mrkillwolf666

4chan Hazbin Hotel story - the ranger

Oct 30th, 2020 (edited)
140
0
Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
text 4.41 KB | None | 0 0
  1. from /hhg/ Hazbin Hotel general #437
  2. ----
  3. >Whats your idea?
  4.  
  5. The ranger from quake champions, which I don't know a lot of quake lore. but I think it had to with something lovecraftian & him trying to get back him.
  6.  
  7. so because of that, I am thinking that he is in hell. have to deal with the von eldritch family bullshit and think this is his life now... until he saw a tv commercial of the I.M.Ps talking about how they can open a portal to earth & kill people for you.
  8.  
  9. when the ranger saw this, he realize this is his chance to go home.
  10.  
  11. Now imagine being a demon, drinking coffee or something... and you just see this dude bunny hopping at breakneck speed going to imp HQ.
  12.  
  13. that will be something to see
  14. -
  15. Oof
  16. >tfw it turns out it's not actually his earth so he still hasn't made it home
  17. -
  18. yeah, that got to hurt.
  19. -
  20. >tfw it turns out hell's actually more prefferable
  21. >Sure, it's full of demons, acts of violence are commonplace, tyrannical overlords claim large swathes of hell as their territory, and there's the yearly purge event, but honestly most down there are a lot more tolerable than all the idiots on earth
  22. >Pretty relatable in some cases too
  23. -
  24. now I am imagining the ranger getting pissed off of how stupid these people are.
  25.  
  26. the only good thing he on earth is the ice cream that he can get or something...
  27. -
  28. >The ranger makes a deal with Blitzo/Stolas and begins an ice cream smuggling operation
  29. -
  30. >The ranger find out there other demons doing the same thing like him and they try to kill him because they don't want to go out of business.
  31. >"for ice cream."
  32. ------
  33. Quick rundown for idea context.
  34. He was sent in to deal with Operation Quake and had to travel to alternate dimensions using Slipgates (Slipgates were made by humans but they got hijacked by Shub-Niggurath).
  35. After defeating Shub-Niggurath he got captured and held in the Eternal Arena for 20 years (where he nearly went insane to the point the he can't even remember his true name) with the only thing holding him together being a photo of his wife and daughter.
  36.  
  37. Here's where my fan-lore held together by ductape, cum, and wishes starts.
  38. Also for the sake of context.
  39. >John and the Ranger eventually escape the Arena and John yoinks an artifact.
  40. >John takes a small box that looks kinda like the Lament Configuration that basically allows him to travel to alternate versions of Hell.
  41. >Ranger opens a portal back to Earth but whoops it broke so now he's in Hazbin Hell and ends up moving in with the Von Elderitch family.
  42. >John shoots through different versions of Hell for a while before also landing in Hazbin Hell he wanders around for a while before finding the Happy Hotel.
  43. >John decides to stay at the Hotel because the ground is a cold cold pillow (Q3 cut Doomguy lines reference).
  44. >Eventually they meet back up in town by coincidence (as seen in the one greentext.)
  45. So the story can go of one of two ways.
  46. It can either
  47. A.) End with the Ranger finally making back to his wife and kid who waited for him like the ending of Kong Skull Island. (Actually a really good movie.) Or maybe some time space fuckery happened and he managed to find them just shortly after he went missing so he can still watch his kid grow up.
  48. Or
  49. B.) He makes it back to Earth but his wife pulled a Cast Away on him and remarried. Or maybe time space fuckery happened and both his wife and daughter are dead.
  50. Or "tfw it turns out it's not actually his earth so he still hasn't made it home" idea.
  51. And then he goes back to Hazbin Hell and status quo stays the same so we can get some John and Ranger shenanigans but its not as fun because the Ranger is completely broken now.
  52. -
  53. Then again I could always write it so Ranger gets his family back and comes to Hazbin Hell as his dayjob. Which is like the other Anon's said, is smuggling Ice-cream into Hell. And then just fucking around with John sometimes.
  54.  
  55. Also I forgot to mention and also didn't have room for it. John sometimes leaves for a day or multiple days at a time to go on missions to beat the shit out of the other evil versions of Hell so he's not just sitting around the Hotel all the time. Maybe Ranger comes along too occasionally just to make things faster.
  56. ----
  57. >The icecream felt cold against their skin, but they knew it was getting warmer by the minute
  58. >Ranger B-Hopped and John Strafe-Ran as fast as they could
  59. >"WE GOTTA HURRY JOHN! THE ICECREAMS MELTING!
  60. >"OH FUCK! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
  61.  
  62. (I shouldn't find this as funny as I do)
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment