much, and I know we barely know each other,"
>It's like she read your fucking mind
>"But I know what you're going through--honestly. I mean, I know what it's like to miss somebody you hold so dear."
>This confuses you, more than anything
>Why is she even speaking in the first place?
>She hates you
>They all do
>This shouldn't even be happening, as far as you're concerned--
>Pinkie Pie stops her water works for a second to speak, interrupting your thoughts
>"I-," she sobs, "I know what it's like to think that everypony hates me."
>Spike speaks up too, although, softly
>"Me too…"
>"And," Rainbow lets go of you for a second, "I know what it's like to be lonely."
>Twilight just lets Rainbow speak, as your apparent "best friend" stands on the table
>"Anon, I… WE all know how it feels to be sad sometimes, or to feel like we're just all alone," she comes to a small whisper, "Even if we don't want to admit it."
>"You can come talk to any of us, darling."
>Rarity, too?
>"No kiddin'. Y'all are 'specially welcome at the farm, if ya need ta talk."
>And even Applejack--holy Christ
>Did they ever hate you at all?
>Did you read their patterns wrong?
>They never talked to you, or even acknowledged you
>That's what people did back on Earth, if they hated you
>"Y-You can always come and visit the animals, if you need a safe space for awhile."
>Fluttershy, too
>Well, you knew that she appreciated you, if at least a little
>"The castle's always free, Anonymous. That, I can promise you."
>And of course, Twilight
>Rainbow hugs you again, this time, tighter than before
>"We love you, Anon," she whispers, "I love you… I-I mean, as a friend, of course. And I promise I'll help you in any way I can, just so you don't do this again."
>You sigh
>You can't return her hug
>You'd love to, but
>You push her out of the way
"I don't believe it."
>"What?"
>Dash is in full on disbelief
"I'm sorry--I really am, but I can't believe that you guys actually care for me..."
>Fucking tears
>You hold them back as you rant
"When was the last time any of you ever came to my aid? Or talked to me? Or even just visited me to see if I was okay?"
>The room is silent
>Guilty ponies couldn't even look at you
>All except for Dash
>Even here, she was angry
>"That's because we THOUGHT you were okay... We," she sniffles, "We didn't know that you were like this! You didn't tell us!"
>She sounds heartbroken
>"She's right, sugarcube. Y'all never once came to us about anythin'. How were we supposed ta know that y'all weren't a hundred percent?"
"I never went outside like you guys did. I never fucking played, or did anything at all!"
>"Ah can think of two ponies at this very table who act exactly like you, and are still perfectly fine."
>The orange mare's eyes dart to Fluttershy, then Twilight
>"An' Ah'm sure y'all can think of 'em, too."
"What about you? What about when I DO walk around, you never say a simple "hi"?"
>You're talking to Applejack directly here, but Rarity and Starlight aren't excluded
>In your mind, anyway
>"Ah'm busy sellin' apples! Ah rarely ever say "hi" to anybody when I'm workin'!"
>"Honestly, Anonymous," Starlight speaks up, "I never  to see you, either. I... I don't really get a chance to speak with you."
>Rarity only nods
>...
>Shit
>You slump in the chair, feeling a little bit like an idiot right now
>Misread signals
>Especially since everybody else at least tried to talk to you
>You just didn't get that they actually have responsibilities, every once in awhile
>Fuck
"Sorry--"
>Applejack replies with a smile
>"Oh please. Even with all of that, we're still the ones at fault here."
>...Huh?
"You are?"
>"Why wouldn't we be? One of our friends tried to--," she looks at the sobbing dash, "Do you-know-what," back at you, "And none of us but Dash was there to help? Honestly, we've gotta lot ta learn about friendship if we've picked too many worms from the apple tree like this."
>What does that even mean?
>Rainbow, calming down again, sits next to you
>"Anonymous, again, we love you. I speak for everypony here when I say that, I know I do. I'll--WE'LL try our best to make sure this doesn't happen again, okay? I don't want to see you like that ever again."
>She motions in for another hug
>"For real this time?"
>You can't help but chuckle at her terminology
>It's like what one of your friends would say back home
"For real this time."
>The two of you share an embrace--and holy fuck it's not long before everybody ELSE is holding you just as tightly as she is
>How did they even get to you that fast?
>You sigh
>That really doesn't matter now, does it?
>All that matters now is the future
>The future, and how great your life in Equestria is gonna get
>You won't even miss Earth, you bet
>Now that you've got your friends

End