:) for you my pal

"Yup, that's right, today is the day." Biktairov said to himself as he took a huge sip from the empty pringles can he repurposed as a tea cup. "The sun is shining and the appointment is set, today I'm finally getting my circumcision."

Biktairov threw his cup across the room and it landed on his brand new Nintendo Switch spilling water all over it.
The clock struck 8 sharp and it was time to leave. He walked out the door while suppressing the inner pain he felt over the potential loss of his beloved Nintendo Switch.

Incoherent yelling in a foreign language could be heard from the driveway, the uber he preordered the day before had arrived.
Biktairov jumped into the passenger seat and smiled at his driver. "Hey there big guy, guess what day today is." The driver looked at him with dead eyes and yelled "Where going drive!" Biktairov's smile evolved to a grin. "Haha yes indeed, today I am getting circumsiced."
The driver kept yelling at Biktairov for what felt like a lunchbreak and a half but Biktairov was too lost in thought to respond.

A smack on the top of his head snapped him out the comatose like state. "Get out!" The driver yelled.
"Why thank you uberman it seems our ways must part here then yes." Biktairov hopped out of the car and tried to get a sense of his current surroundings. It appeared he had not moved from his driveway at all. "Oh no, oh my, why am I still at home? Good golly this is the worst uber ride I have ever had the displeasure of being a participant of."

He pulled up his smartphone and gave the driver a solid one star rating. He felt quite good about it, until he remembered what he was supposed to be doing. His appointment was rapidly closing in and he was nowhere near the skin clinic where the procedure would be performed. Looking at the clock on his smartphone the realization truly set in that he could not possibly get there in time.
On a scale from one to ten the pain he felt inside was at a clear 11. Yet he smiled. "Today is the day." He muttered to himself as he calmly walked back inside his house.

He walked past the waterlogged Nintendo Switch and back into the kitchen. He opened the cabinet next to his fridge and fumbled around a bit before finally locating his target. An authentic japanese hand forged sashimi knife he bought at a local flea market barely a week ago. He unzipped his trousers and yanked out his willy.
"Chop chop my little fellow it's time to give you a fresh haircut" He said jokingly to his little friend.
He rolled his foreskin forward as far as it would go and pulled on it so hard it nearly ripped the skin, placing it onto the kitchen table. A drop of sweat rolled down his forehead as he moved the sashimi knife closer and closer, but he was not scared at all. Quite the opposite. The knife dug into the skin, he gently rocked it in a circular motion, slowly working his way through the bundle of foreskin. A soft thock could be heard when the knife hit the table. It was finally done.

"It would seem I carried out the mission on my own. The circumcision mission."