Mulch- Stealing Key Card

  Mulch frowned.

  'Convict? I have a name, you know, Julius.'

  Root squatted to the dwarf's level.

  'I don't know what dreamworld you live in, convict, but in the real world you are a criminal and it is my job to ensure your life is as unpleasant as possible. So if you're expecting civility just because I've testified against you some fifteen times, forget it!'

  Mulch rubbed his wrists where the handcuffs had left red welts.

  'Fine, Commander. No need to blow a gasket. I'm not a murderer, you know, just a petty criminal.'
...
  'Fine, whatever. Just follow me, and don't steal anything.'

  'Yessir, Commander,' said Mulch innocently.

  He didn't need to steal anything else. He'd already palmed Root's field-access card when the commander had made the mistake of leaning over.

-Artemis Fowl, Chapter 7