Thread 104: Stories 61-75

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Rarity"
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I travel the world and the seven seas! Now for our main guest...RARITY!!!
Applause

"Hello everypony and you Pinkie."

>So what did you think of the pilot?

"Pinkie...don't quit your day job. Also I don't know how I feel being included into-"

>It's a good thing I have a night job then! That's all the time we have and if we're lucky we might get a spin-off!

"I'd like to voice my disapproval of this of this."

>That's the spirit, Posh Spice!
Rarity wakes up.

"...is this how I'll get famous? Crashing parties?"

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OOCO
>Pinkie
"Staff"
~~~~

>This is PINKIE WITH... nah, you know what, this is dumb. Shut it all down, folks!

"...But... but we spent six hours on this set."

>Yeahhh, but... it's dumb. Do over!

"..."

~~~

>IT'S PINKIE PIE TIME WITH... wow, no, I just realized how complex this is. Nobody is going to be able to follow it!

"Could you simplify it?"

>Nope, no way, even simple version is too complex.

"...So-"

>So wow, what a morning, right? Do over!

~~~

>It's time for PINKIE PIE AND THE-.... where is my clown!?

"He's late."

>We can't be late, the sharks are going to get antsy!

CRACK!

>There, you see!? Now she's all messed up! Dang it!

"...so-"

>Do over!

~~~

>And now we're doing some smooth styling with... OH MY GOSH!

"What!?"

>I just realized this is SO OFFENSIVE TO WHITE PONIES!

"...what..."

>Oh my gosh oh my gosh! How could I have been so insensitive!

"It's... it's midnight, we've been setting up all night-"

>DO OVER!

"Nnnggh."

~~~~

>...ehhhhh...

"...Do over?"

>You said it, not me.

"ARGGHHH!"

~~~

>...

"WHAT!? WHAT'S WRONG NOW!? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WRONG NOW!?"

>Where's the set?

"YOU BURNED IT!"

>Wow, that was short sighted.... do-

"NO!"

CRASH!

"NO MORE DO OVERS! I QUIT! YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM MY UNION REP!"

STOMPSTOMPSTOMP
SLAM!

>...I was gonna say just do it anyway...

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>7
"FS"
'Buttercup'
[Bubbles]
~~~~

Things were going badly.

>CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!

"COME BACK HERE I SAID!"

She meant it as well, that was as apparent as every massive trunk of a tree ripped up and come to life, grabbing at him with thin branching fingers. That was as apparent as every twist and wobble of the ground beneath him as it rolled up and flipped like a rug before snapping in his direction. As apparent as the clouds above colliding together and shifting in colors until it looked akin to the top of a circus tent, blocking off the sky from his view.

All of these things made it very apparent that, whatever he had known of the meek, submissive and meeping little thing he had seen before had been pushed to the wayside. Anger that he personally had never been privy to see on her face had taken over, and there was little he could do but run.

It wasn't enough.

In a second, he was surrounded, nearly consumed, relying entirely on his skills as an infiltrator to avoid the out of control forest funhouse combination that had emerged. He flung his blades at any chaos creation that came towards him, but it did little more than pathetically thump against a chaotic hide before bouncing free, without stopping. He may as well have used a spitball. He was surrounded, and they were closing in on him in the sky.

There was no escape, and the horrible sound of crunching leaves and branches, and the looming rumble drawing in were the worst sounds he had ever heard in his life.

'OH OH OH! ME GET TO USE GUN NOW!'

Second worst.

>BUTTERCUP NO!

She ignored him, strange for her to do, and tore her box to shreds with her claw covered gloves. Within the rain of packing peanuts and wrapping, it emerged. The weapon she just had to have, no matter what, and with little more than sad eyes had gotten.

A positively massive, eight barreled, spinning monstrosity of a chain gun, so big it could crush a pony with it's weight alone.

'This going to be fun!'

She smoothly brought it to her hip with a smile, pointing every single one of the barrels at the things closing in on him, and he could only pray not in on himself. The thing came to life with a mechanical whirr, all barrels spinning so quickly they became a blur, the screeching sound filling the jungle all around, and...

Nothing.

'...What am wrong!?'

She looked over it, the distinct lack of booming explosions confounding her.

Silently, the changeling thanked every Queen in the hivemind, and accepted that being consumed was nowhere near as bad as this could have gotten.

>It must be broken, we'll bring it back later!

'But me just get it!'

>I told you it could break if you didn't handle it right!

'Me did!'

>Did you?

Her eyes went shifty as she questioned herself, wondering if perhaps she had done something wrong...

"Shame on you! Giving an animal a gun to protect you, and not even loading it! You were just going to use her as bait!"

'Load it?'

His hoof had never hurt so badly as when he had brought it to his face.

Nor had his heart ever felt so cold when she spotted the massive chain of bullets on the ground.

'Oh! Bullets not already in it! Me get it now!'

>BUTTERCUP NO-

Too late.

With a cackling glee almost as load as the hail of gunfire, she snapped it in and pulled the trigger, having the time of her life as the forest erupted with a sea of bullets.

>WHY WOULD YOU TELL HER THAT!? WHY!?

Despite the fact that not only was she in so little danger from the thing, to the point he was all but certain she had gotten hit at least once or twice, the pony just cowered behind a rock and glared at him.

"You're the one who gave her that!"

>I didn't think she would get a chance to use it!

He wobbled this way and that as the chaos things were torn apart, effectively shredded like paper beneath he hail of bullets, all the while praying to even the pony god above whoever they may be that he at least kept some of his limbs by the end of this.

"Liar! Then why would you buy it!?"

He pointed to the cackling, joyous face, noticing that she was drinking in every time she pointed her weapon at a creature, and when she moved it to the side nothing was left but crumbs.

>Because she wanted it and she was hurt, so I made her feel better!

"HER TOO!?"

Her scream rang out, and at last he could hear it. For besides the whirr of an empty gun, there was silence.

'...awww. There more in here?'

To her dismay, no such luck.

'Me out of bullets already!? Me wanted more!... Need big chain, BIG chain!'

>I'll get you one later just for the love of-

His words ended with a strangled cry as taffy wrapped itself around his neck, jerking him back down to earth as violently as his Queen could be on her worst days. His body skidded on the ground, tearing up dirt as he was drug towards the stern, glaring face of the pony at the end.

He lashed out, cutting it in one smooth motion and attempted to rise once more, only to find it in vain when the ground beneath him became jello, literally.

Struggling against the thing that stuck to him like glue proved fruitless as he continued to sink, the chaos being already advancing on him, stepping atop it like it was solid earth.

A last ditch effort, a knife flung right at her face, only proved to seal away any hope remaining. It bounced off her of like nothing, a comical sound akin to a knife falling to a kitchen floor ringing out over the blood rushing through his ears.

Buttercup, bless her, immediately tossed the weapon aside, and tried to make a dive for her. Alas, she received nothing but a leash around her neck for her troubles, anchoring her to a block of solid sugar that somehow weighed more than any stone.

Up to his neck in the ground, the sinking at last stopped, and she stopped once she loomed over him.

"...I don't hate a lot of things, you know. I'm not violent, and I don't ever want to hurt anyone, ever..."

Her hoof jutted down, shoving on his horn and forcing him to look her right into her staring eyes.

"But I never, ever, ever forgive anyone who would hurt a poor animal like you did! Look at her!"

She pointed to the timberwolf off to the side, cowering in terror behind a rock, shaking like a leaf in a storm and whimpering pathetically as she curled into herself, paws on her scarred nose.

"Look at what you did! That poor thing has been through such abuses... I can't believe you! I can't believe anyone would be so cruel, so sick!"

>I didn't-

She jolted his head down, slamming his chin into the earth and painfully making him bite his tongue.

"Do you think I didn't see the cages!? I saw them! I saw all of your other abused things in there! Oh, I'm going to free them too, by the way, but not before I make you understand just what you did!"

>I did-

She was quicker this time, even angrier. Off to the side, he heard a growl.

"They're not just things because they're animals! They don't deserve to be in pain! They don't deserve this! Look at her... look at her! She can't even heal right! She'll never be like she was again, probably! You... y-you..."

She rumbled, her entire body down to it's center. He could see the world distorting around her, becoming more chaotic, more frenzied. Things grew from nothing, showers of rain flowed upside down, photo negative lightning struck the sky. He felt terror as he looked to her, and knew it was only beginning.

"...you're a monster-"

An acorn.

Of all things, all possible manner of things, an acorn hit her in the side of the head, seemingly doing more damage than the knife even.

[L-l-let him go...]

Stunned, wide eyes remained straight ahead as her neck turned, letting her body bring into her vision the shaking, terrified thing whispering at her from behind a rock.

Another acorn, right to the forehead, and it hurt.

[L-leee...]

She hid again, bits of her body poking out from behind the stone nowhere near enough to hide her. All of it shaking.

"... why are you protecting him? He... he hurt you."

'No, YOU AM HURT US! HIM GOOD!'

She snarled and snapped, claws swinging out in a desperate attempt to reach her, the fury of her animal nature coming to the surface as claws hungered for flesh.

"Wha... what?"

>They said...

At last, she looked back to him.

To his scared, worried eyes, looking to both of them as he gulped down his fear.

>...I didn't do that.

Her powers lashed out again, silencing the snarling monster, the shaking beast, and the words attempting to come out of the changeling. She silenced them all, and looked around.

Looked around to all the broken creations, the broken monstrosities, the terrified things she had brought to life only to bring to battle, the many chaos things still living that would need containing, and knew...

She did this.

"... I need answers."

>I... I was hoping to keep it secret.

One look, that was all he needed.

>But I suppose if pressed... I could make an exception.

He had never felt more relief in his existence than when she gently pulled him up, and looked him in the eyes.

"I need to know, now. And if I don't like what I see..."

He needed to hear no more.

>Well, then if you'll unleash Buttercup and give me some time to calm Bubbles down... I guess I'll give you the tour.

She didn't know what she was going to find, in here.

All she knew was that she had stumbled across something far bigger with her animals than she had ever imagined when she started.

And she, no one else... was going to have to deal with it.

"Show me."

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 >AJ
"41"
'???'
~~~

>...Ya' know, this is goin' pretty well-

"PRINCESS HIDE ME!"

ZOOM!

>....

'COME BACK HERE!'

ZOOM!

>...wait for them ta' come back... annnndd... why is she chasin' ya' with a stroller over her head?

"SHEWANTSREVENGEFORATHINGIDID"

ZOOM!

'I'MGETTINGREVEEENGE!'

ZOOM!

>...comin' back around... annnn... what did ya' do?

"IMAYORMAYNOTHAVEPUNCHEDHERBABY!"

ZOOM!

'SHEPUNCHEDMYBABY!'

ZOOM!

>..........did Ah' hear that right?

"YESPROBABLYJUSTHELP!"

ZOOM!

'YESYOUDID!'

ZOOM!

>............wow.

"ITWASABADTIIIIIME-"

ZOOM!

'PUNCHED!A!BABY!'

ZOOM!

>...Ah'mma let this one play out.

"BUTMYQUEENSAID-"

>Ah' DARE her ta' call me on this.

"...You know, fair enough-OH LOVE!"

CRACK!

'DIEEEEEEE!'

"GET HER OOOFFFFF!"

>...nope.

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>AB
"SL"
'???'
[Cafeowner]
~???~
~~~

>...So, this ain't what Ah' was expectin'.

"At least it isn't the forest anymore."

>Ain't the forest, will give ya' that. Nothin's tryin' ta' eat us.

"Just scalp us blind."

>Right, that, they're just tryin' ta' rob us.

[HEY!]

>Look, Mister Gryphon-

[It's pronounced GRY-ffon.]

>Whatever, Ah' don't wanna imply yer' establishment ain't on the up and up-

[Because it most certainly is!]

>But, uhh...

"What freaking café charges ten bits for a single chocolate chip muffin!?"

[It's rare imported chocolate!]

>No it ain't.

[Are you calling me a liar!?]

>No, but mah' dog is. She can smell lies.

Pointedly, said dog did indeed growl just a bit, her teeth sinking into her sword's hilt.

[... Does that animal have a sword?]

"Try and take it from her, I dare you."

>She's pretty much the whole reason we ain't dead. She cut up a lotta monsters.

"Probably some she didn't need to, but she was on a roll."

[...I've decided you can have that one on the house.]

>Ah'd call ya' kind iffin' this thing wasn't so hard it broke mah' plate.

[That was more the plate...]

>...

[Did I mention I come from Griffonstone?]

"..."

GRRRR

[I'll go now.]

>Ya' do that... so, how do ya' think Sweetie Belle is holdin' up?

As if to answer her question, the familiar cart from before rolled up to their table outside the cafe, came to a stop, flung the door open with a flourish, and the friend in question as oh so gently brought out from inside, carried while sitting on a quite lush and expensive looking pillow before being set upon the ground. From within, they heard the nearly delirious voice of the carts owner.

~That was a... wonnnnderful time, Sweetie Belle! Come back annny time you like... oh, and keep the pillow, I think you need it more than me now. Ta taaaa~

With that, the door shut, and the cart rolled off, Sweetie Belle waving at him all the way.

'Byyyyye Cari! Thanks for the trip... Oh! Hi guys! You have fun on your walk?'

>...Well, she's smilin', and don't look like she's been cryin', buuutt...

"Uhhh, Sweetie Belle?"

'Yep!'

"Did you do anything... with him?"

'Lots of stuff! Really weird stuff too, but I thought it was fun after a while!'

>Uh huh... he ask ya' ta' do anythin'?

'Just sit back and enjoy the ride!'

"... Did you eat anything there?"

'I got soooo stuffed with Candy... and other stuff! Just, so much candy. And other stuff. Lots of other stuff too, but mostly I was face down in candy having a fun time.'

>...Well she's clean, at least, so-

'He has a shower in there!'

"...and you... needed a shower?"

'Well, a duhhhhh, I was all sticky!'

>Oh! Cause o' the candy?

"Oh, right."

'Yep! Well, that too, but yep!'

>Too?

'Yep!'


>....
"..."
Arf.

"Gonna elaborate?"

'Elaborate on what?'

>Look, just... we might not wanna question it.

"I have to know, why did he give you the pillow?"

'Because my tummy is sooooo so sore, it got stretched huuuuuge! I feel like I might not walk right for a week!'

>...
"..."
Arf.

>Winona's right, let's just... stop askin'.

"Stop asking about what?"

>Exactly.

'Okay!... So did you guys have fun?'

>Mah dog has a sword and can cut up monsters.

'Neato!... So, what did you guys order to drink? I need to wash the taste out of my mouth.'

>...
"...I..."

>Just let it go, Scoots... just let it go.

'This trip is fun.'

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NC
>AJ
"Maud"
~~~

>Wait, ya'll can't roll that boulder?

"No, it is a very heavy boulder."

>But... but ya' broke one bigger than it before.

"I did that."

>Without even slowin' down.

"True."

>IN THE AIR. Ah'm no physicist, but without a stability beneath ya' doesn't that mean its way harder ta' do and require more than double the force?

"That is correct."

>But ya' couldn't push this thing up the hill.

"No. It is a very heavy boulder."

>...

"..."

>...Yer' fuckin' with us, aren't you-

"Pocket sand. Sha shaw."

>MAH EYES!

"Whoop... whoop... whoop.. whoop.."

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>Dash
"???"
'???'
[LD]
{???}
~~~~

The scene the new captain had left behind had been an odd one.

Her second in command had strolled in, a befuddled look on her face and her nose scrunched up in confusion, a letter of some kind gripped

[Uh, boss? You're... not going to believe this.]

That, as it would turn out, was vastly underselling it. The contents of that note were strange as they were simple. Just a location, a date, and that was it, save for one other thing. It was signed by none other than one of the former Wonderbolts herself, the one she even now despised most of all.

Fleetfoot, for some reason, seemed to want to see her.

Of course, her initial response had been to blow it off, to leave what was most likely a trap behind and laugh it off all the way. She didn't know what the doubtlessly bitter pegasi had planned, but she saw no reason to be a part of it, at least at first.

Her competitive edge came out as she pondered it more. She found herself almost excited at the prospect, as it went on. The thought of Fleetfoot actually trying something, making a move she couldn't take back or hide behind, and finally being open to getting the justice she deserved. Her imagination ran wild with a thousand scenarios, at least half of them ending with Fleetfoot with a broken nose on the floor, and any fears to this being a trap fell to the wayside beneath the need to get out there and make those dreams a reality. She left without a second thought... after making sure that Lightning Dust knew where she was going and how long she should be, of course, just in case it was a trap even she couldn't see coming.

She was awesome, not stupid.

With so many scenarios in her head, she thought she would be ready for anything. Nothing, she believed, could possibly shock her.

The massive crowd of reporters surrounding an empty podium surely proved that wrong.

>What in the...

Whatever few expectations she had remaining left her when she spotted a certain familiar face on the outside edge of the crowd.

Every single feather on her back bristled with the chill running down her spine, the uneasiness and anxiety making it hard for her to stay aloft. She did eventually come down to earth, close to the body in question, but she felt no less nervous when she did so.

>So, uh... she invited you too, Spitfire?

A stark, bright yellow face snapped around, glaring the other captain down before returning to looking straight ahead.

>Any idea what this is for?

She didn't answer her, silent as death, always looking ahead.

>Look... look, I know I kind of-

'Save it.'

She was nothing less than brutal in her words, blunt as a rock to the face and just as kind. The cyan pegasus thought of pressing forwards, of trying again, trying anything, but it was too late.

Whatever this was, it was starting.

"Can I have your attention please..."

The reporters all snapped up in unison as the familiar faces of the once prestigious Wonderbolts fluttered down, apprehension plain for all to see. Fleetfoot took her place at the vacant podium, Soarin right at her side as she did so. To say she looked sick simply did not cut it, to say she looked uneasy even less so. She looked as if she had been given a parachute packed by Discord himself, and told to jump off a cliff with broken wings.

"I... ahem, I..."

Breath after breath flew in through her nostrils, deep heaves puffing out her chest and slowly releasing them as she shook slightly. The stallion beside her tried to reach out to her shoulder, only to be shrugged away. Her white mane shook as she rocked her head from side to side, only opening her mouth to speak again after she had swallowed down a lump of pure bile in her throat.

"I... I-I..."

A silence hung heavy as she stopped once more, and her wings fluttered as if preparing to take off. So enraptured with the strange behavior, the new captain only barely saw from the corner of her eye that Spitfire had gone rigidly tense.

"...You're all wondering why I asked you to come here. Well I... I have a confession to make, and everyone needs to hear it... Everyone."

Every reporter found themselves leaning in, microphones at the ready. Both leaders, on the other hooves, felt ice in their lungs, cold disbelief stopping their heartbeats. They, even now, could not bring themselves to hope she would actually do it. For a while, she didn't.

Only when, at last, his hoof managed to reach her shoulder, did it come.

"...It's about the drug problem the Wonderbolts had. I..."

The whole world could have collapsed, and none of those present would have even noticed.

"...I did it. It was me."

To some, it may as well have.

'No fucking way.'

Dash, though she could not voice it, very much shared that sentiment as her jaw positively dropped. She couldn't believe her ears, couldn't believe this world, thought that she must be dreaming, Fleetfoot must be Discorded, something that made any more sense than the reality she was being confronted with.

But she pinched, and she was still awake. She squinted, but the pegasi's colors were correct, she thought about it, and came to the same conclusion. Nothing made any sense.

Over the roar of the reporters asking questions, it was hard to hear when she continued speaking again. But speak she did, the floodgates opened up, the facts coming out. There was no going back now.

"It... it was me. I'm the one who procured it for them, I sold it to them... all of it, all of it was me. Only me, not Soarin' not Spitfire, nobody else. I... I did it."

Her face fell as tears started to prickle on the corners of her eyes, her heart heavy as she felt the judging weight of every eye upon her.

"To clarify, I never used any of them myself. I never needed them, I never wanted them and I achieved everything without any sort of aide from this. All those races, all those records, that was me. That was all me..."

The looks they gave her said just how much that meant. It wasn't much at all.

"But since you probably want to know... the performance enhancers I used was called 'Blaze', it was... heh, see the funny thing is, it's not illegal. I know! I know, but it's just... there's no regulation on it. It's just a root imported in from Yakyakistan. That's it! That's all... it doesn't do anything to yaks, but when you mix it with certain over the counter drugs it has an effect in pegasi and earth ponies it essentially acts like a prescription steroid, only... longer lasting. It's not supposed to be visible in tests unless you use big doses of it since the over the counter stuff... look, that's why it showed up on the drug tests, they overused it. I found out about it, and... and I sold it to them, and then they..."

She took another deep breath, trying again not to look at their stricken, disgusted faces.

"I guess... I guess you want to know why? Well, that's the stupid thing..."

She laughed, bitterly and full of spite, but she laughed.

"It wasn't for any reason like I wanted to be cool, or I wanted a drug empire, or blackmail, anything like that... you know how this started? I needed some money to go on my vacation."

They gasped, and she recoiled in shame.

"I know! I know, it was so stupid, and selfish, but... look, a rookie was falling behind, he was dead last and couldn't take the shame anymore, so I contacted some of my old school buddies, one of them who was studying biology abroad. She hooked me up with some, and I figure... well, it's not illegal, what's the harm? It's not like I'm going to use it myself. It was just supposed to be the one time, just the one. I'd get my money, this rookie got a boost, everybody wins. Just one time..."

The bitterness coiled her mouth in, thick and disgusting.

"...it's never just the one time. Once I had my vacation, more came up to me. He had told them, and all of a sudden they all wanted to try it. At first I said no, but then I was thinking "Wouldn't it be nice to get my cousin this for Hearth's Warming'? Then it was "Wow I could use a bigger apartment", and it just kept happening and happening, and before I knew it... I didn't even care anymore. I was loving it, I had all my money, I had my fancy suite, all the best food I could eat, I was a Wonderbolt, I was one of the best fliers, I had it all, I had everything... I could have stopped it, at any point I could have stopped it. Just... if I just told somebody about it, I could have made them stop, I could have ended it before it got too far, it would've been banned, made illegal right away, if Spitfire had known she never would have..."

She stopped, suddenly choking as something clogged in her throat.

"...It's my fault. Okay? It's... it's my fault. It wasn't Spitfire. She didn't... she didn't let it get that bad on purpose. It got that bad because I went around behind her back, and I did this. I was the coward that stayed silent and skirted all punishment, she was the one who accepted responsibility and took the brunt of it for something she had nothing to do with. Even if she would have asked, nobody would have told. Nobody would have admitted it. Nobody. She didn't... she didn't deserve what happened to her, and I just kept watching... no I didn't just watch, I joined in, I fucking joined in."

Tears were starting to rain on her podium now, coming freely, no chance of stopping.

"I ruined her life, I ruined the other Wonderbolt's lives, I just kept fucking up and fucking up because it got me money, and I never had to pay any consequences for it. So... so now I'm going to start."

She kept crying, even as she tried to stand up and look strong.

"I, Fleetfoot, sold them this performance enhancing substance. And though I didn't take any myself, just for selling them... by Wonderbolt regulations, I... m-my... my..."

Her throat closed, and her eyes burned. She couldn't bring herself to say it, it hurt too much. She didn't need to.

Even if the reporters below didn't know what that meant, two very important ponies most certainly did.

>She... she gave up all her records...

Every one of them, stricken from history. Every one of them, removed, void, null.

Her last clinging grasp on the Wonderbolts, gone.

"And..."

Amidst sniffles and chokes, she tried to continue on, struggling to do so as she lost what little composure she had.

"And I'm so sorry, so... so I'm going to do something about it. My money... all of it, every bit, I'm going to use it for... them. A fund has been started, right now, for them. The ones who took what I gave them, and lost everything. Maybe they can get it back some day... maybe..."

Everything, gone.

"...I'm so sorry... I didn't want Spitfire to get fired, I didn't want to betray my friend, I didn't want to hurt the team, I just... I didn't think it would... n-no... I didn't think. I didn't think. I just did..."

That, seemingly, was all she could manage. She slid from the podium onto unstable hooves, needing help to stay up.

"...That's all. That's everything. I... look, I know you can't arrest me, even though I probably deserve it... this is all I have left to give up. I don't want it anymore."

The reporters tried to get more from her, obviously, tried to squeeze more blood from the stone, but it was all in vain. She had bled out, and she was empty.

It was a while before they accepted it, and left, off to go print their big scoops, off to reveal her secrets and shames to all the world, off, leaving her alone with nobody but Soarin'. Used up, once her story was gone, knowing she would be forgotten after this. They were alone.

'I... I can't believe you did it.'

Except for two.

Two foes, most days, yet any animosity forgotten. All of it forgotten as they stood side by side, disbelief clouding every inch of their features. They couldn't, wouldn't, believe their eyes or ears.

It had happened.

'You... you actually did it.'

Pitifully, shamefully, the other one nodded.

>...why'd you do it? Why? I don't... why would you?

Her head swam, no possible answer coming, nothing about this making sense at all. Thankfully, blessedly, Spitfire could fill in the blanks.

'Because I told her if she did... I'd let her on my team again.'

So much had been building in Dash before that. Perhaps even a bit of... respect.

It almost all went away right there.

>And?

'There is no and.'

>I meant, like... you agreed to make her your new second in command or something?

'Nnnnope.'

Briskly, the yellow mare walked up to her, a hard look in her eye as she looked down at the pitiful thing on the ground.

'Well, you did it. I guess I'll keep up my end of the bargain and let you in the Airforce, as a trainee. If you were hoping to get back in the force, too bad. Get ready to do some scrubbing. That's all.'

Without another word, she spun on her heels, and started to walk off.

>...was it worth it?

But couldn't, not quite yet. She had to hear this.

"...Are... are you serious?"

>Yeah, I'm serious! You... this isn't anything like you!

"...I need to fly..."

Her voice was a low, broken whisper. It was loud enough.

>Just... she's just going to run you ragged.

"I don't care."

>She's going to humiliate you, just like we did to her.

"I don't care."

>She's never going to let you be on top again.

At last, some fire came back.

"I don't care, Dash! I don't care, okay!? I don't... I don't care. I don't. I don't need it, I don't need that... I need to fly, Dash. This is all that matters."

She looked to the silver haired mare, eyes wide, mouth slightly opened, confusion across her face, no longer recognizing the mare she saw.

>Where was this back then, huh?

"...what did you think I meant?"

She didn't elaborate to when she spoke, she didn't need to. They both knew. That day, when she had been fired. She had said anything...

>You really meant... even this? You would really have been willing to do this, just to stay with the Wonderbolts?

She didn't answer with words. She merely held out her hooves, gesturing all around.

"I'd have given up way more for the Wonderbolts."

Before, the rainbow maned mare would never have even considered it a possibility that was true. Before this day, before a mere hour ago, she would have laughed off the mere idea she would have given away a single thing for anyone other than herself.

>...How much?

"...I don't have anything else left."

She believed it. With the hollow words she spoke, she believed it.

"S-Soarin'?"

{Yeah?}

At last, the silent stallion looked up, making a noise for the first time since this all started.

"...Just take her up on it, please. We... we don't both have to leave."

{I told you, I'm not leaving you.}

"This is your home. Stick with it... she'll let you go back."

{It's your home too.}

"...I guess not anymore. If you're my friend... stay."

'You coming?'

That was all that needed be said, or asked. She slowly began to make her way past the Wonderbolt captain, head hung low as she started to follow the one she had before.

She stopped, not of her own makings, but by the cyan hoof that shoved her in the chest. It held her in place, wouldn't let her move on another inch. She was stopped, but the blue mare would not look at her.

>... where was this? All of this? Where did all this... you, come from?

"...I don't know. I guess I just... found it on the bottom."

She started to move past again, but the other held firm.

>So what you're saying is... it was always there.

"I... I guess? I don't know."

>...I think I do.

One more time, she tried to move past.

This time, Dash let her go. Let her continue on, right on Spitfire's heels.

>Fleetfoot.

As if the command was magic, she froze, locked in place by the authoritative boom that rumbled her bones to their core.

>...If...

She watched, trying to squash the traitorous hope that was growing in her chest, doing her best not to read too much into the rigid stance, the constricting throat, all of it, trying her best not to...

>...If you think you still have what it takes to be a Wonderbolt, you'd better be ready to show up at O six hundred hours to my office, sharp. Maybe, if you make a good case... I'll think about it.

...trying her best not to cry.

And failing, just as she had before.

"But... but Spitfire-"

A yellow hoof shoved her forwards, towards the cyan mare.

'Doesn't want you around anyway, I was just fulfilling an agreement. If you've got something better than scrubbing my floors with your toothbrush, you'd best take it.'

The voice was cold, hurtful... but there was something else there, something inside of it.

Something almost warm.

>Spitfire-

She didn't wait for anything else. Yellow hooves beat, and the legendary speed of the Wonderbolts took her to the sky, and away. The new captain watched, a weight down upon her wings again. So much she needed to say there... but it seemed that talk would not be today.

There was something else that had to happen, today.

One mistake, at least, she can fix.

>Well, rookie? What's it going to be?

She kept staring, even long after Spitfire was gone from sight. Kept staring up above at the clear, blue sky.

Kept staring, even as it started to rain on a sunny day.

"...I'll be five minutes early."

She tried to remain professional, tried to keep a straight face, but nobody was that cold. Nobody could have remained still beneath the tone spoken, like a mixture of a child appeasing it's mother and a joyous infant who has found it's long lost dog. She had to leave, now, before she thought anything more of the mare looking up.

>...Good job sticking with her. Don't think anybody else would have. You know... the new Wonderbolts are all about loyalty now. You need a job?

A happy, yet somehow still slightly sad smile split Soarin's face, a goofy lopsided look to him as he saluted her.

{Wonderbolts have to stick together, after all.}

>That they do.

She felt light as she took to the skies, and started to head back towards her Wonderbolt base. She felt strange as she looked down at the worst Wonderbolt to ever be, bar none. She felt off, realizing just how much had been there, that she hadn't seen before.

She felt something when she looked at her again, but she didn't quite know what. She left, choosing not to dwell on it, for she had work to do. It was time for a change, a real one this time.

She left the mare sitting in the middle of the street, her head pointed up.

She left the mare looking to the sky and crying.

She left the mare who could at last... dream again.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOCO
>Pinkie
"Dash"
'Rarity'
[FS]
~~~

"Okay, now you're just asking for it."

>BAZAM! I love that, make that your new catchphrase!

"No."

>Okay! Annnnd, welcome back to-

'Camera isn't running.'

>Oh, shoot... Welcome back to Pinkies Party Poppers!

"Are you ever going to stick on a title?"

>When I do, I'll just dub it in.

"What about lip flaps?"

>...Shut up.

[Um... why am I here?]

>Because we're crashing parties, and we need a wildcard!

[...I don't want to crash a party.]

>Or do you?

[No.]

>Or dooooo you?

[No.]

>See, that's why you're perfect wildcard, you never know what you're going to do next!

[That's not what I said.]

>Now, everypony sit back, because I've found a super special secret ultra hard to find party, and we're gonna crash it!

"I'm in."

'This is a terrible idea!'

[Oh my...]

>That's it, fill those roles, ladies, you're perfect! Now... ahem, the password is Fidelio.

'...Wait a minute...'

>Annnd-

'PINKIE NO-'

~~~

>Okay, so we don't have an episode, but we DO have blackmail on a lot of rich ponies, and maybe some lawsuits from the chaos things Fluttershy threw in front of us to cover our escape... that's something.

"..."
'...'
[...]

>How was I supposed to know that's what it was!? I thought they wore the funny masks just because... funny masks!

"...I wanted to stick around."

>...
'....'
[...]

"I don't take it back."

>...N-NEXT TIME ON PINKIES PARTY PROWLERS!

'That makes us sound like sexual predators.'

>Er, next time on Pinkie's Party Ponies.

[...I see it when I close my eeeyyyyeeess...]

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Twilight"
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but everypony is looking for something! Now for our main guest...TWILIGHT!!!
Applause

"Salutations everypony."

>Have you ever thought about marketing your simulator? Those enchanted comics are doing pretty well.

"SARS needs a lot of power. I don't know if I'd be able to make it affordable for consu-"

>That's all the time we have! Join us next time when I try to do an aggressive takeover of the entertainment industry!

"Wait is that why you want-"

>Hahaha I'm joking Twilight! It's not like I was going to try and buy out the simulator from you!
Twilight wakes up.

"...Sometimes I can't tell if she's joking or being serious...this is one of those times."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOCO
>AJ
"Dash"
~~

>...What in the heck are ya'll doin'?

"Making Fleetfoot scrub the floors."

>Ah' thought ya' weren't gonna do them there humiliatin' punishments?

"I'm not."

>This looks pretty humiliatin'.

"No, you know what's humiliating? Slipping on a pile of fear-vomit."

>...

"..."

>...ew.

"I will never be clean again."

>Well, y'all stay outta mah' bathroom.

"Pfft, like I would use your-"

>Between Celly and Shiny, Ah'm full up.

"...What."

>Er... lookit her go!

"Don't you ignore me."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"2"
~~

>...Sweetie, uh... what the heck happened to your room?

"I'm not s'posed ta' tell."

>I... think you need to tell.

"Not s'posed to!"

>I really, really think you need to tell me.

"Nuh uh!"

>...okay, what didn't happen in this room?

"Misses Pinkie didn't come in here and not break everythin'."

>I see.

"...wait... TRICKERY!"

>Trickery? You didn't tell me anything.

"...Hrmmm... I feel like Ah' got snookered."

>That's not what that means.

"What? Yes it is!"

>No, it isn't, snookered means... uh... when Auntielestia comes in and she's acting... wobbly.

"NU UH!"

>Yeah huh!

"NUH UH!"

>Yeah huh!

"Ah' betcha' six weeks o' chores it don't mean that!"

>You're on-

~~~

>So, long story short, I'll be cleaning up Two's room for the next six weeks... also, screw you, language.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ
"Pinkie"
'Sunset'
~~~~

POP!

"BOOM BABY!"

'GAH!... WHY!?'

"Because Chrysalis does it, and she's always happy. Have you ever seen her sad on a normal day when she's slamming doors? I challenge you to pick a time."

>...She's gotcha there.

'Does she? I literally do not think I have ever even spoken to Chrysalis on a normal day, does she just slam stuff!?'

>All the time.

"It's her thing, like trying to bang Shiny."

'Isn't he married?'

>That has not stopped literally anybody. Nobody cares.

'...Weird. Did Equestria just suddenly get really okay with herding?'

>Wha? No, that's dumb.

"It's just them."

'That just raises further questions!'

"And we'll answer it after these messages.... AJ!"

>Eyup.

"Have you spotted any potentially funny changelings in there? I'm looking for a dating game show."

>What kinda variety ya' lookin' for?

"Oooo~! You mean you might have one with a stalllliony flavor?"

>Maybe. He's kinda flippy bout it.

"Excellent! I shall observe him."

'...What, just like that?'

"Everyone else is doing stuff, why can't I do stuff? I'm Pinkie!'

>Ya'll can do stuff.

"Cool! Now... why is that changeling in a tree?"

>He's an apple.

"Oh, DUH!"

'I'm afraid. You're somehow more jumpy than the other one.'

>It's infectious too.

'Yep. Just goonnnna rip this out real quick, be with you all in a second.'

"Oh! Oh! I call dibs! Maudy would love to see that!"

'...Nevermind.'

"Awwww!... You'll see a rock heart another day, Maudy... another day."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Celestia
"18"
~~~

SLAM!

>Alright, this is a robbery! Put yourself in the bag and... and...

"...what time is it?"

>Uh... about one in the afternoon?

"How much longer till night time?"

>...Seven hours?

"Oh... how long has it been since eleven?"

>T-... two hours?

"...how many days is that?"

>Negative twenty two hours.

"...that is a lot of days."

>It's literally the exact opposite in every way.

"...Would you like to have a crumpet with misses nessy bottoms?"

>I would not. Also, is nessy bottoms the stack of paperclips or staples?... By the by, that is some damn impressive staple sculpturing. Did not know that was a thing, but kudos, that somehow looks exactly like a pony.

"Oh, don't be silly, misses nessy bottoms lives out the window."

>Oh, well, I wouldn't want to leave her in that case... BYE!

CRASH!

>NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOpenopenopenope... nope... op....

"...Pfft, teach her to try and abduct me and make me do her paperwork, fuck off, am I right?"

~That's right.~

>Damn right, Paperclip pony-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

~What? Do I have a spider on me?~

>AHHHHHHHHHHHH

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Fluttershy"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and some of them want to use you! Now for our main guest...FLUTTERSHY!!!
Applause

"H-hi."

>You were a great wildcard! I called it!

"But I...I didn't really-"

>Plus we have the attention of some very influential ponies with money. A huge bonus!

"Oh, I guess that's good, but I don't think the way we got it was-"

>If we keep this up we maybe we can get you your own show where you try to prank ponies!

"I'm not terribly good at pranks."

>It'd still be cute if you fail, so it doesn't matter. That's all the time we have, but keep your eyes wide open for my friend, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy wakes up to eyes all over the wall staring at her.

"...*squeak*"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOCO
>Pinkie
"Dash"
'FS'
[???]
~~~

>And now it's time for another one of PINKIES-

"Hey, where'd Rarity go?"

>Hm? Oh, uh... she had like... actual work to do. Did you know she still makes dresses?

"Really? Huh... weird, actually, that is kinda weird."

'Oh, so um... if I have stuff I need to do-'

>Too late!

'Oh...'

"But, wait... don't we need a disapproving posh pony?"

>Yep! That's why I brought on a good old super buddy of mine! Everyone say hello toooo... PRINCESS CADENCE!

[Are you all the ones who broke my wall? Eighteen had to work very hard to have that fixed on time!... Er, wait, is that thing rolling!?]

>We can edit it out in post.

[Phew! I don't know what that means but it all sounds very soothing for some reason.]

>Yepper! Now, I need you to be as disapproving of everything we're doing as you can!

[Are you going to keep wrecking my house? I'm very disapproving of that.]

>That's the spirit! Now, onto our next big target, the school dance!

'Um... are you sure this is a good idea?'

>Hey! Know your role! Wildcard!

'So that means I could possibly be the disapproving one too, wildcard means it can be anything.'

>...I feel shame. This is new.

[What!? We can't wreck a school dance!]

>See? She knows how to-

[Not without also BLOWING IT UP!]

"..."
[...]
>...Excuse me wha-

[WHY AREN'T I YOUNG AND A PROM QUEEN ANYMORE!? WHYYYYY!?]

>Please put the Party Cannon down, that is not for-

BOOM!

>...

"...Huh."

'Um... I think she would make a better wildcard than me.'

>...Wildcard! Do battle for your title!

CHUCK!

'EEP!'

[OH MY GOSH IS THAT A GIANT RABBIT-]

BOOOOM!

"Well, uh, you crashed the party."

>I'm counting this as a win.

"There's a giant rabbit attacking a cannon wielding Cadence while Fluttershy tries to apologize."

>...what part of that doesn't sound like a win to you?

"...point."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________