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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-19 09:03 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
uh, is uh...that directed towards me
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[info]fogo
2017-07-19 09:14 pm (local) (link) Track This
No, darling, it's not.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-19 09:16 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
okay
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[info]fogo
2017-07-19 09:22 pm (local) (link) Track This
Alright. I hope that you've had a decent day.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-19 09:26 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
did i offend you?
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[info]fogo
2017-07-19 09:28 pm (local) (link) Track This
I don't know how you would have. It takes quite a lot to offend me.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-19 09:29 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
you're just...okay. nevermind. sorry.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-19 09:32 pm (local) (link) Track This
I'm just what, Thad? Go on.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-19 09:34 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
nah, nevermind.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-19 10:03 pm (local) (link) Track This
Alright then.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-19 10:05 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
sorry. i'll go. have a nice night.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-19 10:06 pm (local) (link) Track This
I didn't tell you to go and you can quit saying you're sorry. I simply wish if you had something to say, you would say it and not just do that thing you do and cast it aside.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-19 10:06 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
i just don't like bothering people.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-19 10:08 pm (local) (link) Track This
You aren't bothering me, or I'd tell you so. When have I ever been anything less than a 100% with you?
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-19 10:10 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
i know, it's why i back away.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-19 10:11 pm (local) (link) Track This
You back away...because I'm always honest with you?
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-19 10:11 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
sometimes it's overwhelming.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-19 10:12 pm (local) (link) Track This
Ah. I see. Well I can't lie. There's never been much of a point to me to do so.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-19 10:24 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
Why not?
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[info]fogo
2017-07-19 10:29 pm (local) (link) Track This
Modeling was enough of a false front to me. Watching my parents lie to one another and break themselves apart turned my stomach at a young age. I simply vowed to never be that way. If I can't tell the truth, I won't say anything at all.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-19 10:36 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
That's....understandable. I bet you must hate knowing that I'm not like that
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[info]fogo
2017-07-19 10:39 pm (local) (link) Track This
I don't hate it, because that would mean hating a part of you. I care for you as you are. It's simply a difference between us on the long list of them, I'm sure.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-19 10:39 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
So...what do you really think of me?
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[info]fogo
2017-07-19 10:44 pm (local) (link) Track This
And you want the full and honest answer, do you?
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-19 10:45 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
Sure
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[info]fogo
2017-07-19 10:49 pm (local) (link) Track This
I think you're brilliant but you sometimes would much rather spend your time locked into a fantasy world than the real one. You've got a good heart for those closest to you, but you fumble with your own feelings about yourself and how you see yourself. I also think that in my most temperamental moments, you and Tess have been the only two people really capable of keeping me grounded and not going off like a bomb. Maybe I never said how much I appreciated that over the years, but I have. I'm not sure how it is, or what exactly it is about you that does it, but I haven't questioned it much. And I think for all the things that build, explore and make up with that brain of yours, nothing is as thick and protected as the walls you've placed around yourself. Any that I ever seemed to jostle, just shifted and became more impenetrable. You're in a fortress of your own neuroses and I'd honestly bow down to the one that ever toppled it all down like dominoes and buy them a fucking island.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 07:30 am (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
Wow. Tell me how you really feel.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 08:34 am (local) (link) Track This
Well, you asked, Thad.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 08:51 am (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
yeah. kinda regret doing that.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 08:58 am (local) (link) Track This
Why? I don't think it was anything terrible or that you didn't already know. Hm. I suppose it is different when it's said out loud, in a way.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 08:59 am (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
i mean...you kind of just told me that you think that i'm stuck in my head, and that i'm nothing more than my insecurities. i'm sorry that i'm not an overly confident blunt person like you are, but some people actually think i'm endearing.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 09:24 am (local) (link) Track This
You can be stuck in your head. And I most certainly did not say you aren't anything more than your insecurities. You bypassed the good I said and twisted the other bits to get THAT out of it. I wouldn't have spent a year of my life with someone I didn't think was worth that and I certainly wouldn't be here now as your friend if I ever thought something like that, so don't turn my words around, Thad, simply because you found out you didn't want to hear what I had to say. I hold you in high esteem and if you don't realize that by now, then I don't know entirely what to say to that.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 09:25 am (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
and then you get...upset when i see things slightly differently. can i ask you something? why did you ever date me in the first place?
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 09:27 am (local) (link) Track This
Of course I got upset, because that isn't what I said. I wouldn't be cruel to you. I don't think I ever have been. Why? Because I was attracted to you. Because you made me think and laugh and for a time you made me quite happy.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 09:38 am (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
haha, and now?
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 10:24 am (local) (link) Track This
And now we're friends. And I care about you as I always have, no matter how different we are. Attraction doesn't leave, it was simply molded into something platonic because we couldn't handle a relationship together.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 10:35 am (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
we couldn't handle it, or me? because you seem pretty okay with handling things. so much as offering me a 'ride' so to speak, i'm still not sure how to navigate around that
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 10:41 am (local) (link) Track This
Mm well. A person can't make someone want to be with them so I'd say it was both of us. I don't place any blame solely on your shoulders. I was feeling frisky and I apologize if it made you uncomfortable. It won't happen again.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 10:42 am (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
it's not that it made me uncomfortable, i'm not like a prude guy. it just threw me. i didn't know you still thought of me like that.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 10:45 am (local) (link) Track This
As I said, Thad. Attraction doesn't normally dissipate for me, in our case it simply became a friendship rather than getting to tell you to just come to bed already.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 10:48 am (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
i erm. well. yes.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 12:48 pm (local) (link) Track This
What? Did I say something wrong?
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 12:49 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
no, i just don't know what to say to that.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 12:51 pm (local) (link) Track This
It's just the truth, isn't it? We didn't part because of a lack of caring or at least that wasn't ever why for myself. I didn't mean to make this into an uncomfortable conversation.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 01:19 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
no, you're right, i just can't help but feel as though i was a disappointment for you. i try to be adventurous and i can't.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 03:03 pm (local) (link) Track This
Darling, we were and are complete opposites. The fact that we worked at all, for that long, was only ever a good thing to me. You kept me grounded even if I couldn't in turn make you fly a little. That's nothing against you. I loved you as you were and I care about you now as you are. If anyone comes into your life worth pursuing, then they should be able to take every bit of you, not just pick and choose or try to change you.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 03:09 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
oh people always try to change aspects of myself. it's a constant. that will never stop happening, but that's okay. really, it's okay!
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 06:44 pm (local) (link) Track This
Alright then. If you're fine with it, then I won't say anything more about it.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 06:56 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
i didn't say i was fine with it
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 07:01 pm (local) (link) Track This
You said that it was okay, did you not? Either people like you for who you are or they don't. So many try too hard to pick apart others to make them manageable or more like themselves and that just simply doesn't work. It's actually pretty ridiculous because if we were all the same the world would be so incredibly boring.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 09:31 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
Well...yeah....but most people are boring as is
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 09:45 pm (local) (link) Track This
PFFT. Who are you hanging around with, hm? Tess and I aren't boring, we're going to St. Lucia.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 09:48 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
Oh neat have fun
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 10:06 pm (local) (link) Track This
We shall. Be prepared for ridiculous photos saying "Wish you were here!"
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 10:18 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
See, that's kinda shitty, isn't it, when people d that? You don't really wish they were there, if you did you'd invite them
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 10:22 pm (local) (link) Track This
I would wish you were there, but if you wouldn't even go for a ride with me in the city, why would I think you'd come off to an island with us?
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 10:23 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
...it was a hypothetical...I'll see myself out.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 10:25 pm (local) (link) Track This
Alright, Thad. Goodnight then.
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 10:25 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
Yeah. Whatever.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 10:26 pm (local) (link) Track This
What is your PROBLEM?
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 10:26 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
...? The hell?
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 10:32 pm (local) (link) Track This
"Yeah. Whatever." Honestly? You say you're seeing yourself out, I say goodnight and that's what I get? What is going on with you?
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[info]gadgetry
2017-07-20 10:33 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
Yeah you're right, shouldn't have said anything.
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[info]fogo
2017-07-20 10:41 pm (local) (link) Track This
That is not--nevermind. I have bags to pack. I'll let it be.
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