College

>live at home
>no job
>no friends
>no life
>gotta go to college
>tell mom I need to register for classes
>she says do it yourself
>explains to me that I'm an adult and I need to learn to do things myself
>I'm not listening
>play DS while she's talking
>the bitch doesn't know what she's talking about
>tell her I'm a certified retard
>remind her she gets retard money every month for taking care of me
>remind her I take retard pills
>she agrees to take me and help me register for classes
>I play DS on the car ride over
>start to get overwhelmed
>frustrated that I can't process what's going on
>start to cry out of frustration because I'm having a retard attack
>beg mom to take me back home
>she won't take me home
>start hitting myself
>mom has to call Jeff to come restrain me while I have my special melt down
>Jeff restrains me in the parking lot
>wipes the drool off me
>Jeff thinks he's my dad
>mom doesn't know Jeff hits me when no ones looking and calls me stupid
>tells me it's my fault for being retarded
>tells me he knows it's all an act and that I'm just lazy
>what do you know Jeff?
>play DS in the car while mom waits for me to get out
>Jeff tells me to get out and stop playing games
>"no" I respond 5 minutes later
>mom waits in the sun for 20 minutes while I play DS
>finally decide I'm ready
>hold moms hand and slowly get out of car
>kids are looking at me
>fuckin tryhards
>she takes me to the place
>"ok, so what classes are you trying to register for?"
>"college" I explain to her
>she gets mad at me but i don't know why
>wasn't paying attention
>"I don't know you pick" I say
>it's too confusing I tell her to just do all of it for me
>I'm pretty exhausted at this point
>sit on the ground to get my way
>people are looking at me
>play DS on the floor
>mom finally caves and does my bidding
>reach into her purse and grab my snack
>lay down on the floor and play DS and eat my snack
>30 minutes later it's time to leave
>not ready to leave yet
>play DS for 10 minutes while mom waits before getting up
>while walking through campus I decide it's time for fun
>grab her purse and run off
>play keep away with the purse
>I'm so clever haha stupid bitch can't catch me
>everyone's looking
>I'm having a blast with my little game
>she corners me and I knock her out of my way with my massive size
>she cries while she's on the ground
>someone helps her up
>dump her whole purse out
>Hahahaha dumb bitch
>she walks up to me and smacks me on the head
>scream at the top of my lungs
>go stiff as a board and drop to the ground
>everyone backs away from me
>shit myself
>I begin to cause an uproar
>police have a long talk with mom while I eat my second snack
>she can't hit me because I'm a retard
>I win
>play DS on ride home
>excited for my future
>college boy now
>run back to my cave
>stand in the window and jack off while looking at peool
>blow my load all over the carpet
>lay in bed and make noise and play with my feet
>star yelling really lowed to wake up mom
>Hahahaha dumb whore isn't allowed to go to sleep until I do
>go to sleep in my shit caked trousers
>overall pretty good day
>I'm proud of myself for taking the steps forward to better my life
>Mfw