A Slab of Art

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The Fulcrux of Kalikai.
An obelisk of weathered sandstone rises from the centre of the oasis, its surface decorated with
flaming symbols. Fine threads of burning aether congregate high above the oasis, forming a blazing orb
that bathes the entire fulcrux in a harsh crimson light.

You have emoted: Tridemon enters the fulcrux, dragging quite a hefty slab of bronze behind him into the
oasis. He pauses for breath for a few moments, having evidently hauled the slab for a fair distance.

Painted onto a three inch thick slab of bronze in a square four feet on
each side- and that doesn't even take up the entirety of the slightly
uneven slab- this artwork is extremely unwieldy. The scene is
immediately recognizable as a wedding, though the venue is more of a
suggestion made up of soft, blurred colors in vague shapes that could be
a chapel if squinted at in the right way. The focus and almost the
entirety of the artistic effort of the painting has gone into the
subjects- a pair of hamsters, one in a white wedding dress, and the
other in a black tuxedo. In the dress is the Purple Hamster of Chaos,
looking quite pleased with herself alongside her usual expression of
background madness and a long, thin cigar held in her teeth. The dress
she's wearing has almost certainly seen better days, since the white
fabric is ripped open in places with shocks of purple fur sticking out,
and the bouquet she's holding in her left hand looks just plain odd,
with 'flowers' made up of what appear to be the severed ears of
something quite unpleasant, held together with rusty wire. The hamster
in the tuxedo is immediately recognizable as Squibbles, and he appears
to be desperately attempting to escape the Purple Hamster of Chaos's
grip on his paw. Unlike the wedding dress, the tuxedo that this hamster
is wearing is nearly immaculate, though lumpy due to the unevenness of
his mottled, scraggly fur underneath the fabric. Unlike his usual
expression of bloodlust, Squibbles appears to be at or near the point of
panic.
It has 253 months of usefulness left.
It weighs about 37 pounds.
It bears the distinctive mark of Tridemon Regalis, Keeper of Pure Waters.
This item is ephemeral and may not be prevented from decaying.
It has the following aliases: painting.

The blazing orb burns brighter as a boisterous voice resounds, 'Shard, dare I ask what that is?'

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "This.. was one... of my worse... ideas... for
materials."

You drop a painting of Immortal Hamster Wedding.

The blazing orb burns brighter as a boisterous voice resounds, 'Material for what, exactly?'

Sparks of blazing aether flare into being, whirling erratically before converging into the form of
Kalikai.

Kalikai stares implacably at a painting of Immortal Hamster Wedding.

You have emoted: Tridemon gestures vaguely toward the painting. "Probably some form of heresy... or
other..."

Kalikai utters a loud, booming laugh.

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "I do like some heresy. Let's see here."

Tears from from Kalikai's eyes as She belly-laughs to Herself, Her eyes sweeping back and forth across
the painting. "What an inspiring painting...I think." She finally forces out, knuckling the tears from
Her eyes. "What possessed you to paint such a thing?"

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "The idea for it arose out of a conversation where I
recalled the Purple Hamster of Chaos cussing out Kethuru... and a recollection of meeting Squibbles and
getting him drunk off a shotglass of bloodshot. Kind of a lightweight, frankly."

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "Though that may have something to do with how he ate the
glass itself..."

You ponder the situation.

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "Or size. Probably the size thing."

Kalikai grins broadly, a mischievous look entering Her green eyes.

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "I'm not sure where I'll put this, but it's going somewhere."

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "And the material you painted it on. What an odd choice, shard."

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "Maybe use it as a paperweight. On top of some paperwork
that you want to see punished."

Kalikai utters a loud, booming laugh.

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "That I will."

Kalikai picks up a painting of Immortal Hamster Wedding.

Kalikai ponders the situation.

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "I'm not even sure where I got the bronze from, but it
was in my atelier, and what ELSE am I going to use an uneven slab of bronze for?"

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "I'll have My Eiselle put it in the order shop."

Kalikai stares blankly at you.

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says to you, "Forging, maybe?"

A gentle sea breeze carries with it the delicate scent of salt-kissed waters and sargassum blossoms
that drift passed you, offering calm blessings of peace and serenity.

You stare blankly into space.

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "... that would have been a better use of materials,
yes..."

Kalikai utters a loud, booming laugh.

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "Mortals never cease to amaze Me. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or
a bad thing."

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye has bestowed Her divine truefavour upon you. It will last for 7 months.

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "I'm going to go ahead and blame my lapse in good sense
on remembering the visage of the Chaos Hamster."

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "Even though she had absolutely nothing to do with it."

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye looks thoughtful and says, "I don't pay enough attention to hamsters. Maybe I
should host a hamsterhunt sometime, with a Kalikai twist."

Kalikai puts Her hands on Her hips and goes "Hmmm!"

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "I'm sure that such an event would be delightful. As long
as no one takes it upon themselves to drag a large slab of unwieldy metal up the side of a mountain."

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "It's a stark difference from the first thing you dragged up the
mountain to My Fulcrux, that's for sure."

You nod your head sagely.

Kalikai thanks you profusely.

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "How fares New Celest these days? Valtreth treating you alright?"

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "Oh, certainly. I'm not exactly sure what specifically
He's up to these days, since I haven't been in His order for a few centuries, but He recently gave the
entire city His favor."

A look of understanding crossing Her features, Kalikai nods Her head slowly.

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "I'd stop in more if Bluebells were around, but She's off doing who
knows what. Probably patrolling."

Kalikai sucks thoughtfully on Her teeth.

Kalikai shudders violently.

You tilt your head curiously.

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "Much better. It's pretty bad when you have to drink one cocktail to get
the taste of another out of your mouth."

Kalikai gives a bottle to you.

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "Ah... Bluebells?"

The bottle is crafted from thick, green glass. Indeed, the opacity of the bottle is such that the
contents, if there are any, remain completely hidden.
It has 42 months of usefulness left.
It weighs 12 ounce(s).
This item is ephemeral and may not be prevented from decaying.
A peep and peppercorn cocktail sloshes about in it.
It has the following aliases: bottle.

You give a bottle the once-over, eyeing it suspiciously.

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "Oh dear. Something to pair with peep chili, one must
assume..."
taste 79069
Bright saccharine sweetness overpowers the burn of liquor, cut by a hint of acidity.
sip 79069
You take a long draught of a cocktail, hoping to quench your thirst.
Sugary and vibrant, the saccharine peep syrup dominates your taste buds,
allowing the gin to go down smoothly without any burn at the back of the
throat. Only the faintest hint of juniper from the gin manages to
withstand the onslaught of sugar. The pink peppercorns provide a small
bite and respite, a subtle tartness that helps to subdue any lingering
sweetness.

You stare blankly into space.

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "Ah yes. Just the thing to go along with a sudden loss of
sanity and good taste."

You give a bottle to Kalikai, the Crimson Eye.

A wry smile spreads across Kalikai's face.

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "Terentia."

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "Bluebells."

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "And yes, some mortal gave Me this cocktail, and I can't seem to get rid
of it."

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "Now I have someone from Glomdoring who gave me tea. TEA."

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "And not just tea, but tea made from what I assume is swampwater."

Kalikai gives a pale tea bottle adorned with roses to you.

This bottle is made of pale, lightweight marble, a pearly shade of gray.
The nearly white, natural veins shot through the marble have been taken
advantage of by the crafter; they have been packed with black roses of
varying orientations and sizes, each subtly unique and distinct. The
screw cap has been decorated with a flattened black rose, painted with a
measured hand.
It has 86 months of usefulness left.
It weighs 12 ounce(s).
It has been stamped with the seal of The Crowquill Bookbinding Cartel.
A sweet-and-sour bogwater tea sloshes about in it.
It has the following aliases: bottle.

taste 280652
An odd sourness leaks through the sweet raspberry flavor of this tea.
sip 280652
You take a drink of green tea from a pale tea bottle adorned with roses.
Your movements become fluid as you drink the green tea.
Taking a sip of this pale, washed-out tea, you are met immediately with
sweet raspberry that warms your mouth. As you swallow, you realize that
this tea's strange sourness is that of bogwater. It leaves a sharp,
sweet-and-sour tang in the back of your throat, reminiscent of berries
left to stew in stagnant waters.

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "... I feel like this was Esei, somehow."

Kalikai utters a loud, booming laugh.

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "Probably."

You give a pale tea bottle adorned with roses to Kalikai, the Crimson Eye.

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "Alright, shard. Time to find a place for this painting, unless you have
something to ask Me?"

You shake your head.

Kalikai nods Her head at you.

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye says, "Be well, then."

Backed by the sound of gentle waves, you say, "It was nice speaking with You- I had honestly expected
just to drop it off and have to provide an explanation later."

Kalikai grins broadly, a mischievous look entering Her green eyes.

Kalikai, the Crimson Eye smiles with a wink and says, "Caught you in the act."

You shift your eyes suspiciously from side to side.

Ready for a new adventure, you point boldly towards the horizon and declare in a proud tone, "Onward!"