Little Evil (2017)

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<font color="#ffff80"><b>Fixed & Synced by bozxphd. Enjoy The Flick</b>.</font>

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Gary?

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Lucas?

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Lucas?

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What are you doing out here?
Where is your stepfather?

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That's it!

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Time out, young man! Time out!

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Gary! Jesus Christ.

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Oh, my God, Gary! Are you okay?
Say something. Please, say something.

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I... want... a divorce!

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<i>♪ Just say the word ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Oh, babe ♪</i>

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Dude, I can't believe
you're moving in with her.

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I know, man.

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But I'm all crazy up in her shit.

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There ain't nothin' I can do.

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Shit, man.

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That's for real.

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<i>♪ You better believe ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Believe ♪</i>

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<i>♪ What I say is to say the words ♪</i>

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<i>♪ I can't go on this way ♪</i>

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<i>♪ I've got to have your good lovin' ♪</i>

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<i>♪ I've got to have your good lovin' ♪</i>

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You're moving in with her?

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Yes, I am.

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In fact, I am all crazy up in her shit.

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Damn, homeboy, lock it down.

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- Gary!
- Hey.

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Hi.

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Baby, but you're here. You're late.

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I got worried that you got killed somehow.

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Nope, I'm still alive.

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Yo, yo, bad boy!

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- Where you want this?
- What's up, Dwayne?

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- You guys can put that in the garage.
- Got it.

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Thanks. Thanks, guys.

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- Made some friends, huh?
- Yeah, those guys are great.

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Hey, where's Lucas?

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I got him a little somethin',
wanna grease the wheels a bit.

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You don't have to grease his wheels.
He is gonna love you for you.

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Yeah, yeah, no, I know that.

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- So... where is he?
- He's over on the swing.

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Aw, there's my little buddy.

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Y-You don't think the wedding
was too traumatic for him, do you?

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Well, it was awful.

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The famous Jubilee Downhill Derby's
coming up

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and I thought Lucas and I
could make our own cart.

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What?

50
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Gary, this is amazing!

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Yeah, I always wished my dad was around
to do this race with me.

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Just a father and son shooting down
the mountain as fast as we can,

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no engine, no brakes.

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You two are gonna have so much fun.

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Isn't that right, Lucas?

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- Come here. Come see what Gary got you.
- Hey, buddy. Here. Check this out.

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We can paint something really cool
on the side, like a flame.

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Whoa, look at that.
You found some earthworms.

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That's cool.

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You know what those are good for
is fishing.

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We can, uh...

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Don't get discouraged.

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It's just gonna take him
a little more time, that's all.

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You know, Lucas is very... particular.

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- No, I know he is. I love that about him.
- Yeah.

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You know, I'm sorry
I didn't let you get to know him more.

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I just... I really wanted to be sure.

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Well, you can be sure now.

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- Gosh.
- What? What?

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I just...

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This is what I always wanted, you know?

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A family. A real family.

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Me too.

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I swear,
I feel like the luckiest man alive.

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Shh.

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Don't say that. All right? It's not luck.

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You're the one.

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Come here.

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<i>The ice caps are melting.
The seas are rising.</i>

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<i>This past year,
there's been a spike in global temperature</i>

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<i>that even scientists cannot explain.</i>

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<i>Some people believe
the prophecy of the end</i>

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<i>is becoming all too real,</i>

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<i>and the end times could be near.</i>

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Hope you like chocolate chip pancakes
with smiley faces.

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<i>Tell us how the end will come.
Reverend Gospel, thanks for coming.</i>

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<i>Thank you for having me.</i>

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Hey, Gary,
um, I'm meeting with a C-L-O-W-N today,

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and I was hoping that maybe
you could take Lucas to school.

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You're meeting with a clown?

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Gary, I don't want him to know.

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Oh, for Lucas' birthday?

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- Sorry. Got it.
<i>- Tell us about your prediction.</i>

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<i>Sure, Russ.</i>

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<i>We've made some calculations</i>

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<i>and we are now quite certain
that the end will come</i>

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<i>at six p.m. on the sixth of June.</i>

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- What are you watching?
- Uh, that's the morning news.

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Ratings must really be in the, uh,
S-H-I-T-T-E-R.

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The shitter. Sorry.

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<i>The beginning of the end.</i>

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Hey, you don't have to call me Dad
if you don't want to, you know.

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You can call me, uh... Gary.

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Awesome Gary.

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Super-Gar. Whatever. No presh.

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Oh, and if you want
to sign up for baseball,

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like, I'd totally be your coach,
or whatever.

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If you're... I mean, I was a pretty serious
baseball player when I was a kid.

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So, if you just want
to toss the old ball around,

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anytime, I'm... I'm in.

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- This is Gary.
<i>- Hi, Gary.</i>

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<i>This is your wedding videographer Karl.</i>

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Karl. Hi. Yes.
I've been meaning to call you.

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<i>No, I figured you guys
needed some time after everything.</i>

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Listen, Samantha and I really appreciate
you doing everything you did

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under the conditions and all, but, uh...

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I think we're gonna have to pass
on the video.

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<i>I really think that you need
to see something.</i>

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We both decided it's better to move on.
So, if you could destroy the tapes...

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<i>Mr. Bloom,
there's something very unusual...</i>

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We know it's unusual, Karl,

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but we're gonna keep our eyes
on the road ahead,

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not dwell on the past, all right?

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<i>- I think you need to... Mr. Bloom...</i>
- Thanks for the call.

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All right.

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Here we are.

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You want me to walk you in?

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Good talking to you, buddy!

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Shit, man. Hey, bro.

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- Hey, Al.
- What's up?

131
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I heard about the wedding, man.
That sucks.

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It sounds horrible.
I'm so glad I didn't come.

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Hey, thanks for your gift, though.

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We were really hoping for
a ceramic Woody Woodpecker statuette.

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- You like that thing?
- Oh, yeah.

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Oh, that means a lot.

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It's got some serious
sentimental value, bro.

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You know, I smuggled a half kilo
of Oaxacan sensimilla in that thing.

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Wow. That's, uh... ambitious.

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I smoked it all in, like, three weeks,
too, man.

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I hear you joined the ranks.

142
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The, um... I'm sorry?

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Yeah, you're a stepdad now, man.
Sucks, bro. Welcome to the club.

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Oh, you're a step...

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- Dad.
- Dad?

146
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- Yeah, man.
- Right.

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I'm in therapy, too. Big time.

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You could come if you want.
It's a group thing.

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- It's chill.
- Come with you to...

150
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- your therapy?
- Therapy. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

151
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No, I really don't want to.

152
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Okay, man. Suit yourself.
Whatever feels good.

153
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What you workin' on?

154
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- Oh, nothin'.
- Oh, you got a mark?

155
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Well, it's not a mark exactly.
It's a client.

156
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Somebody wants to buy
that freaky old nunnery, man?

157
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No way!

158
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You think they're gonna make it
into a sex dungeon or something?

159
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- A sex dungeon?
- Mm-hmm.

160
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- This is Gary.
- Give it to me, you dirty little nun.

161
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- Wow, that was fast.
- Give it to me, you dirty little nun.

162
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- Yeah, it's still available. Today?
- What's up, man?

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- Pay that rent!
- That's great.

164
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- I will see you there. Thanks.
- Pay that rent! Pay it!

165
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Sorry I'm late.

166
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I'm Gary Bloom.

167
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You are forgiven. I'm Reverend JD Gospel.

168
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Yeah, from, uh, from TV.
I just saw you this morning.

169
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Oh, yes.
The press does love their doom and gloom.

170
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Good point.
Shall we have a look inside?

171
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Please.

172
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One sec here.

173
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There's plenty of room.
Do you have a large family, Mr. Gospel?

174
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Yes. Yes, I do.

175
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Well, uh, they kick off their shoes here,

176
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and I'm sure they'll enjoy
the fifteen extra rooms.

177
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:08,565
There's a chapel.

178
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There's a basement that can be turned
into a game room or a man-cave.

179
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I just love the smell
of an old-fashioned nunnery. Don't you?

180
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,120
Yeah.

181
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May I see the chapel?

182
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Sure. Yeah. Right this way.

183
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Yeah, I mean, as you can see,
it's a bit of a fixer-upper,

184
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,712
but you know, with the right touch...

185
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Oh...

186
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:41,974
Oh...

187
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What is your best offer?

188
00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:47,730
The best offer?

189
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Mm-hmm.

190
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Just, you know...

191
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,027
There's another couple
who's very interested.

192
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,904
You're kidding me? Who?

193
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,574
This very wealthy couple.
Just, like, dot-com money.

194
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Always wanted to retire in a nunnery.
Same old story.

195
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,720
- I shouldn't even be showing it to you.
- I'll beat their price.

196
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,415
Whatever they're offering,
I'll offer more.

197
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,498
Really?

198
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:09,127
The end is coming, Gary.

199
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:13,089
Blood will rain,
and crows will darken the sky,

200
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:15,049
the oceans will boil over.

201
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,720
Money truly is no object.

202
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:21,347
Well, that's fantastic.

203
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:25,143
I mean, not the blood boiling
and the sky and stuff,

204
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:27,145
but that you want to buy it.

205
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:30,148
That's... I'm sorry. Uh, just one second.

206
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,690
Hey, hon.

207
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:33,860
What kind of trouble?

208
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:36,988
Oh, poor little buddy.

209
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:39,490
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I can make it down there right now.

210
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,702
Okay. Yeah, yeah. Love you, too.

211
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:45,747
Sorry. My stepson got into
a little trouble at school,

212
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,582
probably just throwing spitballs.

213
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:50,710
Ah, the Lord will never give you
more than you can handle.

214
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:52,545
- Got it.
- So, it's a deal then?

215
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:55,965
Yeah, absolutely. We have a deal.

216
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:10,104
Hi. Um...

217
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,398
I'm here to pick up my stepson.

218
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:25,078
Lucas? Are you okay?

219
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:26,536
What happened?

220
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:30,833
You're Lucas' father?

221
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,378
Yeah. Or, I mean, I'm his stepfather.

222
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:34,963
Please come in.

223
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:37,751
It's okay, buddy.

224
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:43,012
- Have a seat, Mr...
- Uh, you can call me Gary.

225
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,932
Uh, Mr. Gary, I'm Principal Chandler,

226
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:49,477
and this is school psychiatrist,
Dr. Farrow.

227
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:51,771
Okay.

228
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:53,064
Mm-hmm.

229
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:57,193
How long have you been
the child's stepfather?

230
00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,655
Well, his mother and I
just recently got married.

231
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:01,990
Mm-hmm.

232
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:06,327
Mr. Gary, have you noticed
any odd behavior from Lucas?

233
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,623
No. I mean, he's been a little withdrawn
since the wedding.

234
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:11,833
Mm-hmm.

235
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,669
I'm sorry.
W-Why do you keep "mm-hmm-ing"?

236
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,007
Mr. Gary, do you believe
in corporal punishment?

237
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:21,134
No.

238
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,802
Were you neglected as a child?

239
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,303
No.

240
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:26,222
Not entirely.

241
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,433
M-Maybe a little.

242
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:31,144
What was your relationship
with your own father?

243
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,939
- I didn't know my father.
- I see.

244
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:38,151
Do you mind telling me
what this is all about? What did Lucas do?

245
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,529
I'm afraid he spoke out of turn in class.

246
00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:43,781
Well, this is quite the response.

247
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:47,493
He told his science teacher Mrs. Deeter
to go to hell.

248
00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:50,413
Oh. Okay. Well, yeah, that is pretty bad.

249
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,540
Then she poured lye on her face

250
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:54,959
and hucked herself out
of a third story window.

251
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,628
Speared herself on the fence outside.

252
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:10,058
Now, we're not blaming Lucas,

253
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,560
but we've gone through his file,

254
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:17,357
and he seems to have a habit
of pushing people over the edge.

255
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,120
We're gonna have to suspend him
for a week.

256
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,153
- Are you sure that's necessary?
- I'm afraid so.

257
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:24,405
And we want him to see a counselor.

258
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:27,283
I'm gonna recommend group therapy
for you as well.

259
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:31,162
Somewhere where you can work out
some of your own father issues.

260
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:33,498
Honestly, I don't have any father issues.

261
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,249
You can work that out in group.

262
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:43,715
Oh, my God.

263
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:49,764
That's terrible.

264
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,684
I know. It's really tragic.

265
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:56,145
The way they're paying teachers,
I'm really not surprised.

266
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,731
I just can't imagine
what she must have been going through.

267
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,233
Shoot. I just...

268
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:03,319
I was hoping that Lucas would make
some new friends in this school,

269
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,255
and now nobody's gonna come
to his birthday party.

270
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,698
I'm not sure that should be
your biggest concern, hon.

271
00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:10,618
I met with a clown today, Gary. A clown.

272
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,870
Do you know how hard it is
to have a conversation

273
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:15,081
with a fully-grown man in a clown suit?

274
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,959
Okay. I'm sorry, I forgot about that.
How did that go?

275
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,586
Terribly. He's double-booked on Saturday,
and he can't do it.

276
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:24,507
It doesn't matter now.
I'll just call his birthday off.

277
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,217
I'm sure people will still come.

278
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:29,679
And I can help you find another clown
if it means that much.

279
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,306
It's not fair
that they singled out Lucas.

280
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:35,810
If she's that fragile,
then she shouldn't be teaching, right?

281
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:38,396
- Did you tell them that?
- No, I tried, but...

282
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:42,608
They were really focused on the fact that
I'm sort of a new figure in the house,

283
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,694
and they were acting like it was my fault.

284
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,529
They were?

285
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:50,199
Yeah, and they want me to see a therapist.
Isn't that weird?

286
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,161
What, you think I should?

287
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:55,246
I just... I mean...

288
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:59,041
you're not exactly having the easiest time
communicating with him.

289
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:01,210
But this isn't about me, Sam.

290
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:04,505
This is about Lucas.
What if there's something wrong with him?

291
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,841
There is nothing wrong with Lucas!

292
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:11,012
Damn it! Why is everything
always blamed on the child?

293
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,606
Hey, honey.

294
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:24,108
I am sorry.

295
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:28,905
It's just not fair, you know.
I mean, he's already been through so much.

296
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:31,824
He's a good kid, Gary.

297
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,785
He just...
He needs a positive male role model.

298
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:38,289
And every time I think
I found the perfect guy...

299
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:45,463
he winds up turning against him
and going crazy or...

300
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,675
dying in a horrible mulching accident.

301
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,595
What? Hey. Hey, come here.

302
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:55,681
I am so sorry, honey. I didn't know that.

303
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:59,268
He just... He can't deal
with any more rejection, Gary.

304
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:03,564
All right?
You... you have to be on his side.

305
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,775
- I am on his side.
- You're just saying that.

306
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:06,943
I'm not.

307
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,237
Sam, I love you.

308
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,531
Okay? And I didn't just make
a commitment to you.

309
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:12,949
I made a commitment to him.

310
00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:15,451
Do you understand?

311
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,247
Now, I'm gonna go up there
and have a heart-to-heart with him.

312
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:22,083
- I'm gonna turn this into a bonding thing.
- Okay.

313
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:25,336
Okay.

314
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:28,588
Hey, Gary?

315
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,051
You're gonna be a great dad.

316
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:41,435
Oh, shit.

317
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,444
Hey, Lucas? Can I come in?

318
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,490
Hey, pal. How are you feeling?

319
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,791
Is the cable out, or...?

320
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,753
Well, TV sucks anyway.

321
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:11,132
It's kinda cool to just use
your imagination, right?

322
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,807
Okay, um...

323
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:27,189
Listen, Lucas, I'm sure it seems like
we've been moving really fast,

324
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:30,109
but I'm your stepfather now...

325
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,820
Get out!

326
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,905
Yeah, okay. We'll just talk later.

327
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,240
Or whenever you want.

328
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:37,866
Okay?

329
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:45,915
How'd it go?

330
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:50,004
Oh. Uh, he just told me he wanted some
alone time through his, uh...

331
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:51,172
goat puppet.

332
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:53,341
Oh, yeah. That's his friend Reeroy.

333
00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,718
- Reeroy.
- He loves playing with him.

334
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:56,886
Good.

335
00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,848
I'll just let him have
a little Reeroy time then

336
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,516
and check in with him later.

337
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,601
Okay.

338
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:08,856
<i>You know what pisses me off?</i>

339
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,901
Kids nowadays, they don't even know
what's rad when they see it now.

340
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,319
When I was that age,

341
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:17,531
all I wanted was a '72 Chevrolet,
El Camino Monster Truck,

342
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:20,326
mounted on top
of some 66-inch Goodyear tires...

343
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:22,703
with an alcohol fuel injected
turbo engine.

344
00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,080
- Preach.
- Yep.

345
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,957
And now that I got one,
I got a stepkid,

346
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,126
and all he wants to do
is watch<i> Pitch Perfect.</i>

347
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:31,879
<i>Pitch Perfect One,
Pitch Perfect Two, Pitch Perfect Three.</i>

348
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:32,797
- Shit.
- Yeah.

349
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,799
"Jam" me man. Let's put on some Rush.

350
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:37,819
Put your hand on a speaker, your hand
on your heart, see if you feel something.

351
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,428
I said, "What are you feeling?"

352
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:40,513
He said, "Nothing."

353
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:44,517
I said, "That's America."
He didn't get it.

354
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:47,853
So, that's kind of where I'm at right now.

355
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:49,647
Thank you for sharing, Al.

356
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,065
- Good job.
- Nice work.

357
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:55,236
Okay, we've got a new guy.
Everybody, please welcome Gary.

358
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,779
- Hi, Jerry.
- All right, Gary.

359
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,572
- Welcome, man.
- Let's go, Gar!

360
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,201
Gary, can you share a little about
what you're going through?

361
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:05,246
Oh. Uh, no, thank you.
I'm just here to watch.

362
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:07,498
No, you're not here to watch.

363
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,959
- You're here to participate.
- This is a safe space, bro.

364
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,795
- Okay, all right.
- You got this, man.

365
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:14,380
Okay, um...

366
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:17,466
Well, my wife and I
just recently got married.

367
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,261
And you know,
I'm having a little tiny bit of trouble

368
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:22,388
bonding with my new stepson Lucas.

369
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:23,723
And how old is he?

370
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:25,266
He's about to turn six.

371
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:28,018
Yeah, we're actually having a party
for him on Saturday.

372
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:29,770
His real birthday's next Wednesday.

373
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:32,189
Ah, that's a great age.
He's still very malleable.

374
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:34,358
And how is it with his mother?

375
00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:36,068
Oh, uh, it's going great there.

376
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:38,904
I mean, she's just amazing
in so many ways.

377
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:39,988
Blowjobs.

378
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:45,161
But the fact that you don't get along
with her son

379
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,996
is putting a strain on the marriage?

380
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:49,623
No. Not really.

381
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:53,627
It will.
The mom's always gonna side with the son.

382
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,297
Can you tell us a little more about Lucas?

383
00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,466
Well, um...

384
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:01,927
He never really looks me in the eye.

385
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:04,430
Doesn't talk much,

386
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:07,308
uh, except when he tells his teachers
to go to hell

387
00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:11,979
or yells at me to get out
of his room using this, uh...

388
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,398
weird little goat puppet thing.

389
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:18,569
And I-I just...
I get this sense that he's...

390
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:20,070
That he's evil incarnate?

391
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:23,782
Yeah.

392
00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:27,244
Well, you're lucky, man.
I got girls. Twins.

393
00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:30,247
And they wake up every morning
literally plotting ways to torture me.

394
00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:35,044
This morning, they replaced my toothpaste
with my wife's Vagisil.

395
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,127
- Really?
- Yeah.

396
00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:37,922
Vagisil. That ain't shit.

397
00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:42,384
Yesterday, my stepson asked me
when I was gonna die.

398
00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:45,513
I told him,
"Listen, I don't know that. I...

399
00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:47,264
That's up to God."

400
00:21:47,348 --> 00:21:50,351
He said, "Well, when God does take you,
can I have your van?"

401
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:52,436
He's five.

402
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,980
- Well, at least he likes trucks.
- Fuck that, dude.

403
00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:56,833
- Jeremy pissed on my khakis.
- My kid's worse.

404
00:21:56,857 --> 00:21:58,526
My son shit in my sock drawer!

405
00:21:59,193 --> 00:22:01,403
- I stand corrected.
- It's the top drawer.

406
00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:04,198
So, he blamed it on the cat,

407
00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:08,661
but I know it wasn't the cat
because there were Jujubes in the shit,

408
00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:10,905
after I looked in it.
You want to talk about malleable?

409
00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:16,460
And that means that he crawled up
onto the fucking dresser,

410
00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:20,422
turned around, grabbed onto the mirror,
and then fucking opened the top drawer,

411
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:22,591
and then shit into the top drawer.

412
00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:26,929
In the mirror, he was looking at himself
knowing what he was doing,

413
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,597
shitting in my sock drawer.

414
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:32,059
And if you think I won't shit
in his backpack now,

415
00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:33,161
you got another thing coming.

416
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:34,645
- Wayne.
- I have it in the trunk.

417
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:36,522
I'm not saying we all have to do it,
but...

418
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:39,567
- I'm gonna pencil you in for twice a week.
- Thanks.

419
00:22:39,650 --> 00:22:41,235
And as for you, Gary,

420
00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:43,404
birthdays are a very special time
for kids.

421
00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:47,825
If you step up on this, it could be
a great breakthrough for both of you.

422
00:22:49,451 --> 00:22:54,415
<i>♪ If you're happy and you know it
Clap your hands ♪</i>

423
00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:57,751
<i>♪ If you're happy and you know it
Clap your hands ♪</i>

424
00:22:57,835 --> 00:23:01,171
<i>♪ If you're happy and you know it,
Then you'll really, truly show it ♪</i>

425
00:23:01,255 --> 00:23:03,882
<i>♪ If you're happy and you know it
Clap your hands ♪</i>

426
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:08,095
- Oh.
- How we doing there?

427
00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:10,764
Honestly, it's like<i> Lord of the Flies.</i>
It's really cool.

428
00:23:10,848 --> 00:23:11,932
- Everybody good?
- Hey.

429
00:23:12,016 --> 00:23:13,809
Great? Good? Okay.

430
00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:15,894
- Honey, this is amazing.
- Yeah?

431
00:23:15,978 --> 00:23:18,606
- Thank you so much for helping out.
- Yeah.

432
00:23:18,689 --> 00:23:21,191
- Where did you find the clown?
- I have my connections.

433
00:23:22,067 --> 00:23:24,320
Hey, do you think Lucas
is enjoying himself?

434
00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:26,822
- Yeah.
- Yeah?

435
00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:28,032
Yeah, of course he is.

436
00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:30,200
Oh, hey, Gar Bear, think fast!

437
00:23:30,951 --> 00:23:32,703
- Hey, Al.
- Nice catch, buddy.

438
00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:33,996
Thanks.

439
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:36,915
- This is a great party you got going here.
- Thank you.

440
00:23:36,999 --> 00:23:38,500
Do you guys know my wife Wendy?

441
00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:39,793
- Hi.
- Hi, nice to meet you.

442
00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:42,087
- You, too.
- I'm Samantha, this is Gary.

443
00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:44,465
- And is that your boy Lucas?
- Yeah.

444
00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:46,050
- Birthday boy.
- He's so cute.

445
00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:47,885
- Thanks.
- You want another drink?

446
00:23:47,968 --> 00:23:50,262
I make a killer Mantini, bro.

447
00:23:50,346 --> 00:23:52,181
Come on! Let's go get gross.

448
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:53,349
- Okay.
- Go, have fun.

449
00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:56,894
- Cheers. Mm-hmm.
- We're doin' it.

450
00:23:57,728 --> 00:24:00,481
- Ah.
- His real dad is a total fucking loser.

451
00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:04,777
Sits at home all day long, smoking pot
just to keep himself from freaking out.

452
00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:07,237
That's no way to raise a kid.
You gotta stay sharp.

453
00:24:07,321 --> 00:24:10,050
We gotta be ready at a moment's call.
You never know what's gonna happen.

454
00:24:10,074 --> 00:24:12,576
- We're kinda like first responders.
- That's real.

455
00:24:13,202 --> 00:24:15,037
Here's to getting hammered
and staying sharp.

456
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:16,830
- All right.
- Cheers, brothers.

457
00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:21,627
Dude, where did you find this clown?

458
00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:25,714
- Your clown's kinda blowing it, bro.
- Oh, he was supposed to be good.

459
00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:28,842
So what's up with Lucas' real dad?
You have to deal with him much?

460
00:24:28,926 --> 00:24:31,679
No, actually, Samantha doesn't even like
talking about him.

461
00:24:31,762 --> 00:24:35,516
Consider yourself lucky. I hate
taking the kids to their real dad's house.

462
00:24:35,599 --> 00:24:39,311
They come home with stories like,
"Oh, my God, he's so awesome.

463
00:24:39,395 --> 00:24:42,398
He let us play Minecraft for, like,
17 hours straight!"

464
00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:44,441
Then I got to deal
with their rage, you know?

465
00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:46,819
If I were you, I'd find out about
the kid's dad,

466
00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:50,030
because that DNA stuff
can be really wicked.

467
00:24:50,114 --> 00:24:52,157
You gotta find out
if he's got DNA, dude.

468
00:24:52,241 --> 00:24:54,868
- No, we all have DNA, guys, so...
- I'm not sure we do.

469
00:24:54,952 --> 00:24:57,329
- I thought it was VNA...
- No, DNA.

470
00:24:57,413 --> 00:24:59,873
- I guess...
- It's your genes.

471
00:24:59,957 --> 00:25:02,143
- The kid has it.
- He's definitely got it.

472
00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:04,211
No, it's not a disease.

473
00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:07,256
- It's actually... no, we all have DNA.
- You don't want it...

474
00:25:07,798 --> 00:25:08,966
I do?

475
00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:15,097
Never mind. That clown is fucking awesome!

476
00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:21,228
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Oh.

477
00:25:21,311 --> 00:25:22,771
Oh, shit.

478
00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:23,939
Oh.

479
00:25:24,022 --> 00:25:27,234
- It couldn't have worked out better.
- Yeah. Is that part of his act?

480
00:25:27,317 --> 00:25:28,444
That's not safe.

481
00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:32,489
I am so, so sorry about all this.

482
00:25:32,573 --> 00:25:34,950
You know what?
Here's a little something extra for you.

483
00:25:36,076 --> 00:25:37,453
I am so sorry.

484
00:25:38,287 --> 00:25:39,580
The child...

485
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:41,749
he did this to me.

486
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:44,084
He made me do it.

487
00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:45,961
He made me!

488
00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:56,388
Tammy, Wanda, come on!

489
00:25:57,681 --> 00:26:00,601
Hey, Gar. Great party.
Thanks for raising the bar.

490
00:26:01,101 --> 00:26:03,854
Now all the kids are gonna want
a burning clown for their birthday.

491
00:26:07,483 --> 00:26:11,528
- <i>Yeah, who's there?</i>
- Oh, hi, it's Gary Bloom from the wedding.

492
00:26:11,612 --> 00:26:12,612
<i>Did you come alone?</i>

493
00:26:13,614 --> 00:26:15,866
- Yeah, I came alone.
<i>- Were you followed?</i>

494
00:26:17,659 --> 00:26:18,494
No.

495
00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:19,787
<i>Come on up. Third floor.</i>

496
00:26:39,807 --> 00:26:40,808
Hello?

497
00:26:43,352 --> 00:26:44,478
Hello?

498
00:26:46,855 --> 00:26:47,940
Karl?

499
00:26:53,654 --> 00:26:54,780
Hello?

500
00:26:58,492 --> 00:27:00,702
Huh. Oh, my...

501
00:27:00,786 --> 00:27:04,123
Gary, thank you for coming.
I need you to see this.

502
00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:10,462
Check out this shot right here.

503
00:27:12,172 --> 00:27:13,215
It's amazing, right?

504
00:27:13,882 --> 00:27:16,635
The way the sunlight bangs up
against the lens like that.

505
00:27:16,718 --> 00:27:21,306
Yeah. Sorry. W-Why is the camera, like,
swinging all over the place?

506
00:27:21,390 --> 00:27:24,560
Were you not able to afford a tripod
with the money we gave you?

507
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:25,978
A tripod?

508
00:27:26,061 --> 00:27:27,229
Yeah.

509
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:31,441
Well, let me ask you something.
Did, uh, Scorsese ever use a tripod?

510
00:27:32,568 --> 00:27:34,820
Fellini? Cassavetes?

511
00:27:34,903 --> 00:27:38,073
I don't know. This isn't<i> Goodfellas,</i>
this is our wedding video.

512
00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:40,117
Jeez. Thank you very much, Leonard Maltin,

513
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:43,120
your review will be taken
into very serious consideration.

514
00:27:43,203 --> 00:27:45,038
I gotta ask you something.

515
00:27:45,122 --> 00:27:49,668
Did your film win "Best Short Doc"
at the Orinda Film Festival last year?

516
00:27:49,751 --> 00:27:50,919
- My...
- Did it?

517
00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:53,422
- No.
- Because mine did.

518
00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:55,632
- Okay.
- That's correct.

519
00:27:55,716 --> 00:27:58,260
Anyway, I think we have
bigger fish to fry here

520
00:27:58,343 --> 00:28:01,763
than your apparent lack of knowledge
about cinema.

521
00:28:02,139 --> 00:28:04,474
- Don't you?
- Sure.

522
00:28:04,558 --> 00:28:07,769
See, I thought that it was strange
when the preacher at your wedding

523
00:28:07,853 --> 00:28:09,229
started speaking in tongues.

524
00:28:09,313 --> 00:28:10,689
Oh, sorry, no. That was Latin.

525
00:28:10,772 --> 00:28:12,524
No, no, no. I thought it was Latin, too,

526
00:28:12,608 --> 00:28:15,027
because I have a keen ear for language
as a filmmaker,

527
00:28:15,110 --> 00:28:18,447
but I put those words
into Google Translations, and nothing.

528
00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:19,448
What?

529
00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:22,618
No known language. And that's Google, man.

530
00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:26,413
You have to listen.
Listen carefully. Open your ears.

531
00:28:26,496 --> 00:28:27,748
It does not sound like Latin.

532
00:28:31,335 --> 00:28:32,878
So, I slowed down the footage.

533
00:28:34,546 --> 00:28:36,131
And I played it in reverse.

534
00:28:36,214 --> 00:28:39,343
<i>Do you vow to protect the child</i>

535
00:28:39,426 --> 00:28:43,263
<i>come hellfire or brimstone?</i>

536
00:28:45,515 --> 00:28:48,393
Okay, why are you playing
my wedding video in reverse?

537
00:28:48,477 --> 00:28:53,398
I think the more important question here
is why is the preacher at your wedding

538
00:28:53,482 --> 00:28:57,319
asking you to vow
to protect the child in reverse?

539
00:28:57,402 --> 00:28:58,904
Yeah, that's a little odd, too.

540
00:28:58,987 --> 00:29:00,614
You bet your ass it's odd.

541
00:29:01,615 --> 00:29:05,535
When the tornado struck at your wedding,
I thought that was really rotten luck,

542
00:29:05,619 --> 00:29:07,746
but the more I thought about it,
the more I realized,

543
00:29:07,829 --> 00:29:09,831
it wasn't chance that ruined your wedding.

544
00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:15,712
- It was Satan.
- Okay, um, I think I'm gonna get...

545
00:29:15,796 --> 00:29:18,799
No, no, no, no! Gary, hold on!
Wait! Wait! Just watch, watch this!

546
00:29:19,091 --> 00:29:20,091
Watch, watch.

547
00:29:20,634 --> 00:29:22,386
<i>Run! Run for your lives!</i>

548
00:29:22,469 --> 00:29:25,305
Oh, my God, Uncle Scott.
I didn't even know he made it.

549
00:29:28,267 --> 00:29:29,393
Oh.

550
00:29:29,476 --> 00:29:30,936
No, no, pay him no mind.

551
00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:35,524
What you need to be paying attention to
is right there in the background.

552
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:40,862
Those winds were hitting
at 150 miles per hour,

553
00:29:42,239 --> 00:29:45,909
yet not one hair on his head is moving.

554
00:29:47,869 --> 00:29:48,954
Why?

555
00:29:50,789 --> 00:29:54,167
He's wearing a lot of hair gel?

556
00:29:54,251 --> 00:29:59,965
There's a barn being ripped to shreds
directly behind him in frame,

557
00:30:00,757 --> 00:30:02,175
and look at him.

558
00:30:03,343 --> 00:30:04,970
That is not normal.

559
00:30:06,596 --> 00:30:08,640
Does that seem normal to you?

560
00:30:10,225 --> 00:30:11,977
I did some research,

561
00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:14,813
because I fucking love researching things.

562
00:30:19,401 --> 00:30:20,401
Here it is.

563
00:30:21,028 --> 00:30:26,283
There is a religious group,
or a doomsday cult, what have you.

564
00:30:26,366 --> 00:30:30,120
They believe
a child will rise up from hell,

565
00:30:30,203 --> 00:30:33,915
to rule mankind, and to bring on
the end of the world as we know it.

566
00:30:35,709 --> 00:30:37,210
I think we found that child.

567
00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:42,549
He has risen from the bowels of hell.

568
00:30:43,925 --> 00:30:44,925
And now...

569
00:30:46,553 --> 00:30:48,055
you're his stepdad.

570
00:30:51,058 --> 00:30:52,058
You...

571
00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:53,727
I know.

572
00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:55,520
You need to...

573
00:30:57,022 --> 00:30:58,565
to use your tripod.

574
00:30:58,648 --> 00:31:01,068
No. It's fucking cinema verité, man!

575
00:31:01,151 --> 00:31:03,236
- I think we're gonna pass.
- No, no! Wait, wait!

576
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:05,238
Everyone your wife ever dated is dead!

577
00:31:06,782 --> 00:31:08,033
Look at this. Look, look.

578
00:31:08,658 --> 00:31:10,160
A lightning strike?

579
00:31:10,827 --> 00:31:13,497
A heart attack at 32?

580
00:31:15,332 --> 00:31:17,417
A freak mulching accident.

581
00:31:18,752 --> 00:31:20,420
Wait, what did you just say?

582
00:31:21,713 --> 00:31:23,423
They're all dead. All of them.

583
00:31:25,092 --> 00:31:26,259
All except for one.

584
00:31:30,806 --> 00:31:32,599
Gabriel Winthorp.

585
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:37,062
I found his address on the Internet.

586
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:39,480
Okay.

587
00:31:40,565 --> 00:31:42,692
We need to go talk to him.

588
00:31:47,155 --> 00:31:49,950
You think about it, Gary.
You call me when you come to your senses.

589
00:31:50,826 --> 00:31:54,287
I have all the equipment all read...
We can use the tripod, Gar!

590
00:32:07,551 --> 00:32:08,551
Hey!

591
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:11,221
Hey, buddy, what's up?

592
00:32:11,972 --> 00:32:16,309
What are... What are you doing?
Y-You just... Coloring in the dark there?

593
00:32:16,393 --> 00:32:17,436
Cool.

594
00:32:25,986 --> 00:32:27,195
Isn't it, uh...

595
00:32:28,488 --> 00:32:29,698
past your bedtime?

596
00:32:37,164 --> 00:32:39,374
You want me to turn off the light, or...

597
00:32:46,256 --> 00:32:49,134
Yeah. Thank you.
Thank you so much, Wendy.

598
00:32:49,217 --> 00:32:50,469
I really appreciate it.

599
00:32:50,552 --> 00:32:51,678
Okay.

600
00:32:51,761 --> 00:32:53,096
I know. I know.

601
00:32:53,180 --> 00:32:56,308
I hope Jeremy's nightmares
aren't too bad tonight, too.

602
00:32:59,227 --> 00:33:01,438
Okay. I know. Yeah, okay.

603
00:33:01,938 --> 00:33:03,899
I'll see you then. Bye-bye.

604
00:33:06,193 --> 00:33:07,861
Child Protective Services called.

605
00:33:07,944 --> 00:33:08,820
What?

606
00:33:08,904 --> 00:33:11,323
Apparently, they had calls from parents

607
00:33:11,406 --> 00:33:13,617
saying that we had a dangerous clown
at our party.

608
00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:16,661
Their children are gonna be
in therapy for the rest of their lives.

609
00:33:16,745 --> 00:33:20,582
- Gary, where did you find that clown?
- On the internet. I don't know.

610
00:33:20,665 --> 00:33:24,252
Sweetie, you can't just pick any clown
off the internet.

611
00:33:24,336 --> 00:33:25,504
You're a parent now.

612
00:33:25,587 --> 00:33:28,673
You have to hope for the best,
but you prepare for the worst.

613
00:33:28,757 --> 00:33:32,344
That's a good point, hon.
I'm gonna stick to that from now on.

614
00:33:33,470 --> 00:33:35,555
- Oh, man.
- They're sending someone here.

615
00:33:36,765 --> 00:33:37,807
Tomorrow.

616
00:33:38,350 --> 00:33:41,269
Wendy said she would come,
and she would help support.

617
00:33:41,353 --> 00:33:44,689
But, Gary, you need to be there too, okay?

618
00:33:46,149 --> 00:33:48,777
- Sweetie?
- Yeah, yeah, I'll be there.

619
00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:50,445
Really, Gary?

620
00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:52,822
Yeah.

621
00:33:54,574 --> 00:33:56,034
I will be there.

622
00:34:01,873 --> 00:34:05,085
You know, today I met with
our wedding videographer.

623
00:34:05,168 --> 00:34:07,963
Mm... God, I thought we agreed
we weren't gonna relive that.

624
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:11,508
Yeah, no, I know, but...
I wanted to see if we could salvage it.

625
00:34:11,591 --> 00:34:13,843
- And?
- We can't.

626
00:34:17,347 --> 00:34:21,268
Okay, do you remember the preacher
when he started speaking Latin?

627
00:34:21,351 --> 00:34:23,228
Mm, such a romantic language.

628
00:34:23,311 --> 00:34:26,231
Yeah, well, as it turns out,
he wasn't speaking Latin,

629
00:34:26,314 --> 00:34:29,776
he was speaking in English...
backwards.

630
00:34:33,989 --> 00:34:36,324
Okay, Gar. W-What was he saying?

631
00:34:36,408 --> 00:34:41,413
He made me vow to protect the child
come hellfire or brimstone.

632
00:34:41,496 --> 00:34:44,165
- I'm serious, Sam.
- Well, at least he made a good point.

633
00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:47,335
In reverse.
Why would he make his point in reverse?

634
00:34:47,419 --> 00:34:52,382
I don't know, Gary. I'm sure people
make points in reverse all the time.

635
00:34:53,133 --> 00:34:54,426
I'm pretty sure they don't.

636
00:34:55,927 --> 00:34:59,306
I mean, maybe Ozzy Osbourne,
but that's it.

637
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,817
So, Gar, w-what are you saying?

638
00:35:10,900 --> 00:35:12,736
I don't know. I'm just sort of...

639
00:35:17,741 --> 00:35:21,828
Look, I'm wondering again
about Lucas' biological father.

640
00:35:21,911 --> 00:35:24,748
What does that have to do with anything?
You're his father now.

641
00:35:24,831 --> 00:35:26,041
Well, yeah...

642
00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:28,251
I told you parenting would be hard, and...

643
00:35:28,918 --> 00:35:31,546
- you said you were up for it.
- I did. I did say that.

644
00:35:31,630 --> 00:35:34,299
See, so you just need
to take all this stress

645
00:35:34,382 --> 00:35:37,844
and crumple it in a little ball
and throw it away.

646
00:35:37,927 --> 00:35:40,388
- Maybe you're right.
- Of course, I'm right.

647
00:35:41,598 --> 00:35:45,352
I mean, why don't you
just get out of these?

648
00:35:45,435 --> 00:35:47,354
And I will give you a massage,

649
00:35:48,355 --> 00:35:49,939
and I will take it from there.

650
00:35:50,649 --> 00:35:52,192
Shouldn't we put Lucas to bed?

651
00:35:53,234 --> 00:35:54,986
I tucked him in an hour ago.

652
00:36:02,077 --> 00:36:04,079
Oh, man, that feels so good.

653
00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:05,538
Mmm.

654
00:36:06,373 --> 00:36:09,876
Baby, listen, I know that
we're an unconventional family.

655
00:36:09,959 --> 00:36:12,170
I mean, we're not totally normal.

656
00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:19,844
And the way Lucas was conceived
wasn't exactly ideal.

657
00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:22,931
But at least we're together, right?

658
00:36:23,890 --> 00:36:25,392
Yeah, yeah.

659
00:36:25,475 --> 00:36:27,102
I agree 100%.

660
00:36:27,644 --> 00:36:31,981
Hey, r-remind me again
how Lucas was conceived.

661
00:36:32,065 --> 00:36:34,776
- Promise you won't judge?
- No, of course not.

662
00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:37,362
Oh, man, that's the spot right there.

663
00:36:37,445 --> 00:36:38,697
Okay.

664
00:36:38,780 --> 00:36:42,867
Well, you remember when I told you
about that crazy time in my 20s,

665
00:36:42,951 --> 00:36:47,038
where I dropped out of school,
and then I joined that sort of like...

666
00:36:47,622 --> 00:36:48,622
like cult.

667
00:36:49,290 --> 00:36:53,253
Uh, no, I don't think
you told me about that.

668
00:36:53,336 --> 00:36:57,090
Well, I guess they were pretty shocked
to find out that I was a virgin, still,

669
00:36:57,173 --> 00:37:00,510
and so, they threw
this huge ceremony for me,

670
00:37:00,593 --> 00:37:04,389
where they all got dressed up
in these long, flowy black robes,

671
00:37:04,472 --> 00:37:07,142
and they wore these elaborate masks.

672
00:37:07,642 --> 00:37:10,145
And there were all kinds of herbs.

673
00:37:10,645 --> 00:37:11,646
Lots of herbs.

674
00:37:11,730 --> 00:37:13,565
Okay...

675
00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:17,152
Anyway, they were chanting,
and then they put me in this star,

676
00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:22,073
and they covered me in this warm,
red body paint.

677
00:37:23,783 --> 00:37:24,617
And then?

678
00:37:24,701 --> 00:37:27,495
I... I don't really know. I...

679
00:37:28,455 --> 00:37:31,458
must have blacked out
'cause I had this terrible nightmare.

680
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:38,381
But when I woke up,
I left, and I never looked back.

681
00:37:42,886 --> 00:37:44,721
What? Oh, do...

682
00:37:44,804 --> 00:37:46,973
- No...
- I told you it wasn't ideal.

683
00:37:47,056 --> 00:37:49,267
- You said you wouldn't judge!
- I'm not judging.

684
00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:52,020
I'm just saying maybe this is
the sort of thing we'd talk about

685
00:37:52,103 --> 00:37:53,605
before we get married.

686
00:37:53,688 --> 00:37:57,108
I was young,
and maybe I was a little naive, right?

687
00:37:57,859 --> 00:38:02,447
But, Gar, I wouldn't change anything
even if I could because now I have...

688
00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:06,326
Lucas! Hi, honey.

689
00:38:06,409 --> 00:38:09,412
- Hey, buddy.
- Are you okay, honey?

690
00:38:10,205 --> 00:38:14,667
Are you still upset
about that clown Gary hired? Yeah?

691
00:38:14,751 --> 00:38:16,419
You want to sleep with us tonight?

692
00:38:17,337 --> 00:38:20,965
Um, don't you think...
Never mind. Come on in, buddy.

693
00:38:22,842 --> 00:38:24,344
Let's have a sleepover.

694
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,308
All right, snuggle up.

695
00:38:31,601 --> 00:38:34,771
Get cozy.
And no burning clowns in your dreams.

696
00:38:38,650 --> 00:38:40,068
Tomorrow's a new day.

697
00:39:57,812 --> 00:39:59,981
She said he was conceived
out of a nightmare

698
00:40:00,064 --> 00:40:01,900
during some satanic cult ritual.

699
00:40:01,983 --> 00:40:04,694
She was young and needed the money.
Doesn't mean anything.

700
00:40:04,777 --> 00:40:06,696
What about the clown?
You think that was normal?

701
00:40:06,779 --> 00:40:09,741
No, no, that was definitely
an unusual clown.

702
00:40:09,824 --> 00:40:11,784
Okay, well, this is gonna sound nuts,

703
00:40:11,868 --> 00:40:16,664
but I think there's a chance that maybe
he caused the tornado at my wedding.

704
00:40:16,748 --> 00:40:18,958
- Who, the clown?
- No, dude. Lucas.

705
00:40:19,042 --> 00:40:20,668
Yeah, right.

706
00:40:20,752 --> 00:40:24,047
Yeah, that freaky little kid definitely
caused a tornado at the party.

707
00:40:24,130 --> 00:40:27,550
Al, listen to me. I had worms
coming out of my nose last night.

708
00:40:27,634 --> 00:40:31,137
Jesus! That's, like,
a serious hygiene issue, man.

709
00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:34,307
- Maybe it was a dream.
- Still, you should get that looked at.

710
00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:35,934
This must be it.

711
00:40:39,228 --> 00:40:41,314
Are you sure you want to do this, man?

712
00:40:41,397 --> 00:40:43,483
I hate meeting my wife's exes.

713
00:40:59,916 --> 00:41:00,916
Hey.

714
00:41:01,793 --> 00:41:02,919
Hey, yo. Excuse me.

715
00:41:03,628 --> 00:41:05,088
- Hey.
- Hi.

716
00:41:06,005 --> 00:41:10,635
She has begun to cry tears of blood.

717
00:41:12,011 --> 00:41:13,221
Is that right?

718
00:41:14,347 --> 00:41:17,600
We're looking for a guy named Gabriel.
Do you know him?

719
00:41:19,477 --> 00:41:21,562
Gabriel cannot be disturbed.

720
00:41:22,522 --> 00:41:23,940
Okay, well...

721
00:41:24,482 --> 00:41:25,942
He used to know my wife.

722
00:41:26,025 --> 00:41:28,277
I just have a few questions for him,

723
00:41:28,361 --> 00:41:31,030
mostly about my weird
little stepson Lucas.

724
00:41:32,699 --> 00:41:35,952
Follow me. Speak no words.

725
00:41:36,619 --> 00:41:37,829
- Okay.
- No problem.

726
00:41:59,183 --> 00:42:00,768
Gabriel!

727
00:42:01,853 --> 00:42:03,688
You have guests.

728
00:42:07,316 --> 00:42:08,401
Um...

729
00:42:11,821 --> 00:42:14,699
Hey. Hi, I'm Gary.

730
00:42:14,782 --> 00:42:17,160
Um... This is my friend, Al.

731
00:42:17,243 --> 00:42:21,748
And, uh, you know,
we're, well, we're stepdads.

732
00:42:21,831 --> 00:42:22,832
Get to the point.

733
00:42:22,915 --> 00:42:24,250
Okay. Uh...

734
00:42:25,084 --> 00:42:28,921
I think maybe you used to know, um...

735
00:42:29,005 --> 00:42:31,591
my wife Samantha
and my little stepson Lucas.

736
00:42:31,674 --> 00:42:34,927
God forgive me for I have sinned!

737
00:42:35,011 --> 00:42:37,513
Would you stop with the flagellating?

738
00:42:37,597 --> 00:42:39,157
This is why I'm happy we're in therapy.

739
00:42:39,223 --> 00:42:41,642
This is what happens
when you don't talk stuff out.

740
00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:43,436
The end is near.

741
00:42:43,519 --> 00:42:46,606
Oh, Lord, please do not blame me
for what cannot be stopped!

742
00:42:46,689 --> 00:42:48,441
I think maybe we should just go.

743
00:42:48,524 --> 00:42:51,944
You must travel to the old marketplace
in the city of Bethlehem.

744
00:42:52,028 --> 00:42:55,031
Seek out the demon hunter Gozamel.

745
00:42:55,114 --> 00:42:56,532
Only he can help you now.

746
00:42:56,616 --> 00:42:57,617
Bethlehem?

747
00:42:57,700 --> 00:43:01,454
"And they that dwell upon the Earth
did wonder seeing the beast,

748
00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:04,040
that it was a thing,

749
00:43:04,624 --> 00:43:07,335
and is not, and yet now is!"

750
00:43:08,127 --> 00:43:09,629
I'm not following...

751
00:43:09,712 --> 00:43:11,964
Revelation, chapter 17.

752
00:43:13,508 --> 00:43:14,801
The child.

753
00:43:15,927 --> 00:43:17,512
He is the Antichrist!

754
00:43:19,013 --> 00:43:20,223
Okay.

755
00:43:21,724 --> 00:43:23,101
Okay, thanks.

756
00:43:23,684 --> 00:43:28,272
And, uh, thank you for welcoming us
into your beautiful home.

757
00:43:28,898 --> 00:43:31,317
And, uh, we're gonna let you get back
to your stuff...

758
00:43:32,276 --> 00:43:33,319
you know.

759
00:43:34,612 --> 00:43:35,655
Let's go.

760
00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:45,206
I gotta tell you, man, I'm feeling
so much better about Jeremy right now.

761
00:43:45,289 --> 00:43:48,459
He's a spoiled little shit, but at least
he's not the fucking Antichrist.

762
00:43:49,544 --> 00:43:50,545
Seriously?

763
00:43:51,295 --> 00:43:52,295
Seriously.

764
00:43:56,634 --> 00:43:59,554
Wasn't there, like, a sign
or anything when you were dating?

765
00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:02,014
No, I mean, it all moved so fast.

766
00:44:02,098 --> 00:44:04,267
I figured he'd warm up to me
at some point.

767
00:44:04,350 --> 00:44:07,937
You must have had some indication
that kid is, like, pure fucking evil?

768
00:44:08,020 --> 00:44:09,772
Yeah, Al, all the time.

769
00:44:09,856 --> 00:44:12,733
But you told me that was normal,
that all kids are dicks.

770
00:44:12,817 --> 00:44:15,903
That's true, kids are dicks, man.
But this is a different level.

771
00:44:15,987 --> 00:44:18,197
He's like top of the dick chain, bro.

772
00:44:18,281 --> 00:44:20,283
- <i>Breaking news...</i>
- Two more, please.

773
00:44:20,366 --> 00:44:23,369
<i>- Jane Hernandez is on scene where...</i>
- You could get a divorce.

774
00:44:23,452 --> 00:44:25,955
No, I don't want a divorce, Al.

775
00:44:26,038 --> 00:44:28,666
Okay? Samantha's perfect.
She's everything I ever wanted.

776
00:44:28,749 --> 00:44:30,668
She comes with some hefty baggage.

777
00:44:30,751 --> 00:44:33,212
- Al, it is not an option!
- Okay.

778
00:44:33,296 --> 00:44:35,047
<i>Wanda, what do you see there?</i>

779
00:44:36,424 --> 00:44:39,969
<i>End of world followers
of infamous cult leader JD Gospel,</i>

780
00:44:40,052 --> 00:44:43,472
<i>have begun stocking up on canned goods,
rice, beans...</i>

781
00:44:43,556 --> 00:44:47,101
- That's the guy that bought the nunnery.
<i>- When is the end actually coming?</i>

782
00:44:47,185 --> 00:44:51,147
Hey, I think maybe
we should go find this guy Gozamel.

783
00:44:51,439 --> 00:44:53,107
Maybe he could help us out.

784
00:44:54,066 --> 00:44:57,945
Look, I don't know if I told you this,
but I'm coaching Jeremy's baseball team,

785
00:44:58,029 --> 00:45:01,407
so for me getting to Bethlehem, Israel,
is a little out of the question.

786
00:45:01,490 --> 00:45:03,409
- Just right now is not a good time.
- I get it.

787
00:45:03,492 --> 00:45:05,161
- Not a good time.
<i>- There you have it.</i>

788
00:45:05,244 --> 00:45:09,373
<i>I'm Jane Hernandez, reporting live
from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.</i>

789
00:45:09,457 --> 00:45:11,626
<i>Next up, cremation or burial?</i>

790
00:45:20,009 --> 00:45:23,804
Excuse me.
Um, we're looking for a guy named Gozamel.

791
00:45:23,888 --> 00:45:25,973
- He's busy.
- Oh, that's great. He's here.

792
00:45:26,057 --> 00:45:29,268
- Um, we really need to see him.
- Yeah, we're on a mission from God.

793
00:45:31,145 --> 00:45:34,231
Gozamel to cashier. Gozamel to cashier.

794
00:45:41,364 --> 00:45:42,990
Um, Gozamel?

795
00:45:44,450 --> 00:45:46,577
I'm Gozamel. You guys were looking for me?

796
00:45:48,245 --> 00:45:51,165
So, what makes you think your stepson
is the spawn of Satan?

797
00:45:51,248 --> 00:45:54,502
- Well, he's just this really weird kid.
- Super weird, dude.

798
00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:58,130
And he has these beady little eyes that,
like, bore into your soul.

799
00:45:58,214 --> 00:45:59,382
Very beady little eyes.

800
00:45:59,465 --> 00:46:01,884
He manipulates people into doing stuff
they don't want to do.

801
00:46:01,968 --> 00:46:04,261
Jumping out of buildings,
lighting themselves on fire...

802
00:46:04,345 --> 00:46:05,763
And talking backwards.

803
00:46:05,846 --> 00:46:08,057
Sounds like
your average devil child to me.

804
00:46:08,140 --> 00:46:09,725
This is me.

805
00:46:10,184 --> 00:46:12,478
- When's his birthday?
- We just had his birthday party.

806
00:46:12,561 --> 00:46:14,563
But his real birthday
is the sixth of June.

807
00:46:14,647 --> 00:46:17,024
- How old is he turning?
- Six.

808
00:46:18,943 --> 00:46:21,612
Oh, shit, it's him. It's him!

809
00:46:22,154 --> 00:46:24,075
- No, I've got it.
- You want some help?

810
00:46:27,284 --> 00:46:29,324
- Oh, that's not...
- You're gonna crush those buns!

811
00:46:29,370 --> 00:46:30,371
I got it!

812
00:46:30,454 --> 00:46:31,664
Whoa!

813
00:46:31,747 --> 00:46:34,208
- Thank you so much, young man.
- Let's go!

814
00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:36,585
But, hold on, we drove.

815
00:46:36,669 --> 00:46:40,339
It's the end of the world!
We'll drop you off afterwards. Come on!

816
00:46:40,423 --> 00:46:42,383
I'm good with that. Come on, buddy!

817
00:46:42,466 --> 00:46:44,635
- Well...
- Let's go save the world, man!

818
00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:45,720
Whoo!

819
00:46:58,190 --> 00:47:00,651
I have been
prepping for this my entire life!

820
00:47:00,735 --> 00:47:03,612
- That's great news, man!
- We're really glad we found you.

821
00:47:03,696 --> 00:47:06,615
Thanks. I got some donuts and beer
in the cooler if you guys want.

822
00:47:06,699 --> 00:47:07,950
- No way!
- Yeah.

823
00:47:08,034 --> 00:47:09,535
Score!

824
00:47:09,618 --> 00:47:11,829
- Gozamel, you're the best, my brother.
- Thank you.

825
00:47:11,912 --> 00:47:13,789
- Is there a seat belt back here?
- Seat belt?

826
00:47:13,873 --> 00:47:16,584
You don't need a fucking seat belt.
This is the end of the world!

827
00:47:16,667 --> 00:47:18,210
- There are no rules!
- No rules.

828
00:47:18,294 --> 00:47:20,004
I'd still like to have a seat belt.

829
00:47:20,087 --> 00:47:23,340
When I was a kid,
my father told me I have a destiny.

830
00:47:23,424 --> 00:47:25,843
And my destiny was to save the world.

831
00:47:25,926 --> 00:47:29,180
- That must have been a pretty heavy talk.
- Fuck yeah, it was heavy, man.

832
00:47:29,263 --> 00:47:31,015
'Cause he was dying in my arms.

833
00:47:31,098 --> 00:47:33,684
But then he bequeathed onto me
the knife of destiny.

834
00:47:34,393 --> 00:47:37,980
And he told me, "You take that little
Antichrist fuck-up to hallowed ground,

835
00:47:38,064 --> 00:47:40,358
- and you stab him right in the chest!"
- I'm sorry, what?

836
00:47:40,441 --> 00:47:43,069
But you gotta do it by 6:00 p.m.
on June the sixth.

837
00:47:43,778 --> 00:47:46,258
Man, I was getting worried.
I didn't think it was gonna happen.

838
00:47:46,322 --> 00:47:49,784
- No. What did you say about a knife?
- The knife of destiny.

839
00:47:49,867 --> 00:47:52,661
It's in the little chest of drawers
I built in on the side.

840
00:47:52,745 --> 00:47:54,997
I wanted to make sure
it was next to me at all times.

841
00:47:55,790 --> 00:47:56,790
Hmm?

842
00:47:56,832 --> 00:47:59,752
Yeah, that's it.
That knife will kill anybody.

843
00:47:59,835 --> 00:48:02,671
No, we are not stabbing my stepson
in the chest!

844
00:48:02,755 --> 00:48:05,549
Yeah, his wife's already pretty upset.
They're not getting along.

845
00:48:05,633 --> 00:48:06,926
That's not gonna help.

846
00:48:07,009 --> 00:48:10,638
We'll burn him alive or drown him,
as long as it's on hallowed ground.

847
00:48:10,721 --> 00:48:13,974
What?
No, we're not doing any of those things!

848
00:48:14,058 --> 00:48:16,143
Did you think
I was gonna play footsie with him?

849
00:48:16,227 --> 00:48:20,731
- I don't know. Exorcise him? I...
- You can't exorcise the Antichrist, bro.

850
00:48:20,815 --> 00:48:22,858
Let's sacrifice a goat.
Something like that.

851
00:48:22,942 --> 00:48:25,528
- Yeah, a goat.
- Why hurt an innocent goat?

852
00:48:25,611 --> 00:48:27,238
I'm just brainstorming.

853
00:48:27,780 --> 00:48:33,035
All right, well, there is this myth
about someone called the Keymaster,

854
00:48:33,119 --> 00:48:35,329
that he could save the world
without killing the kid.

855
00:48:35,412 --> 00:48:38,541
Way to bury the lead, man.
Yeah, let's go find the Keymaster.

856
00:48:40,417 --> 00:48:43,170
There's no fucking keymaster!

857
00:48:43,254 --> 00:48:44,421
I made it up.

858
00:48:44,505 --> 00:48:46,298
From<i> Ghostbusters,</i> remember?

859
00:48:46,382 --> 00:48:49,385
- Here. Hand me that thing.
<i>- Ghostbusters.</i> You didn't make it up.

860
00:48:49,468 --> 00:48:50,553
Don't worry, guys.

861
00:48:50,636 --> 00:48:52,888
I've been prepping for this
my entire life.

862
00:48:52,972 --> 00:48:55,012
- There's nothing that can happen...
- No, look out!

863
00:49:12,575 --> 00:49:13,617
Holy crap.

864
00:49:14,410 --> 00:49:17,163
- You okay?
- Yeah, I think I'm all right.

865
00:49:17,705 --> 00:49:19,707
It's a good thing you were wearing
your seat belt.

866
00:49:21,083 --> 00:49:23,419
Holy shit!

867
00:49:23,669 --> 00:49:26,547
- Gozamel?
- Gozer?

868
00:49:26,630 --> 00:49:27,630
Gozamel?

869
00:49:27,673 --> 00:49:30,217
Gozer, you little demon hunter,
where you at, boy?

870
00:49:30,301 --> 00:49:31,677
Gozamel?

871
00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:33,888
Over here!

872
00:49:37,558 --> 00:49:38,934
Oh, shit!

873
00:49:40,269 --> 00:49:42,479
Oh, shit...

874
00:49:44,648 --> 00:49:46,567
I'm sorry I let you down.

875
00:49:47,359 --> 00:49:49,278
I'm sorry I let you down, Daddy!

876
00:49:49,361 --> 00:49:52,406
Buddy, you didn't let your dad down, man.

877
00:49:52,865 --> 00:49:54,825
You... you're the stepfather.

878
00:49:56,619 --> 00:50:00,706
His destiny is in your hands now.

879
00:50:01,790 --> 00:50:04,126
When the time is nigh,

880
00:50:05,085 --> 00:50:07,922
you'll get a sign from above.

881
00:50:09,506 --> 00:50:14,803
Look... for... the... sign.

882
00:50:14,887 --> 00:50:15,930
Gozer?

883
00:50:17,097 --> 00:50:18,390
Gozer?

884
00:50:19,433 --> 00:50:20,559
Gozer, buddy?

885
00:50:21,727 --> 00:50:25,189
God! I told you we should have
fucking caravanned!

886
00:50:25,272 --> 00:50:28,442
- Okay, that might have been a better idea.
- God, this is crazy.

887
00:50:28,525 --> 00:50:30,236
Oh, my God, this is so crazy.

888
00:50:30,319 --> 00:50:33,030
- Dude, bro, you gotta relax, man.
- How can I relax?

889
00:50:33,113 --> 00:50:34,573
- We're in a cornfield!
- So?

890
00:50:34,657 --> 00:50:37,409
What good thing has ever happened
in a cornfield, Al?

891
00:50:37,493 --> 00:50:40,371
Well, I don't know.
<i>Field of Dreams</i> is pretty cool.

892
00:50:43,749 --> 00:50:46,126
Okay. All right, all right.

893
00:50:46,210 --> 00:50:49,338
All right, we're not that far.
We can... We can walk home.

894
00:50:50,714 --> 00:50:53,217
Well, are we just gonna
leave him here?

895
00:50:53,300 --> 00:50:54,551
Oh, fuck.

896
00:50:55,010 --> 00:50:57,012
Give me the knife. Give me the knife.

897
00:50:57,096 --> 00:50:58,389
I'm coming, bro!

898
00:50:59,181 --> 00:51:03,185
All I wanted was to get married
and be happy.

899
00:51:03,269 --> 00:51:06,146
- Have a normal life.
- Nobody has a normal life, man.

900
00:51:06,230 --> 00:51:09,650
No, I know, but, like,
in the realm of normal.

901
00:51:09,733 --> 00:51:11,694
There's... There's a realm.

902
00:51:11,777 --> 00:51:15,155
So, your stepkid's a little evil.
It's not like it's the end of the world.

903
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:18,450
Okay, maybe in this case, it actually is,
but I'm a stepdad, too.

904
00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:19,785
You know what that means?

905
00:51:19,868 --> 00:51:22,788
I would never leave you
on the battlefield. I wouldn't do it!

906
00:51:22,871 --> 00:51:26,583
You know, can we just try
walking in silence rest of the way?

907
00:51:26,667 --> 00:51:28,794
Yeah, man, no problem.
Was I talking too much?

908
00:51:28,877 --> 00:51:30,337
Total silence. No problem.

909
00:51:31,088 --> 00:51:32,673
House is right up here.

910
00:51:33,424 --> 00:51:35,551
We made it. I'm home.

911
00:51:35,634 --> 00:51:38,595
- You're home. Jiggity jig.
- Shit.

912
00:51:41,807 --> 00:51:43,976
- That's not him, is it?
- Yeah.

913
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:46,145
He loves to swing.

914
00:51:47,021 --> 00:51:48,022
Okay.

915
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:51,859
All right, little brother.
I gotta get out of here.

916
00:51:51,942 --> 00:51:54,153
I'll catch you at work tomorrow,
all right? Cool.

917
00:51:54,236 --> 00:51:57,698
Wait. What happened to not leaving
a soldier on the battlefield?

918
00:51:57,781 --> 00:51:59,533
I'm not leaving you, man.

919
00:51:59,617 --> 00:52:01,493
I'm not leaving you, like, forever.

920
00:52:02,161 --> 00:52:05,247
But right now, it's getting kinda late.
It's past my bedtime.

921
00:52:05,331 --> 00:52:07,875
I gotta get my snoozies in
'cause I get real fucking cranky.

922
00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:10,627
You don't want to see me cranky,
do you, man? Take this.

923
00:52:11,253 --> 00:52:14,048
- Take it! Take it!
- What the hell am I gonna do with this?

924
00:52:14,131 --> 00:52:15,632
- I don't know.
- He's just a kid.

925
00:52:15,716 --> 00:52:18,927
- You're a fucking warrior! I've got to go.
- What...

926
00:52:19,011 --> 00:52:21,847
I gotta do crosswalk duty
in the morning, man. I gotta go!

927
00:52:21,930 --> 00:52:22,930
Al!

928
00:52:31,982 --> 00:52:32,982
Oh, fuck.

929
00:52:33,525 --> 00:52:34,525
Oh, shit.

930
00:52:38,530 --> 00:52:41,575
You know, Gary really is
just the kindest man.

931
00:52:41,658 --> 00:52:43,660
He is so good to us.

932
00:52:44,203 --> 00:52:47,623
He hasn't totally got
the parenting thing... Gary!

933
00:52:47,706 --> 00:52:50,417
- Yeah?
- Gary! Hi. Come in, please.

934
00:52:50,501 --> 00:52:53,087
- You remember Wendy, from the party?
- Of course. Hello.

935
00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:56,882
And this is Mrs. Shaylock
from Child Protective Services.

936
00:52:57,508 --> 00:52:59,176
- Oh, hi. Hello.
- Hello.

937
00:52:59,259 --> 00:53:01,279
- Very nice to meet you. Yes.
- So nice to meet you.

938
00:53:01,303 --> 00:53:04,598
I am so sorry for being late.
I was racing home from work.

939
00:53:05,808 --> 00:53:09,103
- You work in a cornfield?
- No.

940
00:53:09,186 --> 00:53:10,896
- No.
- No.

941
00:53:10,979 --> 00:53:12,606
- I'm in real estate. And I...
- Oh.

942
00:53:13,816 --> 00:53:17,528
Go walking in cornfields at night,
sometimes to gather my thoughts.

943
00:53:17,611 --> 00:53:21,073
Well, then I would love for you
to share them with us right now.

944
00:53:21,156 --> 00:53:23,742
- Mr. Bloom, please have a seat. Come on.
- Okay.

945
00:53:23,826 --> 00:53:25,411
Can I just... I'm sorry.

946
00:53:25,494 --> 00:53:29,832
I was just telling Miss Shaylock
how you are trying...

947
00:53:29,915 --> 00:53:30,999
- Gary?
- Yeah?

948
00:53:31,083 --> 00:53:35,295
How you are trying so hard
to reach out to Lucas.

949
00:53:35,379 --> 00:53:38,841
That's right. Yeah, yeah.
I'm... I am trying.

950
00:53:38,924 --> 00:53:41,343
It's always so hard for stepdads.

951
00:53:41,427 --> 00:53:44,096
Tell me, Mr. Bloom, all the things

952
00:53:44,179 --> 00:53:46,473
that you do with the dear boy.

953
00:53:47,099 --> 00:53:49,810
Uh, w-well, I've taken him to school...

954
00:53:49,893 --> 00:53:51,562
- School.
- And...

955
00:53:52,521 --> 00:53:55,774
I've tried talking to him a bunch
of times. You know?

956
00:53:55,858 --> 00:53:58,569
Gary helped plan Lucas' birthday party.

957
00:53:58,652 --> 00:54:01,738
The one with the burning clown
that traumatized all the children?

958
00:54:01,822 --> 00:54:03,023
Lucas really looks up to Gary.

959
00:54:03,073 --> 00:54:06,285
I mean, just tonight, he told me
that he didn't want to go to sleep

960
00:54:06,368 --> 00:54:08,162
until Gary tucked him in.

961
00:54:08,245 --> 00:54:10,164
But I just saw him outside on the swing.

962
00:54:10,247 --> 00:54:13,333
Gary, don't be silly.
He is upstairs in his bedroom.

963
00:54:13,417 --> 00:54:14,918
It was the sweetest thing.

964
00:54:15,002 --> 00:54:17,880
He said in his little angel voice,
"Can Daddy please tuck me in?"

965
00:54:17,963 --> 00:54:19,757
- He called him "Daddy."
- What an angel.

966
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:21,592
Yeah, a fallen...

967
00:54:21,675 --> 00:54:25,262
asleep angel, which I am way too bushed
to put down tonight.

968
00:54:25,345 --> 00:54:27,639
- Go tuck your son in.
- He's probably asleep.

969
00:54:27,723 --> 00:54:30,976
He's probably awake
and waiting up for you to tuck him in.

970
00:54:31,059 --> 00:54:32,269
- Gary!
- All right.

971
00:54:36,648 --> 00:54:41,236
- "A little reluctant to tuck..."
- You don't need to write that down.

972
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:42,988
I'll be the judge of that.

973
00:54:44,990 --> 00:54:46,116
All right.

974
00:54:52,539 --> 00:54:54,833
Hey, the lights are burned out up here.

975
00:54:54,917 --> 00:54:57,085
There is a flashlight on the wall.

976
00:55:00,339 --> 00:55:02,216
This is fucking bullshit.

977
00:55:03,592 --> 00:55:04,676
All right.

978
00:55:05,761 --> 00:55:06,761
Here we go.

979
00:55:07,888 --> 00:55:11,266
He's a fucking five year old kid.
Nothing to be afraid of.

980
00:55:13,143 --> 00:55:14,394
Okay.

981
00:55:15,646 --> 00:55:16,730
All right.

982
00:55:19,066 --> 00:55:20,734
Shit.

983
00:55:21,693 --> 00:55:24,404
You marry a beautiful woman
and all hell breaks loose.

984
00:55:26,823 --> 00:55:27,950
All right.

985
00:55:41,255 --> 00:55:43,298
Hey, uh... hey, Lucas?

986
00:55:44,675 --> 00:55:46,260
You want me to tuck you in, buddy?

987
00:55:49,179 --> 00:55:51,056
Lucas, you in here?

988
00:55:53,642 --> 00:55:54,642
Jesus.

989
00:55:58,105 --> 00:55:59,231
Lucas?

990
00:56:06,655 --> 00:56:08,740
"Erutpar."

991
00:56:09,032 --> 00:56:12,077
<i>I'm Remi the Lion. Wanna play?</i>

992
00:56:14,746 --> 00:56:16,206
No, Remi, not right now.

993
00:56:17,457 --> 00:56:20,335
<i>I'm Remi the Lion. Wanna play?</i>

994
00:56:21,712 --> 00:56:26,008
<i>- </i><i>I'm Remi the Lion. Wanna play?</i>
- I told you, Remi, I don't wanna play.

995
00:56:26,758 --> 00:56:30,304
<i>I'm Remi the Lion. Wanna play?</i>

996
00:56:33,557 --> 00:56:34,725
Shut up.

997
00:56:34,808 --> 00:56:38,145
<i>You want to play?</i>

998
00:56:40,856 --> 00:56:42,024
Samantha? Somebody?

999
00:56:42,107 --> 00:56:43,275
Somebody, help!

1000
00:56:44,901 --> 00:56:49,156
- Why is it so hard for men?
- You have to demand more from him.

1001
00:56:49,239 --> 00:56:50,532
Samantha? Somebody?

1002
00:56:51,116 --> 00:56:53,368
Try reading him a book, you sack of shit!

1003
00:56:54,703 --> 00:56:55,787
Shit.

1004
00:56:59,207 --> 00:57:00,751
Erutpar!

1005
00:57:54,096 --> 00:57:56,139
Erutpar!

1006
00:58:08,610 --> 00:58:12,155
Let me tell you. Whatever a child
is going through emotionally,

1007
00:58:12,239 --> 00:58:15,951
it's natural for them
to act out in physical ways.

1008
00:58:16,034 --> 00:58:19,913
Please remember,
it is never the child's fault.

1009
00:58:19,997 --> 00:58:23,083
No matter what happens,
it is never the child's fault.

1010
00:58:39,224 --> 00:58:41,601
It was very nice to meet you, Mrs. Bloom.

1011
00:58:41,685 --> 00:58:45,397
Of course, you know, I'm going to keep
a very close eye on you and your family.

1012
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:49,067
- Of course. It's fine.
- Very nice to meet you, too...

1013
00:58:49,151 --> 00:58:51,611
- Wendy.
- Wendy. Yes. You're parked in front of me.

1014
00:58:51,695 --> 00:58:52,779
Oh, I'll be right out.

1015
00:58:53,947 --> 00:58:54,948
Oh!

1016
00:58:59,453 --> 00:59:01,788
What was going on
with that idiot husband of yours?

1017
00:59:01,872 --> 00:59:05,167
No idea. I am so angry, I could scream.

1018
00:59:05,250 --> 00:59:09,004
Oh, it's him.
He must be too scared to come downstairs.

1019
00:59:09,921 --> 00:59:13,091
- Wendy, thank you for your support.
- Of course. Anytime!

1020
00:59:13,175 --> 00:59:16,595
I could not have done it without you.
Get that woman out of my driveway.

1021
00:59:16,678 --> 00:59:18,764
Happily.

1022
00:59:20,307 --> 00:59:22,517
Gary, what on earth are you doing?

1023
00:59:22,601 --> 00:59:26,354
<i>Your evil, freaky,
little son buried me in the backyard!</i>

1024
00:59:26,438 --> 00:59:27,731
Stop yelling, okay?

1025
00:59:27,814 --> 00:59:31,193
- You know I can't understand you when...
<i>- Your evil fucking son...</i>

1026
00:59:32,986 --> 00:59:34,237
Oh...

1027
00:59:42,496 --> 00:59:43,663
Lucas?

1028
00:59:44,331 --> 00:59:45,415
Honey?

1029
00:59:49,336 --> 00:59:50,712
So creative.

1030
00:59:52,839 --> 00:59:54,299
Gary? Where is Lucas?

1031
00:59:54,382 --> 00:59:58,386
<i>Okay, I'm sorry that I yelled before.
I'm getting a little oxygen deprived.</i>

1032
00:59:58,470 --> 00:59:59,805
What? Where are you?

1033
00:59:59,888 --> 01:00:01,098
<i>I'm in the backyard.</i>

1034
01:00:01,181 --> 01:00:04,518
<i>Bring a shovel and come as fast as you can
or I'm gonna die!</i>

1035
01:00:12,359 --> 01:00:15,529
Gary? Lucas?

1036
01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:21,576
That's it!

1037
01:00:21,660 --> 01:00:24,121
Time out, young man!

1038
01:00:34,673 --> 01:00:37,592
Oh, my God, Gary!
Gary, say something! Are you okay?

1039
01:00:37,676 --> 01:00:39,094
I...

1040
01:00:39,177 --> 01:00:40,177
want...

1041
01:00:40,595 --> 01:00:41,595
a divorce!

1042
01:00:41,638 --> 01:00:43,348
Don't say that!

1043
01:00:43,431 --> 01:00:44,933
Get out of there, Gary.

1044
01:00:45,016 --> 01:00:46,893
Oh, can I? Thanks.

1045
01:00:49,479 --> 01:00:52,440
Gary, please don't overreact, okay?

1046
01:00:52,524 --> 01:00:54,818
- I know he didn't mean to...
- He didn't mean to?

1047
01:00:54,901 --> 01:00:56,945
He just wanted you to read him a book!

1048
01:00:57,571 --> 01:00:59,948
I'm pretty sure that's not what he wanted.

1049
01:01:00,031 --> 01:01:03,368
I should have insisted that you two spend
more time together before we got married.

1050
01:01:03,451 --> 01:01:07,706
Oh, yeah, that would have been great,
getting to know him a little bit better.

1051
01:01:07,789 --> 01:01:10,750
You've really outdone yourself, Gary.
Congratulations.

1052
01:01:10,834 --> 01:01:13,670
- I've tried reaching out.
- Tried? You drove him to school.

1053
01:01:13,753 --> 01:01:15,589
You've tried talking to him a few times.

1054
01:01:15,672 --> 01:01:17,841
Excuse me if I didn't buy you
a dad of the year mug.

1055
01:01:17,924 --> 01:01:19,509
He buried me alive, Sam!

1056
01:01:19,593 --> 01:01:23,138
Children act out because they
don't know how to express their emotions.

1057
01:01:23,221 --> 01:01:25,724
You're the adult.
You were supposed to help him.

1058
01:01:25,807 --> 01:01:29,477
But you won't even want to look at my son,
because he's not yours!

1059
01:01:29,561 --> 01:01:31,605
- That is not why.
- Then why?

1060
01:01:31,688 --> 01:01:35,066
Because he's the fucking Antichrist, Sam!

1061
01:01:35,150 --> 01:01:36,484
That's why!

1062
01:01:41,698 --> 01:01:43,992
- Listen to me.
- No.

1063
01:01:44,075 --> 01:01:45,076
Sam!

1064
01:01:48,038 --> 01:01:49,039
Come on, Lucas.

1065
01:01:51,875 --> 01:01:52,875
Sam.

1066
01:02:00,550 --> 01:02:02,052
Oh, great.

1067
01:02:02,135 --> 01:02:04,346
Now it's raining blood, Sam!

1068
01:02:04,429 --> 01:02:06,181
Not cool, Lucas!

1069
01:02:06,264 --> 01:02:07,682
Not cool!

1070
01:02:10,310 --> 01:02:12,604
Fundamentals! Fundamentals!

1071
01:02:12,687 --> 01:02:17,192
It was awful.
Just the whole thing, indescribably awful.

1072
01:02:17,275 --> 01:02:20,195
I know what you mean, man.
We all been there.

1073
01:02:20,278 --> 01:02:21,321
No, you haven't.

1074
01:02:21,404 --> 01:02:22,864
Come on, Jeremy. Eye on the ball.

1075
01:02:23,531 --> 01:02:25,867
That's okay, buddy. There you go!

1076
01:02:26,910 --> 01:02:30,622
Look, I hate to say it, man, but I think
you might actually have to kill the kid.

1077
01:02:30,705 --> 01:02:32,207
No, I can't do it.

1078
01:02:32,290 --> 01:02:33,792
Gregory Peck did it in<i> The Omen.</i>

1079
01:02:33,875 --> 01:02:36,378
No, he didn't.
He got shot before he could do it.

1080
01:02:36,461 --> 01:02:39,965
And I'm pretty sure that everyone thought
he was an awful father after that.

1081
01:02:40,048 --> 01:02:42,384
Well, they already think that
about you, so...

1082
01:02:42,467 --> 01:02:44,719
- What? Who does? Who said that?
- Nobody.

1083
01:02:45,553 --> 01:02:48,265
- Just my wife and all her friends.
- What?

1084
01:02:48,348 --> 01:02:50,934
- The school board...
- Okay. Okay. All right.

1085
01:02:51,017 --> 01:02:54,562
I didn't want to tell you this,
'cause I didn't want you to get jealous.

1086
01:02:55,647 --> 01:02:57,565
But I won the Dad ball this morning.

1087
01:02:58,483 --> 01:03:00,068
- What?
- Isn't that awesome?

1088
01:03:03,238 --> 01:03:06,074
Yeah. That's awesome.

1089
01:03:06,157 --> 01:03:08,785
It made me realize
that there's a lot to live for.

1090
01:03:08,868 --> 01:03:10,996
A lot of innocent people
are gonna go to hell.

1091
01:03:11,079 --> 01:03:14,124
- I know, I know.
- Maybe not totally innocent, but people!

1092
01:03:14,207 --> 01:03:15,875
- That's not cool!
- Okay. All right.

1093
01:03:18,003 --> 01:03:20,547
You know, you don't have to make it
look like you did it.

1094
01:03:20,630 --> 01:03:22,549
You could take him
to King Willie's Water Park.

1095
01:03:22,966 --> 01:03:27,679
Get him some floaties, fill 'em with sand,
push him down that big-ass slide.

1096
01:03:28,430 --> 01:03:31,224
Nature's gonna take its course.
That shit happens all the time.

1097
01:03:31,308 --> 01:03:34,311
- That place is a safety hazard.
- It has to be on hallowed ground.

1098
01:03:34,394 --> 01:03:38,315
I'm pretty sure that the water park
is hallowed ground. The pope blessed it.

1099
01:03:38,398 --> 01:03:40,525
Sam's never gonna let me
near him again anyway.

1100
01:03:40,608 --> 01:03:42,819
Go over there,
bring her some flowers, man.

1101
01:03:43,361 --> 01:03:46,114
Tell her you're sorry
that you called her kid the Antichrist.

1102
01:03:46,197 --> 01:03:49,576
I do that shit all the time.
Sometimes, he deserves it.

1103
01:03:49,659 --> 01:03:51,411
Marsupials!

1104
01:04:05,050 --> 01:04:06,468
- Hey.
- Hey.

1105
01:04:08,845 --> 01:04:12,724
I am... really sorry about what I said.

1106
01:04:12,807 --> 01:04:15,352
You said some awful things. Awful things.

1107
01:04:15,435 --> 01:04:17,812
I want to turn this around, Sam.
I really do.

1108
01:04:17,896 --> 01:04:21,691
I want to be the man, the father,
that I know I can be.

1109
01:04:22,275 --> 01:04:23,777
I know it's his birthday today,

1110
01:04:23,860 --> 01:04:27,197
and I'd love if I could just have
a little father-son time with him.

1111
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:28,740
Maybe teach him to swim?

1112
01:04:50,887 --> 01:04:53,139
Lucas doesn't know how to swim.

1113
01:04:54,974 --> 01:04:58,686
Well, that's what we're here for, Reeroy,
to teach Lucas how to swim.

1114
01:04:59,979 --> 01:05:01,648
Ready to go up that big one there?

1115
01:05:03,942 --> 01:05:05,026
Okay, how about this?

1116
01:05:05,110 --> 01:05:07,654
How about we, uh, go play around,
work up our courage?

1117
01:05:07,737 --> 01:05:08,988
Sound good, Reeroy?

1118
01:05:09,531 --> 01:05:12,492
All right. Don't worry, buddy.
We'll have a blast. Okay?

1119
01:05:12,575 --> 01:05:13,952
Let's go.

1120
01:05:14,828 --> 01:05:19,791
<i>♪ I can see clearly now
The rain is gone ♪</i>

1121
01:05:22,627 --> 01:05:27,757
<i>♪ I can see all obstacles in my way ♪</i>

1122
01:05:30,844 --> 01:05:35,473
<i>♪ Gone are the dark clouds
That had me blind ♪</i>

1123
01:05:36,182 --> 01:05:39,144
<i>- ♪ It's gonna be a bright ♪
- ♪ Bright ♪</i>

1124
01:05:39,227 --> 01:05:40,270
<i>- ♪ Bright ♪
- ♪ Bright ♪</i>

1125
01:05:40,353 --> 01:05:42,272
<i>♪ Sunshine-y day ♪</i>

1126
01:05:44,315 --> 01:05:47,235
<i>- ♪ It's gonna be a bright ♪
- ♪ Bright... ♪</i>

1127
01:05:47,318 --> 01:05:52,157
Oh, I'm dodging. I'm dodging.
Oh! Oh! Oh!

1128
01:05:52,240 --> 01:05:53,867
That's it! That's it!

1129
01:05:54,868 --> 01:05:57,704
I got you. Oh, I got you.

1130
01:05:57,787 --> 01:05:59,247
Oh, my God, are you laughing?

1131
01:05:59,914 --> 01:06:01,958
I don't think
I've ever seen you laugh before.

1132
01:06:07,589 --> 01:06:10,633
Aw, you and your son
look really cute together.

1133
01:06:11,676 --> 01:06:13,946
- Do you want me to take a picture?
- No, that's all right.

1134
01:06:13,970 --> 01:06:15,221
Really? It's no problem.

1135
01:06:16,055 --> 01:06:17,515
Sure. Yeah. Why not?

1136
01:06:18,141 --> 01:06:19,142
There you go.

1137
01:06:20,435 --> 01:06:21,978
Okay, lean in a little closer.

1138
01:06:23,354 --> 01:06:24,689
A little closer.

1139
01:06:28,485 --> 01:06:29,527
Great.

1140
01:06:30,195 --> 01:06:31,905
- There you go.
- Thanks.

1141
01:06:45,793 --> 01:06:48,046
Lucas is ready for the big slide now.

1142
01:06:49,005 --> 01:06:52,217
Are you sure? You know what?
We actually don't...

1143
01:07:15,532 --> 01:07:18,826
All right, listen, Lucas,
these are gonna help you float.

1144
01:07:18,910 --> 01:07:19,827
Hurry it up!

1145
01:07:19,911 --> 01:07:21,996
We're gonna be one minute.
It's his first time.

1146
01:07:23,206 --> 01:07:26,125
I know these feel heavy, Lucas,
but once they hit the water,

1147
01:07:26,209 --> 01:07:28,545
they're just gonna get much lighter, okay?

1148
01:07:32,632 --> 01:07:33,632
Listen to me.

1149
01:07:34,425 --> 01:07:35,593
You don't have to do this.

1150
01:07:35,677 --> 01:07:38,179
- Come on already!
- I told you he's not ready!

1151
01:07:38,263 --> 01:07:40,431
Do you understand? Oh!

1152
01:07:40,515 --> 01:07:41,641
Whoa!

1153
01:07:42,892 --> 01:07:44,352
Oh, no. Oh, my God.

1154
01:07:44,435 --> 01:07:46,604
What the hell am I doing?
Oh, what the hell?

1155
01:07:46,688 --> 01:07:48,314
God, I don't know if you're real.

1156
01:07:48,398 --> 01:07:51,526
If you are, you probably hate me,
but you gotta give me a sign here.

1157
01:07:51,609 --> 01:07:53,069
You gotta give me a sign.

1158
01:07:53,152 --> 01:07:54,529
You gotta give me a sign.

1159
01:07:54,612 --> 01:07:56,906
Give me a sign. Give me a sign.

1160
01:08:00,785 --> 01:08:03,538
Oh, my God, that's it.
That's it! That's it!

1161
01:08:04,872 --> 01:08:06,207
Lucas!

1162
01:08:06,291 --> 01:08:08,334
It is a pretty sweet waterslide.

1163
01:08:10,295 --> 01:08:11,295
Lucas!

1164
01:08:41,326 --> 01:08:42,869
Oh, my God, Lucas!

1165
01:08:42,952 --> 01:08:45,413
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

1166
01:08:45,496 --> 01:08:46,623
Oh.

1167
01:08:46,706 --> 01:08:49,334
Oh, I'm never taking
my eyes off you again. Okay?

1168
01:08:49,417 --> 01:08:51,336
- Okay.
- Okay.

1169
01:08:51,419 --> 01:08:52,754
I promise.

1170
01:08:52,837 --> 01:08:54,088
Oh, my God.

1171
01:08:55,089 --> 01:08:58,384
You okay?

1172
01:08:58,468 --> 01:09:00,386
- You want to do it again?
- No.

1173
01:09:00,470 --> 01:09:03,222
Okay. Yeah. Me neither.

1174
01:09:08,728 --> 01:09:10,730
I'm sorry we lost Reeroy...

1175
01:09:11,648 --> 01:09:13,358
your evil goat puppet.

1176
01:09:15,068 --> 01:09:16,986
We'll find you another one, all right?

1177
01:09:20,198 --> 01:09:21,198
Gary.

1178
01:09:24,827 --> 01:09:28,623
- Yes, Lucas?
- I'm sorry I buried you in the backyard.

1179
01:09:30,416 --> 01:09:32,001
That's all right, I get it.

1180
01:09:33,628 --> 01:09:35,296
Sorry I put sand in your floaties.

1181
01:09:36,047 --> 01:09:38,633
That's okay. I get it.

1182
01:09:40,343 --> 01:09:43,554
I guess I haven't been
a very good stepdad, have I?

1183
01:09:44,555 --> 01:09:46,182
You're still here.

1184
01:09:51,104 --> 01:09:55,400
Uh... Lucas, can I tell you something?
Something I've never told anyone?

1185
01:09:56,567 --> 01:09:59,862
Did you know that
I never knew my father growing up?

1186
01:10:00,780 --> 01:10:02,532
He split on me when I was just a baby.

1187
01:10:03,741 --> 01:10:08,413
So, when I was 20 years old,
I decided to go find him.

1188
01:10:09,622 --> 01:10:10,998
And when I finally did,

1189
01:10:11,082 --> 01:10:16,546
he told me that I was a worthless loser
who would never do anything with his life.

1190
01:10:19,465 --> 01:10:20,883
You know what I decided?

1191
01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:24,178
That I didn't have to listen to my dad.

1192
01:10:26,097 --> 01:10:28,933
You know, Lucas,
I don't care who your real dad is

1193
01:10:29,016 --> 01:10:33,730
or if you were spawned from a cult ritual.
You are you.

1194
01:10:35,565 --> 01:10:38,776
And you can be
whoever you want to be, okay?

1195
01:10:42,947 --> 01:10:43,947
Daddy?

1196
01:10:46,159 --> 01:10:47,618
Yeah, Lucas?

1197
01:10:47,702 --> 01:10:49,829
I don't want you to die anymore.

1198
01:10:50,496 --> 01:10:52,331
I don't want you to die anymore, either.

1199
01:10:52,415 --> 01:10:56,669
And you're right. My real dad
isn't a really good influence on me.

1200
01:10:57,795 --> 01:10:59,338
No, I don't think he is.

1201
01:11:01,591 --> 01:11:04,969
Hold on. Do you... know your real dad?

1202
01:11:05,052 --> 01:11:08,890
Well, sometimes he talks to me
through my toys and the TV.

1203
01:11:08,973 --> 01:11:12,435
That's a really good reason
to limit your TV time.

1204
01:11:12,518 --> 01:11:16,731
And he said he wants full "custoty."

1205
01:11:16,814 --> 01:11:18,649
Do you know what that means?

1206
01:11:19,567 --> 01:11:21,360
Yeah. Yeah, it's not good.

1207
01:11:21,444 --> 01:11:24,697
Listen, your mom and I
will never let that happen.

1208
01:11:24,781 --> 01:11:26,783
Do you understand? I promise.

1209
01:11:29,786 --> 01:11:31,120
It's an Amber Alert.

1210
01:11:33,164 --> 01:11:34,832
Wait, that's my license.

1211
01:11:36,959 --> 01:11:37,960
Shit.

1212
01:11:38,044 --> 01:11:41,130
Lucas, finish your ice cream.
We got to go.

1213
01:11:44,175 --> 01:11:45,510
- Hands in the air!
- Okay.

1214
01:11:45,593 --> 01:11:46,928
- What did I do?
- Keep 'em up!

1215
01:11:47,011 --> 01:11:49,472
You can go to hell!

1216
01:11:49,555 --> 01:11:52,475
Don't say that to the officers!
We're working on our manners.

1217
01:11:52,558 --> 01:11:53,810
Arms behind your back.

1218
01:11:53,893 --> 01:11:56,312
Officer, I think there's a mistake,
I'm his step...

1219
01:11:56,896 --> 01:11:58,731
Ow! What are you doing?

1220
01:12:00,316 --> 01:12:04,654
My, my, my, my, my.
What a scene. What a scene.

1221
01:12:04,737 --> 01:12:07,073
Thank you, officers. A job very well done.

1222
01:12:07,156 --> 01:12:09,408
- The boy is safe now.
- What are you doing here?

1223
01:12:09,492 --> 01:12:11,702
We told you we were gonna
keep an eye on you.

1224
01:12:11,786 --> 01:12:15,081
Oh, Mr. Bloom, you've disappointed us.
We thought you were the one.

1225
01:12:15,748 --> 01:12:17,625
"We"? Who... Who's "we"?

1226
01:12:17,708 --> 01:12:19,919
You come with me now, sweet pea.

1227
01:12:20,002 --> 01:12:24,048
- The reverend will be so glad to see you.
- I don't want to!

1228
01:12:24,131 --> 01:12:26,926
The reverend? No. You can't take him!
He's just a child!

1229
01:12:27,009 --> 01:12:31,848
Sure he is. And I'm just a sweet little
old lady who evolved from an amoeba.

1230
01:12:31,931 --> 01:12:34,058
- Get in the car.
- No, you can't do this!

1231
01:12:36,561 --> 01:12:37,770
Daddy!

1232
01:12:37,854 --> 01:12:39,313
Daddy, help!

1233
01:12:39,397 --> 01:12:41,440
- Daddy!
- I'm coming to get you, buddy.

1234
01:12:41,524 --> 01:12:44,318
- Come on, get in the car.
- Lucas!

1235
01:12:52,910 --> 01:12:56,455
All right, back up. Come on, back it up.

1236
01:12:58,457 --> 01:13:00,251
Holy fuck!

1237
01:13:15,099 --> 01:13:16,100
Hi, Gar.

1238
01:13:16,183 --> 01:13:18,769
<i>Hey, it's me. They took Lucas.</i>

1239
01:13:20,938 --> 01:13:23,482
- Who took Lucas?
- The CPS lady.

1240
01:13:23,566 --> 01:13:26,402
But it's not my fault, I swear.
Now, look...

1241
01:13:27,028 --> 01:13:29,989
She's taking him to the reverend,
who I think is a cult leader.

1242
01:13:30,072 --> 01:13:33,451
<i>Okay, and they think that Lucas is evil,
which m-may or may not be true,</i>

1243
01:13:33,534 --> 01:13:36,579
because, let's face it, in life,
he's gonna make his own choices,

1244
01:13:36,662 --> 01:13:37,997
no matter who his father is.

1245
01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:40,291
Gary, you don't know
what you're talking about.

1246
01:13:40,374 --> 01:13:42,793
I'm talking about free will, Sam!

1247
01:13:42,877 --> 01:13:46,339
And I'm talking about him being able
to be whoever he wants to be.

1248
01:13:46,422 --> 01:13:50,843
Now, look, I need you to call the police
and settle just a minor Amber Alert.

1249
01:13:53,596 --> 01:13:55,264
Hello, my dear. Time to go.

1250
01:13:55,848 --> 01:13:58,100
- I am not going anywhere with you.
- Sam?

1251
01:13:59,477 --> 01:14:01,604
Samantha?

1252
01:14:01,687 --> 01:14:02,772
No!

1253
01:14:02,855 --> 01:14:03,916
- Take her to the car.
- Gary!

1254
01:14:03,940 --> 01:14:05,983
- Sam!
- Gary!

1255
01:14:06,067 --> 01:14:09,362
No! No! No!

1256
01:14:09,445 --> 01:14:12,865
She's feisty. Find the knife.
It's here somewhere.

1257
01:14:13,449 --> 01:14:15,576
<i>Sam? Samantha?!</i>

1258
01:14:16,410 --> 01:14:17,912
Sam? Shit!

1259
01:14:22,500 --> 01:14:25,670
Hey. Hey. Psst. You!

1260
01:14:26,671 --> 01:14:28,315
No, I can't be quiet.
You have to come here.

1261
01:14:28,339 --> 01:14:30,883
Open this door. Right now! Come on!

1262
01:14:32,218 --> 01:14:33,302
Come...

1263
01:14:34,762 --> 01:14:36,597
Hey, you gotta open this door.

1264
01:14:36,681 --> 01:14:39,058
Okay? My son's in trouble.
I have to save him.

1265
01:14:39,141 --> 01:14:42,019
Come on! Open the door! Right now! Please!

1266
01:14:46,148 --> 01:14:47,942
Holy shit. Thank you.

1267
01:14:50,027 --> 01:14:53,322
I gotta go, but I owe you one. Okay?

1268
01:14:56,325 --> 01:14:57,618
Save the child.

1269
01:14:57,702 --> 01:14:59,412
He is our only hope.

1270
01:15:13,134 --> 01:15:15,720
- You can do this!
- Don't give up!

1271
01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:37,992
Hey. Hey, hi!

1272
01:15:38,075 --> 01:15:40,661
Jeremy, what's up?
Is your dad around, by any chance?

1273
01:15:40,745 --> 01:15:43,539
No, my dad left so he could
bang hot women and get high.

1274
01:15:43,622 --> 01:15:45,249
Okay. How about your stepdad?

1275
01:15:45,875 --> 01:15:48,753
- Thanks, buddy. Gar, what's up?
- Hey. Good to see you.

1276
01:15:48,836 --> 01:15:49,962
Um...

1277
01:15:50,046 --> 01:15:52,298
- Listen, can you help me saw these off?
- Shit.

1278
01:15:52,381 --> 01:15:54,902
- They're uncomfortable.
- I been meaning to talk to you anyway.

1279
01:15:54,967 --> 01:15:56,427
Let's hit the man cave pronto.

1280
01:16:03,350 --> 01:16:04,643
Check this out.

1281
01:16:05,478 --> 01:16:09,023
It seems to say that the evil child
is not Satan himself,

1282
01:16:09,106 --> 01:16:10,399
but a portal to Satan.

1283
01:16:10,941 --> 01:16:13,819
And that by killing him,
that portal will open,

1284
01:16:13,903 --> 01:16:16,280
and the real Satan
can then enter his body,

1285
01:16:16,363 --> 01:16:18,032
and the end of the world will ensue.

1286
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:21,744
That's what he was saying about
his real father wanting full custody.

1287
01:16:21,827 --> 01:16:23,496
Shit, dude, that's never good.

1288
01:16:24,205 --> 01:16:27,500
Those guys, Gozamel and the reverend,
they wanted me to kill Lucas.

1289
01:16:27,583 --> 01:16:29,960
Right, to bring on the apocalypse.

1290
01:16:30,044 --> 01:16:32,925
- But now that you dropped that ball...
- They're gonna do it themselves.

1291
01:16:33,130 --> 01:16:35,341
- But they have to do it...
- On hallowed ground.

1292
01:16:35,424 --> 01:16:37,968
- Yeah.
- If we knew where that was, we could...

1293
01:16:38,052 --> 01:16:41,180
The nunnery. Al, the nunnery.
That's why the reverend bought it.

1294
01:16:41,263 --> 01:16:44,058
He's gonna have, like,
a blowout party, sacrifice Lucas

1295
01:16:44,141 --> 01:16:45,601
and open up the doors of hell.

1296
01:16:47,186 --> 01:16:48,771
Doesn't parenting suck?

1297
01:16:48,854 --> 01:16:49,980
Yes!

1298
01:16:50,564 --> 01:16:52,233
The place is basically a fortress.

1299
01:16:52,316 --> 01:16:54,318
There's no way we're gonna be able
to get in there.

1300
01:16:56,278 --> 01:16:58,359
- What are you doing?
- It takes a village, you know?

1301
01:16:58,989 --> 01:17:00,908
But how are we gonna get in there?

1302
01:17:00,991 --> 01:17:05,037
They say there's a reason for everything,
don't they? I think I found my reason.

1303
01:17:10,334 --> 01:17:12,920
<i>♪ A modern day warrior
Mean, mean stride ♪</i>

1304
01:17:13,003 --> 01:17:15,923
<i>♪ Today's Tom Sawyer
Mean, mean pride ♪</i>

1305
01:17:26,976 --> 01:17:29,186
Whoa, that's a big truck.

1306
01:17:29,270 --> 01:17:31,730
- No, it's a small truck.
- With big tires.

1307
01:17:31,814 --> 01:17:34,608
- Is this vehicle equipped with airbags?
- Let's ride, bitches!

1308
01:17:39,321 --> 01:17:43,117
<i>♪ Though his mind is not for rent
Don't put him down as arrogant ♪</i>

1309
01:17:43,200 --> 01:17:45,411
- Al, can you go any faster?
- Hang on!

1310
01:18:15,357 --> 01:18:18,027
Did you really think
you could hide from me...

1311
01:18:18,611 --> 01:18:22,615
go off and marry some fool
and try to forget?

1312
01:18:28,120 --> 01:18:30,164
This is your destiny.

1313
01:18:35,085 --> 01:18:37,963
The end is our destiny!

1314
01:18:42,426 --> 01:18:43,510
Oh!

1315
01:18:44,929 --> 01:18:46,305
Oh, fuck!

1316
01:18:46,847 --> 01:18:50,142
Turn off the vehicle.
Come out with your hands in the air.

1317
01:18:50,226 --> 01:18:51,435
What the shit is that?

1318
01:18:51,518 --> 01:18:54,563
Okay, there may be a bit of
an Amber Alert out on me,

1319
01:18:54,647 --> 01:18:56,357
but it's a mistake, I swear.

1320
01:18:56,440 --> 01:18:59,485
Can I say at this point?
I think we might be doing something wrong.

1321
01:18:59,568 --> 01:19:01,779
We're not doing anything wrong. Okay?

1322
01:19:01,862 --> 01:19:04,990
And Lucas, he's not Satan.
He's just a portal to Satan.

1323
01:19:05,074 --> 01:19:08,118
And good parenting,
it's about keeping that portal shut.

1324
01:19:09,078 --> 01:19:10,120
Man, that's so true.

1325
01:19:10,204 --> 01:19:11,247
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1326
01:19:11,330 --> 01:19:13,415
Those guys, they can't stop us.

1327
01:19:13,499 --> 01:19:15,042
Nobody can stop us.

1328
01:19:15,125 --> 01:19:16,335
You know why?

1329
01:19:17,002 --> 01:19:18,337
Because this is my destiny.

1330
01:19:18,420 --> 01:19:20,923
- I'm with you 100%, man!
- Yeah, me too!

1331
01:19:21,006 --> 01:19:22,967
So you're sure
we're doing the right thing?

1332
01:19:23,050 --> 01:19:24,843
- Yeah! Yes, we are.
- Yes!

1333
01:19:24,927 --> 01:19:26,553
Let's go blow up that nunnery!

1334
01:19:26,637 --> 01:19:27,637
- Yeah!
- Ah!

1335
01:19:27,680 --> 01:19:31,350
- Al? Do you think we can make it?
- Are you kidding me, bro? Hold on!

1336
01:19:42,194 --> 01:19:43,445
Fuck!

1337
01:19:54,331 --> 01:19:56,000
Brothers and sisters,

1338
01:19:57,793 --> 01:20:01,797
the time has come
to revel in the glory of the rapture.

1339
01:20:01,880 --> 01:20:02,965
Behold.

1340
01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:05,342
He who knows no bounds to evil.

1341
01:20:06,510 --> 01:20:08,971
The one, the only...

1342
01:20:09,638 --> 01:20:10,764
the Antichrist!

1343
01:20:18,522 --> 01:20:19,982
- Fuck!
- Don't stop. Keep going!

1344
01:20:20,065 --> 01:20:21,900
Dude, I'm not stopping for anything, man!

1345
01:20:23,652 --> 01:20:25,696
- The fence! The fence! The fence!
- Whoa! Whoa!

1346
01:20:30,617 --> 01:20:33,054
- We don't have much time!
- Gozer said it has to happen by six.

1347
01:20:33,078 --> 01:20:34,705
We've got five minutes!

1348
01:20:37,875 --> 01:20:39,335
- It's locked, guys.
- Fuck!

1349
01:20:39,418 --> 01:20:41,628
There's a window!
We can break it and go through it.

1350
01:20:41,712 --> 01:20:43,964
Come on, give it a try!

1351
01:20:45,382 --> 01:20:48,719
- Get up. Put it up.
- Come on. Come on!

1352
01:20:48,802 --> 01:20:50,721
- Put it up.
- All right, higher.

1353
01:20:50,804 --> 01:20:51,847
Guys, I have the key.

1354
01:20:52,598 --> 01:20:55,142
Guys, I'm a real estate agent.
I have the key!

1355
01:20:56,393 --> 01:20:57,770
I'm the Keymaster.

1356
01:20:58,270 --> 01:21:00,564
- Well, then open the door, dipshit.
- Okay.

1357
01:21:03,359 --> 01:21:04,359
Ah...

1358
01:21:04,610 --> 01:21:05,610
Okay, got it.

1359
01:21:08,530 --> 01:21:11,784
- Come on, let's go!
- Go, go, go!

1360
01:21:11,867 --> 01:21:15,454
You! You were never meant to be the one...

1361
01:21:17,247 --> 01:21:18,665
Nice punch, Gary.

1362
01:21:18,749 --> 01:21:21,460
Yeah, you really laid out
that very tiny woman.

1363
01:21:21,543 --> 01:21:23,420
Maybe take it easy on the old ladies, huh?

1364
01:21:23,504 --> 01:21:25,589
- Big Guy might be watching.
- Come on, guys.

1365
01:21:31,387 --> 01:21:32,513
Or not.

1366
01:21:39,520 --> 01:21:40,604
Guys.

1367
01:21:53,575 --> 01:21:55,619
The time is close, my son.

1368
01:21:56,662 --> 01:21:58,497
Yours is the greatest sacrifice.

1369
01:22:00,416 --> 01:22:02,626
You are but a vessel for greatness!

1370
01:22:03,627 --> 01:22:07,047
Kill the child!
Kill the child! Kill the child!

1371
01:22:07,131 --> 01:22:09,550
Kill the child! Kill the child!

1372
01:22:29,445 --> 01:22:31,530
- Hey. Psst.
- Get away from me!

1373
01:22:32,364 --> 01:22:34,867
It's me.

1374
01:22:36,201 --> 01:22:38,245
- What are you doing?
- We're here to save you.

1375
01:22:38,328 --> 01:22:40,539
- Get up there and do something.
- Right.

1376
01:22:40,622 --> 01:22:41,957
The time has come!

1377
01:22:42,040 --> 01:22:44,918
- Ten, nine, eight...
- They're gonna kill him, Gar!

1378
01:22:45,002 --> 01:22:46,879
- Seven, six.
- Heads up.

1379
01:22:46,962 --> 01:22:48,839
Five, four...

1380
01:22:48,922 --> 01:22:51,925
- It's all up to you now, buddy.
- Three, two, one!

1381
01:22:52,009 --> 01:22:54,511
The time has come
to open the gates of hell!

1382
01:22:56,263 --> 01:22:57,681
Gary, now!

1383
01:23:06,607 --> 01:23:07,441
Oh, my God.

1384
01:23:07,524 --> 01:23:09,443
Go, go, go, go, go!

1385
01:23:10,777 --> 01:23:13,322
- Get away!
- No, look! It's us!

1386
01:23:13,405 --> 01:23:14,698
We met at the party.

1387
01:23:14,781 --> 01:23:15,866
- I'm Larry.
- Al?

1388
01:23:15,949 --> 01:23:17,451
- It's us.
- It was, like, a Tuesday.

1389
01:23:18,744 --> 01:23:19,912
You messing with my boy?

1390
01:23:19,995 --> 01:23:23,332
Because you mess with my boy,
you mess with me!

1391
01:23:24,416 --> 01:23:28,587
As for the rest of you,
you should be ashamed of yourselves.

1392
01:23:28,670 --> 01:23:29,671
Really, all of you.

1393
01:23:29,755 --> 01:23:33,926
I think you need to do
some real soul searching.

1394
01:23:34,927 --> 01:23:39,348
Look yourselves in the mirror and say,
"Is this who I really want..."

1395
01:23:39,431 --> 01:23:40,474
Oh, shit.

1396
01:23:40,557 --> 01:23:43,143
"to... be...?"

1397
01:23:44,019 --> 01:23:45,145
Oh, shit.

1398
01:23:45,854 --> 01:23:47,397
Hey, Lucas?

1399
01:23:48,440 --> 01:23:49,691
You okay, buddy?

1400
01:24:07,876 --> 01:24:09,169
Lucas!

1401
01:24:09,670 --> 01:24:10,670
Lucas!

1402
01:24:12,172 --> 01:24:13,172
Lucas!

1403
01:24:19,096 --> 01:24:21,139
I got you, buddy! I got you!

1404
01:24:22,391 --> 01:24:24,226
Let me go!

1405
01:24:24,309 --> 01:24:27,020
- No!
- You must let me go!

1406
01:24:27,104 --> 01:24:28,897
No! I won't!

1407
01:24:31,567 --> 01:24:33,735
- Daddy?
- Yes, Lucas?

1408
01:24:34,861 --> 01:24:36,071
I'm scared.

1409
01:24:36,738 --> 01:24:38,156
Don't be scared, sweetie.

1410
01:24:39,241 --> 01:24:43,704
- I got you.
- Let him go!

1411
01:24:51,628 --> 01:24:54,840
Okay, maybe a little fear
is totally justified,

1412
01:24:54,923 --> 01:24:56,550
but I'm not letting you go!

1413
01:24:56,633 --> 01:24:58,010
I'm never letting go, buddy!

1414
01:24:58,093 --> 01:25:01,096
- Why?
- Because I'm your father!

1415
01:25:01,179 --> 01:25:02,723
And I love you!

1416
01:25:02,806 --> 01:25:05,684
You're his stepfather!

1417
01:25:15,569 --> 01:25:16,862
I'm not leaving you!

1418
01:25:27,873 --> 01:25:29,166
Fuck!

1419
01:25:30,542 --> 01:25:31,710
Oh, my God.

1420
01:25:31,793 --> 01:25:33,545
- You okay?
- Yeah.

1421
01:25:34,421 --> 01:25:35,881
- Gary.
- Gary.

1422
01:25:42,346 --> 01:25:43,346
Lucas!

1423
01:25:45,098 --> 01:25:46,141
Gary!

1424
01:25:48,977 --> 01:25:51,730
- I'm sorry.
- I'm so sorry.

1425
01:26:00,530 --> 01:26:01,530
Oh, my God!

1426
01:26:03,700 --> 01:26:05,077
- Help him up!
- Come on.

1427
01:26:05,160 --> 01:26:06,578
- Easy.
- All right.

1428
01:26:10,415 --> 01:26:11,541
Let him breathe.

1429
01:26:11,625 --> 01:26:13,919
That's some Indiana Jones shit, dawg.

1430
01:26:14,419 --> 01:26:17,297
Holy shit. Oh, my God.

1431
01:26:17,381 --> 01:26:20,008
He's probably got minor scrapes,
but you know...

1432
01:26:20,467 --> 01:26:23,053
- It's 'cause of us. It's 'cause of us.
- We did good.

1433
01:26:23,136 --> 01:26:27,099
Hon, you told me when you're a parent,
you hope for the best,

1434
01:26:27,182 --> 01:26:28,475
but prepare for the worst.

1435
01:26:28,558 --> 01:26:30,727
- Yeah.
- Please tell me that was it.

1436
01:26:32,104 --> 01:26:34,064
You did it.

1437
01:26:34,147 --> 01:26:35,941
You really came through for us.

1438
01:26:36,775 --> 01:26:38,026
You're the one, baby.

1439
01:26:38,735 --> 01:26:40,028
You were always the one.

1440
01:26:40,612 --> 01:26:41,697
I love you.

1441
01:26:45,867 --> 01:26:47,035
I love you, too.

1442
01:26:49,663 --> 01:26:51,944
I wish I had a bonding moment
like this with my son.

1443
01:26:53,166 --> 01:26:55,794
- Not exactly like this.
- A milkshake with two straws.

1444
01:26:55,877 --> 01:26:58,678
No, I know, a Little League game,
like, a ball game or something.

1445
01:26:58,755 --> 01:26:59,589
I mean, there was fucking...

1446
01:26:59,715 --> 01:27:01,383
The child must die!

1447
01:27:01,466 --> 01:27:02,718
- Mom!
- Come on.

1448
01:27:06,388 --> 01:27:09,099
Oh, shit!

1449
01:27:09,558 --> 01:27:11,852
Don't ever fuck with my kid again!

1450
01:27:12,436 --> 01:27:13,812
- Okay.
- That's bad-ass.

1451
01:27:13,895 --> 01:27:17,065
They both punch really well, like,
when people run up to them in churches.

1452
01:27:17,149 --> 01:27:19,229
Can we get out of here?
I just wanna get out of here.

1453
01:27:20,026 --> 01:27:21,027
Yeah.

1454
01:27:21,111 --> 01:27:22,821
- I think we go.
- Okay, let's go.

1455
01:27:23,572 --> 01:27:26,700
Let's go, guys.
Come on. Tomorrow's a new day.

1456
01:27:26,783 --> 01:27:28,184
- Yeah.
- Oh, boy.

1457
01:27:28,785 --> 01:27:30,386
You know, this might sound weird,

1458
01:27:30,454 --> 01:27:33,915
but I think maybe
we should go get some ice cream.

1459
01:27:33,999 --> 01:27:36,084
I still have my kid's backpack
in my trunk.

1460
01:27:36,168 --> 01:27:38,420
We go get ice cream,
and then all shit in it.

1461
01:27:38,503 --> 01:27:41,631
- I can shit in your backpack now.
- Yeah, sure, why not?

1462
01:27:41,715 --> 01:27:44,634
I already shit my pants, though.
I don't know if I have any left.

1463
01:27:59,274 --> 01:28:00,650
All right, you guys are up next.

1464
01:28:00,734 --> 01:28:02,861
- No, no, no. We're not ready.
- Yes, we are.

1465
01:28:02,944 --> 01:28:05,572
- Dad, we're fine.
- Okay, best of luck to both you guys.

1466
01:28:06,239 --> 01:28:09,868
Lucas, we are not ready yet.
I haven't adjusted the steering column.

1467
01:28:09,951 --> 01:28:12,329
- The brakes...
- Stop worrying, okay?

1468
01:28:12,412 --> 01:28:15,415
- Okay. All right.
- You just have to trust me.

1469
01:28:15,499 --> 01:28:16,500
I trust you.

1470
01:28:16,583 --> 01:28:18,960
- And I'm driving.
- What?

1471
01:28:19,044 --> 01:28:21,213
No, no, no. You can't drive. You're six.

1472
01:28:22,881 --> 01:28:25,801
All right, just don't turn too hard
in either direction, okay?

1473
01:28:25,884 --> 01:28:27,469
Just try to keep it steady.

1474
01:28:27,552 --> 01:28:29,137
Whoa!

1475
01:28:29,221 --> 01:28:31,389
Look at the cool design on that one!

1476
01:28:31,473 --> 01:28:34,643
I'm not gonna lie, man.
That's pretty fucking rad, bro!

1477
01:28:34,726 --> 01:28:36,311
- There they go! Let's go!
- Shit!

1478
01:28:36,895 --> 01:28:39,981
- Hey! Who wants it more, baby?
- Go defense!

1479
01:28:40,065 --> 01:28:42,108
Go, Gary! Go, Lucas!

1480
01:28:43,443 --> 01:28:45,445
Not too much! Back the other way!

1481
01:28:46,321 --> 01:28:49,950
Hang on, Dad.
Things are just about to get interesting.

1482
01:28:50,033 --> 01:28:52,327
- Lucas! Lucas!
- Yeah!

1483
01:28:59,918 --> 01:29:03,797
<i>♪ Walk right in
All you sinners and saints ♪</i>

1484
01:29:03,880 --> 01:29:07,384
<i>♪ Tonight's the night
We're gonna take off these chains ♪</i>

1485
01:29:07,467 --> 01:29:09,386
<i>♪ Some wounds ♪</i>

1486
01:29:09,469 --> 01:29:12,639
<i>♪ Will never mend ♪</i>

1487
01:29:15,851 --> 01:29:19,688
<i>♪ It came with a warning
Now we're all out of time ♪</i>

1488
01:29:19,771 --> 01:29:23,567
<i>♪ This romance with ignorance
Has left us behind ♪</i>

1489
01:29:23,650 --> 01:29:24,901
<i>♪ Sit back ♪</i>

1490
01:29:25,569 --> 01:29:28,864
<i>♪ Relax, begin ♪</i>

1491
01:29:31,575 --> 01:29:33,743
<i>♪ It's too early for surrender ♪</i>

1492
01:29:33,827 --> 01:29:35,787
<i>♪ Too late for a prayer ♪</i>

1493
01:29:35,871 --> 01:29:39,708
<i>♪ We can't go to hell
If we're already there ♪</i>

1494
01:29:39,791 --> 01:29:41,793
<i>♪ They say the end is coming ♪</i>

1495
01:29:41,876 --> 01:29:43,753
<i>♪ And I need to prepare ♪</i>

1496
01:29:43,837 --> 01:29:47,799
<i>♪ We can't go to Hell
If we're already there ♪</i>

1497
01:29:55,473 --> 01:29:59,853
<i>♪ It's no mystery, what can I say?
We're blind by design ♪</i>

1498
01:29:59,936 --> 01:30:03,356
<i>♪ And history keeps getting paid
To change its mind ♪</i>

1499
01:30:03,440 --> 01:30:05,358
<i>♪ Some wounds ♪</i>

1500
01:30:05,442 --> 01:30:08,653
<i>♪ Will never mend ♪</i>

1501
01:30:11,698 --> 01:30:15,869
<i>♪ Divided by deception
But together we must rise ♪</i>

1502
01:30:15,952 --> 01:30:19,205
<i>♪ Deafened by the naive
While we silence the wise ♪</i>

1503
01:30:19,289 --> 01:30:21,416
<i>♪ So sit back ♪</i>

1504
01:30:21,499 --> 01:30:24,502
<i>♪ Relax, begin ♪</i>

1505
01:30:27,422 --> 01:30:29,633
<i>♪ It's too early for surrender ♪</i>

1506
01:30:29,716 --> 01:30:31,718
<i>♪ Too late for a prayer ♪</i>

1507
01:30:31,801 --> 01:30:35,680
<i>♪ We can't go to hell
If we're already there ♪</i>

1508
01:30:35,764 --> 01:30:37,682
<i>♪ They say the end is coming ♪</i>

1509
01:30:37,766 --> 01:30:39,726
<i>♪ And I need to prepare ♪</i>

1510
01:30:39,809 --> 01:30:43,730
<i>♪ We can't go to hell
If we're already there ♪</i>