Gardevoir Journal

Anon, blind as ever, didn’t read the card that came with the flowers. He probably didn’t even notice the flowers, not unless they had “RAD STRIPES” on them. The only delicate thing that he owned was, well, you.

‘Gardevoir are kind, they are gentle, and they certainly don’t get so worked up over a man, much less a human man, who happened to have such a brilliant mind that is so totally incapable of noticing how much you love him.’ You tell yourself.

Perhaps he simply didn’t notice the flowers because he thought they were from his fans, who can reach him despite his travels over the world. Tracking anon was easy, simply follow the trail of empty wallets of those who lost to him. A proper Trail of Tears, though you had the suspicion that meant something else entirely.

It was time for desperate measures.

“Annnnnnnn”

He looked up, not before jumping as if struck by a thunderbolt. “The fuck? Is that you, C.C.?”

A small nod for your answer. The fact that he had named you after an anime character was a small pain, long buried. Arms slowly enveloping him, his musk in turn starting to mark you, you give your best attempt to overcome your vocal cords.

“I … lllllvvvvv icy. I lv y.”

Would he understand?

His scrutiny travelled my serene expression like how we had first travelled, which was to say, all over, nearly aimlessly. Eyes darting over my eyes, my indiscernible nose, my soft, small mouth with lips that deeply wanted him to kiss…

And its gone. He doesn’t understand. I cannot make very many English vowels. The o sound should be so easy, just one more syllable and he will understand.

When he doesn’t, I must find another way.

I kiss his forehead, and while he is in shock, grab a pen and paper which Psychic. Soft flowing script copied for months with 2 fingers difference in our hands. The message does get through.

[I love you.]

I write it again. Again. Again, until the page is full, until he understands. And on the other side I answer his questions.[Since I could realize my feelings were not a child’s love for a mentor, and not a friend’s love, nor an infatuation. Since that dark day when we were nearly crushed in that cave in, you led, and I made us safe when your body had all but failed you.]

[I tried telling you. You are blind sometimes, which is probably due to not going to school past basic battle courses. I’ve been the one buying you the flowers with the daffodils.]

[…The little yellow ones. Plus, the huge white roses. I make sure to put $2000 in your back pocket of your pants every day. Didn’t you notice that your shoes stopped getting dirty suddenly? That your money was being spent on things you wanted but couldn’t bring yourself to buy?]

[I couldn’t tell you. That Meowth on TV made it look so easy, but I can’t quite do it, maybe ever, say I love you. Physically, I mean.]

[It was this or catfish you on your PokeNav. Then have you meet me someplace under the stars.]

[Why?]

How can you tell the man you love why you love him? How can you tell him why without it being trite, without him disbelieving it?

[Because you are you. That you wont change for others, and the man you’ve grown up to be is the equal of any prince to have ever lived. Don’t laugh, I’ve been reading Machiavelli. Yes, its good for you to read it too.]

[Anon, save your “yes, Mom”ing for your mother, she hasn’t heard from you in days, and I’m sure she misses you. I would miss you so badly if you treated me like that, so remember to call her while we are away. You could even maybe… tell her about us?]

Eventually, you ran out of paper to write on, and after that, the computer needed a rest from all your typing on the keyboard. He did finally understand though. Took him long enough.