Eyes on You

[21:47] Lea sat herself down and hung her legs off the ledge, staring listlessly at the starry sky before her. She had been bathed in the light of the pale star for quite some time, but there was something about all of the other stars out there that she couldn't help but still find something interesting in.

She wasn't exactly in good shape, though. She had small scratches on her arms, although they weren't visible at this point in time given she had her sleeves rolled up. Her wings still lacked their light, too, but small sparks of cosmic mana could occasionally be seen leaking from them; an attempt to regain their old power, but forever cursed to never bear any fruit.

She sat still for quite some time, waiting to be addressed directly before speaking. Maybe she was daydreaming?

Old habits die hard, even if one is undead.
(Lea Elisheva)
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[21:50] Back and forth. And back and forth.

The Ultovexian seemed to make constant use of their newfound freedom. In the realm free from the touch of all others, he would make frequent journies. Sometimes he moved back to the world touched by normality, othertimes he would vanish back into the Void's Net.

Safety, of his own. The ideal place for him to perform expirments without being stopped.

He didn't talk often, mainly focusing on the smaller projects he did, keeping busy with busy work until at one point he saw the sparks drifting ever upwards. Lips formed a line.

"Somethangs takin' ya attention."
(Despair)
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[21:54] Even when Sors addressed her, it still took a moment or two for Lea to actually appear as if she registered it. In her relative isolation, she had started losing herself in her own mind, reaching depths that even the whispers of the void and the rattling of chains could not reach. It was the closest thing to a paradise that she could achieve, at this time.

But it was an acceptable one, given how wild and active her imagination was.

"I still miss them."

There was no joy or enthusiasm in her voice, for obvious reasons.

"Even though they all let me down, I still miss them a lot. Is it normal to miss the people who betrayed you, Vexie? Is it normal to want to see the people who cast you aside so easily?"

There was still a lot of love in her heart, even when the nature of her being was permanently shifted towards chaos.

Some things never change.
(Lea Elisheva)
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[22:00] "Ya."

The Ultovexian would move away from the center of the Void's net, arriving next to the sitting Undead. He would take his own seat on the side of it, the rattling of his chains filling the air.

"Betrayal is assured. It'll always happen. As does missin' others. It will always occur no matta who tries wha'. Personally, I've made a habit ta handle tha' a lil."

"I collected a lil bit from mos' people I betray an' mite hav' wanted to see again. Momento's from times long gone."

"The leg o' Alastor Vishkar, someone I trusted. The arm o' Josiephine Dusk, ma first crush. The heart o' Ereka. The eye of Jessi Ann. The horn o' a Nethradin."

"Ta miss those who betray ya is ta b expected. It is natural. An' painful. But takin' a part o' them makes tha' pain a lil easier ta deal wit'."
(Despair)
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[22:07] Lea thought to herself, taking one of her gloves off to gaze at her cold, dead flesh. Her hair was a reminder of her father, and her skin was a reminder of her mother, but aside from that, she had nothing. Nothing at all.

"I don't have anything of theirs, and I'm not apt to get it."

"It's... harder than I thought to deal with. I'm starting to get lonely, and not being able to feel anything is wearing on me worse than I thought. I think I can fight just as well as before now- maybe even better- but focusing on regaining power can only get me so far."

She tried to flutter her wing, but they were still inert, discharging another noticeable spark of cosmic mana.

"I'm starting to wonder what the point of even coming back was..."

Not that she really had much of a choice in the matter, she was just trying to find something- anything- to hold on to.
(Lea Elisheva)
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[22:13] Dusk and Aurum cast their gaze ever forwards to the void lit up by endless green lights. Lips formed a line as he leaned backwards, looking to the stars ever upwards.

"An' tha' makes ya miss them so much mor'."

"It is difficult ta deal wit' loniliness. Fer a long time, after the fall o' Dusk I had ta b careful o' where I stepped. People roamed, everyone tried ta kill ma. Had ta start usin' invisiblity potions. Made some thangs mor' trivial."

"But wha's is the point o' comin' back, huh?"

"Doin' wha' one wants. I believe tha' is the purpose o' everyone's existence. Ta seek personal satisfaction an' avoid pain as much as pone wishes. But I wouldn't 'xactly call it life."

"The point o' ya comin' back is ta b mine. People turned on ya. People betrayed ya. It was so much pain. An' ain't think thangs will go back to the past. There is only forwards."
(Despair)
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[22:21] "...I kind of miss the pain. At least when I was hurting I felt like it was for a reason. At least I could tell myself there's a point behind it. At least my pain meant something. I don't mind hurting. I mind hurting for no reason."

"If nothing else, taking the hurt I did and coming out okay meant I was strong."

Strong up until the very end, at least. Lea was interweaving the physical, emotional, and metaphorical ways of defining pain in a way that was hard to keep track of. Her thoughts were scattered, yet directed. Controlled chaos, in the most literal sense.

"But now I don't feel anything even if I scratch up my arms. And if I can't hurt myself..."

"...then I'd much rather hurt something else."

With the sudden shift in tone came another discharge of mana from her wings, except this time, the color of it was a bit... off, but it vanished too quickly to tell what color it actually is.

"When can I get a chance to try that, Vexie? I don't know what'll happen to me if I can't either feel, or make someone else feel something."
(Lea Elisheva)
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[22:25] "It is a real sensation ain't it? One o' the bes' feelin's there is is when ya are close ta death. It ain't the physical pain tha's always the pain ta b avoided. Physical pain, physical sensation are both types o' satisfactions as well."

"Ain't it strange tha' the absenece o' physical pain can also bring mental pains. It's real ironic. But satisfaction needs something ta b compared ta, otherwise tha' too becomes bland."

His arms slowly rose to cross over his chest, an ever defensive look appearing to be on his face.

"But hurtin' others? Also enjoyable. A good substitute fer it's absence. We can get enjoyment from pain tha' comes ta others. But when ya get a chance ta try it? We'll hav' ta see."

"If ya die instantly after returnin' ta livin', wha' was the point o' bein' revived as an undead?"
(Despair)
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[22:37] "Then let me prove to you that I won't die."

Lea's gaze was still pointed at the stars, but he'd still feel as if he was being watched. He'd feel a very faint sense of danger in the air, but it wasn't coming from Lea herself, although if he looked at her carefully enough, her might see where it was coming from-

"Let me prove to you that I'm not weak."

-...an all-too-familiar eye was present on one of her feathers, leering at him. No, it outright replaced one of her feathers. It refused to blink, refused to look away, and refused to stop projecting a sense of danger. While Lea didn't notice the eye, she might've picked up on the sense of danger, at least subconsciously, because she started growing antsy. She fidgeted, and started rocking back and forth without even knowing it.

"Let me at least try hurting something, Vexie, so I know that some kind of feeling exists in this nightmare."

Outside of the eye, Lea herself did not appear apt to suddenly attack. No, she wanted permission. She held no desire to betray in any way, but something was building up in her. A desire, an anxiety, a craving, a lust- it was hard to tell which one it was. Maybe it was all of them.

"And let me show you that the light of that worthless angel isn't what made me strong."
(Lea Elisheva)
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[22:42] And yet, despite the danger, he didn't move, didn't shift.

Dusk and Aurum continued to keep their gaze among the stars as his arms remained affixed on his chest. Lips formed their simple line all the same.

"How would ya do tha'?" He questioned. "Without goin' out an' huntin' first, how could ya prove tha' ya would not b lost the second ya reach the outside o' the Void Net. Ya died once. An' ma undead hav' an awful record o' dyin' ov'r an' ov'r recently."

"How would ya test goin' about that while still in here? If ya can prove ta ma ya won't b weak an' lose, I mite allow ya ta go outside."

The rattling of chains continued to hold in the air around him as he did not move. While the feeling of danger was there, he seemed not to shy from it.
(Despair)
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[22:50] "Fight me. I want you to fight me."

With that, came another discharge of cosmic mana, one much less faint, making the color clear:

Green.

"Somewhere. Anywhere. Just fight me. Fight me so I can get used to my skills, then fight me again so I can prove myself."

She stood up- nay, leapt up- a sudden and jarring movement that was extremely uncharacteristic of Lea. Another eye opened on one of her feathers, and she started pacing back and forth. Once more, she didn't appear apt to attack, still wanting that permission, showing an amount of politeness and restraint that was rather impressive for someone who was seemingly in the midst of a mental breakdown.

"I want to impress you. I want to make you proud. I want to show you that I'm not the worthless creature that died on that horrible, wretched day. Give me the chance to prove it, even if you have to be the one to prove it against."

The eyes on her wings refused to break eye contact with Sors, even when Lea herself refused to make it.
(Lea Elisheva)
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[22:55] The Ultovexian initially didn't move.

"Comparin' yaself ta ma ain't a whole lot, ya know. I'm a guy who's only gettin' older an' weaker as time wears on. I'm not at the strength tha' I once was."

"Only enjoy ta still deal wit' anything tha'd try ta get in ma way." There was a faint yawn that would escape him before a rift would open behind him and he would move through. Elsewhere in the Void's net he would appear, turning to look towards the Elisheva in silence.

"Here then. If ya can defeat ma, I mite allow ya ta go out. If ya can't do tha', ya lack the strength needed fer it."

"Ya want ya chance. Then this will b it."

Occultism began to bubble up around the Necromancer as the staff was drawn from his back.
(Despair)
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[23:00] * You have been awarded 1 Roleplay Points! *
[23:01] Even in her current state, as a zombie mired in chaos, Lea still projected a radiant light as her aura of choice, combined with water.

"Then... don't mind if I do."

There was not a lot of room here, but the Elisheva nevertheless did what it took to calm herself and prepare to fight. And yet, at this point in time, calm was all but impossible for her. The Void was beginning to seep into her, drawn from a combination of the plague Sors infected her with, and the fact that her life was a cataclysmic train wreck and stood to continue being as such.

It was entertaining to watch, and picked up the attention of many-

Including things that she was much better off not being noticed by.
(Lea Elisheva)
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[23:04] You learned the spell Nova Ray.
[23:14] The Ultovexian would stand, taking to the air above the Demi-angel. Dusk and Aurum would stare her down as occultism empowered his movements, bitterness, hatred, and controlling nature taking over the world around him. It wouldn't be easy finding spots to connect with for him, avoiding many of Lea's blows by staying afar, and many that did manage to connect would instead be taken by skeletons, or found themselves flying into rifts he opened.

"Ain't quite there yet."

"Does it appear like this is the amount needed ta prove thangs ta ma?"
(Despair)
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[23:21] Lea was outmatched just as much as before. She muddled his senses and flung cosmic mana with more proficiency than ever, but eventually, her undead body just stopped moving. It stopped listening to her commands. She buckled, falling down to her knees, and were she capable of producing bodily fluids, she'd certainly begin to produce sweat. And yet-

"...No... not yet."

She needed to keep going. She needed to keep trying. She stood back up, utilizing her magic to heal herself the best she could, and prepared to fight once more. She levitated off the ground despite her inert wings, although this utilization of gravity magic was more of a desperate attempt to recapture old glory than it ever was an honest interest in the art.

"I still have to try."

Lea would soldier on, she'd keep fighting. She'd fight over and over again until Sorseither commanded her to stop, she won, or she got bored. Win or lose, she needed to practice. She needed to learn.

"And I still have to adapt."

She needed something to hold on to, even when everything else had left her, short of the man standing before her right now.
(Lea Elisheva)
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[23:28] "Adapt?"

He questioned, watching the undead rise as the rattling chains would fling her downwards. Dusk and Aurum narrowed as cosmic magic moved with increased proficiency. But even as he moved forwards and came so far, his own occultism would grow, bolstering him further and further past the power he had previously been displaying.

"Ya can try. But it ain't a question o' adaptation. It is a question o' strategy. I will admit, ya style is mor' difficult now. Those illusions take a minute ta rend maself from. But I can adapt ta it faster then ya can adapt ta ma own."

"Ma power is a horde, an army o' thangs workin' ta overcome ya. It is almost impossible fer ya ta catch up while ma abiltiies an' ma control press back against ya."

The staff was again drawn, pointed towards the Elisheva.
(Despair)
[00:41] Lea just couldn't get a leg up on him.

If she fought perfectly, she could do reasonably well, but the gap in experience and strength between the two of them was absolutely enormous. Sors could use cosmic magic better than her. He could bend time and space like she used to be able to, except better. He could severely limit her ability to heal. Lea had to do everything right, and even if she did...

Even if she did everything right...

One small mistake was all it took.

It was the story of her life.

She did everything right. She fought through pain of her own. She questioned herself and her ideals at every turn and came out stronger for it. And yet, at the end of it all, right when it mattered most-

She was slammed into the floor by Sors' arcane chains, putting her down for the last time.

She was let down by everyone she knew, and killed by the person she loved most.

"DAMN IT!"

A fist slammed against the ground. She grasped grass in her hand. And she kept punching it. And punching it. No matter how futile it was, she just kept hitting it. And with every punch, a new eye opened on her wing, and more green sparks discharged.

"Why does everything go to shit when it matters most?! Why is all the small and miniscule bullshit the only time where things work out?!"

"I hate this. I hate all of this. I hate the people who let me down. I hate the people who betrayed me. I hate being weaker than I should be. I hate letting people down. I hate ALL OF THEM."

Were Lea capable of producing tears, she would be crying right now. But instead, all she could do was express anger.

"Is this why you want yoursoul to be destroyed, Vexie? Is this what being sick of fucking everything does to someone?! Is this what seeing everyone as an enemy makes you feel?! Because it makes sense. It made sense back then. It made more sense later. AND IT KEEPS. MAKING. MORE. SENSE."

She wanted to lash out. She wanted to attack someone. She wanted to feel pain, or inflict pain on someone. But she couldn't.

"...everyone is an enemy. Everyone wants me dead except you. I couldn't find solace in death. I couldn't find peace in death. I couldn't move on. I can't feel safe anywhere except in a place I'm trapped. And I'm not even allowed to die, because then I'd be betraying the one person I have left."

But then, just like that, she suddenly calmed herself, the eyeson her wings fading, the wilted, dying feathers returning.

"I don't know why people are like this. I don't know why the world is like this. And I don't know why something that made sense before has to keep making more sense with every passing day."

"...but I guess I know why you are the way you are, now. So that's something, right?"

Ya can never come ta truly know anotha person.

"...thank you, life, for giving me the consolation prize that is understanding."

A bit of dry humor to top off what was otherwise a passionate, emotional rant.
(Lea Elisheva)
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[00:52] It wasn't that she was weak. She wasn't. It wasn't that he made no mistakes. He did. But his own strength seemed to grow and grow endlessly, even if the chains of age weakened his body ever so slightly, his abilities and focus remained powerful and remained ever stronger then what others had become capable of.

Experince and strength just gave him those pushes he needed in the end, letting the arcane chains slam the undead down from the air and force her back to the solid ground. Just like the world had clipped his wings many times before, he clipped the world, watching the grass be smashed underneath the hand of Lea.

"The world ain't kind. It's cruel. Cruel as ma an' only feedin' everyone mor' an' mor' pain. Satisfaction is fleetin'. Tha's why people try so hard ta b happy. They try so hard but in 'em ends, it neva amounts ta nothin'."

"It's betta ta hate it. Hate the futility o' this world. Not ta even attempt ta understand others an' instead satisfy only the self. Hate bein' weaker, I encourage it. An' hate this world wit' all there is."

"It is very much the reason I want ma soul ta b destroyed. So I ain't hav' ta feel tha' all encompassin' pain. Everyone is an enemy, a soul ta b harvested ta reach one's own satisfaction. Ain't nothin' wrong wit' tha'. An' correct."

"Even ya loved ones would hav' ya put to death now, if they had the chance. They all want ya ta die. There ain't no peace."

"Ma understandin' makes sense cause it's true. Cause 'em whispers often speak truth even if mos' say it's insanity. There is no solace in death. An' solace in life is only fadin'."

"It's easy ta understand after ya've been through it. Ya welcome fer the gift."

He cackled, as if taking on the name life for himself as a rift would open, displacing both once more upon the main stage of the Voidscape.
(Despair)
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[01:00] Lea wanted to be free, but that freedom meant death. Lea wanted to die, but that death meant betrayal. So she went, willingly, dropping down to her knees from a combination of both exhaustion and futility-induced despair. And yet, despite all of that...

"I'm gonna get my happy ending, Vexie. One of these days."

...there was still the faintest glimmer of resolve in her eyes.

"And I'll see to it that you get yours, too."

She stood back up and dusted herself off, leaving Sors with one final line before letting him go.

"I'm not going to let the epilogue of my story go to waste."
(Lea Elisheva)
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